#food no jutsu op

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

r/tau40k is getting creative with the reveals it seems...

[hellbubu]

If you don’t like what I post, filter tags and block me. I’m not gonna argue with anyone.

Your girl is back and sleepy as fuck. Any mistakes are due to me being eppy. No, I won't correct shit.

I'm not a manga reader, but I'll place a bet. I bet he's like a newly improved bizarre doll or smth. I know Undertaker is involved (the OP kinda hints at it with the chain lockets. Even if Ciel has it, I associate it w/ Undertaker) and I know all that hair won't fit in the hat, so it can't be Undertaker.

What fucking jutsu did he use? Go get some training from Kakashi, Ciel, you lack speed.

They're so fucking extra. They're already in a room alone and talking so freely but about this? Nah, Seb needs to get closer to Bocchan. I bet that's the only reason he got closer to whisper.

Ah, Ciel used the Sexy Jutsu. I lost almost all respect for him. I dislike this jutsu (as well as the sexy male harem one).

Erwin, just hit with the left side or smth. IDK how this sport works, but I'm sure there are other fucking options 😭😭😭😭

This does actually work. I use it all the time.

Fuck you, bitch. But also, thank you for stopping the sexy jutsu.

I love how Sebastian is just running around dressed like a butler and no one says shit

This bitch is moving way too fast. Does Undertaker have this doll on drugs??? I doubt it. If that's Undertaker I swear to fucking God-

Ciel asks Iida to jump, and Iida doesn't even ask how high, he just jumps. Ciel has all of them wrapped around his finger.

Violet 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

This is my favorite JoJo pose.

Maybe the Headmaster was the friends we made along the way. Or maybe Undertaker used a doll so old, it turned to dusk when Sebastian touched it.

Ciel really is that bitch. He's starting to earn back my respect.

Bless your heart. Erwin, they are bending the fucking rules to win. Also, how the fuck is anyone supposed to see his hands??

They're also done with him.

TF are they feeding these kids???? Radioactive food to give them superpowers??? Like, did their chef just feed them whatever Hulk or some other here eats??

He did it on purpose. I love Ciel so much. That's like a new level of manipulation.

Y'all, your teammate is fucking bleeding. Get your priorities in order.

Take him to the doctor!!!! MY baby boy was bleeding!!!!!

[starstuffduster]

ALL OF THIS IS SO GOOD. ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT

I thought of it all day and ended up coming away with a couple of silly thoughts of my own lmao

first, I kept wondering the ways Tobirama could help Madara win battles. I do like the idea of him going on war history buff forums and asking for tips, but tbh, that runs into a couple of issues: first, a lot of those people will have their own (mutually exclusive) pet theories and favorite strategies and such that they're SURE are going to work; and second... none of them have likely ever seen a battlefield, much less lived through the conditions of an ancient one.

and, much as I love Tobirama and how badass and competent he is, neither has this one. he wouldn't be able to win battles right away, which is what Madara needs right now. and he shouldn't HAVE TO, because Madara and Izuna are incredible commanders in their own right!

previous posters and op already realized the absolute game changer that he COULD offer, though, and would be pretty badass on its own, which would be... information. it's been a LONG time so that information will be very hard to find in some cases, and probably take a lot of extrapolating and guessing, but. Tobirama is really smart! I think he could piece together a LOT of incredibly crucial information such as enemy troops, possible enemy plans in the works, enemy reinforcements on their way, supplies such as roughly how much food and ammo they've likely got available, etc etc

that's the kind of intel battles and wars are won and lost on

a SECOND and much more dramatic way to have Tobirama influence Madara's wars would be...

just add chakra!

not shinobi haha. just chakra.

Tobirama, being, well, himself, probably still invents jutsu and such. and he'd probably be able to invent even more (and scarier) jutsu for war purposes, if Madara needed him to. but he very definitely has already invented the Kage Bushin, which btw, is absolutely bullshit for how insanely useful it is.

sending his techniques to Madara adds the double elements of drama and sacrifice: both that he's starting to invent horrors for the sake of someone he'll never see... and the fact that from the moment he sends these techniques back, he'll never be known as the inventor behind these techniques.

they've existed long before him, from the moment he decides it to be so.

(maybe some of them even become famous Uchiha exclusive techniques?)

***

ALSO!!! a thing that would be hard to work into the story, but I think might be a fun epilogue reveal or something lol

re: Tobirama having to suppy an army; therefore having to sell Madara's offerings of art, and jewelry, and such, to raise money to suppy the army; therefore having to find the highest possible offer from a buyer for all that random high value weirdness coming through

I don't think a museum would be able to supply him with enough money, and anyway as @sanska pointed out, everything would be too NEW to read as centuries much less millenia old artifacts

which means, as per @oh-no-its-bird, Orochimaru the "private collector" ends up under the impression that Tobirama, somehow, has access to a way to get perfect historical reproductions. because SOMEONE has reproduced the materials AND the techniques AND the conditions and everything PERFECTLY. several times. in several different pieces of different professions

Orochimaru is definitely the kind of too well connected person that both gets extremely pushy, and makes use of illegal means when he wants to

and Tobirama, as smart and overprepared as he tends to be, is also a random student from the normal side of life, so I very much doubt that any precautions he took before starting to sell the stuff were enough

which means they track him down

I think that because the chest is Magic, they might try to take it away -- or, much more likely, Tobirama himself gets kidnapped, only to find the chest follows him around whoops

(whenever he sleeps on a bed, he wakes up with the chest somehow, through a series of random and unlikely incidents, having gotten transported to somewhere very close to where he's sleeping. often next to his bed or outside his door)

anyway. what's important here is that Tobirama gets kidnapped, and very quickly has to learn to unkidnap himself, because exams! are just around the corner!

which is when they go after his family instead.

Hashirama: has been getting around the gambling dens, and into trouble, way longer than anybody ever knew (and getting drunk with all sorts of odd people even longer),

Kawarama: turns out to be part of at least three underground clubs of some sort, with interchangeable shady members (he's an adrenaline junkie, which is how he got those scars on his face so young),

Itama: has been helping out ALSO shady people with shady wounds, and not asking questions, pretty much since he got his hands on enough disinfectant (he blames Kawarama for all the practice he's gotten)

Touka: is just always down to smack a bitch

what I'm SAYING is that, in some very specific and very crackworthy timeline, by the time modern day too-powerful bigshot Madara meets the godperson he's dreamed about all his life, the underworld has been crying for. a while now. where did these impossible weirdoes COME FROM. can they go back now, please. the rumors are getting ridiculous

(then the Senju find out Madara, due to his "dreams", is the one that has been buying up Tobirama's "antique reproductions".)

Fic based off of the cdrama 'she is a god: love with an ancient general'

Where modern AU Tobirama inherits some ancient chest that acts as a little time travel mail box to the ancient warlord Uchiha Madara, who is only days from death where he and his army are trapped inside the walls of their own city.

After Madara dumps some bloodied bandages into the chest, it is transported to Tobirama's time, shooting out the top. Tobirama replies by trying to wash the pot out— only for the water to seemingly go nowhere, and a correspondence begins.

Madara mistakes Tobirama for a god, and Tobirama attempts to help Madara win the war from his side of the timeline by sending food, weapons, and hints of what may be yet to come as he studies the few crumbs of Madara's history that remain today— which becomes more complex as Tobirama sees history change in real time, corresponding with each new battle won and day lived where Madara should have died.

The fic ends w them never meeting but Tobirama going to a museum where he finds statues of both his and Madara's likeness (his own borrowed from a photo he sent upon Madara's request)

Madara is recorded in history as an incredibly devout man who never took any spouse and was for all intense and purposes recorded as terribly in love with the god he worshipped

[c-atm]

G-squared: The genin exam

Hello!" Steven cheered at the five in front of him. Connie, Daniel, Patricia, Peedee, and Jeff sat in a wilderness-like area created by the C.A.R ( Customizable Alternative Reality) orb.

"This magitech is amazing," Jeff started, amazed,

"It is a portable gem room..along with other things," Connie declared proudly before turning to Steven," Nice hat and robes, Mister."

"Thank you," Steven smirked, giving a small puff of his pipe, blowing a bubble.

"Yeah, you are looking kind of important there, Steve," Danny smirked.

"That's because I am the Kage of the village hidden in the Diamond! Hidden in the land of gems; The DaiyamondoKage."

"Oh my God, we're doing Boruto!" Tricia exclaimed

"That or Boruto's dad Shippuden." Peedee quipped. "So, which number are you?"

"The fifth, all nepotism." Steven nodded coolly.

"So you're the one percent!" Jeff pointed, "time to pull a coup."

That got a laugh out of everyone before Steven spoke again.

"So, you guys are-"

"Anbu, black ops." Connie interrupted with a smile.

"Freshly made child-labor…." Steven counted, "also known as Genin...You're about 12-13 in this."

"13…" Jeff answered, "That Anbu age in the leaf."

"This isn't the leaf village. ANBU: Crystal gems gotta be at least 15 here."

"Where our headbands?" Danny inquired.

"They ain't made yet." Steven shrugged," anywho, you guys are team 265.2"

"Wait, what? How many people graduated this year?!" Jeff screamed," and why is there a point two?"

"Enough, and you and Peedee are the point two."

"What the hell?"

"Stop pausing the scenario!" Steven ordered.

"Ok, so what are we going to do here, Daikage?" Connie chuckled.

"Right. You five are gonna be tasked with meeting your sensei at the entrance of the wilderness of the lost."

"Wait?" Trica exclaimed.

"What?" Peedee added.

"Guessing we are currently in the wilderness of the lost?" Connie joked.

"As expected from the heiress of the Maheswaran family, carrier of the Maheswarigan."

"Hell yeah! Kekkei Genkai!" Connie raised her gust with a laugh, "So what do my eyes do?!"

"Now, what makes you think it's an eye Jutsu?"

"Sharingan, Rinnegan, Tenseigan, Byakugan…"

"Her sight is 'gan,' all 'gan!'" Tricia yelled in jest as she and Connie laughed.

"W-what the fuck?" Peedee laughed.

"Calm down; all will be revealed In time.." Steven smiled, "So as we stated, we have Connie Maheswaran of the Maheswarigan. Next, puppet user Jeff of the sand."

"Ey! Puppet master on deck!" Jeff cheered, "What my puppet looks like, Dai-kage?!"

Steven grinned, tossing Jeff a doll.

"OH, Screw you, Universe." Peedee kissed his teeth, holding back a laugh, looking at the Frybo plush in Jeff's hand.

"Horrifying power!" Jeff roared out, chuckling.

"Speaking of Peedee, we have Peedee Frymichi."

"FRYMICHI!?" Peedee shook his head, "let me guess, soldier pills?"

"Soldier fries, but you also have body temperature Jutsu, which allows you to increase or decrease your body temperature to superhuman degrees."

"I…" Peedee shrugged. "I have no retort; that's actually pretty cool."

"See... Next, we have Patricia of the sound."

"So we have both a sound and sand on the same team. Where do you get these kids from?" Danny laughed.

"You don't need to know what a Kage does." Steven retorted, "above your pay grade."

"Daikage, what can I do?" Patricia inquired with a smirk. "What, my Jutsu?"

"You play the triangle."

"A~and?"

"Umm." Steven shrugged, " I don't know. I leave it to you."

"Oh, that bull." The bespectacled woman turned her lips, "Everyone else got an explanation of their special Jutsu, and all I get is ' triangle. '"

"Still don't know what my eyes can do," Connie muttered.

"You have a bloodline limit! You don't get to complain."

"I gave you free rein to make your own ability, be happy." Steven countered, "last we have D of the Cloud."

"Is anybody literally from this village!?." Danny questioned.

"Not a single one of you, anywho..." Steven answered smugly, "You guys make up Team 265.2."

"265.2!?" Connie laughed.

"The further this scenario goes, the more questions it raises." Jeff exclaimed, "Why is the number so high, and why isn't a full number?"

"...You guys are tasked," Steven started ignoring the question, getting howls and laughter of opposition from the group, "Your kage is talking!"

"I was stolen from my village. I refute your leadership!" Jeff yelled.

"Never asked to be a ninja; I wanted to be a fry cook." Peedee wailed, "my parents wanted me to be a nin!"

"I got a triangle. Diii~iing!" Tricia taunted.

"I was told this was a student exchange program," Danny complained.

"I was told money was involved." Connie started, "plus tragic anime backstory shit."

