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3ennyj · 8 years ago

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Randonneuring on a brakeless track bike.

I never knew what a randonneur is or does till about five months back. Heck I couldn’t even pronounce the damn name. A randonneur is a chap who rides long distances unsupported within a specified time frame, with distances starting at 200km unto 1200km. A seasoned randonneur would classify a 600km brevet as “difficult”, which usually entails two nights and a day of continuous riding, the idea being to complete the course within the 40 hours time frame. Me being the chap I usually am decided do a 600km brevet, my “first” brevet, on my everyday steed, a brakeless track bike in gods own country, Kerala, aptly called the Exotic Malabar Coast 600 BRM which runs from Cochin to Payyannur along the beautiful malabar coast of Kerala, known for a lot of amazing things, of which the one that really stood was the Biryani! To me Calicut was this place I’d always heard growing up, Thallaserry was a name of a restaurant in Bangalore, Mahe was Union Territory in Kerala that I read in my geography books and Payyannur was this quaint town up in the north of Kerala which I had only heard of since my friend was from there and that they we were famous for this crazy ritualistic dance called Theyyamm and that they love repeating letters in words there. In summary this is one gorgeous route to ride not to mention I rode an entire night in the rain, torrential thunderstorm type of rains. It’s monsoon season in this part of the land. That being said, this was going to be my only other long distance ride since my ride to Goa this New Years on the same track bike, difference being, the ride to Goa was a 600 kilometre trip spanning three days covering a little more than 200 kilometres each day with ample rest (in lodges) and an awesome ride partner and friend. While this time around, I was doing a solo, 600 kilometre trip (brevet) which was timed event with a time limit of 40 hours on an unknown route (though I am originally from Kerala).Unlike my Goa ride, I was using an easier gear ratio of 48x19, which meant that I’d have to spin more (more pedal rotations) as compared to the 48x18 to maintain a comparable average speed, based on my experience riding to Goa, I was hoping to benefit from this, I’d soon find out.

I never knew endurance riding is something I was going to get into, I mean I love riding bikes and I guess that’s the only pre requisite you need. You can basically do anything on a bike, be it commuting, racing, touring, tricks or just aimlessly riding. Riding a brevet is something else altogether, it needs a bit of preparation since you’re self supported and self sufficient, which means any sort of mechanical or biological failure, and well that’s the end of it! I had about three days to prepare for this as this was a last minute decision I made as with all my decisions. I borrowed lights, mud fenders, frame bag, saddle bag, and a drop bar from friends in Bangalore before I drove down to Kerala with my folks and my dog. Since my last training ride I did was way back in May, I decided to ride from my grandparents house in southern Kerala to Cochin which was a good 110kms, complete with hills, potholes, violent headwinds, cross winds, crazy traffic, mixed with city and highways and awesome flat sections. Training done! During the registration process the organisers and other folks there were quiet baffled when they learned this was my first brevet, more over the bike I was using had just one gear, a fixed gear and that it was brakeless, my beard length was probably secondary now. I checked into a motel nearby and had a sound nights sleep.

The first leg

Started with a final few checks to my bike with the mechanic at the LBS in cochin called The Bike Store which was also the start point for the Brevet. 4PM was departure time. Since the city routes were unknown to me, my new friends asked me to stick with the guys upfront, who planned to ride out fast and hard to beat the traffic, as checkpoint 1 and 2 were within the city itself. Ride hard and ride fast we did. I stuck to the wheel of the fastest kid on the block, this young lad who I feel has a very promising career in the Indian road cycling scene. We covered around 30 kilometres in an hour and 10 minutes in the thick of Cochin’s crazy traffic. The next checkpoint was a 100kms away at Ponnani, and so had begun the solo leg of my brevet. I rode close to 85% of my ride solo, the thing is you get to ride at your own pace which I feel is a very important requirement especially when you’re participating in an endurance sport which pushes you to your limits. My ride to Ponnani was a first of many sorts, it was the first time was riding in the night for such a long distance, fully loaded and it was also the first time I did an all nighter while it rained cats, dogs and fishes! It was definitely a night of firsts. I managed to reach Ponnani within four hours of leaving my last checkpoint, which was quiet frankly a decent pace as one of the volunteers admitted. I was amazed myself. I treated myself to a sumptuous dinner of boiled rice, dal and mixed veggies at a local restaurant near the check point. Since I was still high on energy I made this a quick dinner break, complete with an Instagram update and an excellent Kattan Kappi or black coffee.

