#for gabi ofc

[suhyeos]

nakyung on the way to music bank ♡

[doorianpavus]

Gabrielle De Lioncourt + Personal Fancasts.

[asukiess]

Nathalie / Emilie / Gabriel. do you see my vision

[seongminiz]

guys dont let gabi fool u shes actually so evil n sick n twisted omg

[murky-tannin]

I hope more qsmp creators get some sort of subtitles for their streams past the qlobal translater. Whether it's something like Baghera's or the extension that Forever uses- or a combo of things like Badboyhalo. Especially the english creators. I think only Bad has the translator extension?

[normalgirlatron]

iatrophobia moodboard ❌

[luguangs]

hey! so i want to read orv after seeing you post about it for a bit but im not sure where i should start- i was hoping you could tell me how you got into it ??? anyway hope you're having a good day:)

hi omg yes of course!! legit SO excited to help spread the orv agenda, prepare to have your brain chemistry permanently altered by it fr (not clickbait)

orv stands for omniscient reader's viewpoint and it's first and foremost a webnovel, but there's also a currently ongoing manhwa adaptation (also there's a live-action movie in pre-production so you're joining the orv train at the perfect time actually)

not to oversell it but the novel is, no joke, the best piece of fiction i've read in my entire life. because of its heavy metanarrative elements, orv really is meant to be read as a novel—it's literally a love letter to its readers.

HOWEVER, i actually highly recommend starting out with the manhwa first, which is how i got into it! i feel like the manhwa is more engaging at the beginning and helps you visualize the characters and setting better. once you get a good grasp on the cast and the overall gist of the plot, you can always switch to the novel!

i personally made the switch after ep 98 of the manhwa and i'd suggest doing the same bc it just hits a lot harder in the novel at that point (plus the manhwa takes away some of the internal narration that literally recontextualizes that whole arc but i digress)

as for where you can read it:

you can find the manhwa on webtoon here (there's also an app if you prefer reading on mobile)

and you can find the novel here

(btw i fully rec starting the novel from the beginning once you make the switch! it might seem a bit repetitive at first, but you actually pick up on a lot of foreshadowing during the second read + you get to see some scenes that were changed / removed in the manhwa!)

beyond that i'll just say that the story only keeps getting better, trust me. it's probably the only one i've read where it just builds and builds and never stops and the payoff during the epilogue is 10000% worth the ride <3

hope you're having a lovely day as well!! and i really hope you enjoy the absolute insanity that is orv hehe

[boo-nito-flakes]

Vertigo | Reiner Braun + Original Female Character AU: modern setting, neighbors multi-chapter story

Rating: Mature Synopsis: When Josie's mysterious neighbor becomes a temporary guardian for his young cousin, she didn't think she'd be so involved. Reiner was a ghost of a neighbor, the two only exchanging a handful of words in the year they'd lived beside each other. Yet there she was, spending her nights watching true crime documentaries and filling out online personality quizzes with Gabi while Reiner was at work at The Liberio. There were a lot of things about this new arrangement Josie didn't expect; how often she thought about Reiner's forearms was near the top of the list. This could become a problem...

Chapter One

“Um, I’m really, really sorry to bother you, but I kinda need your help.”

“Help?” Josie looked down at her new-ish neighbor, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. It wasn’t necessarily Gabi’s presence at her door that had her worried–it was her attitude. Sedated, with skittish eyes and arms crossed in front of her chest. She shifted on her feet and Josie’s heart lurched with every worst-case-scenario. “Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Is it Reiner––” 

“It’s not him!” Gabi half-shouted, big brown eyes wide and wet. “Nothing bad happened… I just… um, can I come in?” 

Josie peeked her head fully into the hallway and looked from left to right. No Reiner. No flames or smoke. No bloody trails. No Boogeymen lurking at the end of the hallway. Feeling a little sheepish, she stepped backwards into her apartment and extended an inviting arm to Gabi. 

Reiner is my cousin , Gabi explained by way of introduction. A few weeks ago on her way out to get lunch with a friend Josie crossed paths with the two at the complex entrance. Gabi hoisted an overstuffed duffle bag over her shoulder and stepped around Reiner to extend a slender arm–wrist adorned with at least seven multicolored beaded bracelets. So I guess that makes you my new neighbor . 

She stumbled upon Reiner later that night while on a mission to retrieve a long-forgotten load of laundry. He was kneeling in front of the only good dryer in the under maintained apartment laundry room. The dryer she most definitely left her linens–which were now neatly folded on top of the machine– in seven hours ago. Josie blustered through an apology, bumping around Reiner in an attempt to immediately remove her shit so she didn’t inconvenience him any more than she already had. 

The man folded her towels . The very friendly people living in Rose Hill Apartments Block C (where there were no roses nor hills) had a history of throwing forgotten laundry on the cracked floor. But her ghost of a neighbor took the time to fold her towels and pillowcases into two separate piles. The stacks were tidy, crisper than any laundry she’d ever done herself. 

Reiner shrugged off her apology. And when she danced around the weird stairway introduction he awkwardly explained, temporary guardian while her mom works some things out . He gripped the back of his neck, eyes drifting towards the door like he’d rather be anywhere than trapped in the linoleum lined room with Josie, ancient machines rattling against each other.

There was a nervous energy to Gabi as she stepped into the apartment. An ever-darkening flush stained her cheeks, fingers twisting together in front of her frame. “ IstartedmyperiodandIdon’tknowwhattodo .”

Oh. Oh. Josie’s eyes widened a fraction as she processed the rush of words. I started my period and I don’t know what to do. Yeah… that… made sense. Gabi at her door–a stranger’s door–full of a pressing urgency, eyes shifty and hands nervous… it made sense. Something familiar in Josie’s chest tightened at the realization. 

It wasn’t any of Josie’s business, what was going on with Gabi and her mother – why a twelve year old girl’s life was seemingly upended and her guardianship was delegated to a bachelor living in an outdated apartment in a just barely okay neighborhood. She didn’t doubt Reiner was a good guardian. But was he really the best choice? Josie bit the inside of her cheek to quell the surge of guilt prickling her skin. It wasn’t her business. 

(But she couldn’t help but think of herself at that age. Alone in a tiny apartment with painted over windows, a barely heated frozen meal warming her lap as she struggled to do homework. Slivers of light spilling in through the gap in her bedroom door when her parents got home. Quiet murmurs, conversation falling into nothing. The hum of a late night talk show through the walls. Workboots hitting floorboards. The beep of the microwave cutting short.) 

Reiner wasn’t a bad neighbor. If anything, the opposite was true. He was the type of neighbor people dreamed of –Josie included. He was so quiet that it took her months to realize the apartment next to hers wasn’t just sitting vacant. It was a stupid thought; their landlord was a dictionary example of ‘skeevy scum’ who would never keep profitable square feet empty. When she finally crossed paths with her mystery neighbor, it was brief – uneventful, even. He opened his door while she was juggling her keys, work bag, and canvas tote of groceries. They exchanged a few awkward pleasantries and that was that – mystery neighbor, no longer. From what Josie gathered over the next few months, Reiner worked late hours and was either never home or the quietest most considerate neighbor a person could ask for. 