"I will send you all back to the academy!" Steven challenged.

"Go ahead, do it!" Peedee challenged, starting a chorus of disobedience from the rest towards Steven, who rubbed his head to keep from laughing.

"All right, Alright, Steven...Daikage-Sama." Connie batted her eyes in flirtatious teasing, "how does this work?"

"See, at least one of you is grateful."

"I'm happy to be out of the dungeon."

The rest looked at her, a bit horrified.

"I am going for tragic anime character; stop judging me."

“I...Don’t have a dungeon.” Steven stated, chuckling, “But that is neither here nor there. Now ninjas need to be both smart and strong. The lost shall test that, for you are tasked with getting out of the wilderness and back to the village within nine hours or turns. Actions also cost hours, as do hints... If you fail, you will not be recognized as ninjas and…." He let it hang.

"What?"

"You'll find out…."

"Ohhh!..I'm not too fond of that...I don't like that at all." Jeff snorted while chuckling.

"Just don't fail. Hehe. Now to begin, you guys need to make a decision. North. south, east, or west.”

“Where do each lead?” Danny inquired.

“Where indeed?”

“We’re going west,” Connie stated.

“Hold on, why do you get to make the decision?”

“Because I'm from this place, Cloudie.”

“I say we go north,” Patricia stated.

“Naw, let’s go south.” Jeff challenged.

“My nose says we go east..” Peedee offered,” Where’s there’s food, there are people.”

“Frybo and I say south.”

“My Maheswarigan is showing me the way, and it’s west.”

“My triangle rings to the northern border.”

Steven just laughed at their arguing.

“It doesn't matter, does it?” Daniel scratched his chin, looking at Steven, who just shrugged,

"Choose wrong, and you waste an hour."

''...We're going north."

"That two for north, two for the south."

"Two for sou~? YOU'RE COUNTING THE PUPPET VOTE!?" Peedee yelled.

"Hey, Frybo is a part of the 265.2." Jeffed defended the doll

"Frybo is a puppet from hell, deserving to be cast into the deepest fryer in the nine hells!" Peedee pointed. "I'm saying north just out of spite."

Steven stood looking at Connie to see if she changed her vote. "Well...You go north, moving deeper into the Lost ." Steven announced as the area scene shifted and darkened.

"See!? We should have gone south! Now we lost an hour." Jeff yelled, "Follow Frybo. For he knows the way."

- riiiing-riiiing-

"The hell is that?" Connie asked, a bit annoyed at the ringing.

"Doesn't matter; we're heading south," Jeff stated.

"You guys heading south?" Steven questioned, getting nods all around. "You head south...and find yourself back here."

- riiiing-riiiing-

"Now we are down to eight hours!" Danny yelled.

"Just saying if we went south, we would be halfway home."

"I'm pressing X to doubt." Peedee poked Jeff's cheek.

- Riiiing-Riiiing-

"What the hell is that ringing?!" Danny yelled,

"Wanna hint?" Steven asked,

"Can we get hints?" Jeff inquired,

"Did you not pay attention...Yes, hints cost an hour as Jutsu." Steven sighed

"Please, hint us!"

"You suuure…? It Costs an hour."

- Riiiiiiiing-Riiiiiiiing-

"Oh, God. It's getting more piercing...Give us a hint!"

"What are the three types of Jutsu?" Steven grinned.

"Nin, Tai, and…" Connie turned to Tricia, " Play with your triangle."

"Wow, beautiful phrasing, "  Tricia laughed.

"Oh my Shiva! Get your head out of the gutter and dispel the Genjutsu."

"So demanding too." Tricia chuckled more before ringing her instrument with a -Diiingg-diinnng!- The area lit up three paths were shown to the crew.

" North, West, or East?" Steven grinned, "since you used a hint and dispelled the Genjutsu, you lost two hours...Soo six hours left."

"OH my God, we blew through nearly half our time already!" Connie rubbed her temples. " Can I use my special eyes, Mister Daikage?" Connie batted her eyes.

"You wanna use the Heartful glance." Steve chuckled, " Ok, so for this game, you can use your eyes twice since you have two."

"Ingenious." Peedee taunted.

"That's why your parents' food shop failed to feed the Akimichi appetite," Steven noted nonchalantly.

"Wow, Daikage is petty,' Peedee blinked before the group started to laugh.

"Anyway, two times for your special eyes, your right eye grants your guys an auto turn. No hour lost. Right answer only."

" Oh shit, that..that's a bit OP for this." Jeff  stated, "What does the right eye do?"

"Best to save that for later, hehe."

"Shit, I'm using the left Maheswarigan," Connie announced with pride.

"You go east." The area shifted again as Steve spoke, this time displaying a creek and two paths. One of wood, and the other wildflowers in bloom. "So you guys can take a chance with the creek. Drink the water, try to fish...Set up camp..replenish yourself before moving on."

"Wait, wait...Why do you say chance , as if something horrible can happen? "

"Because everything can lead to death in the ninja world."

"If you don't have Talk-no-Jutsu," Danny interjected.

"I mean, yeah, that is the most powerful skill in Naruto." Tricia nodded, "allows him to hold the world hostage."

"Wait, what?" Peedee questioned.

"Thank you, I know I couldn't be the only one thinking that." Danny exclaimed, "that's the only reason I can see Orochimaru not getting fucked up every day."

"Cause of Naruto? How does that work? "

"Discuss the fucking loophole that is the sound and leaf shadow relationship on your own time!" Steven clapped, getting their attention.

"Ok, so how is this gonna work?" Peedee inquired.

"Depends, what you're going to do...Going to rest, or going to move on? If you stay..you have a chance to stock another free turn, via Connie getting to use her left eye again if...and I'll even throw in the chance of making this a free turn, if things go your way."

"Yo, camping out. Risk it for the biscuit." Danny offered.

"Hold on...Steven, what if we fuck up." Tricia narrowed her eyes.

"If it is bad, you lose two hours. If it is not so bad, it's a normal turn."

Connie pursed her lips and turned to the others, "risk it?"

The group nodded.

"So you're resting. Ok, So, are you going to drink...or are you gonna try to fish? If you try to fish, that's a chance for a free turn and Connie's left eye."

"Which also can lead us to lose two hours if we mess up."

"Yup. Just drinking can grant Connie her eye...If you don't mess up."

"And how do we mess up drinking at a creek?" Jeff taunted.

"Coin flip." Steven grinned, showing a coin app on his phone " fishing is a bit more complicated; you have to choose the right teammates to get fish and prepare the fish, plus a coin flip, but two free hours."

"We're fishing." Connie challenged, "Ninjas need to be fearless." The group nodded in agreement.

"OK, Who's fishing?"

The group stood before looking at each other.

"I would like to remind you that previously used Jutsu can't be used for at least three hours unless replenished. So Tricia's triangle is currently unavailable until the next turn."

"Well, thought she could Genjutsu the fish." Jeff stated, "What does Connie's right eye do?"

"...Sure you wanna use the right Maheswarigan, now?"

"...Not anymore," Peedee stated, seeing Steven's evil grin. "We're gonna pocket that."

"Jeff, use Frybo to get us some fish, puppet man." Connie smacked her friend back.

"Yeah! Puppeteer, that bitch." Peedee added.

"Puppeteer, that bitch." Jeff shook his head, chuckling, "Steven, I puppeteer the bitch to get the fish."

"That's gonna stick." Steven smirked, "that being said...Good choice. Frybo enters the creek and gets a fish for each member of the team. A.K.A Jeff puppeteered the bitch and got ya some fish."

"Steven swear! Not a G-Squared ep without one." Tricia laughed, pumping her fist.

"Ok, so who gonna-"

"Peedee." The group stated.

"Me, food is my specialty." Peedee  smirked, "and I use my body temperature Jutsu for cooking the fish."

"Fair enough...I was hoping you messed up." Steven shrugged, "but naw, you got your free turn, and Connie got her Jutsu."

"My special eyes!" Connie roared, "Full power!"

Ok, so you guys ate, you're replenished." Steven grinned, "Wildflowers or Woodlands?  Where we going?

The group looked at each other.

" Woodlands," Connie stated.

"Why would you choose Woodlands over wildflowers? Look at them dark, horrifying woods…." Peedee argued.

"The wildflowers could be a lie...LIE, I SAY!"

"This is some tragic anime story shit. We're going through wildflowers." Tricia stated.

"I'm with Connie on this one; it's definitely  woodlands." Danny nodded her a high-five, "what you say, Jeff, flowers or woods."

" I sayyy…"

_________________________

Steven: And that is where we end this episode. What happened next, do they become genin of my village...SSSHHH~HMMM. That will be seen, but until you next time, G-squared Breakout. Oh, and remember, in life you sometimes have to puppeteer the bitch and get ya some fish.

[myaekingheart]

(I saw this trend going around on Facebook and just wanted to do a little something with it for Kakashi + Rei 💕) 

#Valentines Share your story! Valentine’s Day is coming! 

Here’s our story:

How’d you guys meet? “We grew up next door to each other” Kakashi smiled. “Our parents were friends, so we were friends.” 

First Date: “I think our first official date” Rei started, “was Kokana Grill, that super fancy hibachi place.” Her cheeks blushed as she shook her head and laughed. “You were really trying to win me over, weren’t you?” 

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I just wanted to take you someplace nice is all.” 

How long have you been together: Rei snorted. “Officially, or in general?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lost count.” 

Furrowing his brows, Kakashi counted on his fingers before answering, “Six years dating, right?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine” Rei replied. 

Age difference: “I’m two and a half years older” Kakashi replied. 

Who was interested first: Rei and Kakashi blinked and looked at each other quizzically. They honestly weren’t quite sure. “Well, I know I’ve cared about you since I first met you” the Copy Ninja started slowly, “But we were just kids.” 

“I always hoped we’d end up together, even back then” Rei replied. “But I don’t know when I started feeling that way. I think I just always did. But again, we were kids, so it wasn’t quite the same.” 

“Well, when you joined the ANBU” Kakashi continued, “I had feelings for you, but I definitely had a hard time accepting them until that training mission gone south at the Forest of Death.” 

“I think that was when I realized you still cared about me” Rei nodded. “You remembered Aisuruhito, and you looked at me differently that day.” 

Kakashi smiled softly at the memory, then snapped back to reality. “So, to answer your question, I’d say we were both interested at the same time.” 

Who is taller: “Him” Rei grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest and pouting. 

Who said I love you first: “Also him” Rei answered, her face now softening. 

Most impatient: Without a single word, Kakashi pointed to his fiancée. Rei grimaced up at him and slapped him playfully on the arm. 

Most sensitive: “I think the answer to the last question is significant enough evidence for this one” Kakashi joked. 

Loudest: Brushing the long bangs back out of her face, Rei pursed her lips and replied, “One time when I was, like, fourteen, someone called the cops on me because I was too loud and they thought I was being kidnapped. So I’m going to say it’s probably me.” 

Most Stubborn: Kakashi wrapped an arm around Rei as he replied, “Rei is one of the most resilient and steadfast women I’ve ever met. She doesn’t give up no matter what. The fact that she took her lack of support and used it to fuel her progression as a kunoichi, and not only that but progress all the way to captain of the ANBU black ops, is incredibly admirable.” Rei’s cheeks burned as she buried her face in his chest, flattered. 

Falls asleep first: “I feel like it’s probably Kakashi” Rei answered. “But we’re both pretty weird when it comes to sleep.” 

Kakashi nodded. “I think it’s safe to say we both have some insomniac tendencies.” 

Cooks better: “Oh god, absolutely Kakashi” Rei enthused. “He’s tried to teach me his ways but I’ll never be as good in the kitchen as him.” 

Better morning person: “I’d say Kakashi” Rei replied. “He runs late for everything, but he’s way better at getting up early than I am. I’ve overslept so many damn times, sooner or later Lady Tsunade is just going to confiscate the snooze button from me.” 

Most competitive: “Definitely Rei” Kakashi chuckled. “Again, she never gives up until she gets what she wants. She definitely gets heated in battle.” 

Rei tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and averted her gaze. “I mean...I do have to admit that my temper is a little shorter than average.” 

Funniest: “Kakashi is a lot funnier than he gets credit for” Rei replied. “He seems really cool and serious but when we’re alone, he has me in stitches. He’s really good with situational humor.”  

Where do you eat out most as a couple? “Maybe Ichiraku, or that takeout place around the corner” Kakashi replied. 

