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sugar-petals · 5 years ago

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Treats For You (M)

↳ PAIRING: yuzuru hanyu × reader

↳ PLOT: You tend to a nervous Yuzu the night before a skating competition.

↳ WORD COUNT: 9k | one shot | domestic au, smut

↳ WARNINGS ⚠️ pwp, dom/sub, feeding yuzu treats, pegging, some very wet oral (m giving), cum play, oh lord it gets graphic, fingering, crying, mommy kink, yuzu’s crazy back arch, rough sex, masochism, aftercare, some asthma talk

↳ CARO’S NOTE: inspired by this juicy gif. PS: since i usually post for other fandoms — if you’re unfamiliar with yuzu, visit this intro post.

Just two minutes after you switch off the light, he starts fidgeting.

Repeatedly, all while messing around with his pillow. Soon enough, the blanket you share becomes all disheveled.

You turn your head towards the window to check. All as usual. The blinds are perfectly drawn to shut out the moonlight. Meanwhile, the humidifier infuses the air in gentle ten-minute intervals. Not even the heater is bumbling tonight. Yuzuru keeps on rustling beside you, still. Some of his plushies fall off the bed, one after the other.

Of course he can’t sleep. It’s daunting, no precaution ever helps. The blanket couldn’t be any more crumpled up at this point.

„I’m so nervous,“ he finally sits up another minute later, causing the duvet to lift. A little sigh follows.

Eventually, you turn in the sheets yourself, now facing him. Or rather, what you can vaguely make out as his crouching silhouette.

„Hey,“ you mumble from your left side of the bed. „You watched all of the performances from last month.“ You pat Yuzu’s pillow, hoping he would sink down on it again. „At least twice. Or more.“

God knows for how many hours he stretched in front of the TV on his spongy blue yoga mat, reviewing mountains of footage with a furrowed brow worthy of a restaurant critic.

Every jump and every turn, analyzed over and over. Down to the millimeter. Even the costume got its fair share of scorn. Too wide there, this detail on the collar could be different, that part gets in the way while doing spins.

„It’s all— I don’t know what I’m lacking these days.“

The silhouette doesn’t look like it’s headed to lie down again for the time being. You reach toward your bedstand’s squiggly designer lamp. After fumbling about in the dark, you find the bulky switch at its bottom. On goes the light again. Perhaps a bit too bright, both of you squint hard.

„It’s not like you’re dropping to second place anytime soon.“

Given how you thought you could call it a day before Yuzu started to fidget, maybe your voice is not fully resonant yet. It still carries a little unspoken ‚…right?‘ with it.

As soon as you finish the sentence, you feel how he can pick up on it already. The humidifier dryly comments by puffing out a cloud of lavender steam.

„I don’t really know,“ Yuzu retorts twisting, going into a deep shrug. He is completely sunken now.

„Looks like a simple big hug won’t do, hm.“

Yuzuru ends up nodding. It’s more knowing than admitting. But you don’t like the sense of resignation that comes with it, at all. The problem goes a little deeper than just motivating him with the stats he ironically already knows, times better than you, even.

It’s been going on for the entire day. The last time he made such a grouchy face at his videos was around Christmas. Back then, he couldn’t quite get the jumps right at the start of his routine. But now? His scores are just fine. Not to mention the jumps.

„I didn’t think you were lacking,“ you say. „You just fell once during training.“

And that was because he was fooling around during a break, not in the serious exercises.

„Sorry for bothering you,“ he buries his face in the blanket, beginning to ruffle his hair all over the place. Frustrated Friday-evening-Yuzu always does that, but the energy doesn’t seem to go anywhere this time.

The murmur of his stomach isn’t hard to miss either. You lay your hand on Yuzu’s back.

„Is it because you didn’t eat?“

You wonder what he had for dinner.

Only more guilty stomach growling reaches you as a reply. Figures: He skipped it, and lunch, too. His breakfast was so frugal, you don’t even remember whether he had his milk or not.

Yuzu was already pacing around in the living room at that point. Recalling the tricky parts of the upcoming choreography, treading his feet into the carpet, humming the steady rhythm of his skating program.

„Maybe I’m turning into a snickers diva,“ a muffled little comment emerges from where his chaotic hair sticks out from the duvet. At this point, his face is all buried there.

„I mean. If you allow me to baby you…“

Three minutes later. You rub your eyes, shift from leg to leg. The kitchen floor is as cold as ever so you regret not putting on socks. Meanwhile, there’s no problem raiding the fridge.

You could go to the grocery store five times a day and buy everything Yuzu’s mouth waters over — it’d still be stacked to the top. Snacks, veggies, particular sports drinks in weird blue colors, Japanese pickled plums, gyoza left-overs, salad, various fizzy drinks, mostly lemonade.

It’s like that with any food. Out of sight, out of mind. He won’t bother getting up from the yoga mat if he’s fixated on the TV.

After making two distinct picks and checking whether the fridge door closes properly, then bustling at the sink with a towel, you trot back to the bedroom. Equipped. In the meantime, Yuzu has recollected his plushies from the floor, gently aligning them next to his pillow.

They’re all in their strictly defined place again. You enter just the second after he’s arranged them in the usual half-circle order, centered around his favorite, all-time friendly-eyed Winnie Pooh bear.

„Will you look at that,“ you plant your little kitchen conquests onto the bed, rousing approval noises from Yuzuru who sparkles right at the box and plate you brought along. The grouchy face dissolves, curiosity takes its place. His food reactions will always be the cutest to you.

„Strawberries!“

„From the market. Wasn’t too expensive.“

Freshly doused in the sink, plump and very ripe.

„And rice cakes!“

Truth be told, there couldn’t be a bigger comfort food on his list and you shamelessly exploit the very fact.

„Every competition has a victory meal. Here, fruits first.“

After plopping down on the mattress yourself, you pick up one, then two strawberries. Immediately, Yuzu’s little upturned mouth opens wide as if a tiger baby was yawning.

He chews more eagerly than you thought. If you pass him pretzel sticks while he reviews things on the TV, he barely eats one or two of them.

„I like these,“ he swallows, prying for the next fruit in your hand already. „Sweet!“

„Tastes best with cake,“ you rearrange your sitting position, making sure to park your cold feet next to Yuzuru’s very warm ones. His toes are readily brushing against yours, Yuzuru perhaps not even noticing they do. He’s too fixated on the little cakes. In all things he does— focus incarnate. He can’t help it.

„Yes, I wanna try!“

You rummage in the packaging you brought along, draw forth a first treat. A second one you set aside on the plate. Tiger baby opens his mouth even wider, in goes the first chunk of the rich delicacy. Lord have mercy on his stomach, it’s 11:15 PM. But what’s normal to him, anyways.

Ten more minutes pass. After the strawberry box is two thirds empty and three juicy rice cakes have embarked on their last journey, Yuzu looks a lot more content than before, even if his bedhead arguably makes him look like a mad scientist. Junior professor Yuzuru Hanyu, escapee from his genius lab that exploded in a blaze of smoke.

You take it as your task to brush the outlaw strands back into their place with your fingers after pulling out a wet wipe — those with the way too astringent citrus flavor— from your bedstand, cleaning your hands off the rice. It’s not like your hands aren’t sticky on the regular.

To your satisfaction, Yuzu looks like a swaying cat, nestled into his blanket. With no more stomach growling audible, gladly. You put the plate on the bedside table, lean forward to kiss his belly, and shoot him a fracture of an ambiguous gaze.

„So… Fancy getting even more stuffed?“

„Sure! Is it a surprise?“ Yuzu looks around, presumably searching for more food you brought along.

The pure soul.

„Well, we already had dessert.“

„Oh, right! But, what’s the food, then?“

A little pause follows. Yuzuru couldn’t look any more thrilled. You decide to go with it.

„You’re too innocent,“ you lower down your pants by an inch, thumbs demonstratively hooked into the hem. You raise your eyebrows into a question that he cannot miss. „If you want. You might wanna grab your spray first, though.“

Only the last part fully registers in Yuzuru’s expression that finally goes from curious to… sheepish. He caught on.

Asthma spray at 11:30 PM is a cue he’s gotten familiar with over the last four months. Not in a million years did he think he’d ever have to use it late at night. Whatever decision process is rattling through Yuzu’s brain right now, it’s a fast one, though.

„Ha— okay!“

„Alright, Yuzu.“

„Just once second!“

Food round number two, it is. You kick off your pants and underwear but make sure they don’t land any place where plushies are. Yuzu is already busy at the other end of the room, visibly at work with shaky hands, browsing the cupboard with meds next to the window.

Now that he’s double nervous, you curse your idea, but remind yourself of the last late-evening time Yuzu had his head between your legs. ‚I dunno, I was just concentrated‘ are the words that stuck with you after asking him how on earth he kept his breath for what felt like 45 seconds.

Whatever masochist devil has been driving him, it gave your boyfriend skills you never even knew were possible to have out of absolute nowhere. Not to mention how easily it distracted him from anything else in the world.

Maybe that focus is an effect easy to replicate, you think. Anything that can take his mind off the competition tomorrow is worth trying.

Carefully, you move over to the right side of the bed. Then, recline on Yuzu’s pillow — on his explicit wish two months ago, you meticulously keep that tradition — and feel surrounded by plushies already.

Back then, Yuzu insisted that he shouldn’t be the only one watching out for you when you’re having sex. And that the pillow just smells really good of your hair afterwards. So there you lay, feeling all kinds of horny. Given that Yuzu is already returning to the bed, swiping his hair off his forehead. Looking very refreshed, letting his breath play. Sexy.

