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andrewmoocow · 1 year ago

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A Postmortem on the FLCL Sequels

So, with the end of FLCL Shoegaze comes the end of the FLCL series. Or at least, the end until Production I.G. decides to dig it back up and see what they can do with it now that they're no longer co-producing new seasons with Adult Swim. Whether or not they were good will be a debate that'll be as endless as who would win between Goku and Superman, but that's why I'm here to give my thoughts on all four of them, my history with the series, and do my best to analyze the themes encompassing this era of FLCL. So you all better pack your bags, ladies, gentlemen, germs, and every other gender in-between, because you're about to go on a trip.

As far as I can remember, I was relatively new to the FLCL fandom when Progressive first aired in 2018. I was introduced to the original series by my art therapist in 2016, I got the complete series DVD by Funimation for my birthday (along with the first two seasons of Rick and Morty on Blu-Ray), and my life was possibly changed forever. After watching the first episode, I told my art therapist how I thought it was a mix of Rick and Morty and Star vs the Forces of Evil in how they both centered on an average awkward boy (Naota, Morty, Marco) being taken on bizarre adventures by some lunatic from beyond the stars (Haruko, Rick, Star) and learning valuable lessons from having his life repeatedly put at risk.

At first, I didn't entirely pay attention to the messages because I was more distracted by the fun animation, giant robots, excellent dialogue (Kari Wahlgren and Barbara Goodson have such great chemistry together, by the way), and Haruko herself, who quickly became one of my top waifus and comfort characters. A few months later, one Tuesday evening in April 2017, I came up with the idea to have Haruko hang out with Dipper and Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls, wrote it down on the notes app of my phone, and so began my fanfic-writing career. I just thought that FLCL's off-the-wall humor would fit pretty well with the weirdness of Gravity Falls, and I also believed that Haruko and Grunkle Stan would make a great duo. And sure enough, the resulting story I called Fooly Falls was successful, and I've been writing crossovers ever since.

Now that we have my humble beginnings as a fanfiction writer out of the way, let's move on to talking about Progressive already. As the only true sequel to FLCL out of this bunch, it naturally had much to live up to, like most sequels. Studio Gainax was practically a walking corpse with most of its big franchises going elsewhere with Studio Khara making the Rebuild of Evangelion movies, Panty and Stocking being put in hibernation before it was announced Studio Trigger would pick up its long-awaited second season years later (by the way, FLCL animated by Trigger. Just imagine the possibilities), there was an entirely new cast of characters for Haruko to mess with so she can have some of that sweet Atomsk pie, and most famously, they had a completely new creative team since most of them were off at Trigger. I remember all the theories about what Naota and Mamimi were up to around this time. While they were all proven false, it was interesting to see so many different ideas.

To give a brief rundown, our favorite answer to the question "What happens when you stick Rick Sanchez, Star Butterfly, Deadpool, and The Doctor in a crack den together and made them lick from the same frog?" has returned to Earth in search of another troubled kid to sexually harass so she can get her hands on Atomsk, this time it's Hidomi Hibajiri, an aloof girl who has bizarre dreams of everybody dying and tearing each other apart. But also along for the ride is Julia Jinyu, a very Haruko-like woman (and also one of the most underrated anime characters in recent memory) who also pursues Atomsk and later turns out to be Haruko's more moral other half. Think of it like Kami and King Piccolo from Dragon Ball being the good and evil halves of the same Namekian, Stripe and Gizmo from Gremlins, the Skesis and the Mystics from The Dark Crystal, Scott Pilgrim and Nega-Scott, Urizen and V from Devil May Cry 5 both coming from Vergil, Ansem and Xemnas from Kingdom Hearts being the Heartless and Nobody of Xehanort, etc. Jinyu was probably my favorite character from the sequels overall. I liked her design, her voice by the excellent Allegra Clark, her interactions with Hidomi, and the dynamic she had with Haruko, which gave me a ton of Stan and Ford vibes. And it's through that dynamic that I present to you what I believe to be the overall message of the sequels, that being to let go of the past so you can embrace the future.

Throughout the entire season, Haruko is even more obsessed with Atomsk than ever after a near-successful attempt at capturing the Pirate King that resulted in the creation of Jinyu, who wants Atomsk to remain free, which causes the two to argue in pretty much every scene they appear together in. Meanwhile, Hidomi's mother says that at some point, they should stop waiting for the absent Mr. Hibajiri, but Hidomi still thinks he's out there, which creates some drama in the climax of the season. Ultimately, Hidomi's arc comes full circle once she ditches the headphones she wears to shut out the world around her and accepts everything for what it is. At the same time, when it seems like Haruko will finally get her hands on Atomsk, the normally bold and brash biker babe starts crying over how the Pirate King doesn't want to accept her feelings. However, Atomsk decides to throw Haruko a bone and hug her before returning Jinyu to life and giving the Vespa Woman the comfort she needed at the moment. To quote Ide in that exact scene, all beautiful things eventually fade away.

When I turned FLCL Progressive into Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star, I made this message about letting go of the past much more obvious through the plotline involving Grunkle Stan's grudge against Haruko. Twenty years after the events of Fooly Falls, Stan never forgave Haruko for betraying his trust by nearly getting Dipper and Mabel killed in her quest for Atomsk, and he still holds that grudge even at the ripe old age of 79. Naturally, Dipper, Mabel, and Ford aren't very trusting of Haruko either, as the three thought she was just an awkward memory they'd soon forget over time. Since then, Dipper moved to Gravity Falls after finishing college to take up Ford's apprenticeship, Mabel followed behind to continue a romantic relationship with Pacifica, and Ford soon formed a friendship with Jinyu like the one Stan and Haruko had in the past.

Meanwhile, Gwen Pines, the daughter of Dipper and Wendy, has nightmares like Hidomi's that usually involve the destruction of the world because she fears a future where she could lose her family, her friends, her home, and eventually herself. Similarly, though not as apparent as Gwen, her little brother Tyrone, and three of Soos & Melody's children, Leia, Juan, and Joseph "Jorgé" Ramirez, all fear growing up while Ian and Imelda Ramirez act too mature for their age. And finally, there's Mabel and Pacifica's adopted son Arnold, who is a constant nervous wreck as a result of Pacifica dedicating her life to being a superior parent to her own parents and smothering Arnold with as much love as possible, making Arnold a very timid mama's boy who's not too keen on breaking out of his comfort zone. Whenever he is forced to try new things, hilarity usually ensues, and something bad happens as a result. By the end of the story, however, Stan lets go of his feud with Haruko as he dies, all the kids have grown as people from their adventures together, and Haruko learns from Dipper that she can't force someone to love her, as Dipper has tons of experience in that regard with his childhood crush on Wendy, before accepting Jinyu as like a sister to her and the two of them ride off into the sunset to stop Medical Mechanica.

Now we move onto FLCL Alternative, which I plan on turning into a prequel to Fooly Falls/Rick and Morty crossover titled Rick and Haruko. In this season, we focus on 17-year-old Kana Koumoto and her friends as they await the impending awkwardness of adulthood until Haruko and Medical Mechanica crash into their lives. As I stated earlier, Rick and Haruko will be a prequel to Fooly Falls, expanding on revelations in Fooly Falls 2 that Haruko came from a dystopian hellhole that was about to be destroyed by the Cromulons and Atomsk until she found herself entangled in the adventures of Rick Sanchez, Birdperson, and Squanchy. However, if you've read Fooly Falls 2, you'd know that eventually, Haruko would betray Rick and become the Vespa Woman we all know her as through a combination of her growing lust for Atomsk and having a toxic role model in Rick. How all that goes down, you'll have to wait and see.

Similarly, Kana's friendship with Pets starts to come crashing down when she discovers Pets' crummy home life and tries to help her, but this, unfortunately, goes poorly when Kana realizes that she was taking her friendship with Pets for granted, forcing her to accept that adulthood isn't as bad as she thinks she is. Correlating to the theme of accepting the future I brought up earlier and will become even stronger once I talk about Alternative's follow-up Shoegaze, Kana still has much growing up to do.

And now we move on to Shoegaze, quite possibly the most controversial sequel season since Progressive. No joke, when I first saw the trailer, I thought we were getting a FLCL video game that wasn't Hi-Fi Rush or Bomb Rush Cyberfunk. Yeah, the switch to CGI definitely took some getting used to, and the fact that the season was only three episodes long for reasons that will forever elude me certainly didn't help me and other viewers adjust to the change.

Anyways, in what is apparently a prequel to the original series, though I don't see it outside of Haruko searching for Atomsk again, what seems to be the origins of the Rickenbacker, and the presence of our favorite sopping wet cat with eyebrows that are definitely compensating for something, Commander Amarao, Grunge takes place in a wretched hive of scum and villainy called Okura where we focus on three of its young residents getting caught up in some classic FLCL shenanigans. Shinpachi is tired of how ambivalent his sushi chef father is towards the state of their world. Shonari is a rock man who had to flee his home planet with his brother after Medical Mechanica took it over, only to become a victim of bullying as a result while said brother fell in with one of the local yakuza gangs. Finally, Orinoko is raised by her single father and their family's robot. Rather than easing us into this new world before it all goes to hell, we begin with getting straight into the action as Haruko kills an important member of Medical Mechanica with tainted sushi, makes Shinpachi her new Naota, and kills the mayor before turning all the yakuza against each other while she hacks into Medical Mechanica to release Atomsk. Yeah, it's definitely a lot to take in for just the first episode.

To put it in Layman's terms, Shinpachi believes he has no future in Okura, Shonari is disappointed with his brother becoming a drunkard doing the yakuza's dirty work, and Orinoko has mommy issues that she vents on the robot, who later turns out to have her mother's consciousness uploaded into it upon her death. As Shin narrates in the first episode, nobody in his world has any hope left except for the chance to get the hell out of dodge by rocket. He, Shonari, and Orinoko dream of one of them finding a way out of Okura to a better life, but then in comes Haruko to cause her usual brand of chaos in search of Atomsk.

I want to bring up Orinoko in particular because while she does dream of a better future, she also has trouble letting go of the past by refusing to accept the house robot as like a mother to her, only for her to change her mind when she learns that the robot houses her mother's mind, so she's still alive in a sense. Afterward, Haruko gives the three kids a ticket off of Okura, but Orinoko is the only one to use the ticket to leave and pursue the future she wants, while Shin and Shonari have their hopes for their futures restored.

Lastly, there's Shoegaze, the current final season of FLCL, or at least the last season Production I.G. will co-produce with Adult Swim, according to Jason DeMarco on his Twitter. Ten years after the bizarre end of FLCL Alternative, we pick up with Masaki Aofuji, who can see weird ghost-like creatures who project screenshots of the previous seasons on his body. Joining him are Kana and Tsukata Kanda, returning from Alternative, along with another very Haruko-like girl named Harumi Araisho. I'll admit I was one of the few speculating heavily on whether Harumi and Haruko were somehow connected. Maybe Harumi was actually Haruko in disguise, another part of her like Jinyu was, or even an evil clone created by Medical Mechanica. But in actuality, Harumi was a completely separate character, and Haruko didn't even show up at all. But I'll get further into that later.

The premise of this season is Masaki and Harumi adventuring into a mysterious tower, and it's up to Kanda and a grown-up Kana to stop whatever Harumi has planned because it turns out she's a Medical Mechanica sympathizer. However, it turns out that there is far more to Harumi than we're led to believe. As it turns out, Harumi is actually from another dimension where she was actually a boy and was displaced into Masaki and Kana's dimension due to the end of Alternative that caused the universe to split into two. The now female Harumi is left lost in this strange new world, wondering if they really belong, which causes them to become kindred spirits with the equally isolated Masaki.

Now let's get into the real meat and potatoes of this section and what I believe shall validate my point made here. In the ten years that passed since Alternative, Kana never quite got over her breakup with Pets and was experimented on by the government to try and reawaken her N.O. powers in the hopes that she would be able to restore the universe to normal, slowly separating Kana from her remaining friends in the process and generally ruining her life in general. In episode 2, as she confronts Masaki and Harumi on top of the tower, Kana pours her heart out in an impassioned speech about how people had high expectations for her and that she wasn't prepared for the responsibilities thrust upon her. But despite everything she went through and all of her regrets, Kana just kept rolling with life's punches, displaying how while she's trying to live in the now, she remains stuck in the past.

By contrast, Harumi gives their own speech about how they'd rather live in the now and live their life to the fullest. Or at least what life they did have before it was almost cut short by an easily scared sniper, and the resulting burst of N.O. energy from Masaki nearly joins the two universes together again, just as Kanda planned. However, in the chaos, Harumi is returned to their original dimension and gender, while Masaki's life is returned to normal once the dust settles. However, he gets to see Harumi again thanks to Atomsk allowing him to cross dimensions and visit the Mars colony Harumi and their sister live on while also making sure to deliver Pets a letter from Kana.

In conclusion, the FLCL sequels may seem incredibly disjointed at first. Still, through my best attempt at analyzing them all, I can conclude that while they have differing messages and themes, they are ultimately carried by the overarching theme of the past versus the future that also connects to the classic series's message of the weirdness of growing up and how you should just live in the now instead of acting more mature than you actually are. As a wise woman once said, "You're still just a kid, Takkun."

Oh boy, this took me a while! I've just been in such a FLCL mood for a while now and I just needed to get this off my chest, but I simply had trouble how. Anyways, now that this analysis is finally done, be sure to keep an eye out for the following stories in the Fooly Falls universe!

Fooly Falls: A FLCL Christmas in Gravity Falls (a Christmas special born from watching Dragon Ball Z Abridged's Christmas Tree of Might and Plan to Eradicate Christmas, coming as soon as I finish Steven Universe Snake Eyes)

Rick and Haruko (tying into Grunge & Shoegaze and Rick and Morty season 7, to be released hopefully in 2024)

FLCL on Infinite Earths (the epic grand finale of the Fooly Falls timeline crossing the cast over with characters from the original FLCL, Progressive, and Alternative, along with tons of other series due to cameo in Rick and Haruko in a multiversal crisis taking cues from Super Robot Wars and the various DC Comics crisis events. Possibly coming in 2024, or maybe even 2025 to tie in with FLCL's 25th anniversary)

Until we can swing the bat again FLCL, ride on.

#flcl #flcl progressive #flcl alternative #flcl grunge #flcl shoegaze #fooly falls #fooly falls 2: ride on shooting star #rick and haruko #analysis

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andrewmoocow · 11 months ago

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Rick and Haruko chapter 1: Show Me What You Got (originally published on January 28, 2024)

AN: Guess who's back? Back again? Haruko's back, tell a friend! And this time, she won't be hanging around the Pines family in Gravity Falls because this time, we'll be going all the way back to her untold origin story first revealed in Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star. Everything from the destruction of her home planet all the way up to the fabled Mechanica Mission where Haruko betrayed Rick, Birdperson, and Squanchy to get her grubby mitts all over Atomsk, and everything in between shall be revealed here at last, which will take a few cues from FLCL Alternative & Grunge and naturally involve a ton of crossovers because that's basically my special interest. Revealing just how Haruko became the woman she is today is going to be a very interesting ride, especially since as of now, FLCL has finished its final two seasons and we still know nothing of her origins. Or at least, its final two seasons until Production I.G. decides what else they can do with the franchise next. I think I'm talking too much, let's get on with it!

It started like any other day on the planet Wasprus for the past seven years. Workers would wake up, get ready, go to work, go home, and repeat the process for the next day. It wasn't always this way, though. Wasprus was once known as a relatively stable and prosperous planet. Then, everything changed when a mysterious megacorporation called Medical Mechanica conquered this world and forced its inhabitants to work themselves to death to produce Medical Machines.

One such inhabitant was a 19-year-old young woman named Haruha Raharu. She was a tall, slender girl with dull brown hair and sickly yellow eyes who was but one of many busy bees forced to do backbreaking labor for her planet's new mysterious overlords. Haruha remembered how they arrived when she was only twelve years old and tried to reach a peaceful agreement with Wasprus's government, but when a band of rebels led by Raharu's mother Rihanna broke into their headquarters and learned of the company's true plans, MM decided to cut to the chase and staged a hostile takeover. Most of the rebels were imprisoned and executed, but Rihanna managed to get away and went into hiding, only to be killed years later by her drunken husband. Although Haruha drifted away from her mother due to how often she was away as a member of the resistance, she does remember Rihanna as a kind and imaginative woman who encouraged Haruha's creativity and would do anything for her family.

"ALL WORKING-CLASS CITIZENS WILL BE FINED IF THEY ARE LATE!" a loud announcer commanded while sirens began blaring, cuing Haruha to get a move on and go to work. Along the way, however, she accidentally bumped into a man on the street, and the two fell over.

"Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!" Haruha cursed at the man while getting up and walking off. "And get to work already, sheesh."

"Ooh-la-la, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." the man belched in annoyance before taking a sip from his flask and hiding from the authorities in an alleyway. "Okay, guys, looks like we have a bit of a problem here."

What Haruha didn't realize was that the man she bumped into would soon change her life forever. High above the planet's city of EroEro, hidden behind the smog that had covered the sky, the faint silhouette of a red phoenix hovered in the air.

Upon reaching her designated locker at the Medical Mechanica factory where she worked, Haruha put away her belongings before she heard a peppy, New Zealand-accented voice call out for her. "Hey Raharu, good morning!" It was her good friend Grok, a tall and muscular member of her species with blue hair and green eyes who she always saw with a cheerful smile on his face despite the horrible environment they grew up in. "Whew, good to see you're still alive. I was worried you would be sentenced to the camps for being late."

"Thanks, Grok." Haruha smiled weakly at Grok before she closed her locker. "So, how's your little revolution going?"

"Starting small, but I think I got something good here." Grok said eagerly. "Unfortunately, one of my applicants was caught with one of the pamphlets I sent out, and well, let's just say we won't be seeing him at work anymore. You remember Taro, right?" Raharu frowned in disappointment. Taro was another good friend from back when Wasprus wasn't under Medical Mechanica's control. Some might even say Haruha had feelings for him. She remembered Taro as socially awkward but extremely intelligent for his age, traits that Haruha found quite attractive. To hear that Taro was planning on rebelling against Medical Mechanica, only to lose his life for it, broke her heart.

"Ooh, you had a crush on him, didn't you?" Grok muttered while giving his coworker a pat on the back. "My deepest condolences, kiddo. I'll make sure to tell his family what happened, too." Suddenly, a massive silhouette towered over the pair, striking fear into their hearts as they turned around to discover their boss standing behind them. "Hey, boss, just having a little water cooler talk before work."

"You can talk with your friend later, Grok." Heinzenberg, a tall and robust man with a thick toothbrush mustache, a flattop haircut that was starting to grey at his temples, a very long nose, and a bizarrely large cigar in his mouth with "ALWAYS KNOWS BEST" written on it, declared as he folded his arms with an intimidating glare. "NOW GET TO WORK!"

"Yes sir, sorry sir!" Grok yelled in fright as he skittered away from Heinzenberg, leaving Haruha behind to face his wrath.

"And as for you, Haruha, I have a special job for you." Heinzenberg said while holding out a wrench. "Reports have come in about several defective Medical Machines in Sector C-618. Go fix them, and don't slack off."

"Yes sir, sorry sir." Haruha meekly replied as she took the wrench and walked away diligently, her nervous smile turning into an angry glare behind her boss's back. "Jackass."

Haruha's job was simple: Just get in with that wrench and fix the Medical Machines. The Medical Machines standing before her were all in various colors, but they were just as muted and uncreative as she expected everything on Wasprus to be. That was Medical Mechanica's goal, to snuff out all creativity and free will for whatever reason that she never bothered finding out.

"Strangers in the night, Scooby-Dooby-Doo." Haruha sang to herself as she popped open a teal Medical Machine's face and began investigating the source of the problem she was ordered to fix. "Hm, it doesn't seem like anything's wrong," she observed. "Maybe I should go a little deeper."

Just then, she heard a drop of water rhythmically dripping from a nearby pipe. It was a nice beat that Haruha simply couldn't resist tapping along to. The tune was almost intoxicating. She couldn't help but start drumming along. Using her wrench and a nearby rod, Haruha turned some nearby equipment into a makeshift drum kit to play with. She started making music, and it was some of the most fun music she had ever heard or played.

"Hey, keep it down in there, Haruha!" Heinzenberg roared as he kicked down the door to Sector C-618 to confront his rebellious employee. "Either stop those abominable sounds, or I'll do it for you!"

"Make me, you old fart!" Haruha cackled as she continued playing her tune. Without saying another word, Heinzenberg pulled out a laser cannon and began firing at Raharu, who dodged every attack before scampering off. "Try and catch me, brush face!"

"You'll pay for this, you freethinking brat!" Heinzenberg yelled as he pounded on one of the Medical Machines and made them all come to life, despite previously saying that they were all malfunctioning. "GET HER!"

The Medical Machines obeyed the supervisor's commands. They began opening fire at Haruha, who continued dodging every attack while causing massive damage to the factory, much to the annoyance of her coworkers.

"Hey, Haru. Do you think you could take your sticking it to the man down a notch?" Grok kindly asked his friend as the factory began collapsing in on itself. "We're all trying to work here."

"Oh, come on, Grok, I thought you were all about revolution!" Haruha exclaimed to her coworker. "Just live a little!"

"You're right, but I prefer me revolution to not cause any property damage!" Grok yelled back at Haruha as he began to run away from the collapsing factory with all the other workers.

As more Medical Machines were sent flying into the wall by Haruha, Heinzenberg turned his laser cannon up to eleven and prepared to disintegrate Haruha with a single blast. But Raharu would not go down easy. She picked up a broken pipe and leaped at her boss to use it as a baseball bat. "ALRIGHT, LUUUUUNCHTIIIIIME!" The pipe clashed with the laser cannon as it fired, creating a massive explosion that caused the iron to completely fall to pieces as the employees fled for their lives and caused shockwaves across the city.

When the dust settled, the area was in shambles, and Heinzenberg was completely furious. "HAAAAAAA-RUUUUUUU-HAAAAAA! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU'REEEEEEE FIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEDDDDD!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as Haruha was dragged out of the factory by a pair of Medical Machines. "And the rest of you, get out of here! You all get the day off until we can repair this dump!"

"Does that mean we get paid in advance?" Grok asked. Heinzenberg only replied with a long, braying laugh at his employee's expense for daring to ask such a question.

"You serious?" Heinzenberg replied once he stopped laughing. "The only one who will pay here is Raharu once her old man finds out what happened here."

Elsewhere in EroEro, the man Haruha bumped into earlier took a drink from his flask and let out a loud belch before turning to his two companions. "Well, boys, it looks like we won't be performing here for a long time."

"Indeed, Rick." A birdman replied while examining a holographic tablet. "It says here that for seven years, Wasprus has outlawed any form of creativity or freedom of expression after being taken over by Medical Mechanica. This is part of the company's goal of killing any free will across all dimensions, and you will find they will never stop."

"Aw, squanch!" A little cat person complained while kicking a rock into a trash can. "At least we can lay low here in the low-income parts of this planet until the coast is clear."

"Wait, both of you, shut up!" Rick ordered his companions as they watched a pair of Medical Machines drop Haruha Raharu off at her apartment home after she was fired. "I know that little shit! I bumped into her earlier today!"

"What's with the Medical Machines?" the cat asked.

"I believe those Medical Machines are bringing her home." The birdperson observed. "I fear for whatever she has to face in there."

As the Medical Machines departed, Haruha took a deep, solemn breath as she grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to the place she dreaded returning to the most. Back to her father.

Reagan Raharu sat in his chair watching TV, sweat matting his brown hair as he took a long, slow sip of his flask. He had been an obedient servant of his planet's new overlords for seven years, quietly nodding his head at every command while sitting back with a drink in hand. However, his daughter Haruha didn't quite so agree with his compliance, which led to frequent arguments between them as she got older, combined with the death of her mother in an accident. Just then, Reagan heard the door open behind him. "How was work today, Haruha?"

"I got fired." Haruha declared. "Finally."

"Could you please say that again?" Reagan declared gloweringly as he got up from his chair to confront his rebellious daughter. "You got fired?"

"Yeah, I got bored and started going all chitty-chitty bang bang on some pipes, but then Heinzenberg noticed and tried to kill me," Haruha said casually. "He then blamed me for destroying the factory, but what does he know? He prefers to blame everyone except himself!"

"Do you realize what you've done, Haruha?!" Reagan Raharu said as he gulped from his flask before smacking his daughter across the face. "Your slacking off and playing that infernal music nearly got us all in trouble!"

"You would not believe how boring my job gets!" Haruha tried speaking up for herself in defense. "Not everything has to be about conforming to our society's unrealistic standards, y'know!" She then pointed out the window towards some depressed residents of EroEro. "I mean, look at her, look at him, look at all of them. They don't know what they have inside of them. They're just sleepwalking through life, wondering when something amazing is going to happen on this planet when they aren't going to get any because they're forced to conform."

"I don't give a rat's ass about standards or conformity, young lady!" Reagan continued ranting. "Either behave like every other girl on this godforsaken planet or never show your face around me again!"

Just then, the cruddy apartment home of the Raharus started rumbling, and a loud voice bellowed, "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT!" The ceiling began falling to pieces little by little; all capped off with a steel girder losing its support and falling right over Haruha's father.

"WHAT THE FU-" was all Reagan could scream before the girder reduced him to a puddle of red. As relieved as Haruha was to see her abusive father finally die, she had no time to relish in this. Whatever this voice needed, Haruha wanted to find out.

"This is it, Haru. This could be your big chance!" Haruha said as she peeked out her window to discover a giant head looming over Wasprus, its mere presence causing massive damage to the planet's ecosystem as emergency sirens began blaring.

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the head boomed, the shockwaves from its voice sending dozens of Medical Machines ordered to attack it flying away.

"Looks like it's time for me to save the world." Haruha stated as she combed through her crumbling home in search of something to battle with. Looking through her parents' destroyed bedroom, Haruha sifted her hands through the rubble until she found a Gibson Flying V hidden under the bed her mother used to play for her. "Long time no see, old girl. Did you miss me?"

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the head roared, prompting Haruha to burst out of the bedroom and prepare to leave home in pursuit of her destiny.

"Well, guess this is it." Haruha declared as she turned to face her crummy apartment one last time. "Goodbye, water-stained ceiling. Goodbye, silverware drawer that doesn't close all the way. Goodbye, carpet that's never been dry. Goodbye, lamp that shocks you every time you touch it. Goodbye, plastic bag of plastic bags. Goodbye, medicine cabinet with sentient black mold in the corner with a taste for human flesh."

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the head interrupted Haruha's bitter farewell to her old home.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh, keep your pants on!" Haruha groaned before closing the front door and hopping on a hover-scooter, leaving behind her old life once and for all as the vibrations of the head's roaring caused the apartment to fall apart entirely.

"All citizens remain calm and proceed in an orderly fashion to the shelters." a member of Wasprus's police force commanded the citizens of EroEro as they marched to safety from the giant head, aided by members of the Galactic Federation. "Damn these Cromulons. I never would've guessed they'd show up one day."

"Hey, aren't we missing a few?" another officer asked before presenting a hologram of the Raharu family members. Both Reagan and Rihanna Raharu were labeled as deceased, but their daughter was dubbed at large. "All units, comb the city and bring us Haruha Raharu!"

"Look!" Heinzenberg yelled as he pointed at Haruha in the distance on her scooter. "I can see her right over there! Get her!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit, Raharu!" Grok exclaimed joyfully as he punched a police officer in the face and stole his laser gun. "The revolution has finally begun!" The other members of Grok's rebellion against Medical Mechanica cheered for their freedom and immediately began taking up arms against their oppressors. "Thank you, old friend, for everything."

"Grok, my broski, you finally got that freedom fighter team started!" Haruha said as she stopped her scooter in front of the masses to greet her coworker. "Good for you!"

"Halt, young lady! You are in violation of Medical Mechanica's orders!" the police officer stated while his partner summoned a fleet of Medical Machines to bring her in. "Step away from the scooter with your hands in the air and hand over your musical instrument so no one has to get hurt."

"Just let me pass, you guys. I'm trying to save your ungrateful asses here." Haruha urged the cops while looking towards the Cromulon invading Wasprus. "You'll all thank me later when I deliver you from evil!"

"I'm going to assume you killed your father before coming here." Heinzenberg said, confronting his former employee while revealing the hologram tablet of her family. "It doesn't have to be like this, young lady. Just put everything down and come with us to safety. Perhaps I can hire you back and offer you a promotion if you come with me. I'm practically the only family you have left."

Enraged at her abusive boss implying that the two of them were like father and daughter, Haruha launched into a furious tirade against her home planet's current state. "YOU ALL ARE SO ANNOYINGLY STERILE; I'M LITERALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW! If there were a Guinness Record for fascism, you would hold it!" she screamed while highly stylized kanji began flying around, confusing everyone present. "So go on with your Big Brother is Watching bullcrap and your egotistical indoctrination; it just proves you're one of the lunatic cringe! This part doesn't make sense when we translate it, so just forget it! Do you know what this is like? When you're watching something subtitled because dubs suck? And the only people who laugh are the native speakers!"

"What are you even on about?" Heinzenberg asked, raising an eyebrow at Haruha's enraged rant before he was suddenly decapitated by a swing of her Gibson Flying V, causing his head to go airborne before landing on the ground in front of Haruha, which she stepped on and created a bloody mess beneath her feet.

"Damn, I always wanted to do that." Haruha smirked to herself in sadistic pride before looking to the police. "Anyone else wanna come with him?"

"Okay, we're dropping all pretenses. KILL HER!" the leading policeman commanded his armored troops to shoot Haruha down, but she dodged every single projectile fired at her while cutting down more cops with her guitar. "How can she even do that with a guitar!?"

"Because she believes in freedom, just like the rest of us!" Grok proclaimed happily, unaware that his group of rebels had all been massacred for their crimes until he came face to face with a gun to his chest. "Oh crap."

The gun fired, and Grok was left with a giant hole in his chest as he slowly collapsed from the grievous wounds. "Ah well, it was fun while it lasted." Grok shrugged as he took his death in stride and fell to the ground. With Grok dead, Haruha virtually had no one left to call friends or family on Wasprus. But when she would save the planet, that would all soon change as she escaped the police and made her way towards the Cromulon.

"HMMM." the Cromulon muttered while pursing its lips. "NONE OF YOU WANT TO SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! NOW PREPARE TO BE DISQUALIFIED!" The Cromulon then revealed a giant laser cannon pointed straight at Wasprus and poised to destroy the planet once and for all had it not been for one resident having the gall to oppose them.

"WAIT!" Haruha yelled as she got up on an abandoned stage and presented her Flying V to the Cromulon. "Let me show you what I got!" The residents of Wasprus began to crowd around the stage while the police watched with intrigue.

"Everyone, hold your fire." the officer stated. "I think this girl may be our last hope."

"Oh, so now you finally realize it!" his partner exclaimed angrily before slapping his superior in the face.

"FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO TAKES THE CHALLENGE!" the Cromulon boomed while the laser cannon retreated. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME, YOUNG LADY?"

"My name is Haruha Raharu." Haruha introduced herself to the Cromulon. "Can you please tell me what you want?"

"WE ARE THE CROMULONS, HOSTS OF THE INTERGALACTIC REALITY SERIES PLANET MUSIC, WHERE WE ORDER PLANETS TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT WITH MUSIC." the Cromulon explained. "IF YOUR MUSIC DOESN'T SATISFY US, THEN YOU SHALL BE DISQUALIFIED!"

"Well, I guess I might be willing to take that challenge!" Haruha declared bravely as she finished tuning her guitar. "Now then, may I?"

"PLANET WASPRUS, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the Cromulon answered, compelling Haruha to play her guitar for the amazed crowd that had gathered before her. Haruha didn't have a particular song in mind; she was just content with rocking out on her guitar and playing an ode to dreamers like her across the universe who started from nothing.

"Mom, this one is for you!" Haruha muttered to herself while her music got louder and the outline of a giant red phoenix glowed brighter and brighter in the sky. "I'm doing it; I'm really doing it!"

"Stop right there, brat!" one outraged Wasprian police officer yelled as he stopped Haruha's performance and pointed his gun at her. "I'm going to make you pay for killing my brother, Raharu! Heinzenberg was a good man who wanted to make a living and support his people, and you took that away from us!"

"Kind of in the middle of something here, douchebag," Haruha complained while lowering the gun to her face.

"BOO, NOT COOL!" the Cromulon agreed with Raharu while the audience began complaining as well. "DISQUALIFIED!"

"Aw shitballs, you guys, we gotta run!" the belches of a middle-aged man sounded as he and his two companions, a stonefaced bird person, and a catlike creature, ran for the hills to a hijacked cargo ship. Haruha immediately recognized the man as the one she bumped into on her way to work earlier, but who were the other two with him?

"Running from what? The Galactic Space Patrol Brotherhood, the Cromulons, or Medical Mechanica?!" the cat-man asked.

"All of them!" the old man yelled.

"And it's not just them. Look." Birdperson announced, pointing upward to a giant red phoenix that warped itself over Wasprus.

"IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST JUDGE!" the Cromulon boomed. "LEGENDARY PIRATE KING ATOMSK, SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!"

While the old man and his posse urged Haruha not to give in, she was utterly mesmerized by Atomsk's might as she slowly stepped towards him. There was something so radiant about this strange creature that had appeared to destroy her planet; it was almost magnetic.

"Don't do it, babe, that's Atomsk! His power will seriously screw with your head!" the man warned, but Haruha didn't listen and reached out to the giant bird while her hair turned into a bright shade of pink. A large chain wrapped around the Pirate King's neck attached to the girl's wrist, and she pulled it with all her might, eventually breaking it in two.

Just as Atomsk screeched, Raharu was dragged away by the bird person and raced to the cargo ship, escaping the doomed Wasprus in the nick of time before it completely exploded from Atomsk's presence while the Cromulon made its escape. "Welp, there goes that gig." the man groaned in defeat, taking a chug out of a flask. "How's our extra cargo doing?"

"Still out squanch from Atomsk." the cat-person stated, checking for a pulse just as their passenger came to.

"Oh geez, what happened?" Haruha moaned, rubbing her head when she took notice of the old man, the bird, and the cat surrounding her. "Where am I, and who are all of you?!"

"Well, I can assure you, miss, I am not a man in a suit that will teach you the alphabet." the birdman answered. "You may call me Birdperson. These two are my bandmates, Squanchy and Rick."

"Okay, we played the name game. But where's my planet?!" Raharu shouted, grabbing the two animal-like creatures by their collarbones.

"Well, funny story, babe, might wanna squanch around and see what happened." Squanchy suggested trying to break free, and the girl took his suggestion, gazing out the back window to find what was left of her home planet.

"My home's all gone." Haruha muttered, shedding a few tears, but those tears were soon replaced with a celebratory manic grin. "I'M FREE!"

"Whoa now, aren't you the least bit torn up about everyone you ever loved there now pretty much dead?" Squanchy stated.

"I don't care, 'cause no one felt that about me either!" the Flesh Curtains' passenger whooped. "No more shitty dad, no more boring job, and no more stifling of creativity!"

"Hell yeah, now you're speaking my language!" Rick replied merrily. "Hey, didn't get your name, lass. What do they call you?" he asked, putting a microphone to the girl's mouth.

"I'm Haruha Raharu." she introduced herself. "I'm pretty sure you might've heard earlier, but it bears a little repeating."

"Hm, doesn't roll off the tongue as much." the drunken traveler commented. "You ever tried picking up a name like the ones in the comics like Peter Parker, Reed Richards, Billy Batson, or Fred Flintstone?"

"I don't believe that last one came from a comic." Birdperson tried to correct his bandmate until he was shushed.

"I got a great one! How about Haruko Haruhara?" Sanchez announced, pretending to knight the girl with a Rickenbacker bass.

"I like it, really does sound like those old comics!" the newly renamed Haruko exclaimed. "So where to?"

"Wherever the hell we want to!" Squanchy answered, pointing onward to the stars beyond. As the four began laughing the day away, Haruko started to think back to her encounter with Atomsk. She had only heard stories about how he was the freest being in all of space, and now she got to see him up close. The sheer power the Pirate King possessed felt utterly hypnotizing to Haruko. She must have it for herself. But as she would soon realize, this girl wasn't the only one who coveted Atomsk's power.

