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specialmindz · 4 years ago

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“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS WHERE ARE YOU?”

BUBBH!

“PAPYRUS!”

Sans poked the baby bones currently playing the bathtub. “hey uh, bro? i think dad wants you…”

“PAH-PYRUS!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“WHAT YOU WANT STINK DADDY? I’S MAKING MOOSIC OVER HERE!”

The infant continued splashing in the tub, the bubbles floating gently through the air with each slap the water received. “UNDER DA’ SEA! UNDER DA’ SEEEA! DOWN HERE IT WETTER, DOWN HERE IT BETTER, TAKE IT FROM BAY-A-BEEEEE!”

CAP CAP CAP!

CA-THINK, WHAM!

“ugh! dad, you don’t have to slam open the door like that-”

“WHERE’S MY KEYBOARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT?”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“I don’t know what you’s talkin’ bout’. What is dis ‘key-board’ you speak of? Is a board game?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! YOU USE IT WHEN YOU’RE USING MY COMPUTER! TELL ME WHERE IT IS THIS INSTANT!”

SPLASH!

Papyrus stopped. “Why you need it so bad? You’s a scientist, not a moosician! I’S the only one with musical talent round’ here! Listen to mah jams!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“UNDER DA’ SEA-”

“THAT’S THE WRONG KIND OF KEYBOARD!”

“uh oh,” said Sans, studying the water. The surface of it was almost completely obscured by bubbles, but he had a good idea of what lay beneath. Papyrus normally didn’t even like bubbles, as they got in his eye sockets and made it hard to see where he was swimming, but today he actually asked for extra suds in order to create “special effects” for a “concert” he was performing.

It looked like Gaster had the same idea too, as a trademarked sigh of unmistakable misery escaped him.

Heh heh, it’s like watching a balloon slowly lose its will to live…

SPLASH SPLASH, SPLASH SPLASH!

“It’s under the water isn’t it?”

“Nyeh?”

“My keyboard. It’s underwater.”

Papyrus looked down at the water and then back up at his father. “I do bad Daddy?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve made a mistake...”

“I fuk up yo’ life?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve ‘fucked up my life,’ now give me my keyboard so I can repair it.”

“Mmm…no. No, I’s gonna fix it. I already has an idea, in fact! I can still make dis work.” Papyrus licked the water. “Yep. Daz the problem. That’s the problem right there. I got the suds, but the water not be salty enough. SNAS!”

“AHH! wh-what? what do ya’ want pap?” asked Sans, putting a hand against his skull.

“Well FIRST, I’d like you to pay attention,” said the baby. “We gots a situation over here and you’s dreaming bout’ eating Sabastian!” The infant pointed to a dead crab floating in the bath near his feet. It had CLEARLY been eaten a long time ago by someone else, probably a human seeing as Papyrus got all his stuff from the Dump, but apparently the shell was all he needed to play pretend.

“I needs you to search the Powder Place and finds the salt,” said Papyrus, now pointing at the bathroom cabinet.

The bathroom cabinet was where the family keep their cleaning supplies. Heavy-duty powder that was used to clean up serious messes regular soap couldn’t handle, pest control bottles that sprayed foul-smelling chemicals, and copious amounts of baby powder lined the floor of the cabinet. Some of the bottles and boxes were neatly arranged, but most of the supplies had been knocked over, their contents scattered everywhere due to a combination of missing lids and an unsupervised baby…at least that’s what Papyrus said.

His little brother didn’t like the Powder Place very much, and at one point he even tried to do something about it, admitting fully that he had once purposely spilled the contents of the baby powder in order to make the area smell like an infant rather than Catty’s litterbox room. It was Papyrus’s argument that cleaning supplies should never smell like fresh fruit.

“Be careful Snas, it may smell delicious in there, but erything be poison. Big people’s use it as a trick to kill off fat babies.”

“Don’t be absurd! That’s not even close to being correct.”

“Yes it is. Big people’s like their monies and a fat baby is a baby that eats alllll the time. Food costs money, so they buy poison that smell like food to get rid of the baby without legal con-see-quences.”

“That’s not true, who TOLD you that?”

“Dirt-Butt.”

“*Sigh*”

Of COURSE it was Dirt-Butt.

“Dirt-Butt” was ALWAYS saying nonsense, though it really didn’t bother Gaster as much as every other source of knowledge the infant found. He was usually relieved in fact. Papyrus was used to getting stereotypical info from the media, but the things Dirt-Butt told him more often than not, actually kept him out of trouble.

If only headaches weren’t still the norm…

“NO DADDY, DON’T USE DA’ LECTRICAL HOLE! DIRT-BUTT SAY PICHU LIVE IN THERE!”

“…What?”

“dirt-butt told pappy that pikachus were electric mice who made their homes in electrical outlets,” explained Sans, playing a game on his phone.

“IS TOO! PIKACHU’S BABIES LIVE IN THERE! YOU’S GONNA POKE EM’ IN THE BUTT!” Papyrus covered the holes of the outlet with his hands, Determined to save his fellow infants. “Dirt-Butt says only big people can get poked in the butt, he also say-”

“Pikachus do NOT live or make their nests in electrical outlets.” Interrupted the scientist. “No one does.”

“Yes they do! Dat’s why the tricity gets used up. Pichu eat da’ power so they can gets big, is their nutrients!”

Gaster shook his head. “No. The reason you don’t want to stick things in here is because you’ll be electrocuted. Dirt-Butt lied. You need to pay more attention to people when they’re talking Papyru-”

“You gets elly-cuted cause’ you piss off Pikachu.”

“Did you not hear me?”

“If you poke the babies, you gets zapped.”

“Papyrus.”

“I KNOWS MAH ANIMALS DADDY!”

“SNAS, MORE SALT!”

“NO, do NOT put salt in your brother’s bathwater, it’s terrible for bones,” said Gaster reaching into the cabinet. He pulled out the salt, but was immediately met with a wet keyboard to the face.

CACK!

“PAPYRUS!”

“GIMME MAH SALT STINK DADDY! IS MINE!”

“No, it is NOT yours-”

“GIMME MY SALT OR I’S GONNA TELL UPON YOUUU!”

“You do that.”

“I WILL! I’ll tell upon you and you’s gonna get in trouble! I tells em’ you taked the salt and tried to make a baby stew…” said Papyrus smiling.

“Wh-”

“I’ll tell eryone you putted salt and carrots in mah bath and eryone will hate you. They’ll go ‘poor baby Pappy, he has such a bad wife, his daddy try to cook him for supper! We should ah-rest that bad guy and donate lossa monies to that baby’s fundraiser so their family can eats!”

“…What fundraiser?” asked the father, sensing trouble. He immediately regretted saying anything. In fact, he regretted it before the second word even came out of his mouth, but by then it was already too late.

“MY fundraiser. Baby Pappy’s Happy Nappies for Crap Bs!” Papyrus grinned and spread his arms out wide as if in celebration.

“’Crap B’s…?”

“Crap babies. Babies who not geniuses like me. Snas say, other baes not as fortunate as us, so I should be nice and share mah toys.”

“…”

“I don’t wanna do that, so instead I makes a fundraiser to get the inferior infants nappies!”

“Papyrus-”

“Nappies is diapers.”

“I know what nappies are,” said Gaster, already annoyed. Though the fundraiser’s name was enough to prove to Asgore that he wasn’t responsible for whatever came from his youngest’s latest money-making scheme, he still had to put an end to it. If he didn’t, he’d have the king’s citizens knocking at his door, and things were already getting bad in that regard.

More and more monsters had fallen ill from Hotland’s toxic fumes due to the fact that the Underground’s air filter lacked the power to operate and the more…unreasonable, individuals were getting upset. With the Lab being the closest medical building, the sick were often brought in and placed into the renovated Medical Ward. What was once mostly a living room was now a warehouse of beds, stretching almost from one end of the room to the other and lined with monsters of every variety.

Not that he was running out of room or anything.

The monsters there weren’t being cured, but rather drained of their magic to create magic crystals, a brilliant, if cold-hearted idea to be sure. This however, was necessary, though it had a severe consequence as it resulted in an increase of the Fallen; monsters who had lost too much magic and so had fallen into a comatose state. If the comatose had a chance of waking, he wouldn’t have dozens of family members banging on his door and flooding his email with questions, but sadly that wasn’t the case. Those that fell, fell to dust. There was no waking them…at least he didn’t THINK so…Gaster admittedly hadn’t bothered to experiment with that kind of thing yet.

I’m raising two children, keeping the oil reservoir under control AND a secret, trying to come up with a permanent solution to our power problem, logging the names and the number of incoming patients, making magic crystals, recording Papyrus’s progress, AND fixing HIS messes; I don’t have the TIME to meddle in monster mortality.

“uh, dad? papyrus just ran out the door giggling.”

“Wh-what?” Gaster looked about the bathroom to find that it was, indeed, missing a baby. “Why didn’t you stop him?!”

“he ran right past you, so i figured it was okay.”

“Papyrus by himself is NEVER okay, you should know that! Where did he go?” He poked his head out of the doorway and looked down the hall. A wet trail of baby tracks led into the darkness and he could just faintly hear the clacking sound of tiny bone feet getting farther and farther away.

“he said something about ‘customer satisfaction’ or…whatever. i wasn’t really paying attention-”

“GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO GET YOUR BROTHER!”

“*siiiiigh* FINE. PAPPY? WHERE YOU AT BABY BRO?”

“I SAID ‘GET’ NOT ‘YELL’ SANS!”

Lazy little…

“uuuughh!” Rolling his eyes, Sans shoved his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie and walked out the door. “PAPPYYYY! HEEERE PAPPY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

Wiping off his ruined keyboard, Gaster tucked it under his arm and followed his oldest.

He already knew where the little bastard was headed.

Earlier in the week, while he was sweeping dust off the beds, he had found a little white diaper under the covers. ALL of the beds that once held the Fallen, had them in fact. It was obvious that Papyrus was putting diapers on the comatose patients, but until today, he never knew why.

“…those aren’t babies pappy,” said Sans from far off.

“Course they are! Daz why they sweep so much. Cwap babies don’t do much Snas, they just eat, sweep, and doody in their diapies. Some of them pay wit toys, but-”

“PAPYRUS GET OUT OF THE MEDICAL WARD!”

Papyrus turned his head to look down the hall, then, waving at his daddy, he turned back around.

“PAPYRUS!”

“Shoosh, stink Daddy! You wake da’ babies!” The tiny skeleton looked at the fluffy, unconscious dog-monster. “So tell us, doody-dog…how satisfied are you wit mah pro-duct? From one to a hundred?”

“…”

Papyrus lifted the dog’s head, “Eleventy-six!” exclaimed the baby bones, “I’d definitely wear another! Mah only complaint is the lack of hole for my stupid dog tail-”

“*pfft!* pap-”

“THERE SHOULDN’T BE ANY COM-PAINTS!” yelled Papyrus into the dog’s face. “DIS A FUNDRAISER, YOU BE GATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU GET, SUCK-BABY!”

“…”

“he’s not answering you bro.”

“Cwap babies not talk much Snas, but the result be clear. They satisfied…and now I must expand mah business!” cried Papyrus, raising a finger in the air. “TO WATERFALL!”

“huh?”

