#for real I am hit with a wave of 'oh god is this annoying in any way' pretty often jabfb in fact i had it last night

[ferahntics]

Gotta say thanks to you, I’m shipping my ocs with canon as well. I was nervous at first, but eh. What else am I gonna do, yeh?

ONE OF US ONE OF US

.

For real though I'm so flattered to hear that!! QvQ 💕💕

I was super shy about it at first too, but like... if you're not gonna indulge in it yourself then who will? And if its something that makes you happy then go absolutely nuts with it!!

[clitorphosis]

REAL MUSOR

Leon S. Kennedy x reader | 18+ MDNI. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, NON CONSENSUAL SEX, STALKING, SOMNOPHILIA, SMUT, female reader, Leon is a cop and a little bit obsessive, breeding, he is icky, mutual masturbation (reader isnt aware of it btw), unprotected sex, creampie, vaginal sex, fingering, oral sex, entering and breaking, forced exhibitionism I guess?, dirty talk, pet names, light gaslighting, non consensual voyeurism, use of spycams, police corruption, non consensual drug use.

Summary: dating isnt really Leon's thing, to waste his precious time and money over a woman that may refuse to have sex with him at the first date isn't worth it. Sure, putting cameras in your apartment to jerk off of your body and breaking in to fuck you are considered much better ways to get what he wants - quicker too.

notes: Musor is a derogatory slang term for a cop (=pig), also it means "trash" :3 I don’t condone anything here in real life. :3 uhm, reblogs or comments and any kind of feedback are really appreciated!

tags: @withonly-sweetheart

Leon has a problem and it started many years ago. Not his alcoholism, no, that can be put aside as something to indulge when life hits hard. Guilty pleasure one would call it. Not his job too, he likes being a cop - it comes with its own advantages. His problem is much simpler and it also got nothing to do with his dick.

Dating apps. They aren’t his cup of tea; meeting new people is hard and nowadays most of them try to find someone on dating sites or apps. Wasteful, he is an employed man with a big responsibility so to court a woman that may be a gold digger would be foolish. Also, unluckily for Leon, one date is not enough to bring most women into bed and the prices are already too high so risking to find a parasite without any payback isn’t something straight out of his dreams.

Also, women don’t get wet if you are a cop unless they have a cop fetish. Apparently, uniforms and handcuffs are only cool in the bedroom. Not like he minds that, cause with time Leon found other ways to enjoy his women. Much more preferable ways.

Two or three knocks on the wooden surface with his knuckles, fingers ran through his blonde locks so they wouldn’t dangle in front of his eyes. Your door opens wide with your confused eyes set on his frame, not expecting any guests, especially a cop. A bad omen.

“Good afternoon, I am here to check. Someone complained about noises coming from your apartment at this hour, miss” Leon explains, showing a pearl-like smile. Too perfect, too cheesy, but attractive appearance always soothed people’s worries, being easy on the eyes makes things uncomplicated. Who doesn’t trust beautiful people? “It won’t take too long”

A pensive hum escapes from your tensed lips, but there is no other choice other than accepting this - you nod, letting him enter inside without any additional questions. Like taking candy from a baby. And you were dumb, which ended up playing nice for him.

The apartment is a studio one, not expensive too. That was expected, you look young, but not enough to have your own place. Renting at a cheap price in not notoriously good neighborhood suits you better.

When the checkup is finished, you seemed so worried to hear his eventual words or clear bullshit. Not every person is used to a cop’s presence in their own cozy little place. Suspicions are natural reactions, but not for you, still believing in that little story that he told you before. A blatant lie, only the dumb bitch would have believed that. You.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry—“ you were apologizing almost every time he would appear in front of you. And even now. Annoying, but also hearing your words filled with so much anxiety made him feel good. Really good. And any wrong word would make you cry easily. Which would be nice to see. He cut your quick rambling, waving a hand mindlessly as his eyes travel to shelves.

“Yeah,“ Whatever. Leon nods absently, finally crumbling to the urge to glance into your almost glossy eyes - with great pleasure enjoying his own reflection in them. His mind wanders to possible images of your face filled with tears underneath him, easily making his pants feel tight around his cock. He can’t help himself. “Maybe someone holds grudges against you, be careful”

Another bullshit, but still you appeared unsure and at the edge of his presence until he was out of your apartment. There should be kept a count of his successful lies. As a respectful man, it was hard not to thank you and wishing well-being before leaving. After all, it would be a bad touch to leave without a gift, right? Leon hadn’t actually thought these little cameras would be used today, but fate had other plans for you. In his defense, it was really hard not to set those little cameras in your apartment while he was ‘doing’ his job. Especially when you were so sweet to him. Weirdly enough, installing them was an easy and quick task, even simpler was to find crannies or shelves to put in these little cameras he had bought or confiscated. After all, it would have been a big waste to throw them away, right?

So sweet. You were asking for it.

An easy target too. And now many rooms were under his watchful eye; bathroom (the best view is there), bedroom and also in living room too. In a little time, Leon got to know your schedule, it wasn’t hard to remember - a simple routine, even a kid would be able to memorize it. Like a little TV show, he enjoys watching after work or during his rare vacations. Whatever you do on Friday morning, when you return home, and when you usually go to sleep. Or when you have your private time, masturbating in bed alone and filling his ears with your moans. Or even better, showering or resting in the hot tub, your tits and body exposed to him - like a nicely wrapped present that he needs to open one day.

The best part is - you aren’t aware of this.

You aren’t aware that many evenings when your fingers creep their way down to your pussy to part its lips and rub slow circles on already swollen clit under the sounds of cheap-acted porn actress’ moans - these evenings were shared with Leon. There is that arousing wet sound when your fingers stroke your leaking pussy. His attention easily glues to the screen, out of habit freeing his hard cock from the pants - it bobs and twitches in the air with already formed beads of pre-cum on his aching tip just begging for any kind of attention. Your lips would be nice, but a tight pussy even better. His fist cups it in a tight grip, slowly pumping his cock while watching the sight of your trembling and parted legs. And your moans, little breathless whimpers - his favorite. Sadly, this gets muffled by his moans, as his own strokes become rougher and quicker trying to keep up with your fingers. Leon knows the signs of your approaching orgasm, he knows everything about you too well. Watching like a possessed man as your toes curl from the growing pleasure, thighs snap closed around your wrist as your back arches while making more sweet noises.

He cums with you too, at the same time. His body tenses and his hand grips tighter around his hard cock. Eyes rolling back. Mind blank, intense orgasm hits him hard as usual. No other thoughts other than how good you are for him. And pretty. His breathing is hard and heavy, feeling his cum sticking to the skin of his hand and stomach.

The best porn he can ever see - special too, only for him. Putting such a show for him to enjoy after a hard day of work.

Feeling the stickiness of his cum on his palm and not being able to avert his eyes from your spent body. This brings him to his senses like an apple falling onto his head, a sweet idea. He needs more of you.

It has become a routine at this point.

Did he abuse his authority? Yes. Does he care? He doesn’t, because in other circumstances he would do that again.

Watching your body and getting off from this little show isn’t enough anymore. Doesn’t hit the same. Like a drug addict, searching for another dose and something stronger one can offer. He needs his hands on you. Going further, exploiting every opportunity his job gave him - it wasn’t hard to start breaking in without any traces.

Leon can’t be reckless nor impulsive, but to keep his hands to himself and not give in to a sweet fruit was hard.

Your sleep is short, he noticed that soon. You wake up at every little noise coming from different sources. That won’t do. This is not good and can’t be healthy for a young woman. On one of many visits to your empty apartment, to take a little present for himself or to adjust cams, an idea popped into his mind: why not put something in the bottles of water? The dose would be light anyway, this drug can easily knock out a big, burly man and Leon is here just to take care of you, in a boyfriend-like way. Not to overdose you.

Your apartment feels homely to him already, kicking off his shoes before walking freely around the place. He may be a cop, but not a pig. The anticipation was insupportable, months of waiting for your body, many concerns - not being really sure about the method and the dose. What if it wasn’t enough, what if it wouldn’t work, and many-many ‘if’. Leon had waited enough, there was a limit to his patience and it was already tearing apart with every passing second.

The mattress beneath you dips softly with his added weight, in the dark room the outlines of your figure are still visible, and the edge of your shirt is rode up and shamelessly exposes the flesh of your stomach - what a tease you are and you don’t even realize it. Your unconscious body, deep in the sleep, and he probably has all night to enjoy you. This heightens his arousal, not daring to touch you for a solid minute - not believing how lucky he is right now. Blood buzzes in his ears, hearing his own thoughts now: you, fuck you dumb, and need to cum in that pussy.

“I know you so well,” Leon whispers, his voice comes out shaky. What a man wouldn’t do to stuff a pussy. His lips carefully kissed yours, not being able to pull away his eyes from your peaceful face. Tracking out every little twitch in your features, but you are in a deep slumber. “like a book that I learned to remember. By heart. Inside… and out”

His hand lightly touches your neck, giving a brief squeeze, watching you gasp when he lets it go. Still asleep. Leon is testing the waters here.

“Oh, it’s alright, sweetie ” Leon whispers, not being able to hide his fascination towards your state. Cupping your jaw and tilting it to the side, like a doll to play and move around as much as he wants. “We are on camera, this is so important for both of us. Something to remember, right?”

This is wrong, of course, in the back of his mind someone whispers that Leon shouldn’t enjoy this so much - you are unconscious, not aware, but that’s the thrill. In any other circumstances, he could pull out a gun to force you, but the idea was pulled aside as the sight of your malleable state is much better. His fingers rubbed your thighs, pushing them apart easily so he could position himself in between. So soft, he can’t help but enjoy the sensation of your skin, his hand impatiently slips to push away the fabric of your underwear, to get a real glance and close of your not-so-aroused pussy. Too bad, but this is easy to fix. A mouthful spit of saliva would be quick and nice, a way to avoid a headache, but he changed his mind - your pussy is shaved. Leon whistles lowly, what a good girl you are. To bury his face in your pussy would be a nice start, after all, you have shaved for him, no? He is nice enough to reward you for this.

Shifting a little bit, easily manhandling your legs and placing them on his shoulders. Leon spits down a mouthful of saliva on your cunt, before leaning down with a long and broad stripe across your pussy, parting the lips with his tongue, groaning against your slit. Tongue glides across the folds, slowly warming your body up, like a hungry man trying to relish in the taste of your pussy so sweetly lingering in his mouth.

“Such a good girl, letting me play with you like that” Leon groans against your clit, it sends a pleasant vibration across your limp body. His hands grip tightly the flesh of your thighs, a normal person would have woken up to push him away, right? His mouth sucks on the clit, giving light bites with his teeth and your hips naturally try to ride him, messily bucking into his face with every rapid lick of his tongue across your sensitive bud.

Fuck, your reactions are cute, he wants more. His two digits push inside your hole, starting to move in and out of you shortly - making your body flinch again and a soft moan draws from your lips. He kept lapping across your slicked folds, his teeth nibbling on the sensitive nub, but not enough to hurt - his tongue laps away that bite anyway, not forgetting to suck your clit in between his lips too.

Your cunt gushes wetly around his fingers, they curl up against your walls, with the rough pace pumping and press on the velvety and wet skin, until he finds the spongy, sweet spot that made your hole clench tighter around his fingers. Soft and weak moans escape from your now parted lip, chest raises up and down rhythmically with every thrust. That’s a good sign. The taste of you and your natural body reactions entrances him, making his cock throb more in his pants, straining so hard and uncomfortable against the fabric. Leon pulls away from your now-soaked slit, impatiently freeing his cock from the jeans. It would be a waste to finish this so quickly after just getting a taste, fingers pull out of your hole roughly with a wet pop, your cunt left dripping, wet, and cold now like he took all the heat with it. Frankly, Leon does not care about your pleasure. Unlikely he will any time soon.

“Huh, you like this” Leon mumbles out slowly to himself, his hand gripping his cock and it twitches in his fist as Leon began slowly stroking it. Thumb presses on its tip, stimulating more pleasure through his body and letting out a breathless moan as his blue gaze surveys his work; your warmed-up pussy, more aroused than before. It glistens with your slick and his saliva on it. What an addicting sight. A light feeling of pride rose in his chest, as his hand flexed again and more beads of pre-cum formed on the tip, quick strokes smeared it along his sensitive and hard flesh. His cock throbs and aches to be inside you. Hell, Leon needs to stop before he cum over your unconscious state. Impatiently not noticing his own heavy breathing filling the air, he positioned his cock to your pussy.

“Who would have known you would be so fucking wet for me” he cooed huskily, rubbing his cockhead against your slicked folds, bumping against your clit. Your arousal is mixed with his saliva, it spreads easily on his veiny and hard cock - to use it as a lube. Easy and free, he doesn’t bother to buy one after all. His free hand grips your hip tightly, angling it to finally guide his cock into your neglected hole. “you really waited for me to use you, right? Just dying for more.”

Deep down, like every man, Leon prioritizes his pleasure. Who doesn’t actually? Good women should be eager to please and look nice for him. Attractive even. Unfortunately, your state isn’t the one to expect the eagerness. But there are advantages to this too: unconscious girls are much easier to enjoy. But still, giving a free pass to you isn’t something that will please him, no matter how good your pussy is. His pleasure has been always the most important element in the sex. Would not be fair to his former lovers too. He is so nice after all, any other man would have pulled out a gun to threaten you after breaking in to fuck you without putting a substance into some of your drinks. That’s an idea to keep for next time.

Your pussy feels so nice, your walls stretch around his length slowly. Leon imagined it differently, not so tight, but tighter it is, better for him. Warm heat envelops him almost in a vice-like grip, forcing a low groan coming from his throat. Maybe this wouldn’t be pleasant for you if you were conscious. But also, aren’t you so sweet and nice? Of course, you would have let him do that over and over. And if you wouldn’t - again, Leon doesn’t care. Your pussy engulfs him in so addictingly warm and to make this even better, your walls clench ridiculously tight around his cock. For a moment, Leon was not sure he would have been able to last long enough for him. Your pussy makes him dizzy, so much that he needed to take a pause, keeping his cock halfway through.

Leon slowly pulls out, leaving inside you just the head of his cock, his gaze is not on you anymore. He couldn’t care less about your state, but the sight of your pussy stretching around his tip is the one he can get drunk on. Popping it in and out, over and over until all he can hear are wet and filthy noises - and his own moans mixed with heavy breathing, while more slick gushing and now sinking his cock into you deeper and so easily. That didn’t last long, he hates denying himself what he needs. What he craves and now he craves to fuck you. And cum. Inside you. And he will.

“Taking me so right… fuck” Leon groans, burying his cock deep inside you, his hips meet flat against your ass. Slowly starting to roll his hips back and forth, deep and slow thrust, hitting his cockhead against your cervix.

This is addicting to him, worse than any kind of drug. Mindlessly mumbling out senseless praises, while his hips rock into you in quick thrusts, heavily breathing and not being able to look away from your leaking cunt. God, the images of you waking up and begging to stop fill his mind in a suffocating manner - his cock throbs inside you, another slam of hips. A hard gulp.

A man should be careful with his own wishes. Nails weakly dig into his biceps, not enough to leave half-moon marks. Even a kitten would have been able to leave a deeper scratch on his skin. But still, Leon’s hips stutter, realizing you shouldn’t move. In the dark, your eyes are half open, clearly fighting with the grogginess of the drug in your system and trying to orientate.

“Shhhh… easy there, sweetie. Be a good girl, get back to sleep” The tone of his voice is sweet and whisper-like, but the breathless lilt is still there. Your back aches weakly again, feeling him hitting your g-spot in slow and agonizing thrusts, but this isn’t enough to pull you out of your state. God your head is dizzy and the man in front of you is so blurry too. Heavy breathing escapes from your lips, swallowing hard the excessive saliva pooling in your mouth. It is hard to squint, hard to focus on anything. A side effect he didn’t know about, still not his fault.

“Not real, just a bad dream” Leon adds, his breath fanning across the side of your head, watching how your expressions shift weakly and eyelashes flutter as he slowly drags his cock out to bury it back in the same pace into your pulsing pussy.

“No…uhh…-not a dream…” your voice is so weak, meek, his dick fills your pussy entirely, every drag of it makes your body tremble and tighten around it more. You are easy to play though, mind is so fogged by the drug it would be easy to convince you.

Blue eyes almost spark in the dark, looking down at your confused and groggy state, his hand covers your mouth - he doesn’t need any noises other than moans and whimpers coming from you. Too distracting. You are clearly not aware of what’s happening, feeling the heaviness of your body dragging you back into the intoxicated slumber.

“…Just a dream. ” Leon repeats, enjoying watching you trying to push him away, your hands ghostly pressing against his chest in a weak protest. “Be a good girl, nothing bad will happen”

And these struggles make his cock throb in your pussy. So addicting to watch how the drug in your system is still kicking strong making your limbs return to being limp again, God, he was so close to just busting a load in you.

His pace quickens, becoming more ruthless and messier than before. He can’t stay here forever, unfortunately, but god he wants to fall asleep on you with his cock and cum buried inside you - to watch your reaction in the morning. All he can hear right now is the flesh-hitting sounds mixing with wet ones too. Your lips twitch, heavy pants and whimpers drawl out of them, while your pussy clenches tightly in a silent plea to fill it, not only with his cock, but sperm too.

God, and if you aren’t on the pill? What a nice present he may give you after this night. Getting you pregnant was enough for his hips to stutter in their pace for the last time, before shooting a hot load of sperm inside you. Burying deep inside, the warm cum fills your pussy almost to the brim, his mind is blank - focused how his cock pumped rope after rope inside you. When he is all spent, Leon slowly pulls out of you, and a disappointed whimper escapes from you too - too bad, he is not going to let you get your high. Too much work. His blue eyes watch how the cum oozes out of your hole for the last time.

The lights of the morning are particularly blinding, you’ve never noticed that before. Dryness in your throat. Like needles pressing inside every time you swallow down, aching for a gloss of water. The urge to throw up and to hide away from the rays of sunlight is overwhelming, not stronger than the heaviness in your body though. You force yourself out of the bed, dragging yourself to the bathroom was so hard, like a heavy bag instead of your body - it is already almost impossible to wake up and get your things done. Washing away the exhaustion from your face with the chilly water from the faucet. Your mind is foggy and not catching on to sticky feeling in your panties. Nonetheless, your body screams at you - your stomach feels turned inside out, messy, and used. And unsatisfied. Like you had the worst sex in your life, without getting your own high.

Your memory tries to flash out the sight of the dark room and blue eyes, being filled and hearing his voice whispering heavily, but you shake your head - pushing it away in your mind. Hiding it in imaginary drawers, - just a dream. Nothing more, you check your door every night. It is always locked.

Yes, a bad one, explains your state too. The nightmare does exhaust you easily after all.

[vinnellamadz]

Enemies to lovers Adam x f!reader?

Enemies to Lovers

Adam X Reader

A/N: I shed blood, sweat and tears making this. SORRY IF ITS OOC this is my first real fic Adam is a PAIN to write.

You were never really able to get along with Adam. From the moment Adam arrived in heaven, the two of you were always at each other's throats.

Adam would always pick fights over the smallest things, and it was always enough to make you bite back. There wasn't a single day that he couldn't get under your skin and make fun of you. Calling you names, competing with you, and just being a general pain in your ass.

Today was the day of the first-second extermination of the year.

Adam was off giving his soldiers a 'pep talk', but before he flew off to this hazbin hotel, he came to you first.

As always, he made sure to get his daily insults in before he left, tearing into you with his words, ensuring you knew just how inferior and pathetic he deemed you. His snarky and playful tone only served to aggravate you further. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you snapped back, 'Oh, shut up! I hope you never return, Adam!' His initial shock quickly gave way to a smug grin. 'Calm your pretty little head, babe,' he retorted, his arrogance undeterred as he continued to prattle on about himself."

You weren't even listening; His annoying voice was easy to block out.

“plus I know you’ll miss me, I fuckin’ rock, I’m THE Adam” he pointed to himself keeping that stupid shit eating smile he always had, god you wanted to punch him so bad but couldn't, as you feared you would get sent to hell so you slammed the door in his face instead.

Later that night, you were sitting on your heavenly comfy couch, enjoying the latest episodes of your favorite shows. You were just about to fall asleep when a frantic knock jolted you from the cushions. With a tinge of fear, you approached the door, thinking, 'This is heaven; this couldn’t be bad, right?' As you opened the door and peeked out, you were shocked to see Adam, but he was far from his usual self. Covered in golden blood and bearing multiple stab wounds, he looked as though he had been through hell. (Lol) Without hesitation, you flung the door open, calling out, 'Adam!' before he collapsed on your doorstep.

It had been a while since you found Adam. Earlier, you had managed to drag him to your couch. As you attempted to patch him up, you discovered several more wounds scattered across his body. Shocked by the extent of his injuries, you couldn't help but wonder who could have inflicted such damage.

hours have passed since the surprise at your doorstep. You had fallen asleep on the floor beside him. When you woke up, he had yet to awaken, Panic gripped your heart as you reached out to shake him gently, wondering if he had actually died in his sleep. (double dead) You placed your finger beneath his nose, relieved to feel the subtle rise and fall of his breath. 'Why do I even care so much...' you pondered, a mix of emotions swirling within you.

More hours had passed, and as you were making lunch for yourself, you heard him make a sound. Turning around, you saw that he had finally woken up. “What the fuck am I doing here?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. “You came to me, Adam. You're hurt.” Upon hearing your words, he winced and attempted to sit up, but a wave of pain washed over him, causing him to groan. Reacting quickly, you rushed to his side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder to ease him back down. 'Lay down, Adam,' you said softly, concern evident in your voice. “You're going to make it worse if you push yourself too hard.” Adam groaned with displeasure as you stood up and started walking back to the kitchen. However, something he said made you stop in your tracks.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” You froze in surprise. 'What?' Slowly, you turned to him, a shocked expression on your face. “Excuse me? How hard did you hit your head?”

You stood there in silence as he just stared at you “… I’m just fucking with you… dumb b-bitch…” he looked away in embarrassment, you stared at him with a shocked look ‘doesn’t sound like was a joke..’

“I can do it myself!” He argued.

"If you move, you'll probably explode or die. Stop it!" You were trying your best to care for him these past few days, but he's just such a pain in the ass. Currently, you were trying to feed him, but he kept turning his head away, stubborn as ever. Fed up with his behavior and the frustration boiling inside you, you finally snapped. With determination, you grabbed hold of his head, locking eyes with him. "Just eat it, damn it!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice as you forcefully shoved the spoon into his mouth. Finally, he relented and ate it, although begrudgingly.

“I’d rather you shove your-“

“Shut the fuck up”

“Moody Bitch…”

You scoffed at his remarks, striding over to him and motioning for him to sit up, to which he obliges. "Take your shirt off," you instruct. He smirks in response. "Don't give me that look; you know what I mean." His smirk fades into annoyance as he complies with your request. Gently removing his bandages required getting close, and you carefully unwrap them before swiftly replacing them with fresh ones, wrapping them around his body with precision and care.

"You look really pretty down there" he grins at you, his eyes sparkling with admiration. You blush in response, feeling a warm flush creeping up your cheeks, unsure of how to respond to the unexpected compliment.

Wanna know a secret?" He said, catching your attention. You looked at him with a confused expression, but slowly nodded, curiosity piqued.

"you know I live alone right now? No one's going to—" Your words were cut off as you felt his hand grasp your face, Before you could react, his lips met yours in a sudden, electrifying kiss, sending a rush of warmth through your body.

Adam pulled away, leaving you stunned and bewildered by the sudden rush of conflicting emotions.

"You make it so damn difficult to hate you," he confessed, his voice tinged with frustration and a hint of something deeper, something you couldn't quite decipher. As you stood there, grappling with the unexpected confession, you realized that perhaps there was more to your relationship than just rivalry. With a mixture of uncertainty and expanding hope, you met his gaze, silently acknowledging the unspoken possibility of a new beginning between two former enemies turned potential lovers.

This was so hard goodbye. It’s so OOC I’m soo sorry I tried to rush the end to put this out faster 😭

[mintkookiess]

I like you, okay?!

A/N: Fluff fluff just fluff after the whole fiasco with "It's Always Been Her." (I need to recover from it)

Anyways, enjoy!

Love,

Mint

POV: Miles comes into your room at 3 am unexpectedly :3

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, slight cussing, LOTS OF FLUFF, sassy annoyed reader, confessions

Word count: 1k

At around 3 am, your phone started dinging, making you groggily grab your phone from the bedside table.

The sudden light from the screen made you wince. "Why the fuck is Miles texting me, it’s too late for this.” You groaned as you clicked on the unread message from him.

Hey Y/n, can I come over real quick?

You clicked your tongue in frustration, placing a hand over your eyes, and rubbed softly in a poor attempt to wake yourself up before looking back down to type the shortest possible reply that you could muster at the time.

Sure.

After hitting the send button, you huffed, chucking your phone across the bed.

As your eyes start to close once more, a soft stealthy tapping at the window makes you open your eyes again, making you grumble from great annoyance at how your best friend always found the worst times to sneak into your bedroom.

Spiderman or not, this was plain fucking torture.

"Are you ready?~" You hear a muffled voice as the window opened wider. "Oh God, please no." You groaned, throwing a pillow over your face. This was your last attempt to just drown him out, but apparently, nothing is going your way tonight. 