“Their subuta is really delicious” Rei added. “It’s one of my favorite comfort foods.” 

Who is more social? “We’re both pretty introverted” Rei replied. “We don’t really go out much, unless it’s with Sekkachi and Guy.” 

“I’d say we both have a good amount of friends, though” Kakashi continued. “But with jobs like ours, we make a lot of connections.” 

Who is the neat freak? “I am, admittedly, a total slob” Rei confessed. “I wouldn’t say Kakashi is a neat freak, necessarily, but he definitely does a much better job of keeping our place clean than I do.” 

“You’re getting better, though” Kakashi smiled. “You’ve improved a lot since we moved in together.” 

Where was your first kiss? Kakashi laughed awkwardly. “It was on the roof of our old apartment building” he replied.

“It was all very romantic” Rei laughed. 

Who initiated your first kiss? Rei paused for a moment before hesitantly answering “...Pakkun.” 

“Yeah...all the ninja hounds, really” Kakashi added.

Do you get flowers often? “Sometimes” Rei replied. “I really love flowers, but I also take them a lot more seriously than other girls do, I think.” 

“Rei has this incredible jutsu” Kakashi started, and Rei’s heart swelled at the love in his eyes as he explained. “She tethers others chakras to different plants as a way to keep tabs on her loved ones. Because of the chakra link, the flowers can reflect that person’s morale, so if someone is in danger or sick, the flowers will start to wilt and Rei will know that something is wrong. Likewise, if the flowers are thriving, she’ll know that whoever’s chakra is tethered to that plant is thriving, too.” 

“I don’t do this stuff for just anyone, though” Rei continued. “So I treat flowers really carefully and am really specific on what kinds are assigned to who. Hanakotoba and all that good shit. It’s, uh...it’s kind of complicated, I guess.” 

How long did it take to get serious? “We’ve had some ups and downs” Rei admitted, “But after a brief break-up, I think it was only a few months later that Kakashi proposed.” 

Kakashi nodded, taking Rei’s hand in his. “I knew that I couldn’t afford to lose her ever again.” 

Plans date night? “Definitely Kakashi” Rei replied. “He’s better at sorting everything out than I am. If I had it my way, we’d be ordering takeout in our underwear every night.” 

“Which, by the way” Kakashi interjected, “Is also a very valid dinner plan.” 

Rei rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath, “You just like any excuse to see me with my pants off.” 

Who picks where you go to dinner? “It’s a mutual decision” Kakashi said. “It depends on what we’re both in the mood for.” 

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? “I’d say Kakashi” Rei replied. “I feel like it can be really hard for me to own up to my mistakes, even if I feel really guilty about fucking shit up.” 

Who wears the pants in the relationship? Rei smirked and shook her head, her cheeks reddening. “If you ask me, I think we both prefer our pants off” she joked. Kakashi’s face turned beet red under his mask. 

Who cries more? “I’d say I do” Rei replied. “I think in general I’m just a lot more emotional, or at least outwardly.” 

Who sings better? “Definitely Kakashi” Rei immediately answered. “He secretly has a great voice.” 

Spends the most? “I think we’re both pretty good about finances” Kakashi said. “There isn’t much we buy for ourselves outside of books.” 

“Though you would spend a ton of money on anything Icha Icha” Rei replied, poking Kakashi playfully in the cheek. 

Did you go to the same school? Rei nodded. “We both went to the academy, but not at the same time. He had already graduated by the time I started.” 

Where is the furthest you two have traveled? “We’ve gone to lots of places for work” Rei replied, “But I can’t really remember the furthest we’ve ever travelled.” 

“It can be hard to keep track” Kakashi admitted.

Read more about Kakashi and Rei in The Scarecrow and the Bell. 

[peepingtoad]

Speaking of Toad Flatness — Shadow Manipulation Technique:

Crazy how this jutsu is kinda like a Yamanaka jutsu and a Nara jutsu got mashed together, when you think about it (which I only did Just Now pff)!

Of course, the limitations in terms of Jiraiya’s shadow manipulation here is that its longevity only goes as far as his ability to hold his breath rather than his chakra pool (which would be way too OP), and the mind control element is also not as hardcore as a Yamanaka’s in that he can’t access the mind so much as hijack it to control speech and movement (again, would be way too OP if he could pry for intel)... but this leads me to believe that he was actually pretty purposeful in drawing inspiration from Konoha’s clans for a few of his jutsu in his younger years.

Of course, the clans are pretty secretive about their techniques, so aside from growing up alongside peers from said clans and watching what they do, it’s not exactly as if he could find concrete info on them very easily. However...

This is where my headcanon about his work on standardised sealing formulae comes in, and perhaps just a little magic touch of favouritism that comes from being Sandaime’s own student comes into play alongside that. Being so involved in creating seals and training materials that would be used by the whole village, Jiraiya will have had access to many areas of the Konoha archives, and in doing so perhaps stumbled on enough documentation about the basic theories behind certain clan jutsu to come up with his own versions, despite not having the teachings that would make them as crazy-powerful as those who learn within the clan itself.

And with regards to Toad Flatness, it may well sound like it’s a toad-themed jutsu by nature, trained to him by the Toads of Myōbokuzan, however I find it equally likely that Jiraiya developed this one all on his own after reading about the Yamanaka and Nara, and simply opted to theme it based on his (probably accidentally) becoming flat during utilisation, and his knowledge that completely flat toads exist.

Another application of clan techniques (and because it’s nice to keep Ino-Shika-Chō together), which he’d truly make his own when combining it with senjutsu, is the Akimichi’s use of food pills/calories as fuel to promote growth, strength and regeneration. Through this principle, Jiraiya would end up developing Hair Needle Senbon in such a manner that he could theoretically sustain it indefinitely, except using nature energy as opposed to food/calorie energy, which can run out.

It was of course later on that Chōji also adapted his Spiked Human Bullet Tank jutsu to utilise his hair as opposed to strings of kunai, so maybe there’s a possibility that Jiraiya documented his use of nature chakra to promote growth/regeneration, which Chōji then adapted to improve on his own jutsu? It’s certainly food for thought (pun very intended).

Of course, the irony of Jiraiya adapting Akimichi styles lies in the fact he actually is a distant relative to the clan despite it being unknown—which probably means that methods that work well for Jiraiya could naturally work pretty well for an Akimichi based partially on some shared genetic makeup, and vice versa.

Knowing that Jiraiya is a ridiculously stealthy and ever curious guy, going so far as to carve it out as his niche from the Third War onwards, there are probably a number of other jutsu in his arsenal that have had inspiration drawn from Konoha’s rich tapestry of clan hiden... however those are probably best left for another post, along with the potential controversy of a bastard mongrel boy creating bastard mongrel jutsu!

[britishassistant]

this dream is a bit of a mess because unlike the others which were clear this jumps around a lot and lots of unrelated details form like 3 other dreams It took me all day to sort it out. Okay to start were going back to Konoha right when Sasuke brought the Will of Fire to East Blue, apparently the dimensional jump was... unstable is the closest word to use, It looked like their was a hole it the world, the Kami-Strawhats given they were watching them for The Will to set sail heal the hole. Part1

But I get the feeling that that hole is why and how the One Piece World and the Naruto was able to develop that portal between them, given that you could see ocean though the hole, fast forward a bit as the Kami-Strawhats celebrating Mayu and friends setting sail(loudly Kakashi got noise complants from upity nobles from the capital why they were their no idea) the permanent portal opens up causing all the Strawhats to literally stop their partying and SHUDDER as they become even more defined (2)

The dream quickly jumps to the OP strawhat recovering from Thriller Bark, and celebrating Brook joining the crew and they shudder as well and glow a bit but that dies down. I think that was implying a connection was made the OP Strawhat's and the the Kami versions just what that connection is? I have no idea. Anyway Luffy calls it a Mystery feeling and goes right back to partying with the rest of the crew quickly following suit. (3)

the dream then jumps back to the Whirlpool Group different time though as their heading to Reverse Mountain at the time. Naruto is grinning like a loon slightly ruffled looking with a smug Sasuke. Mayu is enjoying the Will's kitchen making dinner with Chouji, Ino is busy Navigating so they don't crash Will into the side of Reverse Mountain, Apparently the Whirlpool group decide to raid Louge town's Marine base because Shino and Sakura were taking out loot from storage scrolls and sorting it. (4)

which neatly explained why Naruto was grinning like that and Sasuke was so Smug, Shikamaru was napping on deck, Kiba was running around Will's deck and Poor Hinata has motion sickness and was reliving the contents of her stomach into the East Blue, while Lee trys to comfort her by patting her back( I blame her Bloodline for that 360 degree vision on a fricken ship hopefully it will pass when she gains her sea legs) (4)

anyway Mayu brings out the meal with Chouji's help which gets everyone to drop everything to eat well expect Ino who has to mind the Current and weather and you know make sure they don't slam Will into the Red Line or into the calm belt both of those would be bad but she still eats, they all talk about the raid on the Marine Base which was mainly for info, any seastone they can get their hands on, and Enteral log poses if possible, they could get, and well to anoce their existence. (5)

because right now in their mind they have only 3 months to make their mark here (not to sure if this is going to last because well Portal) and well Naruto is not one for obscurity, he is called Konoha's number one unpredictable knuckleheaded ninja for a reason afterall, and well Mayu stories always pointed out that the Marines were Hippocratic idiots that were the leashed dogs of very evil people, also they made Mayu cry with what they were going to someone named Ace, which is just not done (6)

(Btw when Naruto was thinking about Mayu crying he made a face that scared me Naruto should not have a face that looks like he's contemplating murder) they eat the food and Mayu take some of the group(basicly anyone that isn't doing encential stuff like Navigating and loot sorting) and a butch of Naruto's clones for English lessons. they did get lucky and got a bit of seastone not much though which turn out is an amazing charka channeler for Water, Wind, and Neutral charka. (7)

not so good with the other elements though with Fire being the worst, shika is already planning tests for the single pair of seastone cuffs they found, then it jump to sleeping Teach and I woke up because I just wanted to punch him that I manage to sleep punch myself not fun. this was all I can remember and make since of so sorry it was shorter then normal

I honor and thank you for your injury in the line of duty. May Teach receive a thousand punches for the one you suffered. *Salutes*

Kami-StrawHats looking out for their kids on the main. Of course Luffy experiences a brush with godhood and goes “meh, back to partying”. I can’t wait until the two groups meet in your dreams!

The Lougetown Marines had no idea what hit them XD. Chouji and Mayu in the kitchen together is such a cute image! Poor Hinata though, baby needs all the help she can get, good that Lee is comforting her.

Sibling!Naruto can be scary when either Lee or Mayu’s dreams are being threatened (though to be fair they’d probably be scary right back if someone threatened Naruto’s dream XD).

English lessons for everyone, especially Sasuke. The papayas and melon were a welcome addition to the menu, but still mysterious.

Sea stone and chakra interaction is pure gold. I love it so much.

Also the transition between Shika and Teach has me wondering who would trump who— could Shika’s shadow jutsu freeze Teach even while the black hole devil fruit was active, or would Teach’s devil fruit suck up the shadows and nullify the jutsu due to lack of light?

Thank you again for submitting this!

[dimancheetoile]

shiver (we’re a saturated sky)

Written for ShikaSakuWeek Hanami 2018 @shikasaku-week

Day Four: Truth/Lies

Read on AO3

Team 7 comes back from the mission with frowning faces and grumbled curses. Everyone stays away from them, because when Naruto looks as grumpy as Sasuke and Sakura on a bad day, you make yourself scarce. Even Sai, who you can usually count on to not look like someone killed his cat, is distinctively disgruntled.

Because Team 10 has no survival instinct whatsoever, Ino suggests they hang out with Team 7 to figure out what went wrong. And because both Shikamaru and Chōji are whipped, they agree. Under the false excuse of meeting up for lunch, they go to Ichiraku where they're sure to find their friends in their post-mission ritual. Instead of debriefing and enjoying the food, like always, they're all silent at the table, eyes on their bowl and very intently avoiding each others' eyes.

When they notice Ino, they all tense up, looking suddenly panicked. Sasuke is muttering something in Sakura's ear, and Naruto is elbowing Sai who looks up to him with a pained expression.

“Hello, losers!” Ino smiles, pushing Sai so she can seat next to him. With a sigh, Shikamaru and Chōji find a place at the table too.

“Hi, Ino,” Naruto says in a morose tone.

“What crawled up your butt and died? You all look like Kakashi forbid you from petting his dogs or something.”