“Um, Josie?” 

“Sorry, sorry! Come in some more and we can talk or whatever.”

She flashed what she hoped was a reassuring smile (fuck, she was making things awkward, right? ) and waved Gabi further inside. It only took a few steps for curiosity to outweigh weariness. Gabi’s eyes bounced around the apartment, and Josie swallowed the lump of self-consciousness at the examination. 

So maybe she was mid-cleaning session when Gabi knocked… and maybe her apartment was a little bit of a mess. Clutter that accumulated over the last week (okay, okay…the last few weeks) waited to be put away in semi-organized piles across her coffee table and floor. A basket of clean laundry, unfolded and definitely getting more wrinkled as the seconds ticked by, haphazardly balanced on the edge of the sofa. Music still played from her laptop, a playlist of punchy pop and rap that demanded constant dance breaks. The vacuum was still out, cord tangled, and off-brand cleaning supplies were abandoned like fallen comrades on the battlefield—hooked on the back of a dining chair, hidden with the leafy greens of a parlor palm, propped against a fiddle leaf fig, dangling from a dusty bookshelf.

Josie gave herself a few seconds to mentally prepare before clearing her throat and prompting, “Ah, so what kind of help are you looking for? Supplies? Advice?” A few seconds of silence passed, Gabi’s eyes still bouncing around the apartment, and Josie shifted on her feet and elaborated, “We can just talk, if you want. If you have questions.”  

Gabi finally turned and stared at Josie with a frozen panicked look. The apartment suddenly felt suffocating – too hot, too small. Another childhood memory wormed its way to the front of her mind. Legs crossed at the ankles while she sat on a sticky plastic table in the nurse’s makeshift office, her blood stained jeans folded neatly in a plastic bag by her side. The nurse spoke with a kind, almost muted voice, about cycles and proper hygiene. Josie remembered how she wished she were anywhere or anyone else at the time. She remembered the mortification and shame she felt. How unhelpful Nurse Amy really was – her platitude that her classmates would forget all about it feeling like the biggest lie when she returned to a class full of whispers and giggles.

Before Josie could say anything, Gabi squeezed her fists together and nodded to herself once before meeting Josie’s eyes with a newfound conviction.

“I have questions,” she confirmed. Her hands flexed open and she tugged at the bottom of her shirt, twisting the fading maroon fabric between her fingers. “But I also need… um…,” she motioned to her lower half, and Josie realized–slightly aghast–that she was currently unprotected and definitely super uncomfortable. “Supplies?”

“Oh, shit, of course! Shit–” she winced, hoping her tongue would catch up to her brain. “–yeah, I mean–”

Gabi interrupted with a snort. “I’ve heard worse than that at school.”

“I’m sure,” Josie said, fighting a smile.

She took a few steps towards the bathroom before realizing, 1) Gabi wasn’t following her, and 2) she needed to breach another layer of comfortability and ask about— “You probably don’t have a change of clothing with you, right?”

“Um, like currently?” Gabi squeaked. “No?” 

“You’ll probably want fresh underwear, at least.” She paused, a frown tugging her lips as she strung together some of the loose threads in her head. “Wait, does Reiner know you’re here?"  

“Um, no?” Gabi said. This time, with a huff of disbelief and a little bit of an ‘are you crazy?!’ expression. She shook her head, face softening a little while she explained, “He’s asleep. He worked a double shift yesterday and goes back in later tonight, so I wanted to let him rest… not that I want to talk to him about this stuff.”

  Josie’s heart squeezed tight in her chest. She knew what it was like, searching for the quietest floorboards. Holding her breath while she tip-toed past exhausted parents, just trying to catch a few hours of sleep between shifts. Toeing the line between caretaker and child, burdening herself with responsibilities – always wishing she were a few years older, a little bit smarter, a little more popular.  

“Go grab something comfy and let yourself back in. I’ll get some stuff around and once you’re situated, we can talk… if you still want.”

“Okay, um, I’ll be right back.”

Josie followed her the few steps to the door, double-checking the lock wasn’t turned, then turned back for the bathroom, stopping only once to shut off the music still playing from her laptop. The quiet that engulfed the apartment was somehow exhausting and terrifying—the adrenaline of that initial ‘I kinda need your help’ diffusing into something much more bruised and tender.

Her heart thumped dolefully, a familiar pattern that made her pulse tick beneath her skin. Josie bit down hard on the inside of her cheek and forced herself to think of something other than her parents–of a childhood spent quiet and alone, a youth spent chasing the sensation of flying. 

And she couldn’t help but… well, she couldn’t help but think about Reiner. 

Reiner, picking up extra shifts. She didn’t know where he worked, exactly, or what he did. Just that whatever it was, he kept odd hours. Was he lonely? Could she remember him ever having anyone over? Any company at all?

Reiner, who had this aura of perpetual exhaustion the handful of times they ran into each other around the complex. A sullen, kind of brooding look to him. It pulled at the peak of his lips, mouth always tugged into the slightest pout. Citrine eyes downcast, gaze always somewhere else. She’d never seen him freshly shaven, but the shadow of blonde hair at his chin and across his cheeks suited him. There was a lot about Reiner that suited him. He was handsome, in a rugged way. Handsome in a way Josie never really let herself dwell on… 

Reiner, barely an adult himself and taking care of his pre-teen cousin because… because, well, she didn’t know why. It wasn’t information she  needed or was entitled to know, but she couldn’t help but wonder. Couldn’t help but suddenly worry he wasn’t taking care of himself enough, if he and Gabi were going to be okay. Josie didn’t miss the look on Gabi’s face when she said she wanted him to rest—yeah, there was absolutely no way he was taking care of himself. Reiner was practically a stranger (calling him anything but would be a stretch) but Josie knew he was a good person; she felt it in her bones, he was decent. However she could help, she would—even if it’s just buying some pads and ice cream for Gabi. Reiner deserved a little rest.

Looking a hell of a lot less fazed than she did standing at Josie’s front door, Gabi walked into the bathroom. Josie hadn’t even heard her come into the apartment; when she slapped one palm on the counter and announced she was ready, Josie startled to attention–shoving her thoughts of Reiner aside for more pressing matters. Lucky for her, Gabi was too busy staring at the tampons and pads splayed out and cluttering the tiny counter to pay attention to whatever the hell was going on with Josie. 

“Do you want me to walk you through how to use anything–” 

“I can figure it out,” She chirped, way too loudly for such a tiny bathroom, eyes widening.

Josie smiled easily and said, “Okay. There’s a plastic bag there for your clothes, if you need it. I’ll just wait in the living room.” 