You hear the soft padding of feet, accompanied by the familiar thwip sound of his web-shooters, swinging himself into your bedroom with a soft thud and faintly landing on his feet.

"What do you want Miles?" You said with your voice muffled by the pillow. "I know this might be a horrible time to ask, but do you think I could stay for a while?" He asked with a sheepish smile. Miles stood by your bed, awaiting your response.

You nonchalantly wave your hand off at him, eager to just get this over with. "Do whatever you want man." 

Miles' eyes glistened in delight. "You're so kind tonight, what's changed?" His stupid ass question just made you want to throw him out the window.

You didn't respond, too exhausted to even think of a sassy remark. It was literally 3 in the morning, you did not have time for his antics. 

However, he merely chuckled at your lack of a reaction as his lips curved into his usual smile. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a night owl. What with patrol and all that, but I couldn't go without seeing you. Your eyes have been haunting my dreams..." He trailed off.

"Ah yes, it's me being your sleep paralysis demon telling you to stop bothering me at such an ungodly hour." You replied sarcastically, finally removing the pillow from your face as it started to give you a hard time breathing. 

You turned to lay on your side and looked up at him, clearly unimpressed. It was just too late for this shit. 

Miles sees this, and suddenly gets defensive, sitting on the edge of your bed across from you. "Maybe if you weren't always so busy with classes—"

He suddenly stopped talking as he realizes what he said. Miles' face slowly turned red and he was internally hoping to all the gods existing that you wouldn't spot it from the darkness of your room. 

Ah, maybe I should just jump out of the window. He thought as he took a deep breath in, his fingers tapping against his thigh anxiously. "I like you, okay?!" He quickly said, nervously looking up at you. 

"You... WHAT?!" You suddenly yelled, causing you to sit up in shock, mouth agape and eyes widened. What the hell is this guy on about now?! And at 3 FUCKING AM?

"Okay okay, I know. Totally stupid to just jump the gun here but it's so hard to sleep. Sometimes I lose focus when I'm being Spiderman. I spend an awful lot of time thinking about you. Y-You're funny, kind, smart, all the things I like in a person." Miles rambled on, not even daring to stare directly into your eyes for fear of seeing your reaction to his sudden confession.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing. "Is this why you deliberately tried to be my lab partner when I was new at school?" To which Miles' nervous expression became that of a guilty one.

"Maybe..." He admits, his voice sounding even less confident than before.

"Don't you like that Gwen girl from our class? I would've assumed because you two are literally so close." The guy in front of you only shrinks further into himself, feeling his heart sink and his face fall. "Gwen's like a sister to me. She isn't you." He said with a slight emphasis that really sounded more like a whine. 

Miles' words are slow but honest. His eyes trail up to the wall behind you to try to keep a brave face, which was slowly crumbling by the minute.

You snuck a glance at him before exhaling loudly. You flip your fingers back and forth, signaling him to come closer. "I guess you can cuddle with me." You mumbled, ignoring the way your cheeks are heating up. 

Not even wanting to see his reaction, you place your blanket back over your entire body, laying back down on your bed, facing the wall and away from him.

He seemed surprised, and his face instantly lit up. Miles let out a happy gasp as he grabs your blanket gently, climbing underneath it as he cautiously wraps an arm around your waist and snuggles up against your back. He even mustered the courage to bury his nose in your hair. 

Miles' heart was beating erratically, rendering him absolutely speechless as he held on to you as if his life depended on it. Well, it was a dream come true for the poor boy. He'd been practicing how he'd confess to you for the last three months. 

"You do know that you're going to have to work hard to get my 'yes' right?" You mumbled, trying to use every ounce of energy left in your body to numb the way his arm around your waist made you feel. "I'm fine with that," Miles quickly replied, his words soft and comforting. 

"As long as I can be with you, in any capacity, I am content." He chuckled. Shortly after the two of you slowly drifted off to sleep, still in each other's arms. Or more like, you were still in his arms.

Fin.

See more of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[allwormdiet]

Shell 4.3

In which we finally discuss the locker

Little surprised that Alec is taking the lead on this one, but pleasantly so

And yeah, here we finally get an explanation for powers and triggers and all that, or at least the foundations of it

...Also there's no way that Glory Girl triggered just because of a basketball game, that has to be a crock of shit. What's up with New Wave claiming to be the most open hero team and then coming off the shadiest? How am I trusting these people less than I trust the government capes?

I like that they make a point of reassuring her after her blunder. She couldn't have known, and they know that, and they don't hold it against her. I love these kids.

Brian seems more comfortable smacking Alec around than he does Rachel. I don't think that's a thing of not wanting to hit women, last arc he decked Vista like she owed him money. Maybe it's that Rachel intentionally provokes that reaction and Alec is just kind of a little shit? Idk

Again, I remain utterly fixated on how this is Taylor's one line, the thing she refuses to compromise on ever. I'll buy that she doesn't want outside interference from the Undersiders or other capes when it comes to the bully situation, but it's harder to do that when she never makes a move herself.

This is so. Evil. Like, the false friendship, the rotting tampons, the imprisonment. The fact that nobody who sees this play out even bothers to help her. The fact that she's trapped for hours. If that didn't give someone a trigger event, I'm not sure anything would.

Alec is actually so real for this. Like for all that he was disgusted with the story (which, fair) his disgust isn't with Taylor, it's with the fuckers who did that to her. And Brian agrees with him! Lisa is making a point of not disagreeing, even.

Oh hey, Taylor actually acknowledges her thing with anger and violent retribution. Glad she's cognizant of that, it'd be a whole situation if she wasn't tbh

Actually thank god for Alec keeping up this line of thinking, this might be the most passionate we've seen him get about anything. The runner up is like, him being annoyed he can't keep Kid Win's skateboard, and that's peanuts compared to this. Maybe he's wrong about the revenge thing but I don't know that he is, and he's definitely not wrong about the indignity that Taylor is allowing herself to suffer

I don't think this is half the lie that Taylor thinks it is. For all that she has noble intentions, and I don't doubt she'll do her best with those... I don't think Taylor's drive to be a superhero was entirely selfless. This isn't all truth and justice going on here, this is feeling strong and being appreciated by others and not being looked at like a bottom-feeder.

Wonder when she'll figure that out for herself

Get cared about idiot! Get absolutely blanketed with affection and approval from the people who would absolutely rip your bullies apart if you asked them to!

You know. I think Brian's trigger event is one of the ones I know the least about? I know the broad strokes of almost every other Undersider, but I don't think I know anything about his.

Current Thoughts

Even knowing what's coming, reading through Taylor's ordeal with the locker is so fucking heartbreaking. She could've died in there and the consolation prize she got was not worth the cost of admission, that's for damn sure. Emma Barnes is a fucking maniac for this one.

The stuff about powers and trigger events is a pretty neat concept, and I like how it kind of contextualizes most capes as being fucked up. Like, I'm thirteen years late to the party on this one, but what a fascinating fucking idea to build your superhero setting on.

Alec really shone through for me in this chapter. Maybe I relate as someone who finds it easier to get angry on others' behalf than to be angry for myself, or maybe it's just nice to see him get fired up about something. I like this kid.

...Got work and a family thing today, but I'll see if I can't slip some more updates in. I'll probably read some at least and double back with my thoughts if nothing else

[vickyvicarious]

RIGHT away, this is devastating. The vain determination to hold on to something in "I know there is sunrise because I am a sailor," - oof. Also, the fact that the fog is so thick he can't see the sunrise at all is awful.

Then, when he says "I dared not go below, I dared not leave the helm," all his uncertainty and just how lost and afraid he is truly comes out. I love how soft his voice gets.

"so here all night I stayed, and in" he's so good at using this little half chuckle to make me very distressed for him. Here he's laughing at himself once again, what a fool he was for not understanding, once again he was a fool to have any hope that he would be alone now and no more deaths would follow...

"in the dimness of the night I... saw... Him." CHILLS. soooooo creepy, sooooo well done.

The way he says "no man can object" just hits so hard, it feels somehow like an apology to the mate in a way even more than the line saying he was right did.

"But I am captain, and I must not leave my ship." ABSOLUTE BANGER OF A LINE. GOD. I knew it would be, but. Oh my god. He's choking up, how he almost fades away on captain, how his voice shakes somewhere between helpless laughter or tears but helpless either way. I love the long shaky breath before this line, building up his resolve. And then how he just sits with it for a couple seconds afterward, quiet, as the music grows stronger (I love the music)

And he comes back determined. He can do so little, but he will do it. He will baffle this monster in whatever way he can, he will protect his own soul though he couldn't protect any others, and he will keep his honor as well. He won't let this monster take what little he has left.

(I think part of the next line is missing, since it goes right to "-ight is coming on")

His determination holds strong, but his final lines show that this isn't a dramatic last stand, full of heroic vim and vigor. It's a long, aching, terrifying standoff, trapped alone with a monster who has killed everyone else, who has taken away the very sun, alone with only the God that the Captain already feared had abandoned him as any sort of comfort at all. He's scared and worn and he doesn't have any real hope left but he will cling to his role as captain, when nothing else is left. Dracula's laugh coming right after "God and the Blessed Virgin and the saints" and then echoing over "help a poor ignorant soul trying to do his duty...." makes it all even worse, because even as they are invoked the Count laughs about it, seemingly proves that they aren't here, they can't stop him. No one is going to help this poor, ignorant soul; and Dracula finds the idea of him trying to still do his duty hilarious.

(For now at least. If the Captain's theory on "what he may not touch" is correct then I'm sure that will annoy Dracula plenty when it stops him getting to the helm/his last victim.)

SEA SHANTY!!!!!!!! I knew it would come but!!!! So exciting. And the lyrics are so morbid. Here's a trick to catch a ___. Adding in the soft waves in the background, the way the "oo-ooh" gets more uneasy as it goes along, how they get less unified, how they start to fade away, individual voices become more distinct. And that ending is so good.

DRACULA SINGING AT THE END OMG, I HATE YOU SO MUCH SIRRRR (delighted)

[luckycheesefoodie321]

UNFILTERED REACTIONS TO PJO SHOW EPISODE 8: yes, spoilers. No, coherence.

LUKE SAYING THE LINES???? LUKE SAYING THE LINE!!!!

Ok but it’s so important we see Luke teaching Percy swordsmanship bc having the best swordsman in camp teach him is so important to his development as a warrior.

Also what a stellar move bringing Luke purposefully for the final ep and making him the first words. All those Luke stans are either in euphoria or they’re hella suspicious

Ok but that was some solid fight choreography and Percy sweeping Ares out with a mf tidal wave was fun. Get wrecked by a twelvie Ares!!!

Oooh true form Ares!

And at least he’s true to his word.

“Please” why was that so sweet??

“We know who Ares and Clarisse are working for” STILL. EVEN NOW. HE STILL DOESNT ONOW.

AHHHH ANNABETH GIVING PERCY HER NECKLACE AND GROVER ACTING THE THIRD WHEEL

“Couldnt this be an email?”

“Where’s the glory in that?”

Hmm Olympus needs to be more gold but then we’re heading into Asgard territory??

LUKEEEE. Letting Percy conclude demigods are pawns for the gods to break rules and also showing his own thinking that he is scary but he’s fed up with being small.

Was so busy looking for Poseidon’s fishing chair that I straight up didn’t see Zeus

Lance Reddick!!!

Idk if it’s Lance Reddick’s natural timbre or special effects but there’s a rumble under his voice

DAMN PERCY BOUTTA DISH DIRT ON ZEUS BEING A SHIT DAD AND PATRIARCH. TELL IT LIKE IT IS PERCY

POSEIDON

Lmao Zeus was boutta smite his ass

Jovial beach dad energy isn’t quite there but we make do. This is pathetic Poseidon protecting his son

“We’ll declare my swift and crushing victory” YOU PETTY ASS JOCK OLDER BROTHER and the way Poseidon sighed like an annoyed little brother

This conversation is everything to me. And they’re both doing so well.

I’m half a mind that oh yes the show Poseidon is absolutely choked up by emotion at how much he dreams about Sally and the other half is “well I do dream about her but not the dreams I should share with my twelve year old son”

And then dude didn’t answer

Oof not a soft landing Poseidon

NOT THE SILHOUETTE OF PERCY AND THALIA’S TREE

ARE THOSE THE STOLL BROTHERS?!?? LOOK AT THEIR LIL FACES!!!

LUKEEEE

Oh god it’s gonna happen but there’s a whole half an episode left????

HOW YOU FEELING LUKE DEFENDERS???

Lowkey given how much they emphasised it, dude has a point. But againnn Percy showing himself and how he’s a foil to Luke (SEE THAT LUKE SAID THE LINES AT THE START) he can see the good in the gods even if they suck as a whole

Also Backbiter!!

BUT ALSO THE DEVASTATION ON LUKE’S FACE WHEN ANNABETH CAUGHT HIM AND HIM SWITCHING BETWEEN PERCY AND ANNABETH AND KNOWING HE’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONVINCE HER TO JOIN HIM AT THIS TIME

Putting that emphasis on their relationship so the final prophecy hits that much harder

And Oercy apologising in a life or death battle (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

OH NO POISON SCORPION (as in there is none)

MR D YOU CANT GASLIGHT HIM INTO DOUBTING HIS REAL NAME XD

I was so caught up in how cool Annabeth’s hair looks that I missed the Seaweed Brain

Grover I’m so proud of you!!!

I won’t lie. That whole moment with the golden trio gave me the same energy the end of the first Harry Potter movie used to give me with the “I’m not going home. Not really” with the swelling music and the huggg

BUT ALSO GROVER YOU AINT GONNA BE THERE

IM SORRY WTF WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

I FORGET IF THEY EVER MENTIONED THEY WOULDNT DO GABE BEING TURNED TO STONE BUT WHERE IS GABE TURNED TO STONE

OH THERE IT IS. I know Sally has done a lot of other cool things but I am disappointed she can never add abuser murderer to the list.

[justatiredghost]

No Freedom from Knowing ch12

The general mistrust of magic as well as dangerous people in his past kept Jonathan Sims isolated, hidden away where he hoped he might finally be safe. Until he met someone who might be worth shattering that peace for.

(yes, I know this was supposed to be done, but I wanted to write more lol)

-

John kept glancing over at Martin as they walked, a dangerous pastime since it meant he wasn’t watching his feet carefully enough and almost tripped several times. There was no way Martin could have missed it, but he seemed to be content to wait for him to speak up. 

“Are you all right?” John asked eventually, unable to bite his tongue any longer. 

“I swear, John, if you ask me that one more time—“ Martin said, looking amused despite his exasperation. 

“Ah, right,” John said. “My apologies.” He hadn’t realized how often he’d been asking. 

“Is there something you actually wanted to ask?” Martin pressed. 

“I suppose, yes. I was just— wondering how you are adjusting.”

“I really am okay,” Martin said, and he sent him such a soft smile. “I mean, yeah, not knowing what we’re going to do when winter hits isn’t great, but that isn’t actually a new feeling for me. And being with you helps.”

“Oh,” John said, and he could feel his face burning at that. 

“What about you?” Martin asked. “You’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard. How’s your leg?”

“Yes, it seems I’ve gotten rather soft over the years,” John huffed in annoyance. 

“You’re not soft, you’re injured,” Martin said. 

“I don’t have time to be injured.”

“You have to pace yourself, we don’t know how long we’ll be traveling.”

“This isn’t actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh, of course,” Martin said, amused. “God forbid we talk about your feelings, time to change the subject.”

“There just isn’t anything to talk about!” John said in indignation. 

“Uh huh,” Martin replied. 

“Look,” John huffed. “I just wanted to know how you’re doing with the whole Lonely patron thing.”

“Oh,” Martin said, and his smile slipped away. John almost wished he hadn’t pushed. He’d rather the teasing if it at least amused him. “I don’t really know. I think I’m okay, it just makes everything— muffled, I guess, if I’m not careful.”

“I’m here for you,” John said, before he could think too hard about it, trying to ignore the way his face flared with heat in embarrassment. “Whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” Martin said with that same soft smile again. “I know. Now,” he continued in a more normal tone, signaling the end of the conversation. “How about we set up camp here?”

“A bit early in the day, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, but there’s a lake and I’d like to try my hand at fishing.”

John was fairly certain the real reason he was suggesting they stop was because he was limping more than usual. He didn’t want to admit it, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could continue, so he decided to take the offer to spare his dignity and agreed. 

Martin tried to hide his concern, but it was hard to miss. Maybe John had agreed too quickly, usually he argued more if he thought the insistence on a break had anything to do with his leg. He really did need it, though, so he chose a relatively clear spot for them that was out of sight from the road and sank down to sit against a tree with a heavy sigh. When Martin started gathering twigs and sticks, John waved him off. 

“Go do your fishing stuff,” John said. “I’ll take care of that.”

“Okay, okay, just don’t burn yourself again.”

John wanted to be annoyed, but had difficulty when he saw Martin’s smile. Instead, he turned his attention to making the fire. 

-

John wasn’t entirely sure if the nights were actually getting colder, or if he was simply struggling more than anticipated with sleeping outside on the ground. Usually, with a low-burning fire on one side, and Martin on the other, he was doing well enough. But tonight he woke up shivering violently. 

They’d managed to steal some supplies. John tried not to feel too guilty about it, and right now he was exceedingly grateful as he pulled the blanket more tightly around himself. He reached a hand out to pat the spot next to him, to find Martin and pull him closer, but there was only open air. 

Sitting up in confusion, he cast about, looking for where he might have gone. There were plenty of reasons for someone to get up in the middle of the night, he reminded himself, trying to choke down the panic. It didn’t necessarily mean danger, that Elias or angry townspeople had found them. But then he spotted Martin standing on the shore of the lake and he sighed in relief. 

The longer he looked at Martin, though, the more unsettled he became. He was only wearing his sleep clothes and, while he wasn’t as bothered by the cold as John was, he thought a jacket was at least advisable. And it looked like he hadn’t bothered to put his boots on. And then John saw the fog on the lake slowly reaching tendrils towards the shore, towards Martin, and his blood ran cold. 

John scrambled to his feet, frustrated with his stiff and sore muscles. He almost fell and grudgingly grabbed his cane. Everything was so still that he found he was afraid to raise his voice too much as he called out to Martin, but he didn’t respond. When he was close enough, he grabbed his hand and gave it a tentative pull. 

“Martin, are you with me? Can you step away from the lake?”

Still nothing. That was bad, there was no way he’d be able to forcefully drag him back. He moved to stand in front of Martin, between him and the encroaching mist, and put his hands on his shoulders. He looked even farther away than he had in the Lonely and he wasn’t sure the same method would work here. 

“Martin? Martin, please.”

John was always so afraid to use his magic, it was too dangerous. But if Martin’s life was on the line, he would. He focused, on his patron, on knowledge, on the memory of everything he and Martin had been through together. He had never attempted something like this before, but somehow he knew it would work as he slowly, carefully, brushed that knowledge against Martin; an invitation. 

Immediately, Martin’s eyes snapped to his, properly focused and wide, as a soft, “oh,” escaped his lips. He reached a hand up to touch John’s cheek, being so careful. “I didn’t realize.”

“Didn’t realize what?” John asked, still apprehensive, unsure if the danger was over. 

“Nothing,” Martin said, shook his head, as if to clear it. “I just— thank you. For letting me in, despite how terrifying it must have been.”

“Oh,” John said, as realization crept in. He’d just shared everything he felt for Martin, how much he cared about him, how lost he’d felt when he’d sent him away, everything. His face burned as he turned away, embarrassed, and he cleared his throat to try to regain some composure. “Yes, well, if you’re back with me, can we perhaps step away from the lake?”

“Oh!” Martin said, looking around for the first time. “Right, yes.”

“Do you remember what happened?” John asked. He threw a glare towards the lake, but thankfully the fog looked normal again. 

“Yeah,” Martin said. “I had an unpleasant dream, thought I’d take a walk to clear my head. I guess it didn’t go so well. I was already feeling kind of out of it, I should have seen this coming.”

“Did the dream have anything to do with—“ John began, trying to find the right words. 

“Loneliness?” Martin asked with a small sad smile. “Yeah. But it was just a dream. I’ll be sure to wake you up next time.”

“Oh good,” John said with a heavy sight and leaned against Martin. 

“Come on,” Martin said. “Let’s get back to bed.”

“With pleasure.”

His muscles were aching even more and they had to walk painfully slowly. It was with much relief that he was able to sink down onto their makeshift bed before resting his head on Martin’s chest. 

“So,” John began, hesitantly. “Exactly how much did I show you?”

“A lot,” Martin replied. 

“Oh no,” John groaned as he hid his face against Martin’s chest. 

“No, it was sweet.”

“I am not sweet!”

“Sure,” Martin chuckled, rubbing a hand along John’s back. “Still, thank you. That’s the second time you’ve had to pull me out of the Lonely.”

“I’m happy to keep doing it, but if this is your way to force me to talk about my feelings, I’m going to be very upset with you.”

“I haven’t resorted to life-threatening situations for that just yet,” Martin chuckled. “I need you to know something, though.”

“What?” John asked, sitting up so he could look at him, unable to stop the ball of anxiety from forming in his stomach. 

“I love you.”

John felt like his heart skipped a beat at that, his entire body going shaky, feeling sick with nerves. He never thought anyone in their right mind would say that to him. He certainly didn’t deserve it. He’d spent much of his life pushing people away because it was easier than facing rejection. But now, here he was with Martin, who had just seen the mess that was his own mind and had somehow not been turned away. 

“I—“ John began, but Martin silenced him with a soft kiss. 

“It’s okay,” Martin said, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back.” 

“No, I know,” John said, taking a deep breath. “I want you to know.”

“I do.”

“I want to be able to say it myself, then,” John said, stubbornly. “I love you.”

It was terrifying to admit it out loud, like it made it real, made it something he could lose. But it already was both of those things. He was embarrassed by everything Martin may have learned about him when he shared his memories, but he deserved to know. John wanted him to know how completely he was in love with him. 

The smile Martin gave him was radiant, and there were tears in his eyes that John wiped away, kissing him again and lingering close, not wanting the moment to end. He was loved, and he was in love, and while that didn’t fix their situation, it was a wonder all on its own. John pulled the blankets more securely around them both to block out the chill, to block out the world, so it was just the two of them. 

[sydsaint]

My fav superhero 💜

Summary: The reader finds herself in need of a hero after Javier Bernal won't leave her alone.

You come through the curtain fresh off of a win against Indi Hartwell and feeling a bit tired. 'A nice hot shower sounds delightful right about now.' You think to yourself as you weave through the crowd of people lingering backstage. 

"Woah! Not so fast, pretty lady!" A male voice from behind stops your progress down the hall. "Go ahead and slow down for me. What's the rush, Y/N?" 

You turn around and find Javier Bernal smiling at you with a goofy look on his face. "Javier." You turn fully towards him with an annoyed look. "What do you want, Bernal?" You ask him. 

"Aw come on, don't be like that, Y/N." Bernal continues to grin at you. "I know that you're into me, babe. So you can drop the ice queen act. It's just us here." 

"Oh, well in that case." You roll your eyes and are about to tell Bernal off when someone steps to your side from behind. 

A gentle hand is placed on your arm and you glance to your side to find Axiom standing at your defense. "Something tells me that she's not into you, Amigo." Axiom stares down Bernal. Or at least, you assume he is. 

"Get lost, masked loser." Bernal scoffs and glares at Axiom. "Y/N and I were having a conversation. And it doesn't include some ugly nobody that isn't even confident enough to show his face to the world." He sneers at Axiom, confident that he's won the fight. 

"Hey! Leave him alone, Javier!" You come to Axiom's rescue. 

Axiom shakes his head and puts his hand back on your arm again. "Don't worry yourself with this idiot, Y/N." He assures you. "I've got this." 

"Ha!" Javier laughs. "What? You tryna say that you want a piece of 'Big Body Javi'?" He asks Axiom with a smug grin. 

"I am, amigo. So let's go, then." Axiom replies in a calm but serious tone. 

Javier takes a step forward but then rethinks what he's about to do. He glances at you standing silently behind Axiom and scoffs. "Whatever man, she ain't even worth it." He waves his hand dismissively at you and turns tail. 

You and Axiom watch Bernal walk off somewhere backstage before Axiom turns to face you. A small smile cracks on your face and you bounce on your heels casually. 

"Thanks for that, Axiom." You thank him. "You didn't need to intervene though. I can handle Bernal, trust me." You laugh. 

Axiom chuckles with you. "I have no doubts about that." He admits. "But just because you can handle him, doesn't mean that you should have to. I was happy to help, Mi Amore." 

A small dusting of blush heats up your face at the pet name. For once, you're the one that wishes you had the mask on. "Well, thanks again." You giggle nervously. "I'll catch you later, Axiom." You opt for a small side hug before you hurry off to the locker rooms. 

The next week you are once again heading backstage from the ring when you run into Javier again. And he's once again, back on his bullshit. 

"Y/N! You look great out there, baby." Bernal strides up to you like he didn't get knocked down a peg last week by Axiom. "Javi likes what he sees." He winks at you. 

'Oh god.' You think to yourself. 'Not again.' "Javier! What a surprise." You turn to him just to be polite. "Thanks, I guess."

Javier wastes no time in cozying up to your side, trapping you between himself and the wall. You indulge him the best that you can, but glance around for an escape route. Thankfully, Axiom walks into the room from the opposite hallway and spots you being cornered by Bernal. 

