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judebellvngham · 1 year ago

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Hi can you possibly do like an angst with Jude and like the reader and jude are movjng to spain but like last minute she tells him she doesn’t want to stay there or something like that, maybe because of a job she got somewhere else?

you can do it however just something like that if you want

OUR PLACE , jude b.

notes: i really loved this request so i wanted to make it the first imagine on my acc :)) i’m not sure how much i like this but i hope you enjoy it .. i also added fluff at the end because who doesn’t love fluff

not proofread!!!

✩

“this place is beautiful” you say taking in you and jude’s new apartment in madrid. it was a surreal moment for both of you guys- finally living together in a whole new country. it was scary to say the least, and you thought it was something you wanted up until you actually had to leave.

it was immature of you, to not tell jude about your doubts of moving with him but everything happened so fast because you were sure he would understand. but with the transfer and him just being so happy about being at madrid you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you weren’t going to stay.

jude smiled down at you his eyes glistening with love that would’ve made any other girl drop to their knees, but all you could feel was guilt. you don’t know how it got to this point, all you knew was that as soon as you got of that jet reality hit you like a train wreck.

as much as you loved jude you couldn’t just leave all that you worked for just to support his needs, you had things you wanted to accomplish too. and you wanted to be there for him, truly. just not here.

“yeah, i can’t believe we are going to be living together- like a dream innit” his voiced laced with contentment.

you sighed deeply before giving him a smile, but your eyes showed something deeper.

“yeah a dream.”

✩

after a while of trying to settle you sat on the floor looking for food places near you and jude sat next to you tapping away on his phone.

“i still don’t understand why your bags aren’t here.. i swear i’ve called multiple times.” jude said frustrated letting out a huff.

at this your body stiffness and you go quiet biting your lip, you knew he was going to bring it up at one point. the thought of just telling him ran through your mind but your body just wouldn’t let you— you just continued scrolling through the phone.

“you put yours with mine right?”

you sighed, “i don’t know jude, i’m sure they will show up eventually.” you said not wanting to talk about it anymore.

he scoffed and looked at you, “i mean i paid for the bags to get here today, so no i don’t want to hear ‘eventually’ that’s just bs.” he looked back down at his phone and started typing.

you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before talking, “they aren’t coming jude.” your voice was low and full of disappointment.

jude snapped his head up towards you his face completely unreadable, “what?” it sounded almost like a laugh when he said it.

“they aren’t com—” you started but he cut you off and it almost sounded like he was confused.

“no- yeah i heard you the first time..” jude trailed off, guessing he was trying to understand what you meant by that.

you turned to face him before you started again, “i sent them back home.” and with that you genuinely couldn’t tell what he was thinking right now.

“you what?”

he wasn’t yelling but he might as well have been figuring you were already about to start bursting into tears. “jude..” you grabbed at his hands and he let you.

he let out a soft laugh, trying to hide how confused he felt right now.

“im so confused right now baby, what is happening.”

your breathing started to pick up but there was no backing out now. you picked at his hands and he just continued to look at you, and you couldn’t believe you had to break his heart tonight.

“i sent them back, because i’m not staying here jude. i can’t.” tears threatened to come out as you spoke.

he was still quiet so you continued to speak. “i mean- i just it’s just all too much for me, this isn’t my life.”

his face scrunched up, “what do you mean this isn’t your life?”

“i mean it feels like.. sometimes i’m like living for you? like i’m just giving up my life for you.. and i can’t do that anymore.”

“i still don’t get it y/n” he gave you a look as to explain.

“i stopped going to school for you, i stopped working for you, jesus jude i left my home for you. the only place i ever knew just for you, i just need to do something for me for once.” and of course jude had no idea that you felt this way and the intention wasn’t for him to you just felt that you needed to get it off your chest.

“so what? you were just lying this whole time? why would you even tell me you wanted to move here with me when you didn’t.”

he took a small pause, “and i never asked you to do anything of that, that was your choice- all of this was your choice so don’t make it seem like i made you do any of that.” his voice started to raise.

and he was right, he never made you do any of that. he never asked anything from you but support and it just went a little too far. but your face dropped when he started to pull his hands away from you.

jude was just completely out of it, he didn’t know at all what to think this was mad. how could his own girlfriend do something like that.

you scrambled to your feet and you couldn’t feel anything but hurt in your heart. “jude i have a new job back home, i have to work and support myself- i don’t kick around a ball and get paid for it jude.” and for some reason you were starting to get a little pissed.

