#for awhile after we broke up he wasn't playing video games

[a-lil-strawberry]

Seeing a steam notification that my ex is playing a game still makes me feel.... Idk.... Sad. I don't want to unfriend him though. I wonder what he thinks when he gets a notification that I'm hopping on some game....

[theendlessrambles]

11/26/23

I have a counselors appointment the first of December. That was the soonest that could get me in. I've been waiting for about a month. I haven't skipped work, but I sleep a lot. My friends have helped a lot. After spending the night and seeing my family I saw my friends including the one who moved down from Canada. I haven't seen her in years. We all went shopping smoked and played games. We spent so much money haha we were all regretting it but we had a ton of fun.

Seeing Mya family was strange it was nice but my youngest brother is suffering clearly and they are rather sexist and racist. Mainly the boys. I spe t the night at my grandma's and the next day I went and saw my mom with my grandma, but she was busy doing work deposit us agreeing on that day to hang out cause she missed me. It was okay though and we watched half of Harriet Tubman. It was too long for us to watch since I need to go get Morgan and bring her back to my place. Thanksgiving went pretty well.

I broke up with my boyfriend. He didn't see me as a priority any more with college and his friends being his priority. It would t of been to bad if he wasn't so rude and disrespectful to me when we were together. He bought us tickets to a musical, Little Shop of Horrors. I was so excited but it did not go well. I phoned him when I broke up with him. I told him at noon I wanted to talk and he waited til he was heading to work to call me because he was playing video games with his friends. I dumped him and he told me it wasn't fair and he spoiled me with too much quality time in the beginning. I yelled at him a bit. I had been communicating how frustrated I was and he told me that this had come out of nowhere. He hasn't spoken to me since and I've messaged him about his things being returned. They may just become mine now. It's funny how you can see ones true colors after a break up. It sucks. I have his harmonica, a dnd book, and some of his clothes. I also had his gifts for what was going to be our 1 year anniversary and his Christmas gift. It was this build a bear I made him with a lavender scent in it cause it was his favorite. I was gonna put an audio of me saying I love you in it but since it was a pokemon stuffed animal I picked they wouldn't let me do to legalities so I put a heart beat in it instead. Pap claimed it right away but I'm making her wait til Christmas. In truth I wish I could still give it to him, but I don't think he would take it and I don't blame him. I want to hate him, but I don't. He just has a lot of growing up to do.

I'm thinking of moving out on my own. There's this abandoned church in sandusky and it doesn't look to bad. I think I'd like living in an old church. There's also this house across the street me and pap talked about moving in together, but I think I want to be alone. I think I just need to live by myself for awhile and figure things out. My only worry is my dog, phoebe, getting enough time and being let out. I honestly just have a lot to think about a lot to get through.

The war is still raging on. They aren't saying it's World War three, but we all know it is. Times are rough, those who hold the strings are all fighting with one another, and there's a genocide everyone knows about. It's pretty depressing. The climate is still not the best and there's talk of helping it by being extinct animals back. I don't know how those two connect. There's this think called Colosial Science and they are partnering up with some company down in Texas to bring back mammoths by 2028 for meat. They also mentioned Dodos too. I don't like the idea of it. I don't like the idea of cloning as a solution. I understand it to a point of saving us from extinction, but it feels off. Sometimes I think human downfall isn't to bad rather than scrambling to mess with nature more to ensure our survival. We have tried to remove ourselves so much from it until we surrender back into it I think we're all going to die. Maybe I'm just depressed. Who's to say why the mammoths are coming back, but one day I may be writing about it with a pack of its meat in the freezer.

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to ROCKETEAR!

It's a long post, but when are these ever really short? xD Seeing Carapace first made me so excited. I've been sad we haven't had much of him in the show. And then I saw that it seemed like Ladynoir was doing pretty good as they only had Carapace helping them this time. More S2 & S3 like. So I was like cool, cool, this is great. But what the heck scientist WHY ARE YOU BRINGING TYRANNOSAURUS REX'S BACK! Obviously she's going to be something big later on, she's too nicely animated not to be back. Not to mention Bob Roth's plans. Anyone else both intrigued but also scared at what that could do later? Big upcoming plot point, I think.