"Hey! How many times does she have to tell you to get lost?" Axiom marches over to Bernal and spins him around by the shoulder. 

"What the hell?" Javier steadies himself and looks for the source of his attack. "You again? What the hell man? Get your own girl, Lucha loser. This one is mine." He puffs his chest out at Axiom. 

Axiom wastes no time in putting himself between you and Bernal. He wedges himself between the two of you and shoves Bernal away from both of you. "You know I am getting real tired of seeing you corner every girl you see and hitting on her against her will, amigo." 

"Why don't you mind your own damn business." Javier shoves Axiom back and he stumbles back into you. 

"Hey!" You put a hand on Axiom's back to steady him. "Knock it off, Javier!" You glare at him. 

Axiom steadies himself and glances back at you to make sure that you're okay. Once he's sure that you're fine, he turns back to Javier. "That's it! You and me, ring, now!" He growls at Bernal. 

"Fine!" Javier sneers. "Have it your way then." He turns around and stomps off to the ring. But not before getting one last word in with you. "Y/N, hang back here for a few minutes babe. This won't take long." He grins at you before he leaves. 

Axiom waits for Bernal to walk off before he turns back to you. "I hope that you don't mind me taking care of this for you?" He asks you. "It's just, I can't stand that moron and the way he acts around you." 

"It's okay, I'll allow it." You joke with a small laugh. 

"Just give me a few minutes." Axiom assures you. "I'll make sure that Bernal is done bothering you. You and every other unsuspecting woman backstage." He adds. 

You nod and watch Axiom walk off with determination in his stride. Sure, you haven't a clue what he looks like. But you'll be damned if you don't think that he's majorly hot right now. 

You wait backstage and watch Axiom kick the crap out of Javier and send Bernal packing. Once the match is over you head out to the ring and meet Axiom on the apron. "That was some show." You smile up at him. "Thank you for that." 

"My pleasure, Mi Amore." Axiom replies in a sweet tone. 

You look up at him with a small hint of a frown. "You know, if it weren't for that mask, I'd totally kiss you right now." You inform him. 

"Then lay one on me, Mi Amore." Axiom leans down from the apron. 

"What? Through the mask?" You giggle at his antics. 

Axiom seemingly wastes no time in tossing his legs over the top rope and hanging upside down from them. "How about now?" He taunts you. "Just slide the mask down a bit." 

Your heart skips a beat and you laugh. "Okay, Spiderman." You step forward and roll down his mask just enough to uncover his mouth and nose. 

You get to see the grin on his face this time before you close the gap between the two of you and kiss him. You briefly forget that you're standing in the middle of the arena in front of all these fans. But the crowd shouting and cheering reminds you of that fact. Not that you care when you've got your superhero to smooch. 

[ariyacl]

She rolled her eyes at his response. If she didn’t love him so much, she would find him annoying. How was it possible for a man to be so in-tuned with her needs? Yet here they were. “Well, maybe you should be less yourself.” Ari grumbled, but there was no real heat behind her words. Another wave of nausea hit her, causing her to winced in discomfort. “I don’t always look beautiful…” she mumbled. “I don’t think tired makes me throw up or cry, baby.” She scrunched her nose, shaking her head, “It’s not cute.” Despite her protests, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. “See, now you’ve made me cry. Are you happy now?” Feeling vulnerable sucked, but with Pearce, it felt okay at least.

Pearce Callahan.

he was always a little worried that he was going to end up pushing or scaring the other away. Regardless of the things he did, she still wanted him around pretty regularly and he was thankful for that, especially since he was completely in love with her. He chuckled, “I don’t know how possible that is but I’ll keep that in mind.” He replied with a shake of his head. “I think you do but I am slightly bias.” He added. As she went on to say what may or may be the cause of her issue, his brain connected the dots for a few moments. “No but,” he cleared his throat, “do you, I mean, have you had your period lately?” He wasn’t trying to freak her out but with the amount of time the two spent in bed together, he assumed that could very well be a valid possibility.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Who knew love could make you get so needy? Before Pearce, she would never want to be anyone while she was sick, but not now. Now, she wanted him around. "You're such a goof," she said to him, clearly teasing. She stared at him, her eyes widening as his words sank in. Her period? When was the last time she had it? Ari's mind raced, trying to remember. "I can’t remember," she mumbled, feeling panicked. How long has it been? She got her period last month, right? No… She was on birth control. Could she really be pregnant? The idea of having a baby terrified her. "I guess it's possible, but I’ve never missed my birth control shots." she reached, reaching for his hand. "Do you really think that’s it? I’m pregnant?" She held her breath. A bout of nausea hit right then and she ran out of bed, barely making it to the toilet.

Pearce Callahan.

the last thing that he wanted to do was make her panic or worry but what else would make her this way? Despite them both being completely different doctors, far from anything that dealt with babies, he still felt as though those symptoms were likely. “I mean, I just think it could be a possibility…” he spoke and before he could say much more, she was running toward the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. He took in a deep breath and followed her with his phone in hand and added a couple of tests to his cart before sending his order and attempting to be there for her. He knelt down, hand gathering her hair. “We can figure this out.”

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ari wasn’t ready to be a mom. She had no motherly bone in her body. How was she expected to care for a baby? She’d be a horrible mom, right? Not that she could focus on that now as she heaved and expelled the little contents in her stomach. “Oh God,” she groaned, resting her forehead against the cool porcelain. Panic and fear took over. A baby? Now? With her career just taking off? She wasn’t prepared for this. She felt Pearce’s hand on her back, comforting her. Despite feeling miserable, she was thankful he was there. Once she stopped, she leaned back against him—exhausted and scared. “I can’t be pregnant,” she whispered. “We’ve been so careful. I’m not cut out to be a parent.” When the nausea returned, closed her eyes and puked again. After a moment, she leaned against the toilet and said, “I feel like I’m at death’s door.”

Pearce Callahan.

he knew that this was early in their relationship to be thinking about kids. in fact, he wasn't even sure that he was cut out to have them. pearce was…well, older and he assumed that since he hadn't managed to have kids at this point then he wasn't supposed to have them at all. so, he was having mixed feelings about all of this. even so, he put on a brave face and supported his girlfriend through all of this. "i know, baby. i ordered some tests with everything else so we'll find out soon and we can figure things out. i won't let you go through any of this alone."

Ariya Chakri-Langley

She felt awful. The nausea wouldn't let up, and now Pearce had planted this terrifying idea in her head. A baby? Her? She could barely keep a plant alive. Ari groaned, leaning against the cool bathroom tiles. "Tests? Oh god, you're serious about this," Ari mumbled, her stomach churning again. The thought of a tiny human depending on her made her want to throw up all over again. But as scared as she was, at least Pearce was being supportive—even though this must be freaking him out too. "Thank you for being here. I don't know what I'd do without you." Her eyes welled up with tears. Damn hormones—if that's what this was. "I don't know the first thing about being a mom. I'm not nurturing or maternal at all. I'd probably mess the kid up for life." She closed her eyes, trying to will away another wave of nausea. "Can you just hold me for a bit?" But first she needed to get off the floor.

Pearce Callahan.

guilt filled his body after he spoke. The last thing that he meant to do was stress ariya out but he very well assumed that it could be a possibility, even if it wasn’t something that the two of them were ready for. “I just think we should be sure. I could be wrong, my love.” He spoke in a soft tone. He was trying to stay as calm as possible but he wasn’t sure how well he was doing. “You really thought I’d leave? I’m not going anywhere.” He promised. If there was one thing about Pearce, it was gang he was dependable. “Let’s not stress about that until we find out for sure. I, well, I think I’m a bit too old to be a father at this point.” He admitted and took in a deep breath, his hand rubbing over her back in a soothing manner. “Do you think you can make it back to bed?”

Ariya Chakri-Langley

“Don’t be sorry. You were speaking your mind.” His suspicion could be right, and for all they knew she could be pregnant. How could she be mad at him for doing that? She gave a weak nod, feeling dizzy from the action. “Yeah, I think I can make it back to bed,” she mumbled, reaching for his hand. Her knees wobbled as he helped her up, leaning on him like a crutch. “Shut up. You’re not too old. You’d be an amazing dad. I’m the problem. Not you.” Back in bed, Ari snuggled up to Pearce, seeking his comfort. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess right now,” she whispered into his chest. “Thank you for being here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her nausea. Thinking about the situation had her mind going stir crazy. It wasn’t fair to Pearce for her to freak out on him like this. He’d been good to her.

Pearce Callahan.

if he could do anything, he figured the least he could do was be there for her and provide her with what she needed in order to get down to her illness. he helped her up and took her back to bed, a small chuckle leaving his lips as his hand rubbed over her back. "i'm afraid i am a bit old but older people have had babies." and he would be by ariya's side no matter the results. he climbed into bed with her, arm coming around her and kissing the top of her head, "you're never going to have to find out. you're my girl and i'm not going anywhere. why don't we put on a movie, hm? get our minds off of everything?"

Ariya Chakri-Langley

She snuggled closer to Pearce, feeling better with him there. Her nausea eased a bit, but thoughts of pregnancy still swirled in her head. "Stop worrying about your age, baby. You're not old. Besides, if you're old, then you're the hottest old man I know. To add to that, you will be a great dad." Ari wasn’t sure why he was nervous for. He was a great guy, and his caring heart would make him an even better dad. "A movie sounds nice," she mumbled, snuggling even closer. "Maybe something light? I don't think I can handle anything too intense right now." She paused. "And yeah, we should probably get a test. Just to be sure." She bit her lip. "Can we wait until tomorrow though? I don't think I’m up for any more surprises today." She looked at him, worried. "I'm scared, Pearce. What if I am pregnant? I don't know if I'm ready for that." Her voice shook. "But if I am, I'm glad it's with you."

Pearce Callahan.

he couldn’t help but laugh at her words. “Well, your opinion is the only one that matters to me anyways.” The man reassured and kissed the top of her head. “Sure. I’ll put on a classic. The breakfast club will do, hmm?” He knew it wasn’t anything that would stress either of them out. “I…added the tears to the order I placed for delivery but you don’t have to take them until tomorrow. Don’t feel pressured. I just wanted to have them just in case.” His hand rubbed against her back. This certainly wasn’t an expected turn of events but who knew if she was pregnant. “If you’re not ready, I’m not going to force you, you know that right? I mean, we’d figure it out.” He reassured, eyes meeting hers. If she decided this wasn’t something she wanted, he support her. He wasn’t sure he was ready either but he didn’t want to stress himself out about that though, not now.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

The idea of having a baby terrified her, but she knew deep down she couldn't terminate if she was pregnant. It would be selfish, especially since Pearce would be involved. Ari wasn't heartless, and hurting him was the last thing she wanted. "Damn right," she said with a weak smile, "Sounds perfect." It wasn't like they would be paying attention anyway. Her stomach churned again, and she groaned softly. "The Breakfast Club is a good choice. Nothing too heavy. Thanks for getting the tests. I'm not ready to know yet, but having them here is good. I know you wouldn't force me into anything. That's one of the things I love about you." She took a shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves. "If I am pregnant, we'll figure it out together. We’re both doctors. It shouldn’t be that hard raising a baby, right?" A mixture of uncertainty and affection filled her gaze as their eyes met. "Can you just hold me for a while? You always make me feel better."

Pearce Callahan.

he knew that their relationship was new and even so, he loved her and he couldn’t imagine spending his life with anyone else. He couldn’t help but hope that the other felt the same about him. He turned on the movie once she agreed and nodded his head, “of course. It takes two to tango. It’s not as though you did it all your own and I want to be here for you any way I can be.” Even if it was something as simple as getting the tests. He felt a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as she spoke, “right. We can figure things out if it comes to that but for right now,” his arms tugged her closer, “let’s not worry about it. Let’s just relax. You need the rest anyways.” He reassured, hand rubbing soothing circle against her back. This certainly wasn’t a situation that he thought he would land himself in but even so, if it were going to happen then he was glad that it was happening with ariya.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

She snuggled closer to Pearce, grateful for his comforting embrace. The nausea subsided a bit as she relaxed against him, his steady heartbeat soothing her frayed nerves. "You're a good man, babe." And she meant that. Most men would have run off by now. Not only was she not the greatest with holding her tongue, she was probably going to be a horrible mother too. But here he was, solid and dependable. "I don't know how you put up with me," she mumbled into his chest. "I'm a mess right now and you're still here. Thank you for that." She tilted her head up to look at him, a small smile on her pale face. Her hand found his, their fingers intertwining. "But if anyone could figure it out with me, it's you. You're already so good at taking care of people." She let out a sigh. "I'm glad you're here. I don't think I could handle this alone." The movie played in the background, but she barely registered it. Her mind was racing with possibilities, fears, and a tiny spark of hope. Whatever happened, at least she had Pearce by her side.

Pearce Callahan.

as long as his girlfriend needed him, he wasn’t going anywhere. Pearce had to admit that despite the seriousness of the situation, he was comfortable. Comfortable enough to doze off for a few moments until the ring of the doorbell indicating the delivery was there woke him up. Taking in a deep breath, he placed a kiss on her forehead and got up before grabbing the delivery and carrying one of the gatorades back to the room after placing the rest in the fridge. “I hope this helps you. Is there anything else you need? You know I’m not going anywhere as long as you need me.”

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ari felt relieved when Pearce came back with the Gatorade. Her stomach still felt off, but her queasiness was going away at least. She should be able to hold down Gatorade at least… “Thank you,” she said, taking small sips. It felt nice going down her dry throat. “I’m okay,” she told him, though she wasn’t really sure. “But I think I should take the test.” Without waiting for him to say anything, she got up and went to the bathroom, with unsteady legs. A few minutes later, she came out holding the test. Her face was white, and her hands shook a little as she held it out to him. “You look,” she said, so quietly she could barely hear her own voice. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. Did she want to be pregnant or not? Ideally people waited until they got married before they had children, but there were in 2024 now, stranger things have happened.

Pearce Callahan.

he didn’t want to pressure her to take the test but when she grabbed it before he could really say much more and went into the bathroom, he allowed her to do just that. Pearce took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of her bed. What if she was pregnant? He wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole ordeal but at least it was with ariya. Looking at her as she came out, his eyebrows raised. The way she looked made him think that she’d already looked but when she told him to look, he nodded. He could do that much right? He slowly took the test, eyes landing on the results and a breath leaving his lips. He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not, “it’s negative.” He announced and peered back up at her.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ariya was on pins and needles as she watched Pearce look at the test results. The moment he mentioned that it was negative, she felt a blend of relief and disappointment wash over her. “Oh,” she muttered. “That’s good, right? We don’t want to have a baby right now.” The words came out, but she wasn’t sure if she meant them. For a second, she’d pictured a kid with Pearce’s eyes and her sass, and she was mildly disappointed. “I guess we dodged a bullet there,” she added with a weak laugh before laying back down next to Pearce on the bed, where she leaned on him. “Do you think it’s just the flu? Or could it be something else?” she asked, her doctor brain kicking in. “I’ve never felt this sick before.” She shut her eyes, wishing the nausea would go away. Except she had when she had Kawasaki disease. But that couldn’t be what was going on. It mostly happened to children. Unless…she was the few unlucky ones. She couldn’t have, right? No… She refused to believe that.

Pearce Callahan.

he wasn’t sure how he felt about the results of the test. Pearce did feel like he was a little old to have a baby but even so, he would do it with Ariya. In fact, he wanted things with ariya that he hadn’t wanted before. He didn’t think or want to get married after what happened with his last wife but now, he could see himself marrying ariya. “I guess so.” He replied and moved his arm around her, lips pressing against the top of her head. “I’m sorry, baby. Do you want to go to the hospital? Maybe getting some IV fluids might make you feel better. You may just be really dehydrated.” He spoke, his hand rubbing over her back once again. He didn’t know what was going on but regardless, he was going to be by her side the entire time. He loved her.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ari felt silly for being sad about not being pregnant. It wasn't the right time, after all. But a nagging thought crept into her mind—would Pearce still want her if she didn't want children? She pushed the thought away, focusing on how awful she felt. "You're right, I hadn't even thought about being dehydrated," she mumbled, realizing he had a point. Her mouth felt like sandpaper. "Yeah, I think I should go to the hospital." She tried to sit up but immediately regretted it as another wave of nausea hit her. Groaning, she leaned back against Pearce. "I don't think I can make it to the car on my own," she admitted reluctantly. “Can you give me a hand?” She hated this. Feeling like she was useless. It should never be the case, yet here they were. This episode brought back memories of her time in the hospital and she hated it.

Pearce Callahan.

regardless of whatever happened, kids or not, Pearce was sure that he was completely in love with her and that he wouldn’t want to spend his life by anyone else’s side. He watched as she attempted to get up and nodded as she asked for help. He got up and took her hands, slowly pulling her up. “Come on, we can take my car.” He breathed out and slowly pulled her toward the door. He’d never seen her like this and the longer this all went on, the more worried Pearce was about what was really going on.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

She groaned as Pearce helped her up, her legs wobbling beneath her. “Thanks,” she mumbled, leaning heavily against him. The room spun as they made their way to the door. She felt pathetic, needing so much help, but she was grateful for Pearce’s steady presence.

In the car, she curled up in the passenger seat, her head resting against the cool window. “I’m sorry about this,” she said faintly, her eyes drooping. The gentle motion of the car lulled her into a fitful sleep.

At the hospital, a nurse approached them. “Ma’am, do you want your friend to stay with you?”

“Yes, he’s my boyfriend,” Ari replied weakly, clutching Pearce’s hand.

As they settled into an exam room, Dr. Mandy Chen walked in. “Ariya, what brings you here?” she asked, clearly surprised to see her colleague as a patient.

“I’ve been having flu symptoms,” Ari explained, her voice hoarse. “Nausea, vomiting, fatigue.”

Mandy nodded, making notes. “Any chance you could be pregnant?”

“No, I took a test. It was negative,” Ari said, shaking her head.

“Alright, we’ll do another test to be sure and check for flu as well. You hang in there,” Mandy said reassuringly.

Mandy's touch was as her fingers probed the areas around her neck and jaw. A flicker of concern crossed her colleague’s face, causing her stomach to tighten.

"Your lymph nodes are swollen," Mandy stated and paused for a moment, her gaze meeting hers. "You had Kawasaki disease during your childhood?"

“Yeah.” Ari said, “What’s wrong?”

“It might be nothing, but you hang tight. I’m going to run some tests.” Mandy said before standing up and leaving the room.

Ari’s heart thundered as her attention settled on Pearce. “Babe…” she said, her brows furrowed.

Pearce Callahan.

"please don't apologize." he spoke. the man was always going to be there for his girlfriend, especially in times where she needed someone there for her.

once they were there, he helped her inside and waited until the nurse approached them. he didn't want to assume that he'd want her back with her and so, he waited to see what ariya would say. once she gave him the okay, they made their ways into a room.

he squeezed her hand as the doctor came in, his thumbs rubbing the back of her hand in a comforting manner. he knew she was worried, even more so when she felt on her neck. pearce didn't know what that look meant, but he wasn't sure it was anything good.

pearce lifted her hand to his lips once they were alone again and shook his head, "i know. i'm not going anywhere and i'm sure it's nothing. don't worry, my love. i'm sure it's nothing." at least, that's what he hoped. he couldn't lose her. he wouldn't lose her.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Her mind raced as she lay on the hospital bed, her hand clutching Pearce's tightly. The symptoms, the fatigue, the nausea—it all pointed to one terrifying possibility. Kawasaki disease. Again. But she pushed that thought away, knowing better than to jump to conclusions without proper tests.

"I believe you," she said softly to Pearce, though doubt gnawed at her. She wanted desperately to believe everything would be fine, but the doctor in her knew better.

They waited for what felt like an eternity. Ariya's stomach churned with each passing minute. When Mandy finally returned, looking grim, Ari's heart sank.

"I have it, don't I?" she blurted out before Mandy could speak.

Mandy nodded solemnly. "Yes. You do. I'm sorry."

"But are you sure? It could just be flu," Ari protested weakly.

"We're certain," Mandy explained. "Your blood work shows elevated inflammatory markers consistent with Kawasaki disease. The echocardiogram also revealed some coronary artery dilation."

The color drained from Ariya's face as the diagnosis sank in. Her throat tightened painfully as she forced out the question she dreaded most: "My heart. Is it damaged?"

She gripped Pearce's hand even tighter, bracing herself for the answer. The fear of losing everything she'd worked so hard for—her career, her relationship, her life—crashed over her like a tidal wave.

“We’d have to run tests, but I’m hopeful that we’ve caught this early enough. If there is damage, it shouldn’t be major.”

Ari was speechless. Even after Mandy left, all she could do was stare at the walls.

Pearce Callahan.

the results of the tests and the confirmation that his girlfriend was ill again made his heart drop into his stomach. he didn't know much about the disease but he remembered her mentioning something about her heart and that's where her scar had come from. what was he supposed to do now? he couldn't lose her, not now. not when he loved her the way she did.

his eyes looked over at ariya once the two of them were left alone again and he brought her hands to his lips, kissing against her skin. "i'm so sorry, baby. i'm here though. we can get through this together." after all, there was no way that pearce was going to leave her to face all of this on her own. that just wasn't who he was. "i mean, there are treatments, aren't there? she said she thinks they caught it early. that's a good sign, right?"

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ariya stared at Pearce, her mind reeling from the news. This couldn't be happening. Not again. She shook her head in disbelief, her voice barely audible. "Kawasaki disease? But… that's impossible. It's a childhood illness. I already had it." But even as the words left her mouth, she knew better. As a doctor, she understood the cruel reality—while rare, recurrence was possible. The knowledge did nothing to ease the panic rising in her chest. Memories of her childhood flooded back—endless hospital stays, the constant fear, the pain. She couldn't go through that again. She just couldn't.

Her eyes met his, and she saw the worry and love behind them. God, she loved him so much. But she couldn't drag him into this nightmare. He deserved better than a sick girlfriend who might not survive. "There are treatments," she said hollowly, answering his question. "But there are side effects…" She trailed off, remembering the misery of her past treatments. She squeezed his hand. "Pearce, I can't ask you to go through this with me. It's going to be awful. You should get out now, while you still can."

Pearce Callahan.

he knew that this was a lot for her to take in. It was a lot for him to take in too but he was trying to stay strong, trying to put on a brave face so that she knew that she could lean on him through all of this. “What kinds of side effects?” He was already making mental notes on doing his own research when he was alone. He needed to know how to best support her and if there was anything at all he could do to help, he needed to know.

His brows furrowed in response to what she said next.”you’re not asking me. I’m going to be here regardless. I can’t let you go through this all by yourself. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you to go all of this on your own?” Not a very good one, he’d say.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ari sighed, her body feeling heavy with exhaustion and worry. “The side effects can be pretty rough,” she explained, her voice weak. “Nausea, vomiting, fever, joint pain—and that’s just the start. The steroids gives me mood swings, and weaken my immune system. There’s also a risk of blood clots and my heart might fail again.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s going to be a long, difficult road.” His words really touched her, but in the same breath, it made her feel guilty. She was grateful beyond words that he wanted to stay, but the thought of putting him through this ordeal made her chest ache.

“Pearce, you’re amazing. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said, squeezing his hand. “But this isn’t what you signed up for. It’s not fair to expect you to be my caretaker. You deserve a normal life, not endless hospital visits and worrying if I’ll make it through the night.” She gazed at him, love and sadness in her eyes. “I love you so much. That’s why I can’t ask you to sacrifice everything for me. It’s too much to ask of anyone, let alone someone as wonderful as you.”

Pearce Callahan.

his brows furrowed in her direction, “ariya, I’m not asking for your permission to be by your side during all of this. I’m sorry but I’m going to be here. You can’t face all of this on your own.” Sure, she was right. None of this what he signed up for but he loved her and what kind of partner would he be if he left her when she needed him most? Not a good one, that’s for sure. “I can handle this. I promise. None of this is going to make me love you any less. I’m going to help you get through this. We’re going to do this together.” He fully expected her to fight him on it. After all, she was stubborn as hell and had a mouth on her but even so, those were reasons he managed to fall in love with her the way that he did.

Ariya Chakri-Langley

She felt her heart clench at his words. Damn him for being so stubborn and wonderful. Part of her wanted to give in—to let him take care of her and face this together. But the larger part—the part that had been through hell and back—knew better. "Yes, I can and I want to. I don't want you to watch me deteriorate. I'm not yours to take care of," she said stubbornly. Her voice was weak, but her resolve was strong. She turned her head away, unable to look at him. "You don't understand, Pearce. This isn't just a few hospital visits. It's months, maybe years, of pain and suffering. I’m not going to be the woman you fall in love with." She paused, swallowing hard. "I can't ask you to put your life on hold for me. It's not fair." She looked back at him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "You’ll hate me, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.”

Pearce Callahan.