In a spaceship hovering above the remains of Wasprus, a man looked down upon the ruined planet with disdain while nursing a glass of rosé wine in his hand. He looked like your average businessman with his sharp suit and unkempt pale blonde hair, but his most defining feature was the mechanical prosthetics on his body. His hand was replaced with a mechanical arm with claw-like fingers and an omega symbol on the back, and a metallic mask covering the bridge of his nose and his strong chin. This man was Repre S. Entative, the appropriately named Representative Director of Medical Mechanica.

"So you can confirm that every last inhabitant of Wasprus is dead?" Repre asked a Medical Machine standing by his side.

"Affirmative, death toll of Wasprus's destruction: complete." The Medical Machine responded calmly.

"Shame. They were such busy little bees." Repre shook his head in disgust while taking a sip of his wine. "Go out and search that asteroid field for anything that can still be useful to us."

"However, you must be informed of a few things of note." The Medical Machine declared as its screen presented specific information about the planet's destruction. "Although we can confirm that every inhabitant of Wasprus is dead, one managed to escape before the planet's destruction with assistance from Rick Sanchez of Dimension C-137 and his accomplices."

Repre loudly spat out his wine in response to the news. "WHAT?!"

"In addition, the Cromulons' invasion of Wasprus also had an uninvited guest in the form of the Pirate King, Atomsk." The Medical Machine continued while revealing a picture of the Pirate King destroying Wasprus.

Repre did not take this news well at all. With his teeth gritted, he angrily smashed his wine glass against the Medical Machine's screen and spilled wine all over the robot, all while letting out a furious shriek. "ATOMSK AND SANCHEZ WERE HERE?!" he yelled. "AT THE SAME TIME?!"

"Confirmed." the Medical Machine replied. "Would you like to message the Lord Superior Officer about this?"

"Yes, tell him everything!" Repre answered hotly. "And make sure to forward this to the Galactic Federation and the Council of Ricks as well." He then turned back to the remains of Wasprus and gazed out the window of his cruiser with his mechanical hand against the window. "I will find you, Atomsk, and I will make you my property."

And so, the curtain rises on Haruko's origin story and the beginnings of her obsession with Atomsk. From here, you shall see her relationship with Rick go from the bond shared between Marty McFly and Doc Brown to deteriorating until they go full Revenge on the Sith with each other, with Haruko as Anakin Skywalker and Rick as Obi-Wan Kenobi with a dash of Emperor Palpatine since Rick is not a good role model for Haruko at all. Haruko is a dreamer who originally barely had anything and now wants everything. In contrast, our main villain for much of this story, Repre S. Entative, already has everything he could want as a high-ranking member of Medical Mechanica, but he desires more power than he already is satisfied with and won't let anything get in the way of his immature crusade, with the only thing keeping him in line being the Lord Superior Officer, his mysterious boss whom we shall see in person in the next chapter. Speaking of which, the next couple chapters between now and the finale shall focus on the individual members of the Flesh Curtains, much like how Alternative and Grunge focused on each of its main characters in every episode, as Haruko will soon get the lion's share of development in the next chapter, followed by Rick, Squanchy, and Birdperson in every succeeding chapter. Tune in next time!

#flcl #rick and morty #crossover #fanfiction #rick and haruko #haruko haruhara #rick sanchez #birdperson #squanchy #repre s. entative #atomsk

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andrewmoocow · 3 years ago

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New seasons of FLCL announced.

Me: Looking through pitches for more FLCL crossovers in my notes.

Don’t tempt me to go back to my FLCL phase. I’m swamped with other fanfictions already.

#flcl #flcl grunge #flcl shoegaze #fooly falls #fooly falls 2: ride on shooting star

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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Fooly Falls 2 chapter 4: Mechanica Melody (originally posted on April 19, 2019)

AN: We're getting close to the end everyone! Though unfortunately just like the previous three chapters, real life might get in the way of the story, but I still really hope I can get this out during spring break. Anyway, here comes Chapter 4 to really turn this summer on its head and send everything straight down to Hell from here on out. ZKHQ D OLWWOH JLUO QRUPDOOB GRZQKHDUWHG VXGGHQOB JHWV D FKHHUIXO DFW VWDUWHG, KHU IDPLOB DQG IULHQGV WUB WR VDYH WKH GDB EXW VRRQ HYHUBWKLQJ ZLOO ORVH WKHLU ZDB.

A suddenly more cheerful Gwen began skipping down the street to the shock of passerby's who were so used to seeing a frown on her face, which was now replaced with a big goofy smile. "If you ask us, I have a feeling it must be puberty kicking in early. It can do crazy thing with your emotions!" Juan theorized while he and Jorge were being interviewed, and his brother agreed with a nod. "When we came back from the island, I was kinda freaked out by how she was acting." Wendy explained worriedly. "Last time I saw her this perky was before she got that weirdo hat of hers. But hey, at least she looks positively adorable when she's happy!" "Whoa, it's a chopper! GET TO THE CHOPPAH!" Gwen peppily exclaimed spotting a helicopter hovering over her. "The whole world is turning upside down, I can just feel it!" "I'm so pissed off, I can't stand it!" Haruko snarled in frustration stomping her foot. "And it's all because of that shitty hat!" "It's an emergency measure installed by Medical Mechanica. The change in personality is most likely a side-effect." Jinyu remarked. "Or so Jinyu, Dipper and I have guessed. We cannot know for certain, unless we can head to the source." Ford added adjusting his glasses. "What do you think, does doing this with my glasses make me look cool?" "Oh, the iron!" Gwen chirped spying the abandoned Medical Mechanica plant towering over the town. "Also known as the WORLD SMOOTHER!" "I don't know which is more bizarre, this or the mutant raccoon that moved in with Ezra & Candy." Leia commented. "Last I heard from them, Ezra didn't want to show his face in public after Bawuu murdered a baby squirrel by chopping down a tree for literally no reason." With a loud cackle, the little girl kicked down the entrance to the Mystery Shack and loudly greeted her friends. "HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?!" she hollered. "HEEEEERE'S GWENNIE, HERE TO START THE DAY!" "As much as I like Gwen not being so down in the dumps all the time, I'm supposed to be the fun & cute twin!" Tyrone exclaimed. "That is not Gwen, I can feel it." Arnold added. "Starting today, we're all getting to the bottom of this and saving my daughter." Dipper declared. "No matter the cost." Gwen giggled in a somewhat creepy fashion while the bobble of her hat glowed dimly, to the unease of her friends while Arnold & Tyrone gazed out the window to spy on Medical Mechanica.

Later that day in the living room while a group of hippies chanted "Furi kuri, furi kura! Furi kuri, furi KURA!", Dipper begged Haruko to assist them. "Please Haruko, you have to help us here!" he shouted but the Vespa Woman had her head turned away. "Oh please, this was all Arnie's fault he didn't remove the headphones like I asked him to." she stated. "Well you're at fault as well for even touching her!" "Enough arguing you two!" Stan exclaimed beating them both with his cane. "We gotta find Gwen quick. I do not wanna know what untold madness will come from her being too happy." "Stanley is right, you're both wasting precious time that we don't have." Jinyu responded stepping into the sitting room with the rest of the crew in tow. "You know what you need to do, so do it." she declared boldly despite still wearing her maid uniform. "I think she might have a maid fetish." Ian whispered. "Medical Mechanica." the maid continued. "That is where we'll remove it." Haruko responded with a thumbs up while Dipper got excited at the thought of the madness finally ending. "And then we can chase him together." The thumbs up immediately became a thumbs down. "We don't have any more options. Although they've tried to kill us and destroy the town in the past, they're our last hope." Ford announced just as someone knocked on the door. "Can someone answer that please?" "Allow me. But if it's PETA again, I'll just say the town is outta animals for them to kill." Stan answered wheeling up the the door and answering it, discovering a man in a suit and glasses on the other side. "You must be Stanford's brother. May I come in?" "What are you, a cop?" Stanley rudely asked before attempting to slam the door on the man, but oddly enough he managed to sneak his foot through mid-shutting. "Ow." "Is that you Kanda? What brings you here?" Ford asked shoving his brother out of the way to reopen the door. "So you plan on going up against the Big M, eh?" Kanda asked stepping into the house. "Well, I think this might be a good time for me to shine." "Hark, is that you I hear Kanda?!" Haruko chirped randomly appearing between the Stan brothers. "Wait, you know each other?" Dipper exclaimed. "I suppose it's time to let the cat out of the bag." Ford sighed. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Tsukata Kanda. He's a new friend of mine that I've met in Little Asia a while back. He claims that he does have history with Haruko and-" "How badly did she emasculate you?" Dipper bluntly asked. "Maliciously." Kanda replied just as matter of factly pulling out his squirt gun. "Now as I was saying, help me help you Pines family." "Pretty sure you're saying that wrong." Mabel remarked. "Want some coffee?" she asked handing him a mug of joe. "I'd very much appreciate that Mrs. Pines." Kanda replied taking the mug before he accidentally dropped it, spilling the caffeine all over his foot. "My word, I am terribly sorry! Just a bit of a klutz, I'll help you clean up!" "No need right now sir, we've got a friend to save." Ian interrupted Tsukata. "Speaking of which, where did Gwen run off to anyway?"

"A theme park? Perhaps this could be a chance to see what it's like being a child my age." Imelda muttered gazing at a help wanted poster in her hands for a new amusement park. She was so absorbed in the poster that she didn't pay attention when she nearly bumped into Gwen drawing all over the window of an abandoned furniture store. "My word Gwen, what are you doing?!" "It's all done!" Gwen chirped in response marveling at her marker-on-glass masterpiece. Imelda contemplated the meaning of the bright colors and the bizarre imagery. "Quite impressive my friend." the second Ramirez daughter applauded her older friend. "In a single word, it's a song!" Gwen cheered twirling around. "What kind of song?" Imelda wondered. "Carmen, Beethoven, Mozart, Skrillex?" "That'sa right-o!" Gwen stated beaming. "In space, no one can hear you sing! But the stars spin and spin and they spin around and around and they sing together!" The Pines daughter ran off merrily leaving the seven-year-old to contemplate what she just said. "Song of the stars, eh? My word, the park!"

A man in a goofy vulture mascot costume watched as a helicopter lowered a new attraction for his park before him while two children ran on by. "Check it out, they're putting in a new ride!" the first youth said excitedly. "That's awesome!" the second added just as amazed. When the clock struck three, Aiko interrupted her date with a third boy to get her pay. "Time's up, now pay up." The boy complied handing Aiko an envelope that she fished through. "Nice doing business with you." she said handing the boy a statue of a bear with a fish in its mouth. "Did I just buy this?" the boy wondered as Aiko began to walk off. "Maybe. Til the next time you need my services." The helicopter pulled the tarp off its cargo unveiling a viking ship ride, to the two boys' disappointment. "It's just a viking ride." the first stated. "That's lame, let's go home." the second replied and the two walked away as Imelda ran up to the vulture. "Excuse me, are you the individual running this establishment?" "Why yes little one, my name's Tonkichi!" the proprietor of the park answered politely pulling off his costume head to meet Imelda's gaze. "I see you're here about the job opening? And at such a young age too!" "Yes. I'd like to learn about what it's like to be a child my age." Imelda responded. "Well you're just in time young lady, cause a new ride just came!" Tonkichi announced presenting to her the viking ride. "This is going to be our new main attraction!" Across town at Masurao's house, he was being confronted by Eyepatch while the remains of a certain Medical Machine was crucified behind them. "You can't find it?!" Eyepatch shouted. "Well stop acting like a child and keep looking around!" "Well I've already checked everywhere but I still can't find it!" Masurao fired back. "What the hell kinda moron would lose something as a flower pot?" Eyepatch muttered in thought. "Can't you just make another one?" his subordinate suggested. "It's a one of a kind thing made from this guy's parts." Eyepatch stated gesturing to Canti. "There's no way we can make another one, not with our technology!" "Oh man. By the way, have you seen a carved bear anywhere?" Masurao inquired. "You're such a-that's not important!" his superior growled impatiently. "What's important is the flower pot!" "I'm home homies." Aiko muttered walking into her home while her father was speaking with Eyepatch. "We're supposed to use it to monitor-" the other man began. "Yeah, I know! We're supposed to reverse the N.O current!" Aiko's dad interrupted him. His daughter got suspicious of her father's activity and listened in on the conversation. "If we hypothesize that N.O is a power that can pull objects from elsewhere, then-" "I see." Eyepatch observed. "Then it stands to reason we should reverse the direction!" Aiko immediately got suspicious and opened the door to the living room and within mere seconds, it looked completely normal. She groaned as she turned her gaze to find her dad pretending to receive boxing lessons. "What are you guys doing?" "Oh hey Aiko, welcome home!" Masurao nervously greeted his daughter while Eyepatch's jaw dropped at the sight of her. "Oh my, you're just the type! Look at those fists!" he exclaimed marveling at her hands. "You let that champion inside again?" Aiko snarked about the older man. "What do you say squirt?!" Eyepatch cried. "We could take over the world together, you'll be eating lightning and crapping thunder before you know it!" In response, Aiko just kneed him in the stomach. "She's a lot like the other one, packing a punch like a shooting star!" Eyepatch declared falling to the ground. "The neighbors keep whispering about why you're always inviting a homeless man inside!" Aiko scolded her father, who simply replied with a demure "I'm so sorry." "Your dad didn't do nuttin' wrong sweetheart! Your dad's..." Eyepatch defended before Aiko's glare made him drop his guard as well. "A champ." He then handed her a few tickets to the amusement park. "Here. Would you forgive us if I hand you these puppies?" "You're always trying to give me these comp tickets as a way to get on my good side." Aiko scoffed. "Just where the hell are you getting these anyway?" Her question made the two men stutter nervously. "I'd rather have a day pass to the Gravity Falls spa or some resort in Portland." she continued. "I know that amusement park has a new ride, but it's just a stupid viking ship." Her comment about the viking ship made the duo groan in shock. "It was installed?!" Masurao cried. "It was the viking ship? You sure?!" Eyepatch added just as horrified. "Yeah. So?" Aiko answered beginning to get confused at what they were on about. "Hey, they finally did it." the capped man muttered. "Yep, and we're all screwed." the fake champion added and they both started panting & sweating in fear. "What are you talking about?" Aiko wondered just about to close the door on them. "Oh hey Aiko, have you seen that carved bear?" Masurao asked but she was already gone.

Back with Imelda, she had taken her seat on the viking ride. "I really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to test this out." Tonkichi said gratefully. "Thank you very much Mr. Tonkichi. Riding on theme park rides are what children my age do, correct?" Imelda asked just as the old man plugged a wire into the helmet she was wearing. "That's right little lady, plus you get extra pay." Tonkichi replied. "What for?" "Oh, just a gift for the fam." Imelda continued.

Gwen continued merrily skipping about town with a big goofy grin on her face. "A dream, a dream!" she exclaimed. "What is the reason we dream? Is it because it is called a dream?" the girl contemplated. "There are dreams when we sleep, and dreams when we're awake! We dream whether we're sleeping or awake!" While Gwen frolicked about, Jinyu spied on her from her car with Haruko, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Ford, Kanda, Tyrone, Arnold, Ian, Leia, Juan, Jorge, Wendy & Soos alongside her. The fifteen of them silently nodded to one another. "Let's go." Jinyu commanded kickstarting the Bel-Air.

"Look here!" Jinyu stated earlier that day discussing their plan in the living room while the hippies continued harmonizing. "That hat will be quite hard to remove as it's too deep inside Gwen's head." "The reason why she's behaving in this fashion is because of the bizarre radiowaves her cap is receiving straight from Medical Mechanica." Ford added. "Bizarre radiowaves!" Haruko wearing a goofy hat that showed a checkmark & Dipper repeated in unison. "To get her back to normal, we'll have to eliminate both the receptor and transmission source." Tsukata explained further. "Our plan is to split up into groups of three, two to go inside, two staying out and one to find Gwen." "Raharu, Ian & Soos will destroy the outer antenna." Julia stated to the aforementioned trio. "You can count on us Jinyu, as long as it'll get Gwen back." Ian approved of the plan while Haruko let out a half-hearted "Aye aye." while her hat put up an X sign. "Wendy, Juan & Jorge will provide cover for us in case of any outside interference." Ford added. "As for you Arnold, you're assigned along with Tyrone & Leia to find and capture your cousin before we leave for Medical Mechanica." Arnold blushed at the thought of such an important task while Tyrone slapped a hand on his back. "Don't sweat it! This'll be a great chance for Arnold to grow as a man!" "And lastly, Dipper, Mabel & Stan shall accompany Julia, Kanda and I in infiltrating the factory." Ford finished much to Raharu's ire. "Hey, that should be my job!" she exclaimed. "There is no way we're leaving you with Gwen at all!" Dipper rebuked. "Now keep quiet, cause we got a job to do!"

Gwen continued on her merry way with a big laugh until she found a statue of Petra the Pterodactyl singing her famous song with a crudely made "free hugs" sign next to her. "I appreciate you, you appreciate me." a poor recording of a woman's voice sang. "Let's appreciate everybody." "I appreciate you too Petra!" Gwen squealed with childlike delight offering the Petra statue a hug. What she didn't know was that she was now glued to the statue and it was chained to Jinyu's Bel-Air. Tyrone appeared with a big stupid grin on his face as he held up a sign saying "Oldest trick in the book!" followed by another sign saying "What a maroon!" With a hearty meep-meep, he cued the car to pull the statue off its support and fly toward the plant. Imelda on the other hand remained at the carnival testing out the viking ride while Tonkichi watched, and she was not having a good time. "Here we go!" Tonkichi declared pressing a red button that made the boat turn upside down to her shock and displeasure. "I just realized that I've made a huge mistake!" the little girl hollered as the ride made her head grind against the machinery. "That little girl is a great sport."

At last the Bel-Air made it to the roof of the giant iron and the party immediately alighted from it to gaze at the giant handle. "Everyone know your positions?" Kanda asked the rest and they nodded their heads. "Time to go." Jinyu declared. "Yeah, but from where?" Haruko asked. "You tell me." Dipper answered. "Uhhhh..." The Pines and guitar players remained dead silent before they began to argue amongst themselves. "You two don't have a plan and you're bossing us around?!" Haruko shouted hotly. "We have to figure this out together whether you like it or not!" Jinyu replied just as angrily. "Now be useful!" "Shut up! I don't take orders from you!" Raharu snarled. "Girls girls, please. Why don't we try the easy way in and just bomb it all?" Stan offered a solution. "And risk Medical Mechanica hunting us down? That's way too risky!" Ford repealed the idea. "It may have dire consequences, but the easiest way is usually the most successful!" Mabel supported her greedy great-uncle. "That's not helping at all Mabel!" Dipper fired back. "We need to think of something using what we have!" "Good grief, sometimes I wonder why I bothered taking that call." Kanda muttered leaning against the car to light a cigarette. "We're getting nowhere at this rate." Arnold moaned in defeat. "Who knows, change can be a good thing. Maybe we can accept this new Gwen and move on like the old one never went away." Tyrone stated optimistically when he noticed something familiar behind his feet. "Hey, isn't that Aiko's flower?" "Oh, what a pretty treasure!" Gwen chirped in delight picking up the pot. "No, don't touch that! Aiko paid a very high price for it and she'd kill me if anything happened!" Juan exclaimed frantically. "Really high? REALLY HIGH!" Gwen responded tossing the pot into the air. When it landed on Arnold's head, a purple force began glowing on his forehead. "Why can't you just get it?!" Julia yelled with Haruhara's back to her. "It doesn't...it doesn't want you!" Her other half's words prompted a glare from Haruko before Dipper spoke up. "Take it from me. I've had a crush on Wendy when I was a kid and over that summer, I learned you just can't force someone to love y-what is going on?" he began to relate his own experiences with love just as Arnold's forehead began acting up and sucked him in. "OH MOTHER-" "What did you do?! Arnold!" Jinyu shouted as the portal proceeded to swallow her, Haruko and the rest of the Pines. "You're an idiot cause you do idiotic things!" Haruko added as her final words before she was consumed by the forehead as well. "Mommy!" Arnold screamed for his mother. "Dad, no!" Tyrone added just as shocked.

Elsewhere back with Masurao, he had Canti tied up in cardboard and tape. "We have to do this because it's evidence. But I do feel a bit bad." Eyepatch stated solemnly. "Yeah. Because of this guy here, we were able to make tons of progress on the research." Masurao agreed. "Or rather, with what's left of him that is." "So true." the older man sighed in mourning. "The owner of this shell isn't a living creature, at least not in our sense of the word. It's almost like a larger being stuck between creature and planet." the redhead observed. "The planet is quite big of course." Eyepatch responded with a scratch of his head. "And that's why its cycle lasts years at a time." Masurao continued before his monitors started beeping. Rushing over to them, he made a shocking discovery. "What is it?" Eyepatch asked. "It's the flower pot!" Masurao exclaimed. "You mean the one you lost?" Eyepatch snarked. "It's moving!" his subordinate realized. "And that thing only reacts to N.O!" "That means it must've opened." Eyepatch deduced. "Hopefully Tsu knows what's up." "They actually got a hold of the flower pot!" Masurao continued panicking. "And it's in reverse flow!"

Arnold stood perfectly in place with the pot in his hands while the others watched in shock over what has happened. "W-what just happened?" "They all went inside your head!" Gwen cackled merrily creeping her relatives out even more. "What happened to you sis?" Tyrone asked begging for the big sister he knew to come back. "I'm the only one between us who's supposed to be that hyper." "Only one? But I've always been like this." Tyrone's sister revealed merrily. "Always?" Tyrone answered in shock. "Then again, her aunt is Mabel Pines." Wendy snarked. "To be honest, for as long as I can remember." Gwen explained just as the car engine went off and soared to the top of the Medical Mechanica plant.

"Can you all just shut up? You're turning into a bunch of broken records at this point." Haruko complained while she, Jinyu and the Pines ascended a seemingly unending flight of stairs within the factory. "Why can't you understand?" Julia groaned in irritation. "That is not what he wants, all right?" "Ha! Funny how you think you know him so well!" Haruko scoffed ignoring her words. "I barely know a thing about the big guy myself, but like I said; you can't force someone to love you!" Dipper reiterated hauling Stan's wheelchair on his back. "Now can someone give me some help? Stan is remarkably heavy for someone so old." "Well I do care." Jinyu continued in the midst of Dipper's struggling. "If you say that again, I'm gonna kill you." Haruko threatened her. "Please you two, why not just live and let live like I said before?" Mabel tried to ease the tension between the pair of women. "Don't bother getting involved Mabel, Jinyu is objectively right because she's a morally better person." Stan cut her off. "He needs to have his freedom." Jinyu continued. "Anyone who tries to keep him tied down is my enemy. Medical Mechanica, and even you." "If I may throw my few cents into the ring, Jinyu is trying to say he just-" Ford tried to interject, but was cut off by Haruko slamming the wall. "Shut up! I'm sick of hearing you talking about him Jinyu, and I'm sick of you guys trying to take her side! When I want something, I get it!" she hissed. "I'll do what I need to make sure he sees me!" "We aren't taking sides here, you're just acting like a spoiled child just because you want bird dick!" Ford argued, immediately regretting what disgusting thing he just said. "He's right. And you're going to fail." Jinyu agreed and Raharu just hissed again. "I understand everything. I understand him. And them, and you too." "How dare you say that." Haruko eerily stated. "I will keep on saying it!" Julia declared. "You need to join me Raharu! You're me after all!" Haruko just gritted her teeth with an angry glare and turned away to adjust her goggles. "Fine." "Raharu. You finally get it!" Jinyu beamed. "Together, I know we can-" "I am gonna devour you."

The Bel-Air roared to the very top of the Medical Mechanica factory with its passengers bracing for impact. When it finally skidded to a stop, Arnold was lying down on the floor with the flower pot by his side. "Gwen? Gwen, where are you?!" he called for his cousin. "GWEEN!" As fast as he could get up, he found Gwen dancing along the edge of the handle with a calm smile on her face. "Gwen?" "Dudes, you do realize she's dancing on the brim of a very high place, right?" Soos pointed out awkwardly. "No way!" Wendy exclaimed while her daughter observed the town below. "Young lady, please get away from there this instant!" "I can see everything!" Gwen chirped excitedly gazing into the distance. "Where is the-da-discuh-my father?!" she exclaimed. "Dude, he's in his head! Did you not get the memo?!" Ian screamed dramatically pointing to Arnold's scalp. "I don't have a mother either." the girl added to everyone's shock. "G-G-Gwennie?" Wendy muttered cupping her mouth in shock. "She doesn't understand how I feel. But then again, no one does!" Gwen continued. "I'm just a complete enigma!" "I-is this her true thoughts?" Kanda observed in wonder. "If everything's destroyed, we can just start all over!" Gwen contemplated. "For one, Mommy will no longer have to worry about me, Daddy will come home, Tyrone will still be his same old self and Arnold will grow a pair! If today was an ordinary day like yesterday, that would've been oh so nice!" With a loud sigh, Gwen fell down forward and in a panic, her family rushed to rescue her. Arnold managed to cling onto her arm at the last moment before fate had other plans for him. His cousin continued giggling and performed a pirouette that switched their places, her back on solid ground & Arnold clinging onto dear life. "Someone, save me!" "No, I think you can do it manliness grasshopper!" Juan exclaimed. "Yeah! We know you can make it back by yourself! Just try as hard as you can, and if you fall that's too bad!" Jorge added, which finally made Arnold lose it. "SO WHAT, YOU'RE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT MY MANLINESS THAN MY OWN MORTALITY?! I AM LITERALLY ON THE VERGE OF DEATH HERE AND ALL YOU'RE DOING IS HAZING ME!" "Don't worry little dude, I got your back!" Ian shouted grabbing the boy's arm and pulling him back up. "There you go Arnie. Now how do you feel?" he asked Arnold. "Exhilarated and testy." Arnold replied tepidly. "And like I said, there's more to manliness than endangering the lives of others." "I don't need anything special. But the anger, the sadness, the misery, the hatred. I just don't want to think about it anymore." Gwen announced holding onto her hat with a cute smile. "And so, that's why this hat looks great!"

Inside the factory, Haruha & Julia clashed once more while the Pines struggled to find cover from their fighting. "We have to find a way out, now!" Dipper screamed lighting four cigarettes in his mouth. "Not until we discuss your recent smoking habit! Aren't you the least bit concerned about your health?!" Ford hollered back. "It helps me de-stress, get your priorities straight Ford!" the great-nephew screamed again. "Now what can we do now?!" "Stop it! Raharu!" Jinyu cried landing on the metal brain-like structure before Haruko rocketed forward with bass in hand. Ford attempted to cover for his guitar-playing friend with a few shots from the magnet gun labeled "Carry at all times! Can't be too careful" he kept in his coat, but it was too late. The Vespa Woman slammed her bat down and made the brain explode in bright colors.

Back outside, the rest of the crew were just about ready to leave without the Pines, the Vespa Woman or her other half when the ground started shaking and Gwen collapsed in pain. "Sis, no!" Tyrone cried while his older sister screamed & cried in agony while her beanie began its most violent vibration thus far. "That's not good!" Tsukata gasped before the siren went off. "That's not good at all!" Imelda remained on the viking ride screaming as it spun in high speeds. "What's going on?" Tonkichi wondered looking around the operating booth before noticing a siren going off. The helmet on Imelda's head then began to crack. "Please sweetheart, answer us!" Wendy cried for her child before she let out one last scream and the hat just popped off her head. The girl fell unconscious in her mother's warm embrace while the hat drifted to Leia's feet. "Jackpot, we got 'em off!" she cheered pulling out a lighter from her pocket. "Now let's burn this thing and close this story for good!" "I don't think we're done yet. Look!" Soos exclaimed pointing at Gwen who was now on the verge of tears. "Someone help me! I think I'm going to overflow!" she sobbed. "I'm going to overflow! I'm going to-" "What in God's name is she talking about?!" Wendy shouted at Kanda finally having enough of things. "It means she's going to release N.O energy! Brace yourselves!" the agent cautioned shielding himself from potential danger, commanding everybody else to do the same. "I'm going to overflow! I'm going to overflow!" Gwen repeated shakily and let out an even louder scream than before, causing a single blue arm to burst through her head along with Dipper, Mabel and the Stans finally escaping. "Woo, that's the second craziest headcase I've seen in my life." Stanley commented rubbing his butt. "Now what did we miss?" "The-the world is turning inside out!" Gwen sobbed once more seeing images of a gloved hand breaking free from the chains holding some creature. She was lifted up into the air before the arm grabbed her face, pulling its owner out to reveal herself as Jinyu with a firecracker in her mouth. Suddenly another red arm, no doubt belonging to Haruko, grabbed Jinyu's own face and tried to push her back down. As the conflict continued, more visions appeared of Jinyu bursting from Haruko followed by scarlet wings emerging from her head. With that, the two broke free and clashed leaving Gwen to fall from the sky. "What is even happening right now?" Tyrone asked his younger great great-uncle. "This has to be N.O!" Ford analyzed. "When we managed to get inside the factory through the channel in your sister's forehead, Jinyu made some choice words that got Raharu mad and she smacked this giant brain thing that led to us breaking out!" "Well what're you waitin' for Sixer? Shoot her down!" Stan commanded his brother snatching the magnet gun and handing it to him. Behind their backs, Gwen landed back in the Bel-Air. Masurao and Eyepatch rushed outside to see what was up. "I can't believe it! Could it be the Pirate-" Eyepatch began before he was cut off once more. "It can't be, but that power definitely is!" Masurao answered frantically. "Oh my, it's begun!" Tonkichi declared peeping out the window. Imelda just kept on screaming and reminisced on running into Gwen while she was drawing on the window. "JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!" she belted out a complete non-sequitur while a bamboo shoot spawned from her head and she was sent flying off the ride toward the factory. "What do we do now?!" Tyrone asked not knowing how they will survive this. "Why the smartest thing to do in a situation like this," Stan answered before his wheelchair turned and skidded away. "NIGURENDAYO!" Stan however was stopped in his tracks when he found Gwen in Jinyu's car about to drive over the edge of the giant iron as it was tilted backward by the bamboo shoot erupting from Imelda's forehead. The bulbs on her head burst and set free a small robot that raced up the stalk. "What is going on down there?!" Dipper cried before spotting his daughter in the car about to fall off the iron and panicked. Haruko let out a mighty scream as guitars clashed. "Cut it out Raharu!" Jinyu yelled trying to talk some sense into her other half. "Shut up! And your sunglasses are lame!" Haruko howled knocking the other woman back and chasing after her. The little bamboo shoot robot spotted the Vespa Woman and stuck out its little eyeball to put up a shield. When the girl tried to attack, the shield instead gave her a shock that blew her away. "How dare you?!" "GWEEEEEN!" the other Pines screamed together chasing after the Bel-Air while it rolled down the roof of the iron. They began to form a human chain that would try and stop the car from running away but unfortunately, they crashed into a support beam while the vehicle careened off the edge and towards the ground. "Gwen, no!" Dipper cried racing off the edge even though his face was badly injured. As for the little machine, it began firing at the two guitar players while they were still fighting. "Give up Raharu!" Jinyu screamed while Ford once again attempted to fire his magnet gun at Haruko. Dipper continued to dive after his daughter when she finally came to and spotted him. "Papa, no!" Gwen quickly took her dad's hand and dragged him into the backseat with her. "I am so glad you're okay pumpkin, now we gotta save the others!" Dipper shouted preparing to take the wheel until he realized they were already mere moments from crashing. Suddenly Jinyu came soaring in and picked the vehicle up before fetching the rest from the Medical Mechanica factory. "Thank you Jinyu! You're a real lifesaver!" Stan exclaimed spotting the Jazzmaster woman lifting her sedan in the air by just a hand. "You'd better not let your guard down!" Haruko exclaimed charging even faster at Jinyu, managing to dodge the little machine firing at her along the way, and attacked in a way that made the Bel-Air fall from her grasp. "Stop it, Raharu!" "No way Lame Glasses!" Raharu hissed beating Jinyu down to the ground. "Are you okay?!" Ford exclaimed in worry before Stanley grabbed the magnet gun. "Okay, that's it!" he shouted. "Everybody but me has gotten a chance to maim her this entire story, and I'm not about to waste my chance giving her the karma she deserves!" "Stanley you idiot, give that back!" Stanford shouted trying to wrestle his makeshift weapon out of the con-artist's hands. "I NEED MY GODDAMN NICOTINE!" Dipper shrieked about to light up another one in the heat of the moment when Haruko finally grabbed the convertible and tossed it toward the little robot, ultimately destroying it and making the bamboo crumble. Smoke began billowing from the tilting factory as Jinyu returned in the nick of time to save the two families from certain doom. "I know it's great that she saved us, but what about the factory?" Ian wondered pointing back to the falling iron. "It's tipping over!" Kanda exclaimed just as Haruko returned with a vengeance and with one fell swoop, it was all over. The iron now sat perfectly on its back following an explosion. The firecracker in Jinyu's mouth fell out. And there was a large hole in her chest where she was struck. "The plant..." Eyepatch gasped. "Stood up?!" Masurao added in shock. When the Bel-Air crashed and the Pines fell out, Haruko stood atop the wreckage of the robot with Jinyu in a chokehold while her white guitar was planted in the ground. "Jinyu. No." Ford muttered in utter speechlessness. "R-Raharu..." Jinyu croaked defeatedly. "I just wanted for him to have his freedom. I love him. That's why. I want him to be free from us." "You don't get it, no." Haruko remarked coldly. "Everything has always belonged to him, right from the very beginning. His shackles and his freedom. There isn't anything in this world that doesn't belong to him. Nothing." she monologued before pulling down her goggles with a smile. "That settles it. So we're not the same after all." "I guess so." Jinyu responded hoarsely in a dignified matter. "Perhaps, you're right." "Come with me Jinyu." Haruko serenely offered her. "We can finally be together." With that, Haruko morphed into a wasplike creature, fitting her moniker as the Vespa Woman, and swallowed Jinyu whole with only her glasses left behind while everybody watched in sheer terror. When the biker morphed into her now pink-haired humanoid self, she snatched the glasses from the air and put them on with a smirk followed by an evil chuckle. When Gwen looked down on the ground to find her hat partially buried in the dirt before the woman touched down on the crashed Bel-Air. "Now, why don't you come with me as well Gwen?" Haruko offered the younger girl. Imelda burst from the wreckage to spot her siblings, father and friends facing Haruko with Jinyu nowhere in sight. "Uh, what did I miss?" "I get it. I finally understand now." Gwen announced. "I know what you want to do. And that's why," she bravely put her beanie back on. "I can't go with you!" Haruko just gazed down at the Pines girl before Stan came to her defense with ten guns attached to his wheelchair. "She's right Raharu. Either leave my family & my planet alone or else I'll make sure that when you die, you'll be all alone with no one at your funeral except me, pointing and laughing." All was silent once more and nothing would be the same ever again.

At long last, chapter 4 is completed and boy this was a big one! Not just in terms of how long it took, but in how much this changes everything. About Haruko's relationship with the Pines, about Gwen, Tyrone & Arnold's arcs and the wider universe. Join us next time for the penultimate chapter of this saga and if you'll excuse me, I've got another Gravity Falls crossover I've been sitting on for too long.