I screamed awwww because this is everything. I've wanted a LB/Carapace and Marinette/Nino friendship bond in this show since season 1. This scene made me incredibly happy! I'm a huge Nino fan, for those that don't know, so you can imagine how much I love this episode. Even though sad Nino.

"Alya, everyone has to believe that you will never use the Miraculous again!" End of episode: So anyway... So what I'm seeing here is, Alya's not fond of the idea of being just a spy, not being in on the action. Even though it's Ladybug's plan. Chat Noir isn't fond of what's going on right now either, where he thinks what's going on is all Ladybug's plans. Alya makes the decision to not do what Ladybug wants and tells Nino she's still Rena Rouge. So what's Chat Noir going to do to go against her? Because that's coming up on the horizon. Despite everything being easier for Marinette since everything's not just on her shoulders now, she's still been unable to play video games with her dad, and we know how much she loves doing that. :c That's really sad she doesn't even have time for her family anymore. DJWifi over here being all adorable. "You don't love me anymore!" Me: *Chat Blanc flashbacks* Alya suggests her new content could be Chat Noir edits and Marinette's like YES DO THOSE. Then those edits helped push Nino into thinking she was into Chat. Big oops. Not gonna lie, the rewind freaked me out for a moment. Last time I saw that was Chat Blanc so I thought something big was up. But nope, it's just like that scene in Puppeteer 2. Ugh poor Nino! He knows something's bothering Alya, but she won't say what it is and her behavior's too off from how she normally is. Poor guy. x.x Grumpy Nino that Carapace doesn't get attention and then they wrote his girlfriend with Chat Noir. I remember when Alya was grumpy for a bit about Rena Rouge not getting a party to celebrate her. Movie Ladybug telling Movie Chat Noir that he's better with Movie Rena Rouge. Is this a reference to the episode in Avatar, The Ember Island Players? Getting strong vibes when Play Aang and Play Katara were like, we're just friends nothing more and it's great! Play Katara was extremely into Play Zuko. I can see why Ladybug dismissed the movie (or was it the previous one since it's been awhile? Maybe?) because Rena Rouge and Chat Noir???? The writers (of the movie) just wanted to be different because everyone can see Ladynoir, unless they're blind. Alya and Nino are Andre's favorite couple. YES THANK YOU. I mean they're not my favorite because Love Square. BUT they're my second favorite next to them. Those kids are super adorable but definitely that kid playing Chat wasn't doing Nino any favors. First picture Alya shows. Chat with a heart tail. Yeah that's not doing her any favors lol. Nino: UGH CHAT NOIR'S COMING IN BETWEEN ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND. I KNOW, I'LL CALL MY BEST FRIEND TO VENT TO ABOUT IT. Best Friend Chat Noir: Best Friend Chat Noir: Welp maybe I should see what's up. Maybe I went a little to hard on the cat charm and she's fallen in love with me. Me: Oh oof here we go. Also can I ask, if anyone knows, who animated this episode? The fluidity is great and it looks really pretty. But it doesn't quite look like SAMG's work either. Whoever did it, I love it. S2 Chat Noir: You're not replacing me with a turtle, are you? :c S4 Nino: Who would want a reckless turtle as a partner? BOYS STOP. But yeah this whole scene had me laughing so hard XD Very dramatic and I love it. Nino's hilarious even when he's worried and sad! I would've absolutely loved to have heard this in English with the old English voice of Nino, but the new one worries me on whether or not he'll do a good job sounding like Nino and less high-pitched and whiny. :/ New York Nino was great but S4 Nino....x.x THE TRANSITION BETWEEN HIS INNER MONOLOGUE AND SPEAKING REGULARLY AGAIN 😂😂😂😂 Brilliant! It doesn't really feel like Miraculous Ladybug this episode, and I love it. Not that I don't love the show as usual but wow this is great. Okay, I want to point out that Chat Noir

probably was more worried about it than he would've been otherwise because of what happened with Marinette in Weredad. It probably made him more cautious about this sort of thing.