And there it goes already. The I dunno, I was just concentrated gaze. You arrange your legs wide enough for Yuzu to settle in the middle, him still sitting upright. His hands are still shaky when they reach around your outer thigh, but his eyes don’t lie to you in the very least.

„Your breath alright?“

A little nod, but he doesn’t heed the question for any longer. There’s gladly nothing that his lung doctor can’t figure out. You count on that, but asking doesn’t hurt.

Meanwhile, Yuzu’s eager eyes are already drawn downwards. Getting bigger and bigger. The surprise he had anticipated in fact now dances over his face, flighty and polite, but nonetheless apparent to you. He’s smiling, and it looks shy in the light of the bedstand lamp.

„I, ah…“

It’s as if he hasn’t seen you naked before, every time. For whatever reason, Yuzu always reverts to virgin mode with his first glance. You admit it’s flattering and amusing alike, but also — leaves you with Hitchcock level suspense.

Yuzuru has proven himself to be an expert in summoning a beginner’s zeal, an almost childlikeness. That keeps you on your toes and promises an intensity that routine and pragmatic energy management could never give you.

After letting his eyes linger a little more, his lips become visibly impatient. He’s already licking them. You’d promised food, and he takes it seriously. That Yuzu’s fingers stroke rather weirdly at your thighs does not escape your attention either. They’re practicing.

„Help yourself, touch.“

The stroking ceases. Yuzu doesn’t hesitate to reach down with his left. How he touches you sends a row of tingles down your legs. His fingertips are amazingly dainty and soft. He explores. Then, soon keeps on caressing about, leans his head forward, all still from his seated position. It doesn’t take too long until he goes straight to getting you off with his right hand.

„This is, wow,“ he mumbles to himself, already immersed in rubbing your clit. Going in circles, taking his time. Alternating between index and thumb.

„Yeah. That’s the spot,“ you shift in the pillow, eventually finding a good position to relax. You exhale, focus on his hand.

„So smooth,“ Yuzu traces his joining left hand up and down your labia.

„Maybe someone wants a taste?“

You were right that he would forget practically anything else. The yoga mat worry brow is blown off his face. Substituted by— appetite.

„Not just maybe, actually.“

Spreading your legs a little more is invitation enough to have Yuzuru lower his head onto your pubic bone, tongue already searching for its favorite place. Your fingers gently interlace in his hair as soon as he starts sucking. Keeping his bangs out of his eyes.

How unafraid to bury his face he is you soon get to witness. You can feel the bridge of his nose glide from lip to lip, and the feathery light brush of his lashes at the base of your inner thighs.

Yuzu’s tongue has always been cheeky, but today, it feels particularly adventurous and slippery. He can’t help but fumble about with his hands simultaneously. Beginner’s zeal, you knew it’d come.

The bucking of your hips comes too naturally to be controlled. Nor does Yuzuru know just how to hold his head back from thrusting. This little shit. Whatever is in those rice cakes, it made him a new level of keen. Soon enough, his tongue has riled you up plenty, and his focused eyes have become entirely monotone. Only preoccupied with one thing and one thing alone.

Just how much he dedicates his attention has to be a thing for the books. You feel like blowing up and moaning like crazy at this point, but manage to at least puff out. He knows you’re way too close. There’s a little smile you feel in the way he eats you.

„So that mouth gets a cum filling,“ you twist your fingers out of Yuzu’s wild hair. It’s all tangled again. The return of the mad professor. He has all the space in the world to bop his head as much as he wants now. One, two, three plushies fall over and tumble around the mattress. He doesn’t notice.

The warmth between your legs has been growing ceaselessly. Now, ready to brim. With Yuzu’s agile tongue slipping back and forth over your clit in erratic intervals, you feel like losing your mind with every lick. The way his lips excite you gives off the lewdest sucking noises. All wet, and resolute like a chess player not to drop you off that high.

He keeps his laps consistent, leans in more, and eventually— tips you off the edge with a fast sequence of letting his tongue dip under the hood of your clit. And letting it stay there, all until your legs start twitching. You groan out.

Yuzu gets a big. Fat. Cum filling indeed.

Your breath goes short, you grab his shoulders. Growling, cursing. Trying to ride the wave, but the contractions catch you harder than you thought. You can practically feel how much you ooze out and ruin his face.

Bratty he is, Yuzuru forms his mouth all kissy and pecks your clit through every throb. Until the shockwaves subside, letting your shaking thighs off the hook eventually.

Too fucking intense. The surge of pleasure keeps on making your mind hazy long after your orgasm is over. To add fuel to the fire, Yuzuru rubs his belly, as if he just had two happy meals for the price of one.

Pulling off, his face is all bright and slobbery in its remaining smile. His lips are cum-glazed, and more than just plain sweat trickles down his nose. Nothing better than a facial right in front of twenty plushies. Who knew Winnie the Pooh himself would ever be eye witness to Yuzu’s sporty head game.

Friendly bear he is, it doesn’t seem to bother him. From unsuspecting comfort teddy on Yuzu’s lap 23/7 to live-action porn audience. First row, no popcorn though, but HD sound quality and claims to free spit. The guy is living his absolute best life, isn’t he.

„You… growling. That was pretty hot,“ Yuzuru says. His jaw is hanging all loose and most of his speech is slurred. Yuzu looks all satiated. In your mind, you pat yourself on your own shoulder. Boyfriend corruption: almost complete.

„Like being spoiled? I want you to clean that up.“

Yuzu squeaks out giddy in reply. A moment later, he goes back to lean down again, swallowing and licking up cum from your drenched, swollen lips. His slurping noises are indulgent, wet, and desperately slutty. He succeeds in cleaning you up, but keeps on messing up himself even more. Yuzuru delights in rubbing his whole face into your dripping pussy until his eyebrows are sticky, his lids and cheeks are damp, and you feel capable to get up from the pillow.

Despite not being underneath the blanket, you notice that your feet aren’t that cold anymore.

He sits on the bed like a mermaid, huddled close to you. Normally, he would visibly sort his thoughts like that, but now, all he does is blink and nuzzle up against you with his forehead.

Settling, Yuzuru doesn’t seem to know where to put his hands and you take it as a chance to pepper them with kisses. The back of the hand, the palms, the wrists. It calms you, and it calms him.

You feel entirely drenched, refreshed and relaxed at once. How Yuzuru cuddles against your legs makes your heart warm, and the moment is blissful.

One lavender steam cloud later, you feel like moving again. Maybe there are two restless people in this relationship. The thought of it is funny.

„We could go on a little more,“ eventually, you pat his head. „With something different if you want.“

„Do you still have energy?“ he asks. His breath is somewhat slowing already. It feels hot against your leg.

„More than before, actually.“

He sits up. Looks like you surprised him again. Little does Yuzu know how much he shakes you up.

„Really?“

You nod, twirling at his bangs now.

„I have an idea. So… you remember what’s been waiting in a box for a month.“

You can tell he knows exactly what you mean. No doubt he didn’t take very long to recall it, either. That tells you something.

„Can we use it?“

That answer was fast.

„It’s what I’ve been thinking.“

„We’ve been putting this off but I’m still curious.“

And your guess was correct. It’s definitely been on his mind.

„Yeah, you’re right.“

Promptly, you direct your eyes to the bedroom cupboard to your far left. The one containing various kinds of skating blades in slender packagings, tracksuits in dark colors, fan presents, and mail orders. Among them, a larger jet black box—

That neither Yuzu nor you dared to open given it was a product of a reckless button click at 2 PM.

Admittedly, after Yuzu passed you a way too expensive bottle of sake that he got for his birthday. Since he’s allergic to alcohol, somebody thought she could give it a sure try instead. Pouring $200 into the sink would have been the better option.

Said black box soon sits between the two of you, wide open to reveal the truth of what sake can do.

„Oh man. What have I done.“

That button click comes back to bite you big time.

„This looks, I think, realistic—?“

At least on the surface.

Of course, you drunk fool had to order the ‚sculpted, real-life imitation‘ version. You couldn’t be any more embarrassed. No more alcohol in this flat, that’s for sure. What else to do but take it in stride now that the box is already open, though.

„I uh, think so. At least with the veins.“

„It’s… it is really big.“

At least three times Yuzu’s flaccid size if you don’t hallucinate right now.

„I don’t know how I’m not gonna tear you apart. How many inches are these, 12? My drunk self is too ambitious.“

Maybe you shouldn’t have used that word and said ‚reckless‘ instead. Because ambition surely and habitually triggers a prancing and posing Shia LaBeouf shouting ‚do it!‘ in Yuzuru’s athlete brain. You can see it in his eyes and already regret thinking out loud.

„We can still try.“

„If that’s a good idea or not we will probably see,“ you begin to inspect the contents one by one up close. „I think I bought a weapon.“

„Now I know why they call guns a strap,“ Yuzuru equally peaks over the edge of the box, looking like his future just flashed before his eyes.

„Next time I pass the sake to your coaches or something,“ you end up pulling out the red harness kit that glaringly lays on top of the contents. All looking very adjustable indeed. „That’s what my midnight fantasy seems to look like.“

„Uh—huh!“

Yuzu snakes his hand into the box himself now. Pulling out a transparent, orange-pink 13 oz bottle with a bubbly-looking fluid inside. Gaudy stuff, but a generous amount.

„Mister Lube. My new best friend,“ he says, laying the bottle aside and then pulling off his black PJ shirt. Although he strips quite leisurely, you can tell that Yuzuru is a little tense in his torso. That you will attend to in a minute, you think. But beforehand, you let your eyes roam for something else.