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 5: Ex-Partners in Crime (originally posted on May 30, 2019)

AN: And now the end is near. And so we face, the final curtain. My fans, I'll say it clear. I'll finish this tale, of course I am certain. I've wrote this sequel, I improved the source with my own flair. But after all of this, the climax is getting there. WKUHH ERBV, ZLWK GLVFRUG XQZDQWHG WZR ROG IULHQGV, ZLWK SDVWV IRUHYHU KDXQWHG RQH PDQ, DQ DQVZHU PDGH KLP GDXQWHG GHVWLQB OHIW WR EH DQVZHUHG, DQG WKHB'UH JRQQD EH HAKDXVWHG

In the style of an old black and white film, an assembly of giant irons stood perfectly single file before the setting sun. Gwen quietly watched before turning away and picked a bottle up off the ground. She then discovered a dejected worker sitting in front of a campfire with his hardhat the only splash of color. Gwen examined the sight before her when she also discovered the outline of a skeleton beneath her feet, where she placed the bottle in the center of its chest. Just then the girl dropped to her side in pain, discovering a small disk stuck in her foot that she gave to the skeleton to serve as an eye. As a nearby engine roared, steam from a structure decorated with irons covered the monochrome land like a sandstorm, sweeping her up along the way. When Gwen opened her eyes, she laid in a colorful body of water with her beanie in hand. Then the world suddenly turned greyscale as she excitedly ran along the shoreline while the Medical Mechanica factory continued to stand upright.

-- Ian whistled a familiar tune while tuning up a large computer monitor nestled within Ford's study. "Ride on shooting star. Yabba dabba doo, somethi-ing." he quietly sang while making a few final touches and dismounted from his maintenance creeper. "Okay, main screen turn on?" "Yeah, main screen turn on." Dipper answered turning to a certain someone tied up and fast asleep in a chair. "Rise and shine old friend." he announced placing a freshly cooked chicken leg under Haruko's nose, and the delicious scent wafting into it finally woke her up. "W-what happened?" she asked slowly beginning to wake up. "Last thing I remember was working on something before there was this napkin that covered me and-hey!" "There's no escaping this Raharu. You will give us the answers on your past that we've been searching for!" Ford declared dramatically stepping out of the shadows. "And perhaps some clues on what you're planning this time. Kanda?" "Will do." Tsukata replied hooking the Vespa Woman up to the machine with a helmet resembling a strainer and the monitor finally activated. "This was originally built to defend minds from the dream demon known as Bill Cipher, but now it's been rebuilt to simply read them and view the memories within." "This could be it everyone, our biggest breakthrough!" Dipper cackled joyously as it began booting up. "You okay there Dipper? You've slowly grown more unhinged." Ian asked nervously placing a hand on the older man's shoulder before he was slapped away. "I'm not going unhinged, I'm just excited to finally see through her lies once and for all!" Dipper continued lighting up a fifth cigarette. "So much so that I've literally cut my smokes in half!" "Yeah, he's officially snapped." Kanda commented taking a puff of his own cigarette and sitting down next to Haruko. "Oy, a bunch of losers the lot of you." Haruhara japed with a grin. "You've all become conspiracy theorists who'd resort to kidnapping an expecting mother just to prove a point. And since when did you take up smoking?" "Since I failed to quit." the agent muttered. "And I've been doing it to help me calm down." Dipper added taking a break from his mini-celebration. "Augh, my back." Haruko groaned struggling to reach for her back. "Must be the ropes getting a bit too tight, or you're just getting old." Kanda commented. "Naw, can't really age." the woman responded. "I've been 19 for what feels like ages now." "How many years exactly?" Ford asked writing in a new journal. "Hell if I know, probably ever since I met you-know-who." Haruko answered. "The summer I turned seventeen, was when I took up smoking for the first time." Kanda explained. "Sort of the same with me, only I took up smoking to deal with becoming a father." Dipper replied just as Project Mentem started acting up. "Oh my God, it's finally time!" "Can't believe it took one conversation for it to get started." Ian remarked pounding at the machine. "Well, let's get cracking." After a few moments of static, a full image revealed itself as a slightly younger looking Haruko dressed in drab work-clothes with a familiar iron in the background. "Wait a minute, is that-" Dipper exclaimed while his eyes widened. "Yep. Haruha Raharu, ex-factory worker." Raharu groaned in resignation over her past. "And it was back when Medical Mechanica had control over my planet too." As the younger Vespa Woman continued trudging about her day, Ford lost interest. "Let's just skip to the interesting stuff." the scientist declared fast-fowarding through the memory until it stopped at Haruha rocking out on some equipment as a makeshift drumkit. "Now that's the little devil we know!" "Hey, keep it down in there Haruha!" a strict, snarly voice cried out to her barging into the room. He was a tall, robust figure with a thick mustache, very long nose and a comically large cigar in his mouth. "Ah, good ol' Heinzenberg. A real J. Jonah he was, really miss when he would scream like crazy at everyone." Haruko reminisced on her former boss. "Either stop those abominable sounds or I'll do it for you!" Heinzenberg screamed pulling out a laser blaster and firing, but his rebellious employee swiftly escaped. "Try and catch me brushface!" "Wow, seems like everyone hated your guts." Dipper remarked as the fight between Haruha & Heinzenberg tore the workplace apart, to the ire of everybody else. When the dust settled, the area was in shambles and Heinzenberg was completely furious. "HAAAAAAA-RUUUUUUU-HAAAAAARAAAAA! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU'REEEEEEE FIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEDDDDD!" "Was he really that loud?" Ford asked as the Haruha on the screen was dragged away by security robots. "Yep, to the point where one had to add extra letters to whatever he was screaming." Haruko cackled before her smirk turned into a frown as Kanda fast-fowarded to the biker's home life, where she was being harshly scolded by a man presumed to be her father. "Do you realize what you've done Haruha?!" "Abusive parent, correct?" Ian interviewed their captive. "Oh you better believe it. The old man was a completely irredeemable piece of shit who loved drinking more than his own family." Raharu declared morosely, turning away from that ugly part of her past. "And as for my mom, pretty sure she got killed by him in a drunken rage. But who knows, I barely knew her." "Your slacking off and playing that infernal music nearly got us all in trouble!" Mr. Raharu drunkenly shouted after smacking his daughter across the face. "Either behave like every other girl on this godforsaken planet or never show your face around me again!" Just then, the cruddy former apartment home of Haruha started rumbling and a loud voice bellowed "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT!" The ceiling began falling to pieces little by little, all capped off with a steel girder losing its support and falling right over Haruko's father. "WHAT THE FU-" was all he could scream before the girder reduced him to a puddle of red. "The Cromulons!" Ford exclaimed fast-fowarding to Haruko on stage before the giant planet-sized heads gazing down on her. "PLANET WASPRUS, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the Cromulon boomed. "So what, do they go around screaming at planets?" Kanda asked. "And what do they want to be shown?" "The Cromulons are a race of giant floating heads who force the inhabitants of planets to perform in their own musical contest show." Haruko answered. "My planet frowned upon any form of creativity, but I just loved sticking it to the man." "Aw shitballs you guys, we gotta run!" the belches of a middle aged man sounded as he and his two companions, a stonefaced bird person and a catlike creature, ran for the hills to a hijacked cargo ship. "Hey, the old gang!" Haruko chirped excitedly. "Wait, the what?" Ian asked staring at the screen. "Those my boy, were the Flesh Curtains." Ford stated putting a hand on the eldest Ramirez's shoulder. "A band consisting of Rick Sanchez, an old frenemy of mine; and his two weird comrades Birdperson and Squanchy." "And it's not just them. Look." Birdperson announced pointing upward to a giant red phoenix that warped itself over Wasprus. "IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST DISQUALIFIER!" the Cromulon boomed. "LEGENDARY PIRATE KING ATOMSK, SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!" While Rick and his posse urged the younger Haruko to not give in, she was utterly mesmerized by Atomsk's might as she slowly stepped towards him. "Don't do it babe, that's Atomsk! His power will seriously screw with your head!" Rick warned, but Haruha didn't listen and reached out to the giant bird while her hair turned into its trademark pink. A large chain wrapped around the Pirate King's neck attached to the girl's wrist and she pulled it with all her might, eventually breaking it in two. Just as Atomsk screeched, Raharu was dragged away by Birdperson and raced to the cargo ship, escaping the doomed Wasprus in the nick of time when it completely exploded. "Welp, there goes that gig." Rick groaned in defeat taking a chug out of a flask. "How's our extra cargo doing?" "Still out squanch from Atomsk." the cat-person stated checking for a pulse just as their passenger came to. "Oh geez, what happened?" Haruha moaned rubbing her head when she took notice of the old man, the bird and the cat surrounding her. "Where am I, and who are all of you?!" "Well I can assure you miss, I am not a man in a suit that will teach you the alphabet." Birdperson answered. "You may call me Birdperson. These two are my bandmates Squanchy and Rick." "Okay, we played the name game. But where's my planet?!" Raharu shouted grabbing the two animal-like creatures by their collarbones. "Well funny story babe, might wanna squanch around and see what happened." Squanchy suggested trying to break free and the future Vespa Woman took his suggestion, gazing out the back window to find what was left of her home planet. "My home's all gone." Haruha muttered shedding a few tears, but those tears were soon replaced with a celebratory manic grin. "I'M FREE!" "Whoa now, aren't you the least bit torn up about everyone you ever loved there now pretty much dead?" Squanchy stated. "I don't care, cause no one felt that about me either!" the Flesh Curtains' passenger whooped. "No more shitty dad, no more boring job, and no more stifling of creativity!" "Hell yeah, now you're speaking my language!" Rick replied merrily. "Hey, didn't get your name lass. What do they call you?" he asked putting a microphone to the girl's mouth. "I'm Haruha Raharu." she introduced herself. "Hm, doesn't roll off the tongue as much." the drunken traveler commented. "You ever tried picking up a name like the ones in the comics like Peter Parker, Reed Richards, Billy Batson or Fred Flintstone?" "I don't believe that last one came from a comic." Birdperson tried to correct his bandmate until he was shushed. "I got a great one! How about Haruko Haruhara?" Sanchez announced pretending to knight the girl with what would become her famous Rickenbacker bass. "I like it, really does sound like those old comics!" the newly renamed Vespa Woman exclaimed. "So where to?" "Wherever the hell we want to!" Squanchy answered pointing onward before the fond memory paused itself. "Ah, the old gang. We were kinda like the Fab Four back then. Rick was Paul, Birdperson was Lennon, Squanchy was Ringo and yours truly was George." Haruko thought back to happier times with a smile. "The four of us were unstoppable! Traveling the multiverse, playing gigs, sticking it to the man, making crossovers and just having fun regardless!" Haruko managed to sneak her foot out of one of her boots to fiddle with Project Mentem and fast-forwarded through many events during her travels with Rick. In particular were running from an angry mob of robots resembling ones & zeros in a city within a computer, holding a concert for tons of excited colorful fans with gemstones on their bodies, playing with a golden snail that had a phone attached to its shell which led to an entire island being destroyed, defacing a money bin and all other sorts of mischief. "But then everything went horribly wrong when we planned what I call 'The Mechanica Mission'." she stated sadly stopping at the four nomads looking over current plans. "-ere's what we're gonna do. Haruko will infiltrate the Brotherhood and rise through their ranks so she can allow us to find Atomsk." Rick explained. "Afterwards, Squanchy will break into the Medical Mechanica factory where our contact has stated he's being held in while Birdperson & I form a distraction." "So even being a first-class space patrol officer was part of your scheme as well?!" Ford exclaimed. "To be honest, I don't know what I expected." "Don't wanna delve too much into it but in a nutshell, everything went to shit." Haruko regaled forwarding faster to a standoff between her and Rick in front of a Medical Mechanica factory with armies of insectoid aliens & Medical Machines on either side, their bandmates hovering nearby on another hijacked ship and Atomsk appearing out of a giant wormhole. "So all this time, we were just being used so that you can have sex with Atomsk?!" Rick screamed as he felt betrayed by his partner. "Pretty sure his pecker is way too big to fit in your hive! And I'm really going to regret those puns!" "But wasn't there ever a time in your life where you sought after ultimate power?!" the Vespa Woman responded sadistically. "Bitch, I've been possessed by those types before! But did I use those to turn on those I legitimately care for!" the alcoholic nihilist shouted preparing to attack with his guitar. "It's no use Rick, get back here before the portal reaches maximum instability!" Birdperson cautioned his bandmate. "I'll be back in a bit you guys, gotta settle the score first." Sanchez snarled mounting what would become Haruko's Vespa scooter and charging at her with battle cry and bass. Raharu would do the same and then, the video faded to snow leaving the four men utterly flabbergasted. "So it all makes sense now." Kanda declared shutting it off. "Or at least, as much sense as a person like Haruko can make it." "Other dimensions? Wait til the others hear about this!" Ian added excitedly. "Maybe I could pitch this to whatever big Hollywood director hasn't had their reputation ruined." "At least we finally got our answers Dipper." Ford said to his greatnephew, but he received no answer. "Dipper?" Dipper on the other hand stared emptily at the blank screen contemplating over everything they just watched. Her home planet, that crazy man, the multiverse, Medical Mechanica, Atomsk. In the time he knew Haruko, her past was a total enigma with the exception of how she was a space cop gone rogue, but even that was all a sham. He began lightly snickering while clutching his head. "Ha." he flatly laughed. "Ha ha ha. Ffnk, ahoo. Ahoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo." Dipper's sanity began tumbling down even faster before his chuckling turned into full-blown insane cackling. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Dipper, stop laughing and answer me!" Stanford demanded his now completely insane apprentice. "IT WAS ALL A LIE! IT WAS ALL A LIE!" Dipper screamed merrily continuing his mad chortling and smashing the screen. "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!" "Uh, has anyone seen Haruko?" Ian asked pointing out the empty stool spinning in a circle. "It seems Dipper's little episode here has given her an opportunity to flee." Ford observed on the verge of coming to a shocking conclusion. "But where could she be off t-Oh no." Just as fast as he made his realization, Ford bolted out of his study and went up the elevator to follow the lying motorist. "Where's he off to?" Kanda asked Ian. "Stan is holding a little wake for Jinyu," the eldest Ramirez son answered. "And I don't want to know what Haruko will be up to."

A small drum accompanied a confused rabbi singing for Julia Jinyu in front of the equally unaware attendees who are staring at Stanley and wondering among themselves why they're attending a funeral for someone who was basically unknown to them. "We have no idea who the deceased is, but I can promise she will rest in peace. May He take good care of this woman, and continue to watch over us all." the rabbi chanted before clearing his throat, switching his Jewish dialect for a growling Midwestern accent. "All right Pines, pay up!" he shouted holding out his hand and expecting cash. "Haven't got all day, have a wedding in Alabama to preside over." "Who's the lucky underage victim and their offender?" Stan asked fishing a wad of thousands out of his wheelchair. "Don't want to get anyone here mad, but it's a juicy one!" the rabbi replied with a smug grin. After snatching his bills from the old man's hand, he wordlessly allowed the audience to give their condolences before leaving. First came Senator Gideon Gleeful. Although he and Stanley made amends, there was still a friendly contempt between the two. "So how's that conspiracy against President Kitaki going?" the con-artist asked his old enemy. "Moving along quite nicely Pines. Already got the Fundshausers on my side." Gideon replied turning to Grenda & Marius with a wink and a grin. "Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm probably going to being voting for you." Stan admitted. "The less we need of that old hag trying to ban the possibility of intergalactic travel, the better!" Next came Masurao. "Hey I know you! You're that guy from Little Asia!" the great-uncle exclaimed. "I am sorry for your loss sir, but I'm on borrowed time." Masurao apologized before scurrying outside. "What's his deal?" "So the damn thing stood up? And it's also getting foggy." Masurao stated spying on the upright iron from below with Eyepatch. "It'll go away when the sun reaches its peak." Eyepatch responded. "Did we really need to make a pitstop at the Shack on our way there?" "Even if it doesn't have a fraction of the power it once had." his partner remarked gazing upon Canti's head while Aiko spied on the two men without their knowledge. "Don't worry, just forget about it." Eyepatch assured him before they departed in a pickup truck carrying the Medical Machine's remains while the funeral continued on as normal. Eventually the two made it to an orbit elevator area in Portland where a doglike man waited for them. "Hey champ, you training hard for tomorrow?!" Eyepatch greeted the worker with a fistbump. "Oh you know, just trying to save my money." the other man replied. "Feel free to just head on in, warehouse should be up ahead." "Good on the money sport. It's important to make plans for the future y'know." Eyepatch complimented, which warranted a grumble from Masurao. When the worker tried to pick up Canti's head, it suddenly turned on for a split second. "Hey, watch how you're handling that thing Mutt!" Masurao ordered. "It's like, vintage!" "Yeah, this is pretty heavy. My bad." Mutt quickly apologized. "That thing's a piece of junk anyways champ. Hakuna matata as they always say!" Eyepatch casually stated which earned him an earful from his younger companion. "Are you insane?! Do you have any idea how much that-" "I totes got it sir." Mutt assured them. "You know, I had a hard time throwing away my first cellphone! Sentimental value is sometimes worth the most." "You don't understand at all!" Masurao continued shouting before the other two men laughed. -- Back at Jinyu's funeral in Gravity Falls, Arnold grimly faced the wall while Juan & Jorge tried to apologize. "Please, you gotta forgive us Arnie!" the twins cried bowing to the floor in shame. "We'll do anything to make it up to you! Would you like to come with us to that new amusement park opening up?" "I'd rather go with someone who won't deliberately leave me to die just because of their manliness obsession." Arnold glowered not ever taking his eyes off the wall. "But if we bring girls with us, we'll get a hefty discount! Like 99% I heard! Aiko asked me to come with her!" Juan tried appealing to their sullen friend, but he still received no answer even as Gwen entered the room. "Fine, be a jerkass for pretty much barely any rhyme or reason for all we care!" Suddenly, Haruko abruptly barged into the living room riding on her scooter and wearing Jinyu's shades, interrupting the funeral and enraging Stan. She slammed her hands on the coffin to speak to the audience. "So listen up everybody, cause I have an important announcement to make! Kay?" Haruko declared. "I am, um, gonna get married!" she announced switching into a wedding dress to everyone's bewildered cheering. "And everyone is invited! Yes I mean everyone!" "I congratulate you on your marriage madame, but this is a place of mourning. Please save your speech til after the wake." one of Gideon's bodyguards with long hair stated. "Do we have visual on crazy pregnant biker that just interrupted a funeral?" "Noted. Prepare for detainment." his black jerry-curled partner replied swapping the burger he was eating for a cattle prod. "Oh wait wait wait, you can't inflict violence on an expecting mother & housewife like that!" Haruko exclaimed turning into a homemaker with a creepy baby doll on her back. "Now let me tell you all the tale of how my husband and I, fell. In. Love." "So my hubby and I met at an amusement park in Portland, and I was there during sunset." the so-called mother narrated through children's crayon drawings. "Clumsy ol' me was about to get hit by a roller coaster when HE swept in to save me like I was a damsel in distress! It was MY HUBBY!" The final drawing depicted Haruko kissing a humanoid red bird which struck a chord in Gwen, as if she had seen him before. "So remember everyone, amusement parks are a paradise!" the Vespa Woman preached. "Forget this sobstory, let's go have so-" "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-RUUUUUUUUU-KOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stan screamed as loud as his nearly eight decade old lungs could cut his former friend off. "Oh hey, didn't see you there Stanley! Thought this was your funeral." Haruko remarked finally realizing who the funeral was for. "Oh, for Jinyu? You guys barely even chatted!" "Don't play coy with me Haruko! You know I'm being serious since I'm not calling you Raharu!" Stan screamed while Soos & Mabel tried to hold him back. "This will be the chapter where I'll get payback for what you've done to my family all those years ago!" "Okay I just started caring, what?" a plaid-shirted man with some grey in his brown hair & goatee asked. "The rest of you get on outta here! This is between me and her!" Stan commanded and the funeral attendees ran outside just as the coffin was opened by Sammy Determined, a tanned, geeky young man with large glasses and a beauty mark on his chin. "I've been stuck in this coffin pretending to be a dead body for like half an hour. Can I go home now?" "You're excused Sam." Stan politely accepted and Sammy raced out the door within half the blink of an eye. "Anyway, I challenge you to a little standoff sweetheart! You and me, Gravity Falls pool, be there or be half of a square!" The grunkle was just about to leave when he made a mechanical arm appear to grab Arnold. "And you're coming with me Arnold, since you're just as much of a victim here." "Help me." Arnold whimpered as he was taken outside just as Ford and Tsukata burst into the living room. "Oh lord, I'm too late!" he shouted racing around the area for any sign of his brother. "I knew this would happen, I just knew." he groaned pinching the bridge of his nose when Gwen spoke up. "What would happen Greatkle Ford?" "I just knew Raharu would purposefully cut off this funeral to get Stanley's goat." Stanford answered. "Though I'm pretty sure she's lying about being pregnant." "Hey, have you seen Dipper anywhere? Haven't seen him since you kidnapped Haruko." Mabel asked for her brother while the Vespa Woman flipped him off behind her. "We just did some digging through her mind and what we found just...broke him." Kanda answered mournfully. "Who do you think is still available right now?" "Mom and Tyrone are. They're having a mother-son day in watching bad movies." Gwen answered. "Well what are you waiting for dudette? Call 'em!" Soos urged the girl. "Hey Gwennie, wouldn't you rather go to the amusement park instead? You're the one that I wanted to go." Haruko tried to make her change her mind. "I'm not going miss." Gwen quietly said picking up her phone. "GWEN-NIE!" -- "Ha ha ha ha, now I look like an even bigger idiot!" Tyrone & Wendy monotonously cackled in unison in response to the horrible costume worn by the leading man of "Invasion of The Bear-Eating Man Family" while Tyrone knitted a new sweater for Stan. "Wow, Joel Nelson clearly had no idea what made good costuming!" he laughed. "Still slightly better than the outfit he made Michelle Hodgson wear." Wendy replied. "Or lack thereof." Just then, the phone rang. "I got it!" Tyrone shouted racing to the phone, but his mother was also focused on answering which resulted in a play-fight that her son quickly won. "Pines cabin, Tyrone speaking!" Tyrone said. "Ty, thank goodness I can reach you." Gwen sighed in relief. "Listen, has Dad come home recently?" "He's holed himself up in our room a couple minutes ago after getting a can of Willy-Nilly's Coffee beans and a knife." Wendy answered. "I'm getting really worried for him. Tyrone honey, can you go up to check on your father?" "Will do Mommy!" Tyrone accepted with a salute and merrily made his way upstairs, but his cheerfulness quickly turned into dread the further he got. When he opened the door to his parents' room, there Dipper was emptily gazing at an old Petra the Pterodactyl video while munching on raw coffee beans and squeezing a Petra plush and his son's beloved stuffed pig Waddles II in his arms. "I'm asking you for a survey Nilly, do you like Willy-Nilly's Coffee?" Dipper asked through Petra to Waddles II. "No, no I don't." Waddles II replied before Petra suddenly held a knife in its tiny three-fingered hand. "Well survey says everyone does. Because anyone who doesn't gets shanked." Petra revealed about to stab the pig before Tyrone performed a diving save on his pig. "NOOOO!" "T-T-Tyrone? What are you doing?!" Dipper shouted even more neurotically than usual. "No, I wanna know what are you doing! You tried to stab Waddles daddy!" Tyrone cried hugging his father worriedly. "I'm so sorry sport, I've just been going through some things lately." the older male responded hugging him back. "Just some...revelations making me go cuckoo for cocoa." "Like what?" his son asked. "Well for example, Raharu actually came from another dimension where she met this scientist who behaved an awful lot like Stan." Mason explained. "They went on adventures across the multiverse together, playing music and causing borderline madness. Eventually they formed a plan to steal the Pirate King Atomsk from Medical Mechanica but that went south and then everything after that was just white noise." "Wow, that sounds even cooler than what you did with her Dad!" Tyrone exclaimed in awe. "Cool, kinda. Healthy, no way in Hell." Dipper concluded putting a hand on his youngest's shoulder. "We gotta find and stop her at once. Where's your sister and cousin?" "Arnold got taken by Greatkle Stan to participate in his little feud with Haruko and I'm not sure what's up with Gwen, but I really hope everything will turn out okay!" Arnold declared with optimism, blissfully unaware of the oncoming chaos while a faint knock on the door was heard. -- "I won't let you involve my family in your schemes anymore!" Stan shouted to Haruko from the other side of the empty swimming pool. "And I don't want to be involved here!" Arnold cried begging to be let go. "Please Stan, Pacifica will kick your ass hard when she hears about this!" "Oh? You think I'm the bad guy for getting your family all tangled up in my schemes, pyon?" Haruko playfully mocked standing on the other side with her red jacket over a blue one-piece. "For a wannabe white knight, you sure are quite the hypocrite." "Arnie, bass." Stanley commanded his great-great nephew as he pushed a button on the armrest of his wheelchair that transformed it into a miniature exoskeleton to help him walk properly. "Wait, since when could you do that?!" Arnold exclaimed in shock while unveiling a certain Jazzmaster for his great-great uncle to use. "There are tons of things about my wheels that you never knew about, and some you'll never know about." Stan stated taking the guitar and slinging it over his shoulder with both hands. "Well what're you waiting for? Come at me!" "Okay. Let's do this." Haruko chummily declared just as her former friend angrily charged, but she quickly blocked the bass with just her feet. "I know you're super old, but you really got no talent nya." she groaned in disappointment. The wasp continued blocking all of Stan's attempts to land a hit and when it seemed like he was finally about to score one, instead came being kicked into the pool shed. "You learned how to fight with your back, right? Cause it seems like time has made you forget!" Stan was just about ready to surrender until he spotted Arnold nervously sitting on a deck chair and got an idea. "Tag me out kid! Tag me out!" he called for the boy while reaching out his hand. "Wait, you're serious? You want me to fight her?" Arnold said curiously. "Well, this could be a chance for me to be manly without a certain duo threatening my life." The pair high-fived and Arnold picked up the Jazzmaster to use. "I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss!" he quietly chanted to himself while charging forward and preparing a mighty swing, but Haruko then swiftly dodged it. "Whatever you wanna do blondie, you gotta do it with strength!" she announced sticking a perfect landing. Arnold however remained resolute and began muttering "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!" "This is where Stan wanted to fight Raharu!" Ford explained to Gwen & Tyrone while the three arrived at the pool but instead of seeing the other grunkle fight her, it was instead Arnold taking off his sweatervest and trying to swing again. "Use your hips, arms relaxed, chin tucked in." Haruha instructed her opponent after yet another nimble avoidance, but Arnold simply didn't listen and escaped from her grasp. "You're no good m'boy, no good at all!" "JUST STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!" Arnold howled rigorously trying one last time to smack her, but was knocked down with a small tap and a declaration of "Oint." "Stan, do you have any idea what in God's name you're doing to Arnold?!" Ford hissed from the other side of the chain fence to his brother. "Don't go accusing me, the kid's just as much a victim as the rest of us!" Stan replied with a holler. "Okay, maybe I am partially to blame." "Go get'er cuz, show her what we've taught you!" Tyrone cheered for his cousin before he suddenly realized that he cheered a bit too late. "Oh right, you're down for the count. Sorry!" "If strength was measured by the hits one took, then you wouldn't be considered such a loser." Haruko said to Arnold while her bracelet began tingling once again. "To be honest, I thought you'd be better given your heritage. That's why you were taught all those things, to increase your manliness I heard. But I guess all those were for nothing because you know just about as much." As Gwen watched, something in her began trembling and her hat glowed faintly. "That's where you're wrong Raharu. You don't know anything either." Arnold argued bravely to her confusion. "The truth is, I'm completely unsatisfied!" This angered Haruko before she decided to remove her jacket right on top of the boy, which finally made Gwen go berserk. The force given off by her beanie blasted the door away and rapidly sucked Arnold inside her head. "Wait, what's going on!?" "He was right. Pacifica's gonna put all of us in the morgue." Stan regarded fearfully realizing his huge mistake when the absorption concluded leaving everyone shocked. All that was left was a bizarre black cutout with Arnold's Northwest ring on the finger. "Uh, my bad! Things will probably get worse than usual this time around." Haruko sheepishly apologized before mounting on her Vespa and preparing to take off. "I'll be waiting. She zoomed off leaving the four Pines and what was left of Arnold at the pool. "Hey, get back here you bitchy bassist! We still haven't settled our score yet!" Stan cursed angrily shaking his fists at the clouds. Gwen in comparison was utterly heartbroken by what she did to her cousin. "Oh I am so sorry about what happened to Arnold little lady." Ford said trying to comfort her. "You know, this reminds me of my Backupsmore days. Our school just won a cross-country event and we decided to celebrate by tearing everything apart. You should've seen the pool! They flipped the bitch!" "Where were you during that time?" Tyrone asked. "My roommate and I didn't want to take any part in the riot for safety reasons, so we went out for Italian." his genius great-grunkle answered. "I only wanted to lighten the mood after what happened just now, but I'm not sure how it'll work." -- Across town, business was booming at the amusement park with dozens of excited visitors of all ages stampeding through the entrance, most of them being couples. The Ramirez children were among these couples most notably Leia & Ezra, leaving Ian to watch over Juan, Jorge and Abby. "Does anyone have an idea on where Imelda is?" Ian asked his younger siblings while taking a bite out of some confectionery treats from the food stands. "She said that she got a part-time job here but hasn't come back." "While I'm just as concerned for Mel, all I want to know is WHERE IS AIKO?!" Juan cried out furiously typing on his phone. Elsewhere in the park, Tonkichi quietly observed two men fighting for the love of a girl and accidentally getting caught in each other before a red force took over their heads. "Excuse me sir, how much longer will this test ride go on?" Imelda asked Tonkichi. "Oh not too much longer." the theme park owner assured the seven-year-old. "All you gotta do is just stay right there my girl." As for Masurao, he was currently examining the park's webpage with Eyepatch. "Wait, hold on. Not that one." his senior citizen superior stated. "What? I thought it was Mr. Dodo." Masurao replied. "Don't you forget that we're dealing with super top secret stuff here, so that means we must activate the hidden communication mode." Eyepatch advised the younger male. "Go to the shopping section and push the little kiwi strap." "Which one?" Masurao exclaimed trying to find that strap. "The fluffy one right down there." On Eyepatch's commands, Masurao clicked on the image of a kiwi that led the two to a dining menu page. "Are you sure? The link went to a menu." he muttered in confusion. "Now just push She's So Chicky Wings." When he clicked on the menu item, it then guided to an article on one of the rides. "The Icarus Fall is the world's third-fastest falling ride?" "Wait wait wait, go back up!" Eyepatch shouted. "That's gotta be it, the falling one!" he added excitedly. "Uh, they're all falling." Masurao responded not knowing what his boss just said. "The one with the little emu!" "But which one?" "The one with the fluffy wings!" "You have to be more specific!" "THERE!" With a smack of his cane, Eyepatch made Masurao tap the emu which made Tonkichi appear on a video screen in his dodo costume. "Hello there, it's Mr. Dodo!" he merrily greeted them. "It's me." Masurao stoically greeted. "Don't be so sorry. Sometimes a kid will come calling me." the receiver grimly replied when another child greeted him. "Hi Mr. Dodo!" "Hey kid!" Tonkichi waved his wing at the passing child before returning to his teammates. "And any updates from Kanda?" "Nothing yet, though he has promised." Masurao answered. "But we did see the recently installed viking ship. We'll also have to deal with Immigration matters, but I don't want to rush you too much." "And what of the flower pot? Is it complete yet?" Tonkichi continued asking. "Uh sure. It can be activated at any time." Masurao muttered nervously. "The plant is online, alright!" Eyepatch declared, but their partner was too busy trying to greet a pair of girls who didn't want to be near him. "Can you please focus on your real job and see the data I sent you?" the younger redhead groaned incredulously. "This is a real job too!" Tonkichi argued. "Don't you know that this park helps fun-" "Do you think we can make do without that pot?" Eyepatch asked his colleague as the latter closed the video on Tonkichi and Aiko overheard their conversation. "I doubt it." Masurao groaned in defeat. "If you can't activate the flower pot, any backup plans we come up with will be useless!" "Shut up, I know that!" Aiko's father exclaimed while his daughter went upstairs to look for money she made off her dating service in a jack-o-lantern situated in her closet. "Aiko." Masurao called for his daughter while she frantically closed the closet door. "What is it?" the girl asked and her dad just looked down for a moment. -- "So which one of us do you think Pacifica will kill first?" Stan asked while Tyrone helped put his wheelchair back together, Gwen examined the balloon that was once her cousin and Ford collected some leftover pool water that he put into a beaker. "Personally, I'm betting on you poindexter since you started all this by bringing Gwen here." "I started this?!" Ford shouted angrily. "You're the one who's fostered this animosity with Raharu for literally twenty years ever since she first left us!" Still fuming, the scientist examined the beaker he had just used along with four others containing radioactive waste, soy sauce, machine oil and a strand of pink hair. "And what are you up to?" Stan asked gazing at the beakers. "Just been experimenting on some substances to make a superhuman formula. Just got some pool water from here, soy sauce from Little Asia, radioactive sludge from Scuttlebutt Island, machine oil and some of Raharu's hair." "How is that going to do anything of substance you nerd?" Stanley hissed. "Well, other than probably give you a killer stomachache." "It's still highly experimental brother, so maybe there is a chance of a killer stomachache." Stanford agreed before the two great-grunkles gazed at Gwen holding the balloon in her arms. "S-so thirsty." a familiar voice croaked through Arnold's ring. "W-water." "Great Caesar's ghost, he's alive!" Tyrone exclaimed while his big sister took the balloon to the pool showers. "Hey, put on a smile sis! Arnold's still out there!" he tried to cheer her up when the showers seemingly activated on command. "I don't want to remember what happened this morning." Gwen monologued reminiscing to earlier that day in manga form. -- "Oh good morning Gwennie!" Wendy greeted her daughter coming down the stairs. "Check it out, Jinyu left us so many clean & unbroken plates." Gwen however wasn't interested. "Something the matter my little pecan pie?" her mother asked. "I'm just back to my normal self, that's all." "No, you seem eerily different." Wendy said concernedly just as her daughter stepped outside and she realized something. "I've...changed?" Gwen stuttered going back inside to find her mom packing some small boxes. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Just...have fun at the Shack little dude. And tell Stan I send my condolences." Wendy said trying to dodge the question. "And also tell Arnold his aunt says hey!" "Seriously mom, why are you packing? Are we going to move?!" Gwen shouted suddenly getting angry. "I thought Dad wanted to stay here to catalogue all the weird crap going on here and hang with Aunt Mabel!" Wendy frowned to herself over her daughter's feelings before turning back to her. "I think it's time we try something different. Y'know, I always wanted to live in Portland." That was when Gwen's beanie beeping began to coincide with her bursting into tears. -- Returning to the present, the shower stopped and the balloon began to inflate in Gwen's arms. "Hey, is this about losing Jinyu, Greatkle Stan getting mad at Haruko, or losing Arnold?" Tyrone tried to console the older girl. "I'm here for you if you wanna shoulder to cry on." The balloon reached its maximum size and drifted to the ceiling above the kids. Taking a poolstick, Gwen grabbed it and took it outside where it was properly able to ascend. And then, as her beanie began blinking once again, she made a miniature crater beneath her feet which horrified her present family. "Find, the others, now." Ford muttered. -- "Hi, I'm Mr. Dodo!" Tonkichi greeted the happy couples in his mascot costume, but none were paying attention. "Looks like everyone's having a great time, am I right? Hey! Boys and girls!" he exclaimed while a group of employees armed with firearms assembled behind him. "You're all just little brats who still don't have all your hair down there! Sorry, but you're all pretty much useless!" The employees then aimed their weapons at the unknowing parkgoers on command. "FIRE!" Tonkichi ordered. "Sorry, wrong voice." he realized clearing his throat and switching to a deeper voice. "FIRE!" The weapons launched a series of red beams that tagged everyone and making the same red force appear in their heads. "THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST THEME PARKS!" Ezra screamed in pain as he and Leia became victims as well. "If I don't make it out of here alive, I want you to know Leia that I really do love you, and I'm basically a tsundere!" "Ha, called it!" Leia chuckled before she went back to screaming and gazed terrified at her brother. "Ian, get the kids away and we'll all catch up later! You four are the only single ones here!" she shouted to Ian. "Right! Juan, Jorge, Abby, come with me!" "But where do we find them? Where do we find Mommy and Daddy?!" Abby cried as Jorge took her arm. "Not sure, but they're probably just as lost as all the other couples here are!" Juan exclaimed racing off. The energy collected from the visitors soon filled up all the big rides at the park and caused them to lift themselves out of their supports. "They started already?!" Masurao shouted watching the chaos from afar. "I have to warn the Pines." Tsukata declared gazing through his binoculars. The attractions gathered around the big castle at the center, including the viking ship that Imelda was trapped on, and formed into a giant robot. "Captain, I don't think we'll make it!" one of the employees shouted. "We've got to do it! No matter the cost, we'll show them all!" Tonkichi declared bravely as the castle bot faced the upright Medical Mechanica iron. "They may smooth out our brains, but they'll never smooth out our freedom! START THE ATTAAAAACK!" The castle robot launched everything it got at the giant iron, but nothing worked and the factory in turn blasted a giant laser that instantly burnt the opposing machine to cinders. -- Far above Earth, Arnold's inflated husk drifted out of the atmosphere and towards an Immigration Control Center satellite storing lost items. A mechanical hand snatched the balloon and tossed it down the chute to be scanned & later dumped into the old Gravity Falls junkyard which attracted the attention of a familiar-looking robot dog. "Well I'll be. Aren't you just the cutest little thing?" Older Man McGucket greeted the little mutt. "Hey I know you! You're that spindly johnny who followed the kids around!" The genius hillbilly scooped up some of the trash from the box it was dumped in, including Arnold's remains, and put it in a dog bowl for the canine machine to eat. "Eat up now little feller!" -- Back at the amusement park, Haruko was spectating the whole battle when she felt her stomach return to its normal size. "So they're still doin' it, huh?" she mumbled getting back to her entertainment when she saw a few familiar faces. "For the record, we already knew something was up long before you warned us!" Ford shouted to Kanda when he spotted Haruko. "Raharu! Can't believe I'm saying this, but we got a problem!" Along with the Stans, Tyrone, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Ian, Leia, Juan & Jorge, Abby, Ezra, Soos, Melody, a very angry Pacifica preparing to use a broken bottle as a shiv and Kanda was a now cybernetic Gwen glaring furiously at the Vespa Woman. "Lookin' good Gwennie!" Haruko complimented with a wolf whistle and a nosebleed. "You're really killing it!" Gwen didn't reply with her words, but instead with a gold battering ram launching from her robot arm. "Just so we can all reach a compromise, all of you are to blame for this!" Pacifica shouted tranquilly. "Whoa, hold on all y'all!" Haruko exclaimed avoiding the younger girl by jumping on the roller coaster tracks. "Stop it, I didn't do nothing wrong!" "BULL-FUDGING-SHIT RAHARU!" Stan cursed as Gwen followed his former partner preparing to use the other Mustang to help his great-great niece. "All I did was give you all a little nudge, reignited some old passions, helped you with your dreams, s'all!" "Give him back! Give Arnold back!" Gwen screamed continuously attempting to hit her. "Wah-ho! Guess the Pines still have quite a lot of fight in them!" Haruko exclaimed before she found Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica right behind her. "Give me back my son or else." Pacifica hissed arming herself with Jinyu's Jazzmaster. Before anyone of them could fight, Haruhara surfed away further up the coaster rails. "In the end, you're no different from the rest of us!" Gwen snarled leaping away from her family to give pursuit. "It's all because you're in love with that weird bird, right? You're just another girl stupidly in love!" "See, like I kept telling you Raharu! You can't force someone to love you!" Dipper agreed with his daughter. "Oh quit parroting Mason or I'll shove crackers down your throat to shut you up!" Haruko shouted to the Pines father before she noticed her bracelet starting to react to something amiss. "Huh?" "Uh, dudes!" Soos exclaimed gazing up at the reddening sky. "Is the multiverse going all kaput or am I thinking of some other cataclysmic event?" he asked cuing the others to look up as well. "No. Way." Ford & Kanda boomed in shock. Soon everybody important to the story gazed up at the sky and Haruko realized just who it was. "It's Atomsk." -- AT LAST, IT IS DONE! I started kinda late on this chapter, but it was all worth it to finally beat my deadline. What will become of the Pines family and friends? Will Haruko finally control Atomsk? Why does McGucket recognize that oddly familiar dog? Join us next time for the final chapter of Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star and be sure to read my other works for more!