“you are mine to take care of. You’re my girlfriend and I love you. I’m not going anywhere, damn it.” Pearce said, finishing with a huff. He knew she wasn’t going to let this go easily but even so, he wasn’t either. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone and he wasn’t going to leave her just because she was sick. “And I’m willing to be here with you through all of it. Stop trying to push me away when I’m trying to be here for you. You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.” And still, he wouldn’t choose anyone else to be by his side. He moved his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head, “I could never hate you. It would be stupid of me to hate you over something that’s not your fault.0

Ariya Chakri-Langley

Ari felt her frustration rising, even as her body ached. She wanted to scream at him, to make him understand that this wasn’t some romantic movie where love conquered all. This was real life, and it sucked. “You don’t get it, do you?” she snapped. “I’m not pushing you away because I want to. I’m doing it because I have to.” She closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “You say you love me now, but what about when I’m in and out of hospitals? When I can’t work? When I’m too sick to even get out of bed?” She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. “I’ve been through this before. It’s not pretty. It’s not romantic. It’s hell, and I can’t bear the thought of you resenting me for it.” She tried to sit up, but a wave of nausea hit her, and she fell back against the pillows. “Damn it. I hate this. I hate feeling weak. I hate that you’re seeing me like this.” She turned her head away, unable to look at him. “You should go. Please. Just go. I’ll be fine on my own. I always have been.” But even as she said the words, she knew she didn’t want him to leave. She was terrified of facing this alone again. Yet she was equally terrified of him staying and watching her fall apart.

Pearce Callahan.

he knew that she was upset but the last thing that he expected was for her to snap at him. Pearce furrowed his brows as he let go of her hand and stood up, his heart clenching in his chest. “I know it’s not a movie, ariya. I’m not doing this because I think it’s romantic. I’m not doing this to make it seem like I’m some Prince Charming. I’m doing this because regardless of what may happen, I love you and when you love someone, you’re there for them through anything and everything.” He paused and stepped toward the door, shaking his heard at the fact that his voice cracked. “I’ll give you space but I can promise you know I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be in the car when you’re done here and I’ll take you home. Just remember, you can’t keep pushing people away.” And with that, he stepped out of the room and left her to wait in the car.

COMPLETED

he chuckled and held his hands up in a surrender motion, “I’m just being myself.” He reassured and brought his attention back down to his phone so that he could add the crackers she requested. The trash can too. Once he heard the emotion in her voice, his head turned back to her and he looked at the woman in an affectionate manner. “Ariya, I’m just being honest. You are beautiful. Are you sure you’re not over tired? You sure are emotional right now. Not that I mind. I find it to be pretty cute.”

[boogiewrites]

Seeing Stars Pt. 17

Eddie tries a manifestation ritual and it goes eerily well. Star is impressed and a little concerned with how connected they are. It leads to a very intimate encounter in Eddie's shower. Star is on a trauma-healing journey, researching how to help her overcome her past. Eddie offers a distraction, but she finds she's not as over the past as she thought.

TW/CW: NSFW: Sexual Content. Panic attack from PTSD flashbacks of SA/non-con (not described in detail) in the second part of the chapter. Then hurt/comfort. Shower sex. P in V unprotected, oral- m receiving, fingering, use of pet names (baby especially) romantic, loving, intense connective sex. Falling in love. Descriptions of meditation and visions. Magical connections.

Part 1 if you missed it!

Star sat on her bed, legs crossed and eyes closed. The dusk light came through the warm-toned curtains and washed the room in golden light. This was her favorite time to meditate. Incense burned and the smoke slithered up before dissipating into nothing. She stared at the swirling gray. A handmade clay burner caught the ash as it fell, landing into a bowl of salt. Star was distracted, the same thing kept popping into her mind as she tried to clear it. Eddie. She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose before trying again. She wore one of Eddie’s t-shirts, supremely soft and fitting her perfectly. His smell still lingered on the cotton and bloomed with every movement. She wore only the rose quartz pendant he gave her around her neck. She'd barely taken it off since he gave it to her. Her arms and hands were naked, and only Eddie’s gift hung around her neck, resting against her chest. And she wondered why she couldn’t stop thinking about him. He’s infiltrated her life in so many quiet ways she didn’t even notice it.

“Fine, we’ll meditate about Eddie.” She muttered, annoyed, at her altar. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, murmuring out “Eddie.” until he filled her brain. She could imagine him so clearly, his messy waves around a soft, handsome face. His eyes were bright and his smile wide as he laughed. He took a deep breath and looked serene. A hand ran through his hair as he said her name. Her smile was now a reflex involuntary where he was concerned. He closed his eyes, seemingly reclined back, and sighed.

“Star?” It was a question but she didn’t know how to answer. “Star.” A shift in tone, with nothing else added. He begins to look flushed, and a bit uncomfortable. He flinched his lip into a snarl, his shoulders shifting. His chin tilted back, a vein traceable on his neck as his hair fell away. He swallowed hard, brow low. He held an unknown tension in his body and she felt her chest flutter. She wanted to know what was wrong. She didn’t like it when he wasn’t happy. She couldn’t stand it. It hit her strong, a wave of desperation as she silently begged to help him. With a sharp inhale his eyes opened and met hers. He said her name again.

“What?” Slipped from between her lips in real life, calling out to the ether.

He looked confused at first, it quickly passed as his eyes went soft, a smile of the same description on his face.

“Oh, Star.” He sighed. “When are you gonna learn?” He looked away and sat back comfortably against the blackness of the inner mind's vision. “Can’t get you out of my head, either. I try sometimes. Do you try?” He seemed to talk to no one in particular with his closed eyes. “Can you when you do? I can’t.” His voice was breathy and light. “If you were here would I ask you? Would I tell you? Or would I just…” he groaned and bit his lip. It grabbed Star's sacred space and lit it on fire. She audibly moaned, her mouth fell open and it escaped her without warning. “God dammit I need you so bad.” He whispered. Heat rose in her throat, her heart picked up its pace. An out-of-place sigh left his chest. “What the hell am I even doing?” He seemed amused. “What was this supposed to do?” He ran a hand down his face and she saw he was dripping with water. “Do I do all this and think about you and you’ll just… appear? Come take away all my problems. You could. They’re all you.” He grinned. She didn’t feel any bad will towards her, only the deepening urge to connect to him. Her chest ached and she put a hand to it. She’d never felt this before. She’d never been in pain like this. She whimpered and he opened his eyes again. “Can you… can you feel it too? Can you feel me?” He asked, still looking away. She felt it again, electricity at first, a fuzz of static and dizziness that warped a lap in her skull and then walloped her in the chest, her heart hit her gut and all the blood rushed to her most intimate places. “God, Star you don’t even know do you?” The tiniest inkling in his voice felt like a knife in her chest. “You’ve gotta know, baby. I feel it. You’ve got to feel it.” He ground the word out through clenched teeth and she jolted her eyes open, hands slapping to the bed and a whimper falling out of her trembling lips. She looked down at her chest to make sure someone hadn’t stabbed her. She worried for a moment she was having a heart attack. “Star?” She heard his voice echo in her head and she held tight to the charm around her neck.

“Eddie?” She rasped out, looking in the direction of his trailer.

“Baby, come here.” Another groan and the gravel-filled words made her hips buck. She felt commanded. She threw her feet to the floor, sitting up and breathing heavily. Her eyes darted around looking for a divining tool. Her rocks were put away, but a die sat out, possibly left by Eddie on her bedside table. She smiled at the sight, the mere thought of him.

“Alright, we’ll play it your way. 1-20. No to Yes.” She whispered to it in her hands before she rolled it onto the bed. “Oh fuck off.” She swatted it off the bed. She stared it down, on the floor, showing a 20 again. “Fuck all the way off!” She said loudly, but she was already reaching for her keys. She could feel her guides laughing at her.

Eddie was in the shower, his head to the plastic built-in shower/tub wall. He sighed and let the water wash over his back, getting the last of the oils off his skin. He hung his mouth open to fountain out water and rub his face.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be so… involved in all this.” He grumbled and looked down at his twitching cock. “Should’ve known.” He rolled his eyes at himself. He made a noise of annoyance when he felt a heavy throb of blood rush into him, making his lips roll together and his eyes shut for a moment. He didn’t remember feeling this compulsively horny since puberty first hit him. “What is it, boy?” He asked and chuckled to himself. He rubbed his feet along the textured bottom of the tub, checking that it was no longer slick. Maybe he should just jerk off, he concluded. It’d been a few days and he was bursting at the seams it felt. Star had mentioned saving up his energy before doing spell work so he’d tried it. He didn't expect it to work. At all. And certainly not so immediately and literally. So when Star was the face that peeked from behind the bathroom door, he stared at her like he’d seen a ghost.

He knew the trailer was locked, so he wasn't immediately scared for his life when the door began to open. It could’ve only been two people, Wayne and Star were the only ones with keys. Explaining the plethora of pagan paraphernalia in the bathroom would’ve been a little awkward if it’d been Wayne. But Star's eyes went wide as soon as she saw it all. She knew he’d been doing something.

They stood in silence. Only the shower running filled the audial space, humidity taking up the rest with steam. A sliver of Eddie, dripping wet and naked, glistening and soft to the touch from the herbs and oils he’d just soaked in was visible from the peeled-back shower curtain. The longer they looked at each other, the more intense it felt. It was a confusing mix of excitement and worry. His cock jumped to break the tension, diverting his gaze for a moment. Her eyes went to it too.

“I-uh…” he began before looking back up at her, now standing in front of a closed door. His hands fidgeted in front of his chest giving away his worry.

“You were…” her voice was unnaturally breathy as if she’d worn herself out. “Holy shit.” She whispered, piecing together the potential of what could’ve just happened between them.

“Yeah.” He answered softly, it felt like she knew he had been thinking about her.

“Eddie.” Her tone shifted, she was so impressed, for many reasons. A smile grew on her face before behind hindered by a bitten lip. She started taking her clothes off without another word.

“Star?” He gawked and watched her reveal her soft body piece by piece. He said it so tenderly, in awe of her appearance both visually and emotionally.

She walked toward the tub and he pulled back the curtain with no second thought behind it. He stood with the shower head on his back, already soaked through and rivulets falling from his curls.

“You wanted me here?” She asked, the water lightly spraying off his body and onto hers. She put her hands to his chest, slowly splaying her fingers out over the pale expanse of it.

“You knew?” He already had the answer but this was too intense for him not to ask.

“I felt you.” A whispered and awe-struck answer he trembled at. “I saw you when I was meditating. ” She gazed up lovingly at him, overwhelmed by the many feelings she had about the situation at hand.

“You did?” His posture was relaxed under her touch, his head leaning into her to be closer.

“Yeah. I had to come see you. I… fuck.” She sighed and bit her lip. “Eddie… “ it was on the verge of a laugh of disbelief. “I’ve never had this happen before.” She shook her head and put her hands on his wet face. His lashes were black and long, dark eyes were framed with a flare. “I’ve never… felt so connected to someone before.” She confessed and the puppy eyes were back in full force. “I didn’t know I could channel someone”. She added desperately as he moved to wrap his body around hers.

“I didn’t either.” He confessed lips to lips. “I did the ritual bath like you said. I started thinking about what I wanted. I thought about you.”

“I saw your face, I could hear you.” She glimpsed away from his intense stare, she was feeling overwhelmed.

“You could-what now?” His heart kept to his throat for an instant. He dug through his mind for what he’d said like digging through a pile of dirty laundry for a single specific shirt.

“I heard you say my name. You said you were thinking about me. Then something about wanting me. You asked if I could feel you.” She looked back to find his eyes curious and searching. “And I could. It hurt. It was in my chest and my…” she looked down and he got her hint. “Like my heart and my pussy were on fire.” Her face was serious. “I called out to you when you said my name.”

“You did.” It wasn’t a question. He thought it was her voice floating around his mind like it always did.

“You called me baby.” The softness in her face made his heart thump. Her eyes were sweet and her smile sickeningly so. He was compelled to kiss her. He took her as softly and sweetly as the pet name was. “Something about the way you said it, though.” She dropped her voice to a whisper as if the thought escaped on accident.

“What was it?” He audibly gulped.

“It’s like I had no choice. I had to come to you. It was so intense.”

“It is.” He nodded, the tension cleaner in his voice. Had she felt that he loved her? She said it hurt and set her on fire. He didn’t know if that was good. He knew it hurt him to love her sometimes. He hadn’t meant to share that. He hadn’t meant to do any of this.

“I’ve never heard your voice so powerful before.” she shivered at the thought of the gritty growl. “It sounded so sweet at first. Calling me baby. So soft. The softest thing I’ve ever felt.” She sighed contently and touched his face with her fingertips. She nuzzled her nose to his chin as he loomed over her in his arms.

“Can I call you that?” He asked timidly. She blink as if she hadn’t considered it. It felt, intimate. It felt soft in a way she hadn’t experienced before. She didn’t understand why it made her feel small but she knew it felt good.

“Yeah.” She answered. He finally inhaled after unknowingly holding his breath for her response. “Yeah, you can.” She gave a small nod and he gave a small kiss in response. “I don’t-" she held her mouth open and hesitated. Her bangs were sticking to her forehead, her front now wet from being pressed against him. “I don’t know what it is but when you say certain things. Certain words. And sometimes they don’t do anything at all. But sometimes… sometimes they make me feel… deeply and I don’t understand it.”

“Like what?”

“When you called me baby. Baby, come here, you said. I made up my mind and I left. I didn’t think about it much at all. And I overthink everything.” She was feeding Eddie what he wanted to hear. Was he finally getting through to her? She was so close to understanding.

“I want you almost all the time.” He confessed, his nose brushing hers. “Do you like to hear me say it?” He tried to pinpoint what made her react so strongly. He wanted to duplicate it and bottle it and keep it to use forever.

“I do. I did. You were so raw when you said it. You didn’t know I could hear.” She smiled up at him. “It was so sexy it burned.” Her eyes narrowed as she said burned, feeling the heat between them again. Felt it in his eyes when he looked at her, despite the brown darkness it was like they flickered with an amber red at times like these.

“And baby?” He said with intention. Just like she’d told him to. He held her face, gentle and warm from the shower to hold her attention and study every micro-expression he caused. Baby was the winner. Her eyes were unfocused for a split second, and her chest rose and fell. “It’s baby, isn’t it? That’s the magic word.” He’s never used the word magic and meant it before. She looked at his mouth to watch him speak with rapt attention. She gulped, lips finally closing for her to nod ever so subtly. “Star. Baby.” The words were a spell as they left his full lips. They were inhaled by her and seeped inside to take over her figurative heart. “You feel it when I say it don’t you? Like you mentioned earlier?” He was a breath away from condescending but not quite there. He meant it but he also felt her sag against him and her chest stutter as he tried to see directly into her soul through her eyes. She could only nod in reply. He’d taken all thoughts out of her and let only him in their place.

“So much.” She whimpered out, her eyes giving away how overwhelmed she felt. “It’s…” she put her hand to her chest. Her brow furrowed for a moment. “It’s so much?” He knew the crack in her voice, he’d felt it when he realized he was falling for her. She was still confused. He saw the hesitation and concern in her eyes.

“It’s supposed to be, baby.” He soothed her, bringing his mouth to hers to capture the moment and keep it pure. She whined into his mouth, he kept her against him with lean, tattooed arms. At first, she submitted too much, taking a moment to be dazed by him. They kissed like waves washing up on shore. Steady, calm, some splash and a brief pause between rhythmic beats.

Star was dizzy, she didn’t know how he was so powerful. She felt weak in his arms but he made it feel so damn good she didn’t have it in her to want it to stop. She wanted to know what gave him this ability and how she could get it. She was envious of him, making her feel something she never had before. She didn’t know how he did it but she wanted more. She surged forward, the initial overwhelm surpassed by the hunger for more. The rest of her body soon matched his with a sheen of water across it from his hands roaming trying every way they could to pull her close. He pushed her against the wall of the shower, a gasp at the cold to her back before it was taken away by his hands. She put her leg around him, painted toes, still a happy bright yellow despite it being winter, rest on the back of his knee to give her some semblance of balance.

“Do you feel it too?” she asked, his face buried in her neck, all components of a kiss gnashing and lapping at her throat. His lips trailed to her ear, ghosting over the conch-like folds to send intention to her again.

“I feel it.” he nodded, seeing her eyes closed and focused with her nose wrinkled as he looked at her face. Kisses that had no business being so light and tender walked along her neck to her jaw. Instead of engulfing her pinked lips, he kissed her cheek, seeing her face soften. He followed it with a delicate touch to her temple, a content hum left her as the smallest pressure of his lips was enough to move her head. He kissed her eyelids, watching the pained position her muscles fell into melt away. “Does it still hurt?” he whispered as his hands kept her steady and warm, firm against the give of her skin.

“No.” she exhaled, her face serene. He kissed her cheek and a smile graced his sight. “It feels good now.” her chin lifted with the happy news, and wet lashes that felt heavy fluttered open to find him watching her. “You always feel so good, Eddie.” she sighed after a deep inhale. Their lips met again, waves crashing. Their hands grew bolder, Star's grasping at his back, moving to his ass and thighs before she gave a slow caress of his hard cock pressed between their bodies. The instant she touched him, his hand dipped between her legs, giving in to the burn they both felt. He’d managed to not grope away at her chest, although the same couldn’t be said for her hips and ass. The passing touches, the firm fingertips across her nipples even in passing were enough to stoke the fire inside her. It had never taken much for him to do so, had it?

She instinctually reached for his crown of curls, her hand grasped at nothing, almost laughing when she realized it was as soaked as she was. She settled on petting him instead. He moved her leg, placing her foot on the edge of the tub for leverage, opening her up to him. He didn’t know how she managed to get her hair so soft. It was a frictionless cushion as it submitted to his fingers as they slid into the hot recesses of her body. Without trying his fingers found her clit, a throbbing beacon that supported her claims of fire and burning inside.

He pulled his body from hers, causing her hands to grasp around his length to keep him close. He angled his shoulders to get a better curve for his fingers to dip inside her. Her head fell back to the wall, her hand now lazily stroking his cock. He kept his face close, kissing the corners of her mouth as she let it fall open to get enough air to keep up with the rising beat of her heart.

“It feels a bit redundant to say I can feel how wet I am seeing as we’re in the shower but it doesn’t make it any less true.” a breathy giggle left her mouth that made him smile against her cheek.

“Can you hear it?” he asked into her ear, his fingers moving faster, a smack of skin to skin as he hooked in and made her gasp.

“Mmm Hmm.” she nodded, her mouth rolled together tight. “F-feel it too.” she stuttered out, her eyes opening to seek his out, looking up and presenting him the same kitten-wide stare she’d been giving him more and more as of late.

“Taste it too,” he murmured, lifting his sticky fingers to her lips where she eagerly took them into her mouth, her hand tightening around his cock and letting the groan that had been building in his chest escape. He slowly slid them out of her mouth, tips dancing on her lips as he joined his tongue with hers as she lapped away at his fingers. A moan left them both, her feeling the visceral reaction to his fingers, and his at the sight of her open-mouthed and hungry for whatever he gave her. Sliding into a deep kiss, wide mouths pressed together and tongues lavishing one another in the dark confines. He took her arm and put it around his neck, she followed it with her other quickly, feeling him take himself into his hand to dip his hips. She rose to her tiptoes, using his lean body as leverage, easing him in notching their bodies together. Her ankles wobbled, giving as he bottomed out, his dark nest of hair meshed to hers, the pressure of his hips against her swollen clit making her take him in even deeper at the few inches of height she’d lost. The stomach wiggling and the chest fluttering wasn’t the only new feeling for Star. She’d never had sex this way before, or even in a shower. She would’ve done it sooner if she’d known how the way he moved his body against hers would stimulate her clit so well.

It grew hot fast, the steam-filled air symbolic of the friction between them. He towered over her, making her feel small in a delicious way she’d never felt before. He tilted his hips more than pounded them. Her body rose with every thrust, taking him in as far as she could, and it still wasn’t enough. Their kisses turned desperate, sounds escaping with every push and pull, mouths linked together but unable to keep the promise of kissing. He felt as if he couldn’t get close enough to her, couldn’t bury himself deep enough inside her. He couldn’t part from her lovely lips, he needed to breathe her in, keep her close and devour every sound that left them. Her usual lusty, indulgent sounds were delicate and scared, almost pained. What they lacked in the usual dirty talk or growls they made up for in honesty and emotion. He kept his pace steady, dragging his body along hers, trying to touch every erogenous zone he knew of to give her everything she needed. A choked sob, a trembling lip now told him more in the intimate way he knew her than any words could.

“I know baby, I know.” he pressed his forehead to hers, taking control to give her gripping kisses as she cried out. She stuttered, her voice cracked, her throat tight and her body burning as she came. Each wave of it rolled over her with each push into her. It was not like Star to lose herself so willingly. She knew his arms here shaking, holding her weight up as she went limp. But she knew he’d keep her from harm. She shouted out as she inhaled, coming up from drowning in everything about him. She tried to steady herself with her hands on the shower wall, but she was still so fuzzy, her brain made of static she didn’t realize she knocked his arms away from her as she slid down the wall, the slick palms of Eddie gaining no grip as he slapped to keep her from the shower floor. She looked around, eyes no longer lolling in their sockets. She started to laugh, her whole face and body giving into it quickly, hunching in on herself before looking up at him. “You okay?” he asked with a bright smile, the feeling of hot tears prickling the backs of his eyes at the sight of her soaked and shaking from orgasm and laughter. His chest ached again with a gentle loving burn. Another moment he’d remember for the rest of his life and he was in it. He loved her so much.

“I’m too good.” she pushed her wet waves out of her face and tittered again, cheeks flushed. She grabbed the edge of the tub, legs wobbly like a newborn foal. “OOP!” she squeaked as they slid involuntarily and he joined in on the laughter now.

“You need help?”

“Most definitely but I can manage this.” she joked with her cheeks making her eyes almost disappear with her happy smile. “I only needed to get here.” she smacked her thighs as she sat back on her feet. “C’mere.” she gave him a playful wrinkle of her nose and pulled him toward her by the backs of his thighs. “This is what I want.” she cooed, eyes bright before disappearing behind her lids as she kissed his thighs. Her hands weren’t gentle, nails sinking into his thighs and ass, the usual soft fuzz now slick from the water running down his body. She used his body as leverage to pull herself to him, his cock bouncing off her nose as she giggled and nipped at him before deciding where to aim first. As always he was compelled to tell her she didn’t have to, a reaction he always had. And her answer was always that she wanted to. So he didn’t tell her this time, he watched her eyes bright and half-lidded, deep moans from the satisfaction of an orgasm as she kissed her way to his balls. With a hungry soft sound, she opened her mouth wide and engulfed him. He grabbed for the handle built into the shower wall to steady himself with a soft swear under his breath. She wiggled her hips like some happy puppy and shook her face deep between his thighs, pushing them apart to get into places no one else had been before. He smelled of the oils he’s soaked in, his skin impossibly soft. She lapped and hummed in the soft flesh parts of him and he let out a high-pitched whine. Kissing her way up she found him still coated in her, precum, a cherry on top of his pulsing cock that glistened in the light from the tiny window above the shower. She met his eye purposely, her tongue one long line up the underside of him, torturously slow, waiting for him to look at her. Only then did she gently suckle at his head, showing how much she enjoyed it.

“I love it when I can taste both of us like this,” she confessed, her hand wrapping around the base of him to aim him into her mouth. His hand that had been ahold of the handle moved to the side of her head lovingly. His other reached high, holding the shower curtain bar. It stretched him out so delectably her eyes rolled back, his slender waist to sturdy shoulder ratio expanding to make him look like some greek god come down to gift her with his visage. His hair was black, like his eyes against the shining pale of his skin. His tattoos were so stark, standing out to remind her of the stories behind each and how he just wouldn’t seem like Eddie without them. She slid him into her mouth as his hand shook, trying to be affectionate amidst the borderline obscenity happening in front of him and cup her cheek. But Star was too focused on the pleasure she could derive from pleasing him. It had been new, a surprise to her when they’d first gotten together. But he was so responsive, so giving in all other times she wanted to let him focus on himself and feel as good as he made her feel. She knew how to touch him. Two hands, a slight twist, took him down as far as she could and let her tongue bathe him all the while. He fell apart so quickly that he was embarrassed. He was panting, his hand twitching in her hair. Anytime he’d let his masculine light moans grace her ears she repaid him with one as enthusiastic and feminine in return.

"It’s been days.” he gritted out. “I’m gonna cum soon.” he sounded so pitiful, twitching in her mouth as he confessed.

“You promise?” she pulled off him with a wonderfully nasty gasp and pop. Spit stuck to her lips as she panted for breath, keeping them connected even after they parted.

He groaned and buried his face into the crook of his raised arm.

“Where do you wanna cum?” she asked, hands still stroking him, lips kissing at his firm and cushiony tip.

“Wha-where?” he asked confused. For the sake of a mess, Star had always gulped him right up.

“We’re in the shower. You can make a mess of me if you want.” she offered with her big eyes watching his every move. She saw the thoughts move across his face as if he were processing. “You want to cum on my tits?” she asked with a giggle and his eyes screwed shut, a whine leaving him as his hips bucked. “Or what about my face?”

“You’re fa-? Fuuuck.” he lamented into the echo of the shower.

“You gotta tell me, pretty boy? Where do you wanna mark me?” she was enjoying herself too much, seeing him a groveling mess above her. The idea of marking her was something they both knew he was into. “It’s my face, isn’t it? You wanna see me painted up all pretty with your cum?”

“Fuck, baby.” he whimpered as if she were making fun of him and she took him back into her mouth.

“Hmmm?” she asked for clarification through a hum while he was down her throat.

“Yes. Please.” he panted out, his face turning back to her. “I wanna see it.” he whispered, a hand holding her by the jaw to hold her face up to him so he didn’t miss an inch of it. “Let me, baby, here.” he took himself into his hand, knowing he was close. He put his hand on the shower wall behind her, really leaning over her to aim.