„They probably have something to clean it with in there as well. Let me see.“

You find that even if you might have ordered all this pretty tipsy, the toy set does have its quality. Just before you want to ask Yuzuru to warm up, he visibly ponders, then cleans his pajamas off the bed to make space for a little area.

„If you don’t mind, I stretch my muscles,“ Yuzuru puts aside a couple of plushies, too, but keeps Pooh close, assuming his typical pre-training stances.

He knows himself. That’s good.

„Tell me if you need help for the thigh stretching.“

In the meantime, you ease into the red kit and arrange the box contents on the bed. There seem to be fifteen things going on at once. If this would be public in the slightest, you believe the two of you must look like a bunch of eccentrics to anybody who’d watch you.

Ten minutes later, Yuzuru might just be in Olympic shape, has downed almost half a liter of spring water in one go. You know that he could probably deliver a quintuple jump on the spot if he wanted. The strap-on is all assembled, clean, and you have stored away the practically empty box of sake sinnery.

„I’ll skate cross-eyed and cross-legged tomorrow,“ Yuzu stares right at your crotch, face buried in his palms. Only his eyes peek through the fingers. „Godspeed to my ass.“

You sure as hell won’t disagree. This strap is a threat.

„I don’t know why I had to order supersize out of all possible things. You need a prayer circle after this. Where’s Mister Lube?“

„Here, over here,“ Yuzuru passes over the bottle, shaking it.

„I’ll relax you as good as I can, okay. Before I get arrested for possession of weapons without a license.“

And annihilating Yuzu’s insides with that XXL dick that he sure as hell doesn’t just want halfway in. Lord have mercy. You can only shake your head at yourself for buying this.

„Honestly though. Does it really fit in?“

Yuzu leans his face toward your hip, now on all fours, taking the sight in. He still can’t believe his eyes.

„We’ll see. Let your body decide, not your pride okay,“ you poke the tip of the strap-on into his left cheek. Hoping that it takes away some of the tension, at least. „And you can still tap the mattress.“

„Okay. Tap the mattress.“

He nods quite avidly. Same protocol as always. No spoken safewords, only something that Yuzu can make use of with his reflexes. Speech? Nothing you can both count on as soon as horniness kicks in.

You tried that for the first two weeks and quickly settled for tapping instead. Especially because Yuzu likes to have fingers in his mouth every so often.

„I mean. You just did like five splits, didn’t you. Warm-ups always help. If your ankle doesn’t fall off?“

That mini workout was more than just impressive, in fact. And still, you eye Yuzuru’s notoriously injured foot. The slim little fella has a long history of recovery behind him.

„The ankle is decent, the usual stuff.“

„I wish we had a smaller toy to start out with,“ you scratch your head. That might be the one thing that’s been missing from the box. „We still have Mister Lube, anyway. Watch this,“ you pick up the orange bottle, flipping the cap open. „It’s actually scented! Worth ruining the bed if you ask me.“

On goes the fluid, you rub it all across the length of the dildo. Must be cherry flavor or something. Yuzuru sure makes big eyes.

„I knew I could count on Mister Lube.“

„Yeah, we use lots. And I’ll be very gentle.“

The cherry scent is gladly much less tacky than the bottle itself, not too artificial-smelling either. You squeeze out a second load and distribute it over the strap-on just to be sure. Yuzuru’s breath goes faster.

„Can I ask something beforehand?“

„Go right ahead.“

„I wanna suck first if you…“

Who knew. The lube probably made his mouth water.

Being honest, you think that it might be a good idea to get this going. Better than blowing his pretty back out right away and making a mistake, even if he is much less tense now.

„I don’t mind, Yuzu. You already have some chapstick on, right? Here.“

You level your hips to line up with his mouth more easily. You can tell that Yuzuru, after some heavy blinking, eventually braces himself. There’s nothing more telling than his tunnel vision plastered all over his face. His eyes, lids heavy, are hypnotized and seem darker. Yuzu’s bedroom gaze is the best in the world.

„Okay, I’ll start.“

A first kittenish lick. A second. A third. Then, brave lips — enclosing the tip. He audibly nips and swallows.

A few more licks, and repeat. Mister Lube seems to taste pretty good. You bless the shady company that manufactures the black box of sin for once.

You let Yuzu explore, pump his hand around the shaft, lick from all directions he fancies. Compared to his wrist, the dildo doesn’t really fall short in diameter, but with Yuzu’s face up close you are relieved it’s not a complete David versus Goliath match.

Soon enough, he musters the courage to open his mouth a little wider, cramming a bit more in than just the tip. You can’t deny you’re getting turned on again with the way he slurps and hums around your dick. With the minutes, he becomes bolder, moving his head.

Even if the lube gathers at his chin and seeps down to the bed, he keeps on sucking, now with a first pearl of sweat lingering on his forehead already. You’d never think it’d make him break a sweat. To be fair, he just did fifty jumping jacks in the warm-up.

„Want me to move?“

Two nods. You glide in, let your hips do the work how they want to. You don’t trust your online shopping choices, but your tempo, at least. Yuzuru is making all choked up noises trying to gobble up all the girth he gets, his fingers entangled in your harness. It keeps him in a steady place.

You can work from that, angle a few superficial thrusts into his mouth to get the saliva flowing. The blotch on your bed is already pretty nasty. The slow pace is apt enough to fill Yuzu’s mouth with spit bubbles that begin to foam out bit by bit.

After two more minutes of light back and forth, Yuzuru pulls off to speak.

„Please do it stronger. I don’t mind being hoarse.“

Not a second later, all he does is slurp up a very dripping shaft again. With difficulty jamming it in past the first few inches, but determined, anyway. You didn’t expect anything else.

Yuzu’s lips and eyes are all glossy by now. The portion of lube-infused spit has accumulated at his jaw already, soon to travel down to his throat.

Stronger, he says. Why not.

„Okay, get ready.“

„M—hm!“

An abrasive jab follows a shallow one. If it wasn’t for the lube, your dick would scrape right down his upper throat. But this way, the first dip goes in with sufficient slip and slide, not leaving Yuzu with too much dick in his neck for long. All your strap-on does is bounce right back.

What you do hear is Yuzu’s gag reflex… claiming its rights. Still understated, but nevertheless there. After three more thrusts, you decide to stay about halfway balls deep, watching Yuzuru squirm, even try to shove in about an inch more by pressing his head forward. His breath is clean and deep through his nose. You put a checkmark on the my-boyfriend-has-asthma list in your mind.

„You look good with a dick in your mouth.“

What is supposedly a ‚thanks‘ ends up as gargling and choking. Yuzuru starts getting wet eyes at this point. Even a little bow of his head is something that doesn’t slip past your attention. Mannered guy, isn’t he.

That praise makes him do the horniest noises is also something that you make a memo of. Along with seeing how it’s rendering him all aroused. You’ve seen those neck veins and red chin spots come out plenty of times to know.

A couple more thrusts are not a bad option, you decide. Although it seems that Yuzuru had the idea to hollow out his cheeks that very moment. The vacuum first makes your cock plunge in a little too fast than intended, then naturally pulls Yuzu’s head forward once you move your hips back again.

It’s why the second thrust catches him off guard, flattening his lips and making your dick slide into his throat with air going in. Yuzu ends up choking hopelessly. It doesn’t look like he’s retreating his head in the very least, however.

Instead, you feel his hands grab at your either hip to secure himself in place. A glance from above, slightly angled sideward, shows you just how hard and throbbing Yuzu’s own dick is, tipping against his stomach.

Once again, you make an impressed-my-dear face that he doesn’t overlook. His cheeks go hollow again and he keeps up the indulgent speed. Increasingly getting rougher and more pain-craving. Messier. Desperate.

Yuzu opens his mouth wider not to have his teeth get in the way. It’s serious business now. His throat makes the most disgusting, grunting noises. Oh. Shit. Yuzu’s greed and sloppy lips make your body burn up. Soreness is the very least he’s headed for.

„Wow, Yuzu. Wow.“

It’s not something you didn’t know already. This man is without a singular doubt a lunatic. You whisper more praises to him, your hands grabbing hold of his head to sustain the movement rhythmically.

Yuzu’s gag reflex has proven to only rebel every other thrust so you can pound away, at that time already giving up even the mattress that must be sopping wet to its core with Yuzuru drooling all over it. Too late for a towel altogether but fuck it.

Yuzu takes the choking well. He’s leaking spit all over, surrenders to your hands. Even if he doesn’t manage to deepthroat the entire length of the dick, he manages an awful lot of inches. By now, he’s gotten the hang of not letting too much air in. All while relaxing his muscles.

Beautiful hums, chokes, little whines. Too bad your phone isn’t close by. Recording this has to be your very next bucket list entry. You’re glad he asked about this.

You go on thrusting for a few more times until you feel your hips going tired. Once his nose starts getting all runny, you naturally slow down even more. Eventually, you help Yuzuru pull his head off. His lips are all puffy.

„B—woah,“ it’s all he can moan and splurt out, and you help him wipe the glob of saliva and snot from his chin with your sleeve.

Your pajama shirt might be ruined, but not as much as Yuzu’s tonsils. Who knows just how many times you were deep and fast enough to make them throb from all that friction. Seven, eight times? His food for tomorrow can be a light soup at best. Not even you were as sore after riding and sucking every last drop out of his dick last Monday.