Next stop was Calicut which was a mere 70 kilometres away. I planned to reach Calicut by midnight, but that wasn’t going to happen. Little did I know the road to Calicut was 70 kilometres of potholes, narrow streets and off the grid sort of navigation through little unknown towns and villages. To top it all the rains picked up pace and I was literally caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. So here’s the thing, I love the rains, I love riding in the rain, and I hate the day after which means, cleaning my bike. So riding in the rains wasn’t much of a problem. Riding a fixie in the rains is way more comfortable and I swear way more controllable compared to a free wheeling bike as you can feel the road and thus gauge the traction off the wheels. There were sections that were pitch black with no working street lights, and since these were borrowed lights I had them in a single mode which gave me lighting of sorts such that I didn’t misjudge the sides of the roads and jeer off into the slush that was accumulating with the continuous downpour. The last 20 kilometres to Calicut we were back on the paved NH17, which fortunately/unfortunately had poor lighting, smooth roads and lots of truckers. For a brakeless city rider this wasn’t intimidating but it sure was high. A good fucking high! I would do mental computations in my head calculating distances and average speeds to my final destination by reading the milestones and check the time on my G-Shock as I did not use a Garmin for this ride. I wanted to keep the ride as equipment free as possible. Little did I realise this actually worked, and helped me with my concentration. A biker pulled up next to me and started talking to me, the rains had subsided now and was only a minute drizzle, the types you feel when you spray a perfume or something. I picked up my pace hoping that he’d understand that I want to be left alone, but he stuck to my side and started asking me questions. He turned out to be a good chap, and we spoke for the next 10 kilometres up until I reached Calicut limits. The outcome was fantastic as I had upped my pace, averaging a good 30-35km/h, and the biker was astonished for the fact that I was managing to pull off a speed like that, he was even more amazed that I was doing this on a bike with just one gear for 600 kilometres. He asked me the value and I told him it was worth 15,000 bucks, all I had to do was divide the original value by 25! Nonetheless, with the rains back I was now entering Calicut city, I asked an auto wallah for directions and here I was at checkpoint four, beach side, four hours later and drenched to my mittens! I love the beach. It gives me immense energy, just what I needed. The volunteers did a fantastic job of organising home cooked meals they had veggie options thankfully which I devoured, they they also gave a lot of inputs regarding the route, road conditions up until the turnaround point which was now just 120 odd kilometres away. This was the fastest time i had taken to complete 190 kilometres, just under 10 hours, which was record of sorts for me. I ate, rested and chatted with a couple of other riders who had reached before me which gave me a total of 35 minutes off the bike. I did notice some of the riders were facing mechanical failures, snapped chains, slippery brakes, muck and sediment deposits on their derailleurs and of-course punctures. I had no so such issues, thankfully! Now energised I was on my way to checkpoint number five which was around 70 kilometres away at this place called Thallasery, known for its unique biryani, this route would take me via Vadakara and Mahe, as these were the waypoints I locked on to maintain my timing. It was around 0200 when I left Calicut and my objective was to reach Thallasery by 0400-0430 in the morning and reach the turnaround point by 0630-0700, thus giving me three hours of sleep by which I could hit the road by 1030. Such a wonderful plan I was thinking, except that it was still raining cats and dogs, it was pitch black with street lighting off and on, with truckers providing me three seconds of that glorious runway lights and that I was getting exhausted with every passing kilometre. I kept myself occupied with these mental math calculations to keep me focussed and awake. Believe me I suck at math, like I’m slow at calculating, and for the first time in my life, being slow to calculate actually helped! I was now going to pass Vadakara, and I remembered what the guys at Calicut told me, avoid the bypass and cut through the city. Cut through the city