Using his wingdings, Papyrus picked himself up and placed his little body atop his brother’s skull, apparently expecting Sans to take him to his destination with haste.

He didn’t.

“pap, i don’t know what EXACTLY you’re trying to do, but it’s probably not a good idea; you’re naked and dad was-”

“TO WATERFALL SNAS!!” repeated the baby, louder this time. “TIME BE MONEY, HONEY!”

“don’t call me that.”

SPL-SPLASH!

Teleporting to Waterfall, the two brothers fell into the water near the docks, Papyrus slipping from his sibling’s head almost at once.

“NYEHHHHAAH! WHY YOU PUT US IN DA’ WATER SNAS? THE FISHIES SEE MAH BUTT!” The infant covered his rear end with a tiny hand, using the other to grab hold of Sans’ hoodie.

“then you shoulda listened to me huh?” replied Sans, CLEARLY not sorry at all. “besides, you know i can’t control exactly where i show up!”

Just the area in general…

“DON’T LOOK AT MAH BUTT CWEEP FISH!”

TAP!

A strange tapping sound drew the older boy’s attention, and Sans turned his head to see old man Gerson walking along the docks, cane in hand, while the baby batted at the curious fish.

“What’s all the commotion over here?” asked the turtle, scratching under his chin. He looked a lot more ancient when he was in full view. Sans usually only saw him in his shop, as did everyone else. It was rare to find him wandering around, as Undyne had a habit of taking it upon herself to scavenge for supplies at the Dump and present it to him to selling. Because of her, he never really HAD to leave anymore.

TAP, SHIFF!

The old man got closer and peered down at the two in the water, holding a magnifying glass to his eye. “Wahhaha, of course, of course it’s you, Papyrus. Giving your brother trouble I see!”

Does he bring that everywhere with him?

“it-it wasn’t pappy’s fault, i made a mistake,” said Sans quietly.

“Is that so? Well you two shouldn’t be bathing in the same place we water folk get our food, might get a taste for skeletons! Wahhahaha!” He laughed again, but the little Horror wasn’t as amused.

“DON’T EAT DA’ BABY!”

“we weren’t bathing…i just…took a wrong turn or something…”

“You weren’t? Then where are your brother’s clothes?”

“CTHULHU TOOK EM’! I seens it, wit my own widdle eyes, Wrinkle-Man!” said Papyrus, splashing in the water.

“Really? Well that’s just awful! Isn’t that awful Sans?”

“please don’t encourage him.”

“They must be pretty mean to do something like that; picking on a poor little cherub like you.”

“Yep, I’s a sad cher-chero-cherrio. A very sad cheerio Wrinkle-Man, baby’s don’t gots lots of monies ya’ know? How I supposed to buy new jammies wit no monies?”

“That IS an issue,” said Gerson warily, sensing an approaching problem. He turned to Sans, but the child only glared at him, his expression giving the answer to the old man’s unsaid plea.

You started this, now YOU can deal with it.

I’m not helping you.

“Ya’ know what would make this little cheerio happy again Wrinkle-Man?”

“cherub, pappy.”

“*Sigh*…What’s that?”

“If you would accept dis diapie.” The baby bones held up a soaked diaper, possibly getting it from out of Sans’ pocket.

“oh, that’s right, i didn’t check my pockets today.” He looked down at his clothes sadly. Whatever was in there today was probably ruined now by the water.

Papyrus tended to hide things in his brother’s hoodie.

Every once in a while, the kid comedian would reach into his pocket to find crayons, candy, a kaleidoscope, bouncy balls, a yo-yo, and sometimes even makeup in his pocket. They were fun little surprises that he enjoyed, like tiny gifts. They obviously belonged to his sibling, but liked Papyrus liked to say “what’s mine is yours,” so he considered them gifts.

The big treasures were his favorite, as they were rare and akin to getting surprise packages in the mail. He’d wake up in the morning and go to the place on the floor near the dresser where he always threw his hoodie and be excited to find a big lump covered by his clothing. A sign that his brother had hidden something neat.

You’d think he’d quit hiding things with it by now. He’s gotta know I’m stealing em’…

One time, Sans even found a skateboard hidden under it. He played with it a lot, and got pretty good, but when he started doing tricks, Papyrus became…unhappy. He remembered his baby brother screaming in terror and crying when he showed him a kickflip for the first and last time. He remembered feeling super guilty about it too. He only had 1 HP after all; if he fell, it was bye-bye big bro.

The skateboard now sat in a corner collecting dust, a sad reminder of what could have been.

“I don’t need a diaper yet kiddo!” said Gerson, slightly insulted.

“Sure, you do! All old peoples need diapies and all we asks in ass-change is dat you gives us a small donation.”

“A small donation’ hm?”

“Yep, for just thirty-twelve G, you could have this super absorbent, long-lasting diaper. Yo’ donations go to the Happy Nappies Fundraiser where we will buy MORE diapies and gives them to the less fortunate.”

“…It sounds like you’re selling diapers for 3,012g, FAR more than they’re worth. That’s thirty-twelve right? 3,012g?”

“Correct. We uses the extra monies to buy more nappies.”

“That’s not a fundraiser young’un’, you’re supposed to be raising money for charity. If you’re selling these to the babies here in the Underground-”

“I not sell to babies, I GIVE to da’ baes!”

“…But their parents pay for them.”

“Yes.”

“That’s not a fundraiser, you’re ‘hustling’ as the kids say.”

“No! I not hustle, I BUSTLE! The fundraiser be for babies, THEY gets the diapies for free, not the big peoples.”

“you’re either not understanding bro, or you’re trying to cheat people.”

Probably the latter.

“Daz not too. I buys diapies for the peoples who needs em’ and I use the rest to buy stuffs dat I need...like my jammies. Erybody wins.”

Papyrus attempted to climb out of the water and then, realizing his arms weren’t strong enough to pull him up onto the dock, he summoned his wingdings and placed himself onto the planks.

RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE!

“ugh, pap!” Sans covered his face as his tiny and inconsiderate sibling shook his body back and forth like the dogs in Snowdin, attempting to rid himself of the water.

“Wahahaha!”

SQISH!

THAP THAP THAP!

The infant squeezed the diaper in his hands and whipped it in the air, sending beads of water every which way. He knew it would probably not be the most absorbent product he ever sold, but perhaps the old monster would still want it for catching doodies…?

“bro, that diaper’s ruined, you’re not going to be able to sell it. look, it’s torn…”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked at the nappy in his hand. It seemed fine just a minute ago, but now it was all stretched out and worse yet, the sticky parts that were meant to hold the diaper in place wouldn’t stick anymore. He tried several times to get them to, but the front kept falling open.

Sans was right.

His product was ruined.

“NYEHHHHHAAHHHH! SNAAAAAAAS!”

“*sigh*”

“MY DIAPIE BE BOKEN SNAS! NYEH-HAAAHHHH!!!”

Sans got out of the water and picked up his baby brother. “don’t cry pappy,” he said, bouncing him up and down in his arms. “it’ll be okay.” He patted him on the back, but the baby bones refused to stop crying, still clutching the diaper in his little hand.

“Oh dear…hmm…tell you what,” said Gerson, pulling a wallet out of his shirt pocket. “I’ll buy your nappy at 2,000g, since it’s damaged. A young’un’ needs a pair of clothes, right?”

“our dad didn’t sell his clothes if that’s what you’re-”

“Shu up Snas, YES PWEASE MR. WRINKLE-GUY!” yelled Papyrus, suddenly all smiles. “I WOULD VERY MUCH AH-PEA-CIATE THAT!”

“PAPYRUS!”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” laughing loudly, the tortoise-monster gave him the money. “Looks like this old man’s been outmaneuvered in marketing! I better watch out!”

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“…”

“Oh, don’t look so glum, my boy. Your brother needs this practice in order to protect you in the future! He’s gonna be quite the young warrior, isn’t that right Papyrus?”

“…There will be war.”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” Mr. Gerson laughed again and walked back towards his shop. He tended to laugh a lot when Papyrus was present, though seeing him also made the elderly monster a bit sad too.

Sometimes I miss the old days when a lot of these little guys were around…

Maybe one day, nature will fix our past mistakes. I just hope it doesn’t need help…or that it’s not too late.

TAP, SHIFF!

“…that wasn’t very nice bro.”

“The business world is a harsh one, Snas,” said Papyrus, counting his G. “You needs to pactice too big Buther. One day, you’s gonna need to help da’ baby, ya’ know? Is sad dat you has no monies of your own. Just cause’ you gots 1 hp, don’t mean you’s useless. You gots a brilliant mind, put it to good use.”

“i don’t need life advice from a crook.”

“Kay’ when you gets a life, come see da’ baby.”

“i HAVE a life, you little asshole! it’s just isn’t a life of crime.”

“No crime no dime, big Buther. Sometimes you gots to break the rules to get da’ jewels! Tell Daddy he either pay you for help, or he pay fines for child labor.”

“that’s blackmail.”

“Is genius is what it is.”

Sans chuckled and put the money in his hoodie. “why would you need my help bro? unemployed monsters down here are a dime-a-dozen!”

“…”

“all jewel need to do is lie and they’ll help you out. i don’t need to do anything, heh heh…”

“…You needs to pactice yo’ font too.”

“fine-”

“SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM DA’ BABY!” yelled Papyrus, kicking his legs.

“i can’t leave you here, child abandonment is a crime-”

“DAZ NOT EVEN A PUN!”

“besides, crawling all the way home would be a bit labor-ious, wouldn’t it?”

“IIIII HATE CHUUUUUU!!”

CAP, CAP!

Oh crap, someone else is coming. I need to get Pappy back in some clothes or-

“HEY! NO BATHING IN THE FOOD SUPPLY, IT’S ILLEGAL!” cried a shrill voice Sans knew all too well. Startled, he dropped his brother in surprise, but luckily the infant didn’t seem to care.

“HELLWOE FISH-LADY!” Papyrus threw up his arm in greeting. “DA’ WRINKLE-MAN JUST LEFT!” The baby pointed towards Snowdin.

“He was just here?”

“yeah, he headed back to his stall a few seconds ago,” replied Sans, glaring at his brother. “while you were…underwater. why were you underwater? this is the breeding area…”

“Right, I was talking to the fish. Gotta make sure no one’s stealing them, so everyone can keep eating-”

“Fish Lady’s growing an army to fight the homos!” said Papyrus excitedly.

“SSHH!! Shut the fuck up Papyrus!” whispered Undyne harshly.

“homosapiens baby bro, you have to say the whole thing or…you know what? just say humans, kay’?”

“Homo humans!”

“…not better. also, are you talking about actual fish, undyne or water monsters?”

“WHO CARES?” yelled the young girl. “THE MORE SOLDIERS THE BETTER!” She grinned proudly, her hands on her hips. No one would expect an attack from the water AND the land, the next war against humans was as good as won.

That is, if no adults found out about it. They didn’t appreciate Undyne’s ingenious war strategies like Papyrus did.

No matter how helpful or cool they were, adults always seemed to have a problem with her ideas, and unfortunately, Sans and Gaster were no different. For most of them to work, she needed science nerds, but they saw her plans the same way they saw Papyrus’s, terrible and “asinine.”

The Royal Scientist’s words, not hers.

She didn’t know what “asinine” meant, but it had the word “ass” in it, so she assumed their father was calling her ideas booty.