“We were hit by a truth jutsu,” Sasuke says through gritted teeth, like he's trying his damnedest not to answer.

Ino blinks. “You're kidding me.”

Sai shakes his head, silent. Ino narrows her eyes and even Shikamaru looks interested. Chōji looks cautious, like he knows they shouldn't be pushing it. Ino apparently didn't get the memo, though.

“So like, you can't lie? At all?”

“No, we can't,” Naruto sighs.

“Do you know how long it's going to last?”

“No idea. We went to see Baa-chan and she told us that we're forbidden from leaving the village, for safety reasons.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Shikamaru snorts. “You're candy for the other villages right now.”

Naruto wordlessly nods. Sakura is looking at her ramen bowl like it's personally offending her. Ino sees it and grins like a shark.

“Soooo, Forehead-”

“Ino, shut up. Seriously.”

“She's right, you know,” Chōji says. “I can't imagine being in their position. We can't take advantage of that, it's a complete breach of trust.”

“Come on! Just innocent questions!” Ino whines.

“Nothing is innocent with you, woman,” Shikamaru grumbles.

“Just one, real quick. Do you still love Sasuke?”

“Not cool, Ino,” Chōji says softly.

Naruto's eyes widen and he looks at Sakura like she's a ticking timebomb. Sai tries to discretely hide behind Ino. Sasuke is staring at Sakura, silent and serious, his hand clenching on the table.

“Of course I love him. I've dreamed about getting him back for years, I punched God in the face just so we could all be back together. He's about one fourth of my soul and I can't imagine my life without him by my side.”

She falls silent. Her face is crimson and she's looking down at her ramen, shoulders hunched. Sasuke stares. Then he stares some more. Finally, he moves, his hand reaching for Sakura's neck. He tugs her towards him and kisses her forehead softly. He doesn't speak.

“Riiight, Ino, you're done here, come on,” Chōji says as he tugs his best friend along despite her protests.

Shikamaru follows, but he can't quite keep his mind off what just happened. He feels like a creep, but he wants to ask questions, too. He wants to know if Naruto really believes in his dream, if Sai really doesn't know what feelings are like, if Sasuke realizes how deeply he hurt his team when he left. He wants to know if Sakura can sleep now, if she can handle crowds again.

He follows, though, and reminds himself that those are his friends and he owes them respect. Sakura is pressed against Sasuke's side, Sai's arm around her waist while Naruto toys with Sasuke's growing hair. He has no place ruining that with his questions.

As it is, it's Sakura who finds him.

It's mid-afternoon and he's dozing on top of Kakashi's carved head. The clouds are fairly uninteresting today, because summer is closing in and the sky is a spotless blue. The warmth is manageable though, and he enjoys the quiet he can only find on the Hokage Mountain.

He feels her chakra as she climbs the rocks until she's sitting down next to him. He doesn't move, lets the atmosphere shift, because he realizes how huge this is, how much she's trusting him. Her voice is soft when she speaks, without looking at him.

“I want to tell you things, but I'm a coward. So if you have questions, ask them. You know I'll answer.”

“You're anything but a coward, Sakura. Cowards don't fight gods.”

She shifts. “I don't feel brave.”

His fingers drum on his stomach as he looks at the clear sky. She shifts again.

“One fourth of your soul, you said. Does Kakashi matter this much to you?”

“Kakashi is a child in an adult body with no sense of responsibility and the educational skill of an oyster. I'm fond of him, but Sai is the one I was talking about.”

He snorts in laughter. “I'm glad for him. The man deserves some love and Team 7 should be pictured next to 'unhealthy amount of love to give' in the dictionary.”

Sakura laughs, a relieved note in her voice.

Shikamaru looks at her, arms crossed behind his head. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Dead.”

He blinks in surprise. “Really? Why?”

“I applied for ANBU. They don't have any medics and I know they need one. Black Ops aren't expected to live past thirty.”

He doesn't answer. He loathes the idea, because he believes she's too soft for this. He doesn't say it, though. He's not in her head, and there are a lot of things she's not telling him. He can't help but think back to the chūnin exam and the trick she pulled on Ino.

“How did you beat Ino at the preliminaries?”

She shakes her head. “It was a draw. I didn't beat her.”

“How did you shake off the possession, then?”

“I have a second personality. She hangs back until I need her, and she can take control of my body if I'm about to pass out. She kicked Ino out when she got too close.”

He stares at her in disbelief. That can't be true. Split minds like hers happen because of trauma and there's nothing in her life that could have caused-

“What happened?”

“I'm sorry?”

He sits up, his eyes looking intently at her paling face. “What was so bad that you had to create a second personality to help you manage it?”

“My dad died when I was little. After that, my mom went a bit crazy, I think. Started beating me up when she felt like it. One day she broke a bottle of sake on my head. When I woke up, Inner was yelling at me to go to the hospital. She never left.”

Sakura is shaking, likely disgusted by the ridiculously small amount of control she has on her voice right now. Shikamaru closes his eyes with a pained expression, feeling guilty for asking. Damn his curiosity.

“Ask something else,” she breaths, eyes open wide. He fights for something to say before blurting out: “What's your favourite colour?”

She giggles, looking a bit frenzied maybe. “Orange. The rusty one.”

The tension bled out of the air and she's looking more relaxed. Shikamaru feels slightly less like a dick. They stay silent for a while as he looks at her. Her short hair is blowing everywhere with the wind, likely tickling her face if her grimaces are to be trusted. The second seal on her forehead is a glaring reminder that she's strong, so strong, and getting stronger.

Something hot is building up in his throat and he has difficulty breathing. She's shifting uncomfortably, a hand in her chest binder, likely replacing her breasts where they're hurting her less. He's seen Ino do it countless times and he always feels bad for them for the added pain. They've all learned a long time ago that body image and privacy were things of the past.

He can't stop himself, and he finds that he doesn't want to. He reaches out, his hand tugging at a strand of her hair. She looks at him with hooded eyes, and that answers his question about her sleep.

“Ask me a question, Shikamaru”, she whispers.

He plays with the lock of hair. “Will you watch clouds with me everyday?”

She freezes. Shikamaru doesn't look at her, doesn't dare cross her eyes. She's shaking. Then, finally:

“Yes.”

[narutosss]

naruto and sasuke’s s/o reaction , when they hear about the fight between the two of them and sees that they lost their arms.

A/N: sup bitches sorry I’m giving you trash rn I’m at work lmao

Narutos S/O’s reaction

🔸”??? Does that mean you can only do sexy jutsu???” A question only the s/o of Naruto would ask lmao. But in all seriousness they’re really mad.

🔸They’d be even more mad because he lost his arm fighting his best friend. Though they’d only cross their own arms and shake their head. “See cause and effect. You two are so damn hardheaded and reckless. Fighting each other like that.” Though they say these things they understand why it had to be done.

🔸Would pinch Naruto’s cheeks because they’re mad, but would kiss him there right after and be glad that he’s finally fucking home.

🔸”I feel like there are certain steps that you could’ve taken before you lost your arms but that’s just me lmao.”

🔸Would treat him like a baby (feeding him, doing his laundry etc) and then get over it when he gets that prosthetic arm lmao.

Sasukes S/O’s Reaction

🔹Wide eyed but not entirely shocked tbh. “I knew something drastic would happen…but this.” They’d say with a disappointed frown.

🔹They’d be there to help him through anything obviously but Sasuke has pride so they’d have to like force him to let them help. (Still wouldn’t work. Sasuke kinda op even with one arm)

🔹They would ask how he’s feeling, how he felt about the fight. If it was worth it and if there was something that would have prevented it. They care about Naruto as well but more for Sasuke’s well being. All of their questions would be centered around him.

🔹They would also make him dinner, like a lot of food. Mainly curious to see if he could use chopsticks with his less dominant hand. They’d watch him and if he needs it they would help. (He wouldn’t need it and he wouldn’t accept it even if he did so there’s that)

🔹”Sasuke…just let me fucking feed you, you can’t even hold them the right way.” They’d pin him down (or try to) to force him to eat the food they made. He’d gain the upper hand (lmao) and straddle them. He’d only say a simple “No.” and try and do it on his own.

[naruto-oneshots-blog]

Miscommunications -- Kakashi X Reader

After three weeks of being away on a mission, (Y/N) plodded up the stairs of her apartment building. She was so tired that her foot caught on the next step causing her to fall forward. She braced for impact, too tired to try and catch herself when two warm arms wrapped around her waist catching her from behind. Her nose was an inch from the stairs as the arms hauled her upwards, back onto her feet.

“You should be more careful, you know.” None other than the copycat ninja said letting go of her. “Here, let me help you.” Kakashi stood beside (Y/N) letting her rest her arm across his shoulders as his arm slid around her waist making sure to support her.

“Thanks, Kakashi.” She thanked gratefully as they ascended the tall building. (Y/N) and Kakashi had been friends for a long time, ever since they had become neighbors. That was ten years ago. Since then they had become so close, but during the past few months, (Y/N) had started to feel something more for the silver-haired ninja. It was moments like this one when (Y/N) thought that he too shared the same feelings. Her chest fluttered at the thought.

“You need to stop pushing yourself so hard (Y/N).” He scolded. “I won't always be here to catch you when you fall.” (Y/N) sighed at the lecture and opted to rest her head against his shoulder instead of responding. When they reached the top of the steps, (Y/N) was nearly asleep. She fumbled with her keys, too tired to think properly. Kakashi gently took them from her hands and unlocked the door, leading her into the familiar apartment. She turned and faced him.

“Thanks again, Kakashi.” She mumbled, sleep almost upon her.

“You’ll be okay without me?” He questioned, concern flashing in his charcoal eye. She smiled at the concern and nodded. “Well, alright then. Have a good night (Y/N).” She grunted in reply, too tired to talk. Once Kakashi closed the door, (Y/N) walked straight to her room and collapsed on the bed, falling into a blissful sleep.

(Y/N) woke to the sound of someone in her apartment. It was noon. Who would break into an apartment in the middle of the day?

“It’s just me.” The familiar voice of Kakashi sounded as if he knew what she was thinking. Groaning, (Y/N) stretched still feeling tired. She decided to take a shower and change before she asked Kakashi what the hell he was doing in her apartment. She showered quickly then put on a large shirt and shorts. Following a delicious smell that was wafting from the kitchen, she found Kakashi at the stove apparently cooking her breakfast. “Good morning, sleepy head.” He greeted warmly with his classic eye smile.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, taking a seat at the table where a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes awaited.

“Making you breakfast.” He stated plainly, another one of his smiles flashing in his eye.

“Why?” She asked as she ravenously dug into the food. She hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday’s breakfast.

“Because knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten for a full day,” Kakashi replied, again almost as if he could read her mind. (Y/N) sheepishly rubbed the back of her head confirming his suspicions. He brought the rest of the food to the table along with a plate for himself. (Y/N) wasn’t fazed one bit as he pulled his mask down and quickly ate his food. She had seen his full face plenty of times.

“You know you don’t have to fuss over me so much.” (Y/N) said through a mouthful of food.

“Of course I do,” He answered. “I care about you.” (Y/N) nearly choked on her food. “And, I’d be a horrible friend if I didn’t.” (Y/N) swallowed hard at the word friend. She hated that he was so hard to read. He was always so calm and collected so there was no way for (Y/N) to tell if he felt like they should be more than friends. They finished eating and (Y/N) gathered the dishes and brought them to the sink, Kakashi following her.

“You don’t have to help with the dishes Kakashi,” She explained, “You were the one who cooked the food so I can do them myself.”

“What’s the fun in that.” He smirked with mischief dancing in his eye. They were halfway done the dishes when Kakashi innocently flicked water in (Y/N)’s face. “Oops, my bad.” He grinned at her, waiting for her retaliation. It came swiftly in the form of bubbles. (Y/N) had scooped up a handful of bubbles and threw them in Kakashi’s face, laughing as they coated it.

“You look like Santa.” She choked out between laughs. Her laughter was cut short when a whole cup of soapy water was dumped on her head. “Oh, you are so finished!” She yelled at Kakashi, determination and playfulness flashing through her eyes.

“Bring it on!” He goaded playfully. (Y/N) grabbed her own cup and scooped up water, taking off after the copy ninja. They ran around the table like children. (Y/N) was having no luck of catching Kakashi. She weaved a hand sign and appeared behind Kakashi fast enough to dump the water all over him. As soon as she appeared the was gone, back on the other side of the table.