I did, it was like passing a ghost town, there wasn’t one soul on the street, no life absolutely. The road was like a roller coaster too, massive uphill climbs followed by rolling decents, this was just the start as the terrain was now changing from a moderately flat coastal route to hilly coastal route up until Payyannur. What I did notice entering Mahe was that being a Union Territory, the road which is also the NH17, it was littered with alcohol shops, I mean that one street would put Bangalore to shame! I breezed by Mahe just like every other town I was passing by, the rains had subsided by now, it was funny, as though the gods were joking around with us. I was now nearing my next check point of Thalleserry, and I was well past my initially calculated time of arriving there by 0400-0430. I finally did reach Thallasery by 0515. On arriving the volunteers were fast asleep inside their car which was this gorgeous sea facing hill. I woke them up, stocked up on chocolates, water and was back on the road within 20 minutes. I was now less than 60 kilometres away from the turnaround point at Payyannur. Back to mental maths again, usually on a ride to the outskirts, I’d average around 30km/h which means two hours to the turn around point, so I gave myself time until 0800 to reach which would still give me two hours of sleep as I wanted to get back on the road by 1030. I was satisfied with the way things were panning out. My next point of interest was Kannur or Cannanore, I think that’s the place St Francis landed in India and brought Christianity to the sub continent, I was passing by some historical places on this route, but all I cared was to reach Payyannur and take a nice warm shower and sleep! By now my left knee started to pain. I had this pain while riding to Goa as well. Little did I know that this pain on my knee was going to hit a new threshold. I guess the pain was bound to happen, I mean I’ve ridden 260kms with no chance of coasting, basically I earned every kilometre by rotating my crank 46,000 times until now. By the time I reached Kannur, the sun had risen and I was now seeing people on the road, it’s so refreshing when you see life on the streets. I was watching the TV show last man on earth and I kind of know what he meant by seeing life on the streets. I had to do something about my knee pain, with the pharmacies all closed I was on the look out for a hospital en route. I finally found a hospital on my way out of Kannur and hurried to the pharmacy to get myself one of those pain reliving sprays. I didn’t know that if you spray this on a sweaty body it burns like it would burn Count Dracula! After a few minutes of jumping around I was back on the bike and, now just wanting to reach the turn around point at Payyannur. The organisers and the volunteers had told us riders about a detour via the inner roads that would bring us right back on NH17 onto the turnaround point which was a hotel on the highway, which could help us by shaving of 3kms and save us the cruelty of the hilly sections up ahead, on the contrary I missed out the left turn which was long gone as I had now stumbled across another rider who told me the left turn was up ahead instead. I took my phone out and swung right into Google Maps exploring the options I had, there was a left turn ahead, but and it was through the insides which I wasn’t sure of, I took it nonetheless as I was saving a good 3kms to reach my destination. The next 45 minutes was one of the most toughest times of my life, with an aching knee, a busted ass, exhausted and 300kms into my ride, I was navigating through some crazy hills and potholed ridden roads. I was now looking for a store that had some vaseline, as my ass was now sore. I remember seeing a board that said six kilometres to Payyannur, my mental maths was now telling me that’s the distance to MG road from home, 20 minutes more and you’re there, finally I see the board I’ve been looking for, Green Park Hotel, 500 metres away! Man the happiness I felt! Once I was 50 metres I could see the volunteers waiting with smiling faces directing me to get into the hotel. I finally reached at 0805. One of the guys helped me find my way into the convention hall which the organisers turned into a makeshift sleeping space for the riders, complete with a mattress, cooling fans, pillows and a nice warm blanket. I found my way to the showers, cleaned up, got into a set of new clothes and jumped right into bed. I set my alarm to 1030, with a planned departure by 1045. And boy did I pass out! Never have I slept so well!