My ideas aren’t ass!

My ideas are GREAT!

Stupid, crappy, science dweeb, is just lazy. How hard can it be to build a giant robot? Isn’t there already someone asking him to do that already?

“…A giant robot can destroy entire towns, I saw it in a movie.”

“what are you talking about? are you still on about that robot army?” Sans sighed, a trademark sign of his that meant he thought she was being stupid. Undyne had heard it many times before.

“IT’S A GOOD IDEA!!” she screamed. “AND IT WASN’T AN ARMY, IT WAS JUST O-”

“for the last time, if you saw something already done in a movie undyne, the humans know how to COUNTER it; they make the friggen’ things!”

Undyne’s so dumb…

“Yeah, but the movies are old, Sans! They’re in the Dump, because no one watches them anymore! We’ll have the element of surprise.”

“I wish to pilot a Gundam, big Buther.”

“SEE?! Papyrus wants it!” she said, pointing at the baby bones. “You want to blow up a town widdle Pappy?”

The infant smiled and bounced up and down on his rear end excitedly. “Yeah yeah yeah!” he said, ignoring his sibling’s frown. “I’s Middle Eastern ya’ know…is mah calling.”

“still don’t know what middle ease is, pap.”

“Middle East Snas! It mean I comes from da’ center of the earth…only is a liiiittle East.” The infant pinched his fingers together, squinting with one eye to make sure there was space between them, hoping he had solved the mystery.

“The center of the earth…?” Undyne looked confused. “You mean Hell?”

“i’d believe that.”

“Noooo! I’s on the WOOF of Hell…cept’ is a liiittle East.”

“Yeast…isn’t that the stuff bread is made from?”

“he’s saying east, undyne. it’s a direction.” Sans pointed towards where he knew the Lab was located.

“…That’s left, Sans-I MEAN RIGHT! That’s your right.”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

“SHUT UP PAPYRUS, I WASN’T WRONG!”

“you are.”

“YOU SHUT UP TOO!!”

“how old are you?”

“YOU CAN’T ASK ME THAT! I’M A WOMAN, IT’S ILLEGAL!”

“Is you a baby like me, Fish Lady? If so, I gots a great product for you…”

“I’m NOT a baby, I’M GROWN!” Undyne stomped her foot angrily on the planks of the pier, scaring Sans a little. He had no idea how long those timbers had been there, but he knew people walked on them every day. Eventually, they would break and need to be replaced…probably by the pines in Snowdin.

There are some people who use them for firewood too though, I know Grillby does. What if we run out? How long does it take a pine tree to grow?

…

Who planted them there to begin with?

“Nyeh? You spacing again, big Buther?”

It was something he thought of often whenever he was bored, and he highly doubted it was the monsters doing.

“Come back down from space, Snas!”

No one knew what the inside of Mt. Ebott was like, which is why everyone in the beginning not only scrambled for a home as soon as possible, but also refused to leave it behind for something better. It didn’t make sense to begin with for the monsters to carry saplings with them into a mountain with little to no sunlight. Even if the sunlamps in Snowdin had been immediately installed, it would’ve taken time. Could the trees survive that long without the sun? Why were they all pine trees to begin with? If the monsters came from different environments all over the world, wouldn’t some have brought cacti, palm trees, and other tropical plants?

It’s like someone made preparations for us to live here…

“EARTH TO THE SNAS!”

“AH!”

“Stop daydreaming and tell da’ Fish Lady how great mah fundraiser be! She doesn’t want to buy my diapies…” said Papyrus quietly.

“Why are you naked?”

“s-sorry bro, i was thinking about the trees. how come there’s only pine trees and fruit trees in the underground?”

“Nyeh?”

Why was his brother always thinking about trees?

“There’s a fern in the Resort Area,” said Undyne, hoping to change the subject. She’d rather talk about plants than diapers.

“why though? who was the guy who went ‘hey, yeah, i know i’m being ushered out of my home with little to no warning and should prooobably pack everything i think will be needed to maintain my survival-”

“But this fern doh…” The young girl laughed, imagining the scenario. “I gotta take this fern, man!”

“*pfft!* c’mon undyne, for real-”

“FERNS BEFORE FOOD! FERNS BEFORE FAMILY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“AND THESE FLOWERS, DUDE! I NEED THESE GOLDEN FLOWERS IN MY LIFE!”

Sans laughed in spite of himself as his baby brother let out a high-pitched screech of delight. As curious as he and it was, the comedian had to admit it was also pretty funny.

I guess back then, people didn’t have to worry so much about survival as they do now. They probably weren’t expecting things to be so hard down here.

It’s good that kids like us don’t have to worry about that sort of thing…most of us anyway.

Dad’s a douche, but our generation depends on him and he’s doing his best to deliver. Without him, the Underground would be doomed.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was one of the worrying kids. The future frightened him; his father frightened him.

One of the perks of being invisible, aside from whenever the Royal Scientist needed him, was that Sans could go anywhere and do anything he pleased when off the clock. He knew about the Fallen and what his father was doing before Flowey even appeared to tell him, and he was willing to bet his brother did too.

Papyrus didn’t mess with the draining machine.

Sans noticed he didn’t talk about it either. There were no questions, no threats, no mentions whatsoever. In fact, these days Papyrus seemed to mellow out a bit in general, his pranks becoming fewer and fewer in number until the labs horrendous reputation began to fade. The baby bones had even gone out to recruit other bright minds to help in the lab, no doubt sensing his father’s incoming mental collapse.

Despite how serious their power problem was, the truth remained that they HAD oil. It was dangerous to use, but it was a choice Gaster had other than draining that he didn’t favor. He CHOSE murder, their father CHOSE to drain sick monsters who came to him for help, and showed absolutely no remorse or concern for his actions.

Not good.

“Does Onion-chan gots ferns?”

“huh?”

“It’s Onionsan, Pappy. You’re spelling it wrong, and yes, those are ferns.”

“oh, you’re still talking about ferns…who’s onionsan?” asked Sans. He didn’t know much about the monsters that lived underwater, but apparently no citizen was safe from his little bro. He hoped he hadn’t caused too much trouble…

“Onionsan-chan be a monster from Japan, man!” replied the infant, enjoying his tongue twister. “I doesn’t know how he got here dough…”

“OnionSAN, Papyrus-”

“They too big for mah diapies, so we not visit the tentacles today.”

“what?”

“Onionsan is a monster that looks like an octopus. I’ve never heard of Japan though.”

“Is where the woah-bots come from, Fish Lady! Da’ Vocaloid and the Gundams and the aira-planes…”

“airplanes aren’t robot birds baby bro,” said Sans smiling.

“Nyeh? No bird? Tsundereplane lie…?”

“huh?”

This alarmed Sans. Papyrus was behaving himself more in the lab, but that meant he was spending most of his time outside where it was dangerous.

Who’s Tsundereplane? How many people is he talking to?!

“you know what? it doesn’t matter. stop talking to strangers papyrus, it’s dang-PAPYRUS!”

BEEP BEEP!

Taking Sans’ phone out of his pocket via wingdings, Papyrus called his “friend” on speed dial.

“Hellwoe?”

“papyrus, stop!”

Who the hell gave him their number?! How long has that been in my phone?!

“Yep, is da’ baby…”

“hang up, papyrus. whoever gave you their number isn’t a sane person-”

“Snas say you’s not a whoa-bot bird Tsundereplane. Why you lie to cute widdle me?”

“…”

“WELL SCU YOU TOO, STINK ARROW-PLANE! I BEAT YO’ ASS!”

BEEP!

“…”

“…Tsundereplane not my friend no more.”

“Aww…poor Pappy…” Undyne patted the infant’s skull.

“don’t feel sorry for him! that’s what he gets for talking to strangers, maybe next time he’ll think before putting numbers in MY phone!”

“Yep, woe is me Fish Lady…”

“are you even listening to me?”

“…First they steals mah jammies and now they lie and call me an idiot-face. I am the saddest of cheerios…”

“THEY STOLE YOUR CLOTHES?!”

“you little shit.”

“STEALING’S ILLEGAL! Don’t worry Pappy, THE UNSTOPPABLE UNDYNE WILL GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK!”

“he’s lying undyne-”

Sans reached out to stop her, but Undyne was already off towards Hotland.

Damnit!

There’s no way he’d catch her, he didn’t even know who or where Tsundereplane was.

I don’t even know what they LOOK like…an airplane probably, but…

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“*humph!* i bet you’re pretty proud of yourself, huh baby bro?”

“Yes.”

“you think you did the right thing?”

“Yes.”

“what do you think��s gonna happen when undyne finds out you were lying?”

“She gonna come back and do the accu-sa-tions and Imma say ‘they throw my jammies in da’ lava?’ then I’s gonna cry reeeal loud, and she gonna feel sorry for me.”

“…”

“She’ll say, ‘aww, I didn’t think of that! Poor baby Pappy…I should go out and buy you NEW jammies!’ and then I say, ‘no, no, you’s done enough.”

“…is that right?”

“Yep. I say, “Just gives me some monies and I go gets em’. Shopping be boring.’ Then she gonna go ‘you’s right! Shopping IS boring. Here are some monies…and a widdle extra for the accu-sa-tions.”

“…”

“That’s when I be reeeal nice and say ‘keep da’ extra, you deserves it for being a good friend to da’ baby.’ Then I buys candy and I eats it, then we all live happy ever after.”

“…i’m calling undyne.”

“WHY YOU GOTS TO DESTROY MY HAPPY AFTER?”

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

“I’M NOT SELLING YOU NOTHIIIIINN’!!!” screamed Papyrus, “NYEH!” Snatching his brother’s phone, the baby bones took off running towards Snowdin.

“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS, NO!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“DO NOT GO INTO TOWN NAKED, PAPYRUS!”

Friggin’ dumbass! There’re dogs everywhere there, he can’t be showing that many bones, he’ll get eaten!

Or they would.

Probably the dogs.

Either way, Sans knew who would ultimately be blamed.

“GOOD LUCK FINDING ME IN DA’ SNOW BIG BUTHER!”

“ugh, shit!”

POOF!

With an enthusiastic smile, Papyrus leapt into a snow poff as soon as his sibling lost sight of him. There was no way Sans would find a tiny white skeleton in a snowfield. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack…whatever a haystack was.

Finally, his Michael Jackson syndrome was paying off.

“Nyeh? *sniff sniff*”

That was odd. The snow poff he was in smelled like doody. Well, actually, the whole town smelled like a barnyard, but this was especially bad…

“*huff puff* pa-papyrus…”

“…”

“papyrus, i know you’re in there, your tracks lead right to the snow poff field!”

“…Those could be anybody’s tracks, there’s no baby here, skelly-man.”

“really? heh heh, well that’s weird. most people who live in snowdin avoid the snow poffs.”

“…I had to move cause’ I missed my rent. This my home now.”

Sans laughed; his brother had no idea. “woooow, that sucks. i’d personally hate to live in a poop-igloo, but you do you man, ha ha ha!”

“What?” Papyrus poked his head out of the snow poff and looked down.

“yep. the reason the snow is built up in this area and nowhere else, is because this is where people dump their chamber pots.”

“…”

“the snow tends to build on top of the droppings and that’s what makes these little mounds, cool huh?”