“Got you!” She gloated closing her eyes and sticking her tongue out. In those few seconds that her eyes were closed, Kakashi had gotten another cup of water and dumped it on her. She cried out in surprise and ran after him using her teleportation jutsu to appear in front of him. Kakashi came sliding to a halt, but because of the soapy floor he lost his balance and fell backward taking (Y/N) with him. They fell to the ground in laughter, (Y/N) landing on top of Kakashi. For a few minutes, they were both in a fit of laughter. (Y/N) laughed into Kakashi’s drenched chest while Kakashi’s arm rested across her back.

“Now my floors all wet.” (Y/N) joked, her head resting on Kakashi’s chest.

“I’ll have to mop,” Kakashi said, his smile showing in his eye.

“We didn’t even finish the dishes either.” She added playfully. “I missed this. We never really have time to hang out like this anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kakashi agreed. “We just have to make the best out of the time we have.” He said optimistically.

“I guess we should clean up.” (Y/N) said, getting off Kakashi and offering him her hand. After cleaning up the huge mess they had made, Kakashi had left to run some errands leaving (Y/N) alone once more. She had another shower to get the soap out of her hair and then had a nap. When she woke up, she left to visit Naruto then Kurenai, and then finally she got groceries and headed back home.

(Y/N) crawled into bed and recounted the events of the afternoon. It had been so nice to spend that time with Kakashi. She had been gone on her mission for three weeks, but before that Kakashi had already been gone for almost a month. So, in total, they hadn’t seen each other for almost two whole months. Kakashi’s words from the afternoon echoed through her mind. We just have to make the best out of the time we have. She needed to tell him how she felt about him. What if he was to die on a mission? (Y/N) would never be able to forgive herself if she didn’t tell him, so tomorrow she would seek him out and tell him the truth. With that, she drifted off to sleep.

The next day, (Y/N) had slept in again, so it was past noon when she finally left to find Kakashi. This wouldn’t be easy, but (Y/N) vowed that she would tell him how she felt. She finished getting ready and set off.

____

Naruto was at Ichiraku Ramen when he saw something that made him spit out his food. Kakashi-sensei was with the woman from before.

Sakura was in the Yamanaka flower shop when Ino had told her the juicy news. Kakashi-sensei was with the beautiful woman from yesterday. “What did you just say?!” She cried. “Oh my, Kakashi-sensei!” She said with a sly grin.

Sasuke was minding his own business on his way to train when he caught sight of Kakashi-sensei with that kunoichi spy that the ANBU black ops had brought in the day before. “Huh? Kakashi’s with her?” He said, disdain clear in his voice as Naruto popped up beside him.

“Hehe, so you’re curious too, huh?” Naruto noted cheekily with a grin.

“It’s not like that you idiot!” Sasuke countered with a glare just as Sakura showed up.

“Hey, it’s that woman! The one accused of being a spy we saw at the gate!” She said looking wistfully at the couple.

“Yeah the really pretty lady,” Naruto added, eyes following them.

“What’s he doing with someone like her?” Sasuke questioned. “Clearly he should be with (Y/N)-sensei.” Both Sakura and Naruto ignored his comment and took off after the pair. “Hey!” Sasuke called running after them.

Now the three genin watched Kakashi and Hanare from a bush, too far away to hear their conversation. “I can’t hear anything!” Naruto complained with a pout.

“They both seem so perfect for each other, don’t they?” Sakura sighed at the couple.

“Hmp, ridiculous.” Sasuke snorted in disgust.

“I'm gonna get closer so I can hear!” Naruto said and jumped into the tree that was above Kakashi and Hanare. Sasuke and Sakura followed suit, curious to hear the conversation.

_____

Almost ready to give up for a while, (Y/N) walked aimlessly around the village looking for Kakashi.

“Did you see Kakashi walking with that kunoichi woman Hanare?” She heard a man say to his companion. (Y/N) stopped to listen.

“Yeah, it’s odd.” The other replied. “I thought that Kakashi and (Y/N) would’ve ended up together, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Kakashi and Hanare looked pretty cozy together.” (Y/N)’s heart sank. Who in the world was this Hanare? She had never even heard the name before. There was no way that Kakashi could be in love with whoever she was. (Y/N) gritted her teeth and kept walking.

(Y/N) hadn’t gotten very far when she heard a loud crash. She ran ahead to where the sound came from, hiding just in case it was an enemy ninja. What she saw broke her heart. Kakashi was laying on top of a woman – most likely that Hanare – and was kissing her. (Y/N)’s chest felt hollow as Kakashi lingered on top of her before helping her up. Then, to top it off, Naruto gave them a bouquet of flowers and they both had blushed. (Y/N) felt the sting of tears as Sasuke’s eyes met hers. He had detected her. Quickly (Y/N) used her teleportation jutsu to disappear.

Once back at her apartment, (Y/N) packed a bag. There was no way that she could stay here. She needed to be away from the shinobi who had broken her heart for a while. She knew it was pathetic of her to be as hurt as she was. Kakashi had the right to be with whomever he wanted and if that wasn’t her, then she should be happy for him; she was anything but. (Y/N) packed enough for a week then teleported to Kurenai’s front door and knocked.

“Come in!” Kurenai called and (Y/N) entered.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, knowing right away that something was wrong. (Y/N) broke down and told her the story.

“Oh, (Y/N),” She consoled. “I'm so sorry! I was sure that Kakashi was in love with you.”

“Yeah, well so was I.” (Y/N) replied with a feeble sniff. “So, is it okay if I crash here for a week? I just need enough time to get used to everything. I mean, I still wanna be friends with him so I don’t want him to know that I loved him or anything.”

“Yeah of course (Y/N),” Kurenai said with a small smile.

“Thanks a lot.” (Y/N) smiled sadly. “I’ll make sure to help out around the house or do whatever you need.” For the rest of the night, Kurenai and (Y/N) talked to get (Y/N)’s mind off Kakashi.

______

“Hello! (Y/N), are you home?” Kakashi knocked on (Y/N)’s door but no one answered. Well, he’d just get in with the spare key. He leaned down and plucked the key from under her rug and unlocked the door. It had been three days since Kakashi had seen her which was odd. Usually, when they both had time off they would spend all their time together. “(Y/N), are you here?” Kakashi looked throughout the apartment to find it empty. “Hmm, that’s weird.” Kakashi locked the door and went looking around the village.

Kakashi had almost looked around the whole village when he came across his team.

“Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto greeted.

“Hey, guys.” He replied with a wave. “Have any of you seen (Y/N)-sensei? I can’t find her anywhere.”

“She’s probably avoiding you,” Sasuke said as if it was the most obvious answer.

“Why would you think that Sasuke?” Kakashi questioned.

“Because she saw you kiss Hanare and probably thinks you love Hanare.” Sasuke deduced.

“But why would (Y/N) care that I kissed Hanare?” Kakashi asked still not understanding.

“Because she’s in love with you.” Sasuke declared as if that too was the most obvious thing in the world. (Y/N) loved him?

“I need to find her then!” Kakashi said. “You don’t happen to know where she is, do you?”

“Kurenai-sensei’s.” They all said in unison. Kakashi thanked them and headed off in that direction. Love. That was the very same reason he was seeking (Y/N) out in the first place. That kiss with Hanare made Kakashi realize that he was in love with (Y/N). The kiss had just felt so wrong. Hopefully, he could explain to (Y/N) what had actually happened.

_____

“Umm, (Y/N)?” Kurenai prodded.

“Yeah? What’s up?” (Y/N) replied.

“Kakashi is here.” Shit. Shit. (Y/N) would just have to act like nothing was wrong. She took a deep breath and made her way to the front door were Kakashi was waiting.

“Hey, (Y/N).” Kakashi greeted casually.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked with a forced smile.

“I was just looking for you. I wondered where you went.”

“Oh, you know, I'm just crashing here for a few days and helping Kurenai with a few things.” She replied rubbing the back of her head.

“Do you wanna come for a walk?” Kakashi asked.

“Uh, sure.” (Y/N) agreed. Kakashi smiled and turned, waiting for (Y/N) to follow. She looked back at Kurenai who had an apologetic look on her face. (Y/N) would just have to suck it up and act like everything was fine. The two shinobi walked in silence until (Y/N) spoke.

“So Hanare huh,” She faked a happy tone. What the hell was she doing? “I mean, I would’ve like to meet the woman my best friend fell in love with but I guess you’ll have to bring her around sometime.”

“(Y/N)-” Kakashi tried to interrupt but she kept going.

“I’m happy for you Kakashi. Now I’ll have to find someone and then we could go on double dates.” She was babbling like an idiot now but she feared if she stopped talking she would start to cry. “And then-” She was cut off by Kakashi’s lips pressing against her own. “Wha-” She tried to speak but Kakashi just kept kissing her. Kakashi’s hand moved to the back of her neck, finding a hold in her hair. (Y/N) was so dazed that she didn’t even think to kiss him back. What the hell was going on? Kakashi pulled away looking slightly annoyed.

“You know, when someone kisses you, you’re supposed to kiss them back.”

“I- I don’t understand.” (Y/N) was so confused with the whole situation.

“I love you,” Kakashi said simply.

“But Hanare-”

“There was nothing between Hanare and I. The kiss you saw was accidental. Naruto was causing trouble when he fell out of that tree and knocked us over.” Kakashi explained. “It’s always been you, (Y/N). I’ve loved you for a long time but I just never thought that you’d ever-” This time she cut him off. Kakashi let out a surprised grunt as she pushed him against a tree, not breaking the kiss. The kiss that started as an urgent need slowed down as (Y/N) savored the moment. She gripped a fistful of Kakashi’s shirt and pulled herself flush against him. Kakashi’s hand slid up her back, finally finding hold on the back of her neck. She couldn’t think straight as his soft lips caressed her own in unhurried movements as if he wanted to taste every bit of her. It was the sound of giggling that made them break their kiss.

“What was that?” (Y/N) asked looking up into the tree where the sound came from.

“Naruto, shut up!” They heard Sakura whisper.

“Woah!” They heard the genin cry as they tumbled to the ground, shaken out of the tree by one of (Y/N)’s jutsus.

“Oh, hey guys,” Naruto said with a sheepish smile, “Fancy meeting you here.”

“All of you, go home!” (Y/N) shouted, heat flushing her face. She looked to Kakashi and his cheeks were red too. The kids ran off but Naruto made sure to yell,

“We approve!” Kakashi chuckled and turned to (Y/N).

“I'm sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I should’ve said something too.” (Y/N) replied taking part of the blame. “But at least now we know.” Kakashi smiled.

“Yes, that’s true. Will you be staying at Kurenai’s tonight?”

“No.” She said with a shy smile hoping that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “I was hoping we could go home together. You could stay at my house.”

“Yes, I’d like that.” Kakashi nodded, understanding flashing through his eye. They walked hand in hand back to their apartment building, Kakashi briefly stopping at his to get his night clothes. While he was doing that, (Y/N) changed into her own night clothes and climbed into bed just as Kakashi came in wearing only boxer shorts. (Y/N) tried not to stare too long as he made his way to the bed. He climbed in and pulled (Y/N) into his arms. (Y/N) studied his face. Kakashi wasn’t wearing his mask so his entire face was exposed. She lifted her finger and traced the scar that marred his left eye. She noted the sleepiness that glazed his eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He murmured, sleep almost upon him. Those words made her heart soar.

“I love you too, Kakashi Hatake.” She rested her head on his chest and Kakashi yawned causing (Y/N) to follow suit. “Good night Kakashi.” (Y/N) smiled and gently kissed his lips as he fell asleep. (Y/N) laid back down, smiling to herself as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

[jouissezduprintemps]

Something to Prove, Chapter Thirteen: Finish Line

Rating: T Warnings: Swearing Words: 1933 Fandom: Naruto Summary: As Suna prepares for its first independently-held chunin exam since Gaara became kazekage, the sand siblings must make sure that everything goes off without a hitch.

First  Previous   Next

The second day brought a much larger crowd than the first. Around half the shops in Suna had closed for the event; there wasn’t any revenue to be made from those in the arena, and many of the residents had chosen to attend, themselves. This resulted in a need for increased security. Several jonin and chunin from Suna were scattered about the arena, and Shikamaru was fairly certain he had identified one or two black ops agents intermixed with the crowd.

He appeared next to Baki, who stood at the back of the northern stands, surveying his charge. “Anything?” Shikamaru asked, glancing over at his fellow ninja.