A few minutes later, Gabi emerged with the crinkling grocery bag bundled in her hands. She visibly looked more comfortable when she sat next to Josie on the couch. She did her best to tidy the apartment while her guest was in the bathroom… so really, she moved the laundry basket from its precarious perch on the couch to the papasan in the corner and consolidated the stacks of bills, spam mail, and restaurant flyers back into one mega pile to be dealt with later. Progress was progress, right? 

Josie didn’t expect Gabi to back out of talking, but she didn’t expect a full ‘things they should teach you in health class but apparently are too chickenshit and old-fashioned to talk about’ seminar, complete with a Q&A panel. For as nervous and apprehensive as she first appeared, Gabi was rightly curious and a little grossed out by her body—and that resulted in a lot of questions. Josie did her best to answer things as honestly as she could. Puberty could be fucking awful – in no universe would she sugar-coat that glaringly obvious fact – but it wasn’t all awful. It didn’t have to be, at least, and if even a third of the things she babbled about stuck with Gabi, Josie would call it a successful crash course in the joys and woes of womanhood. 

  Before sending her back to Reiner’s apartment, Josie grabbed the half-empty box of pads from the bathroom cabinet. “Here, take these with you. It should last at least until your next period, but be sure to have Reiner pick you up another box before then.”

  Gabi’s lips twitched a little.“R-right.”

“Let me know if he gives you any shit—”

“Reiner isn’t like that,” She interrupted. Her entire body coiled like a cornered cat, voice hitching higher with every word. “I just don’t want to worry him. He works really, really hard. And even though he says I’m not a burden I know I am—”

“Hey, hey, Gabi. Gabi!” Josie swallowed the sense of panic she felt at the sight of Gabi’s big brown watery eyes. She kept her voice as steady as she could (it still wobbled) and touched a light hand to her shoulder. “Breathe for a second.”

“—it’s my fault he’s so tired, but Reiner is my only family left and he takes really good care of me and I just want him to be okay—”  

After explaining the finer details of menstrual cycles with her, Josie was fairly confident she was close enough to hug Gabi without permission. So she did… mostly because she didn’t know what the hell else to do. It seemed to work, luckily; Gabi stopped talking and melted into Josie’s arms. She held her for a while, until her tears soaked a wet spot through her shirt and her stuttering breaths evened. Eventually, Gabi pulled back and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.  

Neither of them seemed to know what to say. But Josie was the adult, she reminded herself, and she had to say something.

“We really don’t have to talk about it now or ever, but if you want… if you ever want to talk, I’m all ears. My parents weren’t… I mean, I didn’t have the easiest time growing up. I know what it’s like to feel like a burden, is what I’m trying to say, I guess. And you’re not. You’re not a burden, Gabi, so don’t think that for a second more, okay?”  

“Yeah, okay.” She scrubbed her cheeks with her hands again as she nodded, letting out a meek little noise. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired and, uh, yeah…”

“Crying is healthy, I think. Something about endorphins.”

“That sounds made up.”

“It’s true! I watched a video about it.”

“Duh. People your age believe everything they see online.”

Josie scoffed through her laughter. “ ‘People my age’ ? I’m twenty-two, you little asshole!” 

“I’m just saying!” Gabi exclaimed, hands waving defensively. A smile crooked her lips and she continued in a dawdling way, “I should get back before Reiner wakes up and wonders where I am. He always makes a big deal about making me dinner before he leaves for work.”

Josie couldn’t help but tease, “Aw, that’s sweet.” (She thought it was very sweet, actually.) Something about the off-hand way Gabi said ‘leaves for work’ pulled at something in Josie’s mind, another thread of a question she couldn’t help but ask. “Does Reiner leave you alone when he goes to work?”

“Um… no!” Gabi’s spine straightened, her eyes widening as a fresh wave of panic seemed to work down her spin. Josie raised an eyebrow–she wasn't judging… per se… and it made sense, knowing it was a complicated situation. Besides, pot–meet the kettle. It wasn’t as if Josie hadn’t been alone at that age for hours at a time. Gabi must’ve registered the doubt stamped all across Josie’s face  because she swallowed hard, eyes drifting to a corner of the room, and sheepishly continued. “I mean, okay, yes. But he checks in with me a lot and I always make sure I’m asleep by midnight at the latest so I’m being responsible!”

“I was just surprised, that’s all.” Josie admitted honestly, raising her hands. Of course she was concerned, too, but not for the reasons Gabi probably thought. No, Josie had been alone enough at Gabi’s age to know… well, to know how fucking lonely an apartment could be. And if Reiner was working double shifts… “What does Reiner do, exactly?”

“He works at a bar. Um, The Liberio.”

Ah, that made a lot of sense. The Liberio sounded vaguely familiar. Marley wasn’t the biggest city, but it was a college town with a thriving downtown scene. There were more bars than churches. It was something the university transplants loved to brag about, and she’d even seen the accolade blocked across welcome pamphlets and city guides.

Josie was born and raised in Marley, and even though she wasn’t a Warhammer (why they ever thought that was a good mascot for a school, she’d never know), she knew the city the way only a townie ever could. Which meant picking an apartment complex near the outer edge of town, away enough from the bustling energy leaking from Marley University and the rent that came with it, but not so far that the city bus didn’t make frequent stops. It wasn’t a bright or manicured neighborhood –too close to a highway exit to be considered all that safe or desirable– but it worked for Josie. 

For a moment, she tried picturing Reiner behind the bar top at one of those trendy places near the university, serving overpriced and watered down neon drinks to college kids. The image went fuzzy in her head. No, she bet he worked at one of the bars where domestic beers were practically free and there were at least four sporting events playing on the televisions at any given time of day. 

Gabi said her name, shifting from one foot to the other. “I really do need to go, but… um, thank you. Not just for the uh, pads—” she lifted the box with a nervous flutter, the plastic bag at her wrist sliding down and bunching the curve of her arm “—but for talking with me. That was really cool of you.”

Josie tried not to beam at the compliment. Jeeze. When did looking cool to a twelve-year-old ever matter to her before? 

“And um, for other things, too.” Gabi’s cheeks flushed pale rose and she looked away, admitting, “I guess it’s been a really long time since someone hugged me like that and it felt nice.”

That made Josie want to hug her again, but she settled on a one-shoulder shrug. Her chagrin was on display, from reddened cheeks and shy expression to nervous movements.“Everyone deserves a hug every now and then.”

It sounded lamer when said out loud than it had in her head and for a second Josie wondered if her ‘cool neighbor’ points were going to be rescinded. After such a short tenure, too. Damn. But something flickered in Gabi’s eyes and she nodded slowly. 

“Yeah… you’re right.”

She left after that, rushing through another ‘thank you’ before slipping out the door. Once again left in the quiet—this time, for good—the last remnants of the weird kind of adrenaline of the afternoon started to wear off. Josie needed to finish cleaning her apartment; she didn’t have another day off for a few days and it was highly unlikely she’d be in the mood to clean again then. Hell, she wasn't in the mood to clean now . A few episodes of her favorite TV show and a nap sounded good. No, it sounded great. A way better way to spend a day off than organizing bill statements and dusting shelves. 