“…”

“asgore is trying to get plumbing up and running, but it’ll be a while before THAT happens, what with the power issue and all. personally? i don’t see it happening. people make money gathering these snow poffs up to sell for fertilizer.”

Without saying a word, Papyrus climbed out of the snow poff and walked towards the Ruins. It was the longest route to a river, but at least it didn’t cut through town.

“papyrus?”

“Shut up.”

“aww, what’s wrong pappy? paaappyyyy-”

SPLASH!

The baby bones jumped into the river, using his wingdings to hold himself steady in order to keep from being swept away by the current.

“…”

“oh no, pappy! you can’t just hop into the river, the fishies will see your butt!”

“…”

“you know what you need to catch those doodies? what every baby needs?”

“Choke on bread.”

“a dia-”

SPLASH!

“heh.”

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #Sans #Baby Papyrus #Kid sans #Kid undyne #Undyne #Gaster #Undertale fanfiction #Dark Comedy

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theangrypokemaniac · 5 years ago

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Fav pomemon?

Hello!

I'm sorry if expect you expect a one-word answer, but I don't seem to be capable of those. I'm ashamed of how long it is, as I realised I had a lot I really liked, and I don't know if I feel strongly enough about any of them specifically to warrant promotion to favourite.

Prepare yourself:

Such a question to ask, and so many to choose!

Being wholly indecisive, I have several answers to give:

1. It'll seem strange but I don't remember ever having a favourite Pokémon. It was the people that interested me the most, their quirks and personalities. There being Pokémon was a means to an end.

2. At the same time, I had a soft spot for Pokémon that, once evolved, just looked like fatter versions of their previous selves:

• Pikachu and Raichu

• Clefairy and Clefable

• Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff

• Chansey and Blissey

• Marill and Azumarill

3. Out of love for the anime, all the Pokémon Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie and James had from Kanto to Johto, but especially Pikachu, Meowth, Butterfree, Psyduck, Vulpix, Togepi, Lickitung, Victreebel, Horsea, Lapras and Snorlax.

4. My mom's favourite's still remain Vulpix, Ninetales, Gastly, Haunter, Gengar, Ponyta, Rapidash, Horsea, Seadra, Staryu, Starmie, Eevee, Vaporeon, Jolteon and Flareon, so them too.

5. Vileplume, not only it belongs to my main girl Jessibelle, and is capable of holding a cup of tea at last, but because it sounds like a Cockney flower girl, like Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady.

Vyyyyyulploooooom!!!

6. My favourite film is The Power of One, so Lugia, Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres. I always preferred Pokémon Silver to get Lugia at the earliest.

7. Mewtwo and Mew for giving us the only film based on the games' plot.

8. I'm still stuck on Johto being 'new', because no following generation has ever made me that excited. These days fans expect another generation every three or four years, but then it was genuinely surprising for there to be a sequel.

What, you mean there are more of them?!

All of that set. Particularly Mareep, Flaaffy, Ampharos, Wooper and Quagsire. Never once played a game without them on my team.

9. Groudon. Can't remember why. I just know I played Ruby a lot more than Sapphire.

10. I quite like Xerneas's delicacy, but they gave it a female voice in the Diancie film.

It's a stag!

11. Shaymin when a hedgehog, and not the mouthy film one that slags off Ash.

12. Eeveelutions, although it still niggles there wasn't a Grass type in the First Generation that needed a Leaf Stone.

13. Houndoom, the dog of Satan!

We have a lot of folklore about demonic, fire-breathing dogs in England, so it makes me feel at home.

14. Sabrina is my favourite Gym Leader as she has a backstory, so Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam.

Everyone had Alakazam! He laid waste to enemies!

15. Jigglypuff! There ain't no party without Jigglypuff. I never knew why the posters had her dark pink with green eyes whereas the anime version was light pink with blue eyes, but I preferred that.

16. Snubbull for being adorably gruff and grumpy looking yet still being a girl in the series. I liked the set up of Jessie and James having a cat and a dog. Her owner looked just like my nan too.

That's where she went!

17. The sort of bizarre freaks there were in the First Generation that you don't get anymore, where you'd just stare at them in disbelief.

Mr. Mime, the slave of Dame Ketchum.

A mime artist!

There are female ones!

It was called 'Marcel' in Red and Blue, after Marcel Marceau, so was probably a Frenchman.

Jynx, the slave and possible wife of Santa.

An opera singer!

It's got armour-plated bosoms!

It's from The Ring Cycle!

To this day I wonder where that man in Cerulean City got his.

If from Johto, why is it a Kanto Pokémon?

18. Slowpoke and Slowbro, for their Psyduck-esque bossed-out expression.

19. Litwick, Lampent and Chandelure. Interesting idea.

20. Bulbasaur was my first ever Pokémon, so it will always be special, even more so because it was erased by an Xploder cheat cartridge! As was the Mew I had, and you had to attend the download then!

Rest in peace.

21. Babies, so Pichu, Cleffa, Igglybuff and Azurill, but not Mime Jr. or Smoochum.

I can't believe they try and make Mime Jr. 'cute'.

It's a clown! It's evil!

Smoochum is alright, but it's a duck.

Isn't it?

A duck with the haircut of a mediæval page.

22. Gible. Not just Ash's, which brightened up the series and always came across as far more knowing than it let on, but the one Lyra and that fella she was with had, because it honked when it fell over!

23. Cofagrigus for being Tutankhamun's sarcophagus. It's surprising James didn't have one. Every time it came out, it could've stuffed him inside, but I suppose that doesn't fit with such a humourless era.

24. The Pikachu character, though I went right off Emolga when it was caught by Iris.

Togedemaru is the anarchic one, does what it wants and doesn't care.

25. Cats, especially Espurr because of the noise it makes, and being all alone in that old woman's house.

26. I like Empoleon's design. It looks to be wearing a doily for a waistcoat, but Barry is a dickhead!

27. Hoppip, Skiploom and Jumpluff. Useless in battle, but they're so sweet!

28. Shinx, Luxio and Luxray: thunder cats!

29. Raikou, Entei and Suicune, but especially Raikou for it's colours. I still remember the first time I ran into one in the grass of Johto, and being frightened as to what it was coming at me.

30. Magmar for the classic volcano war with Charizard, though slightly spoiled by speculating that it too is a duck.

31. Tough Pokémon like Gyarados, Dragonite and Tyranitar that are difficult to obtain, worth it, and have to be given double weakness to make it fair for everyone else.

Why is Gyarados a Flying type?

32. I do like Type:Null and Silvally as they remind me of Final Fantasy foes, but 'Type:Null' is one of the worst names there's ever been.

33. Zeraora, even if it does looks more like a Digimon having gone through Golden Armour Energise.

34. Cubone wears the skull of its dead mother! Marowak is her avenger!

Brings out the emo in me.

35. I realise how strange this is, but Tangela. I think because the only one you see in the Indigo League is Erika's, so it had mystery. Not to mention not being able to see its face.

It wears shiny red shoes!

Another Grass Pokémon who can't have a cup of tea with no arms!

#Pokémon #GIFS #Inbox

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go-diane-winchester · 6 years ago

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Cockles vs J2 Tinhats

Someone tagged me in a post with a gif of Jensen smacking Misha in the crotchel region in last year's gag reel. You know the one. Apparently, it is supposed to be proof of Cockles. The person who tagged me ships destiel and cockles. She put a smiley face next to the tag, and she followed me, which might mean she is trying to be friends. Not sure. Well hello hun. Thanks for tagging me. I don't know what the purpose is. Maybe you want me to see what you see. Hunny, I know what cockles is. I am familiar with tinhatting and I am fairly thick-skinned about it. So unless you take the hatty stuff to the actors, I have problem with you...the cockles tinhats actually do tweet hatty things to the actors. Hmm, not cool.

This will be a good opportunity to examine both Cockles and J2 tinhat theories. And why that clip is not proof of cockles for me. Just for fun.

Jensen and Misha

As a lead, Jensen is contracted to be in every episode. Misha, a guest star, is only in a few episodes per season. This means that these two actors don't get to spend a massive amount of time with each other unless they are working. Misha lives, to the best of my knowledge, in Bellingham. Jensen used to live in California, but moved to Austin. Jensen usually does only one panel per year with Misha. Jibcon. If it weren't for conventions, they would spend even less time with each other. If you love some one and you are a lead, wont you ask for more panels with that person. Yes, I know someone will that they don't do more than one panel because the evil bronlies will complain. Hunny, if they cared about fans throwing a tantrum, Misha would have been off the show the minute Jensen received a death threat from hellers.

Misha and Jensen have no common interest. Jensen loves watching sports, playing golf, listening to rock music, playing the guitar and singing. Misha likes, cycling, carpentry and Tibetan throat singing. They have nothing in common. If you like someone who has different interests than you, wouldn't you try to learn more about their interests and join them in pursuing their interests. Jensen and Misha also don't have complimentary personalities. Jensen doesn't swear on stage. Misha is foul mouthed. Jensen doesn't make overtly sexual remarks. Misha is very vulgar on stage. They outlook on the art of acting is also starkly different. Jensen has a love for his craft, whilst Misha has confessed to not having a particular knack or passion for acting.

According to tinhats, Cockles are happily marreid to their respective wives but all four of them have orgies together. Of course, there are variations to this theory. When cockles tinhats are asked what proof they have for how they feel, they say:

Jensen laughs at Misha's jokes [and its a unicorn laugh apparently]

They mention Jibcon, where they claim Jensen got drunk and flirted with Misha on stage.

Jensen and Misha are flirty with each other, caressing each other's cheeks.

Jared Padalecki is proof of cockles because he ships it the most and gives clues to what is going on between Jensen and Misha.

They share shirts.

The crux of Misha's first impression of Jensen [from an earlier con]:

‘He actually seemed standoffish, when I first met him. As I got to know him, however, I realized that he really is standoffish.’

Jared and Jensen

Jared and Jensen are the leads. They spend nine months out of the year working with each other. They have worked together nonstop for the past 13 years and counting. They also live down the road from each other in Austin. They used to live together and were best men at each other's weddings. Their children go to the same school and call dad's friend ''uncle''. Tom is Jensen's greatest fan and Jared regrets not being there for the birth of ''Birdie'' [JJ]. They have an extended family situation. Despite spending all their time together, they also go on holidays together. They are both middle children, both have an older brother and younger sister, grew up in Texas, love country music and sports. Jared plays the guitar in his trailer everyday and, according to Jensen, he is very good. Jared joins Jensen to play golf although he admits he is not very good at it.

Jared doesn't swear on stage. He did once, by accident, but he was mortified and apologized. He makes goofy jokes, not vulgar ones. Jensen admires Jared's rendition of white suit luci but to date hasn't really said anything truly about Casifer. He did laugh at the Empty!Cas voice though. So Jensen admires Jared's acting efforts. It wasn't the first compliment he paid to Jared's acting abilities. He hasn't done the same for Misha's work as Castiel. Jared helped Jensen with the construction work for the FBBC. When Jared got sick at Jib a few years ago, Jensen took to the stage and sang a song because being Jared's emotional support. The next year or so, he sang the song again on Saturday night, with Jared watching teary eyed. That same year Jensen hugged Jared in the closing ceremony. The year after that, Jensen hugged and sang Wayward to Jared in the hallway after the closing ceremony. When he broke down, he hugged Jared many times, but when Misha tried hugging him, Jensen said ''don't''.