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 3: Beach Episodes for the Win! (originally posted on March 28, 2019)

AN: Now this is where things will get pretty deep. We already got hints of Haruko's past last chapter, plus the confirmation that she ran into Rick Sanchez at some point in that past. But that leaves the question: will there be an adaptation of FLCL Alternative set in the Rick and Morty multiverse? Who knows? ZKDW ZDV VXSSRVHG WR EH D VXQQB EHDFK GDB VRRQ EHJDQ WR ORVH LWV ZDB. RQ DQ LVODQG LW OLHV KLGGHQ VHFUHWV WKDW ZHUH PHDQW WR EH IRUELGGHQ.

Gwen's next nightmare began when she found herself walking in a single file line with tons of other unfamiliar people in an even more unfamiliar place. "M-Mama, Daddy, Tyrone?!" she asked while quietly panicking over her current situation before her location changed from the crowd to a cruddy apartment. That was when she began to hear voices. "Do you realize what you have done Haruha?!" "Who said that?" Gwen wondered in response to the invisible male's stern voice. "Look at your father when he's talking to you Haruha!" A smacking sound soon followed. "Your slacking off and playing that infernal music nearly got us all in trouble! Either behave like every other girl on this godforsaken planet or never show your face around me again!" The moment Gwen closed her eyes in fear, she next found herself on a stage with various pitch black people clearly resembling shadows with an orange head glaring at her before it began to bellow "PLANET WASPRUS, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" Gwen winced for a moment while the audience watched patiently, begging her to get on with it as if they were fearing for their lives before she noticed her shadow in the spotlight. It was still the shape of a girl, yet her facial structure and hairstyle gave away who's eyes Gwen was viewing from. "Haruko?!" She then began to hear more voices, the three present sounding even more unfamiliar. "Aw shitballs you guys, we gotta run!" the first voice belched loudly as color-coded silhouettes of a human man, a birdlike creature and a bipedal feline became more opaque. "Running from what? The Galactic Space Patrol Brotherhood, the Cromulons or Medical Mechanica?!" a second more high-pitched voice responded that sounded like a character from one of the old cartoons Soos loved. "All of the above!" "And it's not just them. Look." the final voice stoically added pointing to the sky. A gigantic red phoenix with a wingspan that encompassed the entire planet of Wasprus suddenly appeared, startling the large head. "IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST DISQUALIFIER THIS EPISODE!" it boomed. "LEGENDARY PIRATE KING ATOMSK, SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!" The Pirate King flapped its wings, slowly tearing the planet apart as Gwen continued staring at it. There was something majestic about the bird's appearance that made her slowly step forward. Her hair began turning pink and she started reaching out to the bird while the belching man's voice sounded once more. "Don't do it babe, that's Atomsk! His power will seriously screw with your head!" Suddenly, a chibi version of Jinyu landed right in front of her. "I tried to warn you!" she scolded in a squeaky voice. As more chibi Jinyus fell from the sky, Gwen came closer to Atomsk as it looked down on her and screeched loudly. That was what caused the girl to finally awaken with a jerk. Gwen panted quietly clinging onto her bedsheets as she looked around her and Tyrone's room. "What's with these dreams lately?" she pondered before another voice was heard, this one she could recognize from miles away. "BEACH DAY, BEACH DAY, BEACH DAY, BEACH DAY!" Tyrone excitedly burst into their room and ran around for a bit before pouncing his older sister while she continued to lay in bed. "Come on Gwen, beach day!" "Oh right." his older sister muttered. "Beach day."

"So Ezra, what do you think of my new bikini?" Leia asked Ezra showing off her school swimsuit themed two-piece. "Please just stop with this." Ezra responded turning away in embarrassment. "I have far more important things to do, like stare out into the distance." "I think that blue is really your color!" Tyrone complimented the older girl. "Though I don't see the point of the big nametag on the top." The Pines and Ramirez familes have decided on a day at Lake Gravity Falls's beach with Haruko, Jinyu and the Chius along for the ride. However Ford was not present on account on having someone over while they were having some fun in the sun. "Okay Arnold, today marks your first day of manhood!" Juan announced rubbing Arnold's shoulders while Jorge stood by with a bottle of sunscreen in hand. "One of the most important aspects of being a man is being brave around total jalapenas like Haruko over there!" As he set the stage for the lesson, Haruko laid down in a beach chair with a cold drink in hand catching some rays in a rather skimpy bikini. "Or maybe baes like Jinyu!" Jorge added pointing to the other guitar player building sandcastles with Melody, Imelda and Abby. Arnold just blinked for a bit before asking "Okay, what did you just say?" "We're workshopping new slang that I'm sure will become the talk of the town within a few days." Juan answered taking the sunscreen away from his brother to hand to the Northwest boy. "Anyway, the best way to get a girl on the beach to have the hots for you is to give them a very good applying of the good ol' sunscreen. But it's your choice bro." "You could either go for them or maybe a certain other duo." Jorge added. "Grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!" "I know you two have a crush on both my moms! Can you two not creep me out like that?!" Arnold yelped fumbling with the sunblock. "Hey, who's at fault for making Pacifica so extra thicc?" Juan argued before Haruko called the three boys over. "Yoo-hoo, young male friends! Does one of you want to help this jalapena put on sunscreen?" "This is your chance young grasshopper. Go to her." Jorge beckoned their student in manliness. As the two boys proudly watched him awkwardly step forward, Stan on the other hand was stewing in his wheelchair. "Don't get a nosebleed Stanley, don't be like those old anime men who lust after any female that moves!" he commanded himself. "Don't do it, don't do it! Aw, here it comes." Thankfully for Stan, blood didn't fly out his nose. But instead, his own heart started acting up and made him fall out of the chair onto the sand. "Still better than a nosebleed." "Oh my God, Stan!" Dipper cried as he and Mabel raced to their great-uncle's side. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I'm fine Dipper, simply failed to resist looking like a horny senior." Stan answered while his speech was muffled by the sand. "Think I might need to get outta the sun for a while." "Here Grunkle Stan, just sit down with Gwen and you'll be just fine." Mabel stated guiding the con-man to a table where Gwen was sitting in the shade. "Women. Am I right Gwen?" Stan snarked to his great-great niece. "By the way, where's Ford at?" "Stanford said he'll catch up with us later." Jinyu answered appearing from behind. "He just has some business to attend to."

"So Mr. Kanda, what is your history with Raharu?" Ford asked his new friend Tsukata Kanda in his laboratory. "I remember her quite well from when I was a boy." Kanda stated. "She quite literally crashed into my life and pulled a variety of things outta me, but the only one I kept was this." The agent reached into his jacket and out of it came a small squirt gun. "A water gun? How quaint." Ford commented examining the toy. "My great-nephew and great-great niece had giant robots and guitars come out of their noggins." "Then they must be lucky. Their heads must be ripe with N.O energy for her to use." Tsukata explained. "Use to become strong enough to find the Pirate King and take him back from Medical Mechanica." "That's what I've always wondered about her ever since she first met my family." Ford added. "What's her deal with Atomsk and where did she come from? Is she even from this dimension?" "Dimension?" Kanda wondered before Ford pulled out that old photo of him with Rick. "As it turns out, she may have encountered one Rick Sanchez at some point in her life which would explain her sociopathic behavior; as Rick here is a wanted criminal across multiple universes." "So you're implying she might not be of this world?" the Department of Interstellar Immigration agent continued. "I have no idea either." Ford answered with his shoulders slumping in confusion. "But from what I've gathered, she's become more villainous since we last met. We need to keep the kids on high alert should she ever try anything funny."

"Wow, Arnie sure is taking his sweet time." Jorge commented gazing at his watch as Arnold pretty much started slowly crawling on the sand before he realized what time it was. "Hey Juan, don't you have a girlfriend coming to see us?" "Wait, when did Juan get a girlfriend?" Tyrone asked catching the twins' attention as Juan began panicking. "Beneath all that silliness, you're a sweet guy but when did that ever become a thing?" "I am terribly sorry my brotherhood of man!" Juan exclaimed nervously. "I've just nearly lost track of the time!" He then proceeded to run away from the beach at high speeds. "This way fellow knights of masculinity, follow me!" With the three boys running away followed by Arnold deciding to just give up and cower under the shade, Haruko simply shrugged. "Talk about toast not being good in milk." the Vespa Woman snarked. "Hey Gwen, wanna do it for Shaggy over there?" Dipper and Jinyu were quick to defend the younger girl from the former housekeeper's advances. "I'm fine with either you or Jinyu doing it as well, Pine Tree." the orange-haired woman added smiling, causing Dipper to turn redder than blood. Meanwhile the bus had dropped off a young girl around Juan & Jorge's age who had blue hair, a white knee-length dress, a red jewel pendant, green diamond earrings, matching hair-bow and a flower pot in her hands. "Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend!" Juan declared. "This is Aiko." He then lowered his voice for Aiko. "Come on sweetie, say something." "Uh, hello there. My name's Aiko and I'm dating your friend Juan here." Aiko muttered nervously before she hid her face behind her flower pot. "Haha, she's perfect!" Juan laughed pridefully. "What a beautiful lady! She doesn't drink, swear or sweat! A perfect cinnamon roll as they once referred to people like her!" "My name's Tyrone, a friend of your boyfriend. Hey, nice flower pot you got there." Tyrone introduced himself and complimented Aiko's pot. "You like gardening? I kinda like gardening too." he stated trying to find some common ground between the two. "Uh, yeah." Aiko answered. "So tell us Aiko, what made you want to date my brother?" Juan asked her as the four began walking back to the beach. "What qualities do you find attractive?" "Well I just really like him, that's all!" Aiko responded with a squeak. "Oh, I'm so embarrassed!" She hid herself behind the flower pot again making Juan laugh. "So why did you bring that flower pot here?" Tyrone asked again. "It's my emotional support plant." the flower girl answered shyly. "It may not look like it, but this was very expensive." "See, what did I tell you?! So precious!" Juan cackled loudly. "Oh don't say that Juannie, it's embarrassing!" Aiko blushed with a giggle.

Back at the beach, Jinyu had been nominated to put sunscreen on Haruko. Or so she thought, as the Vespa Woman recoiled upon feeling the solution on her back. "So oily! What SPF is this?!" she cried frantically rubbing herself. Jinyu just gazed at the bottle in her hands and read the label. "Oh, it's tanning oil." "It's what?!" Raharu shouted as her skin suddenly turned a golden tan. "Haha, oldest trick in the book!" Stan applauded with a booming laugh. "Up top!" He held up his hand for Jinyu to give him a high-five, but didn't receive any. "Come on, I just want to feel like I accomplished something with someone as a team!" Jinyu rolled her eyes and returned the high-five. "Yes!" "You're all still holding a grudge I see." Haruko commented. "Just for the past three weeks." Dipper stated scowling. "You were stalking us at Greasy's where we went out to lunch, in the streets and even in Gwen's room! This is nothing!" "You've already gotten what you wanted once before." Jinyu added. "It's time you just gave it all up. Quit it already." "No way." the Vespa Woman declared. "I need to fulfill my wish in order to fulfill my-" She was suddenly interrupted by a volleyball to the face thrown by Aiko jumping for joy while the Ramirez children, Candy, Ezra, Wendy and Mabel stood by. "How embarrassing!" The ball was tossed into the air and Haruko jumped high preparing for a spike. "ATTACK NUMBER...ichi." she shouted smacking the ball downward and crashing it into the sand, blinding everyone. "So, why don't we all call it a truce now?" she offered to Jinyu, Dipper and the Stans before joining the game. "Ready or not, I'm gonna come at you all!" "Yeesh, talk about unsubtle." Dipper snarked before the two heard Gwen approach. "That woman over there, what does she want?" Gwen wondered as they watched Haruko toss volleyballs from above at rapid fire speed. Jinyu gave her answer, as stoic as ever. "That woman's the same as me." "Who wants to go next?!" Jinyu's other half challenged making funny noises into a megaphone. "Uh Jinyu. What is it that you want?" the daughter of Dipper asked the Bel-Air driver. "I was once with someone amazing." the older woman answered. "He was big, strong, and simply amazing. With him, one could simply fly around anywhere in space and live forever. But then, he suddenly disappeared; he abandoned me." "We're talking about the bird guy, right?" Stan interjected. "I said it once, and I'll say it again: dead bird reproductive organs taste terrible!" "Not now Stan." Dipper cringed at the thought of it. "Aw come on kid, you really think I was expecting it to taste like frozen peas?!" his great-uncle complained before Jinyu cut them both off. "As I was saying, it turns out in the end I just wasn't his equal." she continued. "I'm not enough for him. At least, not by myself. And yet we still continue to look for him." "We?" Gwen asked as her father put a hand on her head. "She means Haruko sweetie." Mason stated. "Right Dipper. You chase something because you simply can't catch it. Want to touch it, but you know you can't." Jinyu responded before she turned to Gwen. "You must've experienced something like that in your life, correct?" "You're asking what I really want?" Gwen muttered in surprise. She pondered for a moment before Arnold gave an impressive receive to Tyrone, who retaliated with a spike. "All I want is for me and my family to be safe." she muttered picking up the ball after it rolled to her feet.

Throughout the rest of the day, everybody spent their fun in the sun playing volleyball, eating barbecue, smashing watermelons, surfing and building sandcastles. Even Ford joined in when he finally arrived. "The blue spring of adolescence." Haruko remarked burying Jinyu in the sand with a shovel. "Perhaps this is an extension of our friendship, delayed adolescence if you will." "I'm content with you changing your mind about our relationship." Jinyu replied barely reacting to her other half plotting to get rid of her, even as Haruko began mixing cement. "But regardless, this still doesn't mean I'll let you use any of the children for your schemes. No point in fighting anymore." "Is that so?" Haruhara wondered. "Brainwashing suppression mechanism. They took extra measures ahead of time." Julia replied. "And she's got quite the geniuses to defend her when those fail." "You mean the nerd herd?" Haruko snipped before the two women turned their attention to most of the kids and adults working together on a particularly big sandcastle. Everyone was talking about how tall they can make it, except for Gwen who was perfectly silent as she picked up a crab fawning over a gold coin in its free claw. "By the way," Jinyu spoke again as she was now trapped in a concrete cocoon. "I fail to see the fun in this." "Oop, potty emergency!" Haruko chirped leaving the Jazzmaster woman encased in stone. "When you gotta go, you gotta go! AND I'M GOING!" "You need a lift there Jinyu?" Ford asked towering over the woman, and she quietly replied with "I am perfectly fine Stanford, but thanks anyway." As the kids continued working on the sandcastle, Gwen sat under the shade with Aiko and Ezra. "So, you not gonna swim in the ocean?" Aiko asked cheerfully to the dour girl. "No, no I'm not." Gwen moaned. "Then why even go to the beach if you're not going in the water? Do you have aquaphobia or something?" Ezra commented kicking his feet up on the table. "Better question is, what about you?" the younger girl in the cap replied. "Is it because of Leia?" "W-what gave you that idea you aesaekki?!" Ezra screeched in embarrassment as his face turned redder than Gwen's hair. "I don't know, you just seemed to blush at her swimsuit." Gwen remarked with a barely visible smirk. "Speaking of which, why didn't you bring yours Aiko?" "'Scuse me? That's just what Juan and I didn't agree to." Aiko grinned much to the two's confusion.

As the sun began to set, Juan & Jorge taught Arnold how to make a campfire while Aiko watched, Ian, Leia & Tyrone skipped stones, Ezra sat on a rock by himself and Imelda was getting ready to put Abby to bed. Meanwhile the adults chatted while Jinyu remained trapped in dry cement, with the waves gently taking her off the sand. "So now I have to use these sticks?" Arnold asked trying to light a fire with a pair of twigs. "Exactly my boy! You've been paying attention!" Juan exclaimed as their student in manliness rigorously rubbed the wood together to create a few sparks. "Hey, I'm doing it!" "You're doing amazing sweetie." Jorge congratulated Arnold before the sparks became a full ember. "Woohoo! Hey Aiko, over here!" Juan called to his girlfriend. "Do you think it's cool how much we've taught him?!" The flower pot girl beamed brightly before Dipper stepped toward the three boys. "Hey kids, have you seen Gwen anywhere?" "Beats me. And Haruko is gone too." Jorge responded. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go find her!" Arnold shouted racing up and down the shore in search of his cousin. "Wait, Gwen is gone?!" Tyrone added just as concerned for his older sister. "We have to find her before nightfall. I'm getting worried sick." Dipper announced alerting everyone on the beach to the current situation. After an hour of searching, they regrouped at the table with no success. "Where could Gwen be?" Candy asked. "She couldn't have gone far, but we combed every last centimeter of the beach." Ford stated. "Then there's only one place left on this lake that we haven't touched yet," Stan theorized. "And that's Scuttlebutt Island." "Or as Mabel and I call it, Butt Island!" Soos interjected. "Oh you scallywag!" Mabel giggled. "Uh, excuse me." Aiko squeaked. "I still need to get home. Can someone walk me to the bus?" "Why I'd be Patrick Stewart to milady!" Juan politely exclaimed taking his girlfriend by the hand. "Aw, that's my little gentleman." Melody said grinning. "But on an unrelated note, how are we going to get there?" "I think I've got a plan guys." Jorge announced adjusting his sunglasses. "It's time to set sail on the SS Cool Dude II!" At the bus station, Aiko dropped her timid facade for a more harsh and stingy one as she said goodbye to Juan. "Just so we're clear, I'm being charged overtime! Are we clear?" she demanded. "I am terribly sorry." Juan moaned, which earned him a scoff. "Give it." "Uh, here." Juan whimpered handing Aiko a wad of dollar bills. When she snatched it, all the Ramirez boy got in return was her flower pot. "So, was the character I created to your liking?" Aiko asked examining her earnings. "Oh yes, positively adorable!" Juan answered excitedly before the driver announced the bus's oncoming departure. "Okay, all there." the girl stated hopping onboard. "You boys think girls who're only shy and timid are just so precious. And by the way, the pot is yours." "Oh, uh..." Juan stuttered at the thought before Aiko switched back to her character. "A present for you!" she chirped gleefully. "Thanks Aiko! I'm gonna take good care of this-" Juan responded gratefully when he was cut off. "No. No it wasn't. Let's just say that you exchanged the envelope for that. Wouldn't want people finding out that I'm a rent-a-date." "So I bought this from you!" Juan realized as the bus began to leave. "Bye or whatever." Aiko bluntly said farewell before the vehicle drove away, leaving her fake date in the dust. The boy's train of thought went off the rails when Jorge snuck up from behind him to his shock. "Hey bro, you wanna be pirates?"

"Yo-ho, yo-ho. A pirate's life for me." Tyrone, Juan, Jorge and Leia sang onboard the SS Cool Dude II that was now captained by Ford as it left Melody, Imelda, Abby and Candy on the beach. "An insect took our friend away from her hut, look out me hearties yo-ho. And whisked her away to the island of butts, look out me hearties yo-ho." "We've just set sail and I'm already feeling seasick." Ezra groaned growing tired of the singing while he and Arnold leaned over the back of the vessel. "But we still have to find Gwen." Arnold declared trying to be bold as he was suddenly cut off. "When you were a kid, did you ever draw pictures of fireworks while watching them with your family, only for it to be too late?" "W-who's there?" Arnold yipped in shock. "Wait, Jinyu?! Where are you?" he said looking around for the woman. "Do you know where Gwen is?" "You'd try to draw every last colored speck of light. But the only way to color the night sky itself was with just a black pencil." Jinyu continued monologuing. "They lit up the dark sky so beautifully with all the colors." "What does fireworks have to do with finding Gwen?!" Ezra shouted. "All beautiful things eventually fade away." That was when Arnold reminisced on the sandcastle they all built together. Turns out Gwen put on a small smile at that time. "LAND HO! LAND HO!" Ian roared when the Cool Dude II finally reached Scuttlebutt Island. "Weigh anchor everyone!" "Well, this is it." Dipper declared dropping the boat's anchor as the crew disembarked. "Everyone needs to stay sharp. There's no telling what awaits us here." As they marched onward toward the depths of the island, Jinyu washed up on shore just as a shooting star glimmered over her. "Oh, the first star."

"So why do they say three square meals a day anyway?" Tyrone asked while the group continued exploring the Scuttlebutt woods. "A square only has four sides and I have no idea where the meal part came from?" "Last I remember, it means eating well." Pacifica replied. "That makes sense, but what do squares have to do with it?" Tyrone continued. "Quiet everyone, I hear noises!" Ford alerted putting a stop to their sojourn. The noises in question were quite unusual, ranging from beavers chittering while chainsaws roared and dinosaurs snarled. "Dinosaurs, here?" "Oh no. How hot is it today?" Mabel groaned in wonder. The dinosaur stomped closer and closer until it revealed itself as a cute little T-rex that seemed around Tyrone's height with a peculiar red plate on its back, orange boots and a large snout. "Aw! Hey there little guy!" Juan said becoming amazed at how cute the little dinosaur was before it revealed its frog-like tongue that grabbed the boy by his ankle and swallowed him whole. "HELP ME!" "Oh my God, Juan!" Soos cried out shaking the dinosaur by its torso trying to free his son. The creature relented and laid an egg with green spots patterning it that hatched to reveal a traumatized Juan. "You okay there little dude?" "I think I learned what it's like to be reincarnated. And I also learned what flavor the universe is." Juan stuttered utterly astounded at the experience as the dinosaur walked away. "Really, what was it?" Jorge asked. "It was black licorice. Yeah, we're utterly doomed." his twin brother stated. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna lie down here and contemplate on how the platypus came to be. You all go on ahead." "Where did that thing come from?" Tyrone asked. "I think I know what." Ford stated taking a knee towards a toxic waste spill. "Radioactive ooze, classic!" Stan exclaimed. "And it's not just that. Look over there!" Dipper added as a colony of beavers with chainsaws for tails emerged chittering cutely. "Sweet, chainsaw-tailed beavers!" Leia cheered becoming distracted by the little critters. "Oop, stay back sis! They do have chainsaws for tails." Ian cautioned his younger sister. "Now let's not get too distracted, cause I feel all these freaks of nature must mean we're close." "Yep, I can definitely see a Medical Mechanica factory from here." Pacifica noted turning her gaze to a giant iron nearby. "When did that show up?" Wendy asked. "I honestly have no idea. Weren't they supposed to be done with Gravity Falls when Atomsk first showed up here?" Ezra wondered. "Though I have a strong feeling we'll be proven wrong soon enough." "No turning back now. Gwen is nearby." Dipper declared stepping further into the dark island forest. "Come on guys." While the others followed, Ford stayed behind to examine the waste before putting on some protective gloves to scoop it up in a beaker. "This should be useful." he muttered.

When they finally reached the Medical Mechanica plant stationed on Scuttlebutt Island, the factory was horrendously dilapidated and a small hole was there to serve as their makeshift entrance. "Okay, here's the plan everyone." Ian announced. "Me, Leia, Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Arnold, Pacifica & Wendy are gonna go in first while the rest of you serve as lookout. This could be a bumpy ride ahead of us." "Aw come on Ian, why can't Ford be lookout while I join you guys?" Stan complained. "If you switch us, I'll let you become your dad's successor!" he tried to barter with the eldest Ramirez son, but his offer fell on deaf ears as Ian snuck in first. "Time for me to put that fencing club practice to good use. And Leia, now might be a good time to whip out all you learned from the kickboxing class Stan signed you up for." "I came prepared." Leia grinned determinedly preparing to use her sarong as a whip. "Wish us luck Grunkle Stan." Mabel said to Stan before she joined her group in exploring the factory. "Oh just you all wait, I'm gonna maim her the hardest by the story's end." he grumbled. Ian's group tiptoed into the Medical Mechanica factory watching out for any sign of Gwen. "Just gotta be quiet everyone. No sudden movements." Dipper whispered just as he began hearing the voices of two familiar girls. One voice was struggling to escape while another must've been her captor. Upon hearing the voices, Dipper scooted to the source hiding behind a pair of large doors. "Let's get to know each other better." he listened in on Haruko as his daughter continued to struggle. The father yipped in fear for her safety and began to peer through the doors to get a closer look. "Everyone, over here." he signaled for the others to group up with him. "Oh no." "Let's get to know each other better." Haruko remarked towering over Gwen in a nurse's uniform. "Please stop." the younger girl whimpered before the Vespa Woman unbuttoned the Hawaiian shirt and the shorts she had on to reveal a pink, purple and white striped one piece underneath. "Oh my, looks like someone was planning on having fun today. Now tell me, where can I hit you so you can overflow?" "Overflow? What kinda hot garbage is she on about?" Leia wondered incredulously as they felt an enraged Dipper about to break down the doors. "Oh dammit, someone help me stop Mr. Pines before he makes a huge mistake and blows our cover!" she ordered trying to hold the father back from barging in, but was too late as he kicked down the doors screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER RAHARU?!" Arnold on the other hand got one good look at his captive cousin and made a bright green blob creature emerge from his forehead to everyone's shock. "What, it came outta him?" Haruhara muttered as the creature slithered for a bit before it faced Arnold. "I have no idea what you're supposed to be, but let me give you one command." he said. "Go save Gwen!" Back outside the factory, the rest of the Cool Dude crew awaited their teammates' return when a loopy Juan came wobbling towards them carrying a flower pot in his hands and a strange stone shape on his back. "Oh hey bro, you're back!" Jorge cheerfully greeted his twin. "How did contemplating the universe go?" "I just paid a visit to the Garden of Eden. And the apples were terrible!" Juan exclaimed shaking his head to relieve himself of his daze while planting the stone on the ground, revealing itself to be the same one that Jinyu was trapped in. "Where'd the flower pot come from? Was it a gift from your girlfriend when she dumped you?" Stan asked the pompadour boy, who then screamed at his brother "YOU TOLD THEM YOU IDIOT?!" "I cannot tell a lie!" Jorge quoted George Washington before bringing his brother close. "But I didn't tell them she was basically a callgirl." he whispered into his ear. "That's between you and me. We can Tony Hawk about it later." "Where are the kids?" Jinyu asked Soos. "Oh yeah dude, they just ran in there after Haruko to save Gwen." the former handyman replied brightly. "I'm sure things will be all hunky-dory by sunrise."

Meanwhile in a small house back at Gravity Falls, Aiko had arrived home to her father who was reading the papers. "Hey Aiko." Masurao asked the girl. "Do you know what happened to the flower pot that was in this room?" "No clue." Aiko fibbed going upstairs, prompting suspicion from her father before he put down his tabloids & shut the door behind him, and the room gave way to reveal various machinery hooked up to a screen with the eyepatched man on it. "This is codename Eyepatch." Eyepatch said. "Do you have an update?" "Actually, I have a slight problem." Masurao proclaimed. "What is it?" Eyepatch asked. "The flower pot seems to have gone missing. What about you and the others?" the capped male replied. "Tonkichi and I are waiting for the right moment to strike. But Kanda on the other hand was able to fish info from Stanford about that motorbike chick." Eyepatch explained making a picture of Haruko mindlessly picking her nose while giving a peace sign. "If what he says is true, she's not of this world and we got an interdimensional apocalypse on the horizon."

"So what species of flower is this supposed to be?" Ezra wondered examining the pot. "Doesn't seem like anything I've researched, so I assume it's just a simple weed." Suddenly the factory behind them exploded while Haruko soared high above it with Gwen in hand and Dipper, Mabel, Tyrone & Arnold clinging onto the green creature chasing after her. With a smirk, Haruko tossed the younger girl away to smack the beast with her bass and send it flying with another hit. "Hey, leave my niece alone you creep!" Mabel shrieked clinging onto the biker's front and giving her a hard slap across the face. Haruko returned the slap and it soon devolved into the two women flailing their hands at each other as they kept falling. As for the boys, they continued grabbing hold of the green blob while it continued going after the airborne Gwen. Thankfully they were able to catch her, but she landed face-first into Arnold's chest causing her cap to react and spawn a mass of wires & metals from her forehead that roped her in and absorbed all nearby metal, even the Medical Mechanica factory. "What the hell is going on now?!" Ian shouted while he, Leia, Pacifica, Ford and Wendy evacuated just in time. "More N.O." Ford declared looking up at the giant object above them. "We have to save Gwen quick before it gets any worse!" "G-Gwen." Arnold muttered in shock at the sight before him. "Sis." Tyrone added just as worried sick. Out of complete nowhere, the flower pot made a comeback by landing on Arnold's face and making him lose his grip on the creature. Dipper & Tyrone were sent flying as well due to the shockwave until the three Pines were rescued at the last moment by Jinyu's Bel-Air. "Listen Arnold, you are the only one that can save Gwen." Julia stated from the backseat of the car. "Back here." she called to the trio lying down in her cement confinement. "So that's where you've been!" Dipper exclaimed. "Not even going to ask how you ended up like this." he added before turning to the giant hunk of metal in the sky. "So that thing's got Gwen?" "We've seen some crazy stuff since you and Haruko came into our lives, but this is the last straw!" Arnold added fiercely. "You gotta help us Jinyu, please!" "If you are unable to draw fireworks; well then," Jinyu declared. "Try shooting one in the air!" Her shades twinkled before her limbs burst from the dry concrete and she stepped onto the hood of her car. "Do it again, as many times as you need!" The Bel-Air once more turned into a mech ready for another fight. "On second thought, maybe you should be one instead!" Jinyu exclaimed folding her arms in a similar matter to a certain fusion of a pair of buster machines before tossing Arnold her bass. "Aw yeah, this is amazing!" Raharu cheered mounting onto the green creature while it waved a white flag in defeat. She smacked its butt with her Mustang to make it fly further toward the machine holding Gwen captive before spotting the Bel-Air giving chase with Arnold standing on the hood with guitar in hand. Haruko wordlessly commanded the blob to fire from one of its hoses, but the Bel-Air blocked the energy spheres and the two charged. The nurse gave the transforming car a mighty smack on the arm and chased it once more. "Cream her Arnold, make your mothers proud!" Pacifica cheered her son on before realizing that Mabel was still falling. "Oh my god, Mabel!" she cried politely helping Stan out of his wheelchair so that she can use it to catch her wife. "COMING IN HOOOOOTTTTT!" Mabel hollered descending into the seat of her grunkle's chair. "And she sticks the landing! Thank you, thank you very much!" she declared to an invisible crowd before Pacifica grabbed her face to give her a big kiss. "Knew you'd come through honey." The blob continued firing at the Bel-Air, but thankfully Arnold refused to back down while Dipper was desperate to escape. "I can't take this anymore!" he screamed lighting up three cigarettes to calm his nerves. "Are you kidding dad?! BEST BEACH DAY EVER!" Tyrone shouted excitedly. Haruko on the other hand wasn't feeling the same way as she commanded the creature to once again fire, this time at one of the automobile's rocket boosters giving her an opening. "Hah, got you now!" Then suddenly, the metallic creature roared and whipped the Bel-Air away, ejecting Dipper & Arnold from it and the latter still armed with Jinyu's guitar. This would prove the perfect chance for the son of Mabel & Pacifica to land a fatal blow upon the beast, which led to Gwen finally being revealed. "Are you okay Gwen?! Say something!" Arnold cried for his unconscious cousin. "Oh no no no no! What am I going to do now?!" "Hmph, she doesn't have enough yet." Haruko suggested having already touched down behind the two on the green blob while it deflated. "Enough of what?" Arnold asked the older woman standing over them with her bass. "A tundra? Tsun-dora? Tsundere?" Haruhara muttered to herself before making her findings clear. "She's definitely one of those people." "Just shut up already Raharu!" Dipper snarled dusting himself off after a nasty landing before racing to his daughter's side. "Please wake up Gwennie! Please!" he exclaimed clutching the girl's shoulder which made her moan. "Saying her name ain't gonna help Pine Tree, let an old friend do the heavy lifting." Haruko lifted her guitar skyward ready to bludgeon Gwen, but Arnold had finally had enough. "Leave them alone!" he shouted shoving her away with tears in his eyes. "Aw." Haruko cooed putting down her string instrument and getting close to the boy. "Then take that hat offa her." she whispered into his ear. "Go on, don't be shy. No need to worry. Your voice will reach her." "Don't do it Arnold, it's a trap!" Jinyu called dropping Mabel, Pacifica, the Stans and Tyrone from her car just in time for it to be shot down. "Leave my son alone you maniac!" Pacifica growled, but the five were too late as Haruko sat down with Arnold in her arms. "You can reach it, it's deep inside of her." she continued toying with his arm. "Why don't we do it together, kay?" Arnold gasped, realizing what was happening, and made her back off. "I don't need your help! Let me help her myself!" he shouted defiantly reaching for the bobble of Gwen's cap. "Don't do it Arnold! You have no idea what will happen next!" Dipper cried to his nephew, but his words fell on deaf ears before the cap started whirring violently. Red sparks erupted from the girl's head as it felt like her hat was literally drilling itself into her skull. When all was said and done, Haruko rapidly tip-toed toward Gwen and attempted to remove her beanie from her head with little success. But what was successful was the fall of the metal creature as its pieces began falling into the lake before the eyes of everyone still on Scuttlebutt Island. As the Pines began to get up to see what was happening, they barely had time to react before the beast collapsed underneath them. When all the metal was completely submerged in the ocean, the sun rose and they were saved by Jinyu as she parked her car on the new metallic part of the island. "Come on Gwen, please come back to us!" Dipper cried trying to wake his daughter up one last time. "What is even going on?!" "I told you all not to touch that!" Jinyu cautioned the Pines just as the rest came racing toward them, along with Haruko freeing herself from the scrap. "That was perhaps the best dogfight I had ever seen." Soos commented. "Yeah, you both totally went Red Wedding on each other!" Juan added excitedly. "As in murdering hundreds of innocents, including a few pregnant women and their unborn children?" Ezra bluntly replied adjusting his glasses, prompting the two boys to remain silent. "Yeah, let's just drop the slang thang." Juan announced and Jorge quietly nodded. "The emergency system has been activated." Jinyu informed her other self. "And there's nothing you can do to stop it." "Aw geez!" Haruko complained. "Damn, they're so sneaky. Those schwifty bastards." she remarked staring up at the sky. "This is all because you tried to tempt my son." Pacifica coldly responded. "That's right, Hakama tried to..." Arnold tried to speak up before Gwen finally began to rise from her slumber. "W-where did she come from? H-h-here comes Gwen." "What did Arnold do to her?" Juan asked. "I do not want to know." Jorge replied just as puzzled. "Yeah, let's just keep this an enigma til next time." a raccoon with a strange accent suddenly appeared behind them. "Hehehehe, most of the characters in this story are SOOOO stupid!" "W-what the hell, where did he come from?! We didn't see him at all throughout this entire chapter!" Jorge cried in shock over the raccoon. "Ah yes, I'd like you to meet Bawuu, my new pet raccoon, or so he calls himself." Ezra introduced Bawuu while he perched on his shoulder. "He just showed up to me and declared that we should live together, because he claims most of the animals on the island are imbeciles. And I have a feeling he'll barely add anything to our adventures going forward." "Well, guess we got no other choice everyone." Stan announced. "You're right Stanley, we'll have to search for the makers of the hat. And it's not from some chic fashion joint." Jinyu added. "I suppose I'll just have to bust on in." Haruko remarked knowing what their next objective was. "Right," the white-haired woman replied. "our objectives may be different, but our target is still one in the same." Haruko just stared up at the sky for a moment in silence when she finally revealed the name of that target. "Medical Mechanica."