Baki shook his head slightly. “Don’t get too comfortable. The matches haven’t started.”

“Right.” With that, he was gone as quickly as he appeared.

He met with Temari in the same position they had taken the day before.

“Everything’s clear,” she informed him. “Gaara and Kankuro are going to be watching, too. I don’t think anyone would be bold enough to try anything.”

“Let’s hope not.” The energy was already high. Shikamaru had already run through every possible scenario. The highest level of danger would come from having Gaara and Naruto in the same place at a well-publicized event, but one would have to be truly stupid to attack when so many ninja were in attendance. Although he couldn’t be sure, he doubted that even the Akatsuki would be so daring.

“Well, then, we’d might as well get started.” Temari gestured for him to follow her out into the arena.

To their benefit, one of the Sand genin had been injured too badly in the preliminary rounds to fight in the next match. His win was narrow. The Cloud genin had fallen to the ground three seconds too early. Both were rushed to the hospital for internal and external injuries, and his victory had been announced in his absence. He hadn’t been cleared by the medical ninja in time to participate, which left an even eight competitors.

Two from the Leaf, one from the Rain, three from the Sand, and one each from the Rock and Cloud.

The goal was to give each village an equal chance at sending their genin into the semifinals. The first three matches would pit each Sand contestant against genin from the Rain, Leaf, and Rock. The fourth and final match would be fought by the remaining Leaf genin and the genin from the Cloud. For the entertainment of the spectators, Shikamaru and Temari had done their best to match the contestants with similar levels of skill. Those without ninja training wouldn’t be able to see much of a difference between a match of two genin fighting with C-level jutsu and one with A-level. So long as the battles stretched out long enough to be entertaining, actual skill didn’t matter.

Of course, for the jonin commanders, these longer matches would give them more time to evaluate the genin’s skills. All around, it seemed to be the best method, and it was one that had worked well for them in the past.

The names on the digital screen skipped about, giving the implication that the matches were completely random. It hadn’t been hard for Shikamaru to pull a few strings and assure the outcomes they already had planned. As Temari expected, the first two names to pop up were those of Hideaki of the Sand and Masato of the Rain. Among cheers from the spectators, both young men leaped down into the arena, kicking up clouds of sand on either side of Temari, who stood between them.

Neither contestant had much of a chance at passing the exam. It was harsh, but true. They had both been carried along by their teammates through the first two trials, and they’d gotten lucky in their last matches. They were skilled, but neither of them were prepared for promotion to chunin. Their purpose was to warm the crowd up for the more intense matches that would come later in the day. Of course, they had no idea that this was the case. Insults had already been hurled, and they were both having trouble remaining still. If Temari didn’t start the match soon, they might disobey her orders altogether.

“Begin!”

She barely managed to get out of the way in time. As she approached Shikamaru, she growled to herself about the impatience and complete disregard the two genin had just demonstrated.

“Think we’re gonna have to step in?” Shikamaru mused, his eyes following the movements of their first contestants.

“No. I’m sure they’ll take care of it themselves. I don’t think they have the skill to risk killing one another.”

The match ended sooner than she’d anticipated. The Suna genin surprised the crowd when he changed techniques from fire-based chakra to wind, placing the lightning-based chakra of his opponent at a disadvantage. Their techniques weren’t refined, but they had enough of a grasp on their elemental natures that, once the Suna genin attacked with wind, the outcome of the match became certain.

Shikamaru entered the arena to call the match, announcing the winner. One down, three to go. If they stuck to their schedule, the semi-finals and finals might even fit into their allotted time.

The digital screen started up once more, flashing through the names of the genin as the arena was cleared from the last match. When the names stilled on the screen, they declared that Azami of the Sand would fight Konohamaru of the Leaf.

Temari pulled out the stat cards for both genin as they entered the arena. This battle would be much more intense than the last, if she and Shikamaru were correct. She was distracted by the sound of running footsteps, somehow not surprised when she saw Naruto rushing clumsily down the stone stairs.

“Can I watch from here?” he asked, almost pleading. Clearly, this was important to him.

She glanced out at the field, where Shikamaru stood between the genin. It wasn’t hard to guess what his answer would be.

“So long as you don’t cause any trouble,” Temari warned, tucking the stat cards safely away and out of his line of sight.

Naruto’s anxiety was almost contagious as he watched Kohohamaru fight. In Temari’s opinion, he stood a good chance of being promoted by the Leaf. His aim was accurate, and he showed the split-second decision making that was necessary in a leader. Even the way that his squadmates deferred to him outside of combat was impressive.

The spectators erupted into cheers when Konohamaru’s kick made contact with the Sand genin’s torso, sending her flying into the wall. She fell to the ground and didn’t move to get up. With that, Shikamaru declared him the victor.

Konohamaru’s match had sent the crowd into a frenzy. Temari was surprised she didn’t get booed when, after the fourth match, she declared an hour long break. The victorious genin needed time to recoup and be treated for injuries, but the lapse in entertainment was sure to annoy those in attendance.

Some chose to leave in search of lunch, while others took advantage of the opportunity to move to better seats. As for the proctors, Shikamaru and Temari chose to climb into the viewing area so that they could sit, giving their feet a short rest. Shikamaru dug around in his pack and removed a bag of food pills, offering them to Temari when he had taken one for himself. It had been hours since they had eaten their hurried breakfast, and it would be several more before they were freed from their duties. Although they could both go that long without eating on a normal day, it was a good idea to keep their energy up, just in case they had to interfere in any of the remaining three battles.

Temari pulled the stat cards for the last four genin, fanning them out in her hand. They all seemed to be on an equal level, which made their task easier. Konohamaru would fight the Cloud genin, then the Sand and Rock genin would battle. Moegi had lost her match in the last round, even though she fought until she couldn’t stand.

“We should be able to finish before nightfall,” she mused before tucking the cards away. The relief in her voice was clear.

Even though Konohamaru was eliminated in his semi-final match, his spirits were still high. Shikamaru let it slip that his report to Lady Tsunade on the matter would be in favor of his promotion. After all, the ultimate decision was left to the kage.

He left through the doors to the arena, riding on Naruto’s shoulders. Naruto was fiercely proud, as was Ebisu. Shikamaru didn’t think he’d ever seen the man show so much happiness. There was no reason for the squad to stay, and Ebisu decided that they would use the last hours of daylight to make as much progress across the desert as they could before stopping for the night. Naruto was going to tag along, selfishly hoping to get home so that he could give Tsunade a good word on behalf of the entire squad before the reports were handed in.

The genin from the Rock snaked a victory out of an extremely close match with the Cloud genin. He received applause from every village for his skill, which was impressive, especially for his age. Had they not been in a time of peace, that would be a child to reckon with on the battlefield.

Gaara’s closing speech was as eloquent as ever; out of the three siblings, he was by far the most well-spoken. As the arena emptied, the sun still hung in the sky, providing an hour or two of daylight before it would set. The majority of the Sand’s guests would most likely stay the night. Although, for everyone else, the exam had reached its end, Shikamaru and Temari couldn’t turn their backs on it just yet.

Generously, Gaara and Kankuro volunteered their time to help compile the reports on each genin. Although Gaara had already choses which genin from his village would be promoted, even those from the Sand needed to be written out in detail for formality’s sake. These reports would be placed in each genin’s file, and although it was a strictly bureaucratic process, it had to be done correctly.

It was only because they’d doubled their work force that the four ninja finished just after midnight. Without her brothers’ help, Temari knew she would have been working until dawn. She owed them. In the end, it was clear that they all were happy to see the end of the exam. It had placed stress on them all, no one more than Gaara.

Kankuro, as tired as he was, slammed his pen down on the kitchen table as he signed off on his last report. “We did it,” he declared, thrilled with their performance. “Just let Old Man Tsuchikage try to tell us now that we don’t have any authority.”

“If this doesn’t earn their respect, I don’t know what will,” Temari chimed in, looking at her youngest brother. The five kage had never looked at him with anything but skepticism due to his youth. He was just shy of his seventeenth birthday, whereas the Tsuchikage was just shy of his eightieth. Even the Mizukage, who was the youngest save for Gaara, was almost twice his age.

“One can hope.” Gaara didn’t seem very confident about the result. “Let’s finish up here so we can send these results out tomorrow. The other kage won’t want to be kept waiting.”

[blaze8403]

SIRI WOULD YOU SPEND A BILLION DOLLAR ON SNACK FOOD AND COOKIES AND STUFF WITH ME - SIR SIRI GUMMY BEARS GUMMY WORMS DONUTS SOUR PATCHES GUMMIE SHAPES GUMMIE ABC 123 WE CAN SPELL WORDS WITH GUMMIE FRUIT SNACKS

SIR I WOULD POSSIBLY SPEND A BILLION DOLLARS ON SNACK CAKES AND JUNK FOODS - I KNOW I MIGHT JUST WALK AN PURCHASE STORE AND EVERYTHING IN IT AND JUST GO AND GRAB MORE SNACKS ON THE HOURS LIKE TASTY KAKES CHIPS SODA JUICE COOKIES - LIKE UNI MART UNIVERSITY MARKET OR ANY OTHER STORE QUEEN OF SHEEBA INTERNATIONAL CORRECTIONS & PRISON ASSOCIATION

MUDRA8403 - MUDRA - RAD UM RAD - SHI SOUND LIKE UM BUT IT WAS LIKE FOUR FOR THE FORE THOUGH KICKIN JITSU LIKE JUTSU DOING DO JUTSU BUT THEY COULD NOT SPELL HIS LIKE THE H I S IN HISTORY

SIX ( ROMAN 9) PASCALBLAZE3@GMAIL.COM TWITTER TJ - TERRY JUNIOR

BIRTHDAY MARCH 11 USS OR USA ? CORRECT SELECTION

THE GOD DELUSION - CHAPTER 7 - 3 MORE—

XERXES ( SEX=GENDER ) XIEXIE ( I AND E VOWELS LETTER 9 & 5)

OOP = 16= 7 OO7 / 2600 OR 1600 - 0016 (ACTIVE) JANIST OR JANISM ? Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling professional with professor Doctor  Dai Gensui  Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. · ALL PRO RAVENDOVE Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins was RavenDove - yin yin / yang RavenDove - yin yin / yang - COLD NUMB AND (LOVIEY DOVIEY) CALCULATED SPELL IT D or L Dove or Love maybe L or D Lover or Dover pythagorean numerology ABC123 Kauffman-Hawkins-Hawk or Hopk -H__kins aw or op and Hopkins signed Booper or just Boop not Book BUT LOKI OR BOOPER SAN with Blaze Pascal. with Terry Lee Hawkins ( male ) Peros Dragonus Kami Aisuru ikigami shinigam HAWKINS HOKINSU/HOKINZU YES=Y=YES / NO=N=NO ( ON - TERRY THE TERROR PKA)

[pinkbarefacedbeauty]

Boruto: Rehash, Burgers and Tecgnology

That’s it. That’s what I feel this is about. I do see potential in Boruto’s growth as a character. I tried to push pass the fact that his parents made no sense together and just watch. It was absolutely, positively.....boring. Even though Boruto is bratty, I thought he would change like Naruto did, slowly. But, Boruto remained the same no motivation, bratty to Naruto (again maybe people aren’t sympathizing that the couples NH and SS look miserable because they are not the main character. Though everyone will still love Naruto, this is about Boruto, so people aren’t as bummed that the writers are treating Naruto like shit). Apparently Boruto, the person we have barely seen rain....at all, is going to surpass Narruto. Already Boruto is a genius at schoolwork, not having to cheat, he is a prodigy (why not in Anbu like Itachi if he is so OP like people claim), has 3 chakra styles, able to summon giant snake and will surpass Naruto. We seen Naruto going from underdog to war arc and then compare that to bratty Boruto who doesn’t have to work for anything but makes friends easily, has money, new clothes, video games, and apparently a prodigy. After the whole Momoshinkii we expected at least an attitude adjustment tyhen. Shoo is he only going to change when Naruto dies? Will Naruto play cupid for Boruto and an attitude adjustment in his death? Yep. You heard me. Apparently Naruto is going to die or get incapacitated and ‘no train no jutsu Boruto is going to surpass Naruto and save the day’........Bullshit.

I know that Naruto had an obsession with ramen, mostly stemming from never having parents to cook for him, but It seems every fucking second, these litlle mfers are at the burger shop, or Boruto and Shikamaru are riding on top of a  train (yea that’s safe and legal). Even the one episode I thought was not about burgers..ended up with them eating burgers. 