You’re glad he has the rice cakes going through his system right now. Poor onlooker Winnie the Pooh is probably traumatized by now. There’s only so much crazy dicksucking a bear can handle watching. And still, he gazes at the two of you— in good spirits as ever, cheeks big and bright. In a way, he looks like Yuzu in this very moment.

„How you like it?,“ you softly caress his pinkish lips. „I need to know how many stars to leave on the website.“

It takes a few moments until he can form words again. His speech is fast. He’s still staring at the dildo.

„It was in so deep and, and on my tongue. The dick veins, I could feel them. They were like, like, it was massaging my lips. And I almost thought I could swallow it.“

You raise your brows. Lord knows how deep your cock was inside his brain, but he still picks these things up.

„Attention to detail. Nice.“

Maybe 4.5 stars are a fair deal. At least for throat fucking. The rest — remains to be seen.

„Did I do well?“

His eyes widen. The question is genuine. It’s not something you’d think he would ask. Whenever he trained, he would always rely on his own judgment.

„Ask yourself first, you were the one feeling it.“

That’s not the answer he expected, and he ends up getting red cheeks.

„I liked it,“ he stammers. „Was really hot.“

„It’s what I saw, too. Good job, babe.“

He’s blushing even more now.

„Ah— I think I tried my best.“

You smile and cup his slobbery face. So you’ve taken his throat virginity in the most spit-heavy way possible. He looks cuter than ever.

„Listen. You’re a champ. If I could, I would cum deep inside of you.“

„I think, that would be romantic,“ his wet lips break into an upbeat smile. Yuzu’s eyes get all crinkly.

„You bet.“

A big doting kiss for Yuzu’s forehead is the only thing your brain can conjure up at this point, so you briefly lean down to do it. Maybe Shia LaBeouf is not just exclusively at home in Yuzu’s imagination.

What you have to admit is that Yuzu’s overflowing athlete’s spirit has easily taken over your hips. You didn’t think you could move properly for that long. Maybe you still have some energy reservoirs left.

„And, and now?“

„I can stuff you with more dick. Up to you. Mister Lube didn’t run out yet. And if Pooh still likes watching.“

By instinct, Yuzuru’s hands snake behind his back to grip his ass, stroking what he knows is your delightful next target. You can tell by his eyes that there are a thousand scenarios going through his head.

„Pooh likes this… very much. He’s never seen something like that before. I think he is curious.“

It doesn’t take a Sherlock’s mind for you to know that he means— himself.

„I mean. I was surprised. If that monster fits into your little throat,“ you add, „anything is possible.“

That’s the final straw.

„I’ll do it,“ he says, moments later on all fours, face lowered and then rested sidewards on the bed, spreading his ass cheeks. Decision making when it comes to strap stuff is Yuzu’s forte, you jot that down in your invisible sex life journal. Not one bit of hesitation. By the looks of it, a very twitching entrance is waiting for you.

Testing period is over.

„Alright. I got something to drive home.“

Now that you think of it. If his ass is already only half as naughty as his mouth, you’ll need the help of a higher power.

„Shit. I think, it relaxes.“

At the expense of your mattress and blanket getting even more greasy with lube, you ease in the tip after massaging it into his sphincter. Yuzu’s ass still has to deal with that new sensation given how his leg muscles are going all bonkers. But indeed he’s grown receptive.

„Comfy like that?“

„B—big…“

„Attention, just a little tweak before I go on. Here.“

You softly press down on his spine with your palm entirely flat, and his back obliges immediately. His arch is leaving you breathless.

Yuzu’s head and chest are snug and soft against the bed while his ass is far, far up. He smiles seeing you venerate his back, he didn’t miss your reaction in the least. No surprise a third of your cock gets sucked into his ass just moments later. It caught you off guard.

Judging by Yuzu’s little yelp and his eyes rolling back, the way you went right into him has found pleasure. The bedposts creak a little because Yuzuru’s legs are shivering. As is his voice.

„I love it, I lo-, please, my, my ass!“

„Can I move?“

„Yes, please!“

The arch did the trick. You love your boyfriend. What follows is a slowly plunging series of rewards, ten, eleven times, pulling at his gripping asshole until it surrenders into going loose. Yuzuru has almost accommodated a third of the length you’re engraving into his ass. You’ll definitely keep using that brand of lube.

„Here, babe. I got a present for your prostate.“

Yuzu is making your favorite lawless face when you hit the spot, controlling the base of the dildo with two your fingers going around it like a cock ring. He looks as if someone just handed him a trophy too big to carry. From his perineum, a thread of lube comes dripping down with a squelching noise. The poor sheets. It’s another virginity taken.

In the meantime, Yuzu grabs hold of the duvet with unsteady hands. His entire torso is nothing but a shaky mess. So erratic. And sweaty. And docile. And beautiful. You want to award him plenty, your little present from above, the jittery boy underneath you.

Pounding away and making him grit his teeth is worth heading for a mean cramp, you don’t care. Watching how your cock is plowing in and out of him at jerky angles with the absolute lewdest, bubbling noises recompensates for anything.

Yuzu’s rolling eyes have become spaced out and teary, making him look like a crying saint about to enter the golden gates of heaven. Who knew angels had black hair.

With every stroke, his ass becomes every bit accepting to the point of almost glaring open to let you thrust in. Thank God. You compliment yourself on not falling short of the arguably lofty promise to relax him. Moaning Yuzu’s little ass is swallowing it all.

By the time, his rectum is going hollow and sticky, welcoming every move of yours by giving you ample right of passage. During some thrusts, you don’t even see his sphincter hold on to the dildo at all. His ass is almost as dilated as his loose mouth itself. Your thrusts are working on their own again at this point. What instinct is propelling you, who knows.

You love the sight and the happy squeals. You tease him with more speed. Not without effect, your hips lunge and aim deep all the more. You penetrate him far enough to start an excavation for ancient relics next Monday. With the tempo increasing, so does the chesty volume in his voice.

„It’s,“ he cries out, „in my belly! Ah! Ah, shit! Shit...“

You see Yuzu let go of the duvet with his left hand. It promptly darts way down to his abdomen where his fingers grope around.

„I can feel it,“ he whines, „It’s rubbing there, it’s a big bump!“

You sure won’t deprive your own hand from that sensation and reach right down, too. Which means leaning forward— and stuffing your strap even harder into his guts. Yuzu gasps out loud. Both your hands meet fondling about, cupping the sensitive area in search for the imprint of the dildo.

What Yuzu says is not understated. His slender little belly is all bulged out in the bottom quarter. Since he’s so thin, it’s almost scary how much your cock just dents him out and twists around.

„Jesus, Yuzu,“ you let your hand roam next to his, even lightly squeezing the area. It’s what really riles him.

What you thought was the maximum for him to take turns out to be nothing but a mere start. Yuzu is so obsessed to feel the bulge more that he starts bucking his ass onto your cock with the most unbridled voice cracks.

You can’t lie. His moans make your jaw drop. His usually so controlled body on the ice is now wrecking and writhing itself to get more dick.

A thin line of sweat goes on a pilgrimage down his spine already. He impales himself more, gyrates his hips more, whines out more. You wonder how he keeps it together and doesn’t spritz all his cum over the bed and the floor tiles.

It’s the sheer force of will. Always hungry for the next level. You can’t help but admire how enduring he is. And that’s just the first time.

Yuzu’s feet have become agitated on the sheets, responding to every thrust by dangling and swishing around. Yesterday, his right ankle was all stiff and even a bit swollen. Now, it’s moving all over the place. Looks like doggy style is putting all the tension off the ligaments. It’s something else you take deliberate note of.

After five more thrusts and hearing his whimpers getting all drawn-out, eventually, you retreat for a break, letting your cock rest on his left ass cheek. Yuzu inhales, gathering himself. He looks at you with big, glazed bambi eyes. Maybe even a bit incredulous.

„Am I, am I gaping?“

You don’t have to check twice to know.

„All lose. If you knew how far I can see inside of you. Hole new world.“

„Y/N!“

He can’t hold eye contact now.

„Naughty, huh. But I like what I see.“

Goddamn great ass. You firmly smack Yuzu squarely across his right butt cheek. He twitches, clenches, bites his lips more. They tremble.

„Ah! You tease!“

„Want me to put it in again?“

Wild nodding. Looks like Yuzu’s usual voracity on the ice does an easy, albeit not entirely seamless transfer to bed, too. He still ogles what is about to stretch him out again with due respect. He still can’t fathom something this massive was inside of him, you can tell.

Once you start moving again, you notice his feet and thigh muscles violently jerking. His prostate has gotten all sensitive. Probably all spongy and large by now.

You decide to angle yourself differently and take a deep breath. Impossible to draw this out any longer. From the vicinity of Yuzu’s pillow, you grasp the Winnie Pooh plush toy and maneuver it into his awaiting embrace. He holds it tight in an instant.

With impatient hands, you fumble around the bed for the lube bottle until you find it next to his right foot. Two, three, four generous squeezes onto his asshole, not very accurate at all. Several fine, oily traces end up trickling down his inner thighs. You don’t even bother closing the bottle properly anymore. Too much adrenaline.

„Grab those sheets and Pooh, Yuzu, grab hard.“

„I got it!“

„Time I fuck you up. If you’re ready?“

„Yes, make me cum, make me cum! Please break my ass,“ he’s whimpering. So badly. „I want it! I want it all inside.“

Mister Lube has a last job to handle.

Yuzu has crammed three fingers into his mouth once you get a hold of his hair and deliver the last hard movements. He takes the blows all babbling and sucking himself off. How his ass is not completely falling apart by now is a miracle of nature. Or maybe, just the blessing of his daily training.