But she was already kind of grimy from cleaning and she wasn't going to take a nap on freshly washed sheets (groaning, she realized those freshly washed sheets were still bundled together in her laundry basket) reeking like lemon cleaner. And if she was already kind of gross and needed a shower… she might as well finish picking up her apartment. A night binging some TV after that would be like a reward. And fuck it—she was ordering takeout; there were a half dozen menus on her coffee table, at least one had to have some kind weekday special.

It took a little grumbling and mental ass-kicking, but Josie eventually restarted her cleaning playlist and formulated a half-assed (at best) plan for tackling the rest of the apartment. The name of the game: Damage Control. Instead of reorganizing her closets and mopping the floors, she put away the cleaning supplies littering her space and tossed empty hangers into an empty laundry basket. She fluffed pillows, refolded throw blankets, and struggled through making her bed. 

It wasn’t like her apartment was dirty, just a little messy. A deep clean sounded like a proper adult thing to do on a day off. At least she tried . When all was said and done, her apartment miraculously looked tidier than it had that morning. A win's a win. 

After a quick survey of the restaurant flyers and menus accumulated in one of her kitchen drawers, Josie decided on a new pizza place in the neighborhood. Ordering from a new spot was a gamble but their mailer had a really good coupon, and in her mind, bad pizza was still kind of good pizza. With her dinner secured, Josie hopped in the shower, spending a few extra minutes submerged beneath the too-hot spray. She dreamed of living somewhere with a big nice bathtub where, after a long day, she could drink wine and soak in water infused with essential oils and bubbles. All too soon, the water pressure flickered – a sign that too many people were taxing the building’s system – and her daydreams were over. 

She was half-dressed, deciding between pajama bottoms, when a knock sounded through the apartment. The pizza place advertised thirty minutes or less, and she did spend a lot of her shower daydreaming, but there was no way that could be her dinner, right? 

She tripped over her own feet, jumping into a pair of loose pajama shorts as she called out, “Just a second!”   

There was an apology queued on Josie’s tongue as she opened the door, and she thanked God she had the foresight to pre-pay over the phone. But it wasn’t pizza. 

Reiner, dressed in all black and wearing an unreadable expression, stared down at her. Silence beat between them. The slight rise and fall of his chest as he took a deep breath was the only sign he was flesh and blood in front of her and not some kind of hallucination.

Tongue feeling thick and fuzzy in her mouth, Josie greeted, “Oh. Reiner, hey.”   

“Sorry to bother you—”

“You’re not.”

“—but uh, can we talk? About Gabi, I mean.”

“Yeah, of course.” She should’ve expected this—expected him. It made sense, that he’d want to talk about the situation. He was her guardian, after all. He wasn’t upset, was he? Those three words, ‘can we talk?’ , had a tendency to be harbingers of really shitty conversations. Josie hesitated for a second before taking a step back, fingers hooked back with an invitation. “Do you want to come in?”

“Ah, sorry, but I actually need to get to work. I’m already running late. I just wanted to thank you… you didn’t need to do as much as you did.” Reiner huffed out a little self-deprecating noise. “I’ve already given her three lectures about talking to strangers so she knows she shouldn’t be knocking on peoples doors, but um, I’m glad it was your door she knocked on. Thanks, Josie.”

Josie’s heart jumped to her throat. She managed to sputter, “Anytime.” 

Reiner rubbed his neck, big hand coming to rest on his shoulder. The motion drew her attention to his arms. His muscles strained beneath black cuff of his sleeve, biceps pinching the material in a way that made Josie’s mouth dry. The cords of his forearm flexed and belated, she realized he was talking. Shit. Shit. Shit. Josie licked her lips, prayed the color of her cheeks didn’t betray her, and found his eyes.

Which was, admittedly, maybe not the best idea. Because there was something haunting reflected in the depths of his murky yellow eyes. Something vulnerable and familiar and heartbreaking. Josie’s palms itched. She pressed them flat against her thighs and forced herself to think about anything but how badly she wanted to reach out and touch him. Which would be crazy and cross so many boundaries but… he looked so incredibly sad . And didn’t she just tell Gabi everyone deserves a hug now and then? Maybe there was a gas leak in the building or she was tripping from eating spoiled fruit or something–there had to be a legitimate reason for the sudden sharp yearning, the wandering ache, the need to project her own fucked up bits onto other people.

“—at least until the end of the summer, so I want her to be comfortable coming to me for this type of thing.”

“She cares about you a lot.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Reiner’s face softened. He pulled on his shoulder with a sigh, then dropped his arm and admitted, “She said she didn’t want to worry me. Girls her age should be worrying about… I don’t know, but not that —not this. Gabi’s too smart for her own good, though. She’s already shouldering too much and… shit… I’m not trying to dump this all on you. Sorry.”

There he was, looking at her with those golden puppy dog eyes. Her hands flexed and before she knew it, Josie was opening her mouth and overstepping at least a dozen boundaries.

“She’s welcome here anytime. If you’re okay with that, I mean, and if she’s okay with it, too.”

This could potentially put Josie firmly in the ‘weird neighbor’ category… but there was a chance for it to be good for Gabi. And Reiner. Ever since Gabi showed up at her front door, Josie hadn’t stopped thinking about herself at that age. Parents working overtime. Powdered mac n’ cheese. Homework abandoned in favor of cartoons and bike rides. She thought of how bored she was, how lonely she was… and all the trouble she found.

If there was a chance she could offer Gabi even a sliver of a safe space or some companionship, it was worth at least asking–at least offering .

Seconds stretched by in silence, Reiner’s wide eyes unblinking as Josie anxiously shifted in her doorway. Fuck. Great. Just great. She was really good at putting her foot in her mouth and fucking things up, but this was a new one for her. She had to move, right? Break her lease and find somewhere far, far away from–

“Why?”

“What?” She squeaked.

“Why would you offer to do something like that?”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped—”

“No, no .” Reiner ran a hand through his already messy blonde hair as he cleared his throat, lips set in that seemingly permanent pout. “It’s not that. We’re just… I know we’re neighbors and it was really nice of you to help Gabi out, but you don’t need to do this. We’re not a… charity case or something."  

“Oh my God, no.” Josie waved a hand to stop him, a swell of panic tickling the back of her throat. She was fucking this up so badly. “That is not what I meant at all .”  

“We’re strangers,” he said pointedly. There was something sharp in the way he looked at Josie, like he was searching for a crack in her story. Like she would only offer them kindness expecting something in return.

“Neighbors,” Josie reminded him, even though they both knew the word held little weight. Neighborly wasn’t exactly a word she’d use to describe their brief interactions; yet, there she was… offering to hang out with his pre-teen cousin while he was at work. Okay, okay, she totally saw where his suspicion came from. “Look, I know family shit can be really weird and difficult. If I can help, I want to—not because I think you need it or see you as charity but because I get it. Besides, I’m home basically every night, so really she’d be, like, keeping me company.”