LOL Chat's sulking because Alya's laughing at the idea of being interested in him. 😂😂 I know that's a blow to one's ego and all, and he's dealt with this kind of thing a lot so I do feel bad for him, but that is his best friend's girlfriend and he definitely doesn't want her to like him. Alya: With him it's not just ❤️it's *makes massive hand gesture indicating she loves him deeply* SO SO SO CUTE OKAY ALL THIS DJWIFI 😭 Alya: And I don't even know your secret identity! I would never fall in love with someone I don't know. Chat Noir, literally fell in love with Ladybug, whose identity he doesn't know. Well Alya, I wonder if you saying that matters for later somehow.... o.O Nino running away crying is honestly one of the things that hurts me most in the entire show. Ugh. Adrien over here being all, I'm having a good day. I'm happy and smiling and it's great. And then it wasn't. Adrien, if Nino let him and didn't interrupt, would've told him about how Alya really doesn't love Chat Noir, and that would've seriously led up to his identity being exposed since Nino was watching and filmed them. o.o Did you notice how he was going to tell him about it? S4, the basement is where it's at. Adrien: Uhh, when did you arrange all this? Nino: *pounds fist on desk* I ASK THE QUESTIONS! 😂 So like. Why is Nino interrogating Adrien when he's after Chat Noir? He doesn't know they're the same person. XD He's looking at him like Adrien has info he's keeping or something omg.

Also again this animation is so nice. Adrien, feeling uncomfortable and so turns the music off. Nino, wanting his dramatic music on while he interrogates Adrien, turns it back on. Adrien, feeling even more irritated and uncomfortable, wants the music OFF and turns it off. Nino, turns the music back on. This may be a reference to something, I don't know, but lolol it's so funny. This episode is both super hilarious and super angsty! Honestly they've done such a good job in my opinion. Nino: I'm talking about something that I shouldn't tell you! ...but I'm going to tell you anyway! Alya's Rena Rouge and I'm Carapace! Okay but the way Adrien went from shock to utter anger, knocked his chair back and grabbed Nino's shoulders like "Tell me the truth. You two know about each other?" Aw man, my poor sunshine boy. A lot of the stuff bothering Adrien is all circumstantial, none of it is to purposefully keep him in the dark. And yet from his perspective, that's how it looks. "I thought secret identities must be protected at all times! If that was the truth, you would never tell me this!" Alright so three things. If he's referring to him saying that Nino and Alya know about each other, that was situational and important info for him to know now that this is out. It wasn't important to know before this. The time it happened was dire and was really no time to get around it. If he's talking about Nino telling him the secrets, well yeah that's not supposed to happen and Nino broke that trust. But also, I get the feeling pretty strongly at this point Adrien's going to be breaking some rules too and one of which is he's going to tell Nino who he is. Adrien's being too emotional in this scene to not be involved in it all, I'm wondering if that's going to be questioned later by Nino. He's acting like he knows too much to be a random viewer of the heroes like the rest of Paris. Also Adrien's best friend just totally dissed Chat Noir and went off about how he throws himself at Ladybug whenever he sees her with roses and love confessions. 😂😂😂 This is just too funny! "But he's always rejected because Ladybug finds him annoying! And she's completely right!" Omg Nino, that's not the reason anymore, shush! "And then Rena Rouge appears and he goes *tickles under Adrien's chin* hey pretty lady! You look elegant and you have great perfume." OMG does Chat Noir actually say and do stuff like that to Rena Rouge or is he just exaggerating here XD "If I could I would shut his mouth forever!" Yeah Nino, say what you really think about your best friend in the entire world. Yikes poor Adrien though. I never imagined he'd hear all these bad things about himself from his best friend directly like that. :/ That's a major misunderstanding of him. Which kind of pushes me more towards the "he's going to tell Nino" theory. Sad Adrien transformation DDDX Alya: *explained everything about why Chat Noir went over to her house in the middle of the night* Marinette *facepalm* Ugh that Chat Noir... Well at least there will be no misunderstandings there! xD "Chat Noir, you stole Alya from me! I will steal your life from you." Good lord man calm down. You can't just kill a man! Fanon: Chat Noir gets attacked by a guy over Marinette. Canon: Chat Noir gets attacked by a guy over Alya. Time to go back to the basement! lol Nino's music's still playing xD And the video is left with it paused on Chat Noir hugging Alya. Marinette looked a bit sad, but it was probably more about the situation being a mess rather than being sad he'd hug her. Meanwhile, Chat Noir's fighting Nino and would rather get beaten up by him than fight. x.x "I can't believe that I doubted you." "I can't believe I chose to do anything but be with you!" She wiped away akumatized Nino's tear just like how Ladybug wiped away akumatized Chat Noir's. ALL THE PARALLELS 😭😭😭 But that hug is so sweet!! Nino broke off the akumatization just like Alya did :o Dang, I wonder if that means something later too. "Love and secrets do not go well together, Ladybug. And I'm sure you have a lot of

