#for anybody curious: jakurai is drinking an alcohol-free old fashioned

[pa-stella]

Flufftober 2022 - 27.10

Prompts | @flufftober

This is based on @jyushibat’s idea. Thank you for inspiring me! I took some liberties so it might be different from what you had in mind. I hope it's not a problem! Also, this took a different turn while I was writing it. Less romantic, more............... whatever is happening here. It's more Jakurai focused than what I had predicted. Weird.

Title: Yesterday and You Fandom: Hypnosis Mic Pairing: Jakurai/Hitoya Prompt: Reunion Words count: 1450 Contents: T-rated, mention of alcohol, mention of death, Hitoya is basically a therapist here.

I see your face, it's everywhere

I close my eyes, but you're still there

Reminding me of things we used to do

A long tired breath escaped Hitoya’s lips as he played with his almost empty glass. The bittersweet notes of that song and the alcohol weren’t helping his mood at all. 

Accepting a case in Shinjuku hadn’t been one of his best choices. He knew that part of Tokyo well enough to walk around without getting lost, but wherever he went giant posters and led screens would show him the known face of an old friend. Could they still be called that? Friends?

Far were the times when the two used to spend afternoons playing basketball or reading in silence, when the most important thing was a red number on a final test. The same times when kind smiles and calm words were enough to cool down any sort of argument. The same times when they’d look at each other a second too long and their cheeks would redden a little… 

He emptied the glass in one last sip and refused the bartender’s offer to refill it.

They had both made many mistakes that ruined their friendship but, in retrospect, Hitoya knew that his inferiority complex had played a large role in their distancing. He had taken all the grudge and the pain from the past and poured them in his career, reaching the highest point of satisfaction. But then, when the rap battles had started, all the feelings from his childhood had resurfaced. He had wanted to show him that he wasn’t living in his shadow anymore, that he had changed… but he had lost again and it hurt in the same way a lower grade did back in high school. 

Has Hitoya really become a different person? Why was he still trying to impress Jakurai? 

He was too tired to answer those questions or, maybe, he was trying to find one more excuse to avoid them.

After paying for his expensive whiskey, the lawyer stood up from the high stool and made a move to leave. He stopped at the entrance to zip his leather jacket up, but his eyes settled on the last thing he expected to see in a luxurious bar in the middle of the night.

That wasn’t a billboard, a screen or a hologram. No. Jakurai was really there.

I wonder what your heart is saying

When you hear a jukebox playing

The song that brings me yesterday and you

An hour had passed since the end of his shift, but he was still driving around the busy city. The doctor was tired, however there was something that made it hard for him to go back home that night.

He had lost a patient during the afternoon. The surgery had been successful, without mistakes or doubts, and yet… the young man’s heart had stopped anyway. It happened while they were moving him back to his private room. All the attempts of reviving him had failed and Jakurai, still wearing the bloody gown, had watched helplessly as life disappeared from his eyes.

He stopped the van at a red light and sighed loudly.

His knowledge, his talent, his skill… everything had been useless. How much did he still need to improve to prevent those things? Or was that proof that even he couldn’t fight against fate?

Somebody once told him that, no matter what others would say, he was just a human with limits and flaws. He chuckled remembering those words spoken with venom, those icy eyes burning with resentment. The very same eyes that had glared at him during the last rap tournament.

Jakurai sighed once more. 

He missed those days when they would chat for hours about nothing in particular. Those days when Hitoya’s tenacity would inspire him to work hard as well. Those days when he would spend nights thinking about all those silly and unique things his friend had the courage and ability to do.

If he had been more open and honest about his thoughts at the time, if he hadn’t been so worried about what was right and proper to think and say, would their friendship have lasted more? Would they have faced their personal tragedies in a different way?

Jakurai shook his head a little. The physical and mental fatigue of that day was making him dwell in the past. He noticed a dim lit bar and, without thinking, he parked right in front of it. He knew alcohol wasn’t good for him (Hifumi-kun had kindly shown him the videos of how bad it affected him), but maybe something light wouldn’t have the same effect. 

He waited for the quiet song to finish before turning the car off and entering the bar. The warm air invested him as soon as he went beyond the entrance, making him stop to take his coat off. A small movement in his peripheral vision caught his attention and he raised his head slowly.

It seemed as if fate had decided to play a little more with him that day.

After the initial shock, Hitoya just shrugged. “Jakurai.” He murmured.

“Hitoya.” Jakurai sounded surprised for once. “What brings you here in Shinjuku?”

“Work, obviously.” The lawyer sighed. “If I had time for a holiday, I wouldn’t be here.”

Jakurai just chuckled.

“What about you? What are you doing here?” Hitoya asked then.

This time the doctor didn’t answer and moved to the bar counter instead. He sat on one of the stools calmly before being approached by the bartender. “I’d like something…”

“Alcohol-free.” Hitoya finished his order while sitting down by his side. “And another glass of whiskey for me, thank you.”

“Hitoya…”

“Listen, this is a nice place. I don’t want you to destroy it in a booze induced rage fit.” 

The bartender took Hitoya’s money with a worried face before getting to work.

“Last time we met in a bar like this, it didn’t end well.” Jakurai commented with a sad smile. “Are you sure you want to join me?”

Hitoya chuckled bitterly. “We might not be friends anymore, but it would be cruel for me to leave you here when something is clearly wrong.”

Hesitation filled Jakurai’s chest. Was it right for him to talk about what had happened? “It has been a long day at work.” “Uh, really?” The lawyer thanked the bartender as he placed two glasses in front of them. “Let me tell you this. Alcohol is not the answer.”

“And yet…” He pointed to the glass half-full with whiskey.

Frowning, Hitoya turned to look at him. “Always so clever, huh?”

“...am I?” The question came out in a whisper as Jakurai took a sip of his own drink. The taste of black teas and spices lingered on his tongue.

“What happened?” Hitoya asked and the doctor really wanted to talk about that, about the thoughts he had while driving… but at the same time it was the last thing he wanted to do. He had no right to complain about something unfortunately so normal in his field. He had no right to keep bringing old memories up.

So he just smiled in his usual kind way. “As I said, it has been a long day. Nothing happened. I apologize if I made you worry.”

Different emotions appeared on Hitoya’s face, but in the end he just looked furious. “This is still your problem, Jakurai. You can’t expect people to understand you if you don’t talk.” He huffed. “And you should know by now that if you hide something, it won’t disappear.”

“...”

“What the hell am I doing here…” Hitoya murmured to himself in disbelief. He chugged the rest of his whiskey, but a hand placed right on his tight stopped him before he could get up. “What?”

“Hitoya.” He hesitated again for just an instant. “Please.”

The small pleading shocked the lawyer. He did not expect that. He was ready to tease Jakurai a little, but when he looked at him in the face, words got stuck in his throat. For the first time in decades of acquaintance, he saw despair and helplessness in Jakurai’s eyes. He hated that sight.

“Ok, fine!” He sighed while looking at his empty glass. “I didn’t even savor it…”

Jakurai chuckled. “I’ll pay for another one.”

“That is the least you can do.” Hitoya replied. When Jakurai tried to move his hand away from his leg, he held it there. They looked at each other again and, after some long seconds, Hitoya posed the same question as before. “What happened?”

Jakurai took a deep breath before finally beginning to talk. “A few weeks ago, I met a new patient…”