Josie thought of the way Gabi’s eyebrows furrowed when she said she didn’t want to worry Reiner. Thought about the way they both looked with the word ‘burden’ rolling from their tongues. Thought of herself, bundled under blankets in an empty apartment, all the lights on even though she knew she’d get scolded for the waste, echoes of sirens and shouts and music and cries seeping through the thin walls.

“Think about it,” Josie rushed to say, before he could turn her down directly. “Ask Gabi if she’d even be interested. I just…”

There was a noise at the end of the hallway, distracting them from whatever Josie was going to say. Probably for the best. She cringed inwardly—this was one of the first full conversations she was having with her neighbor and she was making a complete ass of herself. Reiner tilted his head down the hall, mouth pinched in a pout Josie couldn’t help but stare at, shoulders tight and squared. A few seconds later, he took a sudden step to the side.

“Ah…”

The sight of a delivery person, looking every bit a paragon for bored indifference, shouldn’t have taken Josie by surprise but she was startled, nevertheless. They balanced the insulated delivery bag in one hand, the other itching at their neck.

“Delivery for Apartment 2B,” they sighed, one eye lazily drifting between Josie and Reiner.

“That’s me.”

“I should go.”

Their voices overlapped. Josie sent Reiner a sheepish look, and the corners of his eyes crinkled with something that resembled a smile. 

Josie rocked on her heels. “Just think about what I said?”

“Yeah.” Reiner gave a quick, curt nod. The crinkle in his eye was gone, a more turbid look in its place. “I will.” 

The delivery person sighed again, a loud bothered noise, as Reiner dipped away. Instead of rolling her eyes, Josie forced the corners of her lips up to a friendly customer service grin. They didn’t return the sentiment. Can’t win 'em all. 

Reiner was already halfway down the hallway, hands shoved in his pockets. A simple white logo for The Libero stretched across the back of his shirt. At the sight of the blocky Varsity letters something warm bubbled in Josie’s stomach. Before she could stop herself, she called his name. He froze, back straightening, and slowly turned his body. Even from the end of the hall she could see his raised eyebrow, the apprehension on his face. 

Ignoring the groaning delivery person and the heat crawling up her neck, Josie blurted, “Have a good night at work.”

Under their breath but definitely not quietly enough, the delivery person moaned, “I don’t get paid enough for this.”

Josie agreed. At least she tipped them well . It was hard to care about inconveniencing the driver—or anything, really—because at her words, Reiner smiled. A real smile. Surprise rounded the edges of his mouth, a rosy pink peeking through the fine hairs of his scruffy beard.

“I’ll try.” He cleared his throat then added, “Have a good night, as well—”

Ripping Velcro overlapped with her name. Josie’s eye twitched with thinly veiled annoyance, but the delivery person waved a little tablet in front of her face and chastened, “Can you just take your pizza and sign this? I’ll get written up if the timestamp is over thirty minutes.”

 Aaannnddd… Josie’s annoyance turned to mortification. “Shit, sorry, yeah!”

As quickly as she could, Josie approved the order on their tablet and took her pizza. She closed her apartment door to their fading grumbles, letting her head thunk against the well-worn wood. The warm cardboard box flexed under her tight grip. After a few seconds of silence, Josie’s bouncing ball heart ricocheting against her ribs, she let out a low groan and a long and proper fuuuuuuuuccccccckckkkkkkkk .

She had a bad habit of speaking before thinking… but this was too far—too much—even for her. Offering to hang out with her perfectly quiet and polite (and handsome) neighbor’s cousin, despite them both being complete strangers, because she was triggered by… her own lonely childhood? Some… some fucking protective instinct? Neither were any excuse to invite herself into their lives without an offer, yet she did just that. With a smile! 

There was a drop ceiling in the employee break room at Paradis Mart. When Josie first started working there one of the older, long-time employees told her they found someone living up there in the 80’s. The story was urban legend garbage meant to get a rise out of newbies with the closing shift (and Josie herself told the story a dozen times to trainees assigned to her shifts over the years), but she was fairly confident she could make the arrangement work if it meant never having to face her neighbor again.

(Something sharp twisted in her chest at the thought.)

[folklore-girl]

would u love me if i was a worm?

i would make a worm house for you and try my best to take of u <3

[theodoravery]

havent seen this theory around yet but im thinking maybe most or at least a few islanders will be pairs of twins not just mc/the bombshell(s)

[lanarchive]

just got my room, aisle, and seat numbers for my exam and im trying to find a sign

[sincerelyyoursg]

IS HE IN THE HAMILTON PLAY?? OR IS THAY DIFFERENT?? he looks like a sports dude tho idk

ALSO U KYS. IM PERFECT.

well, a sports dude yes. only a seven time f1 world champion, that is, but yes a sports dude is fine as well, ig.

[gatual]

BOMBOM DAY!!!!! feliz cumple my belovedddd <333 i love u so muchhhh my favorite jjk fan fr hope you get so celebrate and have a great day!! besitos

GABIIIIIII ayyyyy muchas graciasssss🥹🥹🥹🥹🩷❤️💗💖🥰💗❤️🩷so happy to see u in my inbox, thank u for ur wishes you're so sweet, love u2🥺💞💕💗

[gabrielitas]

it’s a mitzvah gedolah to get drunk on channukah

[90sbee]

Sometimes a saviour is a soldier afraid of peace

Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

4.4k words. Also on ao3.

He looks at her in quiet admiration.

He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.

Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.

He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.

The war is over, but the demons still haunt Levi. Luckily for him, the last member of his Squad seems focused on remaining by his side as they both face this new enemy: peace.

This was !!! My first fic written in English, actually. Also my first (and only time so far) writing for aot. Levi is such an angsty angel, and this story wouldn’t leave my head, so I had to end up writing it, ofc. This has been in the drafts for... months. Too many months already. And tbh I'm not a fan of how it came out. But. Posting it in case someone else can enjoy Levi finally getting some love and comfort, sjsjs.

Content: Use of 3rd person pronouns. No use of y/n. Mostly Levi's pov. Reader was part of his Squad. Post!Rumbling Levi. Written with the manga ending in mind. A lot of fluff, rude Levi even if he doesn't mean it (but reader knows he means no harm). Healing. Spooning (Levi as the little spoon btw. He deserves it).

Warnings: depressive thoughts, self confidence issues. Mentions of past violence (but nothing gruesome, it's all in passing). SFW. No beta reader we die like everybody in Aot here.

They always meet. Every single day, she leaves her little flat to find him near the fountain in the Marleyan park, eager to push his wheelchair and pass some time with him.

Levi doesn’t understand. When Onyankopon, or Falco, or Gabi let her take the wheelchair, he just ponders. He could understand why they would accompany him: because he is old? because they feel pity of him?… But her?