According to J2 tinhats, J2 have been married to each other since season four ish. Genevieve signed a contract to be Jared's wife, and Danneel was just helping out her friend Jensen. J2 are the parents of six children. There are variations to this theory too. When asked for proof of their feelings, J2 tinhats say the following:

Jared wiped his snotty nose on Jensen's sleeve.

Jared called his drink and dinner with Jensen #datenight on Twitter.

When someone called Sandy [Jared's ex-girlfriend] his beard, she liked the comment.

When Travis spent his entire panel talking about how in love J2 are, he got pulled out of the next con.

For Jared's honeymoon, he went on a group trek up Machu Pichu and slept in a tent, and for Jensen's honeymoon, Danneel's brother Gino went with them. Both were delayed honeymoons.

Jared wore Jensen's underwear.

The crux of Jared's first impression of Jensen [from a recent afternoon panel]:

'He and I had so much in common. It didn't feel like a blind date.'

I don't tinhat, but I don't blame the J2 tinhat. The Cockles tinhats don't seem to have compelling info, and they take the hatting to the stars. That is not cool.

As far as the gag reel goes, smacking someone in the crotch area is not a sign of affection. It is horseplay. Its pranking. Jared fondles Misha in the crotch area. Misha barreled into Richard, landing on top of him. Its not a big deal, and its certainly not sound evidence of anything other than boys being boys. Enjoy your hatting, but leave the actors alone and don't go out of your way to pull people into your circle. But the J2 tinhats don't do that? As far as I know.

Forgive all typos. Insomnia sucks!

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judyjudkins · 6 years ago

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spider-man pokemon au

Peter contrary to popular belief doesn’t have any spider pokemon until after he creates his hero persona. His companion is actually a lil Furret Uncle Ben caught as a Sentret for Peter when he moved in. Her name is Furry and he has to live with that (he was like 5 or whatever of course he’d name her something like that). She probably goes out on spider things with him, she has her own costume and everything, and clings onto his back when he’s swinging. He does befriend a Spinarak during this time, but she’s more of a wild pokemon that just like hanging out with him.

Ben probably has a doggish pokemon, probably like a normal type, or something like a Growlithe. I can’t shake the idea of May having a Kangaskhan. It’s probably like a relatively small one, she helps May around the house a lot and is Mom.

Max definitely has a bunch of electric types that follow him around after his transformation into Electro. Just like hordes of wild pokemon that like to hang out around him. I like the idea of his partner being like a lil Pichu he dotes on. Just a babey.

Otto has an Omanyte you can’t change my mind. It evolves into Omastar a little after he becomes Doc Ock. As an Omanyte it’s shy and gentle with everyone, but after it evolves it stays very loving with its trainer but is an absolute bastard with everyone else. I can also see him picking up a Malamar later or something like a Porygon.

Norman has a shiny Glameow, she wears sweaters probably and is very spoiled. His partner tho is a Sableye. He also kept his wife’s Sneasel after she passed away and Sneasel is Sableye’s goth gf. I can’t tell if Sneasel is really big or Sableye is really small, but compared to her Sableye is teeny.

Harry has an Eevee for Symbolism tm and also because I can see him with a Flareon. He might also have a Poochyena. Eevee I can see Norm pressuring him to evolve it into an Umbreon, dark types are probably like a weird family tradition or something. Oh my god there’s exactly an episode in the first series about this oh my god anyway.

They have so many pokemon in that house I’m not even done why. do they. Anyway When Norman does Goblin things he meets a Gengar and a Crobat pair that lives in one of the lesser used Oscorp warehouses. Again they’re more like wild pokemon that like hanging out with a person, but they take a shine to him. When he goes out on Crimes they follow, Gengar floats just behind Crobat to look like he’s riding a glider and imitates all of Goblins moves, especially when he’s on a dramatic villain monologue. No one can tell if it just really likes him or is making fun of him. On mimicking/mirroring notes, his Sableye probably does the same thing with more mundane stuff. Like a toddler. When he’s doing paperwork it probably tries to do it too and has to be set up with like paper and crayons off to the side so it doesn’t try to do his work for him lmao. God I really love pets/pokemon mimicking their owners it’s so cUTE.

Mac definitely has a Drapion. He didn’t even get it after he started being Scorpion he just always had the lil guy. It was fate.

It’s hurting me so hard not to give JJJ a Loudred just for the Jokes tm. It physically pains me not to. I can see him also having a small bird like a Fletchling. He sends it through the office with little notes that say shit like “get back to work” for when he can’t come out to yell Personally. No one blames the little bird though and most give it a little pet before it flies off again.

Speaking of birds yes Adrian has so many. He’s got maybe a Braviary or a Staraptor that looks just as old as he is. I’m leaning towards old grey shiny Staraptor but I love Staraptor so I’m kind of biased. Smaller bird pokemon probably follow him around when he’s flying and doing crimes, like the little fish that hang out under mantarays and whale sharks. Flying under the shadow of this Bigger Bird who doesn’t do anything to them to protect themselves from Less Friendly Big Birds.

MJ has a Charmeleon definitely. Maybe also a Lillipup but deffo a Charmeleon.

I can see Gwen with dragon types. A little Dratini maybe.

That’s literally all I can think of at this point but like. Spider-Man Pokemon AU.

#loud honking #EXTREMELY long post under cut #Marvel #Pokemon #i've been thinking about this a LOT over the last few months which is why some are SUPER fleshed out #noah fence but half of these pokemon i've come up with i'd do anything for #SABLEYE? YES SABLEYE? I LOVE YOU #i love sableye sm yall #yes ive been typing this out in drafts all day

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 7 years ago

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T&L part 3: Oh, brother

Word count:1859

Part four

I do not believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.

- Maya Angelou

Arya’s POV

I’m standing on the beach again. I can feel someone watching me. Turning towards the tree line, I can see something lurking in the shadows but I’m not scared. Walking in the direction of the unknown creature, curiosity pulling me to walk faster, the creature fled before I even reached the green covers of the forest and all I see is a big blur of dark silver fur.

Instead of running in the opposite direction, I started running after it. Weaving though the trees as if I had roamed these woodlands since a young age, with branches occasionally hitting my face as I was gaining on the creature, until my damn clumsiness decided to step in and I tripped on a root and falling face first onto a dense patch of leaves which still hurt like a bitch, then rolling freely down a small hill. Touching my head blood marks stained my hands, I could see my ankle was probably bruised and the creature was nowhere to be found. Looking around, all I could see was darkness descending upon me, making me weary about how would I get out of the now foreign woods.

The trees were much thicker in the area I found myself in, under the cloak of darkness surrounding me, wind whistling through the woods and cold air licking at my face, creeping under my clothes spreading across my skin as an icy tidal wave, teeth chattering and breath turning into vapor, quickly numbing me. I tried walking in any direction, hoping to stumble upon something familiar, but it was of no use.

Suddenly I heard a sinister laugh echoing around me bringing a different kind of chill down my spine. Spinning around trying to locate the source of the laugh my senses heightened in the darkness, my heart beating faster and adrenaline already coursing through my veins urging my body to choose the flight instead of fight response as if it knows that this foe is undefeatable.

Hearing crunching of the twigs and dead leaves on the cold hard ground I started running. I ran faster then I thought possible, my mind racing faster then my legs, lungs burning with each breath, jumping over logs while praying to God I get out of the woods alive. Looking back I could see the trees swiftly closing the path behind me almost protectively so the evil entity wouldn’t be able to catch me. As I turned to look ahead I slammed into a hard, almost concrete….wall?….no way.

Figuring it was a tree, I groaned on the floor, but then I heard it again. That laugh. Looking up all I could see was flash of red eyes coming at me at an alarmingly high speed. As I screamed I could hear a distant, painful howl.

„Arya, wake up! Wake up! It’s just a dream sis, it’s just a dream!“

Opening my eyes I found myself in my new room, I was sweating buckets, still screaming and shaking, my ears ringing. I could feel someone shaking me, calling my name. Looking up I could see Sam inspecting me, giving me a once-over to make sure I’m okay.

„It was just a dream Arya, I’m here, you’re safe. Just breathe. Slowly inhale…now exhale. Inhale….and exhale. Good.“

After a few minutes, I finally calmed down, Emily brought up a glass of water I downed in seconds. And I gave them a puzzled look after I saw a lamp on my bed.

„Thank you Emily, and thank you Sam but I am sorry for waking you up this early and probably scaring you half to death.“

Emily laughed, „ It’s okay sweetie, plus you should have seen Sam, he thought someone got into your room and he planned on using our lamp as a weapon for the rescue. He just ripped it from the nightstand and ran like crazy almost crashing into a wall on his way here. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen him do.“

„Hey, not fair, I was sleeping. It’s a miracle I was able to grab anything at all considering I just woke up and you know I’m NOT a morning person. I guess the thought of my sister being murdered got me on my own TWO feet in mere seconds.“ He smiles with a glint in his eye.

„Hey, another thing we have in common! I am not a morning person either.“ I said with a wide grin which he returned and nodded while Emily was shaking her head trying to suppress a smile. But then, they both got serious and cast a worried look my way.

„Arya, what was the dream about? What scared you so much?“ he asked.

As I was explaining my dream to them, I saw they exchanged a few weird glances when I mentioned the big, dark silver furry creature, but when I mentioned the red eyes and a howl at the end Emily’s eyes were wide and Sam was practically shaking while gripping my sheets so tight I though he would rip them to shreds.

„Sounds scary, but like I said, it’s nothing but a dream. And I’d never let you walk around the forest alone like that anyways. I just got you and I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, remember? Big brother always comes to your rescue, at least it’s what google said. I’m going for a run, I’ll be back later. Do you need anything?“ he asked with tension in his voice.

„No, thanks. I have that interview at the Forks hospital, I should get ready, it would look bad if I was late. See you later I guess. And hey, Sam,“ i look at him with a soft smile, „you’re doing pretty well as a big brother so far.“

He left, Emily following close behind so I’d have some privacy to freshen up and get dressed.

After breakfast and a few encouraging words and instructions on how to get to the hospital from Emily I got in my car and blasted some music to ease my nerves. Although I’m more of a Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Linkin Park or Tame Impala kind of a girl, I truly enjoy all types of music.

Gotta have a song for every mood I’m in, so this time I started by blasting „Power“ by Kat Graham followed by Taylor Swift and Beyonce’s hits ending on a badass note with „Seven Nation Army“ by The White Stripes as I found parking on the lot in front of my future workplace.

Walking in I decided it would be easier to just head straight to the Information Center so I don’t spend time walking around looking for my mentor. I was painfully shy at times, so asking for info from a complete stranger was making me uneasy and shaky, but I had to do it, I couldn’t be late.

„Excuse me. I’m Darya Johnson and I am here for an interview for an opening in the trauma department. I was wondering if you could show me where to find my mentor. They didn’t really tell me his name so I’m kinda hoping you knew who it is.“

God, my voice was pitchy and annoying when I was nervous.

The woman glanced at me, „wait just a moment“ and then she made a call, but I couldn’t really understand what she was talking.

„Your mentor will be right here in a few.“

„Thank you so much“ I politely, and a bit too enthusiastically responded.