“You look so fucking good stroking your cock over me like this.” she dotted kisses to his leaking head, timing them to his strokes.

“M’gonna cum.” he whined. She held her tits up, jutted out her chin proudly, and opened her mouth. The sight was enough to finish him off. She caught the first bit on her tongue and closed her mouth, humming and biting her lip. She shut her eyes and moved slightly so he’d hit other parts of her face. He was almost scorching hot against her face in spurts. A few days might’ve been an understatement with how he painted her. She felt it hit her hair, her chest, running down her throat as she giggled and wiggled her hips excitedly, knowing he was enjoying the process. She felt him land against her face, fat and warm as she hummed and kissed his twitching cock.

“You didn’t even hit my eyes. You’ve done this before.” she giggled and batted her wet lashes at him. She was admittedly wet again from his sights and sounds, considering another round or having him use his gifted hands on her. But a familiar sound, a squeaking slip after he moved his hand to his face to rub it as if he were making sure he wasn’t dreaming. He shouted as he slipped, Star moving back to catch him.

“Ow, fuck.” he laughed, now on top of her, one of her legs out of the side of the tub and him on his knees, chest pressed against hers.

“We’re gonna die in this shower.” she snorted out, her arm wrapped around him. He took his washcloth off the handle in the shower, wiping off her face as she gave him an odd smile.

“I’d say sorry about this but… I’m not.” he wiped her down and tossed the cloth back behind him. He kissed her chest as she laughed.

“You shouldn’t be. That was fun.” she shook her head, him awkwardly scooting in their tangle of limbs to kiss her. “I mean, more than fun. It was amazing. That position was almost worth breaking a leg. You were on my clit so good.” she cooed and sighed, her hand on his head as he kissed adoringly on her neck and jaw.

“My legs were cramping like a mother fucker.” he admitted and they fell into another round of laughs. She felt that feeling in her chest again, laying like sprawled rag dolls in his shower tub, soaked and sticky and content in their afterglow. It was so silly, both having fallen, both awkward and still enjoying every second of it. He looked down at her, and she up at him. They both felt it in their chests again simultaneously. Again Star felt an odd pang of jealousy. How could he have done this, made her feel this new connection? She’d been practicing for years and he tries it on a whim and connects with her so strongly she was still worried she might be dreaming. A tender kiss, a shared laugh of embarrassment, and pure joy cross between their lips. She let the warm honey feeling move outwardly from her chest, full of wonder and a smidge of concern. She wanted to know what it was about him that made him able to do this. She didn’t think there were emotions left to experience after all she’d been through. She was so close to figuring it out. She just had no idea.

-

Star was neck-deep in sexual trauma theory. What started as a new years resolution, which she was already annoyed by going by the Gregorian calendar, had taken her to the library to try to find some women-based reading. She’d gotten a funny look when she asked the librarian where she might find some good books written by women on feminism. At that moment she missed Chicago. The librarian there had been a lovely lesbian that would talk her ears off about women’s rights if you’d let her. But here, the not old woman looked at her like she had two heads. At this point, with $5 in the hole for photocopies of medical and psychology journal studies, she felt like she had three heads with the amount of knowledge she was cramming in. She wanted to dive into her past, her cards telling her that was where she needed to focus her healing. So she obliged them, and now she was torn between flashbacks of her ex, her chronic bad decisions since she was a tween, and the current evolution of herself. She was thankful to have made so much progress, but the way she would get a flutter in her chest every time a case study hit a little too close to home, a domestic violence instance, grief, sexual assault, it all made the scar on her head hurt to think about. It brought up things she wanted to forget but knew she couldn’t. She felt tired. She remained, however, grateful for the present. She decided to smoke and take a break, needing a distraction.

Eddie made his way with unburdened steps into Star’s trailer. She looked up from her nest of papers on her bed, glasses on and her hair twirled up with a pencil in it. She blinked a few times, looking up over her glasses at him as if he’d interrupted.

“Sorry I was looking for Star's place, I didn’t know this was the library.” He bonked his forehead dramatically and he got a smile out of her. All was right in the world.

“Funny you mention that. I did go to the library today.” She tabbed the paper she was reading, a stack of many bound together by staples, clips, and rubber bands. A few books with their shiny library covers joined the controlled mess on her bed.

“Really?” He said surprised. He recall a time she’d told him she’d gone there before. “What'd you get?” She scooted to the edge of the bed, her oversized cardigan riding up her hips before she stood and handed Eddie a book.

“It started with this.” She began sorting and piling the stacks of papers onto the kitchen table.

“The Female Eunuch?” He winced at the title.

“I was trying to find something feminist.”

“This sounds the exact opposite.”

“It’s not, which is interesting,” she shrugged and dug the pencil out of her hair. “I have this book touting to go forth and fuck! Live your life for only you and follow your pussy and what it wants! THEN.” She rolls her eyes shaking a stack of photocopies. “There are all these studies on trauma and how you can’t trust yourself and everything is a trauma response and that using your sexuality can be a coping mechanism to cover fear and I -“ she stopped and took a deep breath, removing the glasses she wore only to read. Only Eddie knew she had them and he relished in that fact, loving her in them anytime he saw them. She’d needed them after the head injury. Rubbing the bridge of her nose she turned back toward Eddie who had sat the book down as if it bite him. “You think you know yourself. And then someone with a Ph.D. tells you differently.” She rolled her eyes.

“What brought this on?” He stepped closer, a bit hesitant, her mood not welcoming but also not turning him away.

“New Year New Me.” She curtsies satirically. “What is it that always brings this stuff on?”

“Therapy.” He nodded now understanding.

“Bingo.” She pointed out to bop his nose. “I go looking for empowerment and get called a slut.” She laughed.

“Did someone call you that?” She saw his protective haunches rise and she gave him a much sweeter smile as she mushed his cheeks with her palms.

“No sweet pea, I mean the books.” He looks at the book he sat on the counter and flipped it off. “That’ll show 'em” Star laughed.

“You’re just a book. You don’t even have a brain. You don’t know shit.” He said loudly, bending at the waist with enthusiasm as Star was taken by another laugh.

“I think that’s the last we’ll be hearing from them.” She leaned in to put her arms around his neck. “My hero.” She bat her lashes as he flexed his arms.

“You need someone to insult inanimate objects? I’m your man.” A cocky nod and wink made her giggle a kiss on his cheek. “Doesn’t matter what some book says anyway.” He moved to pull her against him, both content and calm as they spoke with barely inches between them. “What do you think?”

“About?”

“What the books and papers are telling you.” He nodded over the stack before returning his eyes to her. She took a deep breath before responding.

“I thought I just liked sex. It feels good. I don’t go out and do it impulsively anymore. You know, no drugs or shady situations.” He cocked an eyebrow up at her. “Weed doesn’t count.” She wrinkled her nose playfully at him.

“Oh right sorry, forgot.” He grinned.

“It’s not dangerous anymore. It’s not something I dread or hate or avoid. It’s… just sex ya know?”

Eddie felt a little wounded. Sure that was what he’d agreed on months ago but he is now a compulsive liar by her therapy standards. Sex with her never felt like just sex.

“I dunno, I think there’s more to it than, just sex.” He gave a little shrug.

“Well now yeah.” She added quickly. “It is much more fun when it’s with someone you trust and care about. So yeah, you’re right. I mean in comparison to where I was. It was used against me for years so I took back my power and just- went nuts again like I was 13 again.”

“13?” He asked a touch mortified.

“Yeah, I had a fake ID and was going to clubs and stuff.” She said it so casually. “I had curves at 12. Puberty hit me like a truck. And early.” She chuckled. “Mom had just passed and I went wild for a bit. Without her there to take care of me or give me advice I ran to the wrong crowd and I was another after-school special.” She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but that explains a lot.”

“It does doesn’t it?” She laughed. “I know I was too young now. Which is why I get so protective over the kids. I don’t want them to have to learn everything little thing the hard way.”

“You’re a good role model.” He said comfortingly.

“You think so?” She was surprised

“You’re not talking out of your ass about things. You did it, you fucked up and you moved forward. That’s all anyone can do in life.”

“So simple and so sage.” She smiled warmly at him, a chaste kiss of appreciation to his lips. “When did you start having sex?” She asked curiously.

“I can say I was trying since 13.” He laughed and buried his head into her shoulder.

“C’mon. I’m not gonna make fun of you. You’re not old and I wasn’t your first so it can’t be bad.” She mushed her head to his and squeezed him.

“18.” He mumbled into her shoulder. “This older girl had already graduated. Fucked me for my birthday.” He chuckled, pulling back and his cheeks were blushing. “Then I didn’t care about it as much. And since I was 18 I could do whatever the fuck I wanted so going to shows I fucked around some. That’s mostly it. Some hand-and-mouth stuff at… 16? Some girl that I’d known forever. Neither of us had any game so we practiced on each other.”

“That old chestnut.” She snorted,

“Yep, Eddie’s the dirty little secret.” he sighed. “She got tits over the summer and after that, she never spoke to me again. Dudes we’re all over her after that.”

“When my tits come in I won’t ditch you.” Star failed at holding in a giggle.

“You gonna get more?” He reached up and squeezed her chest and she delighted him with a laugh, putting her hands over his.

“They’re fine.” She shrugged. “Who needs tits when you’ve got an ass like mine anyway?” She said with a more serious tone but still joking expression.

“I can’t agree or disagree because I can get slapped either way.”

“You could say nothing and grab both?” She offered, taking her hands off his to let him choose. With one hand staying in place and the other going for her meaty cheek he leaned and kissed her. They laughed through it at first as he wobbled her cheek and squeezed away like she was a stress toy. He walked to her the bed, her willingly drawing him back before he threw his jacket and kicked off his shoes. His hands grabbed her roughly, both hands firm on her ass before giving one side a jolting spank then the other.

“Does it make me a bad feminist to like this?” She giggled as his kisses started to travel to her jaw.

“Mmmph no.” He shook his head. “Makes you a woman who knows what she likes.” He growled playfully and bit her neck. She hummed contently and turned to get on the bed on her knees. She pulled him toward her by his belt loop and a cocky smile sat on his handsome face. “You are the portrait of feminism aren’t you?” He smirked, letting her knock his knees against the side of the bed. She raised to kiss him, trying to pull him down onto the bed. Instead, he crawled on his knees, gaining more and more leverage over her until her feet kicked out in their knee-high socks and she landed on her back.

He raised over her, his hands holding him up at arm's length. His hair shook as he smiled and ran a finger down the v-neck of her sweater, farther down to tickle her thigh. He heard her make a small sound, tensing her thighs together. He leaned down to kiss her knees, hands moving her legs apart to settle between them.

Star lay on her back, feeling Eddie between her legs and getting the oddest sensation in her chest. This wasn’t like the scary but good one. This wasn’t the magic one. Before she realized what he was doing he had her legs spread and his hips between them, pulling her to cozy up their hips to one another.

“You do what you want.” He said supportively, kissing her ankle.

Star suddenly felt small. Too small. Bad small. He looked so broad, so intimidating towering over her when she was on her back. The kisses eased the way her heart started to quicken, she felt sweat start to form on her skin. The words of her ex were a ghostly whisper in her head. ‘You think you can do what you want.’ Overtook the sweet playful nature of Eddie. Her chest tightened.

He kissed down her legs, loud adoring smooches, a single one pressed to her cotton-covered center. She didn’t mewl and pull his head into her like usual. But he didn’t find it that odd, her hands were on his shoulders after all.

Star's muscles tightened, and she felt compelled to push Eddie away, fighting with herself that he wasn't Bobby and he wasn’t hurting her. But the closer he got to hovering over her completely, each kiss up her chest made her gasp with the signs of a panic attack. Poor Eddie thought she was simply into it. He was, she always had been, why would she not be?

“You say what you want.” He added, another bullet point in his supportive list of things that made her a good feminist.

‘You think you can run your fucking mouth.’ Is what Star heard, Bobby’s voice in her head as she gritted her teeth together. Eddie reached her throat and found it clammy and cold, her pulse too fast when he kissed her throat. He raised and that's when she broke.

Star whimpered, the first filled with only fear and pain he’d heard from her. Eddie's face went pale, putting his hand on her face to comfort her.

“Hey, hey, baby what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?” He begged, Trying to comfort her by wrapping her up in his arms beneath her. Unfortunately for both of them, that was the wrong move. He felt her cry and her hands shake as they pushed against him. He immediately backed away, keeping his hands on her as she scrambled to the head of the bed like a frightened animal. She looked cornered, her eyes apologizing as she stuttered and tried to speak.

“P-panic.” She tapped her chest and Eddie slid in, knowing how to help now. He counted breaths, blew on her face, and fanned her until she stopped shaking. He didn’t ask anything until she spoke first. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered, her bangs sticking to her forehead from sweat.

“No, no apologizing sweetheart these things happen.”

“It wasn’t you, I’m sorry.” She said again and he sat against the wall, patting his chest to offer it to her. She snuggled herself against him, her ear to his chest without hesitation.

“Take your time, it’s fine.” He stroked her hair and rubbed her back.

“We’ve never-you’ve never been on top like that before.” She spoke quietly, but there was no reason not to.

“No, we haven’t have we?” He hadn’t even realized.

“This is going to sound so stupid.” She pushed her face into his chest and he pulled her in closer, kissing her head.

“You know it’s not. You know I wouldn’t say that. You’re just having a moment. It’s not stupid.”

“He-“ she began and it was a man so infamous that he’d never even met he knew exactly who she meant. “He would only… have sex with me like that. He would-.”

“Say no more, sweetie. I understand. I get it.” He nodded and frowned. “I’d say I can imagine but I can’t.” He admitted. Eddie didn’t know what to say. So he went with “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t know I'd react like that. I’m sorry. I thought I was past it.”

“Shhhh.” He rocked her slightly, stroking back her hair. “I don’t blame you. That reaction makes sense after that. I didn’t know anything about that I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“I don’t want him in my head anymore. I’m so tired.” She yawned on cue. “He doesn’t deserve to take up space in my head. And keep me from doing things I want to.”

“You’re right.” He wholeheartedly agreed. She could feel him nod.

“I’ll be fine. Eventually. I just need a little time. I’ll need to work this out.”

“Good. Take your time, honey. Whatever you want to do or not do is fine with me.”

“Thank you.” She nuzzled her face into his chest again. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you either.” He said it in earnest but it made her smile.

“Do I feel a smile?” He looked down to see her face and she offered it up to him.

“Yeah.” She rasped out, barely a word. “He never made me do that.” She huffed out an awkward laugh at the dark humor of it. “But you can.” A soft sleepy smile gazed up at him, wholesome as could be. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her with a sound of strain to break the tension.

“I’ll keep doing it then.”

“Please do.” She yawned.

“I’ll switch on the tv and you can nap. You deserve it. Sound good?” He picked the remote up off her bedside table.

She simply nodded, her body tired from the attack, but in an exhausted calm knowing she was safe now. She had someone who would let her be human and mess up and still hold her and keep her safe. She could fall asleep with that simple fact alone.

PART 18

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[avintagekiss24]

—belated; bucky barnes

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x black!reader

word count: 4738

warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, sex, rough sex, anal sex, biting kink, choking kink, spanking, pain kink, vaginal fingering, mean bucky (my fave), ring kink cuz i love it when boys wear rings

squares filled: @buckybarnesbingo Y3: Birthdays ; @badthingshappenbingo Biting ; @star-spangled-bingo N1: Taking Charge

request: bucky barnes + "pay attention to me or i'll make you" + anal + choking + spanking + biting + pain

author note: it's been foreverrrrr! i'm so sorry! i had to work myself through a little slump! hopefully this makes up for the almost two months we've gone without a fic! this is story #2 for my 5k celebration, all fics will be tagged #5k...holy god. this was formatted in the beta text post editor on desktop, if anything looks weird, that's why :)

gif by @pedropcl ; line divider by @firefly-graphics

James Buchanan Barnes is possessive.

One of those massive hands around the back of your neck as you walk casually through the streets. Fingers wrapped around your wrist, or shoulder, or hip in a tight grip. He pulls you in close— right into his side as shopping bags hang from the tips of his metal fingers.

Bucky Barnes wants every man on the streets of Greece to know that you are his.

Not that you mind; quite the contrary. You just smile and giggle when he throws his heavy arm around your shoulders and hooks the crease of his arm right underneath your chin. Slip your hand into the back pocket of his loose dark jeans (giving that little tush of his a squeeze). Slink your arm around his little waist and breathe in his scent— heavy and woodsy— as the two of you stroll.

After all, he’s just as much yours as you are his.

All of his friends, Sam, Steve, Clint, all see the change in him. The little soft spot for you that blinds him entirely— turns him in a mushy puddle of emotions and puppies and rainbows. Very different from the Bucky they grew up with, but a Bucky that the three of them have come to enjoy. It’s a change of pace from the enforcer they know.

The two of you don’t talk about his work— in fact, it’s the reason why you’re in Greece to begin with. A late birthday present to make up for the fact that his “work” just happened to be the waiter at the restaurant he chose to take you to for your thirty second birthday. Come on babe, he chuckled as you scowled back at him over the rim of your wine glass, watching as he stained his white napkin red with his bloody knuckles, you know what they say, kill two birds with one stone… not funny?

Two weeks, two nonrefundable, open ended tickets, and five grand in bikinis, shorts, and shoes later, you’re getting some much needed Greek sun on your deep brown skin.

He’s even letting you call the shots for a change. Letting you wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to have breakfast— a spread of breads, cheeses and fruits on the balcony of your room as the sun rises. He doesn’t say a word as you drag him through the city, stopping at each little boutique and shoe store. Sits patiently as you try on every dress, every skirt, and every silk top in the entire country it seems.

Bucky even bit his lip as you gazed at engagement rings— hinting that princess cut is your favorite as you held your hand up into the natural sunlight as one adored your finger. Smiling over at him and wiggling your eyebrows all the while as he narrowed his eyes and plastered a fake smile on his face.

Today has been like all the others, a lazy day spent on the beach, a quick nap underneath an umbrella, a concoction of too much sun and too many margaritas going straight to your head. Now, you’re kinda sleepy and kinda drunk, but most importantly hungry— and Mykonos sounds like a great place for dinner. Despite Bucky’s objections (you’re too tired and too drunk to handle a ferry), you’re dressed in a cute little flowery sundress, him in an out-of-character white tank top, open pale blue and green striped button down and khaki chinos— you forbade him from bringing anything black— and you’re flip flops are slapping against the cobblestone street towards the ferry.

“Drop your attitude,” You say, glancing over your shoulder as he pays for your tickets, “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, that excuse is wearing thin, girl.” You stumble a little with the motion of the ferry as you step onto it, having to grab onto the railing to steady yourself before Bucky grabs hold of your wrist, “Water only for the rest of the night.”

His voice is low and borderline threatening as he presses his lips right against your ear, and you know not to press him any further. You like to stick your toes right up against his line and that’s what irritates him most about you (always what he loves most), but you and he both know you’d never dare cross it.

Bucky pulls you behind him, hand around your wrist, that possessive trait rearing its head as male eyes fall on you as the two of you pass by. He finds an empty spot, away from the crowd, and plops down on the bench as you step up on the lower rung of the railing and stare out over the sea.

Within twenty or thirty minutes, the ferry pulls away from the dock and you can’t wipe the smile from your face. The sun sets off in the distance, the bright lights of the city turning into little pinpoints. Small droplets of the cool, salty water splashes up in your face as the wind and the ferry whips it up. You keep glancing down at the phone in your hand as you broadcast your current view to your instagram, laughing softly as hearts and emojis explode on your screen.

You lean forward, tilting your phone and smiling wide, waving into the camera before you shout out how much you love it here. The words are barely out of your mouth before an arm wraps around your middle, a wide, hard chest pressed into your back, “That’s enough,” he reaches with his metal arm, grabbing your phone, ending your live feed, “You’re too drunk to be hanging off the side like that.”

“I am not,” you struggle against him lightly as he sets you on your feet, “What is your problem?”

“I’m annoyed.”

“Well, duh. Why?”

He slips your phone into his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest, sharp blue eyes piercing into yours, “Pay attention to me,” he says low, eyes dropping down your body real slow as he drags his bottom lip between his teeth, “Or I’ll make you.”

So that’s what it’s about. Bucky Barnes feels neglected between all the shopping and beach days and margaritas. Jealousy is cute on him.

The words though, they strike you right to your core— feel them down to your bones. A hard swallow pushes through your throat as your lips part, big brown eyes softening as your breath starts to rush a little harder. You hate to admit— not really— you love this Bucky. This is work Bucky, a man you rarely get to see. Slightly scary, anger brimming just below the surface. Jaw tight, eyes hard, head tilted just a bit. He’s menacing, and it makes your lips twitch into a small smile.

Shrugging defiantly, you cross your arms over your chest, “You didn’t pay much attention to me on my birthday.”

“Not true.”

“Not true?” you nearly shout, eyes going wide, “I ate alone while you beat the hell outta our waiter behind the building! I had to wait two hours for my slice of cake!”

“How is that my fault?”

You scoff, “Oh, I dunno, maybe because our waiter was spitting out his teeth in the alley out back— all thanks to you.”

“I have to work. You know that.”

“Not,” you hiss, “On my fucking birthday.”

He knows he’s wrong for that shit, so he stands there, huffing quick before he cocks his head again and just blinks back at you— unamused. He won’t apologize, it’s just not in his nature, but his usual attempts to make you happy after he’s fucked up aren’t working; so he’s at a loss.

And you’re enjoying that. A little too much if you ask him.

But alas, it’s not fun to fight on vacation, and you have taken far too many liberties when it comes to his tolerance for attitude. It’s been fun— and you’re just drunk enough to push him one last time.

You move slow, walking right up to him, so close that each inhale pushes your tits into his body. The smirk quirked up on your lips grows as you peer up at him, eyes bouncing between his as you place your hands on his forearms still crossed over his chest.

Bucky lifts his eyebrow as you push up on your tiptoes and push your chin forward to bring your lips close to his, “And just how are you gonna make me pay attention to you, James?”

He inhales deep, pushes it out real slow as he tilts his head even further. A smile spreads on his face and you just know that this is the last thing his work sees before he rearranges the bones of their face. This is exactly why his clients pay him as well as they do.

Thick fingers are wrapped around your wrist again, nails digging into your skin as he starts to pull you behind him. He weaves you through bodies, you nearly having to jog to keep up with his strides. Laughter bubbles up in your chest, a little shriek escaping as he pulls you down some stairs to the lower level of the ferry. Once your feet hit the last step, Bucky whips you around his body, sending you spinning and laughing until you bounce into an old, rusty metal barrel.

The smell of salt fills your nose and lungs as you inhale, covering your face with your hands. Your skin is hot, lips slightly numb as you dissolve into laughter again. He’s right, you’re a little too drunk for this.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be down here.” You mumble, brushing your wild hair out of your face.

“I could give a fuck,” he answers, stepping up to you, grabbing your face in his hands, “You’ve been testing me the entire time we’ve been here all over some stupid shit.”

Another giggle pushes through your lips as you bat your eyes, “I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky sucks his teeth as he drops his metal hand around your throat and squeezes gently, the rings on his fingers cool against your skin, “I was stupid, okay? But don’t put on that little innocent act, girl. You’re trying me, and I’ve had enough.”

A smile cracks onto your face, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. You wrap both hands around his one wrist and slip them up his arm, feeling the soft metal as you continue to goad him, “You got some proof, big man?”

The tip of his black and gold thumb prods at your lip, pushes just inside. You wrap your tongue around it and suck gently, keeping your eyes on his all the while.

Bucky laughs, deep and earnestly, “Proof, she says. She needs proof.” He glances around before he spins you quick, facing you away from him as he lifts your dress to reveal your pink satin thong.

You squeal loud, pushing and slapping at his hand as he grabs a handful of your ass, “Bucky! There’s people!” you laugh, “Oh my god!”

“Keep your voice down,” he warns, wrapping his metal fingers around your throat again, “Understand?”

A jolt of electricity flashes through you as you wiggle in his grasp. He tightens his grip around your neck as you wrap your fingers around the edge of the barrel, swallowing hard.

“That requires an answer, honey.”

The chill in his voice, added with the slow circles and soft tickles of fingertips against the back of your naked thigh sends a pang through your belly, “I understand.”

He chuckles soft and with a quick peck on the cheek whispers, “Good girl.”

Bucky curls his left arm around your chest, hooking your chin in the crease of his arm as he grips your right shoulder. You grab on to it with both hands, out of instinct, eyes wide and skirting around for any signs of other human presence down here. Bucky turns, moving you with him to eye the steps quickly again before that flesh hand sweeps around to the front.

The soft material of your dress falls over his hand as he rubs your stomach— his rings catching and snagging your skin. That hand pushes downward, over your thighs, gripping and kneading the soft flesh before he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it upward, exposing those expensive panties again.

“Bucky,” you hum, his name trembling on your lips with the vibrations of your excitement, “Baby.”

He rucks your dress right up— right up around your waist and pulls the slack behind you, pressing his body into yours to keep it in place. The dark stubble adorning his cheeks and chin cuts into the side of your face as he nuzzles in, humming to himself soft before he kisses the corner of your mouth.

Those fingertips start to trace the hem of your thong— slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. From hip to hip. Your eyes flutter. Fingers grip the soft black metal of his arm a little harder. Legs go to jelly as another hard swallow passes through your throat.