AN: At long last, chapter 3 is done! Apparently I'm just as talented at procrastinating as I am with everything else I'm good at. Ooh speaking of which, still need to finally get back to work on Gravity Soul! Until we meet again some sunny day everyone!

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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One last thing that I forgot to add in the author’s notes of FF2 Chapter 2, I envision Ezra Chiu being played by Derek Stephen Prince, aka the voice of Uryu Ishida, Impmon, Vexen and Iggy.

#fooly falls 2: ride on shooting star #ezra chiu #derek stephen prince

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 2: Return of the Vespa Woman (originally posted on February 23, 2019)

AN: Sorry for the long wait my beloved audience, had some computer problems that needed fixing. While that was going on, I had already started work on the forthcoming third chapter titled "Beach Episodes for the Win!" so maybe expect that to come out sometime in March. But for now, let us finally return to the lives of Gwen & Tyrone Pines with our latest chapter. WKH VWRUB RI WKUHH NLGV DQG WKHLU IULHQGV' VXPPHU WKH OXVW D ELNHU KDV IRU D VSDFH JRG KHU RWKHU KDOI ZKRP VKH FRQVLGHUV D EXPPHU WKLV LV WKH PRPHQW HYHUBWKLQJ EHFRPHV RGG

Gwen slowly opened her eyes and discovered that she was in the middle of a field under a bright sun and blue sky, almost like she was in a storybook. "Where am I?" she wondered rubbing her furry head. 'Wait, fur?' she thought looking at her hand, or rather her paw before gazing at her reflection in a puddle. Somehow, she had been turned into a Calico kitten with her beanie cap and red flannel jacket still on, leading her to believe this was all a dream. "Turned into a cat. Can this get any weirder?" "There you are you lazy bum!" she heard her brother bark. Turning around, she found a dog that pretty much looked exactly like Tyrone, quasar T-shirt, fluffy hair, inexplicable bandage on his face and all. "I've been wondering where you were! Come on, the picnic's already underway!" "Picnic?" Gwen pondered before Tyrone dragged her away by the tail. She gazed upon the cartoon-like flora before the twins reached a beautiful park at the end of the field inhabited by animal versions of their family & friends, and then some. "Top of the morning to you children." a pink-scaled chameleon leaning on a yellow scooter greeted them. "Good day to you too miss." Tyrone replied before a group of four penguins led them to their loved ones. However unknown to them, the chameleon's benign expression turned into an evil grin. "Your family awaits children." one of the penguins stated politely gesturing to the Pines, who were also now animals. Dipper & Mabel were also dogs, Wendy was a cat, Pacifica as a pony with Arnold as a mouse on her back, Stan as a gorilla still in his wheelchair and Ford as an armadillo. "So glad you could make it you two." Dipper said tenderly licking their faces. "Yep, you're in for one jolly holiday!" Mabel cheerfully added. Just then, the penguins gathered together and performed a big dance number for everyone, to their applause. "Gotta love those penguins dude!" a bear version of Soos commented. Behind him were Melody as a kangaroo with Abby in her pouch, Ian as an elephant, Leia as a mongoose, Juan & Jorge as capybaras and Imelda as a mole. "My personal fave has to be Rico!" "Yep, nothing can spoil today now!" Stan exclaimed, but however he spoke too soon when the chameleon from earlier wheeled up behind the Pines on her scooter. "Someone's right behind me ready to spoil today, isn't there?" The others nodded before the chameleon stated "Flattery will get you nowhere." and she pulled out a sapphire-colored banjo to play. "Been quite a long while, hasn't it you filthy snake?!" Stan snarled getting up from his wheelchair to beat his chest. "Oh, my body!" "Of course it has Fezhead! Or I guess I should call you Spinster now since it has been twenty years." the chameleon remarked. "How old are you now, 78? 79?" "Seventy-nine, and still young enough to get back at you for what you've done to my family!" Stan shouted preparing for a fight, but the chameleon stopped him. "No no no, not a fight. Why don't we face off in something a bit more suitable for this opening segment?" "Like what?" Ford asked, fearing what's to come. "LIKE BASKETBALL!" the chameleon shouted tearing off her clothes to reveal a red and black uniform before the park turned into a big stadium; complete with a scoreboard, an audience of cheering fans, the works. "Greetings sports fans, I'm your lovable host here with what is sure to be a pulse-pounding match!" the leading penguin announced serving as commentator. "On one side of the court, we got our beloved Gravity Falls Gnomes!" The team, led by Stan and consisting of Gwen, Tyrone, Dipper, Mabel, Ford & Arnold were on one side of the court as they waved to the audience. "And on the other side is the return of the equally celebrated Forest Freaks led by Haruko Haruhara!" the second much taller penguin declared causing fans to roar even louder. "I did not consent to this!" Ian, as a member of the Forest Freaks alongside Leia, Juan, Jorge, Imelda and Haruko as captain, screamed amongst the cheering. "Now fans, it's time to come on and slam!" the smallest penguin announced in a high-pitched British accent which was followed by a fourth penguin shouting "KABOOM!" With that, the game finally began as much as the Gravity Falls Gnomes didn't want to. The Forest Freaks were absolutely clobbering them with over 9,000 points compared to their 1,006 despite only being ten seconds in. "What do we do now Stan?" Dipper asked getting tossed into a hoop alongside the ball, scoring the Forest Freaks another point. "The opposing team is just MURDERING us!" "I think I know how." Stan boldly stated beating his chest to signal Ford. "Sixer, bring me the secret stuff!" he commanded. "But Stanley, that would be cheating AND you would die!" the armadillo exclaimed before a mosquito with white hair and shades flew into view. "He's right Stanley, this could be a horrible idea!" "Outta they way you!" Haruko shouted swallowing the mosquito with her tongue. "Come on gramps, show me what you got!" she challenged while beginning to glow red. "Iiii'm waaaaaaiting!" "Give it to me now Ford!" Stan ordered holding out his large leathery hand. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Ford resigned handing his brother a water bottle labeled "Micheal's Secret Stuff", but with Michael hastily crossed out and replaced with Stan's name. Stan crushed the bottle in his gorilla hands and gulped down the water that spilled from it, causing him to grow larger & larger until he became a giant rampaging simian that wouldn't seem out of place with a lovely actress in his mitts. Haruko did the same as a result of swallowing the white-haired mosquito, only she turned into a gargantuan lizard that smelled of atomic energy. "Whoa, that's so awesome!" Tyrone cheered while the spectators ran for cover. "This cannot end well!" Ford added curling up into a ball and rolling away. The two foes roared at each other before Haruko breathed atomic fire that Stan tossed his fist at, causing a massive explosion to turn the colorful animal dreamworld into a greyscale wasteland. However, Gwen got back up after ducking away from the explosion to find the entire stadium reduced to nothing. Nothing except for the fallen gorilla corpse of her great-grunkle. "It was not the atomic explosion that took his life, 'twas beauty that killed the beast." one of the penguins mourned the demise of Stan as he and his three comrades revealed themselves to be alive. "What's going on?" Gwen cried as her horn began to act up again. "Is this another nightmare or maybe even a vision of what's to come?" "By my calculations, most likely the latter. Minus the basketball game." the tall penguin analyzed just as a rumbling sound was heard shaking the ground. The five discovered another large iron headed straight for them while the scarlet silhouette of a large bird flapped its wings above them. "Just like in my last nightmare." the Pines daughter muttered before the smallest of the penguins shoved her away. "Ms. Pines, it's been an honor." the four penguins solemnly stated with a salute before they were flattened by the iron. This is what caused Gwen to transform into her robot mode and take on the iron as the bird roared.

"Wake up sweetie!" Dipper cried shaking his slumbering daughter, now with a bandage on her forehead. "Should I find another horse head to scare her with?" Tyrone asked. "No, I don't want this to be a repeat of last time son." his father stated. "Big Tiny's son Medium went on a rampage that day." Just then, Gwen finally woke up and realized she was back to human form. "Tyrone, Daddy!" she exclaimed hugging her dad. "Thank goodness none of us are animals playing basketball that are killed by a nuclear explosion!" "Not even gonna ask." Dipper bluntly said sticking two unlit cigarettes labeled "Never knows best" in his mouth. "Maybe it's one of her nightmares!" Tyrone guessed just as they heard someone running a bath. "Who could that be?" "I'm standing right there." Wendy announced suddenly standing right behind her husband. "Wow, we didn't even need to mention you and yet here you are!" Dipper exclaimed. "But who else could be in the bathtub at this-oh no." "Oh no what dad?" Gwen asked before her father left the kids' bedroom. "Hold on a sec, I just realized who." he said marching down the upstairs hall to the bathroom and knocking on the door. "Can't a woman get some privacy?!" a familiar nasal voice shouted. "But then again, I on the other hand wouldn't mind." With a single groan, Dipper slammed open the door and his face turned an even brighter shade of red at the sight of Haruko Haruhara reclining in the bathtub while staring sensually at him. "Long time no see Takkun." "I thought we were past all that! You even called me Dipper when you first left!" the formerly young detective cried spitting out his cigarettes. "And why are you in my bathtub?!" "Just thought I needed one after my long trip back here. Care to join me?" Haruko proposed showing off her sudsy chest. "No thank you, but I still need to get ready anyway." Dipper declined squirting toothpaste on his toothbrush to begin his day before he was asked another question. "So, you finally swung the bat eh?" Dipper loudly spat out both his toothpaste and brush in response. "That again Haruko?!" he screamed slamming against the countertop of the sink. "Aw come on Dipper, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you found love!" the Vespa Woman clarified. "Though to be honest, I always thought you swung better with the blonde than Wendy." "Pacifica? Oh, she told Mabel that she swung the other way when we were all eighteen. The two of them adopted a son named Arnold." Dipper explained, which prompted Haruko to ask another question. "Oh yeah speaking of which, how's the rest of the fam doing?" "Wendy and I got married and are raising two beautiful children named Gwen & Tyrone." Haruko's former Takkun answered. "Gwen is a very smart and gentle girl but I wish weren't so distant from others. Maybe it's because of that hat she wears. And Tyrone is pretty much a younger version of both his aunt and mother, just a big ball of energy that can't be stopped." "And what of your grunkles?" the biker continued. "They've just gotten old and are still living at the Mystery Shack, though Stan is in a wheelchair being watched over by Soos and his family." the older Dipper added. "Which reminds me, I should really be getting there by now." "Let me take you, Vespa's out back." Haruko proposed beginning to get out of the tub. "Oh no, no no no!" Dipper cried fearing what to expect from her while her reflection looked on. "Do not do what I think you're going to do, especially since you're naked!" Pulling a shampoo hat from out of nowhere and placing it on Dipper's head, Haruko began fishing around his hair before she pulled another guitar out, just as large as the last one. "This is a 1967 model Mustang!" she gasped in awe. "MAMA LIKE!" "Heh, that's what she said." Dipper stammered woozily as he fell into a daze while Haruko departed, and her reflection stayed behind staring awkwardly. Minutes later, Wendy stepped in to find his unconscious body. "Dipper, some naked woman just ran out the bathroom with a Mustang!" she called. "You okay honey? Oh no! Tyrone, can you bring your mother the horse head?

"So tell me Miss, what's your name again?" Ford asked Jinyu in the kitchen as he lit up a cigarette. "Julia Jinyu. And I suppose you must be Stanford Pines, the man who wanted to change the world but instead fought the occult. Jinyu answered feeding Abby breakfast. "Interesting." Stanford responded writing on a notepad. "Now tell me, what's your business with running over my great-grandniece; apologizing for her still being alive, deciding to start working at the Mystery Shack and converting my old room into a living space for yourself?" "I simply came here on official business, preventing history from repeating itself by defending your family." the Bel-Air babe answered. "Wait just a sec," Ford muttered. "a guitarist runs over a young child with her vehicle and decides to move in with us as a maid. You wouldn't happen to know Haruko Haruhara, wouldn't you?" "Indeed I do. In fact-" Jinyu began before she was interrupted by Gwen, Tyrone & Wendy carrying a barely conscious Dipper into the kitchen. "F-Ford?" the father woozily called stabilizing himself on the table. "A-and you a-are?" "Remember children, beware the woman on the Ves-" Jinyu tried to warn the twins but was instead grabbed by the shoulder by a dazed Dipper. "Whatcha dooooin'?" he slurred sitting her back down. "Although it's nice you're sitting her down for my little survey, I think she was trying to warn them!" Ford exclaimed as Jinyu tried again while Gwen and Tyrone left for the gift shop. "Remember kids, the woman on the Vespa!"

Meanwhile in the shopping area of the Mystery Shack, it was business as usual. "You ever tried fasting until you're dead?" Juan asked while he, Jorge and Arnold sat around a coffee cup like a campfire. "Oh totally, didn't you remember when I went to the hospital for attempting that?!" Jorge answered. "Are you kidding?" Arnold shouted. "You could've really died!" "Don't be so milquetoast man, it's really uncool. Try and have some fun." Juan chided him. "Milquetoast, milquetoast! Toast doesn't taste good in mi-ilk!" the twins chanted pointing at him. "Quit it you guys! Maybe toast does taste good in milk!" Arnold whimpered before he ran out the door. "I'll prove it to all of you!" Just as Arnold left, Haruko suddenly barged in. "Hey everybody, it's your fave character!" she announced to the cheers of customers and a sitcom soundboard app on Juan's phone. "Works like a charm." An organ then started backing Haruko up as her clothes suddenly changed into priest attire and the spotlight shone on her. "The world you live in is now overflowing irresponsibly. No matter which direction you look, you'll see the world is full of those who defile other and their surroundings with selfish delusions!" she declared. "And I truly believe that this is solely the fault of the adults of this world and when I say that, I unfortunately include myself among them. I am so sorry. I cannot think like I used to! I can no longer continue. Puupipi." "Morning everyone!" Mabel greeted stepping into the room and noticing the sermon taking place. "Uh, did I run into the community center because their cult meetings are every Wednesday. Though thankfully no one's being sacrificed." "Even if I try to think what's best for this planet, I think about the mold I haven't noticed before or the hair that grows out of it!" the Vespa preacher continued. "I can't help but think about these things. World, universe. To be honest, I don't care! Because it's not actually my fault! Puupupu." The audience tearfully exchanged that last word with Haruko a few times before running up to embrace her while the kids looked on. "What is up with her?" Tyrone wondered. "Yeah, I mean no one would be that ridiculous to mention moles & hair in a speech about how idiotic the world is!" Jorge added drinking a bottle of sriracha sauce. "They'd be a complete nutcase!" "There there, you're all good." Haruko soothed the crowd. "Hey I got an idea, why don't we have a Disney-style musical number to cheer y'all up?!" "Can we sing Step in Time?!" Tyrone asked excitedly. "Sure, whatever you want sport." the Vespa Woman beamed putting on the music and clapping along. "Step in time, step in time! Come on mateys, step in time!" "Step in time! Step in time, step in time!" the chorus obeyed forming a kickline. "Step in time, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! All you gotta do is step in time!" "Link your elbows!" Tyrone cheered joining in on the number. "Link your elbows, step in time!” the backup replied while Mabel joined them. "Link your elbows, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! Link your elbows and step in time!" "What's going on?" Ian asked when he, Leia and their parents stepped into the room. "What's going on, step in time! What's going on, step in time!" the kickline exclaimed switching to a conga line. "Sounds like a party! Wait for me you guys!" Leia cried joining the dancers. "Wait for me, step in time! Wait for me, step in time!" "Sorry that I have to leave so soon, but I need to check out what's going on!" Dipper called stepping out the living area to find a musical number taking place, with Haruko leading the conga line wearing a sombrero & shaking maracas while Tyrone, Mabel, Leia, Juan, Jorge and Soos were among the line. "Why are we singing?" "Why are we singing, step in time! Why are we singing, step in time!" the singers repeated his question before they turned from a conga line to a riverdance just as Stan came wheeling in, which made Dipper say "Good morning Grunkle Stan!" "Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time! Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time!" the dance company repeated which prompted Stan to shout "What's all this?!" in shock. "What's all this, what's all this, what's all this!" "No, I'm being serious! Stop singing everything I say!" Stan added getting more frustrated. "Everything I say, step in-" Suddenly the elderly con-man whipped out a rifle and started opening fire, making everyone run around panicking. "Now whoever says step in time again is gonna have to pay the price!" the crippled grunkle threatened. "I'm not gonna point any fingers here, but I am pointing this at your fingers. And trust me when I say, you're gonna miss the middle one!" The dancers dispersed and most of them ran out of the hovel in a single file line while Stan angrily waved his firearm around. "That's right, keep running! And stay out!" he shouted slamming the door. "Can't believe that woman, she forced me to chase off potential customers." "Fezhead, it's been ages!" Haruko shouted happily. "Hey, did you gain weight, is that a new fez? Very snazzy on you!" Stan on the other hand just smacked her in the face hard with his tennis ball cane and sent her flying into the wall with a bloody face and some teeth missing. "What's up with that? Is that the way to treat an old friend?" "Old friends don't sacrifice family members to get it on with giant birds!" Stan screamed as loud as his geriatric vocal chords could take it. "There was this one time when Ford and I were forced to eat dead birds! AND THEIR GENITALS DIDN'T TASTE ANY GOOD!" "Hey chill out you two!" Mabel ordered trying to be a mediator between the great uncle and the bassist. "Now, I know Haruko may be a complete maniac that nearly killed us all, but let's focus on all her positive qualities and let bygones be bygones." "Yeah for example, I did give some important life lessons in my own bizarre fashion." Haruko added turning away from Stan with her hands behind her head and a satisfied grin on her face. "And she can be pretty reliable when the situation calls for it." Dipper agreed. "You can say that about her, right?" "Okay, I can give Raharu that." Stanley stated turning away as well, which sent chills down Haruko's spine. "H-h-how did you know?" she stuttered fearfully. "I overheard that other guitar lady say that regarding you, about how it could be your real name." the old man answered. "To be honest, I can relate to that." "Oh-ho my, look at the time! I gotta go...find a crate that'll take me to Abu Dhabi!" Haruko nervously fibbed before she jumped backwards out the window. However in the exact same amount of time, she jumped back inside in front of Gwen. "Hey Gwen, think you could find that Arnold kid? He left before I came in." She dove back out the window just as Jinyu stepped in. "That was her, the woman on the Vespa!" "You mean Haruko? Yeah, she's an absolute hellion but what's gotten you panicking?" Stan remarked. "Jinyu said she came here to defend us Stanley, and I think this is what she was talking about." Ford explained. "Why don't we take things somewhere more private?" "That sounds reasonable." Jinyu replied. "But what about the children?" she asked bringing up the twins. "Don't worry Jinyu, they're in good hands." Stan assured her. "Just as long as a certain someone doesn't creep on them." When the door shut, the kids were left alone in the gift shop with Wendy, Pacifica, Soos and Melody. "So any idea on where Arnold went?" Tyrone asked. "Well sometimes I see him walk to that new Little Asia place they've been building lately." Ian answered. "You know the one. They have food vendors, a karaoke bar, hot spring, basically all the stereotypical Asian tourist stuff." "And Professor Chiu is a pretty big part in helping create it!" Leia added excitedly. "Plus her dreamboat of a son Ezra!" "Does this mean we're going on a trip?" Tyrone chirped. "Woo, going Japanese baby!" Juan cheered. "And let's not try to be insensitive unlike last time." Jorge added. "I can still see the sumo yakuza crushing me between their stomachs when I close my eyes." "Great, I'll get my truck around and we can head off!" Wendy stated. "Hey Dipper, we're going to Little Asia! Do you and the others wanna come with?" "Can't right now honey, but we'll catch up with you!" Dipper replied walking downstairs with his sister, great-uncles and Jinyu into Ford's old room that the maid turned into her own. "All right Jinyu, we need to talk." "Yeah, we wants answers!" Mabel said shining a light in Jinyu's face. "While I wouldn't get them out of her like that," Ford replied pushing the light away. "there are some questions that need answering. Namely, where did you come from? What is your connection to Haruko? Why is her hair suddenly orange now?" "Me and Raharu? Okay then." Jinyu answered without missing a beat. "She and I are indeed related.”

The trip to Little Asia didn't take very long, but it did give Gwen time to think about her horn and her father's history with that woman before she spotted the robot that attacked her, Tyrone and Arnold now working as a crossing guard who gave the girl a friendly wave. "We're finally here!" Tyrone cheered when they finally reached Gravity Falls' newest tourism hotspot. Like it's namesake continent, there were brightly-colored signs, food stands all around and various places to hang out like a karaoke club at the center of it all. "Come on everyone, say it with me!" Juan shouted raising his hands like he just doesn't care; and he, Jorge and Tyrone cried "BANZAI!" before tilting to one side. "Let's net get too excited." Gwen stated hopping down from the logging truck. "We still need to find Arnold." "Hey, I can see Ezra and his mom over there!" Leia said pointing to Ezra Chiu, a skinny young man with short black hair wearing a white button-up shirt and glasses speaking with his mother Candy about additional plans for Little Asia. Suddenly Ezra noticed the kids and grimaced. "Oh, hello children." "What up hotstuff?" Leia flirtatiously greeted Ezra, to his displeasure. "I swear to God Leia, if you ask me out on another beach date and wear something insanely revealing again, I'm filing a restraining order!" Ezra complained before his mother put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Be nice my boy, they're family friends." "Affirmed mother." Candy's son groaned in defeat. "So what brings you to Little Asia everyone?" he asked with a fake smile. "We're looking for my cousin Arnold and it's been said he comes here a lot." Gwen answered. "Do you know where?" "Oh yes, he works as a waiter at the Bloated Dragon karaoke club." Ezra explained thumbing to that very building marked with a neon sign depicting an overstuffed dragon. "Though you should definitely watch your step in there since that's the favorite hangout for-" "The sumo yakuza, we know!" Jorge interrupted shivering in fear and trying to take his mind off that terrifying event. "Hey look, takoyaki!" he exclaimed pointing to a food truck manned by a familiar girl. "Sold by that cultist girl from earlier!" "What up kids, what poison would you like to pick today?" Haruko offered flaunting her goods in a pair of shorts and a crop top covered by an apron with her hair in pigtails. "And hello there there handsome!" "Hey, I called dibs you culinary transport wench!" Leia shouted shielding Ezra from the biker's advances. "Give me everything you've got!" Tyrone exclaimed slamming a wad of hundred dollar bills on the counter. "Oh-ho, someone's a big spender." Haruko chortled handing the boy all her stock. "Enjoy your street food, pyon!" "You do realize they literally have octopuses in them, right?" Juan asked before he got a takoyaki stuffed into his mouth. "Hey, these ain't half bad!"

While they continued searching for Arnold, the Pines and Ramirez families were given a tour of Little Asia by Candy & Ezra, seeing all the sights, eating the food and buying souvenirs. "What do you think, is it your color?" Pacifica asked her niece while she modeled a pink yukata with crescent moon patterns. "It's okay if you don't like it, there's this other Prussian blue one that's got sunflowers on them." "No, it's fine." Gwen muttered before Jorge kicked down a door with his new pair of geta. "Check out my rockin' new sandals!" he announced. "Definitely leagues more comfy than those old clogs!" Meanwhile Ezra rested in the hot springs, letting all his troubles waft away with the steam. That is, except for one trouble when Leia sat down beside him in the buff. "This is the life, eh Ez?" "Uh, shouldn't you have a towel on?" Ezra yipped in surprise at his admirer relaxing naked next to him. "I mean, it doesn't matter but it's still good manners!" "Aw come on honey, I'm an attractive girl with an attractive boy, both naked together." Leia stated before the half-Korean teen interrupted her. "If you're implying what I think you're implying, then no!" he shouted. "Can't we just hang out like normal teenagers without you advancing on me?" "Yeah, maybe you're right." the eldest Ramirez daughter realized. "Why don't we be just friends for a bit, if that makes you happy?" she offered. "That would be so much better." Ezra agreed. In the shopping district of Little Asia, Ian walked Abby out of a store with a straw hat on her head. "I don't know how many dollars is 5,000 yen, but I'm pretty sure I gave up a good portion of my college fund to get you that hat." he remarked. "That's okay big brother, because I got something for you too!" Abby revealed presenting her brother with a kabuki mask. "Hey, that's awesome! Thanks Abby!" "How have you not passed out from the amount of food you've eaten yet?!" Juan cried dragging an exhausted Tyrone by the arm while the other boy clutched his stomach with the other. "I won't give up just yet!" Tyrone declared raising a finger to the air before he started getting dizzy and fell down. "Okay, now I give up." "That reminds me, why haven't we given up on finding Arnold yet?" Imelda asked putting her hands on her hips. "Everyone seems more concerned about Little Asia itself than looking for him." "You do realize that we're now right in front of that Bloated Dragon place Ezra mentioned, right?" Juan pointed out gesturing to the marquee of the club. "I think Arnold works there." "Yeah, let's go inside and see!" Tyrone woozily said while getting up. "Are we finally going in there?" Gwen asked walking up to them in her pink moon yukata. "Yeah! And your new bathrobe looks nice." her brother answered complimenting her attire while opening the door.

"But through it all, when there was doubt!" a man with long black hair passionately sang My Way in a duet with another mustached man wearing glasses. "I ate it up, and spit it out!" the other man added just as loud. "The record shows, I took the blows!" the duo finished their number while the crowd cheered. "AND DID IT MY WAY!" "Thank you Curtis and Greg for that beautiful rendition of a Frank Sinatra classic!" the MC announced as the two men left the stage. "Now if anyone else would like to make a request, the suggestion box is open for all guests of the Bloated Dragon!" The Bloated Dragon itself looked very lively, filled with residents of Gravity Falls and tourists flooding the establishment. Off to the side was the bar where a dandy looking gentleman tended to it. "If you find any very rotund people in suit jackets, be sue to keep your eyes off them at all times." Jorge cautioned Gwen & Tyrone while making sure they did not grab the attention of the three sumo yakuza. One had blonde hair, blue sumo briefs and a white jacket. The second was Asian with red briefs and a grey jacket. The third one had dark skin with black briefs and a matching jacket. "Joseph Ramirez!" the Asian sumo yakuza yelled slapping his palm on the table. "You still owe us a great amount of chocolatey water as recompense for insulting our posteriors!" "Wait, did you call their-" Tyrone wondered before he was cut off. "You two just sit at the bar while I settle things." he informed the twins as he stepped away from them. "Konichiwa my friends! How's it going tonight?" "Good day to you children. What shall you have?" the effeminate bartender asked pouring a few drinks. "We'll have two iced teas sir." Gwen quietly ordered. "And I'll take mine in a dirty glass!" Tyrone added to the admiration of the barkeep. "Oh-ho my, someone's playing tough!" "I'm not playing tough, I am tough!" Tyrone shouted squinting one eye and spitting into a bucket. "Aw, you're just precious sonny." the mixologist said patting the boy on the head before serving the kids their iced teas. "Here's your tea children. Drink up now!" "Why does he think I'm not tough? I remember when I tried to go all Schwarzenegger on that robot that tried to kill us and Arnold!" Tyrone complained sipping his tea. "Maybe it's because deep down, you're only acting that way to seem mature in front of others while not wanting to grow up." a biker sitting next to them fiddling with a bowl of mixed nuts answered. "Tarot Turner, at your service." "Is that like a stagename or something?" Tyrone asked shaking Turner's hand. "Indeed it is. My real name is Timothy." Turner stated. "If my name didn't tell you yet, I'm a fortune teller. With a literal grasp of my client's hand, I can get a whole lotta info on them!" "What kind of info?" Gwen asked finishing her iced tea. "Let me show you." Tarot answered taking the girl's hand, and with a small glint in his eyes began listing off various things about her. "Your name is Gwendolyn Kristen Pines, age 12, birthdate February 21, 2020. Your birthstone is amethyst and star sign Pisces. Despite your emotionless exterior, deep down lies an intelligent, loving young woman. You have a Little Dipper birthmark on your forehead similar to your father, who's own birthmark is the Big Dipper. You were only ten years old when you had your first p-" "Hey, she wanted you to show her what you've got; not be a total creep!" Tyrone shouted defensively. "Don't get so wound up, it's normal for girls. If you were one, you'd understand better." Turner commented. "Speaking of which..." He took Tyrone's hand and began listing his information. "Your name is Tyrone Filbrick Pines, age 9, birthdate June 23, 2023. Your birthstone is pearl and star sign Cancer. You are an energetic lad who will not hesitate to protect his loved ones. A lover of the great outdoors with a natural talent for knitting inherited from your paternal aunt." "What do those say about us mister?" Gwen asked as Turner let go of Tyrone's hand. "Well here's something I found within the both of you, the fear of getting older." Tarot stated. "Now before you ask what children your age wouldn't; let me explain further, especially to you Gwen. You have recurring nightmares of losing everyone from your friends to your family and eventually yourself." "Yeah, she kinda thinks too far into the future a lot." Tyrone replied. "That is very good to know children." Turner responded. "And speaking of the future, CAN SOMEBODY TURN OFF THAT BITCH OF A PRESIDENT?!" he suddenly screamed at the television above them where President Maki Kitaki was making a flowery yet harsh speech. "SERIOUSLY, POLITICS ARE CORRUPT ENOUGH BUT DO WE NEED AN OLD HAG LIKE HER RUNNING THINGS?!" "I got it!" Tyrone chirped throwing his dirty glass at the television, causing the screen to break and fall to the ground. "He said turn it off, but breaking it works too." the bartender quipped. "Oy vey. Just when the giant carrot finally got chopped, we get a shriveled up prune to replace him." "Rumor has it Senator Gideon is plotting to impeach her and become prez when the time comes." Turner declared with a confident grin. "Hey I hate to be rude, but what's all these political jokes got to do with our futures?" Tyrone replied curiously just as a door beside the countertop opened, and Arnold stepped out with a plate of wineglasses in his hands. "Oh hey, there's Arnold!" "Here-here are your drinks sirs." Arnold whimpered serving the wines. The three criminals glared at their orders before the Asian sumo took his glass. Mere moments after taking a sip, he loudly spat the beverage in the boy's face. "This is not what I ordered! For this great dishonor to our organization, you shall suffer our girth!" "No Tubby-dono, yamate!" Arnold cried in fear while the black-clad sumo picked him up by the arms and Tubby unbuttoned his jacket to reveal a large imprint shaped like Jorge on his wide stomach. "Please have mercy on the guy my friends!" Jorge begged. "Let me take his place! I've already survived that belly, I can do it again!" "You stay outta this man!" the blonde sumo ordered preparing to crush Arnold. "Is everyone just going to stand and watch?" Tyrone shouted ready to defend his cousin when he was stopped by the barkeep. "I'm sorry young man, but this is a regular occurrence with the sumo yakuza here." he said. "But thankfully no one's died of suffocation! Yet." Gwen however just stood & watched as Arnold was tortured by the obese gangsters and began having visions of her cousin falling victim to the atomic explosion from her nightmare. Her beanie began trembling as she dropped to her knees moaning in agony. "Gwen!" Tyrone exclaimed concernedly. "I see something is wrong with your sister!" Turner added just as worried for the girl. "Is there a doctor in the house?!" he called out for a doctor as one rose up from his table to declare "I am not a doctor!" "Well, we tried." the barman said with a shrug. Gwen continued screaming before her expression turned from pain to rage at the yakuza. "Leave him alone!" she screamed at the two sumo crushing him between their bellies. "Look at her. For a girl so little, she seems so strong." Tubby remarked dropping the boy while he and his compatriot bowed in respect. "May good fortune be unto you." "This is much like what I said about your brother!" Tarot exclaimed. "Deep down, you care for your family and fear losing them as you get older!" "Y-you saved my life." Arnold stuttered in amazement. "T-thank you so much!" He burst into tears hugging Gwen, who then collapsed in his arms. "OMG, are you okay?!" "Don't fret kid. Just get her changed into regular clothes, put her behind the counter and call your families." Tarot advised helping the girl up.

