#for a while I was considering that my muse is too annoyingly and unnecessarily “complicated”

[phoenix-flamed]

I've been contemplating the last few days doing a complete overhaul of my muse, but ultimately have decided against it for a multitude of reasons -- and one of them is this headcanon.

My Elwin is an incredibly flawed man. He makes mistakes. In fact, he fucks up -- a lot. He fucks up as a father, and as a husband, and as a ruler. He even fucks up as a friend.

I know the game itself has this weird tendency to sort of almost paint him as this altruistic paragon of virtue by the way that the people of Rosaria talk about him, but not only is their opinion of him understandably biased, it's also not something I see as being the case at all, even canonically.

The approach I always try to take with my muse is that he tries to be these things. He tries to be selfless; he will give everything for his people. He will do anything for his people. He will sacrifice anything for his people, including the safety and immediate well-being of his own ill child; he sacrifices his relationships with his family, especially his sons, and he sets himself on fire again and again for the good of his people.

But this is not selflessness, in my opinion. This is selfishness while trying to be selfless. These sacrifices that he chooses to make for the good of his people do not just impact him, they negatively impact other people like his family as well. They don't just mean that he's giving up the bond he could have with his children, they also mean that he's robbing his boys of their father. It's things like that, if that makes sense?

He chooses to, overall, disregard the fact that he and Anabella do not agree on so many significant matters, and that the High Houses are very much against him and his agenda. He chooses to stand against them and push onward, because he believes it is right, and he believes it is just, and that it is for the greater good of everyone, including his family. But what he doesn't take into account is the fact that these choices, these decisions do not just impact him, again; they impact everyone around him as well, everyone that is close to him, including his own family.

He convinces himself that the choices he makes, the sacrifices he makes, the awful things he does, the blood that he spills -- all of these things are what needs to be done for the sake of his people. And this is not true. This is just a way for him to assuage some of the guilt he feels for making decisions that he doesn't want to make, yet goes ahead and does anyway, because in his eyes it's what's best for his people.

My favorite example of this is the situation with the Northern Territories, and his choice to bring Jill to Rosaria.

It's always, always what he believes is best for his people. Key word there is "believes". Just because you believe something is justified or "right" does not mean that it is justified or "right"; it doesn't work that way, nor do good intentions automatically mean that the outcome will be good or positive. You can have all of the best intentions in the world, but in the face of cause and effect and of consequences to one's actions, intentions mean absolutely nothing.

I could go on and on about my thoughts and views of this man, and how I strive to portray him, and the complexities of what he chooses to do and how he thinks, and how they translate into and impact his family and his people, but I'll sum it all up with this:

He's human. He is flawed. He is imperfect on all levels. He does good things, he does bad things. He can be kindhearted and compassionate and gentle and happy, and he can be ruthless and cruel and angry and emotional. He can be loving and devoted, and he can be narrow-minded and selfish. He's more than just this positive force of good and benevolence -- he is human, and he is messy and complex, and contradictory, and he is morally grey.