“Ain’t got all that mouth now, do you?” He whispers, fingers slipping just inside the silk of your panties to tease the delicate skin underneath.

When he slips his hand in— all the way in— cupping hot skin, fingers dancing between folds and teasing a wet slit, an influx of air fills your lungs. A gasp, small and clipped sounds in the back of your throat as his fingers start a rhythm. You melt into him, head resting on his shoulder as your hips push forward to meet greedy fingers.

A naughty finger pushes in quick, and then a second— all the way to the black and silver rings dressed on them. His arm tightens around your neck as he presses his lips right against your ear, “You need to apologize.”

He fucks his fingers into you, withdrawing slow, and then pushing back in— each time the edges of his rings stopping him from going deeper. You can’t help but purr as you continue to grip his arm with both of your hands.

“I don’t think—“

“All I want to hear,” his words clip yours, each one slow and drawn and deep, “Is I’m sorry for testing your patience. I won’t do it again.” He curls his fingers, the pads stroking that sweet little spongey spot, making you clamp your legs closed around his hand, “Let me hear you.”

You can’t. You won’t. Too stubborn and too drunk to give in to him, wanting to win just this once.

If there’s one thing James Buchanan Barnes does not like, it’s hesitation. It’s dangerous, he always says. You think too long, you get hurt. Predators don’t hesitate.

Well, you like being his prey.

Only a few seconds pass before Bucky tuts in your ear, seemingly disappointed in your obstinate behavior, but you both know it’s just the opposite. His cock pressing into your ass tells you so.

The fingers disappear. The arm choking you just right pulls away and your dress falls back around the middle of your thighs. You huff, wiping quick at your forehead and pushing your wild, curly hair out of your face again.

Your hands find your hips in irritation but he slaps them away quick as he sucks his teeth, “You must really want this spanking, girl. Keep it up.”

That you do— keep it up. Huffing again. Crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child. Brown eyes cut back at him over your shoulder to find sharp blues already on you. A smirk on his face.

Metal fingers curl around the back of your neck, pushing you forward gently until your thighs press against the old metal barrel again.

“Lean forward, kitten.”

Voice as smooth as silk while you do so, gripping the rusted edges for balance. Your dress is yanked up again— rough this time— and twisted around his Vibranium hand. Then there’s warm, the warmth of skin against yours. Gentle brushes of fingers and a palm rubbing slow circles, then pinching and grabbing soft— prepping your skin for what’s to come.

He pauses for just a second, no doubt to scan your surroundings and then pulls his hand away. You lung forward with the slap he levels to your behind within a fraction of a second— the sound sharp and heavy.

There’s another, and then a third in quick succession before he’s massaging your skin again. Real soft and sweet. Tears burn at the back of your eyes at the sting that radiates through, all the way to your bones but the molten heat deep in your belly spreads like a fire. Each breath is hard and shaky, heart thumping against your chest but it’s so good.

Bucky switches to the other cheek, skilled fingers sweeping over your canvas of skin before he cracks you— one, two, three.

You squeal with each one. The thud of those heavy rings around his fingers send a quick, new shockwave every time, building on the one before it. The tips of your fingers go red from holding on to the rusty old barrel as tight as you are, but your brain? She’s fuzzy and warm, and drifting up into the clouds with each swift slap.

Bucky is a methodical man. Three for the right cheek, three for the left, three right in the middle. His hand sneaks around your hip, giving it a squeeze before it comes back around and drops to the inside of your thigh. Grabs the meat of it— digs his fingernails in just to hear you yelp. Cups your cunt in his palm, feeling the heat and the wet— makes him groan all low and dirty.

He bunches your hair in his hand, tugs you up by it. Spins you around to face him before hoisting you up and settling you on top of the barrel.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” He growls, ripping at the button and zipper of his jeans.

You just hum in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and throwing your arms over his shoulders.

Bucky grabs your chin, forcing it up before he squeezes your cheeks, “Huh? Answer me.”

Damp eyelashes flutter as hot air escapes from parted, hot lips. He leans in real close, cock pushing right at your slit and kisses you hard as he slips his arm around your waist. He breaks away quick, sloppy and loud before pecking your lips once, twice, three times again.

“You want me to fuck you, girl?”

The weight of his words are felt right down to your core, a shiver passing between the two of you. You let your heavy head fall back and your eyes close as Bucky nuzzles into the side of your face, his pretty white teeth skipping along your neck, nipping and nibbling.

“I want you to fuck me,” you whisper after mere seconds, finally submitting in this cat and mouse game, “Bucky, please.”

That’s all he needs— all he wants. For you to submit, after letting you have the reins for one day too long. He sinks into you slow, spreading you open with each inch, biting down into the side of your neck as he bottoms out. His teeth dig in a little deeper, a little harder as he starts to move, rocking back and forth almost succinct with the waves of the water.

You’re moving with him too, meeting each of his thrusts with your hips. You keep your legs tight around his waist, feet dangling and bouncing against the back of his thighs. A trail of hot kisses are pressed along your neck and down your shoulder before traipsing back up— teeth grazing along your jaw.

Long fingers skip up your side and between your bouncing tits to only wrap around your neck again. They squeeze, gently, as his pace starts to pick up, hips shoving harder and faster— that old barrel starting to scrape against the wood floor.

The force makes you louder, moaning with abandon as if the two of you are all alone on this little ferry. Bucky makes quick work of you, shoving metal fingers into your mouth— giving you something to suck on to keep you quiet.

“That’s a good girl.” he growls, voice gritty and low.

He’s punishing after that. Each snap of his hips thrusting you backward, the barrel you’re on top of tipping back and then slapping down on the floor. You yelp with each one, your mouth going slack around his digits as your hands fall to the edges of the barrel for some semblance of balance.

It’s obscene, the way you can hear your fuck. The wet of your cunt. The squeak of his cock plunging into tight, slick muscles. The heavy thud of his hips pounding into yours. The slap of your flip flops falling to the wood floor as he’s quite literally fucked them right off of your feet. It’s filthy— crude— and so very Bucky.

You’re back on your feet before you know it— before you realize it. Spun back around, Bucky’s hard chest and stomach pressed into your back. He grabs both of your hands and places them back on the barrel, his metal hand staying on top of yours, fingers gripping fingers.

Eager hips wiggle back into his as you hiss and sink your teeth into your bottom lip, groaning low. Your head drops when you feel his cock push through your ass cheeks— wet cockhead pressing against your hot rim.

He starts to fumble around behind you, each passing second making you more and more impatient. There’s a soft click, and then a light suction sound— something squeezing.

“Bucky,” you hiss, pushing back into him again, “Hur—”

The word breaks off right in the middle as he levels a quick smack against your hip— a warning. Then your ass cheeks are pulled apart, wet, slimy fingers sliding and prodding at your quivering rim. He brushes slow strokes, circling, pressing his fingers gently as he preps your little hole for what’s to come.

“What kind of freak brings lube to dinner?” you smile, gasping as he pinches the inside of your thigh.

You lurch forward when he grabs the back of your neck and yanks you back into him, lips right against your cheek, “The kinda freak that was gonna fuck you in an alley after dinner. Now shut that mouth.”

He’s pressing again, this time harder, his cockhead popping into you with force. You grunt with the initial intrusion, Bucky stopping his assault to allow you time to adjust to him— but that doesn’t last long. Your mouth goes slack again. Eyes slam shut, head falls forward as he slips in, deeper and deeper and deeper until his stomach is flush with your ass.

He wiggles— so you can feel him, feel him tickling the deepest part of you. Slaps at your ass again, quick, fingers glancing off your skin and leaving behind a hell of a sting. Then he’s fucking you again, slower this time, savoring the tight, glove-like hold your body provides.

Metal fingers grab at the hem of your dress again, tugging it up before they push back into your panties, finding a swollen, hot nub. Pinching and rubbing smooth circles against it, flicking and thrashing at the bundle of nerves before he shoves his fingers back into your cunt. They curl, those fingers, and pet your insides with surgical precision— only James Buchanan Barnes knows how to fuck you like this.

The heel of his palm slams against your clit as he fingers you rough and fucks your ass with gusto. Sleazy sounds gurgle up in your throat, the slapping of skin and the waves crashing against the side of the ferry, the rush of the wind filling your ears. Bucky pulls you flush against him and slithers his tongue just beneath your ear before his teeth grab a hold, tugging soft.

Teeth keep nipping— along your jaw, your cheeks, ears, neck. He fucks into you hard as he shoves his flesh hand into the neckline of your dress, gripping your tits. Pinching and kneading hard, thick nipples, mumbling sweet nothings all the while.

Your stomach churns, muscles tensing and flexing as synapses start to fire off in quick succession. Quick goosebumps pop up along your skin as your stomach tightens and you can taste it it’s so close. Bucky knows it, feels it as your walls constrict around his fingers, your asshole tightening around him. Vibranium fingers keep rubbing, keep fucking into your pussy hard, palm slapping against your clit, adding more and more pressure until the coil snaps.

It’s hard, and sudden— your body freezing as your orgasm consumes you. Bucky clamps a wet hand over your mouth as you mewl and bite into his palm, your hips thrusting forward with each wave of your release. He pulls his fingers from you to slap at your jumping clit, pressing the pads into it before he rubs quick little circles and then slaps at it again.

He drops his hand to your chin, yanking it up as you nearly cry, mewling and trembling with your release to kiss you hard and sloppy as you come. He kneads your tits with his mammoth hand as aftershocks flash through you, your used body jerking at random. Within seconds, there's a cloud of warmth in your ass. Rough grunts in your ear, growing louder with each spurt of his cock, your hot muscles milking him.

You let him use you, let him fill you up full of his silk. Grab his hands and lace your fingers with his as he empties long ribbons in you. Pull his arms around your waist and hold them there as he rides it out, his head falling to your shoulder. The two of you stand there, resting against that old barrel, breathing hard, skin sticky and balmy. Salt from the ocean in your nose.

Bucky’s the first to pull away, glancing back at the stairs before he pulls himself gingerly from you, leaving your body empty, a dribble of his come slipping out with him. He catches it with his fingers, drags them up the back of your thigh and between your ass cheeks before he shrugs out of his collared shirt and white tank top.

He cleans you up sweet with the tank top. Keeps his arm around your waist to steady you as he wipes at your thighs and your hot, sticky, puffy cunt, shushing you soft when you jump and whimper at the contact. He flings the messy tank top over the side of the ferry and rubs your hips and stomach real slow, murmuring into your ear all the while.

Diligent fingers then rearrange your thong— and cop a little feel, cupping your sensitive, swollen sex, giving it a little pinch so he can laugh when you shiver and squeak. Bucky pulls your dress, tugging lightly to get it back straight around your waist before smoothing it over your ass and thighs— even pulls at the top, making sure your tits are sitting pretty.

You can’t even open your eyes, overcome by alcohol and sleepiness and a post sex high. He fumbles with your fingers as your head lulls on his shoulder, a soft hum vibrating in your throat in your murky haze. Bucky lifts your arm by the elbow, sliding his hand up your forearm until he’s cupping your hand in his.

“Open your eyes, baby.” You groan in protest, causing a chuckle to rumble through his chest, ��Come on.”

So you do. You always do whatever this man wants you to do— and there, right on your finger sits that big princess cut engagement ring you teased him with days before.

“How about we skip dinner and find a church, huh?” he whispers, kissing your cheek soft and sweet.

You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes wet as a smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And if I say no?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” He laughs as you adjust in his arms, pushing up on your tiptoes to cup his handsome face and kiss him on those pretty pink lips, “Then I guess I’ll have to fuck some sense into that pretty mouth of yours, won’t I birthday girl?”

[thesolferino]

Favor

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ genre: angst, fluff

⤷ word count: 8.4k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a day. things only seem to go downhill from there.

It started as a favor.

On a quiet night in your apartment when you stared at your phone for way longer than your eyes could physically take and rolled around on the bed, talking to one of your best internet friends, Dream, he asked you for a favor. His voice was muffled through the mic on his phone, the one connected to his computer way cleaner, but neither of you could bother getting off FaceTime and call on Discord instead - yet you still heard him loud and clear, because you burst out laughing right after.

“What the hell did you just say?” you laughed, turning on your stomach and opening the call, now entirely focused on the timer that counted every second you spent talking to him instead of your Twitter timeline.

“It’s embarrassing, don’t make me repeat it!” And for that sole reason, you wanted him to repeat it, loud and clear.

“Is this why you were so insistent on me coming down to Florida? So I could pretend to be your girlfriend at your cousin’s wedding so your family doesn’t think you’re a loser?” you laughed, finding the situation entirely absurd as he sputtered, words mashing together, trying to defend himself.

“No! No, I wanted you to come here because we’re friends and I-I wanna meet you, this is just a… benefit, of sorts.” he replied, and you couldn’t help but laugh even harder at his poor attempt of trying to save face.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” you chuckle. “What’s in it for me?”

“Whatever you want.” he responded, much too quick. Your eyebrows raised.

“Whatever I want?” you parroted.

“Yes.” he confirmed. “I’ll buy you something, if you want; I’ll even pay you-”

“Pay me?! I’m not a whore, Dream!” 

“That is not AT ALL what I was saying!” he cut in, yelling as you burst into a new fit of laughter. “It’s just… I sort of already told them I have a girlfriend and I was just hoping you’d say yes ‘cause it’s gonna be very awkward if I show up without the girlfriend in question.” 

You put your head in your hands and he sort of dryly laughed at himself when he heard your palm hit your forehead. “What is wrong with you, man?” 

“Listen, it’s not gonna be so bad! Just stay by my side for a bit, look pretty, we’ll get some drinks, and then dip. That’s it, I promise.” he reasoned.

“And here I thought we were gonna make out in front of everyone. What’s a fake relationship if we don’t make a show out of it?” you sarcastically snickered, and could practically see his eyeroll from miles away.

“If that’s what you want, then we’ll do it, by all means.” he replied and you laughed, shaking your head in mild disbelief.

“Alright, well, if you already told them, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you huffed, pretending to be way more bummed out about it than you really were. “I’ll do it.” 

“Thank you so much, oh my God.” he replied and you chuckled at the sheer relief in his voice.

A few seconds of silence pass. “What’s the catch?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“How do you want me to publicly embarrass myself in exchange for this favor?”

“Personally, I think that forcing you to tweet that tweet about pissing yourself in bed again and also tweeting that everyone should subscribe to me isn’t “publicly embarrassing” at all.” 

“Maybe I should’ve picked a different fake girlfriend.”

“Sucks to suck, pissbaby.”

The weeks leading up to your meetup felt like years, with every treacherous minute of you two talking over muffled mics and shitty webcams feeling longer than it should, your empty apartment feeling emptier and emptier by the day. Was it even possible to miss a person you hadn’t even met yet? 

It turns out that it very much was, because as soon as the painfully long weeks were up and you were finally metres away from him, you jumped in his arms like a woman finally seeing her soldier husband after the war, standing on your tiptoes while he bent down the best he could to hug you back. His chest rumbled with a warm laugh when you turned your head ever so slightly towards his ear.

“Hello, boyfriend.” And just like that, the warm turned into a groan of faux annoyance while you burst into laughter and he pulled away, scanning your face with an equally annoyed look.

“I should’ve never asked you for that. You’re never letting it go, are you?” Yeah, you were kind of annoying with the amount of corny boyfriend jokes you threw his way - you had to give him that. But then again, he crafted his own fate and now he must accept the consequences.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise your majesty wasn’t appreciating the work I’m doing! I just won’t show up at that wedding, how about that?” you bit back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re such an idiot.” he laughed. “Give me those bags.”

A blissful week had passed, and he hadn’t pissed you off in real life nearly as much as you thought he would. It took a bit of getting used to to his family calling him Clay instead of his beloved internet username, and you did get a couple of suggestive looks from his mother the first few times she visited - you had a couple of “eye conversations” in which she never exactly asked if you were his girlfriend, and you never exactly denied it, but you knew both of you felt the weight of the unspoken words yet you had to keep everything secret and ambiguous. Or at least you thought you did, before he revealed to you that he told his mom the two of you were dating already. Seems like the glances were knowing and not questioning. Maybe you weren’t as good at eye conversation as previously thought.

Living with him was fine, mostly because he had godly air conditioning and a house that was probably way too big for him, and also a very cute cat that followed you everywhere and made living with a man for a full two weeks way more bearable. Finding out that he can’t cook was one of the most bizarre revelations about him that you’d had in the years of your friendship, and you demanded he watched as you made chicken wraps. You complained about how he was 21 and couldn’t cook for himself, he complained about how it’s 2021 and he can just order from Chipotle or something, dude.

A week of goofing around and trying to hide the fact the two of you temporarily lived together from the internet had passed quicker than it should’ve, and for the first time in seven days, Netflix was turned off and the two of you were dressing up for the wedding, ready to set off with his parents and younger sister. He spent ages trying to convince you to match with him, which was quite literally impossible because he wore a black suit and you brought a red dress, which resulted in the two of you roaming around a local mall at 10 am, half asleep, looking for a reasonably formal black dress, because of course Dream always got his way.

An hour of arguing and your fashion tastes clashing later, you picked an off shoulder black dress with a high slit, along with a pair of pumps, both of which you forced him to pay for, and went back home, ready to glam both of you up as much as humanly possible because you were not ready to let him show up in some horrendous pair of shoes and claim to be your boyfriend. 

“Is this okay?” you questioned, turning from the mirror to face him and let him be the judge of your shimmery black and white eyelids, spending way too much time on a makeup look for a wedding of someone whose name you didn’t even know. He blinked at you as his judging gaze washed over you like a wave, scanning you up and down while you nervously cocked your head, leg tapping in faux impatient annoyance to cover up the fact that you felt like prey under his eyes. 

“It’s… yeah, it is. You look good.” Dream confirmed, nodding his head at you in a movement that was way too quick and snappy and you turn back to the mirror with a huff, watching him stare right back at you. 

“Too much, right? I should try something else.” You say, grabbing your makeup remover wipes, but he cuts in before you can even wipe a single smudge.

“No, no, it looks good, I promise. Really good. Don’t touch it.” Something way too sincere in his voice makes the air tense, more tense than usual, but you drop it, deciding to just take the compliment with a tight lipped smile.

“Okay. You ready?” you ask, and he nods, nervously straightening out his suit before looking back at you with an anxious grin.

“Yeah, I think so. Do I look fine?” 

He did. He looked more than fine. You’d never seen him actually dress up for something and put proper care into his looks - he was practically forced into doing it by you this time as well - so seeing him in an actual black suit, all formal and expensive looking, messy dirty blond hair properly combed for the first time in ages, made you gulp and look away. You sort of never understood the argument that women and men can’t be friends because you were never attracted to one of your male friends, ever. Dream was born to be an exception to every rule, it seemed. 

Realising that you abruptly looked away, you attempted to awkwardly clear your throat and smile at him.

“Yeah, you do. Let’s go.”

During the ride there, his mother seemed to finally explode and the words that have clearly wanted to pour out of her mouth for ages finally came out. You supposed it was better for the poor woman, and did your best to suppress a laugh when Dream dramatically sighed and leaned against the window when she nosily spoke up. 

“So… since when have you and Clay been together? He’s told us absolutely nothing!” She spoke up from the passenger seat, shifting to look at you, excited smile plastered on her face and you politely smiled back, mentally noting that you’d have to bully the shit out of him for acting like his mom is embarrassing him in front of his 8th grade crush.

“Ah, we’ve been friends for a long while, but we only started dating a month or so ago, because it’s hard doing long distance and all that.” you said, hoping it would sound believable enough because the two of you rehearsed this a few days ago, writing out a whole backstory from how you started dating to what exact words he used when he asked you out. There were a couple of arguments here and there, such as the fact you refused to say you confessed you’ve been in love with him for years and he refused to say he admitted he’s been your “bottom bitch” for 3 years but in the end, you somehow managed to agree on a cohesive timeline of events.

“Oh, does that mean you’re going to move here?” she questioned, and that one didn’t surprise you either, Dream having prepared a full list of answers to questions that people might ask in your notes app. He was a perfectionist to the point it got on your nerves, but that had its own perks.

“No, but I’ll definitely visit more often, and if it goes well, I might as well move here.” you smiled back at her and she nodded, going back to staring through the windshield. You and Dream exchange a relieved glance that you hope his younger sister doesn’t notice.

“Let me tell you, I was waiting for you two to get together! He always talked about you, I was getting tired of him, you know that?” she giggled and you widened your eyes at Dream who, snapping out of somewhat of a daze, immediately jumped to protest, light blush adorning his pale cheeks. 

“No, I didn’t! I did not, mom, don’t lie to her.” he argued while all she did was laugh.

“Oh come on, it’s not embarrassing now that you’re together!” she kept going, and his younger sister joined in, to make it even worse.

“Yeah, you do talk about her a lot, not gonna lie.” she spoke up and his cold glare directed her way told you everything you needed to know, hanging on by a thread not to burst out laughing. He refused to even look your way, turning back to the window as his cheeks started heating up. You couldn’t help but let out at least a bit of a giggle, placing your hand on his arm in fake comfort.

“It’s okay, you can admit it now.” your tone borderlined on mocking and he knew you’d make fun of him for days to come so he stayed silent while the rest of the car burst into laughter.

The wedding was truly beautifully set up, set in a hotel wedding venue, walls painted in pure innocent white with hints of gold here and there, and you nudged Dream as the two of you observed in awe, asking what sort of money the groom had to be able to afford this sort of expensive venue. Nudging him proved to be way easier now, because you linked arms - you originally made fun of him for suggesting to walk like that instead of holding hands like normal people, telling him you’d look like you were at your high school prom, but he persisted, and you didn’t end up looking as goofy as you thought. 

“He’s a doctor or something, pretty sure.” he replied, quick feet trudging down the long hallways, your own struggling to keep up with him, especially in your heels. He seemed to be in a rush to sit and get it over with as soon as possible so he could avoid any nosy family members, but bad luck followed him everywhere, it seems, because as soon as you two entered the place where the bride and groom would unite, at least three different pairs of eyes locked on you, and you immediately saw a fairly elderly woman get up with open arms, staring at Dream with a grin on her face. You saw him immediately tense up, and almost laughed right then and there.

“There’s my boy! Oh, you’ve grown so much, come here!” The woman looked to be in her fifties and Dream let go of your arm to nervously laugh and fall into her hug, the two rocking from side to side as she kept going on about how it seemed that he grew taller and taller every time she saw him. 

When the two pulled away, her eyes fixed on you, judgingly scanning from head to toe and you suddenly realised why Dream tensed up the way he did - old white women sure had a way to make you anxious. Thankfully, he stepped in. 

“Aunt Bessie, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is aunt Bessie, my mom’s older sister.” he generously offered the explanation you were so obviously lacking and you grinned, as if that information helped you in any way, and stuck out your hand in an offer of a handshake. However, she seemed to have different plans, because as soon as she heard the words “my girlfriend” her face lit up as if she won the lottery and her lips stretched into a smile, opening her arms for you the same way she did for him. 

“Oh my God, you finally got a girlfriend? Come here!” she said, shaking her head at your outstretched hand and gesturing you to return the hug which you quite hesitantly did, politely laughing as she hugged you tighter than you’d deem appropriate. Dream came from a family of huggers - that much was apparent from him, you guess, but you weren’t exactly prepared for this.

Aunt Bessie seemed to be way louder and screechier than expected, because the word “girlfriend” boomed through the room and off the snowy walls, and at least five other family members of his turned around to check who the lucky fellow that finally got a girlfriend was. Another one of his aunts seemed to notice the commotion and suddenly, another older woman with shoulder length, dyed blonde hair, along with her two younger kids, was hurling at you as well. 

“I always complained to him that it was about time he got a girlfriend! He’s a fine young man, no wonder you picked him, honey.” Aunt Bessie shot you a knowing look and you closed your mouth in a tight lipped smile in a feverish attempt to keep down the laugh that threatened to escape you. 

“Oh yeah, he definitely is.” you giggled, looking up at Dream again who looked like he wanted the earth below his feet to open and swallow him whole. Before you could nudge him in the ribs and tease him for hours to come, the other aunt suddenly spoke up.

“Clay! Oh my gosh, is that you?” she exclaimed, shocked grin on her face, and you briefly wondered if Dream ever even visited his family. He nervously smiled, obviously not really sure who this woman even is, but he hugged her back anyway, clearly walking the line between ‘happy to see his family’ and ‘insanely uncomfortable’.

“I haven’t seen you in so long, your dad hasn’t visited since we moved to Toronto! Look at how tall you are, you’re taller than my husband now! You used to be so tiny, whatever happened to you?” Upon hearing the word Toronto he seemed to realise who he was talking to as his eyes softened, and you wondered if he really was so expressive or you could just read him that well.

“I grew up, I guess.” He awkwardly laughed and she laughed harder than she should’ve before turning to you.

“Oh, and who is this?” She said, gaze periodically switching between him and you, a knowing smile on her face which told you she definitely knew who you were.

“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is… my dad’s cousin, Mabel.” He introduced, large hand landing on your back, and you felt like you were experiencing déjà vu at the way her face lit up at the mention of a girlfriend. 

“Wow, it’s so nice to meet you, Y/N!” She said, energetically shaking your hand, before turning back to Dream. “You never told us you got a girlfriend! You’re finally planning on settling down, huh?” 