And just as promised, a few minutes later someone cleared their voice behind me. I turned around at the sound, but was at a loss for words as my mouth fell open. The man standing before me was maybe only a few years older then me, he was young, a lot taller then me, he was blond, but not a regular blonde looking type, it was almost golden… and he was more handsome than any movie star I’d seen. He was very pale, though, and tired-looking, with circles under his eyes which was often a side effect of working as a doctor since you get minimum of sleep. His eyes were gentle and…golden? No wait��.. yup golden. I’ve never seen this kind of a mutation before and it had me even more in awe. This man was like an embodiment of Apollo himself.

„Hello Darya, I’m doctor Carlisle Cullen, follow me please.“

Focus, damn it! Your mentor is so hot your brain is melting, so what?! You’re a professional, get over it! I never go for the obvious drop dead gorgeous guys anyways, not that I had a boyfriend to compare him to. Buried in my thoughts, trying to pull myself together I failed to notice he stopped walking and like a clutz that I am I ran right into a wall. No, scratch that, into Carlisle. How defined was this guy?! I mean seriously, give me a damn break!

„Sorry, I got a bit distracted.“ I mussed up an excuse while he just smiled like he knew just how mushed my brain was since the second I met him. Of course he knew, there’s no way he didn’t considering his looks.

„I said we’re right in front of my office, come in so we can start the interview which we both know is merely a formality. I just want to meet my resident.“

„Oh, you know I’m just going to be coming in few days a week? I’m going to be more like a little extra help if things get too hectic around here.“

He nods, but his soft smile never falters.

Entering his office I could tell he was an old fashioned guy since most doctors decorate and make their office look like a millionaire’s mansion. His office was simple with a big bookcase, a wooden table with neatly folded papers on the smooth surface, two chairs and a small couch in the corner of the room which was meant for naps during long nights.

He asked me a few questions about where I was born and about my achievements. We had mutual love for nature so he told me about a trip he took with his wife (bummer, of course he was already taken, he was out of my league anyways) and adoptive kids to Machu Pichu. I gushed to him about my trip to Hawaii (since it’s the only place I’ve ever traveled to with vacation in mind). After a while he told me I’d have my own pager in case of big traumas and showed me my schedule which showed I was working early shifts from 6 am to 2 pm, and told me I start next week.

With a smile I drove back to La Push, grabbed snacks and a few pizzas on my way back not knowing that when I get back I was in for a big surprise.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #sam uley #emily young #nightmare #wolf #wolfpack #vampire #red eyes #forest #woods #er #trauma center #forks #carlisle #carlisle cullen #doctor #paul lahote x reader #carlisle cullen x reader

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thatuglydino · 8 years ago

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Rules: Answer the questions in a new post, and tag twenty blogs you’d like to know better. Nickname: Shy (bepp annoyingly calls me shyshy) Starsign: Taurus Height: 5'5 Time right now: 5:45 Last thing I googled: Daveed Diggs Favorite Music Artists: Soundtracks??? Last Movie Watched: Moana last t.v. show watched: Wife Swap What are you wearing now: A big painted shirt. Sweatpants and boots??? When did you create this blog?: October of 2015 Do you have any other blogs? Art blog @artsy-deer and a few personal blogs Why did you choose your URL?: I honestly don't know Gender: Girl Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw!! Pokemon team: (I'm gonna say my dream team) Bayleef, Lycanrock, Rowlet, Ampharos, Pichu, Charizard Favorite color: Like... a magenta of some sort Average hours of sleep: If I'm being healthy that day 10 hrs. But normally 6-7 How many blankets do you sleep with?: Dude any blankets I can find Dream Job: Broadway Actress Followers: Art blog-88 This blog-99 I tag uh... @psychedemigod @alexwantstobattle uh that's pretty much everyone I know enough to tag I was tagged by @savior-of-the-dreaming-dragons

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allcheatscodes · 8 years ago

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pokemon ruby gba

http://allcheatscodes.com/pokemon-ruby-gba/

pokemon ruby gba

Pokemon Ruby cheats & more for Game Boy Advance (GBA)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Pokemon Ruby cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for Game Boy Advance (GBA). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the Game Boy Advance cheats we have available for Pokemon Ruby.

Also Known As: Pokemon: Ruby

Genre: Role-Playing, Third-Person 2D RPG Developer: Game Freak, Inc Publisher: Nintendo ESRB Rating: Everyone Release Date: March 17, 2003

Hints

Registeel, Regirock, Regice

After doing the whole thing with the sealed chamber you need to go to these followin locations in order to find the three listed above. Registeel: Found over near the safari zone, keep going over to the left until you see steps going upward go up them keep going forward, and there should be some tall grass go through to the otherside to where the ruin maniac is go up there should be a big rock with a whole in go through go to the middle of the room (exact middle) and use the move Fly another whole should appear in the wall go through it and there’s registeel. Regice: Can be found on route 105. Start from petalburg city go over to the route go down until you see land on your right side go over to it and go up there should be another large rock witn a whole in it go inside then stand by the door and don’t press anything at all the whole should appear. Regirock: Can be found in the desert ruins near the bottom there should be a cave go inside then read the text in the middle take two steps right then two steps down and use strength the door should open.

Relicanth

Found on the ocean floor of Routes 124 through 126.

Receive A Durin Berry

Tell the Berry Master’s Wife “COOL LATIOS” to receive the berries. You can only tell her one of these each day.

Solve The Sealed Chamber

Go to Pacificlog Town and surf west to the rapids,then keep going west at the south boarder until your somewhere beetween route 133 and 132 and you should find a tiny spot of calm water with a diving spot in the middle. Dive in it and go all the way south, read the message, it tells you to go to the surface here. Use dive right in front of the inscription(the one to go to the surface)and go north until you reach a odd wall of rocks.Once there read this form of weird writing,it tells you to dig here, once done you need two certian pokemon, Wailord and Relicanth, these can both be seen in the wild, but there rare. You cancapture Wailord at route 129 by fishing or diving I think(I raised mine from a wailmer) and you can catch Relicanth from route 124 to sootapolis city.Once that is done, go back to the chamber, then go through the sealed door(I explained instructions earlier) and approach the northern mound,put Wailord and Relicanth in first and last position of your party, the ground will start to shake and you`ll here three doors open from a distance(if the order you put Wailord and Relicanth in the first time dosn`t work, switch there positions and try again.

Slakoth

Found in Petalburg Woods.

Kyogre And Groudon

If you have a gameshark for the game boy advance, and the move anywhere cheat, go down from Sootopolis City, is that how you spell it? , and use surf, go left and there’s the two legendaries. BY THE WAY IT IS NOT GROUDON IN THE CAVE DON’T GO IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM YOUR GAME WILL FREEZE, MINE DID AND WAS DESTROYED FOREVER. Actually, you can go in the cave, but really don’t talk to him. It’s not Groudon, it’s the Champion I think. I’m not sure who it is, but I’m sure it’s not Groudon.

Secret Base: How?

Somewhere along Route 111, there is an odd-tree with a boy standing in front of it. Talk to him and he will give you a Tm Secret Power. Use it on a dent in rocks or odd-tree. I would suggest near the Safari Zone to remember it. You can buy goods to put inside the base or earn them. Main shopping Zone: Slateport Market (outside area).

Thievery

There’s an easy way to get otherwise rare items. First, get a pokemon that knows trick, covet, or thief (you can teach that one through a TM). Many people don’t know that certain wild pokemon are often holding rare items. You can use one of the stealing moves to take them from them. For example, need some rawst berries? Wild numel and vulpix are always (100% of the time) holding them. Need some extra stones? Solrock hold sun stones 5% of the time, and Lunatones hold moon stones 5% of the time. Also, chinchou hold yellow shards 5% of the time, corsola hold red shards 5% of the time, clamperl hold blue shards 5% of the time, and relicanth hold green shards 5% of the time. These shards can be traded to the collector near mossdeep for thunderstones, firestones, waterstones, and leafstones respectively. Perhaps you’re strapped for cash? Grimer hold nuggets 5% of the time, gulpin hold big pearls 5% of the time, and staryu hold stardust 50% of the time and star pieces 5% of the time. There are also rare items that can be collected from wild pokemon. Bagon and horsea hold dragon scales 5% of the time (this item, when given to seadra and traded, evolve seadra into kingdra). Sandshrew hold quick claws 5% of the time, shuppet and duskull hold spell tags 5% of the time, and koffing hold smoke balls 5% of the time. Geodude hold everstones 5% of the time, roselia and cacnea hold poison barbs 5% of the time, and magnetmite and beldum hold metal coats 5% of the time. Abra hold twistedspoons 5% of the time, trapinch hold soft sand 5% of the time, aron and lairon hold hard stones 5% of the time, and doduo and dotrio hold sharp beaks 5% of the time. Finally, if you are running low on heart scales, just hunt down some luvdisc in ever grande city. They hold heart scales 50% of the time! Oh, one more thing. Pikachu hold light balls 5% of the time. This mystical item both raises the special attack of pikachu and raichu and, if you give the light ball to one of them in breeding, the pichu that hatches will know the move volt tackle. Good hunting!

How To Use Your Master Ball

Use an Ultra Ball on Groudon, the Regis, and Rayquaza. I caught Rayqyaza with an Ultra Ball. Use a strong pokemon like a level 74 Exploud. (Thats what I used) and have a lot of ultra balls. NOTE:Save the game before encountering Rayquaza. Save your Master Ball for Latios. (It will flee on the first turn so use your master ball on it).

Easy Way To Lvl Up Pokemon In Daycare Over Night

Place The Pokemon You Want To Raise In The DayCare After That Go To A Slope Where You Need To Use A Mach Bike To Get Up. Instead Get A Acro Bike (or walk) and walk up however you will fall back down find something to keep the up button pressed and over night they will lvl up alot (my pokemon was a lvl 28 I did it and it reached lvl 49 and 50) Hope this helps you!

Latios/Latias

You can get Latios in Ruby and Latias in Sapphire. You can only find them in Hoenn. They are hard to catch so be prepared to catch them when you find them.

Get A Shiftry

To get a Shiftry you have to use a leaf stone onNuzleaf.

Battle Tower

To get to the battle tower you have to beat the pokemon leauge and then you can go on the S.S. Tidal and go to battle tower. (after you get there you can fly to battle tower)

Duskullops

Other than evolving, Duskullops can be found at the Sky Piller.

High Tides In Shoal Cave

If it is raining in route 119, then it is high tide in Shoal Cave.

Latios/Latias

Whenever you find Latios/Latias follow it. When its in the same area as you are save your game then walk through the grass for a while. Eventually youll bump into it, then get a pokemon with mean look to use it on them. Weaken it then keep throwing ultra balls at it. It will eventually fled find it again and its HP will be how it was when it fled from you before then do the directons i told you to do before. At one point of time you should catch it. It worked for me.

Catch Absol

You can find Absol on route 120.

Find Chimecho

Chimecho can be found in the grass on Mt. Pire.