The room is heavy with the scent of sweat and cherries. He’s loosened his core so much that sliding in is not a question of you avoiding a cramp anymore, but technique. You feel focused to zero in and not miss the sweet, tender spot. It makes him mewl the first time you push your dick tip right into it.

The second time, his eyes get big and fluttering.

„Please. Please, hurt me,“ he salivates, then eventually, grabs his plush harder. „Hurt me bad. I’m really begging you.“

Fast to oblige, you claw your hands around his waist and pull his body backwards. The ten nails digging into him are only the last needed set-up. The last jab comes in crisp, landing a severe and punctuated shock. Yuzu’s ass smacks up hard at your loins. The pain quickly snakes right up his spine and leaves his face contorted.

„Oh fuck…!“

Small, shaking Yuzu cums like fifty fireworks going off at once. Not even releasing his screams into the duvet really helps to mute out the heaviness of the first waves. You keep your cock right in place and let it buffer into his prostate at will.

Yuzu’s legs kick and tangle under you like pasta in boiling water. He cries and groans and curses, and cries out even more. You can see his entire back muscles at work now, going like clockwork. His moans each sound so ecstatic, it registers as a different language to you. He spirals far into his orgasm, sobbing, and it looks beautiful.

„Amazing, Yuzu.“

His semen lands all over his sternum and the sheets, shooting out in several bursts, one more pumping than the other. It’s almost as if all that strawberry juice converted nicely into a blotchy, white fluid.

His dick is still tensing up completely sensitive. Releasing cum, up until his legs stop going all over the place. Yuzu doesn’t let the sperm cool for twenty seconds that he already reaches down to pick it up, jerking his cock a last dozen times, only to bring to his mouth what his fingers collected. He sucks up all of it.

„Delicious, baby?“

„M—hm!“

„So nicely milked.“

His relished expression. You imagine that this must have been how the gods first tasted nectar.

While he licks away, Yuzu goes limp head to toe with you carefully pulling out your dick. Inch by inch. Not pulling. Only gliding.

Once you’ve removed the tip, he collapses into a sniffing, giggly puddle of serotonin. Crying, even when you lend him both your hands to lay his face into.

He’s so gorgeous.

Breathing hard, sweaty, drooling and messed up. His body is so steamy and loose, splayed out all the way before you. His entrance has turned all pink so beautifully. Hot. As. Fuck.

Most psychologists would envy you for being able to gaze this far into Yuzuru Hanyu’s innermost clenching being. How his ass is going to close until tomorrow’s competition, you don’t know.

Time to pray he won’t digest these savory cakes too fast. Then again, he didn’t eat properly at all. His body is probably soaking up all the fruit and rice in their entirety.

You pat his lower back gently, making sure to lay him down into a sleeping position already. Pooh is right by his side. Yuzu’s legs are still so dangly.

He’s really let go completely. You’ve not fucked his ass, but his soul.

You want to thank him for trusting you so much. Beside the shady black box manufacturer.

The bed is a glorious mess.

Removing the strap-on harness makes you feel just how loosened your own limbs have become, too. Come to think of it, this might be your new heavy-duty workout. None of your friends know you do this kind of cardio involving the best ass in the whole city as your personal trainer.

Yuzu’s butt has turned you into a drenched, wobbly homo sapiens that will probably look in the mirror by tomorrow and proclaim herself a bodybuilder from those sheer muscle burn gains.

When the two of you show up at the rink tomorrow, you both need hunky guys carrying you in by the armpits or something.

And the whole world will wonder how Yuzu’s wonky ankle magically recovered overnight but he can’t sit.

Changing the duvet at quarter past twelve with an unmovable Yuzu on top of it seems like a thing of the impossible. It’s soiled, it’s sweaty, it would probably make it to the first page if a reporter ever got hold of it.

But you take it pragmatically and opt for sleeping on Yuzu’s cleaner side of the bed intertwined. It’s surprisingly dry there. Big laundry day tomorrow, anyway.

The only thing you manage to do is reach for the window to open and to grab a glass of water from the bedstand to share. He’s chugging the remaining half down in one go. His hands? Oh wonder.

More than steady.

He calmed completely. After he puts down the glass, you scoot closer to him.

„Your foot — better?“

„Oh? I didn’t even think about it.“

He wriggles his left leg back and forth underneath the blanket, then concludes with a surprised face:

„It’s turning pretty well? I think you hit a nerve. Maybe you should split me in half more often.“

He shrugs. Yuzu’s serious face while saying that so dryly makes you laugh.

„Looks like it,“ you draw out the open lube bottle from beside you, finally closing the lid. „Do you… need a towel?“

„I just need you. I have to be disgusting for once.“

„I’ll scrape that all off tomorrow before we leave. Hot shower, five tons of shampoo. I’ll be breaking out the stuff you clean your skates with if I have to.“

That makes Yuzu chuckle. In fact, he beams a little.

„Sounds like something to look forward to.“

„I hope you can walk, anyway. Is it painful?“

Your biggest sorrow at this point. Taking his mind off was easy, but now he’s got boneless legs. Your conscience nags you for dicking him down out of all possible things.

„You have your weapon license now. I gotta admit… the last one…“

…was ass destruction 3.0, you complete his sentence in your mind. It’s nothing a normal human being could have stomached. „I’ll manage, though. I still feel my legs.“

„God, how does he do it.“

A smug „He’s Yuzuru Hanyu, that’s how, aw yeah!“ is what you imagine God’s answer to sound like. But instead, all you get is a little smile. Very well, from the little God in your bed.

„Pooh did this. When I squeezed him, I knew I could take it.“

He reaches to the middle of the bed. Five consecutive head pats for the bear plushie and Yuzu looks content already.

„Winning medals with just one working ankle is the same as doing it with a demolished ass to you, huh.“

„It’s not demolished, it’s improved and overhauled,“ he smiles. „Never felt any better. It was really good how you did this.“

It’s his strangest sport philosophy yet. But if you know one thing, it’s that Yuzu’s bizarre body hacks have gotten him the podium every time. You can already see him asking for another strap round before your mind’s eye. Before the next competition, at least.

„You honestly blow my mind.“

„And your dick, tomorrow night,“ goes Yuzu’s cheeky winner grin. There it is. Insatiable how you love it. You already feel the need to google ‚hip thrust strengthening exercises’.

Maybe, if science advances to that point one day, you honestly clone yourself so double your capacity. And so that you can spitroast him. Maybe you order another dildo from the website and pin it to the wall, anyways.

„Must be Mister Lube who did all of this.“

„I want to buy more of it tomorrow. Any other groceries we need, anyway? I’ll be cleaning the floor, too. I hope I’m not too worn-out after skating.“

„We’ll do one thing after the other, alright. There are still rice cakes left for breakfast, those will get you through the day.“

You’ve seen how much of an energy burst the cakes gave him.

„I really like those,“ he mumbles, then nuzzles into the pillow, sucking in your hair’s scent. Oh, it’s the moment you waited for. „Snickers diva… happy.“

A very cheery, puffy face slowly comes to rest beside you now, hair going in all directions. Infallible and ever-returning: Professor Yuzu’s explosive hairdo. Pooh is all clingy at his chest. A little worn from all the squeezing, but still with an amicable chuckle. You smile from ear to ear. It’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

You kiss Yuzuru’s little nose and lips until he’s making sleepy sounds. Either this is a late-night mirage created by your very moan-tested ears, or he is actually purring. You make sure the Pooh plush resting at his chest faces him correctly, then clear away the remaining strawberries, shut the window, arrange the blanket, put on your pajamas properly.

The humidifier whirrs in the background while tiger baby does one last big yawn before drifting off. In a matter of two minutes, maybe even less than that.

Just as you reach toward the bedstand to switch off the light, Yuzu’s hand curls into your shirt from behind. You turn, he is all dozed off. Not one leg fidgeting. However, talking in his sleep with his hand nestled into your PJs.

„Big hug please, Pooh mama.“

#figure skating #yuzuru hanyu #yuzuru hanyu smut #yuzuru hanyu x reader #yuzuru hanyu fanfic #figure skating fanfic #fs #figure skating smut #sub!yuzuru #dom!reader #treats for you #original content

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mahouref · 4 years ago

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Masterlist of words to use in magical girl names!