Your head snapped in his direction at the speed of light when she mentioned settling down, and you could see him tense up as well as he nervously laughed.

“Yeah, we haven’t visited in a while, so nobody from the family really knew. And, uh… we haven’t really thought of that yet, we’re taking it slow and everything.” He said and you were almost in awe at how good he was at bullshitting. The woman did nothing but laugh.

“Ah, don’t lie to me, I see the way you two look at each other! It’s your wedding we’ll be attending next!” She winked, and just as Dream got ready to fake laugh once again, her family called her over and she excused herself, walking off.

The two of you hurried to your seats as well, sitting down next to his younger sister. 

“Your family is insane, man, holy shit.” You laughed in disbelief, staring at him as he shook his head, clearly as distressed as you were.

“Literally nobody in this family gives a single fuck if I’m single or not except the old aunties. And I seem to have a shit ton of those.” He muttered under his breath. “The way you look at each other - I literally didn’t even look at you properly that whole time!” 

You cackled at that one, hitting his arm. “She’s right, Clay. You’re one fine young man, eh?” You nudged him as he groaned in embarrassment, only turning your way to glare at you. 

You didn’t get to tease him for much longer, though, because the organ started playing and the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up, the groom standing at his designated place. The bride walked in, arms locked with her father, thin white veil covering her face as she walked down the aisle, looking angelic in her puffy wedding gown. Silky brown hair fell down her shoulders, curled towards the ends, and you could see the hint of blood red lipstick beneath the veil. She looked beautiful - the groom seemed to think so as well, because you could see him tapping the corner of his eye lightly, wiping any stray tears.

She finally made it to the end and stepped to face her soon-to-be husband as her father moved away, sitting back in his chair. The wedding officiant stepped up, and held a speech much longer than it should be, which just led you to zone out. 

One day you’d be beneath that veil, wouldn’t you? One day, you’ll face your fiancé the same way she is, and you’ll let your hearts link with a string that nobody but the two of you could snap. Who would that be, though? Who could you even trust with your heart in their hands? And you’re not aware of how and why and when, but your eyes shot up at Dream, whose eyes also glinted in that way where you knew he wasn’t paying attention, and maybe he was thinking about the same thing as you. Maybe one day, you’ll be attending his wedding, forcing one of your friends to play a fake boyfriend as he wipes his tears, waiting for his bride to get to him. 

It was disheartening, the thought of being a bystander while he locks lips with somebody else. You supposed you just liked being the center of attention, so you let yourself pretend you were his bride in your daydreams. Separating daydreams from rational thoughts was mandatory, because you weren’t sure how you’d explain to yourself that you can’t stand seeing Dream marry someone else. 

Dream, the infamous hopeless romantic, still seemed out of it, maybe even a little emotional, despite not being that close with either of the two. He was probably thinking about his own wedding as well, thinking about his future, the face he’d see when he pulled back the veil.

Just then, his eyes darted to yours, and you realised you were caught staring, snapping your head back to the couple that started reading their vows by now. You started going red from the neck up, cheeks on fire as you could feel his gaze burning into you. He turned back after a few seconds, though, probably assuming you stared at him because you were bored, and neither of you spoke, even though you kind of wish you did. What even is there to say, though? 

By the time you snapped back, the “I do”s were already being said, and her veil was getting lifted, showing her beauty to everyone present, and as they kissed the whole room bursted into cheers and applause in support of the newlyweds. The two exit, teary eyed, their parents follow close behind, and that’s when Dream’s family rushes both of you to your feet, following the two into the reception hall where the actual party would take place. 

From then on, the wedding is the same as any other. The two have their first dance, they give a welcoming speech, and Dream lets you stuff your face with cake and repeatedly refills your wine glass as repayment for dragging you into this whole thing. At some point, he stretches his hand out to you and asks for a dance like a rom-com main character, and you’re not sure exactly why he did that because he’s mostly terrible at dancing, but you had fun letting him twirl you until you got dizzy anyway.

You also realised just how much he did actually need a fake girlfriend, because it seemed like every twenty minutes some sort of relative of his would walk up to the two of you and congratulate him on “finally getting a girlfriend”. You ended up bullying him for that as well, wondering just how long he’s been single for if they’re all this surprised that he’s got a girlfriend, to which he just downed the glass of water he’d been sipping for half an hour and asked you about the weather.

His family took a few pictures with the new couple - you even got to speak to the bride at some point, congratulating her and wishing the two of them well, but in the span of a few hours, the wedding was over and the newlyweds made a great exit, signifying the end of the party. The two of you were driven home by his parents, and you waved them goodbye as you stumbled to the front door, your heels insanely uncomfortable and the red wine in your stomach weighing down on you; you just wanted to get out of this dress and into a pair of pajamas and pass out on his couch in the living room. 

That’s sort of exactly what you did - you half-assed taking your makeup off, wiping down your face a couple of times, deciding that was enough before changing into some worn pajamas and plopping down on the couch next to Dream who already claimed his place and sunk into the cushion while a random movie played on the TV. The two of you basked in the comfortable silence that surrounded you, the exhausted, tired type. You both appreciated the quiet and fell asleep sitting next to each other, wedding already forgotten.

That night, he went from Dream to Clay.

The departure was bittersweet. You left two days after that, your hug at the airport tight, warm, filled with a sugary sweet feeling you couldn’t quite place and sour acid that ate away at you because you didn’t want to leave in the slightest. His arms were warm, inviting, whispering for you to stay but you left anyway, waving him goodbye, setting off to home. 

It seemed like all your problems came and went with him, because a week later, at 3 in the morning while you were up editing a video, you got an all caps message on your Discord from Sapnap.

“YOU’RE DATING DREAM?”

You blinked at your computer screen, white letters blinding you in the dark, brain trying to keep up with why he even thought that. Within 10 seconds, another message, this time from Dream.

“so i told george and sapnap that we’re dating”

“don’t kill me pls” 

Yeah, you weren’t going to kill him, per se, but he definitely made your life a lot harder than it should be. You opened Discord, Premiere Pro and the unedited video abandoned, typing back to Clay quickly.

“WHY”

He responded immediately, as one panicked man does.

“they’ve been making fun of me for being single for ages now :(“

“we already did this fake dating thing before and it went perfectly fine”

“just play along for a month or so”

“pls”

You audibly sighed. And as if he could hear you, he started typing again.

“i’ll promote you on my channel more”

“just pls do it”

“you love me, right” 

Another sigh fell from your lips before you could stop it. Of course you did, because if you didn’t, there’s no way you would be playing into this. You typed back.

“fine”

He messaged back immediately.

“THANK YOU”

“LOVE YOU <333”

With a shake of your head, you mumbled “idiot” with the ghost of a smile flashing on your face, switching back to your video, opting to ignore Sapnap for a little bit. He could wait. 

Fake dating seemed pretty damn easy during the first week - you thought you were killing it by sending corny tweets and staged selfies so he could screenshot them and send them to the groupchat, giggling on call about how oblivious they are and how you’re fooling them so good, both of you opting to ignore the parts where they claimed they knew the two of you were gonna get together eventually. It was fun, lighthearted, and an excuse to flirt with someone you had nothing official with.

As much as all your problems came and went with Clay, though, they came and went with his friends as well, especially that hopeless man Clay called his best friend. 

Because yeah, of course Sapnap was the one to accidentally spill to the public that the two of you were “dating”.

George was streaming at what was apparently a normal time in the UK, not so much for Florida, and Clay was sleeping while you were watching his stream while making some food for yourself. It was going fine, a bit of a chill stream, and you leaned against the fridge as your oven preheated, tired eyes following his Minecraft skin. 

“Sophie, thank you for the dono! ‘Hey George, I love your videos, just wanted to ask if you were speedrunning with Dream today?’” he read out, and you could faintly hear Sapnap join the stream through your headphones. 

“No I’m not, Dream’s… I don’t know what Dream’s doing right now, actually. He’s not responding to me, though. Probably talking to his girlfriend still.” he continued, exaggerating the last part mockingly, still playing into the whiny role of being upset that Clay was ditching the two of them for you. That majorly woke you up, though, as you stood straight on your feet immediately, because oh no, nobody was supposed to know.

You exited out of the Twitch app quickly, letting the stream play in the background as you tried to fish for Sapnap’s profile on Discord and text him as quick as possible, trying to warn him to not let anybody know, but before you could do it, you heard his laughter clear in the stream.

“Yeah, Y/N, his sweetie poo.” Sapnap said, causing George to laugh even louder, before moving onto the next topic, and your heartbeat picked up an insane amount, nails loud and probably damaging your phone screen as you typed as quickly as humanly possible to yell at him because this was not planned, at all.

You heard him go quiet after you shot him a couple of messages over Discord (“SAPNAP” “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” “NOBODY KNOWS YET” “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU”), type something to George who then fell quiet as well for a few seconds, pure horror on his face, and then went back to streaming as if nothing happened while Sapnap profusely apologised to you on his and George’s behalf.

No apology could fix what had already been done, though, and you were left alone with the warzone that was Twitter who had already speculated the two of you were dating long before while Clay peacefully slept somewhere in his house at 4 am in Florida. You bombarded him with messages and waited until he woke up ‘cause what were you even supposed to do?! 

You chose to spend your time finishing the pizza you were originally supposed to make and almost burnt your whole apartment down because you forgot the oven was on for a whole hour while yelling at Clay’s idiotic best friends. You yelled at Sapnap, who kept apologising to you, you yelled at George, who yelled back that it’s not that big of a deal because people were bound to find out anyways, and you yelled at Clay, because he was the guilty one somehow for not being awake during your breakdown. 

He did eventually wake up though, to the shitshow that were his notifications with at least thirty messages from each of you, messages from his other YouTube friends who were fairly surprised, and his entire fanbase going ham on Twitter. He was surprisingly calm about it - calmer than you were, anyways, and sheepishly said over the phone that the fake dating thing may have to go on for a little longer since you couldn’t just date for a month and then break up, and you were sort of okay with that.

And of course, the business side of him awoke at that moment, and he giddily told you about the amount of views the two of you could pull if you did the same shit you do with George and Sapnap anyway, but on livestream. 

You rolled your eyes.

And then agreed anyway. 

And so, the charade began.

His Twitter statement was up shortly, telling the people that you’d been dating for a couple of weeks and weren’t planning to tell anybody yet until a certain someone spilled their guts live, and the fact Dream was dating someone, let alone another popular streamer, took the internet by storm. You expected hate, and you got quite a bit of that, but the people that had shipped the two of you before were certainly more than delighted and a lot of Clay’s fans were supportive. 

Now, both of you had excuses to do chill streams together and just hang out and you took the opportunity and ran with it. 

You’d sit and play Geoguessr or just try and speedrun Minecraft a bunch of times for hours on end, doing stupid bits and things you’d be doing offline anyways, with a little more flirting than usual, because that’s what made it interesting.

“Oh this is France, for sure.” you claimed one night, two or three weeks after the secret was officially out, chewing on the fries you bought for this specific occasion, streaming on his alt to a few thousand people. 

“You think so? It could be Belgium, too.” he responded, humming in thought as he looked around.

“I know so.” you responded.

“How?” 

“I just do. Gamer intuition, babe.” you said, and he wheezed at your response, repeating the words gamer intuition under his breath.

“No, seriously. It is France, I know it is, I’ve seen so many pictures of that place I know it like the back of my hand now. That’s Lyon, or something.” you continued, plopping another french fry into your mouth.

“You have? Why do you know so much about France, that’s so random.” he responded, opening the map and pointing to France, although he keeps looking around, unsure of his decision.

“I dunno, I like it there. I wish I could move there.” you replied.

“Why, though?” 

“It’s pretty and heavily romanticised! Just like me!” you joked and he laughed, before letting you continue. “I dunno, it’s the city of love. Be a little romantic.” 

“The… the city of love is whatever city the two of us are in.” he said, and it took a few seconds for you to process the joke before letting out a fake disappointed sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone as corny as you.” 

At that, he bursts into wheezes, and you follow along, enjoying the sound of his laughter coursing through your headphones more than you used to a few weeks back. It feels nice, feels right, acting like this. You like calling him your boyfriend more than you think you should. 

A few weeks go by, and it feels all too natural. It feels too natural, talking to him first thing in the morning when you’ve barely even had your coffee, calling him pet names, throwing sweet words at each other publicly like they mean nothing. It feels all too natural, and nice, and all too right, and you don’t even notice when the two of you cross the line between public and private, and you’re stuck making stupid jokes about making out when you first see each other when there’s nobody to witness them except the walls of your rooms, but you don’t like thinking about that, because you know it’ll bring nothing but confusion. The current this that the two of you have is perfect to you, perfectly lighthearted and funny and fun, and you intend on keeping it that way, refusing to think about it in any way past jokes.

That is, until you can’t anymore.

It’s late, again, and you’re staring at his contact name on your phone screen, lazily lying on the bed. It reminds you of a night from roughly 3 months ago, when your whole friendship seemed to change in the few seconds it took you to process what he’d asked of you, and it feels weird, but nice.

“My mom really likes you, you know?” Clay breaks the quiet that you’ve learned to appreciate in his presence, and you exhale through your nose, the noise just short of a chuckle.

“Yeah?” You laugh, and he does as well.

“Yeah.” He reaffirms. “She thinks you’re a great girlfriend. Apparently I seem brighter ever since we got together.”

You laugh again. “I am a great girlfriend, to be fair. She’s totally right.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t know that. If you’re as good of a girlfriend as you pretend to be, though, then you’re amazing.” He says, and words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them. 

“Yeah? You wanna find out?” The flirty nature is nothing strange to the two of you, but this time it feels kinda different, it feels like you’re stepping into dangerous territory that there’s no coming back from. You feel like you’ve ruined everything, for some reason.

He laughs, like normal, though. He laughs like nothing happened at all, and you’re so, so grateful for that.

“Sure, let’s do it. You’re about to unpack the full Clay boyfriend experience.” He snickers and you laugh as well. 

“That means I just unlock the dick as well as the personality.” you respond, quick as always, and the wheeze that escapes him is so loud that it makes you laugh too.

“...Unlock the dick…” he repeats through another wheeze and you nod, laughing.

“Yeah! I mean I’m literally experiencing the boyfriend experience without actually having a boyfriend, it’s fuckin’ great.” you say and he hums.

“You could have one, though.” 

The implications are crazy, his words are crazy, he’s crazy and everything that he could mean and couldn’t mean by that is driving you crazy too, brain faltering and heart seeming way too big for your chest to contain it. It’s silent.

“I could, I guess.” 

You choose to say, and he switches the topic naturally, like he never said anything.

Things are never the same again.

It’s not in a bad way. Sure, it is kind of a bad way for the feelings you’re trying to push down inside you, a bad way for hot nights when the unbearable heat forces you to stay up even when you don’t want to and you have no choice but to think about why you feel the way you feel as you melt into the burning sheets below you, a bad way for when he jokes about finding somebody else and you feel your stomach churning. A bad way for realising that this fake dating thing is really getting to you, but not a bad way in general.

Maybe it’s in a good way. Maybe the underlying implications whenever he makes jokes about making the relationship real are good, maybe the way he calls you in the middle of the night when he’s anxious and freaking out and defends himself by saying: “You’re my girlfriend, you’re always there for me, I just figured I could call you.” and you end up wondering if it’s possible to say jokes in such a vulnerable state or if he’s serious is good, maybe the way it’s been a few months and he won’t tell his own best friends that it was a joke the whole time is good, maybe the way you confronted him about it and he said he likes having you as his girlfriend is good. 

Maybe the way the two of you are always walking the line between joking and being serious, between being friends and something more, between lies and pranks and emotional investment and fear of committing, and the way you’re always trying to push the other off, is good. 

The fans love it. The fanart is incredible (serves especially well for those hot nights when you can’t fall asleep and you scroll, watching yourself fall in love with Clay in every universe, tales told by people who observe your story and find it worthy enough to retell in their own words, to take the love you pretend to have and turn it into something real), people love to gush over the compliments he sprinkles in at random times during conversation and the general flirty dynamic is loved by many, pulling in more views and attraction for you. 

And you suppose that’s good too, but at some point, the good warps into bad, bad warps into terrible, and you wonder if this is all even worth the sleepless nights, wondering if he feels the same way.

Those thoughts haunt you more and more often every day. When you wake up, and text him first thing in the morning, your brain acknowledges that the camera is off - nobody’s around, people aren’t listening, so why are you still playing the role of a girlfriend and starting up a conversation with him when you haven’t even brushed your teeth properly? When you’re editing in the middle of the day and he calls to keep you company, making more stupid boyfriend jokes, your stomach flips in a weird way that makes you hate him, hate the way he can joke about these things so freely, like it doesn’t hurt him. Like it doesn’t affect him like it affects you. 

But, as much as you wish you could hate him, you couldn’t bring yourself to, and that was the worst part. Because, in reality, whenever he laughed you’d smile without realising you did, whenever anything exciting happened to you he was the first one you went to, whenever you wanted to laugh or cry or sit in silence for hours or complain you always went to him, the one person who you know would listen. In reality, whenever he made a joke about giving up on the fake dating and making it real, you wished so bad that he was serious this time, that this was what it took and he’d crack and all of your suffering would end.

It eventually happens.

It’s a pretty chilly morning, birds chirp outside and the sun that slowly rises is covering the kitchen floor in a golden hue as you pour milk into your cereal with one hand and hold your phone in the other, letting Clay ramble about whatever it was this time, when he brought it up.

“So, when do you wanna come down to Florida again?” he asks casually, and you almost drop the gallon of milk in your hand. 

“What?” 

“I said, when are you coming down to Florida again? Last time you came was pretty fun.” he says, and an empty silence follows. There’s an unsaid “I miss you” that you don’t hear, and he’s too afraid of saying it. 

“Florida wasn’t exactly on my schedule this month, man.” you say, placing your phone on the counter for a second. Clay sure knew how to surprise a person.

“Well put it down, then.” he jokes, and you hum.

“What, you got another wedding coming up?” you giggle and he groans - you never really stopped making fun of him for that wedding.

“No, I don’t. Can’t a man just miss seeing his beloved girlfriend?” It’s unbelievable how quickly dread can wash over you as soon as he makes one of those jokes. You were convinced the mix of anxiety and butterflies that appears in your stomach was gonna kill you sometime soon.

“He can, he’s just being weirdly insistent.” you argue nonetheless. “But sure, I’ll consider it.”

You do more than consider it - in a few weeks, you’re back at the airport, and falling into his arms has never given you such an adrenaline rush in your whole life. Something about having him wrapped around you, close to you, the warmth of his body radiating into yours sent you spiraling, head clouded with nothing but love and the fact that you wish you could stay there forever. You wished you could press pause and cherish the moment, let yourself bask in that feeling of pure love, pure adoration that you helplessly drowned in. But you couldn’t, and you left his arms feeling oddly empty. 

Hiding the fact that you were unapologetically head over heels for him proved to be a hundred times more difficult when you were right there, next to him, talking to him, when you could just kiss him any second, feel his lips on yours and nobody would stop you - the opportunity was right there, looming over you, the devil on your shoulder taunting you, telling you to do it. 

You got to wake up in the same house as him, watch his hair stick out in different directions and his raspy morning voice as he complained about the smell of your coffee, watch his eyes glint whenever he talked about something he liked and observe as he carried around Patches like a little baby. You got to experience every bit of domestic without the consequences of committing, and you wondered just how far this would go. For how much longer would the two of you blatantly ignore the fact that you were a couple that slapped the title “fake” on it because you were cowards who refused to admit what this truly was. 

Not for long, apparently, because you grew tired, and decided to put an end to everything on one random Thursday night - and if he hated you forever for it, then so be it. 

You were sitting on his couch, watching a random movie together, drowning in one of his Dream hoodies while you chewed the popcorn he made. It was dark outside, just past midnight, and you could see the branches of a tree swaying calmly through one of the nearby windows - the silence while he scrolled through his phone lazily was comforting too, everything was lazy and serene and it would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the constant anxiety that gripped you by the throat whenever you were in his close proximity, the nervousness that killed you, the upset feeling of wanting to cuddle up with him but knowing you can’t because you guys are just friends, and nothing more.

The couple on the screen kiss while a violin plays in the background - how fitting. Maybe that’s what pushes you to the edge, or maybe you were just that sick and tired.

You were exhausted, beyond exhausted. Your eyes were tired, the anxiety was morphing into annoyance and anger and you were ready to give up on it all. If this ended the friendship, at least you two had a good run. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know, you still owe me a favor in return for pretending to be your girlfriend.” you say, and you sound gone, zoned out, more than you wish you were. You hear his phone turn off with a click.

“Yeah? What do you want?” Clay asks, and you blankly stare at the TV for a few seconds before turning to face him, eyes burning. 

“Kiss me.” 

It’s silent. The characters on screen are arguing. You hear the wind through one of his open windows.

“What?” he asks, voice cracking, and his expression falls. You’ve fucked it. Oh well.

“I want you to kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like someone’s watching and you wanna make it believable.” you say, eyes boring into his, your words having nowhere near as much of an effect on yourself as they do on him. Your eyes sting like they’re being lit on fire, and your throat is sort of closing up, but it’s fine. “Let me have this before I go, because once I leave, I don’t wanna do this anymore, Clay. I can’t pretend like I don’t want you to introduce me as your girlfriend and fully mean it. I can’t lie to your face anymore.” 

Silence. Deafening silence, once again.

“I love you.” he blurts out, and you don’t even register it at first. “I don’t want this shit to be fake either. God, I really don’t. It hasn’t been fake for a while now, at least not on my part. I’m sorry, it’s just- it was easier to keep this bit going than it was to actually admit that I’m… into you.”

And once again, the room falls into silence, much like it always does whenever the two of you share moments like these.

And then, you burst into laughter.

“So… so you mean to tell me, that both of us have liked each other this whooooole fucking time, and just refused to admit it and ‘pretended to date’ instead?” you burst into giggles, and he looks sort of hesitant to laugh, but he does anyway.

“I mean… yeah? I was waiting for you to call me out for doing all that when nobody was watching! Why did you never call me out?! Don’t blame me, I made it so damn obvious that I wanted you!” he protests, and you almost can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“Excuse me? You should’ve just fucking told me instead of making a million and one jokes about how I’m your girlfriend! We’re not in middle school, Clay!” you argue.

“Yeah, but I thought you’d catch on and talk to me about it at some point! You never called me out for anything!”

“So what, I’m supposed to just read your mind now? You’re fucking unbelievable.” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away in annoyance. As soon as a warm hand lands on your shoulder, though, the annoyance melts like wax under fire, leaving nothing behind.

“I still haven’t returned that favor, you know?” he whispers in your ear, breath fanning your neck, closer than he should be. The hairs on your neck stand up as you turn back to Clay, who wore a mischievous grin and a glint in his eyes that suggested no good. 

You suppose bad can be good, sometimes. 

As his lips press onto yours, that theory is proven true, because he sends a flicker of fire burning down your spine, spreading into your limbs, making your fingertips electric as you pulled him in closer, hand snaking up to grip at his hair - the everlasting grin against your own proves, once again, to be no good as his hands slip under your hoodie and grip your sides, but you think you enjoy this sort of bad. 

They sneak up further, and you hear him chuckle into the kiss as your insides melt at his touch. The two of you silently agree that maybe he should ask for favors more often.

[silvermuffins]

As for tonight, gardening with Aigis! She is so precious. Oh, Junpei meets his loligoth again. Cold shoulder, bloody hand. Chidori <3

Ken is the man of the hour, but I'm gonna hit up Kurosawa for a gear upgrade first. And....whoof. I think I'm just gonna make it to September, then call it. My sleep schedule has been fucked, and my mind is beginning to wander distant galaxies.

Ken is trying SO HARD to act like he's not really excited and didn't know or strongly desire to go see the superhero crossover collection. It's ok kid I definitely believe you. You'll be patient with how much I like Amoebaman, who I am definitely familiar with and did not just hear of right now when you said it.

GET TO YOUR SEAT KIDDO I WILL GET THE POPCORN.

For real though, I love seeing excited kids at the movies. I get the stupidest grin anytime I'm selling tickets to a kids movie to a family, and the parents look at this little kid and tell me it's their first time going to a movie theater. Or when a babe in arms waves at me or does like, E.T. Phone Home fingers with me through the glass. For older kids, if they're paying any attention to me, I'll often proffer the tickets in a way where they could be the one to take them, instead of their parent. They're kids. I try to make going to the movies just a tiny bit more special for them. I think all of us do. We'll forgive them a lot of things that annoy us, too. Within reason.

Ken's trying so hard to play it cool, like he's just killing time. I'd play along but low-key try to give him the best seats in the house.

Oh my god this movie is so cheesy, I would be SO happy if we played something like this at work. 48 heroes... Minato feels like he could transform. Surely I will be able to acquire Featherman suits...

Heeeee. Gosh Ken is one of my favorites. He's just chattering away. C'mon kiddo let's get burgers or something. Adults get excited about movies too.

Needless to say, I will be watching TV with Koromaru tonight. Pubby is determined!

It is now back to school. Girls kinda thinking Apathy Syndrome might be a relief. People are getting used to it. Wait, shit, I need to know things already?

Okay! I am officially in September, and I'm gonna call it before deciding what to do with my time. Thank you for putting up with the rambling about working at the movies in the middle of this liveblog.

At some point I will get back to writing my fics. They are not given up on, but there is a reason I have never ever committed to a steady schedule.