The return

1030 the alarm goes off, I did a few calculations again and decided to sleep for another 1 hour, yeah right! I finally crawled out of bed only by 1200 after much hesitation. The three and a half hours of sleep was much needed. I later sync’d up with another rider who is a legend of sorts in the randonneuring business, and we left the hotel together in search of a lunch spot to carb up for the return journey to cochin, another 313 kilometres. I had 19 hours and 30 minutes until cutoff. Easy, I thought. We found a restaurant near by and belted a veggie thali that costed a mere 70 bucks! As we got back on the road we bid adieu as I really needed vaseline for the arse. Lubed up I now continued on the regular NH17 route, not the one I’d taken earlier in the morning, which had the most horrendous roads and an utter waste of time. This section did have some serious climbs, but hey nothing like a “bit” of climbing to start the day with. I find myself pushing much harder on climbs than on flats for obvious reasons, you’re on a fixed gear bike, with no option to gear down, so the only option is to push your ass off the seat and climb that hill. I love that feeling, and once on top, the best part is descending. Since I was on a 48x19, I was spinning out on a few sections, and that’s when we fixie fuck boys do something called “hill bombing”, get your feet of the pedals and just let the bike fly down. Deceleration is controlled by smashing your shoes above the tyre and burning rubber and synthetic. The feeling is surreal! I did get a boat load of stares by passerby’s, a few of them were quiet amused at the sight of a bearded guy going mental on a bike that they were recording this sight. I wonder if there’s any way of sourcing those videos. 20 kilometres of rolling hills and descents did an amazing job of setting the tempo for the rest of the ride, my legs were now in jello mode. However the searing pain which had started to develop on my knees was still there, in-fact my right knee started to develop this pain as well now. I was in for a beating as I still had close to 280 kilometres until Cochin. I had noticed a kid on a MTB up ahead, but he didn’t look like he was a part of the brevet, as I couldn't see his bib number, nonetheless this kid decided to draft behind me, which got me thinking why would he do that. I mean I was on this fixed gear bike battling it out on the climbs and here’s this kid riding off my wheel, which in a way helped me, as I started pushing really hard. The poor chap must have clung of for a few minutes before he dropped back. I didn’t stop pushing though, I passed by four other riders before entering Kannur, I was making a good progress. My next checkpoint was back in Calicut which was now 90 kilometres away. I planned to pit stop at Thallasery which was around 25 kilometres away to grab some of their famous biryani and get some rest. While leaving Kannur I found a tender coconut seller, it’s funny that I didn’t see anybody else selling tender till now. The guy was kind enough to give me route advice and told me to take an alternative route bypassing the highway which went through two small towns instead which would give a 3km advantage basically. Apparently couple of other cyclist had passed by him earlier this morning and he’d given them the same advice. Being a Sunday, these small towns were empty, hardly any one in sight, which was good, as there was virtually no traffic. In an event like this, every kilometre shaved off adds so much additional time over the long run. I had plans of reaching Thallasery by 1500, the time was around 1400 already. I had to step up pace. It was only now that I was able to yonder at the beauty of the Malabar! Rolling hills along the coast of the Arabian sea dotted with coconut tress on both sides, the sounds of the ocean which was drowned out last night because of the incessant rains, I was now witnessing the beauty. In an endurance event like this, I feel one of the key requisites is that you appreciate the beauty of your surrounding around you, it adds a whole new dimension to your ride. Every time I peeked into the horizon, I would temporarily feel free, thoughts of the remaining 250 kilometres would disappear and the searing pain on my knees would suddenly feel painless. These were the moments that kept me going. I finally arrived at Thallasery at quarter past three.

I found a sea facing restaurant adjacent to the checkpoint I’d stopped last night, and ordered a veggie thallasery special. Took a few snaps of the bike facing the sea and I was back on the road within 20 minutes. It’s funny how fast a hungry, and tired human can gulp down a massive plate of biryani, even the waiters were looking at me in astonishment. I was now 70 kilometres away from Calicut. I planned to reach the checkpoint by 1800 effectively, but that for obvious reasons was not going to happen. By the time I reached Vadakara, my knees were literally felt they were going to pop open, I had to stop and get a painkiller, else this wasn’t going to work. The same quiet ghost town from last night was now bustling full of people. I found a pharmacy right next to the local government hospital and explained my situation to the pharmacist. He gave me four tabs and told me not to pop four within a days time, and that I should space the consumption of each tablet by a minimum of six hours. He also wished me luck and was thoroughly impressed with what I was doing. Within minutes of popping the first tab, I could feel a sense of relief. Once on the highway I noticed that traffic movement had slowed down. I mean the last thing you’d expect is a traffic jam on a single lane highway! Traffic jam it was. By the time I got myself out to the front, I had already lost 30 minutes of precious time, I couldn’t figure what caused the traffic jam, as there was no accident, I’m guessing however there must have been a VIP/minister going past one of those small towns out there. I was also quiet surprised that my bike was into shape, despite the muck on the chain from last nights downpour and the lack of lubrication, she was still moving, not as smooth though. No flats till now. I had well crossed 1800 and still no sign of Calicut, I pulled over next to a traffic cop and asked him how far was Calicut, his explanation was quiet simple, cross three bridges and take the right to head no to Calicut Beach Road. It’s always a love hate feeling when approaching a checkpoint, you’re happy for the fact that you’re so near, and you’re mad that despite being so near, you’re still not there yet, that sense of frustration keeps working against you and I swear that battle is worse than the physical battle. I usually get on to my drops and go full gas at moments like this, and that’s exactly what I did. I remember flying past these two riders who I’d later meet at the Calicut checkpoint and would end up riding with them until Ponnani. I finally did reach Calicut at 1900, one hour behind schedule. I had 13 hours and 173 kilometres to my destination and final checkpoint.