All The Gym Leaders And Tribes

Your 1st Gym leader you will take on is Roxanne in Rustboro City and her Pokemon are lv. 14 Geodude and lv. 15 Nosepass. If you take her tribe on with Grass or Water type Pokemon the battle will be so easy.Your 2nd Gym leader you will take on is Brawly in Dewford Town and his Pokemon are lv. 17 Machop and lv. 18 Makuhita. If you bring a good flying or psychic pokemon you will zip through the battle, but you will need Flash to get to Brawly.Your 3rd Gym leader you will battle is Wattson in Mauville City and his Pokemon are lv. 22 Magnemite, lv. 20 Voltorb and lv. 23 Magneton. Get a ground type Pokemon and just count yourself worthy of Dynamo Badge.Your 4th Gym leader is Flannery in Lavaridge Town and her pokemon are 2x lv. 26 Slugma and a lv. 28. Torkoal. Put out her Fire Type with Ground, Rock, and/or a water to beat her lineup.Your 5th Gym leader is your own dad, Norman, in Petalburg City and his Pokemon are 2x Slaking on lv. 28 and lv. 31 and a Vigoroth on lv. 30. Knock out your dad’s Pokemon with a good fighting Pokemon.Your 6th Gym leader is Winona in Fortree City and her Pokemon are lv. 31 Swellow, lv. 30 Pelipper, lv. 32 Skarmory and lv.33 Altaria. Demolish her Pokemon with an electric, ice and/or a rock, but use ice on Altaria because of its Earthquake.Your 7th Gym leader is in Mossdeep and this time there are two Gym leaders,Liza and Tate, and their Pokemon are Lv. 42 Solrock and Lunatone. Defeat her Pokemon with either a dark or water type Pokemon. You Last Gym Battle is in Sootopolis and the gym leader is Wallace and her Pokemon are lv. 40 luvdisc, lv. 40 Sealeo, Lv. 42 Whiscash, lv. 42 Seaking, and lv. 43 Milotic. Stomp by her Pokemon with either grass or electric.You next challenge is the Elite Four In Ever Grande City. That you find out yourself.

Silver Powder

The Silver Powder is a hold item that increases the power of Bug type attacks. There are two ways to get the Silver Powder. The first way is to win it at the Battle Tower. The second way is to go to Route 120. There should be a Bug Maniac named Brandon. You have to beat him in a battle five times. On the sixth time have a Pokemon that knows the move Trick. Use trick on all of Brandon’s Pokemon and one will have the Silver Powder!

Get The Blackbelt And The Dragon Fang

To get the Blackbelt, go to Route 115. There will be a trainer called Blackbelt Nob. Beat him in a fight five times. On the sixth time, have a Pokemon that knows the move Trick. Use Trick on all of his Pokemon. One will have the Blackbelt!Getting the Dragon Fang is the same way. Go to Meteor Falls. There will be a trainer called Dragon Tamer Nicholas. After fighting him five times, use the move Trick on one of his Pokemon. One will have the Dragon Fang!

Acro Bike Bridges

You knowthose thin bridges that you can’t walk across? Well, you use the Acro Bike to jump from the end of one to the beginning of another. (This can be useful in the Safari Zone and on route 121.)

Steven

Steven’s house is in Mossdeep. Go to your left. There will be a guy. He will say this is what Steven would want me to do, an he gives you kings rock. The house forward of him is Steven’s.Inside there are rare stones. A note and a pokeball. Inside is Beldum. And the note says that Beldum is Stevens favorite. I’m not sure if you beat the elite four first but I did.

Get To Level 100!!!

To get to level 100, you got to train really hard at the Elite Four or mix records with your most powerful friend that has a secret base and train by battling him/her.

Get Metagross

To get Metagross, Stevens pokemon from elite four, beat Steven and elite four, then go to Steven’s house, He will give you the first form of metagross.

Save Your Master Ball!!!!!

Ok When you catch Kyogre/Groudon, USE AN ULTRA BALL!!! Don’t waste your master ball and make the mistake I did. Same thing with Rayquaza. He is so easy! After a bunch of tries I caught him with an ultra ball at FULL HP!! NO LIE! So use your Master ball on Latios/Latias. DON’T WASTE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTREMELY HARD TO CATCH AND YOU NEED A MASTER BALL FOR THEM!!!!!!!!

Zangoose

Catch Zangoose on route 114.(only ruby)

Coin Case

In mauville there is a game corner. In mauville go to the mart, stop. Don’t go in. go to the house on the left of the mart. go in. Talk to the lady. She says she wants harbor mail. Go to slateport mart and buy harbor mail. go back to mauville. Go to her, she will say the same thing. Then poof. She notices you have harbor mail and trades you a coin case for it. Have some money and buy coins. And play all day.

Catch Seviper

Catch Seviper on route 114. (only Sapphire)

Get A Ludicolo

To get the Ludicolo you have to give a Lombre a water stone.

Catch Spoink

To catch Spoink search grass in the jagged pass.

Win The Pokemon Lottery!

Go to the Lilycove Department Store in Lilycove City. Talk to the lady on the first floor on the right. She will give you a Pokemon Lottery Ticket. If 2 numbers on the ticket match the same 2 numbers of the ID number of any of your Pokemon, you will get a ??. If 3 numbers match, you will get an Exp. Share. If 4 numbers match, you will get Max Revive. If all 5 numbers match, you will get a Master Ball!

Long But Easy Way Too Catch Rayquaza NEED Kyogre At Level 53-56

Go to the tower which Rayquaza is and SAVE RIGHT IN FROUNT OF HIM! Have about 18 ultraballs and Kyogre in front.Press a in front of him the the battle begins. Use Kyogre’s Ice Beam on Rayquaza and if it kills him,turn the game off and press a in front of him. If he is still alive he’ll be very weak and then use your ultraballs and then he’ll be caught.

Safari Ball

Use against Pokemon in Safari Zone(quantity:30), if you pay 500$ in Safari Zone on route 121 they will give you 30 Safari Ball and you can enjoy catching pokemon in Safari Zone.

Azurill

Must hatch from an egg you receive at the pokemon day care, but only of Male or female Marill visit the Day Care while one of them is holding Sea Incense.

Dive Balls

Dive Ball,the ball that better against Pokemon on the floor,and you can find Dive Ball at Mossdeep City for 1,000$ and at Abandoned Ship.

Catch Rayquaza Easy

First when you catch Kyogre or Groudon catch it with an ultra ball and save the master ball. Then after you beat the elite four get to Pasificedlog town and head right to route 130. Find a path that leads up wards to a cave. That is Sky Pillar. Make your way to the top using the Mach Bike to find a level 70 Rayquaza waiting to be caught by the master ball you saved.

Ralts

To catch Ralts, a Psychic type Pokemon, early in the game, go into the grass directly outside of Petelsburg. You must have a positive disposition to encounter this Pokemon, which means your Pokemon must be attracted to you. This early in the game, it is almost impossible for them to really like you. It is weak at first, but a powerful Psychic type Pokemon can be very useful later in the game.Found in Route 102

Regis

Use the following steps to capture the three mysterious Pokemon called the Regis. Go to the southeast part of Route 134 and dive into the water. It is difficult to get to due to the currents, and it is the only deep part of that route. You will find a cave. At a part of the cave, there are some Braille writing on the wall. At that point, float to the top of the water, where you will end up in a cavern. Go into the last room by going forward, use Dig, and in the next room you must do something strange. Put a Relicanth in the front of your party, and a Wailord at the last place. Walk to the top of the room and read the Brail . You will trigger an earthquake, which will unlock the Regis. You can fish up a Wailmer to evolve at level 40 at Route 122, and find a Relicanth outside Sootopolis in the underwater grass (rarely, but it is there).

Sharpedo

Once you are able to track down Sharpedo in your Pokedex, do whatever is necessary to capture it. It is an excellent Water/Dark Pokemon that already knows Crunch, Dark’s most powerful attack. His speed is incredible and will be of great use later in the game.

Skarmory

Found on Route 113.

Skitty

Other than trading for Pikachu, it can be found on Route 116.

Treecko

Treecko is a Grass type Pokemon. You can get it as a starter. Treecko evolves at level 16 and turns in to Grovyle, a Grass type. After that, it evolves again at level 36 to Sceptile, a Grass type.

Tropius

Found on Route 119.

Torchic

Torchic is a Fire type Pokemon and you get it as a starter. Torchic evolves at level 16 and turns in to Combusken, a Fire/Fighting type. After that, it evolves at level 36 into Blaziken, a Fire/Fighting type.

Surskit

Found on Routes 102, 111, 114, 117, and 120.

Wailord

Other than by evolution, it can be found on Route 129

Xatu

Other than by evolution, it can be found on Safari Zone

Pokemon Contest

In Pokemon Contest houses, you may enter your Pokemon into a contest for a chance to win a medal. However if you enter without any Porok level ups, you will have a very low chance of winning. The way to raise this is to go out and find the trees with berries on them, then press A. You will then receive 1 to 4 berries. If you now go to a Pokemon House, you will see small gray machines on the right. The empty one on the top is for multi-player. For now, find a house in a city that only has a man at the bottom. Go to the other side of the machine and press A. You will then be asked to pick a Porok (berry) and throw it in. The spinner will come down and start moving. The objective is to press A just when the spinner hits your arrow: Circle Within A Circle: Direct hit (much faster)Circle: Near hit (slightly faster)X: Miss (slower: The faster you (and your opponent) get the spinner moving, the better. Once the meter at the top hits the end, it is over and the results and the fastest RPM the spinner was moving will appear. You will then receive a Blended Porok. The level of it depends on how fast you got the machine going. The average appears to be 11. Next, open your Special Items Pocket and go to your “Pez dispenser” type item (which you must have to play the game — it is obtained from the girl in the first contest house). You will then pick a Blended Porok and feed it to a pet, making one of his Pokemon Contest stats (viewable in the Poke-Navi) go up. Some can even raise multiple stats. The more you do this, the better chance you have of winning.

Best Type

The best type of starting Pokemon (in order) are: Water, Grass, and Fire.

Catching Pokemon Easier

You need a Pokemon that knows the Endeavor move. Have the Pokemon get hurt so that it only has about 1 HP remaining. Go into battle with the pokemon that you want to catch. Use Endeavor. The move will take the opponent down to 1 HP also, and make it a lot easier to catch.Go to the Safari Zone with a Pokmeon that knows Sweet Scent. Instead of walking and wasting steps, stand in one spot and use Sweet Scent. The wild Pokemon will come to you.

Powerful Moves

Trecho, Tochic, and Mudkip can only learn Gigadrain (Trecho), Flamethrower (Tochic), and Hydropump (Mudkip) in their original stage around level 40.

Defeating Your Rival

When facing your rival at the start that has Treecko, use a level 6 Wurmple; Mudkip use a level 7 Silccoon or Cascoon; Torchic use a level 5 to 6 Wingull. Wingull can be found in Route 103. Wurmple can be found in Route103. To get Cascoon or Silccoon, evolve Wurmple at level 7.

Experience Share

After you deliver the letter to Steven, go to the Devon Corp. and talk to the president. He should give you an Experience Share for impressing him, and for his thanks.

Itemfinder

When you first use the Itemfinder, it may seem as if it only gives generalized hints about surrounding items. However, upon closer inspection, each use turns your character in the direction of the buried item. By moving in that direction and using the Itemfinder again, you can effectively track down any item.

Master Ball

A Master Ball can also be found in the Team Aqua hideout. You only have one chance of getting it.

Premier Ball

Buy at least ten Pokeballs and you will get a free Premier Ball.