(Some are very themed such as fruits or colours, others are more general like ‘magical’ or ‘heart’. I’d suggest matching a themed word with a general word to make a magical name, but use this list however you like!)

air

amethyst

amour

ange

angelic / angel

aqua / aquatic

autumn

azure

beautiful / beauty

bell

belle

berry

black

blossom / bloom

blue

blush

breeze

bubblegum

bunny

buttercup

butterfly

candy

carnation

celestial / celeste

charm / charming

cheer / cheery

cherry

cloud / cloudy

coral

cosmic / cosmos

cosy / cozy

crystal

dahlia

daisy

dancing / dancer

dawn

delicious

delight / delightful

devil / devilish

diamond

dreamy / dream / dreamer

drop

earth

electric

elegant

ethereal

etoile

fairy

fancy

fizz / fizzy

flame / fire / flare

fleur

flora

flower

fluffy

flutter / fluttering / fluttery

galaxy

garnet

gem / gemstone

glimmer / glimmering

golden

gorgeous

grace / graceful

green

happy

heart / heartful

heavenly

honey

ice / icy

indigo

inferno

infinite

kitty

lace

lavender

lemon / lemonade

light

lightning

lilac

lily

lotus

lovely / love

luminous

luna

mage

magical / magi

marine

melody / melodious

merry

mew

mighty

milk / milky

mint / minty

miracle / miraculous

misty / mist

moonlight

muse

neon

night / midnight

nurse

ocean

opal

orange

orchid

pansy

parfait

passion / passionate

pastel

peace / peaceful

peach / peachy

pearl / pearly

periwinkle

pine

pink

pixie

poppy

princess / prince / princette

purple

queen

rain / rainy

rainbow

red

rosy / rose

rouge

royal

ruby

sapphire

scarlet

seranade

serene / serenity

shining / shiny

shy

silver

sky / skies

snow

soleil

sparkling / sparkle / sparky

spirit / soul

spring

starry / starlight / starlit

stellar

stormy

sugar / sugary

summer

sunny / sun / sunshine

teal

tiara / crown

turquoise

twilight

twinkling / twinkle

velvet

violet

water

white

winter

wishful

yellow

zap / zappy

#my post #i might update it if i find / think of more #i got half of these from existing magical girl names and also some mlp names #you can't tell me 'twilight sparkle' doesn't sound like a magical girl name #anyway this ought to help me with naming more mahous in the future #my mind goes blank when naming things so having a list in front of me is good #magical girls #mahou shoujo #magical girl names #long post

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phoenix-art-official · 5 years ago

Photo

Bean and Imp!

a couple of splatoon ocs ive been working on. their info is below the cut!

Bean

female inkling. 19 yrs old. any pronouns

weapons:

most ranged weapons

favorite: jet squelcher

favorite sub: toxic mist

favorite special: booyah bomb

gear:

sneaky beanie

green zip hoodie

angry rain boots

ranks:

clam blitz: b

rainmaker: s-

splat zones: s+ 3

tower control: a+

grizzco: 300

traits:

-mute

-knows isl (inkling sign language) and osl (octoling sign language)

-raised by Deaf inklings

-revenge-splatter

-no tolerance for squid-baggers

-doesnt squid party, but wont bother partiers

-touch-starved

-lesbian

-protective of newbs

-doesnt play clam blitz unless invited

-will say yes to any invitation

-sends love memes every day

-surprisingly smooth

-remembers everyones birthday

-trusts easily once you manage to be friends with her

-gets most of her income from salmon run, thoroughly enjoys it, has some cult fame there (the turf and salmon scenes have no correlation)

-shares an apartment in inkopolis with imp, would gladly pay the rent herself but imp insists they split it evenly

opinions on imp:

-sees her like a little sister, trusts her with her life

-jet squelcher was a gift from her

-shares cult fame with her to a lesser extent

-carries her whenever possible, imp hates (loves) it

-always touching her in some way (hand on shoulder, arm around her, hand holding, etc)

-gladly admits she’s the best thing that ever happened to her

favorite…

color: green

number: 4

breakfast: marshmallow cereal

lunch: crusty shwaffle

dinner: pizza (to share)

dessert: double banana boat ice cream sundae

pizza topping: ham

season: summer

fruit: blueberry

juice: pink lemonade

flower: white cosmos

music genre: 8bit and parody (they might be giants, lemon demon, ninja squid party)

song: goodbye to a world

movie genre: b-movie horror and rom-com

movie: mantas, the hands of fate

yes/no?

pineapple on pizza: yes

tomato is a fruit: no

wash hands before eating: yes

brush teeth 2x a day: yes

hotdog is a sandwhich: yes

cereal is soup: yes

pulp in juice: yes

butter on popcorn: yes

book reader: not really

painted nails: sometimes

swearing: not excessively

spicy food: can withstand it but doesnt care for it

this/that?

coffee/tea: soda

cola/pepsi: cola

chaos/order: chaos

callie/marie: marie

punk/pastel: punk

pearl/marina: marina

Imp

female inkling. 15 yrs old. she/her

weapons:

dualies

favorite: kensa glooga dualies

favorite sub: fizzy bomb

favorite special: booyah bomb (or killer wail if it werent banned)

gear:

li'l devil horns

annaki drive tee

pearl punk crowns

ranks:

clam blitz: s+0

rainmaker: a+

splat zones: a-

tower control: a

grizzco: 90

traits:

-turf war protege

-HOH due to early-onset hearing damage, can still hear but not well, hearing deteriorates with time until eventually she becomes fully “deaf”

-knows isl and osl

-quick thinker

-easy to rile up

-extremely protective

-paranoid & skeptical

-easy friend-maker, hard to trust

-fear of people getting close

-self-hatred issues

-abandoned at 10

-doesnt like going in public alone, often asks bean to come with her

-cult famous, gets income from turfing career

-hates salmon run but got to profresh 90 because shes stubborn (and to impress bean)

-squid-bags when she really pops off

-fun is more important than winning, even if she gets tilted

-shares an apartment in inkopolis with bean

opinions on bean:

-made friends with her during a random turf match, theyve been inseperable ever since

-looks up to her like a big sister

-bean taught her everything she knows about the Deaf community

-wants to impress her

-feels indebted to her for bringing some light into her otherwise dull life

-secretly loves being carried by bean, will cling to her at any given opportunity

favorite…

color: pink

number: infinity

breakfast: pancakes with syrup and blueberries

lunch: a mountain of fries and fried chicken

dinner: chicken noodle soup

dessert: extra chocolate ice cream

pizza topping: pineapple (for show. really prefers plain or extra cheese)

season: summer (is what she tells people, really loves winter)

fruit: cherry

juice: fizzy water

flower: tsubaki

music genre: vocaloid and whatever mindless self inkdulgence is

song: youre gonna go far, squid (or never wanted to dance)

movie genre: studio ghuppli and any movie she can quote from memory

movie: princess mononinke

yes/no?

pineapple on pizza: yes

tomato is a fruit: no

wash hands before eating: not always

brush teeth 2x a day: no

hotdog is a sandwhich: yes

cereal is soup: yes

pulp in juice: yes

butter on popcorn: yes

book reader: no

painted nails: yes

swearing: excessively

spicy food: loves it

this/that?

coffee/tea: coffee

cola/pepsi: pepsi

chaos/order: chaos

callie/marie: callie

punk/pastel: pastel

pearl/marina: pearl

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #inkling #inklings #splatoon oc #splat ocs #inkling oc #spla2n

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ladytesla · 6 years ago

Text

(MCxValerius) The Grand Tour

It takes you a good few hours walking before you made it outside the city to the vineyard. You’ve never seen a vineyard before, but gazing out onto the rolling fields striped with even rows of grapevines, with a few low, graceful buildings atop the hill like a crown, you decide that this is how a vineyard should look. As you walk down the pale dusty road toward the manor, you’re met by an open carriage so tiny it only needs one horse to pull it. You blink in surprise and smile when you recognize the driver.

“You do realize you could have asked me to give you a lift?” Valerius frowns at your dusty clothes. “You must be exhausted from walking this far.”

“I wanted to enjoy the nice weather today,” you shrug, climbing up to sit beside him in the cart. He looks different. The Valerius you knew, the one you met and fell in love with, was always poised and effortlessly put together, never a wrinkle in his clothes or a hair out of place. This one sitting beside you now wore lighter, looser clothing, and smelled faintly like sweat… something the Consul would never allow normally. A few stubborn hairs had fallen loose from his braid, and… was that a sunburn across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose?

“You’ve been working a lot out here, I see,” you say. “This vineyard is beautiful.”

“It is,” he agrees, his face breaking into a rare smile. “Thank you for coming. I’ve been wanting to give you a tour of this place for a while now, but it wasn’t ready yet.” His golden eyes flick over to your face, and the smile turns into a wry smirk. “It would be better if you came tomorrow, though, but no… you’re always doing your own thing, little magician.”

“And what’s so special about tomorrow?” You ask.

“I’m finalizing the designs for some labels tomorrow,” he replies as the cart turns toward the manor house. “You like colorful things. I think you’d enjoy yourself.” He stops the cart in the courtyard and the two of you get out. White stucco walls surround the cobblestone courtyard, which was broken up by a few flowering bushes for decoration. You were impressed.

“Now then,” he says as he hands the horse’s reins off to a servant. “Care for a tour of the old place?”

“It’s what I came for,” you grin.

You quickly realize that Valerius is in his element here just as much as he was in the Countess’s parlor at the palace. But here, the thinly-veiled condescension and impatience he displayed toward the courtiers was gone. He was lord of this domain, and he intended to make the best of it. He guides you through the steps of the winemaking process, showing you workers stomping down grapes, massive containers, rows of oak barrels… you hear words you’ve never heard before like ‘tannins’, ‘pigeage’, ‘tartrate crystals’… you know what ‘fermentation’ and ‘aging’ mean with regards to wine, but there was so much more to it than putting grape juice in a bottle and waiting a little while. And Valerius knew all the ins and outs of it. It sounds a lot like potion making to you.

You end up zoning out during his tour, though, and just watching him. There’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there before, an excitement as he tells you his plans. He almost looks younger.

“And you’re not even listening to me now, are you dear?” He sighs.

“You were talking about… tannins, right?” You ask sheepishly.

“That was several rooms ago, you little fool, and you know it,” he leans in and presses a fond kiss to your forehead. “I’m afraid I’m boring you with technical details. How about we go see the house and have something to eat?”

Soon the two of you are out on a sunny balcony with plates of fruit, cheese and other things, as well as a pair of unlabeled bottles of wine.

“Now, these were here when I bought the vineyard,” he said as he pours you a glass of something pale and fizzy. “But I decided to rename them.” The sunburn on his cheeks darkens a bit as he adds, “you know, as thanks… for freeing me from The Devil’s influence and saving the city and all that. This one’s The Fool.”