"We came as fast as we could!" Leia shouted barging into the Bloated Dragon with Ezra, her siblings and the parents behind her. "I had to give up some bonding with Ezra not involving me crushing on him for this!" "It's all right milady, your friend is currently being tended to behind the bar." the barman stated tossing out an old ice pack in favor of a new one. "Would you be willing to assist?" "You'll be okay Gwen, just lie down and rest." Tarot soothed Gwen who lied down with the biker's jacket over her like a blanket. When she finally woke up, she moaned for a bit before seeing Tyrone & Arnold happy that she was awake. "Guys? What happened?" "You fell down after standing up to those two sumo guys while your hat was being all weird again!" Tyrone explained helping her up. "Yeah, it was really awesome how you stood up for me there, even if you didn't realize it." Arnold added. "Just goes to show how inseparable we are." "Yeah, we're an invincible trio!" Tyrone cheered victoriously pumping his fists in the air while Arnold smiled & laughed and Gwen just grinned. "AAAAND CUT!" a familiar voice exclaimed ruining the pleasant feel-good mood. Suddenly the spotlights over the stage shone on Haruko, now speaking into a rolled-up magazine like a movie director. "That was just perfect! Tres bien, bravah, truly Oscar-worthy!" "She with you?" the bartender asked. "Unfortunately yes." Ian replied. "Everyone take five! We'll start on the next scene in a bit!" the Vespa Woman directed tossing the magazine away to use the bathroom. Juan and Jorge immediately ran up and started pounding the door. "Hey, open up!" Juan shouted. "We know you're still in there! Come on bro, assume the Z-pose!" The brothers shaped their arms in the image of the letter Z at the door before Haruko exited. "Can't a girl go to the bathroom in peace?" she mused amusedly. "Let me guess, is this how far that stupid T-pose has come? I bet you're gonna rewind to A and go all the way to S." "Just tell us Raharu, or Haruko or whatever you call yourself!" Pacifica shouted while her face turned red in irritation. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" "Hm, tough number. But would a rap number suffice?" Haruko answered dropping a suggestion into the box to drop some beats. "Wait, what?" said a confused Tarot while the biker took the mic. "You got no dreams of your own, so you help your friends with theirs, yo." Haruko began rapping. "Uh, you say you're helping, who is it that gains, huh? Is it your girl or a personal companion?" "What does this song about the dreams of your friends have to do with this?" Soos inquired. "Let's get scratchin'!" a DJ shouted playing his turntable. "You got no life plans, say you got no dreams! So you help your friend with nosy schemes!" the woman on the Vespa continued. "Your ego's just playing, that's what I'm saying! You're like a toaster, useful as a poster! Can't find the one thing that matters the mosta!" "Would any of you like me to take your hands and read fortunes tonight while this is going on?" Tarot offered extending his fingerless gloved hand. "Sure, I got nothing better to do." Ian accepted. "Besides, this has been a day full of musical numbers that'll probably never be spoken of again." "It's a night to go dancing girl! Yeah that's right, I mean fighting girl!" Raharu declared continuing her inexplicable song. "That's the trend, I got no HQ and I got no friends. Beating up the robots like laying ten. Alone in this battle and I see no end!" The music began to reach its climax. "Communication is nothing girl! And transmission is nothing girl! I'm afraid of the big man girl. COME ON, FREESTY-" Suddenly she was interrupted by Jinyu and the Pines crashing through the club's roof on her Bel-Air, now turned into a giant robot. "I finally found you!" the maid declared glaring at Haruko. "Yeah, the jig is up Raharu! Now let the kids go!" Stan added fiercely. "Wait, is that you Tubby? How's Jackson doing?" "Father is still serving in prison." Tubby answered preparing to leave. "Well tell him I said hi and that he can burn in Hell when it's time to visit!" the old man called to the sumo as his gang departed. "And as for you!" "Daddy!" Tyrone shouted rushing to his father with Gwen behind him. "Kids, I'm so glad she hasn't hurt you yet!" Dipper weeped with joy hugging his children. "It's okay Dad," Gwen said. "she just sang a rap song that barely had anything to do with our situation." "Mommy!" Arnold bawled rushing into Mabel's arms. "I nearly got killed by gangsters and Gwen became really unwell!" he cried to his mother. "It's alright little guy, I'm here." Mabel soothed her nervous son. "I'm here." "Pardon me for being rude, but what the hell is going on here?" the bartender asked. "Like, was this lady with the guitar here the entire time and why did this weaponized Chevrolet crash through my roof?!" "Looks like you're in need of some required reading." the orange-haired guitarist stated dropping a copy of the entire previous Fooly Falls and the previous chapter of this sequel before the barman. "How charming, a little biography." he remarked beginning to read. "His eyebrows taste like what now?!" "Now simmer down everyone. I'm sure there's a way we can resolve this without anyone getting harmed." Tarot stated getting between the two women. "That reminds me." He took Arnold's hand and began reading him. "Your name is Arnold Walter Pines; age 10, birthdate May 25, 2022. Your birthstone is emerald and star sign Gemini. Your anxiety, nervousness and worrying for others are often the first traits that come to mind when talked about. However, you are very quick-witted, compassionate and willing to help others when there's no other options." "It worked like a charm on all of us too." Juan stated. "Hey Ian, do you think me, Jorge and Leia act the way we do is because we're afraid to grow up?" "Now that you think about it, I think Imelda and I may be acting too old for our age." Ian answered. "But Abby's pretty okay compared to us, since she's only four." "Shut up and let's cut to the chase," Haruko interrupted everyone's conversations. "who are you?" "You can't pretend you don't know me, Haruha Raharu." Jinyu growled. "Rue the day I met you." the Vespa rider rolled her eyes. "You can rue all you want, but you can't escape me!" the maid continued, which prompted her rival to start looking like she was done with everything and muttered "Meter-maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus." "Cause I know all this is an act!" Julia stated. "You need me, you're not a lone wolf!" "Loners are-" Haruko began but then stopped herself. "Oh wait, I lost the game." "This is no time for arguing you two! Just make peace with one another and, I don't know, chill on the beach in Tahiti? I hear it's a magical place!" Mabel suggested attempting to find harmony between the two women. "I see how it is." Jinyu said. "Then we'll just have to use force!" The arm of Jinyu's transforming car grabbed Gwen and held her hostage in front of her counterpart. "Huh, that's how you wanna do things?" Haruko sneered. "This is a matter between you and me!" Jinyu answered. "So don't lay a hand on her or her family!" "But it's fine for you to use a big robotic hand?" Haruko responded with a grin before Dipper stopped everything. "No, us Pines have known her for far longer Jinyu! Let me handle her and keep my daughter safe!" he commanded waving his hand around before summoning the very same Rickenbacker that he and Mabel were left with. "Remember this old thing?" "You still have it? Aw, you're such a sweetie-pie Takk-" Haruko cooed and was promptly greeted with a guitar to the head. "Oh I see!" she cried whipping out the Gibson EB-0 she left Gravity Falls with and the 1967 Model Mustang she pulled out of Dipper earlier. "Show me how far you've come big boy!" "All right, place your bets everyone!" the bartender announced setting up a betting ring while Dipper and Haruko took to the skies. "Who shall be tonight's victor: our mystery rapper, her apparent old friend with a Rickenbacker or the maid and her Cybertronian buddy?!" "Go get 'er Dipper!" Stan cried slapping a large wad of cash on the table as the patrons began cheering and the Pines watched with worry.

"Hafta say Pine Tree, you haven't changed a bit!" Haruko shouted wielding the twin guitars in combat against Dipper. The two of them hovered over Little Asia in their clash and their instruments collided. "Whatever happened to that double-necked one you left me with?" Dipper asked. "Spoilers squirt!" his fellow guitar wielder cried before she was met with a guitar head to the face and sent flying. "YAAAAAA-HOO-HOO-HOOOOOOEY!" "Quick, after them!" Ian commanded as Jinyu's Bel-Air followed the two throughout Little Asia. "Damn it all, where did they go?!" Ezra added in irritation before spotting Haruko flying backwards from being smacked in the face. Suddenly, they stopped in front of the food truck which was now run by a rather unlucky passerby. "I suppose you're another victim of hers?" "She forced me to run this place without my consent after bashing my head in with her bass!" the young man running the truck whimpered sticking a squirt gun on the counter. "Then this weird little water gun popped out before she said I wasn't good enough! And what's worse, this truck has nothing to sell!" he explained. "At least it's still better than being forced by my abusive father into piloting a giant robot powered by my mother's soul and getting horny around three hot chicks who don't care for my well-" "Yeah we don't care! Bye!" Stan shut the man up and cuing the car to keep driving. "Aw man. At least you still care about me, right random old man?" the reluctant food trucker asked the old man in the eyepatch. "Uh hey, earth to uh, can I call you Eyepatch?" "She's got tons of boundless energy like a shooting star!" Eyepatch commented in amazement. "Speaking of which, has that contact been found yet?" he asked the other man in the cap. "Yeah, he should be arriving soon." After KO'ing Haruko, Dipper took a moment to collect himself on a nearby rooftop. He panted harshly after such an equally harsh face-off and then smiled, knowing that hopefully his family would finally be safe from her. Until he saw a familiar twinkle of light in the distance followed by a certain girl surfing on one of her Mustangs in a bunny suit. "Oh goddamnit." "DAICON THIRTY-THREE!" Haruko screamed aiming her other guitar like a rocket launcher that she fired at her ex-Takkun. Fortunately for Dipper, it didn't hit him in the face. But rather, in his groin as he let out a high-pitched shriek and was sent blasting off the building. "S-she hit me in the dick." he squeaked in pain after landing on the ground while Jinyu's convertible rolled up beside him. "Why?! Why did she hit me in the dick?" "Oh quit your squealing kid and get back up there." Stan ordered as his great-nephew got up while clutching his unmentionables. "No, let him rest Mr. Pines." Jinyu stated taking up arms. "It's my turn." "Well, have it your way." Haruko snarked hovering above them before she spawned a leash to capture Arnold with and spun him around like a lasso. "LASER BEAM!" she cried tossing him at the back of the car, making it tip over and giving her a chance to hit it with her guitar. "You can't escape me!" The car fell to the ground causing Arnold to fly upward, screaming all the way. "Arnie!" Gwen called for her cousin. The two women went at it glowing red and blue respectively while clashing instruments. "Take this!" Haruko shouted coated with red energy while she fought Jinyu's blue aura. "Get her Jinyu!" Ford cheered the maid on. "You've become close to her just like Raharu and I were, haven't you?" Stan inquired. "Talk about history repeating itself, though thankfully she won't betray us for that Atomsk guy." "Okay, maybe I have Stan. But there's still more I want to know about her and Raharu!" Stanford answered. "Perhaps at some point I should hook them up to Project Mentem. Dipper and Ian have been helping me fix it up and make it a more basic memory reader." "You're going to make the same mistake again?! There's no light at the end of this tunnel, just give it up already!" Jinyu cautioned while the duo's guitar necks collided. "No way Jose!" Haruko responded pulling Arnold up by his leash and preparing to beat him. "The bases are all loaded! AND IT'S A LINE DRIVE!" A bulge emerged from Arnold's forehead, causing the robot that had menaced him last chapter to emerge while its meal it was having with Eyepatch was interrupted. "AAAAND PLAY BALL!" the Vespa Woman screamed sending the machine flying towards her rival. "Agh, but haven't you already been playing ball!?" Jinyu groaned in frustration blocking the robot jabbing its legs at her. "Come on! You know you're not going to reach him like this, don't you?!" Haruko just snickered before forcing the automaton to deal a nasty blow that sent Julia crashing into an abandoned part of Little Asia. Meanwhile her car sputtered to life and tossed Gwen into the driver's seat before preparing to take off. "Hey, wait for me!" Tyrone shouted dragging himself into the conflict by jumping the vehicle as it turned into a battleship complete with cannons everywhere. As soon as Haruko and the robot were in its line of sight, the Bel-Air began opening fire while doing a barrel roll, much to Gwen's fright and Tyrone's excitement. "THIS IS TOTALLY WICKED!" Tyrone screamed elatedly while the vehicle continued firing and chased Haruko throughout Gravity Falls's personal Chinatown. "What are you all doing?!" Ezra stamped his foot in fury at the damage being caused to the tourist attraction his mother helped work so hard on before Leia put a comforting hand on his back, causing him to blush. "Don't touch me like that you lovesick fool!" "You can't do this alone, you know you can't reach him without me!" Jinyu cried after hopping on the hood of her flying car. "No need to peepee in your panties!" Haruko jeered in response. "The reason you know this is because you and I are one!" Julia added, which lead to Haruko commanding the machine to form a drill that dashed toward the transforming car, and the latter machine gave it a hard punch. In the struggle however, the car was badly damaged as well and exploded into light. "KIDS!" Dipper and Wendy cried for their young. But just then, the light coming from the Bel-Air formed various floating needles that circled Haruko & Arnold. "One, ten, hundred, a thousand!" the Vespa Woman cackled arrogantly hitting the needles. "They call me the infamous Flaming Slugger!" As Arnold was unfortunately caught in the crossfire and electrocuted by the needles' laser beams, Jinyu backflipped to the kids still in her car. "Gwen, your family and I warned you and your friends not to get involved with that woman. She will only use you for her own benefit." she explained. "Worst case scenario, you could die." "Could die?" Gwen gasped turning to her brother. "Yeah, that could potentially happen." Tyrone commented while the twins watched Haruko. "And I don't think we'll go out being awesome like in all those Japanese shows or come back to life within a few days like in the comics." "Hey batter batter batter!" she chanted while Arnold continued crying out in pain from electric shock. "We gotta do something to save Arnie Gwen! I don't think being tossed around on a leash while being electrocuted is a manly way to die!" Tyrone began panicking but his older sister gave no reply. She continued to stare at the orange-haired woman continuing to torment Arnold while seeing images from her nightmare of the day and felt what seemed like an aneurysm. "Gwen?!" Jinyu & Tyrone said in unison as the girl's cap began glowing. She then finally screamed as the horn she kept hidden under a bandage on her forehead jutted out from the roof of the car. It could be seen from everywhere in Little Asia, even from a rental tuktuk that refused to work with Dipper & Mabel and their grunkles while they tried to race for the kids. "Come on you damned rental car, let us save our family!" Dipper groaned in anger before the sirens of Medical Mechanica sounded. "Uh, kids? Do you hear that?" Stan butted in. "Oh good grief, it's happening again!" Mabel exclaimed sticking her head out the window of the auto-rickshaw to see what was now happening. "No Gwen!" Jinyu cried as the horn of Dipper's daughter began pulling her through the roof and glowed a bright purple. Scrap metal from across the entire Roadkill County started floating off the ground and towards the girl. "No way, she overcame the enzyme inhibitor?!" the maid gasped. "Anemonemome-what now?" Tyrone asked clinging onto Jinyu's back. "Inhibition?" Haruko added just as confused while the metal poured into Gwen's horn and made an explosion that spread far above Little Asia. When the dust settled, there was a giant crater where Gwen once was and out of it came a tiny robot that looked just like her. "Huh? What-what-what is that, nyah?" Haruko meowed descending to the ground to examine the robot Gwen. While the woman watched it, the other Pines finally arrived in the tuktuk at the crater. "Gwen?!" Dipper panicked bursting from the rental vehicle to find Haruhara in front of a gynoid resembling her daughter. "What did you do to her Raharu?!" "Me? I didn't do nuttin'!" Raharu defended herself before the little machine touched her chest. "No touchy." Another explosion came, this one sending Haruko flying and everyone in complete awe. The robot stumbled over and flew to the woman with a singular muscular arm to punch her with. It then punched itself in the face, causing it to form into a blob that then formed Gwen with blood squirting out her head. "Gwen!?" Dipper and Jinyu exclaimed in concern for the girl while Haruko finally woke up. "What just happened?" she muttered falling headfirst to the ground. "Don't worry Arnold, I got ya!" Stan shouted trying to break his great-grandnephew's fall, but instead found his ex-partner in crime crashing onto his lap while Ford caught the boy. "AUGH, MY PELVIS!" "Gwen, Gwen?!" the maid muttered trying to wake the girl up. "Tyrone, Mom & Dad, Aunt Mabel, Arnold..." Gwen mumbled gazing at her family as they tried to help her cousin recover. Jinyu whistled, motioning for the needles to fuse into her car that she and Ford tossed the kids into before it turned into a makeshift hospital bed. "Don't worry, you'll recover in a few hours. You did a good job but-" "Hold it right there!" Haruko interrupted her other half with Stanley's tennis ball tipped walking stick in hand. "Now matter how you slice and dice it, those three are mine." Gwen began to wake up and found Arnold next to her while the rest of their friend circle racing to their side. "Holy rigatoni you guys, did you see what Gwen just did there?!" Jorge shouted excitedly. "I mean first all this metal came from across the county and it looked like she was gonna turn into a big Sentai robot, but then she turned into a little bot that looked just like her!" As Jorge continued babbling, Gwen weakly stared at the upside down Arnold. "You look terrible." he said laughing weakly. "You look terrible too." Gwen replied beginning to laugh as well. "We all look terrible!" Tyrone shouted getting between the two. "Well, I'm pretty okay but let's fix that." He tried to make himself look just as banged up as his relatives by rubbing some dirt on his face. "Much better." The three kids laughed in the Bel-Air while the others looked on. "Makes me long for the days when I was an innocent youth just like all of you." Ezra lamented longing for the good old days. "Well, time for me to find Mom and tell her what happened." he stated preparing to walk away before he turned to find Leia blowing him a kiss. "Neo salanghaneun babo." "Those three are really close, aren't they?" Haruko remarked gazing upon this touching scene alongside Dipper. "Thick as thieves ever since they were small." Dipper responded, which prompted him to ask her a question. "Speaking of which, why did you ever come back to us in your search for him?" he asked. "There are tons of other impressionable youths in the world for you to harass! In fact, don't you have a family of your own; what about your home planet?" The Pines father's inquiry managed to make Haruko surprisingly nervous for once as she turned away with a scowl and tears in her eyes. "Was there anyone you cared for that felt the same to you, ever?!" "Rick." Haruhara muttered under her breath clenching her fist. "What was that?" Dipper asked one more time which prompted Haruko to smack him in the face with the Mustang she pulled out of him. "That's none of your business you baka!" she screamed harshly mounting her Vespa. "You can keep that Mustang, now leave me alone!" She sped off in a huff while Mabel, Stan, Ford, Jinyu and the kids appeared behind him. "What's her problem?" Tyrone asked. "I don't know. I just asked if there was someone who ever loved her back and she just smashed my face." Dipper answered. "I don't think anyone ever has." "I can see why." Stan scoffed making Jinyu smack him on the head. "Can you be more sensitive Mr. Pines?" she scolded him. "What did Raharu say Dipper?" "I could barely hear her, but I think she mentioned someone named Rick." Dipper stated, which made Ford freeze up before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh for the love of God." the old scientist muttered frustrated. "Something the matter Ford?" Mabel asked her great uncle. "It's nothing everyone. I'll see you back at the Shack." Ford answered racing away from the others, the only thing he could hear from them was Tyrone explaining how he, Juan & Jorge were going to teach Arnold how to be a man. When he got far away from his family, Ford silently pulled a picture of himself with another elderly scientist with oddly grey skin, light blue hair with a matching colored unibrow and some strange fluid staining his lower lip out of his pocket. "Of course it would be you Sanchez." he sighed. "Maybe you're the reason why Raharu clicked so much with Stan in the past." "Something the matter sir?" the voice of a man in a suit with glasses and a stubble asked. "When did you get here?!" Ford stammered in shock. "About an hour ago." the man answered extending his hand. "Tsukata Kanda of the Department of Interstellar Immigration." "Stanford Filbrick Pines." Ford introduced himself and the two shook hands. "So, you know about Raharu as well?"

At last, chapter 2 is done! I may have had those bad computer problems earlier this month, but thankfully my dad passed down his old laptop to me and now I'm back in business! But before we all part, I'd like to just list off what Tarot Turner read about the Ramirez kids. Ian: Age 17, birthdate April 5, 2015. Birthstone: diamond, star sign: Cancer. A natural born leader who has a habit of being overly expressive, especially in his hands. Despite sometimes being impulsive and impatient, he remain a gentle soul and compassionate older brother. Leia: Age 15, birthdate July 13, 2017. Birthstone: ruby, star sign, Aries. She presents herself as a fun-loving, competitive girl but deep down, she possesses some self doubt on what she wants to do with her life. Juan & Jorge: Age 11, birthdate November 10, 2021. Birthstone: topaz, star sign: Scorpio. To say they love sticking out amongst the crowd would be saying something! They are fascinated by ridiculous outfits as they are by manliness, yet they believe they can never be true men themselves. Imelda: Age 7, birthdate January 7, 2025. Birthstone: garnet, star sign: Capricorn. Fussy and focused to a fault, Imelda sets up this image of a mature little girl but still internally wishes to act like a normal child. Abby: Age 4, birthdate September 29, 2028. Birthstone: sapphire, star sign: Libra. Contrary to her family, Abby has yet to shown any inner turmoil and remains a cheerful girl who looks up to her older siblings. She shows a particular attachment to Imelda because of how much she watches over her. And that should be it! See you all next chapter! Oh, this was a long one.

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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It has been decided!

The most popular choice for the title of Fooly Falls 2 has been chosen!

And by chosen, I mean I asked a few real-life friends of mine what they liked and it was agreed that they liked......

Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star!

Coming soon to a website near you!

#gravity falls #flcl #fooly falls #fooly falls 2: ride on shooting star

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andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

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Fooly Falls 2 Chapter 6: Ride on Shooting Star (originally posted on June 25, 2019)

AN: Parting is such a sweet sorrow as they always say. Welcome my friends to the final chapter of Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star, where we'll have to say goodbye to Gwen, Tyrone, Arnold, Haruko, Jinyu, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Ford and all the others. It's certainly been a fun ride with laughs, tears and Rick & Morty references all around, but all good things must come to an end.

D JDODFWLF SKRHQLA WRZHUV DERYH

RQH JLUO ZDQWV WR VKRZ LW KHU ORYH

EXW LW ZLOO FRPH DW WKH FRVW RI VR PDQB OLYHV

DQG VKH'OO ILQDOOB NQRZ KRZ WR FUB

"What's going on?! What is this?" Gwen asked as Atomsk's crimson hue began to wash all over the Oregon town while she came face to face with Haruko, who was sadistically ecstatic to see him again. "It's here, it's here! IT'S FINALLY HERE!"

"So wait, is that the big bird Haruko is constantly on about?" Tyrone asked his great-grunkle Ford. "It must be. Who else could give off energy that insane?!" Stanford exclaimed shielding his eyes. "We have to split up everyone! Juan, Jorge, Wendy, you go find a way to stop this chaos! Ezra, get Pacifica, Soos, Melody & Abby to safety at the Mystery Shack! The rest of us will-"

Ford didn't have enough time to give further instructions before Haruko smacked her bass on the coaster tracks and making them contort into the shape of a birdcage that she stood proudly atop of.

"Hop on my chair everyone, we're going up!" Stan commanded. Tyrone, Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Kanda, Ian and Leia clung onto his flying wheelchair when Leia felt Ezra's hand touch her shoulder. "Something up Ez?" she asked Candy's son before he grabbed her hand. "If either of us don't make it out alive, I just want you to know," Ezra confessed. "that yes. I did indeed find you attractive in that bathing suit."

The two teens kissed each other on the lips while Ian and Tyrone watched proudly. "My man." the pair declared in unison. "One last kiss in the middle of the apocalypse before the heroine goes off to help save the world. That sounds like a good scene for a post-apocalyptic romance." Ian muttered to himself. "Kinda like that old zombie movie."

Meanwhile, Gwen clung onto the giant birdcage still angry at Haruko when her newfound mechanical half began reacting to Medical Mechanica. The factory and the theme park castle emitted red energy waves that vibrated all the way to the cage, causing Atomsk to appear and begin absorbing everything in its path.

"Are you satisfied now?" Gwen asked finally reaching Haruko. "All this! This is what you wanted, right? Your dream's being fulfilled, so just go back and leave us alone! And give Arnold back. Please."

"And if you don't wanna leave, I'll make you leave myself!" Stan snarled catching up to her great-great niece with the others clinging onto his futuristic wheelchair. "Ford, gimme the formula!" he ordered his brother. "But I haven't even finished mixing yet! It's still highly experimental so it could kill you!" Ford exclaimed stirring his superhuman formula in its beaker with a popsicle stick. "Or give you that bad stomachache I've talked about earlier. Who knows?"

"Oh Gwennie, didn't I teach you anything?" the Vespa Woman mockingly scolded the younger girl. "Give this back! Give that back! Oh give it back please, because it's all about what I want! I want everything to be mine! Give it to me! More! You're like a child throwing a tantrum. You think you can get things by asking, that if you're crying and stomping on the floor, people will simply give you what you want."

"Look who's talking rosado-scalped broad!" Stan jeered coming to Gwen's defense. "Say that again Fezhead." Raharu snarled back. "LOOK. WHO'S. TALK. ING." Stan repeated very slowly, putting extra emphasis on his wrinkled lips. "Instead of bitching and moaning until you get what you want, you instead commit full-blown genocide so that you can have a bird put his spirally dick into your honeypot."

"If I can't just ask, what should I do?!" Gwen cried pounding her fist on the ground. "Hand it over." Haruko suggested holding out her hand. "If you want something you don't have, then you must hand over whatever you do hand. That's called balance."

"You're making a deal?" Gwen wondered. "My dad has bad experiences with making deals." she added. "Don't worry squirt, just give your power to me and the status quo will be god again." Haruhara affirmed. "Is that your final answer?" Gwen continued, and Haruko just smirked. "You're responsible for your own responses."

"Despite what you think, we all learned something." Gwen declared standing up. "It's time to stop acting childish, open ourselves up to others, let old grudges go, build our own purposes in life, be more patient, love who we are and not let negativity catch up to us. And that's why, I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE IT!"

"YOU GET A GOLD STAR!" Haruko declared with a snap of her fingers when she was met with a punch to the face from Gwen while red energy burst from the younger girl's head. "That's it, give it to me!" Haruko exclaimed swiftly dodging all of Gwen's attacks. "More! More!"

"I think Gwennie might need our help. Ford, gimme the formula now!" Stan shouted to his brother. "Okay fine, but don't say I didn't warn you!" Ford resigned dropping the vial in the con-artist's hand. The old man just gazed at the beaker in his palm for a few precious seconds before smashing it in his grip and chugging down the fluid within. Stan felt something change within his elderly body, and he was loving it. "Time to swat some wasps, SUPER STAN STYLE!"

Bursting out of his wheelchair, Stan roared at the top of his lungs while his muscles bulked up, his pupils turned pure white, his whitening hair dying itself golden brown while growing down to his waist and his eyebrows becoming completely nonexistent. "Now, let's finish what I started last chapter!" he roared zooming towards the two fighting girls and punched his former friend in the face, sending her flying into the mountainside. "You wanna fight now?!"

"COME ON!" Haruko screamed charging at her ex-partner with her Mustang in hand and the pair clashed. "I ain't letting you take Atomsk away from me you old hag!" she shouted beaning Stan in his nose. "I don't want Atomsk, I just want you to leave my family alone!" Stan replied with a nasty piledriver into the streets. "At this rate, I might as well report you for full-blown pedophilia!"

"Whoa-ho, do NOT go there Fezhead!" the Vespa Woman exclaimed stabbing Stan in his pectoral-covered chest with the head of her guitar. "Ain't no government gonna hold me down, because chances are they'd be too stupid to actually keep me down!"

Atomsk's eyes gleamed and fired a large red beam from his beak at the brawling duo, briefly consuming them in crimson energy. When the blast subsided, the pair were motionless. Then, they roared ferociously and their battle began once again, the two of them wearing the Pirate King's chains to beat each other with. "THIS POWER, IT'S JUST WHAT...I'VE WANTED!" Haruko snarled overflowing with Atomsk's awesome power while clawing at Stan's face. "I NO LONGER NEED YOU OR YOUR FICKLE FAMILY! I'LL JUST LET THIS PLANET BECOME NOTHING BUT DUST WHILE ME AND MY HUBBY TRAVERSE THE STARS!"

"NO! WHEN I'M DONE KILLING YOU AND YOUR HUBBY TO DEATH, I CAN LIVE QUIETLY ONCE MORE!" Stan replied shrieking and grabbing Haruko by the neck. "ALL ABOARD THE EVISCERATION EXPRESS!" he boomed preparing to grind his enemy's face on the pavement. "NEXT STOP, PUNISHMENT PLAINS!"

"Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, they got even worse than any worse!" Dipper panicked lighting up six cigarettes in his mouth. "We've been over this Dipper, you need to lighten up on the nicotine!" Ford exclaimed. "I know Ford, but after these six I am done." Dipper responded. "Besides, it's helping me think up a plan to save Stan & Raharu from Atomsk!" He lightly scratched his chin for a few moments in deep thought before an idea kicked down the door in his mind. "Wait, that's it! We need music! Gwen, go back home and fetch Mabel & I some guitars! It's the only way we can save the world!"

"O-okay dad." Gwen complied hugging her father with her single metallic hand before jumping off the factory and running back home. While running amongst the panicking townsfolk trying to flee from both the battle of the tricksters, the war on Medical Mechanica and Atomsk, the cyborg girl became cornered by several lanky black robots with what looked like television sets for heads that displayed one message: "LEAVE NO EVIDENCE."

"I've got your evidence right here!" Gwen shouted sending all the robots flying while spawning red energy waves that zipped their way to the birdcage, but more of them just kept coming. Gwen just rolled her eyes in exasperation before running off and paying them no mind. But she also unknowingly caused the energy she emitted to attract Medical Mechanica and create little turrets that launched giant balls of mochi raining from the sky.

Unlike the rest of the fleeing citizens, Aiko strolled down the street with a very full backpack ready to leave Gravity Falls before she turned around to see the mochi falling from above. Knowing what she has to do, Aiko went about-face and returned to her father.

"Hurry, we need to evacuate!" Masurao panicked packing up a large bag ready to leave town while Eyepatch practiced some punches. Suddenly a pumpkin bounced down the stairs in front of him before mochi destroyed their house.

As for Gwen, she finally returned home and searched high and low for any guitar-like instruments her father had kept hidden. However a large ball of mochi came whizzing downward to her house and when she heard the noise of it falling, she searched even faster. "Shit! SHIT SHIT SHIT, QUADRUPLE-DECKER SHIT!"

Fortunately, Gwen found Haruko's old Rickenbacker and the Mustang she gave Dipper & raced outside just as the mochi destroyed their house. "Quintuple shit." she groaned in defeat looking back at the destroyed cabin before turning her gaze back to the chaotic iron. "Hang on everyone, I'm coming!"

In the town square, Stan and Raharu held each other back by their fists and screamed so loud that their combined volume caused the street beneath them to crack apart with rubble gently floating in the air. Ian and Leia watched from afar with binoculars and popcorn on top of the birdcage. "So who do you think'll scream the loudest?" Ian asked his eldest younger sister. "I'm more concerned about the tiny rocks they're making fly off the ground." Leia responded. "We're gonna have to try that sometime."

"Maybe we could stick it in this new movie I'm pondering. I feel like I've found my calling in life and mostly resolved my character arc!" Ian exclaimed. "Wanna join me and become the next Wachowskis?" he offered his sister, who comedically burst into tears and gave her brother a slap on the back. "Of course I will! Thank you for helping me put an end to my arc!"

"We can discuss character development later you two, Gwen's back!" Tsukata announced calling attention to Gwen returning to her family and friends with the two guitars. "Oh thank you so much pumpkin!" Dipper cried snatching the Rickenbacker out of his daughter's hand while Mabel took the Mustang. "So why did you want these bro?" Mabel asked. "It's like on TV, music should definitely be the answer." her brother answered feeling sure of himself. "Now come on, or else we're all doomed!"

While tuning up their instruments, Stan's wheelchair began setting up a microphone and sound system that Dipper used to transmit his message to the battle between Stan & Haruko. "Testing one two three, found an elephant in my pajamas, Topeka Kansas." he began warming up before making a speech. "Uh, hello people of Gravity Falls. I know what you're all thinking, how can I be doing something like this when everyone we love is turning to delicious treats?" he asked the remains of the crowd not turned to mochi. "Well, I'm mostly doing this to help out two people who are currently fighting so that they can cooperate in helping us not die. And so, I dedicate this song to those people. I give you all, Ride on Shooting Star."

"ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" Mabel screamed into the mic and opening with a guitar solo. "Sitting up on this orange slide, it reflects the sky. Kind of like sponging off some pride, being dangled high." Dipper began singing. "SPIDER! I'm trapped in this web, so apprehensive! But it's okay so I won't hide it. I just wanna dream, in color TV!"

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!" Mabel picked up for her brother. "Ride on shooting star! This voice that lives in my heart! Loud like the sound of a shotgun, I'll just keep singing on!"

Surprisingly enough, Dipper's plan worked and their song interrupted the fighting. "K-kids?" Stan snarled in wonder at his greatnephew and niece. "T-Takkun?" Haruko hissed in addition not even bothering to strike her opponent from behind.

"Think we should join them?" Ford asked the others during the ensuing second solo when his brother's wheelchair produced an entire array of musical instruments for them to play. "Is there anything that thing can't do?!" Tyrone shouted picking up a triangle. Gwen sat down with a pair of bongos. Leia picked up a tambourine that she shook in her hands. Ian sat himself down at the drumset and bravely grasped a pair of drumsticks in his hands. Kanda was handed an electric piano and finally, Ford was granted the Jazzmaster that once belonged to Jinyu. "This one'll be for you Jinyu."

"Oh you silly little hamster, it's time to grow up. And that vengeful, little lobster, go bring it along." Ford joined his relatives, turning the duet into a trio. "Sniper! I'll say it out loud, "So what can you see? Stuck in that world, locked up with no key." Just give me one touch, before I take aim!"

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! Ride on shooting star! I've searched everywhere for you!" the three Pines began harmonizing. "I'm in withdrawal, it's true! I just told you a lie!" As the song reached its climax, the Medical Machines took notice of the impromptu concert and rocketed towards the birdcage. "Ride on shooting star! This voice that lives in my heart! Loud like the sound of a shotgun, I'll just keep singing on! Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah!"

Something began to tingle within Haruhara and Stanley thanks to the song. As if they never transformed at all, the power of Atomsk began to fade away from within them, and they were left aghast in the forest. "What the hell kinda cliché did that!?" Haruko exclaimed staring at the iron. "Hey Haruko. Little help?" Stan asked now lying on the ground without his wheelchair anywhere nearby. "I know we had some serious differences throughout this tale to the point where we tried to kill each other a few minutes ago, but can you just give me a boost so that we can go back to the kids?"

"Hmmmmm." Haruko pondered. "Hehe, looks like there is some decency inside ya after a-" Stan chuckled in satisfaction when he noticed she had disappeared without warning.

"Oh goody." he groaned. "Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo. Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo." the great-great uncle began making noises. "Seriously, did people ask for this sequel? I mean, it was teased at the end of the original Fooly Falls when they were originally announced, but people have said they were kinda disappointing. Meanwhile, the only criticism that was given to this was one reader getting angry probably because their shipping wasn't confirmed. If only my mystical wheelchair would somehow pull something out of its butt to help me up."

And indeed, his wheelchair suddenly appeared without him even noticing. "Oh, well what do you know."

The red energy connecting Medical Mechanica to the birdcage suddenly ceased just as Haruko finally made her way back up top. "Come on, I'm right here!" the Vespa Woman cackled victoriously. Gwen tried to punch the older woman in the face, but Haruko quickly dodged. "Thank you once again Pines family!" Haruko thanked mockingly. "The time has finally come. Come to me Atomsk!"

Instead, the birdcage began to be slowly absorbed into the Pirate King's glowing plumage. "OH WHAT IS GOING ON NOW!?" Dipper screamed. "I can definitely agree! IT'S SO BIG!" Haruko shouted in reply as the birdcage rocketed upwards into Atomsk's body, along with the Medical Machines and Stan trying to return to the others on his wheelchair. "Hey guys, what did I mi-AAAAAAHHHH!"

The giant iron began spiraling out of control firing mochi everywhere that consumed the citizens. Juan and Jorge manned Jinyu's Bel-Air while driving like mad trying to escape. "Someone, help me!" Sammy Determined begged before he was petrified by the dangerous sweets. "This is not how I wanted to go out." Tarot Turner groaned in exasperation as he joined the other people in becoming one with the mochi.

"This is bad, we have to get out of here captain!" one of Tonkichi's subordinates suggested in a panic. "No, we can't!" Tonkichi shouted defiantly. "Gather round men, listen to me! You young'uns are the ones who will fuel space!" he exclaimed revealing that his eyes have begun to glow a bright yellow. "I am never going to give up on you-" Before the theme park owner could finish, he accidentally stepped on some mochi and was instantly petrified.