Nonetheless, every single afternoon, she comes to him. He doesn’t recall when this custom began. It’s like slowly, but surely, she started digging a place into his routine. She was part of his remaining squad, and he really didn’t see any point to her bubbling-self still being by his side.

Still, he appreciates her visits. She exchanges pleasantries with Gabi, already smiling. Why is she smiling?

“Hi, Captain,” she says. Should he feel mocked? He isn’t a captain anymore and the title feels too much, even if it’s comforting in some way. Levi doesn’t reply. He just nods, silently acknowledging her presence. “Is it okay if we go to the stalls for a while, Captain?” She inquires, as if it was the first time they did it, and not a weekly occurrence. His jaw tenses. He doesn’t understand, still. She surely pities him. She has to.

He agrees to her proposal, though.

“Sure,” he replies, barely any emotion on his face.

She smiles at him. For a moment, they look at each other. She sees that familiar scarred face, a grey eye gazing into her soul. He sees the older face of her remaining squad member, some wrinkles next to her eyes, her figure dressed in green. For some reason, he liked that colour on her.

He doesn’t share that with her, though.

“Let’s get going,” she adds, a little chuckle in her voice — he can hear it — as she starts pushing the wheelchair. They check out the little shops that are already so familiar. Sometimes she signals a piece of jewellery or clothes. She asks for his opinion, or points at a silly artwork, in hopes of making him laugh.

When the cold starts to set in, she stops them in front of a coffee shop.

“Wait here a second, Captain,” she tells him.

“Where would I go, anyway?” He wants to say, snarky, but he doesn’t really bother in opening his mouth. He stays silent still, perking his head up to see what’s she’s doing.

“Oi. coffee?” He complains.

She directs her gaze to him and chuckles, paying the vendor.

“I know you like tea but it’s time to broaden your horizons,” she explains. She comes up to him again, and hands him one of the cups. He sighs, but accepts the drink still.

“What is it this time?”

“Just chocolate. Hot chocolate,” she answers, already sipping hers.  She lets out a content sigh when the warmth of it starts to fill her belly.

“I don’t like chocolate,” Levi mutters under his breath. He is lying and she knows it.

“Tsk. That’s not true. Everybody likes chocolate.”

“… Fine,” he sips his drink and, admittedly, enjoys it. She hands him her drink so she can push the wheelchair again, and he takes it, guarding both cups on his lap, a familiar action for the two of them now.

“Where do we go?” She asks.

Levi shrugs. “As if I had a choice.”

She looks at him still, and when he can see her, barely from his peripheral vision, he sees a softer face. She’s waiting for his reply. He looks at her, looks at her lips. She isn’t smiling anymore. Levi sighs, suddenly feeling guilty.

He doesn’t understand still why she does this for him.

“Captain?” She says, just above a whisper, since there are people around them and they both just want to have a calm evening, without the risk of being recognised.

Levi nods before he even opens his mouth.

“The bridge.”

“Good,” she agrees as he sips from his drink again, guided by her. He does feel warmer. Levi inspects the people around him in silence, letting himself be carried, taken to a nicer place. “Hange would have like this,” he thinks. He looks down to suddenly realise he is clenching his fist, hard. “If you could even call it a hand…”

“We’re here, Captain,” she announces, letting his wheelchair rest next to a bench, overlooking the water. She takes a seat next to him, and Levi hands her the drink. He wonders if she noticed how tense he’s been feeling today.

“Be quick with that, brat, or it will get cold,” he warns, as if to pre-emptively shut down any words from her. He’s not sure he could handle it.

She just nods.

“It’s still warm,” she mentions after a moment.

The sunset is taking its place on the sky, a beautiful palette of oranges and pinks against a very flat horizon. A reminder of what was once lost.

“Good,” he says.

Levi looks at her. She is still looking forward, features illuminated by the falling sun, breeze caressing her face. There is something in his heart that aches, but he doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t dare to. Levi is old, too old, and too broken. And she only pities him.

He coughs to catch her attention, though.

“Hmh, yeah?” She immediately says.

“I heard the Scouts were going back to Paradis tomorrow,” he begins, the question lingering in the air. The small group was leaving first time in the morning.

“Yep.”

Levi blinks, expecting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ask. It feels… too much. He feels too exposed doing that, lower lip trembling.

“Are you going?” He finally dares to ask.

She turns back to him again, and looks at him with the sweetest gaze. Levi doesn’t miss how she looks at his lips first.

“I’m not.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have anything there,” she replies, matter-of-factly. Levi wants to hit his head against something, still uncertain about what that means. Does that mean that she has something here? Someone?

She must notice his doubts, so she lowers her gaze. “I mean. You know I lost my family during my first years as a Scout. And knowing that we tried to stop Eren… All the military forces in the island won’t be very happy to see me. Or any of us. I’ve done my part. I do not want more fighting.”

“… Right”. That still doesn’t answer his question, but it is enough to satisfy his curiosity without seeming to eager. He sips his drink again: it’s getting colder.

“You didn’t want to go, Captain?” There it was again, that fucking title that felt like a joke. He chuckles, not looking at her anymore but rather at the sunset.

“Why do you still call me like that?” He spits back.

“Captain?”

“Yeah,” His tone is unintentionally rude, but he can’t help it, not even around her.

“Well… It’s a sign of respect, don’t you think?”

Levi chuckles, amused.

“I never took you for a polite person.” He doesn’t want to look at her still. She hasn’t added anything, said anything else. What is she thinking of?

She looks at him. There’s a warmth in her belly which has nothing to do with the chocolate anymore. She knows: Her Captain has been way more vulnerable and open since the Rumbling. The little gestures that he could so easily hide before are now an open book. Or at least she feels that way, since she was always one to look at him.

It was so easy to just… stare at him. Admire him in every sense of the word, even now. When they were both soldiers they would fight alongside each other, against innumerable dangers. He was barely visible in the spectrum: always so fast, always so precise. A ray of dark hair and strong limbs, destroying everything to provide peace, to provide protection.

There was no point in denying how she felt about him… Except, maybe, to him.

“I don’t think I would like going back to Paradis,” she finally adds, finishing her drink. He seems to reflect on that idea for a moment, before nodding. He wants to ask why but he doesn’t dare to. “I’m just… comfortable here,” she finishes with a sigh. “This is okay.”

“That’s good,” he says, barely a spark of enthusiasm in his voice, but enough for her to notice.

She looks up at him again. And he feels tiny and scared suddenly, because she looks at him with wonder and care. Levi doesn’t mean to, but he ends up letting his drink fall from his hands, whether due to his nervousness or the state of his hand after the war.

“Shit,” he spits, upset.

“Sh, it’s alright, Captain.” In a second she is picking up the cup, handing him a handkerchief to dry his hands. She walks a few steps to throw both cups into a trashcan and is again, by his side. Such a quick interaction so as to ease his shame, he could notice it. “Are you alright?”