them!" Secrets = from Chat Noir. Love = for Chat Noir. Yeah even Shadow Moth knows at this point. xP Thanks for that foreshadowing. Nino's charm is my favorite charm so far! It's my favorite shade of blue. Chat Noir: Everybody has doubts sometimes...even me." Ladybug: Is everything okay, Chat Noir? Chat: Oh yes...pound it!

So um. The placemet of Adrien's poster in between Chat Noir, Ladybug, and just with this entire situation feels very strange. Very intentional. But no clue exactly what that could mean..... Nino and Alya are happy over there watching those two, like they're waiting for them to figure things out or something. But really, Adrien should've talked to Ladybug when he could still do so calmly and be reasonable. I doubt that's going to be the case later on. And honestly Ladybug doesn't even know what's going on. Every episode we've seen really either has them working together or she's unable to be Ladybug when he's unable to be Chat Noir most of the time. I've said it before but these two really need to communicate. Nino and Alya are like a less adorably romantic version of what they'd be. "But they're a couple and they know their secret identities, so why does that rule exist for us but they can know?" Very simple. Because they were temporary holders and the Miraculous they had, Hawk Moth hasn't made it his life's mission to obtain, unlike them, who are permanent holders and Hawk Moth's been after them fiercely to make a Wish that could destroy everything. But. The fact he's asking this, and Marinette's Chat Blanc nightmare, really points in the direction that he's going to eventually find out that while she's thought about telling him all along, Chat Blanc's kept her from doing so.

Okay, so while it looks like he's staring up at the moon, if you notice, it really is just one of the pink bubbles.

Now, they could be making it seem like it's the moon though to give it a double meaning. But poor Kitty, he's feeling so awful right now over in that dark corner Dx Nino felt bad for only two episodes? and it got resolved, so hopefully this all won't last too much longer for him! Marinette had a few shaky episodes so hopefully he'll have a few before it gets resolved. But somehow I think that may be wishful thinking. This episode was so amazing, honestly. Wonderful writing, made me laugh a lot, aw a lot, and hurt a lot. It focused on the core 4 characters which I've wanted more of for a long time. The animation was beautiful. And it just felt so different in such a good way. Chat Noir's having a hard time right now, and I know there's a lot of anger and hate about it going around. But please, think of this as him hitting a rough spot in the road to a much better and brighter future. He's going to end up okay, he'll understand it all someday. And that day's honestly not that far for him if you think about it.

[tk-productions]

Mystic Sisters- Ch.9 Kiss and Makeup

Yua’s pov

I felt like I was going to throw up. My emotions were running all over the place and so was my brain. It was late but I knew I had to talk to Haru. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I thought, reaching for the doorknob with sweaty palms. The cold air hit my face as I walked down the familiar street remembering the last time I was here. 

It was a few weeks after we broke up. Haru stopped coming to school and stopped answering his phone. I knocked on the front door calling out his name but no reply. His parents' car wasn't in the driveway. I peaked around to the back to see the back gate was unlocked. That wasn't like them. I grabbed the doorknob and it opened. Stepping inside there was nothing. Not a couch, a painting, not a single piece of evidence that a family once lived here. Every room was completely empty and so was I.

“Haru?” I called out disparately. Falling to the floor the tears I had been holding back started to spill.

“You can't just leave me here.” I cried. 

Here I was again, standing in front of his house with tears threatening to fall. 

“Yua?” Haru puzzled, shutting the front door behind him. “What are you doing here?” he asked walking closer. I don't know how long I was standing there but I didn't hear him open the door. 

“We need to talk.” my voice came out more as a whisper. 

“It's midnight. Couldn't this have waited until tomorrow?”