Sufferfest

The Urban Dictionary describes sufferfest as, “A workout or race in the arena of endurance sports that involves prolonged suffering on the part of all who participate”. I believe my sufferfest was only about to start now. In the next 20 kilometres to be precise. The two riders who I’d passed by and later met at the Calicut checkpoint were now riding partners, since they were local Calicut lads I decided to stick with them to guide me out of the city which is a disaster to ride in on a Sunday. We made a quick pitstop to carb up yet again at a local restaurant. By the time we left Calicut it was 2030, they were good company talking and telling me all about the routes and their experience so far on this brevet. They were mighty impressed with the fact that I was on a fixed gear bike, that too brakeless and were in disbelief when I told them this was my first brevet. The ride out from Calicut is quiet confusing, in-fact the previous night when I found myself self directing myself into Calicut, it all seemed so different now. It felt like a weird LSD trip in all honesty. I had no recollection of the number of turns, I had taken through the narrow winding roads that led to me to Calicut, all I remember was the road to Ponnani was atrocious and rigged with pot holes. I was ready for the challenge. Once we got onto the highway we bid adieu and I increased my pace as I was doing a moderate pace to keep with the guys guiding me out. Ponnani was now about 50 kilometres away. The thing about bad roads is when you’re riding a track bike which is built with the most stiffest aluminium composites and when you run 23c slick tyres, its asking for trouble. No trouble for the bike, but trouble for your bike. My back, my arse, my legs, my knees and my palms were at the receiving end of this torture. To top it all the rains were back and my front lights packed up too. My average speed dropped from a smooth 26km/h to less than 15km/h based on my awesome calculations I was doing. This felt like the longest 50 kilometres I had ever done my entire life, in-fact I didn’t really care if I reached Ponnani at all. All I wanted was good smooth roads. I cursed the Government of Kerala for the duration of my ride to Ponnani. I couldn’t understand how corrupt and useless they could be. I later learnt that the organisers had recce’d the route just two weeks prior and the roads were in perfect conditions. Within two weeks of the monsoons the roads were back to square one. Some sections were so bad that I was literally playing the game two dots. Finding the perfect link across a golf ball dimpled road. Believe me I’m not exaggerating on the road conditions. A lot of abuses were hurled. I finally reached Ponnani around 0100. It took me more than four hours to cover a distance less than 50 kilometres. I decided to stop over at the same restaurant I stopped over the previous night for food and a kattan kappi. To my surprise the two gents who escorted me out of Calicut also stopped by the same place. We were now 99 kilometres to completion. I entered the restaurant completely exhausted and left the place jumping with energy. My knees were clobbered by now. I popped my second painkiller. I offered a tab to one of the guys who passed the offer, while I later learnt he regretted doing so. The suffering and pain was getting real to be honest. The last 99 kilometres felt much like the opening stage of a trip on magic mushrooms. Everything felt different. I remember meeting the four riders who were ahead of me for the entire duration of the race, we teamed up and formed a pace-line. We must have been doing 33km/h for a good 20 kilometres, when I peeked back I realised I dropped the guys and was doing my own pace. It’s odd that in your last few kilometres, how the mind overcomes physical pain. The phrase “Shut up legs” makes absolute sense. In-fact it was more like shut up knees, shut up back and shut up arse! I finally reached the end of my ride at 0550 at The Bike Store, Cochin. I completed my first ever 600 brevet in 37 hours and 50 minutes on a brakeless track bike.

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