Levi still doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why she still treats him with such respect, why she seems to care so much for him. But he wants to find out, somehow. He barely nods, but she notices it.

“Good,” she says, while taking the handkerchief back. She is about to put it into her bag again when she feels a hand grabbing hers.

Levi.

He doesn’t even say anything. He doesn’t know how. She seems to understand, though, squeezing his hand, softly. Levi quickly lets her hand go, his cheeks going red. She gets behind the wheelchair again, as the sun is about to disappear, and Levi can hear her chuckling.

“Let’s get you home, Captain.”

He stays quiet, unsure if he could even say something useful.

There’s so much he doesn’t know how to say. How to do.

While she is pushing his chair he notices it again. A slight tremor in her right hand. “My wrist seems to ache lately… Must be from holding the blades for so many years,” she had explained in passing a couple weeks ago. He realises that it’s probably taking a strain on her to push him every fucking day.

“Oi,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Stop pushing me. I can handle it,” he explains, tone serious.

“Oh, no,” her hand is trembling still. “It’s fine, it’s no bother for me, Captain.”

“… It’s an order,” he commands after a moment. She stops in her tracks and he can hear a gentle laugh coming from behind him.

“It had been a while since that, huh.” Confidently, she places one of her hands on his shoulder, gently tapping it. Levi smiles. Barely curving his lips, but he does. He is about to be brave, hold her hand on his shoulder when she removes it from him. “Shit,” he thinks. “Too slow… Too slow? Slow for what? Tsk.”

Despite his missing fingers, he can still push his wheelchair quite properly. It also helps that he can see his street far ahead. She walks comfortably besides him, a silence and gentle ghost as his most devoted companion.

Yeah. There’s definitely something aching in his chest. He had been noticing the past days, feeling getting more painful as they both approach his place. And it has nothing to do with his faulty joints or damaged body or excessive age.

When they reach his door, she asks for his key. Levi gives it to her, his hand lingering for a second too long, reflecting on the brief touch of hands as she grabs it to unlock the door.

He is tired.

And he feels incredibly silly when he realises he doesn’t want her to leave.

“There we go, Captain. I help you in?” she suggests with a bright smile, opening the door.

“… Yes.”

She steps inside and pushes the chair into his living room, almost getting it next to his couch.

“That’s enough” he decides, in a semblance of independency he still wants to maintain.

She nods. “Okay… I guess… I’ll get going, Captain.”

Levi lifts up his gaze. He wants to ask… He wants to know… He savours her image for a moment, her tired expression and the way her dress now looks clumsy and wrinkled but he doesn’t care. Before, before everything had ended up like this he would remind every single cadet to iron their uniforms, all the outfits presentable, so as to look like respectable soldiers and honourable bodies if the occasion arose. Now she can have the privilege of looking messy. Of not worrying about death so often.

“No,” he mutters.

“Huh?” she inquires, taking a step forward.

“Shit,” Levi thinks. “I… I want tea,” he makes up a quick lie.

“Oh, sure. Yes, Captain.” She leaves her bag on the couch and goes into the kitchen, getting a kettle full of water.

He looks at her in quiet admiration.

He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.

Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.

He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.

He stands up. His body still holds that ability, though his legs get tired rather quickly. He can still walk, so he does until he reaches the kitchen. She is still deciding on the teas when she sees him.

“Oh, no, Captain, please, just don’t…”

He interrupts her, grabs her waist carelessly and pushes her towards the couch, barely moving her.

“Let me handle it myself.”

“Levi…” She whispers, their faces inches apart.

“Go. Sit,” he mumbles, biting his lips and sending his eyes lower, so as to avoid her face.

“Are you sure?” She inquires a moment after, still close to him. He notices she has a hand on his waist as well, a protective aid making sure he stays on two feet.

“Yes,” he says, more commanding this time. He grabs that hand of hers and pushes her away gently now.

She nods, understandingly.

“I’ll be in the living room,” she adds.

Levi nods at her, making sure she finally gets that ass of hers in the couch. He is now faced with his kitchen. Most of the cups and teas, everything has been moved lower, so as to accommodate to his wheelchair. Slowly, he kneels, searching for a specific flavour for her. When he finally finds the peppermint and rose one, he mentally cheers. He stands up again, slowly, as if to show confidence, making sure from his peripheral view that she isn’t coming to his aid.

She isn’t. He catches her averting her eyes, though. A confirmation that she has been staring.

He decides to stare as well. Supporting himself on his weakened legs, he waits for the kettle to boil, while looking at her. It’s as if she could notice that, because her head doesn’t move, still fixated on an indescriptible point in his living room.

“Oi, what you looking at?” He says, a bit more light-hearted.

A smile forms on her lips before she even turns her head towards him. She doesn’t answer. Just keeps smiling at him.

“Fuck,” he thinks when he realises he has also slightly curved his lips.

Quickly he turns towards the stove, the kettle already boiling. Levi carefully fills the cups with water, letting the leaves rest. He lifts his gaze up to her for a second but it is already enough for her to notice.

“Need help with the cups?” Her, always so worried, so in tune with his needs. No need for words.

“Of fucking course.”

Still, the only answer he gives her is a polite nod. She stands up, approaching him.

“I’ll handle it, Captain. Just take a seat.”

He lets out a sigh, taking himself to the couch and plopping himself there.

“It’s hard,” Levi thinks as he sees her come back to the living room, two cups in her hands. He accepts the drink, his gaze not leaving her features. “I… I can’t.”

He knows he can’t accept kindness: he doesn’t know how to. Still, he tenses his jaw and forces himself to sip the tea as she takes a seat next to him.

“Peppermint, huh?” She hums mostly to herself.

 “… Yeah,” comes out of his mouth, unsure, less braver than expected. Is he insecure? Has he made a mistake?

“Good choice” She declares and he breathes again, realising that he had been holding his breath. “Bet you already knew that, right?” She adds, cocking her head.

Levi looks at her again. He has been avoiding her eyes but he hadn’t been trained as a soldier to back down in times of peace.

“I did,” he says, his tone firm, a very weak attempt at showing confidence still. “It’s the one you would always ask for when we would have meetings with the Scouts.”

“It’s good tea.” Her tone seems softer now.

Levi hums, too deep inside his mind to notice it.

She wonders. Wonders if he has ever realized that the only reason she would wander through the headquarters late at night was just to be found and reprimanded by him, the way she would be easily entertained by Levi’s stern face. Wondered if Hange had ever told him about the time she had fallen asleep in their office and woke up, mumbling his name, much to Hange’s delight, though they had promised to keep it a secret.

He looks down at his legs, at his carpeted floor.