“No. I'm tired of you running away. I'm not leaving until we talk.” Haru quickly looked around before grabbing my hand and leading into the house and back to his room. Nothing had changed. Everything was back in its place like the house wasn't empty a few months ago. Every picture frame, piece of furniture, even the flower pot Haru’s mom kept by the front door. Being back reminded me of all the nights we would spend here watching movies and doing homework together. All the times we pulled all nighters for midterms and ended up eating way too many snacks. Then we would walk sleepily to Mystic cafe for coffee before our test.  I finally met Haru’s eyes and he stared at me worried. He still had his hands wrapped around mine.

“Why did you leave?” I asked bluntly. When he didn't say anything I asked again. 

“I thought we were okay. You told me you loved me and then disappeared. Haru I tried calling you I even came back here but you were gone. Why? You left me here and that hurt!” I cried out.

“Hey don't be so loud. My parents are asleep.” he said calmly. He took his free hand and tried to wipe my tears but I swatted his hand away. I stood up walking away from his bed. 

“I don't even know why I came here. You obviously stopped caring about me a long time ago. And what makes matters worse is that I still love you. Even after all the shit you put me through, I still love you!” Haru pulled me into his lap. We stayed in silence until Haru spoke.

“Yua I still love you. I always will.” he whispered into my ear.  I was torn. Those three words are what I waited months to hear but now I don't know what to feel.

“I know what I did was wrong but I had no intention of hurting you.”

“Then why did you leave?” I mumbled. I turned to face him, still teary eyed.

“I had to. I didn't want to but I had to. I had so many family issues and they all piled up at once. The next thing I knew we were packing up and headed back to our family home. I never meant to hurt you that night. When I came back I knew that I hurt you and didn't know how to talk to you so I kept avoiding you.I meant it when I said that I loved you. I never knew if I was coming back. I thought it would be better if you forgot about me.” 

“ We've been friends forever and dated for two and a half years. Haru I couldn't forget you.” I had been playing with the necklace around my neck while Haru talked. It was a habit that I picked up anytime I thought about him. I laid against his chest trying to take in everything that was happening. 

“You still wear it?” he smiled, brushing the hair out of my face.   

“Of course idiot”. We talked for a little while longer. I zoned out for a little while taking everything in. Nothing about him had changed.well maybe his hair. His hair had grown out a little but I still liked it. He still had that same smile that I loved since we were kids.  “You know you could have just told me what was going on.”

“I know. I should have but everything happened so fast.” I looked at my phone and it was 2am. I let out a yawn and got up.

“I should probably go home.”

“I'll walk you back. It’s late.” I nodded and yawned again before following him out of his room. Haru held my hand as we walked back to my house. It was silent but it was comfortable like it had always been. 

“Thanks for walking me home.” I said once we got to the front door. He let go of my hand and pulled me to his chest. 

“Let's talk some more when it’s not 2 am.” he laughed and I nodded against his chest. He leaned down to press  a light kiss on my lips.

“Good night Yua.” 

A few weeks later

“Why are you so smiley?” Hikari asked from across the table at breakfast. She gave me a confused look before digging her fork into her french toast. 

“No reason.” I smiled, looking up from my phone and sipped my orange juice. Hikari shrugged and continued to eat while scrambling to finish her math homework.

“If you weren’t up all night with Hisako playing video games then maybe you would have finished.” I joked. She looked up for a second to give me an angry glare before going back to her homework. 

“Girls! Hurry up with breakfast before you're late!” Mom yelled running through the house while biting into an apple. She had a meeting this morning and has been running around the house since 5 am. 

“Has anyone seen my phone?!” She yelled pulling her sweater over her head.

“Living room!” Hikari and I yelled back in unison. 

“Why is she always like this?” I asked, shaking my head. 

“Oneesan! Let’s get ice cream.” Hikari said happily as she and Hisako waited for me after school.

“Oh… I actually have plans.” I looked over her, smiling at the figure walking over towards us. 

“With who?” She pouted cutely. 

“With me.” Haru said leaning down to kiss me. 

“Okay ew. I guess I’ll go with Hisako.” Hikari said, walking away disgusted. She only walked a few feet before turning back to face us. 

“Wait are you officially back together?” 

“Maybe.” I winked, reaching up to kiss Haru’s cheek. Hikari walked away again with the same disgusted look walking faster to catch up with Hisako. I laughed reaching for Haru’s hand.

“Where do you wanna go?” Haru asked after walking around for a few hours.

“Let’s get ramen!” I cheered, grabbing Haru’s hand. There was a ramen shop that had opened up in Harajuku. 