"Hey, are you okay?" Masurao asked Eyepatch while struggling to free himself from the remains of his house. "The champ's alright with the champ's destructive punch!" Eyepatch answered deliriously. "It's not a-" Before Masurao could finish, Aiko finally returned to him. "Aiko. You actually came back for me." he muttered with hope while the mochi slowly consumed him. "Unfortunately, it's a bit too late now. Medical Mechanica is somehow planning to capture that monster with his own mochi. But I don't think it's possible without the potted plant. Aiko, you were going to be our last hope. Who would've guessed that when it came time, I couldn't bring myself to use my own daughter?"

Reaching back, Masurao then pulled out the same jack-o-lantern his daughter had kept in the closet. "Just take this and get outta here!" he urged Aiko, who simply let out a sharp exhale. "I don't want it."

"Just take it young lady! I know why you were saving all this money, to buy your freedom!" the capped male panicked, while the mochi continued to rain down. "You may as well take it, consider it prize money." Eyepatch added with his face covered in mochi. "There's been a knockout and the 10 count has already begun!"

"Go Aiko, you're finally free!" Masurao stuttered one last time and as soon as Aiko took the pumpkin, her father and Eyepatch were finally turned to dango. "What should I do?" Aiko pondered despondently when her phone rang, displaying multiple missed calls from Juan. "The potted plant." she realized deciding to answer one of those calls. "The trigger."

In another dimension located inside Atomsk, Gwen's head burst out from beneath the rubble, followed by her family, friends and Haruko. "Is this Atomsk's insides?" Mabel asked gazing in awe at the destroyed city surrounding them. "Kind of expected them to be more gross."

"Where the hell did my bat go?" Haruko wondered looking around when she discovered Older Man McGucket chatting with a familiar television set on a table. "Wassa motto with you little guy?" the hillbilly asked. "You were all hale and hearty just moments ago."

"Fiddleford?!" Ford exclaimed at the sight of his old friend. "Canti!?" Haruko, Dipper and Mabel added in unison. "Oh great, he's here too? If the others were with us, it'd be one big family reunion!" Stan snarked.

"Maybe it was something ya ate little guy." Fiddleford guessed continuing to fiddle with Canti's head in an attempt to bring him back.

"Is this a real date?!" Juan squealed adorably while Aiko took the driver's seat of Jinyu's car. "If you shut up, it might!" When more mochi came flying down upon the group in the hotrod, Juan romantically took the wheel from his girlfriend with a goofy giggle. "So this must be that prostitute of a girlfriend of yours." Ezra stated adjusting his glasses making the younger boy go from lovestruck to angry at his brother. "HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TELL YOU DICK?!"

"Just gonna be honest. All of them." Jorge replied lowering his sunglasses. "All of them!?" Juan garbled in shock. "So all we gotta do is find some plant? Okay, but where could we find it?" Wendy asked. "I got it! It's gotta be at Arnie's place!" Juan deduced. "Think he took it home after the whole Haruko voring Jinyu thing."

Upon swerving through the piles of mochi, they arrived at a small villa that Mabel, Pacifica and Arnold called home. "Here Planty the Potted Plant, come out wherever you are!" Soos called out for the plant. "Hey Wendy, I want you to be honest with me from one mother to another." Pacifica said to Wendy. "Do you really think I'm way too overprotective of Arnold?"

Wendy tried her hardest to not dance over the issue, but she finally decided to be honest. "Yeah, you pretty much are. Maybe that's why he's such a nervous wreck all the time." she answered sheepishly. "You gotta just, I dunno, let him be a kid for just a little while longer. Heck, mine are fighting for their lives up there and they're A-OK!"

"Found it." Aiko announced holding the rediscovered pot in her hands. "Well, that was scarily quick." Ezra commended.

"Come on now little guy, rise and shine!" McGucket exclaimed hitting Canti's head and making it fly to Gwen's feet. The head turned on and changed to green static, which coincided with Aiko's eyes changing to the same pattern. "Wow, what's going on?" Soos shouted in awe before the leaves on her head and become an antenna to transmit a signal from Gravity Falls all the way to inside Atomsk.

"Hey, what's up?" Wendy asked grabbing onto Aiko. "Are you okay there?!" Coincidentally, Canti's head began to display her on its screen catching Gwen and Tyrone's attention. "Mommy?" Gwen gasped. "Hi mom, we're inside a giant space bird!" Tyrone added cheerfully. "Is that you guys? Oh thank God you're okay!" Wendy exclaimed joyously. "Listen Gwen, I've been worried sick about you!"

"So now you decide to show some concern?" Gwen coldly interrupted her mother. "You literally decided that we should move to Portland for literally no reason. You're only thinking about yourself now."

"That's not true honey! All those parenting books by Dr. Lipschitz said that maybe it would be beneficial for one's child to find somewhere new to live or something like that." Wendy assured her daughter. "Though I'm pretty sure they're just as shitty as his name implies. I only want to do what's best for you and your brother, but you're both growing up. You'll find jobs, your own homes, a husband or wife."

"Wait, Portland? I think I was offscreen when Mom said that." Tyrone interjected. "Then we'll do what's best for all of us, Dad included." Gwen suggested. "Let's go on more adventures together, work at the Mystery Shack and just be a closer family. Is that okay?"

"I was stupid." Wendy answered. "I thought that as long I was at least near you guys, we would be together. But it seems that's not enough. Maybe it really is time I become a real mother to you." She brought Aiko in for a hug as if her own children were right in front of her. "I'll see you dudes soon." At the same time, Gwen & Tyrone hugged Canti's head and the message cut off. Back at the Pines-Northwest villa, everybody else surrounding Wendy & Aiko just burst into tears following the heartwarming apology. "Wait for us." the twins declared boldly.

"Sorry Pinkie Pie, but it's not here." McGucket gave Haruko the bad news over some tea and orange slices. Haruko dejectedly gulped one down her mouth before resting her head on the table. "Well that's a problem." she remarked. "Or maybe it won't." Fiddleford responded. "I think you might be onto something Fidds!" Ford agreed. "Perhaps he came back to take back something that belonged to him."

In the distance, Haruko's own Mustang floated in a bubble in the distance. "High-strung, but doesn't look the part." the woman stated. "If you're lookin' for yer bat, then it's right ovah there." McGucket pointed towards the Rickenbacker stuck in some rubble.

"Haruko, we need to talk." Gwen determinedly stated. "That's my girl!" Stanley cheered for his great-greatniece. "All this power I've gained, I'm going to use it for the good of myself and the people I love!"

"Good for you squirt. Who would've guessed a kid would be so brave and selfless?" Raharu commended the Pines sister. "We're all getting out of here, and taking Arnold with us too." Gwen declared. "Good for you too." Haruhara added nervously. "That said, not knowing what could come next is still what makes you a kid. If you take that off Gwennie, you won't be able to stay human. Guess you're all alone."

"You keep that snake's tongue away from her!" Tyrone exclaimed coming to his big sister's side as she tried to take off her beanie. "Do you still wanna do it, nya?"

When Gwen began to lose her grip on her hat, a giant colorful worm creature suddenly burrowed out of the bone white ground tossing its claws around. Haruko confidently called her old blue bass back to her side and came charging towards the worm ready for a fight. She continuously slammed the red head while the blue middle section turned its gaze to the Pines, using one of its claws to try and snatch Gwen away just as Canti, now with a full body, came in to save them.

"H-hey, aren't you?" Gwen stuttered. "Canti?!" Haruko shouted in addition at the sight of the Medical Machine now whole once more. Canti quickly tore the claw hand away and tossed it at the worm without any effort before returning to the Pines. The machine tried its best to speak to the group, but all that it could make was random garbled noises and hand signals.

"What's he trying to say?" Ian asked coming out of hiding along with Leia and Kanda. "Don't worry gang, I've learned how to speak robot from all the old sci-fi movies I watched!" Leia boldly declared beginning to attempt a conversation with Canti through random beeps and screeches. "Think he's asking us if we know the Muffin Man."

"The Muffin Man?!" Ford exclaimed getting invested in the exchange much to Canti's chagrin. "The Muffin Man." Leia answered. "Yes, I've met the Muffin Man once." Ford continued. "He lives on Drury Lane!"

"Of course. She's married to the Muffin Man." Leia continued her attempted translation. "The Muffin Man?!" Ford shouted getting even more into it. "The Muffin Man!" the teenage girl squealed. "She's married to the Muffin Man." the great-great uncle muttered in complete awe, but Canti just facepalmed at it. "Guys, that's not what he's saying. In fact, I'd recognize that panicky body language anywhere!" Dipper deduced. "That's gotta be Arnold!"

Canti gave its former Takkun a thumbs up in reply before it began to remove Gwen's beanie. Even with the robot's struggling and the rising tension, the hat simply broke to pieces as if it were made of a harder material and energy beams spewed from the girl's forehead.

Gwen smiled softly as the beams disintegrated what was left of the beanie and gathered the rubble around her, becoming a sleek white machine with a pink BC Rich Bich. Meanwhile, Haruko continued whaling on the worm with her Rickenbacker when Gwen appeared to utterly destroy it. "Heh, pretty awesome." Haruko scoffed proudly. "So, shall we find a way out of this place and this story?"

"I was just gonna say the same thing buckaroo." Fiddleford stated beginning to part ways with his old friends. "Lotta garbage found its way here, so y'all be careful." With that, McGucket closed a door to the exit that confused everyone. "So we could've gotten out anytime we wanted?" a wide-eyed Tsukata asked before all the robots they fought in the past appeared for one last show.

Back on Earth, Pacifica drove the Bel-Air to the Medical Mechanica plant while struggling to deal with the combined weight of everyone in the backseat. "This is it everyone, the climax!" she declared finally reaching the iron when the car finally broke down. "And this has got to be the place." Juan announced when Aiko turned back to her boyfriend with a smile before she made her way to the plant. "Talk about a weird little girl." Wendy commented, making Juan embarrassed. "I think she's unique!"

Aiko quietly dropped the plant to the ground and broke the pot containing it, making her eyes glow green as the petals on her head sprouted into a full weed that overtook the iron. As she became one with the bark that began covering the factory, Aiko put on one last cute smile, satisfied that she had done what she needed to do.

"That's what you call unique?!" Melody stuttered in shock. "You wanted to make out with a plant little dude." Soos added just as astonished. "But then again, still less weird then how I met your mother while a psycho dating sim character was on the loose."

Haruko and Canti began chasing Gwen through the wormhole with everyone else once again on Stan's wheelchair following them behind. "OUTTA MY WAY!" Haruko screamed shoving all the robots away, leaving Ian & Leia to finally put their respective fencing and kickboxing skills to good use on the machines. "How come we didn't use them beforehand?" Leia asked her older brother kicking the automaton from chapter 3 away. "I have no idea either." Ian replied jabbing the one from chapter 1 with a makeshift epee. "Hey, there's a portal!"

"There it is!" Haruko shouted gazing upon the portal that Ian had just pointed out. "I, CAN, MAKE IT!" she screamed trying to go past it first, but it unfortunately closed on the party. "I was supposed to make it, that's what happens in the movies!" Haruko whined when she found another one. "There's another one!" she gasped continuing her chase.

Canti tossed the space storage unit containing McGucket through the vortex and proceeded to hold it open for everyone to get through. "TV-bot, no!" Stan shouted as the Medical Machine seemingly sacrificed itself for the others.

At the light at the end of the tunnel, the storage unit began hovering above Gravity Falls with everyone standing on top of it; and inside it in Fiddleford's case, safe and sound. "Now where is it off to?" Stan asked when they all found a bright red star shining above them the town, generated by Canti overflowing with Atomsk's power.

"Jackpot." Haruko smirked before Atomsk's trademark symbol transformed into the Northwest symbol. "Arnold!" Gwen called out for her cousin. "I knew it!" Dipper added. The two girls tried beckoning for the robot to come to them, but it instead opened its arms for a hug. "I see, I gotta take it!" Haruko realized. "That's right." Gwen replied. "If you want it, then take it!"

The two guitarists began clashing their basses while Atomsk watched silently. "I'll take this!" Haruko hissed like a cat as the duel went on. When she knocked Gwen down with a kick to her robot form's screen and leaped towards Atomsk while puckering up, the other girl just flied alongside her. "Oh go away Gwennie, quit being a cockblocker!"

The only answer she got was a punch in the face and a lost tooth. She then retaliated by smashing Gwen's screen in with her Rickenbacker and continued making her way to Atomsk, but Gwen's human arm burst out and grabbed her ankle. She kicked Haruko in the face while racing for the Pirate King herself to try and win back her cousin, angering the Vespa Woman. "DAMMIT!"

At long last, the war was won with both Haruko and Gwen kissing Atomsk, who made a heartbeat sound before they fell to the ground. McGucket had some soft things prepared to help Gwen have a safe landing while Canti was returned to normal, and Haruhara finally obtained the Pirate King's awesome might for herself.

Haruko began laughing evilly as she began feeling one with the giant bird while everyone watched in horror, but she suddenly began rejecting it while Canti got up. The Vespa Woman tried desperately to keep the energy down, but she instead violently barfed it out along with the Medical Machine ejecting some black substance from its monitor. "Morning sickness, am I right?" Stan quipped while feeling something funny in his stomach. "Uh oh."

The black ooze suddenly reformed into Arnold as Haruko's space vomit began taking shape as a humanoid form for Atomsk. "Okay, you better not run away." Haruha glowered while her bracelet began tingling one last time. "You became mine. Didn't you Atomsk?!" She reached out to the Pirate King and chains emerged from her bracelet to try and capture him, but to no avail. "Why, why? WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU?!"

"It's like I keep telling you Haruko, you can't-" Dipper attempted to urge Haruko into giving up her journey, but he was quickly interrupted by Kanda grasping his shoulder and shaking his head.

"It's been so long. So long since I turned on Rick to be with you, and even longer since you destroyed my planet." Haruko panted running up to Atomsk and fruitlessly punching him. "I've chased you forever, so why do you constantly refuse to be mine?!" She began crying as her punches also began to cease. "You are mine I'm telling you! You're mine! You're mine! You are!"

At the last punch, the normally brazen and brash Vespa Woman fully burst into tears over Atomsk seemingly rejecting her again. "Why won't you just look at me?" she asked beneath her blubbering. "Can't you see my body is overflowing?" The Pirate King answered by simply giving her a hug as comfort and she hugged back, even kissing him. Wings began sprouting out of Atomsk's back and he began to fly away, leaving behind a alive and well Jinyu in his place.

"All beautiful things eventually fade away." Arnold remembered Jinyu's speech about fireworks while the three kids gazed upon Atomsk's departure. When Haruko opened her eyes, she stared at her lover flying away and then at her other half Jinyu, who gave her a warm comforting smile. "I thought this time just this once, I thought I was gonna get what I was fighting for." Haruha sniffed accepting a hug from Jinyu. "See Haruko. You can't-" Dipper began while patting her on the back. "Yeah yeah you baka. Can't force someone to love you."

The Medical Mechanica factory began to collapse once more, only this time there would be no rebuilding it. "So an all-out attack didn't work, huh?" Tonkichi mused having already ate his way out of his mochi-covered vulture costume. He pulled a switch on his controller that caused the castle to open up and allow Imelda to see the light again. "Okay lass, you can go home now!"

"What was the point of all this?!" Imelda shouted completely in the dark about what had happened. "No reason little one. That thing probably didn't come for any reason either." the theme park owner answered seeing the Pirate King off.

Juan mourned his girlfriend's sacrifice while his present relatives offered him some comfort in these trying times. However, Wendy made him spot a sprout growing out of where the factory once was, and Aiko bloomed from it with only the pumpkin covering her. Juan managed to catch her fall and she just laughed. "Oh my tummy!" Aiko giggled and Juan soon joined in on the laughter.

Suddenly, the Department of Interstellar Immigration's storage unit crashed onto the ground next to them and the other important to semi-important characters falling off of it. "Yes, we're all alive!" Mabel cheered while she and Arnold were reunited with Pacifica. "Mommy!" Tyrone exclaimed racing to his mother's arms.

Amidst all the happy families being reunited, Haruko, Jinyu, Stan and Ford just watched peacefully. "Guess all's well that ends well." Stan declared with serenity. "And we all learned something today too. Just gotta-AUGH! AUGH!

"Are you okay Mr. Pines? You were just going to give a cliché moral!" Jinyu asked Stan. "What did I tell you all, killer stomachache." Ford declared, angering his brother. "I'M DYING YOU IDIOT!"

"D-d-dying?!" Dipper panicked racing to his grunkle's side in his final moments. "Please don't die on us Stan! You still got a few years left!" he began crying, but Stan shushed him by rubbing his cheek. "Just cut it out Dipper. This was inevitable, but I didn't think I would go so soon." the dying con-artist declared. "Before I go, I just have some final words for everyone. Dipper, keep on following your head but don't forget to follow your heart."

He handed Dipper a small piece of paper before turning to a devastated Mabel. "Mabel pumpkin, don't ever stop smiling no matter what." Then he gazed at an already depressed Ford who turned away to hide his tears. "Ford, you were the best brother a knucklehead like me could ever have." Stan moved onto Soos and Wendy. "Soos, Wendy, thank you for sticking by me as my employees."

"Please, this can't be. I don't want you to go." Soos began bursting into tears for his dying father figure. "Gwen, Tyrone, I'm so happy to have seen you grow up so much." Stan told the twins. "Arnold, you don't have to be super macho to be cool. Just be you. Jinyu, thanks for being a stellar maid. Haruko, I'm sorry for taking our feud so far. And to everyone else, it was great having you in my life."

"Just rest Stan. Just rest." Dipper began crying while firmly grasping his grunkle's hand as it got colder.

"So...this is what it feels like." Those were the last words that came out of the mouth of Stanley Danley Pines, beloved great-uncle, brother, boss, great-great uncle, friend and town hero before he silently passed on surrounded by his loved ones.

"Extra extra, read all about it! Stan Pines dead, this time for real!" Sammy Determined announced tossing newspapers around documenting the con-artist's passing. "STANLEY PINES DEAD" the headlines announced. Only this time, instead of faking his death while going incognito as his brother, Stan was officially deceased.

"Today, we gather here to honor someone near and dear to the hearts of many, bound together by the sorrow of loss." Ford announced at his younger brother's funeral. The entire town had assembled to pay their respects, from his surviving family, his old enemies, various townsfolk free from the mochi, Senator Gideon & President Kitaki, Tarot Turner, the various mystical creatures of Gravity Falls to even Ezra's inexplicable raccoon companion Bawuu. A memorial to Stan was erected to honor him with a gold nameplate at the base. "He had touched all of us in his rather bizarre fashion, through his silver tongue, showmanship and inane parlor tricks. To many he was a cheapskate, but to some he was...I can't take it anymore!"

Ford's overwhelming sadness cut him off and he ran off crying. Everyone was so dejected that they didn't make any effort to get him back while Jinyu took Ford's place. "Although I haven't known Stanley long, I have learned through word of mouth that underneath his hardened greedy shell was a caring man who would do anything for the people he loved." she finished for the scientist. "Rest easy Mr. Pines. Every time a purchase is made from the Mystery Shack, it will be in your name."

A small orchestra began playing "We'll Meet Again" while Stan's casket was lowered into the ground underneath his statue. Dipper, Mabel, Haruko and Jinyu began searching for the grieving Ford around the Mystery Shack when they found him all alone at the remains of the portal to other worlds beneath the tourist trap.

"Uh, hey Sixer." Haruko greeted the scientist. "Go away Raharu." Stanford coldly rejected the biker. "Now don't go all being a dick just because you blame me for your brother being dead!" the Vespa Woman argued back. "I'm just as torn up about it as you are! We were partners in crime back in the day!"

"What she's trying to say Stanford, is that deep down she is sorry for your loss." Jinyu translated for her other half. "Would you like to see his grave one last time?"

"Fine. Pretty sure Gwen, Tyrone & Arnold are still there too." Ford accepted the offer and he returned outside with the other four to the place where Stan was buried, at the former site of Diamond Brandy's tomb where his own memorial now resides. "Hi kids. How are you doing?" Dipper asked his children and nephew while they gazed upon Stan's statue. "Is this what losing someone for real is like?" Gwen pondered. "Like, no chance of them coming back?"

Canti suddenly appeared alongside them to mourn Stan's demise and gave Ford a gentle pat on the back. "Thank you very much Canti." he thanked the Medical Machine. "But it seems like we'll eventually have to move on."

"Move on from what you guys?" a strangely familiar voice called out and its owner materialized before them, the ghost of the late Grunkle Stan. "Yeah, it's me! Kept you guessing I was gone for good, huh?"

"Stan!" Dipper, Mabel and Ford screamed in joy racing up to hug Stan, only to pass right through his current spectral form. "BAHAHAHA! Really gonna enjoy seeing that!" the deceased great-uncle cackled loudly. "So anyway, why y'all looking so down in the-oh. Did you at least make the plaque under my statue say what I wanted it to be?"

"Yes, yes I did." Dipper answered wiping a tear. "So this is what death is actually like, huh? Kind of expected more mahogany desks and maybe a good place to rest in peace in." Stan murmured musing over his current state. "But anyways, at least I can literally be with you guys in spirit."

"You'll never let your loved ones go Stan, kinda like how I'll never let Atomsk go." Haruko stated, much to everyone's chagrin. "You pretty much didn't listen to any of the morals, didn't you?" Gwen groaned in disgust. "I kid you guys, I kid!" the Vespa Woman cackled raucously. "As a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna take a little break from the big guy and stop Medical Mechanica across the galaxy," she announced gazing at Jinyu. "with my new partner in crime!"

"You mean me?" Jinyu asked pointing at herself. "Yeah, a certain someone keeps telling me that I can't force someone to love me. But maybe I should instead force someone I already love to do what I want." Haruko replied. "And no, I only sort of love you now. Still hate how much of a buzzkill you are."

"Hey look, some actual growth from you! Good job Haruko!" Dipper celebrated Haruko's development. "Yes yes, hooray for me." the guitarist responded taking a bow. "Well Fezhead, guess this is it." she began saying her farewell to Stan. "The fact that you can't catch it just makes you wanna catch him even more. I get it now. See ya 'round Pinky." her old friend grinned and once again faded away, satisfied that the two had made peace with each other at last.

The mood was suddenly disrupted when Dipper's phone rang with a call from Soos. "One sec please." he told the others turning to speak with his fat friend on the phone. "Hey Soos, anything the matter?"

"DUDES, HOSPITAL, MELODY GIVING BIRTH, NOW!" the former handyman shouted from the other end of the line. "Well, you still have one plotline left dangling to wrap up. Me, my new buddy and I are just gonna stop Double-M and then get back to Atomsk." Haruko proclaimed hopping in Jinyu's Bel-Air with her Vespa & Rickenbacker in the backseat. "Vespa Twins, out!"

"Vespa Twins. Nice ring to it." Ford mused watching the pair fly off into the sunset. "Well what're we waiting for? We got a birth to attend!"

As the Pines and Canti raced off to the hospital, Stan materialized ontop of his memorial to watch as Haruko & Jinyu flew away from Earth. "Ride on shooting star, keep planting those spiky seeds to the stars overhead."

Upon bursting into the waiting room, Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Canti and the kids found the Ramirez siblings, Wendy, Pacifica, Candy & Ezra and Aiko watching as Soos panicked with mountains of empty coffee cups piling up in the trash. "Everything good Soos?" Ford asked the gopher-like manchild. "I'm so sorry dudes, it's just that this is our seventh kid and we're done!" Soos hollered nervously. "We'll have one to love each day of the week, but I'm so nervous I can't stand to actually be there for the big moment!"

"Hey, you're that guy from Little Asia!" Dipper exclaimed to Masurao. "Wait, those eyebrows." He took off the other man's cap, revealing that his brows were so tiny they were almost nonexistent. "So who was lucky enough to be your mother?"

"Can you please take him to see his wife already? We're at an all-time low on coffee for panicking parents." the elderly receptionist grumbled. Canti simply nodded its head and put on some maid gear to carry everyone into the hospital room where Melody was giving birth to her seventh child, just as she finished making the baby pop out of her you-know-what.

"It's a boy." Jinyu announced dressed as a doctor while Haruko put on her old nurse outfit and the two presented the new baby to Soos. "Mazel tov." the pair congratulated. The current Mr. Mystery gently cradled his newborn son in his arms with a smile. "One day little dude, you're gonna take my place."

"HEY! That's what you said to me when I was born you fatass!" Ian screamed feeling jealous that the new baby had just taken his birthright. "And me!" Leia added just as furious. "No, he said that to me!" Juan & Jorge responded in unison before the four siblings duked it out. "Older siblings." Imelda snarked. "Best to watch out for them, uh...what name do you choose Daddy?"

"How about," Soos suggested putting his fez on his new son's head. "Stan Jr."

Thirteen years go by and the Pines & Ramirez children have now succeeded in following the paths they have chosen overtime.

Gwen became inspired by her experiences with Haruko and took up guitar lessons, eventually releasing her own one-woman indie album titled Wasp in the Pine Tree. However from time to time, she would rejoin her family in Gravity Falls to solve mysteries together like the old days.

Tyrone would grow up to become an abstract artist, putting his childish energy and optimism to good use by literally splattering paint everywhere just because he could. Much like his sister, Tyrone would rejoin his parents back home to have fun.

Arnold inherited his grandfather's company, and sought to right the wrongs of the Northwests before him. He would also inherit the journals written by Ford when he eventually passed on.

Ian & Leia became world-renowned film directors famous for their co-produced flick also inspired by their experiences with Haruko titled Phoenix and the Shooting Stars. Although it received poor returns at the box office because more people were interested in their childhoods being rehashed, it was a smash hit with critics and became a cult classic. Leia's new husband Ezra was a frequent collaborator, often providing additional SFX and writing ideas.

Juan & Jorge would create & star in the reality series Manly Eye for the Wimpy Guy, where they along with Juan's fiancee Aiko and a group of macho life coaches would help inspire better self-confidence in down on their luck men & reshape their lives.

Imelda continued living in Gravity Falls helping to run the Mystery Shack as usual while working a part-time job as a lifeguard, finally experiencing all the years she missed out on having fun.

"Goodbye mom, we'll see you in a bit!" a thirteen-year old boy with short brown hair called to his mother before leaving their tourist trap home with his seventeen-year old sister with longer brown hair wearing a white blouse, blue skirt and black boots. "C'mon, I wanna see him again!"

"Okay little guy, hold your horses." his older sister tried to calm him down. "You're awful excited to see a dead guy on your birthday." Every year on the boy's birthday of July 16th, the two of them would visit the grave of his namesake deep within the woods of Gravity Falls.

The two finally reached a memorial to Stanley Pines with a plaque saying "I'll definitely be missed, but your aim will get better." Nearby was a large tombstone dedicated to Stanford Pines that was only slightly smaller than the statue, and it read "Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind, and don't let anyone ever tell you you are not smart or brave or worthy enough."

"Happy birthday Stan Jr." Abby smiled giving her baby brother a hug. "Thanks Abby." Stan Jr. replied and the two gazed up at the sky, where a single red star shined above the remains of the Medical Mechanica factory.

AAAAND scene! After nearly half a year in the works, Fooly Falls 2 is done once and for all. Thanks to all my loyal readers for sticking by my side through thick & thin and special thanks to that one guy who left this story its only review so far. I sure hope we can ride on once more but until then, stay gold.

Bang.

0 notes

andrewmoocow · 6 years ago

Text

Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 1: Here We Go Again (originally posted on January 23, 2019)

AN: Greetings everyone! While I continue to work hard on the climax for Gravity Soul, I'm just gonna throw this into the ring. Ladies and germs, behold the long-awaited sequel to Fooly Falls! Before we begin, I just want to say that this takes place 20 years after the first story and centers on the twin children of Dipper and Mabel's own son that mainly takes from FLCL Progressive with elements of Alternative and some rewrites I found across the Internet. Now that we got all of this outta the way, let's finally return to the falls.

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"The world must be destroyed before it can become beautiful. This is the world I envisioned." a young girl narrated to herself in the middle of a destroyed town. "This is what I fear the world will become."

The girl strolled through the wreckage in a grey beanie cap on top of her brownhaired head. The rest of her body made it look like she came back from a great battle that she barely survived, rotting & almost falling apart, and out of her forehead was a large horn poking out. "But in this world, only my body is rotting. Becoming decayed. Yes, decayed. Maybe this is what my body could become."

As she continued her march, a collection of giant irons moved towards her from the distance held by equally large hands. "Maybe this is my true self." The girl soon turned and ran away. "But then finally I remembered. I'm still only a twelve-year old girl, not thinking about anything."

The girl continued running as her form slowly began to decompose. "Nothing normal ever happens around these parts. And it can only get weirder from here."

All covered in blood, the girl reached a half-submerged monster who's eye quickly burst open, causing her horn to react.

The girl screamed in terror as her body fell apart more and more, flesh and blood being replaced with metal until she emerged as a white robot with a bright blue visor. And just as the irons moved closer, the robot prepared for battle by sending one of the irons flying-

Gwen Pines suddenly burst from her sleep. Her normally straight brown hair was a mess from tossing and turning in her sleep while her younger brother Tyrone passionately sang along to the song that served as her alarm.

When the song ended, Tyrone looked at his sister with a smile. "Aah! After ten hours of sleep, you are free!" he exclaimed joyously. "It's time to conquer breakfast!"

"Good morning Tyrone." Gwen yawned rubbing her eyes. "Morning sis!" Tyrone exclaimed giving her a good morning hug before he noticed her messy hair. "Hey, what's up with your hair? Did you have that weird zombie robot dream again?"

"Pretty much." Gwen moaned picking up a brush to straighten her chocolate locks. "You ever wonder about the future Ty? You ever fear that you'll lose everything, and then yourself as well?"

"Nope! You're just thinking too far into the future." Tyrone assured her with a playful knock on her head. "Now come on, don't wanna keep Mommy waiting!"

Tyrone grabbed his older sister by the arm and dragged her downstairs to the kitchen, where their mother was already preparing breakfast. "Morning guys!" Wendy greeted them giving Tyrone a hug. "Morning Mommy! Where's Daddy at?" Tyrone asked squeezing his beloved mom tight before he let go. "Dipper's off at the Shack helping Stan again." Wendy answered serving the kids some scrambled eggs. "You wanna go deliver some coffee to him, Aunt Mabel and Aunt Pacifica?"

"Of course." Gwen quietly replied spotting three thermoses on the counter while finishing her scrambled eggs. "You must be as excited to go there today and see our friends as much as I am, right?" Tyrone added shoveling the remains of his serving down the hatch. "There's Ian, Leia, Juan & Jorge, Imelda, Abby, Mr. Soos, Melody and of course, Arnold!"

"Let's just go. I'll carry Dad's and Aunt Mabel's, you get Aunt Pacifica's." Gwen deadpanned preparing to leve their home for the Mystery Shack. The siblings picked up the thermoses of coffee and began heading out the door. "See you later Mommy!" Tyrone called running farther away. "See ya little dude!" Wendy hollered back before she stopped her elder daughter with her old axe. "And you too Gwen!"

"I'm way too old for that. Plus you're basically threatening me into saying bye." Gwen stated. "Okay, you're right on the whole threatening thing, but still!" Wendy exclaimed putting her axe away as Gwen sighed and finally said "Goodbye Mommy."

As a white haired woman in a blue Chevrolet Bel-Air watched through a pair of binoculars from a distance, the twins finally made it to the Mystery Shack where a peculiar yellow Vespa scooter was parked outside. The tourist trap itself looked nicer than it did twenty years ago, albeit the biggest change was the loose S on the sign now hastily nailed into place.

Stepping inside and switching the sign from closed to open, the kids were greeted with a few familiar sights.

Ian Ramirez, a broad-shouldered 17-year old young man with brown hair spiking back downward, a small goatee and a black leather jacket over a Mystery Shack employee T-shirt, was hard at work on getting everything ready.

Ian's sister Leia, an attractive 15-year old girl with her brown hair in a ponytail, an orange question mark symboled tanktop, denim shorts and hiking boots, manned the cash register like their mother before her, texting on her phone with a can of soda beside her.

And finally three boys sat down having a conversation. The first boy with dirty blonde hair was Arnold; age 10, the adopted son of their aunts Mabel & Pacifica clad in a purple sweatervest, black trousers with brown shoes, braces and a gold Northwest ring. The other ridiculously dressed two he was telling a story to were 11-year old twins Juan and Joseph, or Jorge as he preferred to be called.

"So then what did she do?" Juan asked getting more invested in Arnold's story. "Well, then she tried to pull a giant robot out of my forehead!" Arnold skittishly answered. "I had no idea I had those inside me, especially the one she found which then ran off into the night!"

"That is so awesome!" Jorge roared in excitement. "What was she like?! How hard did she hit you, what did she say, what were her measurements?!"

"Guys, you two are getting weird!" Arnold exclaimed. "Though not as weird as that skirt you're wearing Juan." He then brought attention to Juan's current fashion choices. "It's not a skirt, they call it a kilt in Scotland! Tons of men wore it, especially back in the old days!"

"Thanks for the history lesson Juan, but I'm asking you to please cover up underneath there!" Arnold added. "At least Jorge's wearing pants along with the sunglasses, fedora and clogs!"

"Morning you guys!" Tyrone interrupted their discussion. "Yo, Ty-die! Good to see you bro!" the brothers greeted him loudly followed by the three performing their secret handshake. "Let me guess, the joe's for your old man? He should be downstairs working with Ford." Juan stated pointing to the vending machine that served as a secret entrance to a hidden laboratory under the Shack.

"Morning little dudes!" Leia said getting up from behind the counter to tousle Tyrone's fluffy red hair. "Oh, greetings twins." Ian added wildly gesturing to the two. "You need any help with that coffee?"

"Sure, you know where Aunt Mabel is?" Tyrone replied handing of the thermoses to Ian. "Yes, she and Pacifica are upstairs with Dad helping Stan start his day." Suddenly there was a creaking noise followed by a yell. "Hey Ian, can you be a good dude and come upstairs please? Mr. Pines fell down again!"

"I'll be sure to bring it up to her." Ian declared taking two of the thermoses away and leaving the room. "Coming Dad!"

"So what's on your minds today guys? Other than tastes in fashion." Gwen asked the three boys. "We were just discussing some strange woman that attacked Arnold last night and tried to pull something out of his head." Juan answered just as the door opened. "What strange woman?"

A blonde woman with eyes completely hidden behind a pair of glasses stepped into the gift shop. "Excuse me, may I speak to one of the employees?" she asked monotonously. "I'm an employee here!" Leia answered. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack miss, how may I help you?"

"I am in town today to conduct a social experiment on the local youth." the woman explained. "Tell me your age young lady, along with the four young ones with you."

"Name's Leia Ramirez, age 15." Leia introduced herself shaking her hand. "This little gentleman Tyrone is nine years old, his sister Gwen is twelve, their cousin Arnold is ten and my little bros Juan & Joseph are eleven."

"Marvelous." the researcher said in dull excitement, drawing scribbles on a clipboard. "Now before my experiment can proceed, I'd like to ask you, as a selection of children part of our modern youth, a question. What in your estimation is the most important thing to you? Yes you, the weakest links in our society." she surveyed while Gwen quietly examined the text messages on her phone. "Yes, you over there with the pompadour?"

"I don't know." Juan answered showing how he was just as confused as everybody else in the room by adjusting his sweatband.

"Correct answer." the woman declared. "Not having clear or distinct answers for any question and feeling fulfilled through triggered animalistic sexual urges, that is the only life you know as youth with absolutely no skill to convince us otherwise."

"What is she on about?" Arnold asked arching an eyebrow. "I don't know, some philosophical crap." Jorge answered as the researcher went on. "It has been exactly one week to the day that I have first arrived in this small Oregon town and I must say, you are all eligible." Soon she opened a laptop that she pulled out. "Now, let the exam begin."

Gwen stared blankly at the laptop showing her some rather obscene activity between a teacher and his student while the other kids formed a line behind her. "So this is her idea of research, basically showing us porn?" Arnold whimpered while Tyrone snacked on some popcorn behind him. "I may not see it from here, but at least I can still hear and enjoy."

"Uh Ian, Leia? What's going on up here?" Mason Pines, better known to everyone as Dipper, asked returning from his studies behind the vending machine to catch everyone in the act of the woman's experiment. "Hey lady, she's only twelve!" he shouted taking the laptop away. "You shouldn't be showing her that!"