You take a taste, and realize it’s the same sweet almond-scented wine you’d tried months before. He sees the recognition in your eyes and smiles. “I thought you’d like it.”

“What about this one?” You point to the other bottle which he’s pouring into his own glass.

“The Heirophant,” he shrugs. “I like the sound of it.” He pauses after taking the first sip, his eyes narrowing at you from across the table. “Oh no, you don’t. Don’t look at me like that.”

“How am I looking at you?” You laugh.

“I can see you scheming,” he accuses. “You want me to make a Magician wine for your master, a High Priestess label for the Countess… No, no, and no.” His voice is stern, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’m not going to turn this perfectly respectable vineyard into some sort of haven for mystical mumbo-jumbo. No. The only thing magical I want around here is you.”

He finishes the tour of the house by showing you the kitchens, the dining room, the (massive) wine cellar, the guest rooms, and a bathing room that rivaled the palace’s in luxury. Finally, he shows you the master suite, which was definitely designed with comfort in mind.

“This is our room,” he says calmly.

“Our room?” You repeat in surprise. Then you think about the other things you’ve seen on the tour… the two robes hanging in the bathing room, the vases with your favorite flowers in them, a little area that would be perfect for your familiar to play around in…

“Of course,” he says simply. “I’m assuming you’re going to move out here sooner or later… aren’t you?”

You glance over at him. He still looks calm, but his eyes are riveted to you, waiting. He knows he’s asked a lot of you, but he’s willing to take the risk.��

“I’ll need to let Asra know,” you say, “but… yes. I like it out here.” You take his hand, twining your fingers with his.

In an instant he’s set down his wine glass and crushed you to him.

“Thank goodness,” he murmured in your ear. “I was starting to think you’d say no… or you wouldn’t get the hint and I’d have to get down on one knee and recite horrible poetry like some lovesick idiot.”

You grin and hug him back, pressing close to him. He pulls away slightly, just enough to come back in for a kiss. His hands trace up and down your back, as though trying to memorize you by touch. You can feel your heart begin to race and you cling to him, afraid your knees might begin to buckle. He grins against your lips. He knows the effect he can have on you.

“It’s much too dark for you to head out now,” he murmurs, his lips brushing your ear. “You may have to stay the night.”

You reach over and pull the draw-cord for the curtains, covering the window looking out over the sunny and perfectly well-lit fields, the sun only just beginning its descent.

“How horrible,” you steer him towards the bed, blindly fumbling around unfamiliar furniture until you both sink down onto the mattress. “Where am I gonna sleep?”

He gently pushes you to lie back and leans over you.

“Who said anything about sleep?” He asks, his voice husky and deep as he trails his hand down your chest and stomach, lower, lower.

You shudder and stifle a gasp as he leans in and bites gently on your lower lip, a sign of his need, a promise of what was to come. “You’re not sleeping until I’m good and done with you, magician.”

#the arcana #my writing #valerius #consul valerius #wine daddy

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greaseonmymouth · 5 years ago

Note

Been reading your tags and this is totally not proved but based off people I know anyone who like coriander has a more sensitive palate and picks up on more flavors in their food vs people like me that hate coriander. Onions are savory and sweet. Celery has no flavor which makes it the ideal vehicle for dips it’s about the crunch. I straight up didn’t know a lot of foods had a smell or had diffrent flavors to diffrent people for years. Kinda related would you say you have a good sense of smell?

I’ve never heard of that before? I’d be interested in reading more about it.

I’m not sure about my sense of smell because often I feel like I can’t smell anything at all but then again I have a lot of smells that I Do Not Like and I will pick up on TRACES. In my old flat I could smell it through the walls when my neighbour was smoking. I’m not joking. (my current building is non-smoking so it’s not an issue.)

Celery has no flavor which makes it the ideal vehicle for dips it’s about the crunch

I’m sorry, I just, I cannot comprehend this as any kind of truth. It’s crunchy, yes, but it has a very intense pepper-y flavour that reminds me of cabbage (though cabbage isn’t as strongly flavoured as celery, and it depends on which variety of cabbage you get anyway...). sort of green. and it fills your entire skull. very overpowering. I used to think that the reason why bloody marys were always depicted with celery sticks in them was because the bloody mary itself had such a strong flavour (assuming, I’ve never had one) from the tomato juice and tabasco sauce and alcohol that it could sort of outweigh the celery. or that one wasn’t supposd to eat it anyway.

I’m procrastinating my reading for tomorrow’s class so have a non-exhaustive list of foods that I suspect I don’t taste the same way other people do:

1. celery. as mentioned.

2. onions. very overwhelming zingy, acidy, oniony, that will let you taste literally nothing else. when cooked they’re sweet, but raw they hurt. I can’t just ‘pick them off’ either, whatever they touched/now has onion juice on it is forever ruined, and the taste will remain in my mouth and throat for up to two days after. regarding onions, I can eat NO type of onion raw. not leeks either. I can handle garlic in very small amounts but it very quickly becomes overwhelming and I’ve started cooking it even when a recipe asks for it raw because it’s a much mellower softer flavour and doesn’t overpower everything else nor does it make me feel like the inside of my mouth is made of garlic for up to two days after.

3. carrots. raw carrots taste Bad. I spent my entire time living in Denmark completely BAFFLED by how people would just...bring entire carrots to munch on at school or how carrots were offered as a Good Snack in various places because they just...taste...like....That? cooked carrots are so sweet as to be inedible. are these things made of sugar? I can handle raw carrots in salads if shredded and in small amounts because I can barely taste them then, and I’ll add them for the sake of fibre. I’m happy to add carrots to tomato based dishes in moderate amounts (just enough that the carrots will soak up the flavour of the dish and not so much the dish itself will taste of carrot.)

4. beets. see above. I’ve been eating a lot of shredded beets in bistro salad mixes from tesco/sainsbury’s/m&s/whatever these past two weeks because they barely taste of anything like that and I want the extra fibre in my lunch salads. I added shredded beets to lasagne once and it was great. as a side effect the pasta turned pink.

5. tea. when tea is made properly (steeped at the correct temperature for however long it says on the package) it turns into an incredibly bitter hot drink with the texture of dust. I can drink peppermint tea (if not steeped for too long) and I can deal with chamomile if I have to (it just tastes like grass) and there’s one or two tea blends out there I can drink if I dunk the teabag for like 4 seconds and add honey, but I can only find those blends in Finland so it’s not like I’m having it on a daily basis anyway.

6. red wine. it varies, but many red wines have the same dusty texture as tea does and are too bitter. (white wine is for me hit or miss, it’ll often either be too sweet or too dry/bitter, so I just... don’t drink a lot of wine. my alcoholic drink of choice is apple cider.)

7. GRAPEFRUIT IS THE FRUIT OF THE DEVIL. THE MOST BITTER THING I HAVE EVER LET PAST MY LIPS. I can drink lemon juice without making a face but drinking grapefruit juice makes my mouth feel like it wants to escape my body.

8. coffee. also intolerably bitter. I don’t react well to caffeine so I avoid coffee anyway, but the few times I’ve had it, I’ve only been able to tolerate it in drinks that are like 1/11ths coffee, 3/11ths chocolate and 7/11ths milk. as in, so watered down that it’s almost not bitter anymore and I can actually taste the coffee itself along with the other components. but also coffee has this burnt aftertaste that reminds me of cigarette smoke, which is another thing I Do Not Like.

9. iceberg lettuce and a few other varieties. tastes like watery tinfoil. cucumber can be like this too but it really depends. I have had some good ones and some inedible ones.

10. rucola (rocket?) is Bitter Leaf Salad and I can tolerate it only in certain combinations and in small amounts.

11. coca cola, pepsi, and similarly flavoured off brand drinks. Bad. just Bad.

12. sweeteners. I can’t drink most sugar free soft drinks (like sugarfree sprite or or whatever) because the sweetener is so bitter. it’s not sweet, it’s just bitter. it makes the soft drink taste like grapefruit in disguise. like the sugar free sprites are mirror universe version of the real sprites. pure evil. (possibly this depends on what kind of sweetener it is but I just avoid sweeteners in general...)

13. peanut butter (and peanuts in general) are the worst fucking thing you could give me that isn’t a grapefruit. it’s bitter and earthy and makes no sense at all. sidenote: all my siblings are allergic to peanuts and there’s a chance I might be as well; last time I tried to be open minded about food and had peanut butter, I felt so sick afterwards. never again.

14. hazelnuts. they taste like dirt. they’re also weirdly bitter, but not as strongly bitter as other foods I’ve mentioned. they’re just Not a Good flavour. No, I don’t like nutella.

15. fresh peas in those big bulging shells that you open yourself and that you can get in most summer markets? I think they’re called sweetpeas? everybody I know is like “YAY PEAS THEY’RE SO SWEET” and I’m just over here like, they taste Green. I can detect some of the sweetness? but they just taste...Green to me. frozen peas I’m ok with, they taste different. I prefer canned peas but that’s because it’s a flavour I grew up with and am very used to.

16. beer is fizzy bitter mouldy grain water and I’ve never understood the appeal. no thanks.