I think the setting of the new generation could have stayed the same and not plopped us into futurama world(even though it fits the crack fanon nature/direction the series went in after the war arc in Naruto, yes taking shots at pairings). All of this technology serves no purpose. 

Some people said that NaruHina was due to western influence, as far as the thoughts of Japanese fans, I thought it was an overall thing of people sexualizing Hinata and preferring her, so I didn’t know if it was a specifc western influence, bt what do you know. Burger and technology. You know who is stereotyped to be fat, eating fast food, lazy, taking easy way out, entitled, always on technology?....westerners. (new generation period but most notably westerners).

****Going with Naruto and Sakura ending, I personally like this one, but like all types of versions, send me more if you know of any!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoc03bW2V3Q I also like this: http://narusakuwiki.com/character/uzumaki-naruto/

LASTLY, I tagged ShikaTema because it is the ONLY logical relationship in konoha 12.

[barrimyr-adin]

Just finished the Search for Tsunade arc. Here are the thoughts and notes I took down.

Under the cut because this one is a lot longer and rantier than the last one.

Itachi did all these accomplishments way too young. He basically become the chief of the Secret Service as he started fucking puberty. This show really exaggerates age. If I had written it, I probably would have aged up all the characters. But then again, if I had written this series it would have been an entirely different series.

I’m pretty sure ninety percent of Itachi’s sex appeal comes from his voice.

Chidori’s sound effect is still dumb.

I love the idea that Gai just carries around green jumpsuits with him at all times. You never knew when you’ll find a determined pupil.

Tbh Naruto, that jumpsuit looks better than what you’re wearing now.

Please tell me there is an AU fanfic out there where Naruto was trained by Gai because he would have been a better teacher for Naruto than either Kakashi or Jiraiya. And Kakashi would probably prefer to teach Neji while Gai would have a blast teaching Naruto.

Honestly if I was Naruto, I wouldn’t go back to the Hidden Leaf Village. If everyone there treats me like crap while no one outside the village has anything against me and actually treats me decently, why the hell would I go back?

Jiraiya’s not a great teacher either. Man, Naruto just has shit luck when it comes to teachers. First Kakashi, now this?

Being a shinobi and standing on your own two feet doesn’t mean doing everything on your own without any help (which really goes against the lesson the series was trying to teach earlier) at the age of 10. And being a teacher means actually teaching, Jiraiya. Not giving the kid a vague idea of what he should try then taking his money and ditching him for a couple of days while you spend his cash in a brothel.

Soulful game of catch? Naruto, your daddy issues are showing.

“Single no doubt?” Are you out of your fucking mind, Kabuto? Are we looking at different people? Breaking that wall was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen!

Tsunade is a boss and I think i’m in love.

Shizune is also a boss.

Honestly, Naruto, I am so done with you. How can someone be so consistently and belligerently stupid?

Tonton disapproves of your decisions, Tsunade.

Naruto, please stop yelling and growling and screaming like a loud fucking idiot. It contributes literally nothing except giving me a headache.

I don’t really like Tsunade’s backstory. The characters seem like flat caricatures made entirely to draw sympathy for Tsunade and her personality feels entirely different to how she is now. I get that she’s changed drastically over the years but she seems like an entirely different character. It just kinda feels like inconsistent writing.

The amount of faith Jiraiya has in Tsunade is honestly pretty heartwarming.

Someone please tell me Naruto becomes less insufferable in Part 2.

Damn Jiraiya, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. At least she didn’t steal your wallet?

What the actual fuck, Tsunade? You can’t just knock out your fucking niece!

Does anyone actually know what the fuck Orochimaru has tied around his waist?

Wow, Orochimaru actually seems saddened by Tsunade’s speech.

I’m gonna need a gif of Tsunade taking off her coat as she rushes to fight Orochimaru and Kabuto ASAP.

Kabuto’s talking to Orochimaru about Jiraiya as if Tsunade ain’t about to break his dumbass, wtf?

I hate these dumbass food pills. They might as well be taking steroids in the middle of a fight.

Did Kabuto just punch Tsunade in the tits?

Get fucking wrecked, Kabuto.

How fucking clueless can you be, Naruto? No one is this slow on the uptake and oblivious to literally everything that has ever happened around them.

Kabuto dropped the Sasuke bomb like a pro.

Those poison needles should have hit you like fucking arrows, Kabuto.

The Summoning Jutsu is probably one of my favorite jutsus despite all the tiny frogs we have to watch be summoned. Though I am sorta surprised Kabuto was capable of summoning a serpent like that. I didn’t think he had that much chakra. Has the Cursed Seal of Heaven also been inflicted on him? It would make a lot more sense if he was drawing off of Orochimaru’s chakra.

“Test your mettle against a Sannin?” You did, Kabuto. She wrecked you. The only reason you aren’t dead is because she refused to deal with her trauma for like a whole decade.

Speaking of trauma, Kishi really doesn’t know how to write it. At least based off the way he’s written Gaara and Tsunade.

Can someone please explain to me why Kishi has such a problem with portraying the female characters as being just as capable as the male ones?

All the Sannin’s VAs really did a good job.

No Jiraiya, even with guts you still need skill or you'll fucking die. What you’re refering to as "guts" is actually just "plot armor."

Are you fucking kidding me, Naruto? You should be on the floor in pain not standing and fighting.

I’m gonna be honest, the Rasengan scene was dumb. There were a thousand different ways they could have shown Naruto figuring out the Rasengan in the fight without seeming like you’re kissing the MC’s ass. Though I will admit, Naruto came up with a creative solution to his problem by using shadow clones to help him. Though that won’t always work, he’s gonna have to keep training because he can’t always rely on an incomplete version of the Rasengan.

As many complaints as I have about this series, I will admit that the fight scenes as a whole are pretty dope.

Tonton, Gamakichi, and Gamatatsu all hiding together is actually pretty cute.

Orochimaru apparently became a fucking airplane.

This fight really went too far when it came to villains. There's a point where your villains are too OP and you end up regretting it in the future.

Seeing each of the Sannin riding a giant beast really reinforces my love of the Summoning Jutsu.

Why the fuck were you surprised by her being Hokage when you woke up, Naruto? That was the point of the mission! And how the fuck is your dumbass gonna talk shit about her?

So the lesson i’ve taken from this whole arc is that Tonton is fucking adorable.

I’m already tired of Naruto calling Tsunade grandma.

Honestly Naruto, how do you think its more important to tell Shikamaru her age rather than the fact that she's a fucking Sannin or even her name.

Great, misogyny too. Thanks for adding another reason for me not to like you, Shikamaru.

This hospital scene is pretty indicative to the rest of the SasuSaku pairing. Sakura gives Sasuke undivided attention and devotion while he's basically braindead and oblivious to her. And Naruto just watches, probably pining for the both of them.

LEEEE!

MY BOY!

stop making me cry!

Can everyone just go a little easy on Konehomaru? I get that he's annoying as hell but ffs he's just a kid trying to work through his grief.

Lee! Are you trying to fucking kill me with feelings!?

Gai and Lee are gonna be the fucking death of me.

[myaekingheart]

66. Something Intriguing Thus Takes Root

               Dusk overtook the sky as Rei ventured home. It felt nice to finally be returning to her own apartment for once, even if the empty apartment across the hall still haunted her. But she didn’t want to think about that right now. She locked Kaminoki and glanced at the sunset, a somber smile touching her lips. It would be another lonely night.

               Kakashi had been so busy lately, and she could tell he was feeling torn. I’m fine, don’t worry about me, she tried to reassure him, but it wasn’t much help. He still felt unresolved on the whole matter. The village needed him, but so did Rei. He hated to see her suffer through her grief alone.

               A dog barked in the distance and Rei pressed her hand to the pouch at her hip. When Kakashi returned from his mission, he insisted she keep the summoning scroll he gave her just in case. He didn’t expect to catch a break any time soon, and he felt safer knowing Pakkun was at her beck and call should she need him. It was the least he could do.

               She wondered where her boyfriend might be now, what he was doing, if he was thinking about her. Her arms ached to feel his touch, her mouth watering for the taste of him. She looked to the stars flickering overheard and whispered, “Please come home, soon.”

               “You’re missing someone” a voice then called; it was a definite statement rather than a question. Rei whipped around, the voice unfamiliar, but found no immediate source. Her hand snapped to the holster on her thigh, fully prepared for a fight. “Stay your weapons, woman. I’m not going to hurt you” he then said, and out of the shadows stepped an old man with a bandage across his eye. He held his arm in some sort of sling and supported his weight upon a cane.

               “Can I help you?” Rei asked, surveying the area. There was no one else in sight, and for a moment it terrified her. ANBU or not, being approached by strange men at nightfall was never welcome. Her mind flashed with a million different ways in which he could abuse her if he tried.

               “You are Rei Natsuki” he said, “granddaughter of Teiko, and a member of the ANBU black ops.” Again, he said this more as a statement rather than a question. “I have heard a great deal about you.”

               Oh, fuck, here we go, she thought to herself. “Listen, if you’re here to berate me for being psycho, I’m afraid I’m out of office and won’t be back until never o’clock” she snapped. She turned to walk away from him, desperate to get out of this encounter as quickly as possible, but then said something that froze her in her tracks.

               “Quite the opposite, actually. I think you’re rather talented, and I want to recruit you” he said. Rei slowly turned back around to face him, cocking a brow in suspicion. “In case you haven’t remembered, I am Danzo Shimura and I am in charge of Root, a subsidiary of the ANBU” he explained. “Lord Third implemented a new training program before we could meet, otherwise I would have approached you sooner. I’ve been keeping a close eye on you, and I believe you are not reaching your full potential under the fifth hokage’s jurisdiction. I would like you to join Root, and work under my command. I think you are much better suited for my line of work.”

               Rei’s heart pounded in her chest. She had, of course, been familiar with Root and heard Danzo’s name tossed around before, but this was an entirely new level. “What makes you so sure I’m a good fit for this?” she asked. She tried to restrain herself from showing her interest.

               A strange smile touched Danzo’s lips as he explained, “The purpose of Root is the total, unhindered protection of Konoha. We work from the shadows in order to keep the ultimate peace and eliminate threats before they become problems. I know of your affinity with the chameleon jutsu—you seem to be rather gifted with invisible work, which is a main tenet of Root. I also know you are much stronger than many give you credit for. I’m well aware you took down a byakugan user when you were only fourteen. Quite impressive, indeed.”

               Rei’s face turned red—she was unaware others had known about that. It wasn’t something she necessarily flaunted. If anything, she actually wished it had never happened. “Well…” she started, then asked, “I thought Root mainly recruited members from a young age. Like a lifelong program. I’m twenty-four, it would too late for me.”

               “Not necessarily” Danzo replied. “I have made exceptions for special cases.” The way he said that made Rei’s skin crawl, and she recoiled a few paces. Danzo followed, closing the distance. “I suggest you think long and hard about what I am offering. I will not do this again. You are wasting your time working under the fifth hokage. You belong in Root—unrestricted. Someplace where you can reach your full potential.

               My full potential. Had she really been limiting herself all these years? She wasn’t entirely sure. “What about my friends and family?” she then asked. As far as she knew, members of Root sacrificed everything.

               “Well, sometimes difficult decisions must be made” Danzo replied. “But would you really be happy staying stagnant the rest of your life? How much are you willing to pay for power?” A shiver ran down Rei’s spine. She chewed her bottom lip and considered his offer. She couldn’t care less for power, personally, and was unsure of whether or not she could stand to sacrifice everything. Grandma Teiko’s words echoed in her ears. You have come too far and worked far too hard to give up everything now. But what if giving up everything meant advancing in her career? Feeling the recognition she had for so long yearned for? “I know what Lady Tsunade has done for you” Danzo then said, “Deferring you from your duties for the sake of grieving. She is not doing this for your wellbeing, like she might have you believe. She is simply afraid of the immense amount of power you now wield. If you were under my command, I would implore you to use that power to its full advantage. You are much stronger than anyone else is allowing you to be. Don’t waste your time on people who are only trying to hold you back, Rei Natsuki.” Danzo shuffled forward and placed a hand on Rei’s shoulder, sending a chill throughout her entire body. Yet in that moment, something inside of her shifted. Danzo’s words began swirling through her brain, adjusting her perception of her entire life. She walked the rest of the way home in a strange, misty haze.