For now, the Reload liveblog continues. And maybe eventually I'll figure out how to make the crossover with loz that has been suggesting itself in the top-back of my skull work.

But for now, Tartarus ain't gonna climb itself.

Oh hey Tumblr finally memorized the tags I use for these!

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n, tubbo and jack - we built a boat

requested: yes/no

this is part 10 to the great adventures series

you didn’t actually expect to be filming a vlog with tubbo and jack today, you were spending one of you last days away from home with lani at the beach, not knowing that tubbo and jack would make you join them. you ended up finding several rocks you liked and ran off to pick them up thinking tubbo would like them, so you put them in your pocket. whilst you were collecting rocks, lani was on the phone to tubbo letting him know you were actually at the beach if he wanted you to join him in the vlog.

“wait y/ns there? put them on the phone.”

“they’re in the water.”

“why?”

“ill ask, Y/N WHY ARE YOU IN THE WATER?!”

“I FOUND A ROCK THAT MATCHES RANBOOS BRAND BUT A WAVE TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME AND IM NOT LETTING POSEIDON WIN!”

“yeah they’re fighting Poseidon, where are you going to be? ill bring them to you.”

few minutes later you made your way to lani drenched in water.

“i fell…stop laughing!”

“im not!”

“you’re eyes are literally watering because you’re holding in your laughter, anyway look what i got you!”

you placed a clear quartz crystal and a piece of sea glass in lanis hand.

“thank you y/n!! wait this isn’t like your other rocks?”

“i know!! it’s clear quartz and sea glass. i felt like you should have it! i think it’s because i won the battle with Poseidon!”

“you fell.”

“shut up!”

“are you staying at ours again tonight?”

“think so… wanna turn the crystal into a necklace?”

“definitely!”

lani ended up taking you to where tubbo was, but didn’t tell you what was happening, you only found out when you looked up to see jack recording you and lani.

“hold up, guest appearance.”

“oh hi lani…y/n, guess what?”

you looked down to see the boat.

“oh fuck no!”

you walked away laughing, tubbo followed after you dragging you back to the others.

“they said they can’t wait to go on the boat with us jack!”

“how likely is he to be able to build this?? how likely are me and y/n going to drown??”

“uhm good chances!”

“of what?”

“lani, am i going to live or die?”

you laughed as lani walked away shrugging.

“tubbo how much money did you spend on this…”

“£50.”

“oh great i’m drowning today!”

you stood next to jack tilting your head as tubbo attached the sail to the pole.

“just remember if you two die, i’m in your will.”

“i didn’t write a will.”

“well that was your first mistake y/n did!”

“tubbo gets my rock collection, tommy gets whatever he wants just not the rock collection, ranboo gets whatever tommy doesn’t want, and you get what ranboo doesn’t want.”

a few minutes later you helped tubbo put the sail up whilst jack stood filming you both.

“this looks unsafe..”

“and muddy.”

“it’s unsafe and muddy but we’re trying our best.”

“jack didn’t do anything.”

“rude!”

you stood next to lani trying to convince her to go on the boat so you didn’t have to as tubbo tried to lasso jack. after being told no several times, you stood with jack whilst tubbo began to tie a figure of 8, you watched as tubbo began teaching you how to actually tie a figure of 8 using a really morbid story.

“…heh”

“why was that so morbid?”

“we like death on the tubbo channel!”

“i want to go home!”

“no!”

“okay!”

the three of you began to carry the boat out to the sea, however you crashed into something straight away.

“could be worse…could have hit a member of the public.”

“IM TRYING!”

“i can tell…it’s not good enough but i can tell.”

“…TO HIT SOMEONE!”

“NO!”

“my bad T bo!”

“what the fuck did you call me?”

as you were getting ready to go down the ramp, lani looked directly at you and tubbo who were now trying to push each other into the water.

“try not to hit little people in the water!”

“little people…”

“shall we waterproof up?”

you turned around a minute later only to have tubbo holding his phone up to your face after annoying jack with it .

“say hello.”

“hi there , please send help. i’m going to die!”

“ignore y/n, they’re just dramatic..i wouldn’t let them drown.”

you helped tubbo get the boat into the water as jack filmed the pair of you .

“it’s cold.”

“i’ve been in here before…i fell.”

“how cold was it?”

“very.”

“the weed of the sea is in my feet.”

“ew! what the fuck!”

lani noticed you had all let go of the boat and yelled at you all to grab the boat before it left you all behind, jack, and tubbo got in the boat, however you refused as lani kept yelling that the trailer was on.

“oh we’ve left the trailer on.”

“that’s what lani has been saying.”

tubbo got off to untie the trailer and you stood nervously laughing as the wheel fell off .

“i'm actually going to die!”

“it’s fineee!”

you helped jack get out the boat, so you could all fix the boat.

“he thinks we could be doing better.”

“i think everyone could think that.”

jack got on the boat first, then tubbo, who then helped you get onto the boat.

“off we go!”

for the first five minutes, the three of you sat yelling at each other what you all should be doing to make the boat go forwards.

“i quite like this.”

“we’re not moving!”

“exactly!”

soon enough you had figured it all out and waved goodbye to the others after they gave you a thumbs up.

“TO FRANCE!”

“so now what do we do?”

“pray.”

“heh?”

“to what?”

“god..say your final goodbyes we’re going to die!”

“hey that rhymed, you’re a genius!”

at this point the boat had completely stopped moving, however tubbo didn’t think this was the case, and began trying to turn the boat around as it was apparently going to shore, despite the fact you and jack were telling him you all hadn’t moved.

“so what’s the sail for?”

“i mean jack has a point you are paddling.”

“luck!”

“….HEH?”

“y/n you talk to technoblade too much.”

“i’ve been saying heh before i met tommy, what the fuck?”

“jack go up to the front, so y/n can sit next to me.”

jack moved and you sat next to tubbo.

“so how long does it take to go to france?”

“ahh you know, about 20 minutes.”

“how fast do you think we’re going bud?”

“on a, on a, on a train.”

“how would you get the train?”

“i don’t think the train can go across this..”

rather than answering that question tubbo decided he made a hit list.

“we’re going to just go through here.”

“…through where?”

“between the people.”

“NO!”

“you’re creating unnecessary danger.”

you and tubbo started bickering about why he suddenly decided that he was going to hit a bunch of people with the boat for no reason.

“fine you take control y/n!”

“tubbo you were going to kill them!”

“that’s just part of the sailing life!”

you just stared at tubbo shaking your head slightly, trying to process what just happened, then all of a sudden tubbo got up and put you in charge of controlling the boat. you were surprisingly good at it, which was lucky for tubbo and jack who were now leaning out of the boat claiming that they were hiking. they only stopped when the boat began to go faster and noticed you had no idea what you were doing.

“y/n is going to be the reason we crash!”

“yeah i will!”

“why do you sound happy about that?”

“eta france?”

“any second now.”

you decided to focus on making sure the boat was going where you wanted it to go, whilst the others yelled out to the sea occasionally yelling phrases in french as they claimed they could see the french. well you think tubbo was yelling phrases in french, however halfway through you were convinced he started just yelling things in a french accent as he revealed he didn’t actually know french, resulting in jack asking to go to russia as he knows russian.

“y/n, sail is to russia!”

“you know what i don’t wanna drive here you go jack it’s your turn.”

“I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!”

“we’re sick of this shit aren’t we y/n, jack take that…you’re on the wrong side switch sides with us.”

you all swapped sides and you and tubbo sat with your arms around each other instructing jack how to sail .

“yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“thats good now turn us and we’ll be in the wind.”

“we’re about to catch the wind.”

“JACK MANIFOLD GET READY!”

you all swapped sides again and tubbo whispered in your ear, as you sat next to him, about making the boat capsize so jack would go into the water, jack ended up doing a lot better than you and tubbo did, and you all actually started going pretty fast. however, there was absolutely no way you’d get to land any time soon. you sat laughing with tubbo whilst jack yelled about how he was a fisherman, and that’s why he was doing so well and how he studied their fins so he could find out how fish swim.

“for a £50 boat it’s done us well, look we’re sailing, the water cleaned the boat.”

“we havent died.”

“im a little wet, but not too bad.”

“must be nice.”

“oh yeah you fell earlier.”

“how?”

“they were fighting Poseidon.”

“huh?”

“they probably found a rock they liked and went to get it but it ended up in water.”

“…yeah.”

you all ended up catching the wind and tubbo decided to make you and jack do reaction images.

“help girl, i don’t know how to sail.”

“okay jack your turn, drive and film.”

“hey look i’m filming and driving!”

“no film me and y/n!”

jack filmed the pair of you, tubbo had his arm around you to prevent you from falling out of the boat as you had a habit of leaning out the boat to touch the water. you had no idea what to do so ended up copying tubbo, the pair of you took off your hats .

“tips fedora…what do you want to name our boat?”

“tubboat!”

“no way..”

“THE TUBBOATS REAL NOW!!”

it was around now you and tubbo claimed you were all drifting out to sea, and to just let the wind take you wherever it wants to, whereas jack claimed the boat wasn’t moving at all. you pointed at a boat which was moving a lot quicker than you were.

“HES GOT WIND!”

“WHERES OUR WIND?”

“he stole our wind.”

“we’re stranded jack,y/n.”

you noticed lani and waved out to her.

“LANI!”

“jacks sailing, hes getting sailing tips from my cousins!”

“great can he take us to land?”

“no.”

“YO WERE ZOOMING!”

“i hope we don’t capsize..”

“why would we?”

tubbo looked at you and you nodded back at him.

“hey jack we’re gonna tip this boat!”

and with that the pair of you stood up and began tipping the boat over whilst laughing.

“SUCKER WERE STILL DRY!”

“tubbo i’m about to fall!”

tubbo grabbed your hand keeping you up on the boat with him, you both even managed to get back in the boat without getting wet.

“no, if i’m in you have to be in too.”

jack pushed tubbo into the water tubbo then went on to pull you into the water with him.

“NO!”

“IM FREEZING!”

tubbo helped you onto the boat first as this was the second time you ended up in the water, and you were quite clearly cold, he got on after you. you sat on the boat as he filmed the outro and jumped back into the water. once jack ended the recording, you reached out your hand to tubbo helping him back onto the boat. the way back to shore was you and tubbo clinging onto each other trying to warm up, and the three of you making shit jokes, and enjoying each other’s company. you even made a few more plans for when ranboos in the uk. few hours later you had said goodbye to jack and went back to tubbos house, tubbo let you shower first while he stayed with lani as she streamed.

“chuck your clothes outside the door, i’ll put them in the dryer whilst you shower. you can change into these.”

tubbo gave you a hoodie from his merch collection that would be dropping soon, along with your pyjama pants, 30 minutes later you sat with lani whilst tubbo went off to shower, lani ended up finishing the stream after 15 minutes.

“wanna make the necklaces lani?”

“i’d love to!”

not long later tubbo joined the pair of you.

“oooh tubbo i got you some more rocks, they're over there with your phone.”

you ended up making a couple of them into necklaces for him, so the the three of you had something to help you remember the day.

“y/n, i hope you’re enjoying your stay, youll practically be living here for a few month soon.”

“wait their parents said yes?!”

“what are you all talking about?”

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 13 - Trouble [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Fights can be inevitable.

Series Masterlist

Oh God damn it.

This mission was not supposed to include anything from your real life, and it certainly was not supposed to include your real life ex-boyfriend.

Not only was this going to make things very, very complicated, it also put the entire operation in danger. No part of the background that was specifically created for your cover had any details on your ex relationships and you didn’t think you would have to come up with something now.

Well. For what it was worth, you weren’t the one who came up with it.

“Just joking man. I’m her ex-boyfriend but no worries, I pose no danger.”

Bucky didn’t even dignify that with an answer and you heaved a sigh, trying to control the anger bubbling in your stomach.

“Yeah,” you managed to say, “Yeah, we used to—um, we used to date.”

Bucky frowned, “Didn’t you say you moved here two months ago?”

“I did move here two months ago.”

“We used to date back in Oregon,” Julian explained and Bucky huhed.

“Yet here you are.”

“Yeah you know, the big apple,” Julian motioned around you, “I just got a job here and I figured I could come and see Y/N. Small town people have to look out for each other, you see.”

You gritted your teeth, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“She took you there yet?” Julian asked Bucky “Cannon Beach?”

“No,” you answered on his behalf and Julian clicked his tongue.

“I guess you could take him with you when you visit next month,” he said, “Surely you are visiting next month?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Come on, no way.” he said, his voice filled with disbelief. “It’s sand castles contest time, you love that contest!”

Right.

Julian had always been the best at playing the civilian and memorizing the back story of any cover. He was great at lying and that was why every mission you had gone on with him was that easy, he could fool anyone.

Including you.

“She came in fourth place two years ago, she made this dragon castle, you should’ve seen it.” He told Bucky, and you rolled your eyes.

Fourth place.

Easy enough to make someone believe, hard enough to find a trace of on the internet.

Julian was an asshole for sure, but he was a great spy and now you were beginning to remember why though every mission with him was a success, you had still avoided it even before your break up.

This was what he did, he took over every single assignment, no matter who was the leader.

Not this time. This was your mission and your mission only.

“Y/N, did you….” Julian let out a chuckle, “Did you tell him about the time your grandma caught us at the—“

“It was good so see you,” you cut him off, glaring at him “But you should probably go now, I’m kind of busy.”

Julian paused only for a moment before holding up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Okay,” he said, “It was nice to see you too. Again.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It was nice to meet you Bucky,” he said, “Take care of yourself, Y/N.”

He walked away from you and you closed your eyes for a moment, leaning your head back to the wall.

“Fuck this shit,” you murmured under your breath without even realizing it wasn’t something your cover would say, and opened your eyes to look up at Bucky.

“Was he bothering you or something?” he asked you and you scoffed.

“Please,” you muttered but then pulled yourself together. “He’s not…that type no. Just annoying, that’s all.”

“Are you sure? Because I can—“

“No,” you shook your head fervently, “No, please don’t. It’s fine, it’s just— who he is.”

How dare he?

How dare he try to take over your mission? You had put so much thought into this, coming up with multiple strategies, trying to convince yourself that-

That you were doing the right thing. Even if you felt yourself getting lost in this cover, it didn’t mean that Julian could swoop in and take this over as if you were a rookie agent in need of help.

This whole assignment belonged to you, not to anyone else.

If you were going to betray Bucky’s trust and feel like the most terrible person in the world, the least you could do was not let Julian take the credit.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” you attempted to change the subject and Bucky tilted his head.

“Come on Y/N, don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You don’t have to pretend like it’s fine,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you don’t have to pretend, ever.”

Okay, this was too much. You could almost feel your defenses going up, the whole hangover and stress and anger and now Bucky being able to tell you were faking something, it was all getting the best of you and if you weren’t careful, you would say something you would regret later.

“I’m sorry?”

“I just,” he took a deep breath, “Sometimes you’re like…too good to be true, you know? And Sam has this theory that you’re—you’re somehow you’re doing this for me or the people around you but you don’t have to.”

“You think I’m pretending?” you asked, your voice coming out way too defensive for your own cover but you could hardly care.

You were slipping, and you didn’t have the luxury to slip. It seemed to take Bucky by surprise because for the first time since you had met, you were-

Aggressive. That was the word. Less like your cover and more like your real self.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said and you let out a bitter chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah,” you said, “Okay. I’m kind of busy you see, I have so much to do at the shop so I should probably go back inside.”

“Y/N—“ he started but you pushed yourself off the wall.

“No it’s fine,” you managed to say, “This is me not pretending, for the record. I’ll see you later I guess.”

With that, you walked past him and went back to the milkshake shop, fury still poisoning your insides.

                                                 ***

You could hardly wait until you could go back to the base. Even though you thought that by then you would have calmed down, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You were fucking good at your job, and you were going to prove it to anyone and everyone. Without any help.

“Is he here yet?” you asked Chloe who rushed to greet you as soon as you stepped out of the elevator into the base and she cleared her throat.

“Who?”

“Don’t even, I know you heard what happened,” you cut her off and she shifted her weight.

“Yeah. I read his report.”

“Exactly. Where is he?”

“Okay, before I tell you where he is I feel like it’s important that you remember we’re not supposed to kill our own agents,” she said, “The paper work is a nightmare.”

“Where is he?”

“Keith says it’s considered rude to kill your team members.”

“Chloe,” you looked her in the eye “Where is he?”

She heaved a sigh, “In the training room.”

“Great, more weapons to use,” you muttered as you walked away from her to walk downstairs to the training room. Anger was pulsing through your veins and you kicked the door open, making the pair currently trying to hit each other stop.

“Get out,” you nodded at the other agent and Julian let out a small chuckle before he wiped his face with the towel. The agent rushed out of the room and you narrowed your eyes at Julian.

“You look upset,” he commented, “Want to exercise it out of your system?”

“What the fuck was that?”

Julian uncapped his water bottle to take a huge sip. “Come on, I saw an opening-“

“You made that opening,” you cut him off, “And crossed the line.”

“Oh please,” he waved a hand in the air, “It worked out perfectly fine.”

You could barely control your voice now, “You almost blew my fucking cover!”

“I would never,” he said, “Trust me, if anything I did you a favor.”

You dug your fingernails into your palms, “A favor?”

“Yeah. Guys love competition, an ex-boyfriend being in the picture will even speed up the process.”

“This is my mission.” You said through your teeth, “You don’t get to make spontaneous decisions without running them by me first.”

“When was the last time you had a proper fight?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You always get cranky if you haven’t had a good challenge in a while,” he stated, “A good fight. I take it your boyfriend doesn’t tire you out enough?”

The innuendo wasn’t lost on you and you let out a small chuckle.

“You couldn’t tire me out if you tried.”

He tilted his head, “Is that a promise?”

You shot him a look and lunged but he easily dodged you, scowling.

“Come on Y/N,” he taunted you, “I won’t hold back, you shouldn’t either.”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t hold back.” you grinned at him and darted to grab at him but he twisted your hand to push you back, making your back hit the wall. You pulled your hair into a ponytail and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, spinning in the air to shove him to the ground. As soon as you both fell, you straddled him and pulled the dagger out of your boots to raise it and slam it to the ground right next to his head. A sly grin pulled at his lips as if he was having the time of his life.

“Look at you babe,” he said, “You got even better.”

You were very, very aware of the position you had both found yourself in. You used to find this whole thing hot, it was like foreplay to you. Mock fighting, training, all of it -especially with Julian- it used to be your second favorite activity.

Now, all you could think about was just how much more fun it would be with Bucky.

Maybe Julian was right. Maybe you were just a wild card.

A smirk curled your lips and you leaned in slightly to lock your eyes with his, looking down at him.

“My mission,” you growled. “Not yours. The next time you try to control what’s mine, I won’t be so nice.”

You pushed the dagger into your boot again and got off of him before storming out of the training room, still trying to keep your anger in check.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t work.

                                               ***

No matter what you did for the rest of the evening, it just wasn’t enough to calm you down. Now to think of it, it wasn’t even completely about Julian and his nonsense, it was because—

You didn’t want Bucky to think you were pretending, even if you were.

Just because it was a cover, didn’t mean your reactions and the happiness you felt with him was fake as well. But he could still tell something was off— Sam could still tell something was off despite your best efforts.

Great.

You poured wine into your glass and changed the channel, trying to decide whether you should go and bug Keith or not. You heaved a sigh and tore your eyes from the screen to lean your head back, nibbling on your lip.

Dealing with feelings was much more difficult than taking down a target.

You groaned to yourself and took a huge sip of your wine, but before you could grab your phone you heard the doorbell ring. Your head shot up and you grabbed your gun to walk to the door, but as soon as you looked through the peephole to avoid yet another mistake like actually opening the door to Julian, you froze.

Bucky.

….Fuck.

“Um- just a second!” you called out before rushing to your room to hide your gun, then quickly looked around the apartment to see if there was anything that could tip him off. Overall, it looked perfectly civilian and you ran a hand over your face to pull yourself together.

Your cover was supposed to be angry at him.

You threw your shoulders back and walked to the door to open it, then leaned sideways to the doorframe, your lips pulled into a slight pout.

“Hi,” you murmured and his gaze lingered on your shorts and flimsy tank top before he looked away for a moment.

Ah.

Compared to 1940s, it was almost the same as you opening the door in your underwear.

“Hey,” he said and held up a small box of bagels. “Listen, I know you’re angry but um…I was hoping we could talk?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Keith’s door opening and he stepped out but as soon as he caught the sight of Bucky on your doorstep, his eyes widened and he froze. He quickly fixed his jacket so that it would cover his gun tucked into the back of the waistband of his jeans and gawked at you.

“What the fuck?” he mouthed and you got momentarily distracted, causing Bucky to follow your gaze over his shoulder to Keith.

And Keith, the badass spy, probably the only spy in the whole division who could give you a hard time in a fight, whom you had seen take down five armed soldier by himself with no weapons-

He waved at Bucky.

“Hi- hi neighbor,” he stammered as he turned to you and you shot him a forced smile.

“Hi.”

“Thanks for the cookies, I was going to bring you your plate the other day,” he said, “Do you need it now?”

Translation: Do you need back up?

“No, no,” you shook your head, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“Alright then. See you later.”

You cleared your throat and took the box from Bucky.

“Come in,” you turned around to walk to the living room, hearing him close the door behind him. It didn’t take him long to step into the living room and his eyes darted around as if trying to take in as much as he could. You figured it was natural, homes always gave clues about who their owners were.

Not to mention, as an ex-assassin he was automatically finding the nearest exits and things to use as weapons.

You would know. You did the same thing whenever you were in a new place.

You peeked into the box and frowned.

“What is this?”

“To be honest with you, I have no idea,” Bucky admitted, “It’s supposed to be a bagel. I just asked the guy to give me the most modern and weirdest combination.”

“Is this—is this glitter?”

“He said it was edible glitter, yeah. With lavender and cheese with honey.”

“Why is there two of them?”

He put his hands into his pockets. “I figured I could try one.”

You blinked a couple of times, “You want to try a lavender cheese honey bagel with edible glitter.”

Even the sound of it seemed to be painful for him but he pressed his lips together and nodded fervently. “Mm hm.”

You tried to stop the smile threatening to warm your face and put the box on the coffee table before looking up at him.

“Bucky, listen—“

“I’m sorry,” he cut you off, “That comment back there, it was so uncalled for.”

You crossed your arms, “Why did you say that though?” you asked, “Is that—is that what you think?”

“No,” he shook his head fervently, “Of course not.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know if I can give an explanation without it sounding incredibly weird to you.”

“Try me.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said “It’s like— the way you are, it’s like someone somehow looked into my whole life back in 40s before everything and saw every single detail of what I wanted and made you.”

Yeah. That was exactly what you and the division had done.

“I’m not used to…” he motioned at you, “This. It’s like you’re too good to be true, like you’re perfect, does that make sense?”

A dull pain flipped your stomach and you stared up at him, trying to ignore your throat tightening before you went to sit down on the couch.

“I’m not,” you rasped out, “I’m not perfect. You’ll see it sooner or later.”

That right there was as honest as you could be with him. You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed the wine glass to take a huge sip as he sat down beside you, his gaze fixated on you.

“I’m sorry too,” you said, “It was an overreaction, it’s just… Julian’s effect on me.”

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds as if he had no idea how to approach the topic.

“Rough break up?”

“You could say that,” you scoffed a laugh, looking down at your glass, “I mean….you think you know a person, right? And they have no problem with proving you otherwise, prove that you didn’t know them at all. They—they betray your trust and everything was a lie all along and—“

And just like that, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, making you stop talking.

You were doing exactly the same. It was just another version of the betrayal you had seen from Julian, and you were doing the same thing to Bucky.

He thought he knew you, and you would prove him otherwise, and betray his trust and walk away when this mission was over. In fact, by the time it was over, he would hate you even more than you hated Julian.

You cursed under your breath and took another sip of your wine, trying to ease the crushing guilt making you feel almost breathless.

“Sorry,” you managed to say, “I didn’t mean to unleash it on you, I just don’t want him anywhere near me.”

“I could pay him a visit if you want?”

You pulled your brows together, distracted for a moment before you tilted your head to the side.

“What?”

“To warn him to stay away from you.”

“Uh, I appreciate the chivalry,” you said, “But I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t,” he pointed out, “It’s just the old-fashioned thing.”

“Oh the old-fashioned thing?” you repeated with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he said, “You know, taking care of my girl.”

You thought your heart would leap out of your throat as the warmth spread through you before the idea of betraying him hit you once again. The words felt like they were trying to escape from your mouth, the urge to come clean getting heavier and heavier before you leaned in to brush your lips against his, making him wrap his arms tight around you to pull you closer. You settled in his embrace, the back of your eyes burning but you blinked a couple of times to get rid of tears. He nuzzled into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” you asked and he smiled, pressing a kiss on top of your head.

“Sure thing,” he said and nodded at the TV screen, “What is this movie about?”

“I don’t know, it has cars and criminals,” you said, the guilt making you feel almost nauseous, “Bucky?”

“Hm?”

He would never understand what your confession actually meant, but you felt as if you would choke if you didn’t say it.

“I like who I am when I’m with you.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest before he reached out to caress your cheekbone.

“Makes two of us darling,” he murmured, “I like who I am when I’m with you too.”

A bitter smile curled your lips and you bit inside your cheek to control yourself, sniffling inaudibly before you closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth.

Chapter 14