He wonders if she had ever noticed the way he would mindlessly lick his lips after looking at her, the boring uniform suddenly a beautiful outfit, making her stand out. Wonders if it was too late to tell her that, yes, after Hange and her had found him, and stitched him up, that he had heard every single word she had uttered near his heart, softly pressing her timid hands on his chest. There hadn’t been time then to discuss anything or even think if it had meant anything else than old scouts being protective of each other, but now…

They finish their teas in silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the opposite, despite the fact that Levi has started nervously tapping his feet against the floor. It is dark outside already, the light from the lamps flowing into Levi’s house, a dog barking a few blocks away.

She stands up, makes sure to wash her cup in the sink and put it away before returning to him.

“Captain?” She mutters. No need for more words.

Levi hands her the cup with slow movements, as if trying to prolong that insignificant action for as long as possible. And when she is already about to head into the kitchen, little plate and teacup in her hand, he decides to be brave. No more lying to himself, no more being a coward. Too many people have died, have bleed, have sacrificed the little they had for a selected group of survivors to be able to live. To enjoy the remaining Earth. For the little ones that survived to be able to find some meaning. Something worth all the pain.

Basking in the fear serves no one. In fact, makes all the death meaningless.

So, Levi looks up at her and grabs her hand, even if he is scared still. Trembling fingers dancing on hers until they secure her hand softly in his. He feels warm even if he doesn’t know what to say, how to convey what he feels. Such a shadow of the man he was. So stupid now.

Levi just wants her to say.

She gasps at the contact but quickly composes herself. A shy smile showing up on her face. They stay like that for a moment, neither daring to break the silence.

“Levi?” She asks after a moment, moving closer to his face, as if asking for permission.

He can only look at her lips in reply.

She shortens the distance between them and kisses him on his lips. It isn’t a big kiss, too flashy or provocative: just a tender contact between two broken people. As soon as he has processed what was going on, she has already moved forward, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

And then, even higher, another kiss on his forehead, her lips remaining close to his face. Levi can’t say anything. Barely reacting. But when she looks at his eyes, she is greeted by the sweet glimmer of tears in them.

Levi. Happy, at last.

And as if reading his mind, she utters: “Do you want me to stay, Levi?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

She complies. In the quiet, late hours of the night, Levi wakes up, his body feeling too rested already. It was a habit hard to break, he wouldn’t sleep much anyway. He sighs still, feeling her body pressing against his, holding him from behind. She has one hand on his shoulder, the other keeping him safe and secured, hugging his waist close. He dares to smile and grab that hand across his belly with both of his hands, so as to make sure that it is real: he is being held. There is someone else with him. Levi isn’t alone. Someone is taking care of him. Someone he’s been devoted to for so many years.

He wants to nuzzle up closer, hide in her chest or neck and feel more.

But he doesn’t dare to. He can’t allow himself to do that yet. 

So he stays awake in silence, hearing the soothing and steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

Levi still doesn’t understand, though.

He doesn’t want to think of why she has chosen him, how he got this privilege so late in his life, when all hope seems to be lost and the thought of a partner didn’t cross his mind at all. He also doesn’t know what to do with this gift, this blessing. Why? How? He is such a crippled shadow of what he used to be. Slow, so consumed by roughness and violence and so useless now.

He has always had something to fight for: his life, his friends, his Squad, Erwin, Hange. Yet since the Rumbling he has just… fallen behind. He is just existing and it seems like his body has finally caught up to his age: no longer agile and strong, but a weakened man, finally leaving the survival mode that has characterised every single aspect of his life. He doesn’t have any goals or dreams now. Everything had been slowly trampled down like the titans destroying all land and all life.

He shivers, remembering that day and holds her hand tighter.

Once he had completed the promise made to Erwin, his last order, he had nothing more. No more commands. No more slaying titans.

Just existing.

He doesn’t want that. He has been a fighter, a rebel, a monster his whole life. He only knew of endurance and compliance with the spirit of life, of resistance. He doesn’t know of anything else: the calmness, the quietness, the routine walks and just reading books and sitting on his porch… That is not him. That isn’t life. Being able to choose things for himself, devour life gently and enjoy it instead of painfully trying to keep it close, to grip it between calloused fingers… Peace isn’t familiar.

He has nothing to devote himself to, nothing to prove or fight for.

“Yeah,” he thinks. “Everything is… meaningless… Or it was.”

He closes his eyes, relinquishing himself in the warm body against his.

Some things… Some things have meaning still.

Her.

The way she would scrunch her nose when laughing or buy him drinks or attempt to make him laugh or wear that damn stupid wrinkled dress and — “Fuck. I know her so much by now…”

She had been a Scout too. She had fought and devoted her heart and did everything a Scout had to do. She had fulfilled her duty in the same way he did. She has survived and she doesn’t regret a single thing. Not even this life.

She is at peace.

He wants to sob.

He doesn’t understand peace. Sure, it was his goal, what he always dreamed of, but, damn it. Levi had never thought he would actually get to see something resembling it. Unlike her. She understood what it was: she has accepted peace with open arms and a smile that — fuck, somehow— has been shining on her face throughout the years. Despite so much pain and death…  She still allows herself to fucking live in peace. She forgave herself for the death, for the pain and crimes and let go.

He isn’t sure if he can do the same.

Peace is foreign, strange even. An oddity. And he isn’t stupid, he knows that time would run up someday and that things would turn against them for a second time.

But, still, the promise of the rest of his life in peace lingers.

He could have it.

He fucking could.

Levi reflects on those thoughts for a moment, silent still.

He thinks he can get to an agreement. Maybe, when she wakes up in the morning, he can try to spill his soul to her a little. Try to understand how she handles this life, how she can get up in the mornings after killing so much, and just have tea with him.

But for now, in the quietness of the night, as the old warrior he was, he does the only thing he knows: he promises to dedicate his heart once more.

He finally has a reason, a purpose, something worth protecting again.

Levi lifts his hand, crossing it on his chest the way all Scouts would do. But he doesn’t press it on his heart, but rather, moves it to hold her hand, the one resting on his shoulder. He squeezes it gently, suddenly feeling too overwhelmed by her. By the silent love she had been proclaiming to him all these years and that he couldn’t reciprocate before.

Yes. Now it is the time.

Levi would dedicate his heart once more.

To her and only her.

That may have been the cheesiest ending ever written but !!!! He deserves it, I know. Also someone stop me before I write for Hange, the feelings got to me indeed. Dividers by @/cafekitsune @/saradika and @/vase-of-lilies

[lesuerts]

Maybe unpopular opinion: I didn't want to have another spin-off of levi despite loving him very much.

This is what I wanted to have:

• hange's, miche/mike's and nanaba's past

• how petra and co were chosen to be levi's squad

• training of the warrior cadets (reiner and co gen) and more of them (especially galliard brothers)

• the 5 year gap where reiner and co were in paradis but what happened in marley (more of gabi, zofia, udo and falco; pieck and porco; colt and zeke (as mentor); or more of the situation of the eldia in marley)

• veteran trio (hange, erwin, miche/mike) or also with moblit and nile in the training corps and their first expedition outside (except nile ofc)

Just little short stories, a few chapters about that