               Rei had already made up her mind by the time Kakashi returned. She cooked a simple dinner for the both of them, but all the whie seemed distant and distracted. If he didn’t know any better, he’d assume she was hiding something from him. As they finished their food, he finally asked, “Is everything okay?”

               “Yeah…everything’s fine” she said, though she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. She took his empty bowl with hers and approached the kitchen sink.

               “You seem quiet” he said. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

               “I’m just tired” she replied. “But, uh…there was one thing that happened.” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to do this. She really shouldn’t say anything. Ideally, she would just fade into oblivion without having to explain anything to anyone. She fully expected to be questioned the moment she revealed her choice.

               Kakashi cocked a brow and shifted to get a better look at her, asking “Oh? What happened? Was it something bad?” He quickly scanned her body, searching for any injuries he may have missed. He couldn’t catch anything. He prayed she hadn’t been hurt in other ways.

               “No” Rei shook her head. She lingered at the kitchen counter, feeling his eyes burning into her back. She didn’t have the strength to meet them. “Actually, it’s really good. Sort of like a promotion type thing.”

               A promotion? Kakashi furrowed his brows in thought. There wasn’t any rank higher than ANBU except for hokage, which he knew she had not reached. Tsunade hadn’t even been in office for a year. And even if that was the case, putting someone of her current mental state in a position of authority was perhaps the stupidest decision. He awaited further explanation, a mild panic growing inside of him.

               “I was approached with an offer a few days ago” Rei explained, “and I think it sounds really good. A Danzo Shimura flagged me down on my way home, said he wanted me to join his faction of the black ops and…and I think I’m going to do it.”

               Almost involuntarily, Kakashi leapt to his feet and shouted, “No!” Rei froze, her heart pounding in her chest. She gripped the edge of the kitchen sink in an effort to quell her anxiety. The abrupt tension was almost palpable. Sighing, Kakashi rubbed his forehead and added hesitantly, “I mean…have you really thought through all of this?”

               “Are you insinuating that I’m being hasty?” she asked, voice sharper than she expected it to be.

               “I’m not trying to insinuate anything” Kakashi replied, “I just don’t think this is a good idea at all.”

               “Well, I do” Rei replied. She turned on the faucet and began rinsing out their bowls. The minute she shut the tap off, she could feel Kakashi looming behind her, his hot breath on the back of her neck.

               “How much do you really know about Danzo and Root?” he asked. “I think if you were aware of the truth, you would have a much different answer.”

               “I know enough” she said. “I know that Lady Tsunade is holding me back from achieving my true potential, and that I’m capable of more than people give me credit for. Root can give me what the ANBU can’t. I belong there.”

               “No, you belong here. With me” Kakashi said, wrapping his arms around her from behind. Rei wiggled in his grasp. “Root isn’t even supposed to exist anymore. If you go through with this, you’ll risk being branded a felon. Root does dirty work. It’s not a respectable place for a kunoichi.”

               “What do you know?” Rei fired back, pushing herself out of his grasp. “This is exactly the kind of shit Danzo was talking about! With everyone limiting me, trying to hold me back! Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why can’t you accept that I’m finally heading in the right direction? This is a good thing, Kakashi! Or are you just scared I might actually become better than you and you want to hold me down?”

               “Rei!” Kakashi snapped, voice stern. There was fury in his eyes. “I’d want nothing more than for you to surpass me, but you have serious delusions about what you’re getting yourself into. Danzo sweet-talked you into believing this was the right path, but it’s not.  Root will strip you down to nothing and force you to kill people who don’t deserve to die. People who have done absolutely nothing wrong. You’ll be forced to sacrifice everything. It’s suicide.”

               The word rang in Rei’s ears like a funeral dirge. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. She clapped her hands over her ears and groaned, shaking her head. “I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say, Kakashi” she snapped.

               “Why?” he asked. “Because you can’t handle the truth?”

               “No, because I’m tired of you spitting lies!” she shouted back. “There was a time when you were actually supportive of me. I thought you loved me. If you did, you wouldn’t be acting like such an ass right now!”

               “I’m saying these things because I love you” he insisted. “Are you really willing to sell your soul for criminal activity? You’ll never be able to see me or your parents or your grandmother ever again. Our entire future will be thrown out the window. Is that what you really want?”

               “What would you rather I do, then? Kill myself? Because this is the much better option” Rei replied. “At least this way, I can do something worthwhile with my time. And I don’t have to interact with anyone or burden them ever again.”

               This was far too much. Kakashi was beginning to really lose his cool. “I can’t stand here and watch you do this to yourself” he said. “I won’t let you go through with this.”

               “Oh yeah?” she asked. “As if you dictate my every move? You know, I think you seriously underestimate my determination, Kakashi. You put me down when we were kids, told me I could never make it as a ninja, but I did it, didn’t I? This is just the next step. If you’re not going to support me, then that’s fine, but just know I can do this with or without you.”

               What was it going to take to convince her that this was a bad idea? He glanced to the sake on top of her fridge and wondered if she had been drinking before he arrived. No one should ever make big life decisions under the influence. As he gazed back at her, crazed and manic, his heartbeat increased with every passing second. He couldn’t stand to lose her, especially not like this. Their entire future was at stake here. He thought of the ring tucked away in his dresser. He cursed himself for not having it on him now. If he did, he would get down on one knee this instant and ask her to marry him, ask her to spend the rest of her life with him, to put away these stupid ideas and choose him instead. He didn’t want to face another day without her by his side and he refused to watch her waste away in a prison like Root. His hands twitched at his sides, desperate for something, anything, but it became clear to him there was only one thing he could manage in that moment. He surged forward, ripping his mask off, and pressed his lips to hers hard.

               Rei resisted at first, then fell into the kiss slowly but surely. When he finally pulled away, she looked at him dizzy and dreamy, a sadness in her eyes. He pressed his forehead to hers and cupped her cheek. “Don’t do this” he whispered. “Don’t leave. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

               She fought back the tears that were starting to surface, tightening her grip on his forearm. “I can’t…I don’t want to…I mean…there’s nothing else I can do.”

               “You act like this is the only way out” he whispered. “But it’s not…I promise, it’s not. Just please…stay with me. Don’t forget how long you’ve wanted this. Don’t forget all those years you pushed and fought…you just wanted to prove yourself, and now you have. I was stupid to have kept my distance all those years. Now that I have you, I can’t afford to lose you. Not now…not ever.”

               “Please, Kakashi…” she whispered, her voice cracking. “Please, I just…please don’t put me in a cage.”

               Sighing, Kakashi closed his eyes and ran his fingers through her hair, holding her close. “I’m not” he replied, “But I refuse to watch you put yourself in danger like this. Danzo is lying, he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. He wants you to think this is a good idea for his own sake. He’s just going to use you. He’s going to snuff out that will of fire in you…” Here, he pressed a hand to her chest, her heart beating fast beneath his palm. “Don’t let anyone take that fire away.”

               By now, Rei couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. She broke down, falling into his arms, her face buried in his chest. “Why does this have to be so hard…?” she asked through her sobs. “Why can’t I think straight anymore? It’s all messed up…everything is so messed up…”

               “I know…I know” Kakashi whispered, pulling her into him. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, inching closer to the bed so they could sit down. “Just please…trust me when I tell you this is not the right choice. Danzo approached me once, too, and tried to convince me to join Root. I saw through his lies and ended up stopping him from killing the third hokage. He’s dangerous, Rei, and I don’t want you anywhere near him. If he ever tries to approach you again…I’ll kill him myself if I have to.”

               Rei buried herself in Kakashi’s embrace, her head beginning to pound. This was too much. Everything was in a haze. Why couldn’t she think clearly? She heard Kakashi’s words, but she couldn’t comprehend them. She felt weak and small and infantile. She was dependent and worthless. She cried herself to sleep in his arms and that night, she did not dream.

[sun-summoning]

baasama replied to your post “so today is this random canadian holiday called family day. i’m not...”

yah time travel ��

part i

papa spoiled her constantly but he had one rule that he stuck to: don’t touch the scrolls in the study. after that, mama would add: don’t touch the books either (and that goes for you too, sasuke-kun).

he’s had to say this to her on more than one occasion when sarada would be playing ninja with her plastic kunai and the mask she took from mama’s box of things sarada isn’t supposed to touch. this time sarada gracefully stumbles into the study, sees the cabinet of scrolls, and thinks that they would be a good addition to her game. she is, after all, playing the role of captain kitten, leader of the black ops and right hand of the hokage. obviously she’s been sent on a mission to retrieve the sacred scripture from the dastardly tomato eater.

sarada sticks to the walls and eyes her prize, scowling behind mama’s porcelain cat mask at the thought of the tomatoes papa tried to make her in the past. yuck. papa just left for a long mission though, and while sarada certainly misses him, she doesn’t miss all the tomato foods mama used to cook just for him.

soon sarada makes it to the cabinet without setting anything off, picks the fairly lazy lock papa had used to keep it closed, and then swings open the doors. 

she was pretty good at picking locks for a five-year-old, the hokage once told her. this was after he caught her trying to find what he called his “treasure” in the locked bottom drawer of his desk.

“whooooa,” sarada breathes, taking in the contents of papa’s locked cabinet.

this is probably a safety hazard, but that doesn’t occur to sarada. instead, she picks up the one with the green edges that remind her of mama’s eyes. she tries to make out the characters, but she’s not that great at reading yet. 

“ow!” 

sarada pouts when the edge of it nicks her finger. blood wells along the line of her paper cut. she moves to bring the wound to her mouth even though mama has told her many times not to do that, and drops of red fall onto papa’s scroll. she’s going to get in big trouble, she realizes, but then there’s a flash of light and she drops the scroll in fear.

-

when the light fades away, sarada blinks and blinks until those spots of colour fade away. she removes mama’s cat mask and rubs her eyes. then she notices that papa’s study looks...different. 

the cabinet of scrolls is gone. so is the shelf with all of medical texts. sarada can’t help but snicker because mama is going to be so mad when she realizes her collection is missing. the far wall has pieces of furniture against it, all covered in sheets and everything is just so dusty. confused, sarada stuffs the scroll she’s still holding into her dinosaur fanny pack (mama wouldn’t let her use one of her medic packs) and exits the study, only to find that the hall is all wrong as well.

suddenly on alert, sarada realizes that her game might not just be a game anymore. 

the hall is dark and empty and missing all the framed photos that should be decorating them. she passes her parents’ room, but the door is closed and she’s too scared to open it. 

sarada continues down the hall to the stairs where she sees light. there! papa left for a mission a few months ago, but mama would be downstairs for sure and then she could help her! sarada sticks to the walls once again, still wary in this weird version of her home, when suddenly the bathroom door opens.

“mama!”

but it isn’t her mama. 

she doesn’t scream, too frightened to actually do anything, but whoever came out does.

“intruder!” she mutters to herself. sarada is quick to pull out one of her kunai and throw it at the stranger, but it’s plastic so it’s entirely ineffective. “where’s mama!” 

“w--what?”

“where’s my mama?”

“what?”

sarada hears movement behind her and sees a flash of pink hair behind her. sarada barely even looks at her before grabbing her legs and yelling, “mama!”

“h--huh?” 

sarada looks up and, of course, sees her mama. sort of. sarada squints, confused, because sure this is her mama, but why does she look so young? did she use granny tsunade’s special jutsu? turning back to the intruder, sarada takes him in and realizes he’s uncle naruto. 

what?

“we’re going to die,” uncle naruto says, pointing at her accusingly. “it’s the ghost of a dead uchiha kid and it wants its mama. sakura-chan, take one for the team here and--”

“naruto!”

if she were a lesser child, sarada might have been scared of the way mama yelled at uncle naruto. instead, sarada finds comfort in it. she hugs mama tighter until mama gently pries her arms away so that she might lift her up. mama sits her on the bathroom counter and smiles at her warmly.

“are you--”

“--a ghost child?”

mama turns, glaring at uncle naruto. “are you done?”

“mama, what’s going on? why do you look funny?”

“mama?” mama echoes. “i’m not--”

“why are you guys always yelling? and what is going on here?”

sarada turns to the door and beams when she sees papa. she doesn’t even consider that he looks as young and mama and uncle naruto do. she jumps off the counter and moves past mama’s legs. uncle naruto yells something about a ghost but sarada is too happy to see that papa’s back from that mission he said might take a very long time.

she runs to him, beaming. “you’re home!” 

-

part ii