"And why do you object? Do you plan on looking at this yourself?" the woman asked snatching the laptop back from an embarrassed Dipper while his bearded face turned crimson and the other kids resisted the urge to laugh.

"What in the name of Sam Hill is all this about Dipper looking at porn?!" an aged Stanley Pines roared as Ian, Mabel Pines and Soos & Melody Ramirez wheeled him into the gift shop.

"Hi Greatkle Stan! This science lady is showing us this stuff for some reason. She said it's to make us react or something." Tyrone chirped handing Dipper his coffee. Gwen then switched to another video, again eliciting no reaction. "Would it kill you to have even the tiniest reaction to this?" the scientist asked just as emotionless as her test subject. "You don't want to wait until you're over the hill to this adolescence, do you?"

Gwen soon began to get up. "Fine, I've seen all I need to." the mystery visitor snarked. "Which one of you is next?"

"He volunteers as tribute!" Tyrone shouted raising Arnold's arm for him. "Eh, I don't need to test you Arnold." the woman shrugged. "Now hold on lady! If you want to test on any more of these impressionable youths, you'll have to buy something first!" Stan declared as Gwen went downstairs to the elevator behind the vending machine and went down to the third floor.

She entered the lab that her great-granduncle Stanford Pines once used to conduct his research on the odd town of Gravity Falls, now covered in dust & cobwebs with the portal he had created still dismantled and rusting. "Uh, Great-Grunkle Stanford?"

"Oh hello there Gwendolyn! How do you do?" her genius great-granduncle exclaimed shaking his great-grandniece's hand. "Never thought you would come down here all by yourself. Usually someone like Tyrone, Arnold, Ian, your father or your aunt would accompany you. So what brings you to my lab?"

"I wanted to talk to you about a nightmare I had." Gwen answered. "What do you know about giant clothes irons?" she asked, sending chills down Ford's crooked back. "G-giant clothes irons?!" the elderly author shivered racing to fish out a copy of the Gravity Falls Gossiper dating back two decades ago. "Never thought I would pull this out, but here goes."

Ford then began to read. "Gravity Falls Gossiper, date August 2012. 'Aftermath of the Oregon Fooly Cooly of 2012.' Town recovers from mass havoc caused by crazed motorist and her robot companion. According to Commander Amarao of the Department of Interstellar Immigration, this young lady broke into the home of local con-artist Stan Pines and declared herself his maid. In the chaos that ensued, space birds, bass guitars, alternative rock, robots, all-powerful time-stopping megalomaniacs, sexual innuendos and reversal of gravity were involved."

"Did that actually happen Stanford?" Gwen asked. "As much as I hate to say it, but yes." Ford answered resignedly. "We all thought we either decided to forget it ever happened or maybe it didn't occur at all, but your visions of clothes irons in your dreams now leads me to fear the worst. Medical Mechanica is at it again."

Far across town, the Medical Mechanica plant stood idly as always, in the process of reconstruction as it groaned, letting off steam.

When Gwen returned to the surface after her conversation with Ford, she began helping out the Ramirez family with the tourists alongside Tyrone and Arnold. However two in particular stood out, one was a red-haired man in a ballcap while the other was an old man with an eye-patch.

"Hey princess, can I get any idea on the next tour?" the one-eyed senior asked. "'Scuse me miss, but do you have any of those fur-covered trouts in stock." the other man added. "Can you help me choose what to but Gwennie?" another tourist said.

"Old tourists, am I right?" Imelda Ramirez, the second daughter of Soos & Melody wearing a purple dress, flower barrette and a worn-out expression, groaned. "It's so glad that out of everyone in our little circle, I relate to you the most." she complimented. "Only replace the nihilism with being overworked from being the Shack's financial advisor, watching over my baby sister Abby when my parents are too busy and having to deal with my eldest siblings."

"I love it when Gwen has that attitude around us." the eyepatched elder remarked serenely. "I just adore it when we're looked down upon by her judging expression." the third tourist added. "Same here." Suddenly the eyepatch man received a list of future tour times from Imelda before she returned to Gwen's side. "And the little one is pretty fiery too. So much pressure on her shoulders and keeps a cool head no matter what."

"I guess it's a hardknock life for someone like me who has to deal with Mr. Overdramatic, the party-girl and those two." Imelda snarked before her baby sister Abby pulled on her skirt with a finger painting in hand. "Hold on one second my friend, I must give a thorough analysis on a finger painting." she added speedwalking away like Marvin the Martian.

"Thank you so much for the help you guys. Maybe someday you can get your own jobs." Melody thanked the three Pines kids while patting her pregnant stomach. "Perhaps your first can be watching over our expected newborn. Still in the dark on whether it'll be a boy or a girl."

"If it does turn out to be a boy, it should have a cool name like Darkside or Steppenwolf!" Tyrone exclaimed just as the twins' mother pulled up to the Shack in a logging truck. "That must be Aunt Wendy. See you guys tomorrow." Arnold said opening the door for his aunt while his cousins walked outside. "But maybe you won't need us to watch over your baby. You ever thought of hiring a nanny?"

"Would really love to, but Soos and the kids aren't too big on all the choices since they're not practically perfect in every way." Melody answered stepping outside as well before the plant began to wheeze. "Still don't know what gave Stan the idea to turn that old place into a tourist attraction." Wendy commented. "Even makes the same sound, which always meant something crazy was going to happen."

Indeed something insane was on the horizon as Gwen's grey beanie began vibrating atop her head. "Uh hey Gwen, you okay?" Arnold asked before the bobble on top of it began glowing red as a car approached.

A blue Chevrolet Bel-Air came zooming towards them, and in the backseat sat a dark-skinned woman with white hair in a ponytail wearing a green tube top with a short lavender jacket, a strange orange-rimmed visor covering up a pair of red stripes vertically crossing over her eyes, a white belt with a silver heart buckle, a pair of black leggings underneath a matching skirt and white boots. By her side was a Fender Jazzmaster guitar as she got closer to Gwen specifically.

"KYAAAAAAH, EVERYBODY RUUUUN!" Arnold screamed at the top of his lungs shoving everybody except his cousin out of the way, and as a result she was hit by the Bel-Air & sent flying, her beanie coming loose from her head as well.

"Gwen!" Wendy shouted rushing to her daughter's side while Tyrone & Arnold gaped in awe of what just happened. "That was a close one. My apologies." the woman stated hopping out of her car. "A little bit more and she would've overflowed."

"Overflowed?" Melody wondered as the mystery car driver inspected Gwen. "That's strange. I'm sure it was a fatal hit." she examined. "Unfortunately to all of you, this young girl is going to be fine."

"The only thing that's more unfortunate is how you nearly killed her!" Wendy shouted angrily. "Can you do that on me too?" Tyrone squealed in excitement as his sister got back up. "Oh hey sis, you were victim to a hit and run!"

Gwen shook her head before she turned to find the woman trying on her hat. "Hey, that's mine!" she shouted. "Why would you wear something like this in the summer?" the woman pondered when Gwen demanded it back. "Just hand it over and leave us alone!"

"Where did you get this hat?" the woman asked her. "It looks like something you get out of a store, but it seems bizarre in origin." Gwen then took her beanie back and put it back on. "I just found it one day, when I was like seven."

"I don't think you should wear that, it doesn't suit you." the woman commented. "Shielding your thoughts from the future like that, must be your thing. When you hit pause on the world like that, your body slowly begins to rot away. Is that what you want to happen to you?"

Gwen suddenly began having flashbacks to her earlier nightmare while the woman returned to her car. "Sorry for being so out of the loop, but what's this about pausing the world and bodies rotting away?" Melody wondered. "Just so you know, I take full responsibility for your daughter hanging on by her life." the woman said before she turned to Gwen while putting on her shades. "Oh and by the way, careful of the woman on the Vespa. For your own good."

As the mystery woman drove off into the sunset, Arnold suddenly raced to his cousin's side. "The nerve of that crazy lady! Why does she think running people over will save their lives?! And what is she on about a woman on a Vespa?!"

"Who was she? And what's with her?" Gwen added morosely. "Even if she's kinda like a criminal, you have to admit she's got a cool car." Melody stated trying to look on the bright side. "Maybe I should have a word with the rest of the fam about her."

Later that night, Gwen sat in her bed gazing at her computer while Tyrone slept like a baby in his. "There's nothing I want to be. There's nothing I want to do." she silently monologued to herself. "I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero."

Suddenly she saw more flashbacks to her nightmare which caused her to quietly freak out and smack her keyboard. "Mmm, I am wood. Stupid." Tyrone mumbled in his sleep while snuggling his plush pig Waddles II. Suddenly the sirens of Medical Mechanica began blaring leading Gwen to gaze out the window. The girl saw nothing, except for a robot that burst through it and searched for her.

"S-sis? What's going o-" Tyrone yawned spotting just what was going on. "Don't worry, I'll save you!" he cried grabbing onto his sister's leg as the robot tossed them outside.

"Gwen, is everything alright sweetheart?" Wendy called turning on her & Dipper's bedroom light. "Mom! Dad!" Gwen cried for her parents before she and Tyrone made a run for it.

Meanwhile Dipper looked out the window to see what was going on until he spotted the cybernetic creature running amok and the spotlights on Medical Mechanica. "Oh God, here we go again!" he fretted rushing to the phone to call his beloved sister. "You reach Mabel Pines! Can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message-"

"Mabel, this is no time for your fake voicemail messages! My children are in danger!" Dipper shouted frantically on the other end. "Also, were you camping out by the phone just for that?"

"Yeah pretty much." Mabel replied earnestly. "Can you please go back to bed Mabel?" the Pines sister's wife Pacifica yawned grumpily. "Can't talk babe, gonna save my niece and nephew!" Mabel stated. "Good, and bring the scrapbook too!" Dipper ordered. "I think it's finally time we talked."

Later, Dipper pushed open the garage door to find a familiar Vespa resting near his car. "Been working on fixing this old thing for ages. Never took it for a spin until now." he muttered pulling out an Oxton brand cigarette to light up. "She left us one like her own when she left twenty years back; in case we changed our minds, until Stan broke it trying to escape some former old friends. Guess now must be a good time."

"Hey bro-bro, I made it!" Mabel cried hugging her brother from behind. "And I brought the scrapbook, just like you wanted!"

"Good, now let's save my kids." Dipper declared before the two hopped on the Vespa and sped off, leaving a trail of cigarette smoke behind them.

Meanwhile, Gwen and Tyrone continued running from the giant robot that was continuing to pursue them, tearing up various cars in its path until one made Arnold fly off its back and into Gwen's arms. "Gwen, Tyrone?! What are you doing so late?"

"We're just running from that thing!" Tyrone exclaimed pointing to the machine. "Could it be the same one the lady got outta you?"

"I have no idea either!" Arnold replied just as they passed the junkyard. "Wait, I got an idea! We can hide in here!" he said jumping out of her cousin's arms and climbing over the fence. "Come on!"

The three of them rushed to the nearest ramshackle hut that seemed like it hasn't been inhabited in years and hid indoors. Meanwhile the Bel-Air owner drove around town in search of the robot. "It's started to move, but which is it?"

"Didn't some crazy guy use to live here?" Tyrone asked quietly knocking on the metal wall. "Yeah, Professor McGucket! He's still living in the old Northwest Mansion, right?" Arnold followed up when Gwen shushed them both. The tentacled machine continued lumbering about searching for the three kids.

"Much like you guys, I have no idea what that thing is. I was only walking home and then it just showed up." Arnold said hyperventilating. "You were out this late too?" Gwen asked. "I had things to do!" the anxious cousin replied. "Though I feel like that thing came from my head."

The outside noises soon stopped, followed by the trio exiting the hut. "I think we may've lost him." Tyrone panted, glad that they were still alive. Gwen on the other hand got another flashback to her nightmare as the robot suddenly reappeared to attack once more. "Dangit, spoke too soon!"

"Oh good grief, what the hell's going on?!" Arnold screamed before the robot extended an arm in an attempt to grab Gwen, but her cousin took her place and tossed around the air before being smacked to the ground. "Hey robotman, you got the wrong Ahnold!" Tyrone challenged in a thick Austrian accent while picking up a nearby fencepost to fight with, but Gwen received more visions of a potentially grisly fate in the cards for the two boys.

Terrified, Gwen began groaning in pain as something acted up in her head while her beaning began glowing. Nearby, an orange-haired woman watched through some binoculars with a grin but then took notice of the Bel-Air and Dipper & Mabel speeding toward the junkyard.

In the nick of time, the mystery woman from earlier crashed her vehicle into the robot and revved her bass up like a chainsaw before giving it one fatal smack. The car skidded back onto the ground and the woman touched down with it. "I see now, that's how it is huh?"

"Don't worry sweetheart, we're coming!" Dipper cried as he and Mabel arrived too late, finding the robot already taken out and an unconscious Arnold being interrogated by a strange lady. "Aw man, we missed it! I was so ready to give that thing tetanus!" Mabel groaned in disappointment. "And who's she?"

"Hey, where is she? The one who pulled that out of you?!" the woman shouted shaking Arnold's body. "Is that you Great-Grandpa Auldman? I can see a light." Arnold groaned. "DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT ARNIE, YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!" Tyrone screamed just as Dipper grabbed his arm. "Answer me! You were hit, weren't you?" the woman continued. "Was it a woman on a Vespa?"

"V-Vespa?" Mabel stuttered turning to her brother, who just nodded and pointed at the scrapbook still on the seat of his motorbike, while the woman picked Arnold up. "Uh, hey." Dipper piped up. "Who are you? And is Arnold going to be okay?"

"I'm going to do what I can for his wounds." the woman said. "Now you two get the kids home safe." She began to walk away with Arnold over her shoulder when Gwen stopped her. "Wait a minute!"

"Oh by the way." the woman smiled taking off her shades to gaze at the other Pines with her red eyes. "That thing does look good on you. Nice."

As the woman drove off with Arnold by her side, Gwen looked at herself in a broken piece of glass to discover a red horn growing on her head. "Kinda reminds me of when I was your age." her father calmly declared putting a hand on her head. "Mabel, scrapbook."

"You got it Dips!" Mabel exclaimed handing Dipper an old scrapbook of summer memories from when they were Gwen's age. Blowing some dust off the cover as he sat down on the ground, he opened it and flipped to a section marked with an old photo of them with their great-uncles, Soos, a pink-haired young lady and a robot with a TV for a head. "Kids, we'd like you to meet Haruko Haruhara."

"What a funny name!" Tyrone commented sitting down on his aunt's lap. "I still remember when we first met her. We were searching for the grave of some ancient evil when she popped outta nowhere and beat Dipper with her guitar!" Mabel explained. "Then she decided to move in with us and become our live-in maid, though she barely did any maid work."

"What did she do instead?" Gwen asked. "She took our on all kinds of crazy adventures, like when we found a robot named Canti being worshipped as a god by Wendy & her friends, or the revenge trip she went on with Stan!" Dipper said flipping to photos of those times. "And let's not forget baseball!"

"But then we would learn about a Pirate King Haruko was searching for from this guy with big eyebrows. She wanted to find him to become super-powerful and also had a crush on the guy." Dipper added. "It turned out this weird dog thing Ford found played an important part in helping these Medical Mechanica guys smooth out everything, turning everyone into mindless zombies."

"You mean like in the movies" Yeah, definitely wouldn't be pretty!" Tyrone remarked. "So who was this Pirate King? Is it anything like that old pirate show Mr. Soos sings about?"

"Nope, this guy was far different!" Mabel answered. "He was a big space bird that had the power to steal entire solar systems! But Dipper, with help from Canti, was able to control his awesomeness which got Haruko super mad."

"But when all was said and done, she decided to ditch Earth to continue searching for him and even offered to bring us along." Dipper narrated flipping to one last page of a picture of him as a boy holding a bass guitar and gazing into the sky. "We declined so she left us her guitar and a Vespa in case we changed our minds. We thought that would be the last we would hear of her, until one day when we were just 18."

"Can you believe that we're literally adults now Dipper?!" an 18-year old Mabel exclaimed to Dipper as they rested on the rooftop of their Piedmont home. "The world around us has been changing so much! We have our own loves now, Soos & Melody have their first kids and the Stans are still out at sea."

"It's pretty scary, isn't it? To think that it seemed like yesterday when we first arrived in Gravity Falls." Dipper replied. "And all the summer adventures we had there too like fighting Bill, meeting the 8 1/2th president, that merman guy, the Society of the Blind Eye," Suddenly Dipper spotted something glowing red in the night sky. "Is that an Aurora Borealis?"

"Aurora Borealis in this part of the country at this time of day?" his sister skeptically responded. "It might as well be fireworks, or some other natural sky thing or-"

"Or she finally did it." Dipper declared standing up. "Who finally did it?" Mabel wondered before she finally realized what he was talking about. "Oh. Gotta say, for a complete maniac, she sure was determined. I'll give her that."

Meanwhile far above the Earth, Haruko had finally found the fearsome Pirate King Atomsk. She reached her hand out and at last absorbed him into her being. The Vespa Woman began shining a bright red just like the solar system thief before her body started acting up and the power of Atomsk split her in two.

Back on Earth in Gravity Falls, the Stan twins looked to the stars at the event taking place before their sixty-four year old eyes while the other Vespa Haruko had left behind rested on the side of the Mystery Shack.

"Whoa." the kids gasped in unison. "I really hope we can meet that Haruko! She sounds really cool!" Tyrone cheered bouncing up and down before Dipper stopped him. "I admire your enthusiasm son, but I suggest you stay far away from her if she has come back her." he cautioned. "Beneath her wily personality is a sociopath who can manipulate anyone to get her way. It happened to us, and we don't want it to happen to you."

"But what about that other lady with the glasses that took Arnold away? Could she be connected to Haruko as well?" Gwen wondered. "Maybe. She does use a guitar as a weapon like her." her aunt answered just as the twins began dozing off. "Aw, looks like you're both tuckered out."

"I'll take them both home." Dipper stated picking them both up and walking to the Vespa. "Same time tomorrow at the Mystery Shack?"

"You bet broseph." Mabel agreed. "See you in the morning light." With that, the twins parted ways back to their homes, Mabel to break the news about Arnold to Pacifica and Dipper to put his own children back to sleep.

The next day at the Mystery Shack, it was business as usual. However the robot from last night was still fresh in the minds of Gwen, Tyrone, Dipper & Mabel, especially the latter two who were being chewed out by Pacifica in regards to Arnold. "So you're telling me some psycho woman in a Bel-Air just kidnapped him, in the middle of the night?!"

"I'm so sorry this happened honey, but that lady did say she would take care of him." Mabel defended themselves. "But hopefully he can come back."

"Was that robot the same one she got outta Arnold's head earlier?" Juan asked Tyrone across the room. "I have no idea. But then just as my dad and aunt came to save us, this lady with the guitar beat it up all Quick Draw McGraw-like!" Tyrone explained. "And then Gwen got this horn on her head that Daddy said was like one that he got when he was her age."

"Wait, a horn? Is she turning into a rhino or a unicorn?" Jorge wondered. "Is your dad part unicorn too?!"

"Pretty sure he's not, but he and Aunt Mabel did talk to us about some lady they met who's connected to her horn." Tyrone said. "And she may or may not be connected to that lady who brained Arnold."

"That's good to know, but who is she?" Jorge asked, just as curious as his brother. "Where did she come from, why is she here?"

"No one knows for sure," Dipper suddenly butted into the children's discussion. "But Ford and I intend to find out!"

Just then Melody and Soos stepped into the gift shop. "Morning everyone!" the current proprietor of the tourist trap exclaimed. "Hey, can we pull Gwen and Tyrone aside for a bit? There's someone who wants to see them."

"Sure, you can take 'em. Just bring them back in time for the tourist rush!" Dipper accepted before Pacifica pulled on his jacket collar. "Oh no you don't Dipper, I still have some choice words for you about Arnold!"

As the former heiress let loose on the author's apprentice, Soos & Melody took the twins into the kitchen where a familiar face wearing a maid outfit was doing the dishes while breaking them. "Remember her? She decided to work for us as a way to say sorry for running you over Gwen!" Melody said. "Now say hi Jinyu."

The maid turned to the twins with a plate in her hands. "I'm Jinyu." Julia Jinyu stoically introduced herself. Despite the collected vibe she gave off, she then immediately snapped the plate in two.

"Morning everyone." Arnold sheepishly greeted while his face was covered in bandages, causing the Ramirez brothers to show concern. "What happened to you Arnold?!" Ian cried whirling his arms about. "You look like you've gotten into a freak accident!" Juan exclaimed. "Give us all the details."

"Well it all started last night when I was taken by a giant robot that was also chasing Gwen & Tyrone." Arnold explained. "We then hid in the junkyard where we were saved by this lady in a car who ran Gwen over earlier that day. After all that everything was kind of a blur, but I can tell you it was insane."

As Arnold finished, Gwen & Tyrone, Stan & Ford and the researcher from yesterday all entered the shop. "Well this is just one big coinky-dink." Stan commented. "We all managed to enter the room at the same time."

"And there's also something up with both that woman over there and the maid Soos hired." Ford added. "Both of them seem so familiar."

"Today, as you start on your understandably disastrous day as modern-day youth, I as someone who is the clear winner in life structurally, would like to present to you something very important." the female scientist declared grabbing everyone's attention, even other tourists getting an early start.

Gwen on the other hand paid no attention to anything except her text messages, which started as one person claiming he should have his chance at a girl now. "The this and that on how to live in the universe. All of you already know about it, as all days of your lives are like a test. Yes, you over there?"

"Uh..." Juan stammered puzzled. "Wrong answer." the woman continued. "I figured something out recently. Instead of preparing a concrete answer to random questions, I have come to the conclusion that there is no real way to live. Not for those of you who exist contently by only jerking your animalistic sexual urges to fulfillment, and you who have absolutely no skill to convince us otherwise."

Soon the messages started a stream of spelling errors that turned into a bizarre message of "FLCL." Gwen just muttered "fooly, cooly." as the scientist went on. "I gave so much, but there is very little output. I have no use for the tiny pieces of scumbags that have been toyed with. Listen to a genius: I have no desire for you all to wind up as nonexistent youth."

"What is she on about?" Stanley whispered. "I have no idea to be honest, but can you notice the subtle change in her voice?" Stanford answered. "Familiar, ain't it?"

"What I want is for all of you to become adults on a cosmological scale!" the scientist suddenly exclaimed, her change in tone startling everyone. "You don't need wings to go venture out into the universe. Who would ride a four-wheeled car with wings anyway? You must not be that kind of adult."

The other pairs of Pines twins became even more suspicious as she continued. "Do you hear me?!" the woman shouted as her pitch became more recognizable. "YOU DON'T NEED FOUR WHEELS! YOU ONLY NEED TWO! Like a bottom-feeding fish in a pond, gathering underneath a weeping willow tree! There's a lot of gravity underneath ALL OF YOU!"

Soon the messages turned into an endless stream of people saying FLCL despite Gwen not realizing what it meant. The woman started rambling in gibberish and made her declaration. "SO STAND UP! BE AS ADEQUATE AS YOU CAN!" A COMPLETE MESS!" She grabbed at her own face and tore it off like a mask, revealing the face of the Vespa Woman Haruko Haruhara underneath. "BORN TO BE MILD!"

The crowd started roaring, though emotions were mixed. The vast hypnotized majority were elated to see her, but the Pines were less than thrilled. Arnold, Gwen and Tyrone were stunned to finally meet that feared Vespa Woman, especially the latter two after their discussion with Dipper & Mabel last night, but the older twins were full on terrified.

"WHAAAAAT?!" Dipper and Mabel screamed with their eyes widening, jaws dropped and snot dribbling from their noses. "OOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD!" Stan exclaimed pressing his hands to his face. Ford on the other hand didn't scream at the top of his lungs, but rather stuttering at the sight of that girl back in Gravity Falls before collapsing in shock.

"That's right, the real one's finally appearing." Haruko announced with a sly wink and a grin.

And that is the first chapter of Fooly Falls 2! I hope you all enjoyed how I've adapted FLCL Progressive with my own flair to it along with the new major characters I created. Speaking of which, I've also got my imaginary list of voice actors for them.

Gwen Pines: Stephanie Sheh (Mamini Samejima, Orihime Inoue)

Tyrone Pines: Barbara Goodson (Naota Nandaba, Rita Repulsa)

Arnold Pines: Justin Briner (Izuku Midoriya, abridged Cloud Strife)

Ian Ramirez: Doug Erholtz (Jean-Pierre Polnareff, Squall Leonhart)

Leia Ramirez: Barbara Dunkelman (Yang Xiao Long)

Juan Ramirez: Danny Pudi (Huey Duck, Brainy Smurf)

Jorge Ramirez: Bobby Moynihan (Louie Duck, Panda)

Imelda Ramirez: Monica Rial (Tsuyu Asui, Bulma Briefs, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa)

Abby Ramirez: Grey DeLisle (Lily Loud)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work on the next chapter of this, start thinking up the finale of Gravity Soul and hide from some particularly vitriolic shippers. See you all again!

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andrewmoocow · 7 years ago

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Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 1: Meet Tony Stark (originally posted on November 19, 2017)

AN: Greetings everyone! My name is Lightyearpig, you may remember me from such stories like Fooly Falls and Clod on the Run. Today, I bring you an epic sequel to Clod on the Run focusing on the rest of the Marvel Universe that our heroes explore all leading up to a final showdown with the Mad Titan himself! I call it Steven Universe: Secret Wars! To clarify, this takes place after the events of Wanted as it will be shown in Chapter 3 of this part and Part 2. I plan on releasing Part 1 throughout the remainder of 2017 while I plan on beginning Part 2 in February 2018 to commemorate the release of Black Panther. I hope we have a fun ride together and now, on with the show!

"I am deeply sorry sir, but we're going to have to reject your offer due to numerous health complications, but I have to commend you on your patriotism." a recruitment officer said to one Steven Grant Rogers. It was December 1941, the height of World War II and America joining the fight against Adolf Hitler and Nazi Germany.

"Please sir, I beg you to give me a chance." Steve pleaded him. "You are ineligible on your asthma alone." the officer rebuked. "Well what can I do?" the young man wondered. "Just stay out of the war and save your own skin. I've recruited too many men that lost their lives out there and I don't want to do it again."

Walking out of the office, Steve looked down at his feet and started walking. He wondered how he could help his country regardless of his frail state, about how proud his parents would've been if he helped them win. Just then, he heard a voice coming from a nearby alleyway.

"Alright babe, if you're not gonna talk, guess I'll have to make you!" a common thug shouted. Thinking that sounded like trouble, Rogers rushed into the alley where he discovered a crook cornering a tall woman with fair skin, pink hair and a jacket over a white dress with a star on her stomach showing a strange stone.

"You leave her alone sir!" Steve called to the criminal, who turned around to eye him. "Oh yeah, and what you gonna do about that scrawny?" he asked grabbing Steve by the neck and slamming him against the wall next to the woman. "So any last words pal?" he said letting go of the young lad who put up his fists. "I could do this all day."

The brute started punching young Steve in various parts of his body like his face, torso, knee and arm before he picked up a trash can lid to use as a shield. "You think you're gonna protect yourself with that bub? Think again!" cried the scoundrel as he prepared to shoot him with a gun before the bullet was deflected by a large pink shape...belonging to the woman.

"You leave him alone!" she demanded pulling out a sword. "Oh, the big pink broad wanna fight me now? Well what ya waitin' for, bring it!"

"No, I refuse to fight you, but I won't let you hurt this man! Now leave or there will be consequences." the woman insisted and the criminal complied, running off like a coward. "Good Lord, that lady means business! I should get outta here before-" he worried before being cornered by a tall man in a military uniform. "Oh crap."

"Are you alright mister?" the woman asked Steve kneeling down to him. "I'm fine m'am, no need to worry." replied Steve as he struggled to get up, his wounds still fresh. "Here, allow me." she offered kissing him on the forehead, which instantly healed his injuries. "Whoa, thank you miss. I uh, didn't get your name."

"My name is Rose Quartz sir." the woman, now calling herself Rose, introduced herself. "Steve Rogers, glad to meet you." Steve replied shaking her hand. "Steve, I've been wondering where you were." a voice called out to him, its owner appearing to them.

"Bucky, good to see you here. I want you to meet Rose Quartz, I tried to help her against this jerk and-" Steve began to introduce Rose before his old friend Bucky Barnes interrupted him. "I actually am pretty familiar with Ms. Quartz. Plus she has an entourage as well."

As Bucky spoke, three other women came up from behind him. The first wore shades & had square hair, the second was shorter with purple skin and the third had peach-colored hair & a pointy nose. "Thank you helping us find Rose James." the third woman thanked Bucky. "You're very welcome Pearl."

"And I suppose you must be Steve Rogers." the square one said adjusting her eyewear to make the New Yorker appear in their reflection. "How did you know?" he asked. "Your friend told us about you. My name is Garnet." she answered.

"What up, I'm Amethyst." her shorter companion added. "And I'm Pearl." Pearl concluded. "So, Bucky told me you wanted to enlist in some war?" she wondered.

"That's right, World War II. All Adolf Hitler wants is to annihilate the Jewish people & conquer the world with an army of super-soldiers known as HYDRA. The United States have only recently joined the effort against them and started recruiting dozens of young men to fight."

"I still don't understand, why would humans be so hateful towards one another?" Rose lamented sorrowfully. "That's just how life is Rose. And that's why I've wanted to join." Steve answered with determination. "I like your spirit, but why?" Amethyst asked. "Because it's simply the right thing to do."

"Repeated monster attacks in seaside town, ocean disappears, giant green hand appears in Delmarva, missing person reports, local boy and donut shop employee abducted by aliens. Good grief, I wonder why the government hasn't gotten their hands on this town already!" a bearded man in a suit and sunglasses wondered examining various news articles on his tablet. This was Tony Stark, genius inventor and head of Stark Industries, one of the leaders of the technology industry. He was on a private jet headed for a little town in Delmarva called Beach City to investigate some recent events concerning alien lifeforms.

"Let me ask again Tony, why are we going to this place again?" his red-haired colleague and girlfriend Pepper Potts wondered. "That I can answer for you Pepp." Tony's chauffeur Happy Hogan replied. "We've gotten reports from S.H.I.E.L.D that those Guardians of the Galaxy weirdos have entered this town and brought an entire Chitauri invasion with them led by a cyborg tiger & a blue lady with a whip." he explained. "Woo, now that's something I'd never think I would say."

"Thanks for the exposition Happy, plus Fury did say he may know a thing or two about these four weirdos." Tony said as he pulled up the image the director of S.H.I.E.L.D sent him of the four beings, which Potts and Hogan examined with concern. "Is that white lady some kind of bird?" Pepper asked. "And why are they so brightly colored?" Happy added.

"Mr. Stark, we are about to touch down in Delmarva Airport. Everyone fasten your seatbelts." a robotic voice called to them. "Thanks J.A.R.V.I.S, looks like we better buckle up."

Upon finally touching down and exiting the plane, the three were immediately swarmed by photographers & news reporters with a single figure standing by himself next to a limo. "Ladies and gentlemen you won't believe it when you see it, but TONY STARK HAS COME TO DELMARVA!" Lawrence Abrams cried with excitement as he made a grand gesture towards Stark.

"Yes yes, it's awesome that I've come here." Tony announced. "But sadly I'm not here to talk with any of you."

"That's right sir." a voice rang out. Stepping in front of the crowd, the man wore a suit and sunglasses with slicked back hair and a S.H.I.E.L.D ID on his chest. "Oh hey, you must be Agent Kirby." Happy greeted him. "Good to see you too Hogan. Now Mr. Stark, come with me." Leading Tony and his companions to the limousine, he handed them a file as they stepped inside.

"I suppose you know your mission by now Mr. Stark, find these so-called 'Crystal Gems' and interrogate them on these recent happenings like the disappearance of the ocean, the giant hand and the abductions." he explained as they examined the file. "And it all takes place at this specific spot, Beach City."

"Wait, but it just looks like an average seaside town." Pepper stated raising an eyebrow. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong Virginia. Some of our top tech specialists have also been checking out a blog called Keep Beach City Weird that analyzes the strange happenings in this town." Kirby said with a charismatic grin. "Among the data gathered were signals being interrupted by a transmission from a green alien creature." He pulled out a photo of said creature from the folder, revealing it to the trio as a being with a triangular head and a green shape on her forehead. Tony just started laughing like a maniac.

"OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT YOU SAID A GREEN ALIEN CREATURE, NOT A GIANT NACHO!" he guffawed. "Anthony, be serious here!" Kirby demanded. "Alright, I'll stop."

"Mr. Kirby, we're here." the driver stated as he pulled into Beach City. "Well, best of luck to all of you." the S.H.I.E.L.D agent said as he opened the door. "And be sure to bring me some souvenirs!"

Exiting the vehicle, the little town was quiet for a few moments. Maybe too quiet. "Are you sure this is the right place?" Happy wondered. "I'm not sure, the file said this is the spot. Maybe we should ask around." Tony replied before he was suddenly swarmed by what seemed to be the townsfolk, screaming his name and asking for his autograph.

"Yo, can I have your autograph Mr. Stark?! Asking for a few friends of mine!" a teenage boy asked him. "I can't believe it, THE Tony Stark in Beach City! Can't wait to tell Quentin about this!" a large dark-skinned man hollered in excitement. "Everyone please, there's enough of me for this entire town." Stark grinned.

"What, and no love for Harold Hogan?" Happy complained before he noticed a little boy giving him a thumbs up. "See, he knows my worth!" he added.

"Alright everyone, give me some space. I got a job to do." Tony said before one last fan made himself known. "Mr. Stark, wait for me!" he shouted shoving the other citizens out of the way and extending his hand to the billionaire. "Ronaldo Fryman, at your service!"

"Here's hoping this guy is the last one." Tony mumbled to himself as he shook his hand. "So how may I help you young man?" he asked.

"I am one of your biggest fans Mr. Stark, if there is anything you need, I'm here!" Ronaldo exclaimed. "Maybe I could hook you up with some of my family's famous fry bits or show you my blog!"

"Oh yeah, speaking of your blog that's partially the reason I'm here." Tony explained pulling out his phone and showing Ronaldo the picture of the four individuals. "Looking for these guys here, you know them?" he wondered.

"Yeah, they're Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems. They're pretty much local celebrities." Ronaldo answered. "They live down the coast in a beach house near the Big Donut."

"Thanks for the directions kid. Pepper, Happy, handle the mob for me." Tony announced as he went on his way. "Okay, see you later Tony." Pepper said waving goodbye. "Wait, you didn't sign my tablet yet!" Ronaldo shouted trying to catch up to him but failed.

Walking along the shore, Tony took in the peaceful beachside scenery of the warm sun above him, the calm ocean rolling on the sand and the rock formation beside him until he came across a small beach house situated under a large statue of a woman with multiple arms. "Whoo, whoever carved this must have a fine eye for beauty!" he proclaimed walking up the building's steps. He arrived at the door and knocked on it.

He crossed his arms as he waited for someone to answer. "Whoever lives here must be takin' their sweet time." he thought before he heard the front door open. Looking down, he saw a boy with curly hair wearing a pink T-shirt with a star on it looking up at him.

"Hello there sir, may I help you?" he asked. "Yeah, name's Tony Stark. You wouldn't happen to be one Stephen Quasar, wouldn't you?"

The boy gasped in awe. He may have gotten his name wrong, but standing before him was none other than Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. "No sir, my name is Steven Universe."

And so it begins boys, girls and everyone else. How will the Crystal Gems react to a legend meeting their young ward? What does S.H.I.E.L.D have planned for our geode gang? Is there a sinister plot brewing right under their noses, or in this case over their planet? Find out next time on Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 2, Assembled We are Strong! Thank you all for reading this first chapter but for now, here's a little taste of one story to come.

A sound soul

Dwells within a sound mind

That trusts no one

GRAVITY SOUL: COMING SOON

#steven universe #marvel comics #the avengers #fanfiction #crossover #steven universe secret wars #steve rogers #rose quartz #garnet #amethyst #pearl #bucky barnes #tony stark #pepper potts #happy hogan #steven quartz universe

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