“I see why you wanted to come here?” Haru laughed once we got to the building. I looked at him with a mischievous grin on my face.   

“How could I miss out on a Naruto themed ramen shop?” I squealed. Haru playfully rolled his eyes before following me inside. Everything felt normal again. After we talked at his house that night we talked a few more times before deciding to give our relationship another shot. I found us a table when Haru ordered the food. I felt off like someone was watching me. I haven't felt like this in awhile. It couldn't have been just me right? Hikari seemed fine so maybe this time it was really just me imagining things. I felt at ease when I saw Haru walking to our table.  

“Extra scallions, no garlic, firm noodles, extra spicy, and iced tea.” Haru smiled now sitting across from me. I smiled back happy that he still knows my ramen order. 

“And aren't you missing something?” I questioned. He laughed and pulled out a charm from his pocket. 

“And a Sasuke charm that you wouldn't let me leave without.” I smiled watching him add the charm to my keychain.

“Thank you.” The waiter came by with our food. I enjoyed every bite and planned to make Haru come back. While we were eating I noticed that Haru tensed up a bit. Maybe he was nervous. That wasn't like him though. After dinner we walked around Harajuku for a little while longer, popping in a few stores along the way. I noticed that Haru seemed distant and distracted. He only replied back to me with “yeah” or “okay”.  

“Haru?” I stopped him by standing in front of him. 

“What’s up?” he asked, confused. 

“Why are you so distant tonight?” He came closer now standing right in front of me, looking down. “Why are you so tall?” I mumbled looking up at him.

“Babe i'm fine.” he reassured, leaning down to kiss me. “Are you sure? We promised not to keep secrets from each this time.” 

“I promise I'm fine. Let’s go home though. I don't need your mom yelling at me because I brought you back past curfew.” he laughed. 

“It wouldn't be the first time.” 

Haru’s pov

I dropped Yua off and told her goodnight. Her mom gave me some lemon bars to give to my mom. My mom loved Naomi’s lemon bars. Walking back to my house I felt someone following me. I picked up on his scent. It was the same from earlier. I turned around to face where the scent was coming from.

“I know you're following me so just come out. I don’t bite well, not always” I was met with a teen boy with blue eyes dressed in all black. 

“So you’re the one that’s been stalking my girlfriend.” 

“I wouldn’t call her your girlfriend since she’s been crying about how you left her for a long time now. Maybe you should leave her again. That would make my job a lot easier” The boy said completely unbothered.

I looked him up and down before grabbing him by his collar “Who the fuck are you and what do you want with my girl?”

The boy yawned as if he was bored and pushed me off of him. “ You're in my business, don't do that. I’m pretty sure you have your secrets that you wouldn’t want her to know right?” He looked at me and his eyes were very cold. The boy smirked at me “you're pathetic and not worth my time so  let me handle my business in peace.”

He tried to walk away from me but I wasn’t about to let him go without knowing what he wanted from Yua. I grabbed his shoulder, turning him back towards me. “ If you think i’m just gonna let you leave then you got another thing coming. Now answer my question what the fuck do you want with Yua?!” I yelled as I attempted to punch him in the face but he dodged me and held a blank face as if he was bored.

The boy sighed before smirking at me. “You really wanna do this? Alright” He said before hitting me with a roundhouse kick catching me off guard hitting me directly in my jaw. I got ready to send another punch his way when I felt his knee hit me in the stomach with extreme force. I stepped back gasping for air. “Damn this guy is fast how did he land two hits in a blink of an eye!?”I looked at the boy who just looked at me and there was no smirk this time his face was serious.

  “I can do this all day. You wanna keep going? You seem out of it already so how about you dont waste anymore of my time.” he kept the same bored tone.

“Stay away from Yua and then I’ll leave you alone.” I growled this time using my speed and tackling him to the ground putting him in a headlock. I had to move faster than him if I wanted to get somewhere.

The boy sighed again and I heard him speak under his breath. “Idiot.” before breaking out of the headlock and elbowing me in my neck and sending a right hook across my face.  And just when I thought he was done he sent another kick hitting me straight under my chin sending me flying and hitting the concrete ground roughly.  “Next time you get in my way I won’t be so gentle.” the boy said before walking away.