Secret Bases

You can only have sixteen items stored in your Secret Base. When you are trying to find a good base for yourself, look inside every different base you find. The interior of the rooms differ from place to place, though some are the same. If you already have a base and want to see inside others, save your game, enter it, and make it your base if it suits you.

Hidden Message

After you unlock the three rare Pokemon, the Pokemon in the cave on the road after the town with the tree houses, the hidden messages is “With new time Hope and love Aim to the sky in the middle”.

Rare Stones

On Route 24, there is a treasure hunter. Give him a shard and he will give you a stone that represents the color of the shard. For example, Red Shard for a Fire Stone, Blue Shard for a Water Stone, and a Green Shard for a Leaf Stone.

Scanner

When you go on the Abandoned Ship and end up talking to a man who needs a Scanner, find a room with water in it. Have a Pokemon that knows Dive and can use it with you. Dive at the end of the pool, and come back up slightly away. You will be in a room with six doors. In each will be a key to the next room. It will shine on the ground, but it may just be a shiny piece of trash. The key is in door two. Go back and talk to the man again. He will say to deliver it to Captain Stern for him, and that he wants to further explore the ship. Fly back to Slateport and go into the ferry ride. Captain Stern is there. Talk to him and he will offer a trade for the Scanner; the Deepseascale, and the Deepseatooth. The Deepseascale raises the Special Defense of a Clamperl, and the Deepseatooth raises its Special Attack.

TM 02

In order to do this, you must Have waterfall, Surf Pokemon at least level 35. Aqua/Maga will steal the meteorite. However, there is more for the Meteor Falls. Go deep into the cave. Use Waterfall on the fall. Go through the cave and find TM 02.

TM 43

Go through the tunnel by the cable cars that lead to Mt. Chimney. Then, go right until you can go up. You will find a person looking at a sort of “pine tree”. Talk to him to receive TM43 or Secret Power. You can now make Secret Bases.

Game Freak

After defeating the Elite Four, go to Lilycove. Go into the inn and talk to the man there. He talks about some people who call themselves Game Freak. If you go upstairs you will find them, just like in Celedon City in Pokemon Red, Blue, and Yellow. Also, go in front of the inn keeper watching television. He will get mad and yell, “Hey you, down in front! Move I can’t see the television!”.

Leveling Up

Whatever the experience points needed for the Pokemon you left in the Daycare Center to reach the next level, is how many steps you need to take when walking around. For example, if your Pikachu was on level 3 when you left him at the Daycare Center and he needs 57 experience points to reach level 4, you must take 57 steps for him to reach that level.To make your Pokemon levels up faster, go to the Daycare Center and drop off a Pokemon. Go outside and walk forwards then backwards (or vice versa). Put your Pokemon in the Daycare Center and leave it. Go down and to the left. There should be a line of trees. Go directly up against the trees and get on your bike (Acro recommended, as it is the fastest). Ride all the way to the left as far as you can go. Keep going back and forth as far as possible and eventually your Pokemon will gain levels fairly quickly. This is also useful if you want eggs. Note: If you leave your Pokemon in the Daycare Center for too long, it will not evolve into its next form (if it has one).

Bike Wheelie

Press B on a bike to pop a wheelie. Without a bike you will run.

Bike Bunny Hops

Get the Acro Bike and hold B without moving the D-pad to bunny hop.

Mach Bike/Acro Bike Abilities

Once you reach Mauville City, there is a building called Rydel’s Cycles. Go inside and talk to Rydel. Once he learns that you have walked from Littleroot Town to Mauville City, he will give you a bike to ride. There are two bikes that you can have — the Mach Bike and the Acro Bike. The Mach Bike can go fast, but has very bad handling. It is used for riding up sandy slopes and for speeding past crumbling floors in some caves. The Acro Bike is the one you can do tricks on. It does not go as fast as the Mach Bike, but has very good handling. You can hold B while riding to do wheelies, or stop and hold B to do little bunny hops. You can also tap B + D-pad in any direction to take little jumps. This bike is used for getting across narrow, white rails that span some rivers.

Watch Television

After you become league champion. watch television for rare Pokemon sightings and special deals at shops in Slateport.

Tips On Starters

Torchic proves to be the best as you get farther in the game, but proves to be difficult in the beginning. Mudkip is strong in the beginning, but weaker against the Elite Four. Mudkip is a good choice if playing Pokemon Ruby. Treeko is somewhat neutral, but is best to choose if playing Pokemon Sapphire because of Team Aqua.

Trick Master’s House

You can find Trick Master’s house above Slateport City. Sometimes you have to get a HM move to complete the level. There are tasks to complete and trainers to battle. You have to find a scroll and memorize it, then go to the door in the back. You will see Trick Master. Talk to him and he will give you a prize. If you want to see him again, you will have to wait for him.

The Two Pokemon Of The Elements

When going after the legendary representing the team of your game (Team Aqua or Team Magma), bring about 30 Ultra Balls, quite a few Revives, and at least a level 50 Pokemon. The Pokemon will be at level 45, and will be extremely difficult to catch. The only sure way to catch it is if you bring a Pokemon with a move that will freeze or paralyze it. Try as hard as you can not to kill it, but get it down to a red zone so far down that you can barely see it. Then, go mad throwing Ultra Balls at it. Do not use other Pokeballs. The will help greatly against the Elite Four and the final Gym leader.

Strong Pokemon

After catching Groudon, it should know Fire Blast, Slash, and Earthquake. Do the side quest where you have to go to New Mauvile and get Thunderbolt. Teach Thunderbolt to it, making it forget Slash. Then, go to the Safari Zone and get Solarbeam. Make it forget the move that is not Earthquake, Fire Blast and Thunderbolt, and teach it Solarbeam. Your Groudon now knows four of the most powerful moves in the game and they are all of different types. Get it up to level 70 and it will almost never lose.

Gym Tactics

First, try using Kyamome or a Water/Grass starter. Then, try Water/Fire starter Grass at level 20 to 25. Finally, try Sandshrew with lots of Ground attack.If you chose Torchick as your first Pokemon, you will soon find out that the first Gym Leader will be difficult without the proper Pokemon. When you reach the first beach area (next to the forest entrance), try to catch a Wingull. Then while in the forest, spend some time to level it up and your Torchick. Get the Wingull to at least level 10, and the Combuskin to about level 16 to 18. You can now take out the three Geodudes the Leader has with the Wingull’s Water-Gun, and use the Combuskin as backup.

Clear Out Sale

After you become the champion of The Elite Four, go to Lilycove City. Enter the huge market on the roof. On certain days, there will be a Clear Out Sale with good items for a Secret Hideout.

Secret Base

To get a secert base you need secert powder.You can get secert powder on route 111 and after you get it you should be able to get it in slateport city.

Move On

Right after you you talk to profser birch at the beggining of the game you have to move on. You can’t battle over there. you have to go to the next city. You will have to evolve your pokemon. the pokemon gym leader has a very strong pokemon.

Master Ball

You can get the master ball in the lily cove department store or The team magma or aqua hideout. [After you leave the hideout you CAN NOT get the master ball.]

All The TMs And HMs Are!!!!:

These are all the tm’s and hm’s in these best games ever:

TM1: Focus Punch - Located on Route 115.TM2: Dragon CLaw - Located in the Meteor Falls.TM3: Water Pulse - Gift after beating Sootopolis Gym.TM4: Calm WInd - Gift after beating Mossdeep Gym.TM5: Roar - Located on Route 114.TM6: Toxic - Located in Firey Path.TM7: Hail - Located in Shoal Cave.TM8: Bulk Up - Gift after beating Dewford Gym.TM9: Bullet Seed - Located on Route 104.TM10: Hidden Power - Buy it for 3,000$ in Slateport/Fortree.TM11: Sunny Day - Located in Scorched Slab.TM12: Taunt - Located in Trick House. TM13: Ice Beam - Located in Mauville/Abandoned Ship or buy for 4,000 coins.TM14: Blizzard - LilyCove Store for 5,500$.TM15: Hyper Beam - LilyCove Store for 7,500$.TM16: Light Screen - LilyCove Store for 3,000$.TM17: Protect - LilyCove Store for 3,000$.TM18: Rain Dance - Located in Abandoned Ship.TM19: Giga Drain - Located on Route 123.TM20: Safeguard - LilyCove Store for 3,000$.TM21: Frustration - Located in Pacifidlog Town.TM22: Solarbeam - Located in Safari Zone. TM23: Iron Tail - Located in Meteor Falls.TM24: Thunderbolt - Buy it in Mauville for 4,000 coins.TM25: Thunder - LilyCove Store for 5,500$.TM26: Earthquake - Located in Seafloor Cavern.TM27: Return - Located in Fallarbor/Pacifidlog.TM28: Dig - Located on Route 114.TM29: Psychic - Mauville for 3,500 coins or on Victory Road.TM30: Shadowball - Located in Mt. Pyre.TM31: Brick Break - Located in Sootopolis.TM32: Double Team - Mauville for 1,500 coins. TM33: Reflect - LilyCove Store for 3,000$.TM34: Shock Wave - Gift after beating Mauville Gym.TM35: Flamethrower - Mauville for 4,000 coins.TM36: Sludge Bomb - Located in Dewford Town.TM37: Sandstorm - Located on Route 111.TM38: Fire Blast - LilyCove Store for 5,500$. TM39: Rock Tomb - Gift after beating Rustboro Gym.TM40: Aerial Ace - Gift after beating Fortree Gym.TM41: Torment - Located in Slateport City.TM42: Facade - Gift after beating Petalburg Gym.TM43: Secret Power - Located in Slateport for 3,000$ or on Route 111.TM44: Rest - Located in LilyCove City.TM45: Attract - Located in Verdanturf Town.TM46: Theif - Located in Slateport City.TM47: Steel Wing - Located in Granite Cave.TM48: Skill Swap - Located in Mt. Pyre.TM49: Snatch - Found on the S.S. Tidal.TM50: Overheat - Gift after beating Lavaridge Gym. HM01: Cut - Found in Rustboro City.HM02: Fly - Found on Route 119 after beating May/Brandon.HM03: Surf - Found in Petalburg City.HM04: Strength - Found in Rusturf Tunnel after smashing rocks.HM05: Flash - Found in Granite Cave.HM06: Rock Smash - Found in Mauville City.HM07: Waterfall - Found in Cave of Origin.HM08: Dive - Found in Mossdeep City.

This Helped me and it will you!!!

Catch Groudon

To catch Groudon, go to the cave of Origin in Sootopolis city. You can use a Masterball or weaken it and use an Ultra ball. It is at level 45.

Cheats

GameShark Mastercode

9839927F5FA20987C8AA34A74B0560A9F0C3.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Pokemon Ruby yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Eggs Galore

So you get an egg near the pokemon hotspring. Take 2 pokemon a boyand a girl and put them in the daycare go to another town then come back talk to the daycare lady then she will tell you to go to the daycare man he gives you an egg the go to another town then go back to the daycare then he will give you another egg. Keep doing that to get a whole box full of eggs.

Glitches

Ledge Climbing Glitch

Go to Mauville City. Go to route 118 ( on the right). There will be an aroma lady there next to a ledge. Go right beside the ledge so she can see you. Make sure the ledge is between you and her. Once she faces you, she will climb the ledge as if it was never there. It’s not really important, it’s just funny.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

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