“i can support you, i told you that!” you rolled your eyes at this because he still couldn’t grasp your point.

“jude i can’t rely on you to provide everything for me! i won’t let you do that.” you raised your voice at him while the tears that were welling up earlier started to pour out, and you quickly wiped it.

jude’s eyes looked so pleading and it almost made you fold but you couldn’t. it’s like he needed he you so bad to just say that this was some joke.

you weren’t shocked that this is the way this was going but god you wish it hadn’t. “are you upset?” it was a stupid question but you had to ask something.

“am i upset?” he looked at you as if it was the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard.

“am i upset that my girlfriend lied to me? and came to whole different country with me without the intention of staying?”

“i’m jumping of fucking joy” he spat walking away from you muttering curses to himself.

you trailed behind him trying not to get upset at his attitude since this was your fault technically, “okay jude but you have to understand where i’m coming from..”

“i have to?” he scoffed walking through the hallway.

“you should!”

you follow him into what was supposed to be our bedroom, already having a king sized bed placed in the center of the big room. you watch as he plops down on the bed his back sinking straight into it.

he let out a loud groan whilst running his hands down his face. “what am i supposed to do now?” he says as you sit next to him on the bed.

“jude.. ”

he stayed quiet and all you could hear was his heavy breathing. “you told me you wanted this.. us together like this. what changed?”

his hands started to tremble trying to think of what to say, because he genuinely didn’t know why all of a sudden you started to feel this way.

“are- are you falling out of love with me?” jude blurted out, his voice shaking. he didn’t even know where this question came from but he felt like he had to ask.

you could’ve sworn your eyes almost jumped out your eye sockets because how could he think something like that.

“jude. why would i ever stop loving you, almost everything i do is because i love you.” you explain with your voice trembling.

“so why can’t you stay with me?” jude’s voice was low almost like he didn’t want you to hear him, he hated being emotional in front of you but at this moment he couldn’t help it.

“i’ve already told you jude, i have a job and a life back at home i can’t let it go now.. i’ve worked too hard to just let it all go..”

he was now fully sat up looking at the plain white wall in front of us. it was such an uncomfortable and tense silence you just wish you could go home and cry your eyes out. this was horrible.

he also wanted to cry and tell you how messed up this whole situation was. but nothing came out seemed like the only reaction he had was putting his hands over his face.

you grab his hands away from his face, but he turns his head to avoid making eye contact with you. he was disappointed and you understood why he felt like this completely, i mean springing this up on him the day you guys were moving in have to be too 10 worst ideas.

“jude look at me please.” you pleaded biting down on your bottom lip.

he slowly turned his head to face you, and his pouty face just made you smile taking his face in your hands making him look at you. as you continued to smile at him he couldn’t help but smile too- you were just so beautiful to look at he felt like he could admire you for hours.

“i’m sorry love, i should’ve told you. but you were just so happy- with the transfer and everything i couldn’t ruin that.”

“if you would’ve told me before i would’ve been a lot more understanding than i am now.. you know that.” jude sighed.

“i know..” you pulled his head into your shoulder taking his head in both of your arms massaging the back of his neck in circles.

you hear him let out another sigh of contentment which made you smile, “if it makes you feel any better i’ll be here for 3 weeks with you.”

“for some reason that doesn’t make me feel better but at least i’ll have you for a bit.”

“so are you okay? with me leaving?” you asked lifting his head back up.

“am i okay with it? no, absolutely not.” he answered and you let out saddened sigh.

“but i will accept it and continue to make our relationship work, because i love you and don’t want to lose you.” jude said and you smiled throwing yourself on top of him basically straddling him, both of you giggling.

“of course my girlfriend has to want to be an independent woman.” jude shook his head and you both laugh.

he wrap his arms around you his hands on your lower back.

“we should go ahead and break in this bed huh?”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #real madrid #jb5 #footballer #footballer x reader #footballer angst #fluff #footballer fluff #soccer #football #footie #jude #first imagine #x reader

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