#back to my reading for tomorrow's class #Anonymous

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sugaredge · 6 years ago

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nancy boy

link

credit in the straight world - young marble giants

she don’t use jelly - the flaming lips

cherry - smashing pumpkins

boom swagger boom - the murder city devils

plastic - portishead

threads - portishead

so sad - vincent gallo

delta sun bottleneck stomp - mercury rev

prove it - television

when - vincent gallo

honey boney - vincent gallo

mansize rooster - supergrass

she said - longpigs

losing my religion - r.e.m.

cheeking tongues - wire

include me out - young marble giants

shake the dope out - the warlocks

moving mountains - the warlocks

sandblasted - swervedriver

lead me where you dare - swervedriver

christine - siouxsie and the banshees

spellbound - siouxsie and the banshees

old school joint - missy elliott

driftwood - travis

she’s so strange - travis

lost myself - longpigs

bye - elliott smith

somebody i used to know - elliott smith

waltz #1 - elliott smith

lose it - supergrass

caught by the fuzz (acoustic) - supergrass

anoymous - sleater-kinney

little mouth - sleater-kinney

happy again - longpigs

sleep - longpigs

machine gun etiquette - the damned

bela lugosi's dead - bauhaus

ether - gang of four

the man amplifier - young marble giants

colossal youth - young marble giants

the dope feels good - the warlocks

hurricane heart attack - the warlocks

some place else - wipers

reflections are protection - la roux

i’m not your toy - la roux

black betty - lead belly

where did you sleep last night - lead belly

midnight special - lead belly

leaving blues - lead belly

standing in the way of control - gossip

coal to diamonds - gossip

southern comfort - gossip

as you are - travis

the last of the laughter - travis

turn - travis

english subtitles - swervedriver

last rites - swervedriver

lover i don’t have to love - bright eyes

man and wife, the former (financial planning) - desaparecidos

nothing gets crossed out - bright eyes

open heart surgery - the brian jonestown massacre

lets go fucking mental - the brian jonestown massacre

anemone - the brian jonestown massacre

it girl - the brian jonestown massacre

ballad of jim jones - the brian jonestown massacre

david bowie (i love you) since i was six - the brian jonestown massacre

my man syd - the brian jonestown massacre

ahead - wire

life in the manscape - wire

where’s the deputation? - wire

what do you see? - wire

troy - sinéad o’connor

this is a rebel song - sinéad o’connor

the only one i know - the charlatans

flower - the charlatans

30th century man - scott walker

always coming back to you - scott walker

when joanna lov ed me - scott walker

jackie - scott walker

plastic palace people - scott walker

no surprises - radiohead

karma police - radiohead

paranoid android - radiohead

lucky - radiohead

thinking about you - radiohead

the bends - radiohead

high and dry - radiohead

fake plastic trees - radiohead

landslide - smashing pumpkins

jellybelly - smashing pumpkins

an ode to no one - smashing pumpkins

ava adore - smashing pumpkins

shame - smashing pumpkins

rocket - smashing pumpkins

disarm - smashing pumpkins

zero - smashing pumpkins

through the roof n underground - gogol bordello

start wearing purple - gogol bordello

wonderlust kin g - gogol bordello

never young - gogol bordello

your song - elton john

tiny dnacer - elton john

don’t go breaking my heart - elton john & kiki dee

pale blue eyes - the velvet underground

what goes on - the velvet underground

beginning to see the light - the velvet underground

i’m set free - the velvet underground

landslide - fleetwood mac

over my head - fleetwood mac

crystal - fleetwood mac

i’m so afraid - fleetwood mac

edge of seventeen - stevie nicks

gold dust woman - karen elson

the ghost who walks - karen elson

stolen roses - karen elson

season of the witch - karen elson

the truth is in the dirt - karen elson

o stella - pj harvey

dress - pj harvey

happy and bleeding - pj harvey

plants and rags - pj harvey

50ft queenie - pj harvey

dry - pj harvey

sofa song - the kooks

eddie’s gun - the kooks

ooh la - the kooks

naive - the kooks

jackie big tits

silver soul - beach house

lover of mine - beach house

used to be - beach house

zebra - beach house

sparks - beach house

space song - beach house

work it - missy elliott

get ur freak on - missy elliott

wtf (where they from) [feat. pharrell williams] - missy elliott

...so addictive - missy elliott

scream aka itchin’ - missy elliott

fallin’ - teenage fanclub & dee la soul

the concept - teenage fanclub

sidewinder - teenage fanclub

metal baby - teenage fanclub

what you do to me - teenage fanclub

alcoholiday - teenage fanclub

it’s a shame about ray - the lemonheads

my drug buddy - the lemonheads

if i could talk i’d tell you - the lemonheads

i love rock n roll - the jesus and mary chain

birthday - the jesus and mary chain

fizzy - the jesus and mary chain

perfume - the jesus and mary chain

never understood - the jesus and mary chain

black - the jesus and mary chain

dream lover - the jesus and mary chain

sometimes always - the jesus and mary chain

she - the jesus and mary chain

everybody i know - the jesus and mary chain

color me once - violent femme

holes - mercury rev

beautiful future - primal scream

zombie man - primal scream

over & over - primal scream

the glory of love - primal scream

can’t go back - primal scream

wake up boo! - the boo radleys

there she goes - the boo radleys

laid - james

say something - james

she’s a star - james

your love is not enough - manic street preachers & nina persson

autumnsong - manic street preachers

a design for life - manic street preachers

me and stephen hawking - manic street preachers

all is vanity - manic street preachers

gun and juice - snoop dogg

lodi dodi - snoop dogg

serial killa - snoop dogg

doggy dogg world - snoop dogg

who am i (what’s my name)? - snoop dogg

flying - the telescopes

never hurt you - the telescopes

the perfect needle - the telescopes

celeste - the telescopes

precious little - the telescopes

i fall she screams - the telescopes

threadbare - the telescopes

anticipating nowhere - the telescopes

silent water - the telescopes

the sleepwalk - the telescopes

lord and you hear me? - spacemen 3

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space - spiritualized

think i’m in love - spiritualized

come together - spiritualized

no god only religion - spiritualized

cop shoot cop... - spiritualized

the individual - spiritualized

strange - galaxie 500

tugboat - galaxie 500

blue thunder - galaxie 500

isn’t it a pity - galaxie 500

when the sun hits - slowdive

machine gun - slowdive

40 days - slowdive

seagull - ride

cut your hair - pavement

range life - pavement

gold soundz

spit on a stranger - pavement

son of a gun - the vaselines

jesus wants me for a sunbeam - the vaselines

you think you’re a man - the vaselines

molly’s lips - the vaselines

dying for it - the vaselines

teenage superstars - the vaselines

monsterpussy - the vaselines

bitch - the vaselines

slushy - the vaselines

dum-dum - the vaselines

let’s get ugly - the vaselines

red poppy (demo) - the vaselines

heart it races - dr.dog

how long must i wait - dr.dog

my friend - dr.dog

hang on - dr.dog

the rabbit, the bat & the reindeer - dr.dog

army of ancients - dr.dog

uncovering the old - dr.dog

ballad of a well-known gun - elton john

madman across the water - elton john

burn down the mission - elton john

talking old soldiers - elton john

teenage angst - placebo

hang on to your iq - placebo

nancy boy - placebo

i know - placebo

lady of the flowers - placebo

swallow - placebo

come home - placebo

36 degrees - placebo

meds - placebo

infra-red - placebo

drag - placebo

post blue - placebo

because i want you - placebo

space monkey - placebo

follow the cops back home - placebo

ashtray heart - placebo

happy you’re gone - placebo

kitty litter - placebo

running up that hill - placebo

20th century boy - placebo

jackie - placebo

humbug mountain song - fruit bats

you’re too weird - fruit bats

from a soon-to-be ghost town - fruit bats

home - edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros

#fbc #frances bean cobain #frances bean #frances bean cobain playlist #playlist #mixtape #spotify #frances cobain

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buffbin · 6 years ago

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Aesthetic Tag

this is super late but I was tagged by the cutie: @black-dog-mafia

rules: bold all the aesthetics that you relate to, then describe your aesthetic

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

side a - the city, glittering lights, yawning, skyscrapers, broken glass shards, street gangs, hip hop music, late night strolls, blinking stars, sleek cars, flickering neon signs, glittery earrings, small tattoos, empty subways,dark eyeshadow, snapping cameras, cozy apartments, fried churros, silver necklaces, dyed hair, ripped jeans, bright lipstick, dazzling smiles

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side b - the book nerd, large glasses, steaming hot chocolate, thick books, lofi music, hot pastries, soft smiles, large sweaters, quiet libraries, small flowers, melting candles, sweetened coffee, messy hair buns, soft pillows,fairy lights, vanilla scents

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side c - the stereotypical girl, soft pinks, mini skirts, crop tops, romantic fantasies, love songs, strawberry milkshakes, lipgloss, high ponytails, candy hearts, nail polish, starbucks coffee, clear skies, hoop earrings, excited ramblings, stuttering heartbeats, rose bouquets, soft blushes

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side d - the stereotypical boy, arcade games, graphic t-shirts, baseball caps, chocolate milkshakes, messy rooms, acoustic guitars, chocolate chip cookies, multi-colored bruises, rap music, nightly escapades, stolen glances, pencil-drumming, chocolate milk boxes, low hums

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side e - the nature hippie, mini plants, cloud-watching, star gazing, damp forests, sandy beaches, ocean waves, wildflowers, hiking, iced lemon tea, gardening, hippie music, buttered toast, birds chirping, multi-colored leaves, evening sunlight, fruit cups, sundresses

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side f - the rebel, cherry lollipops, devil hand signs, grape flavored bubble gum, rock music, killer boots, dark make-up, horror movies, denim jackets, switchblades, handguns, stargazing on rooftops, glowing cigarettes, large headphones, skull rings, converse shoes, graffiti murals, glowing moonlight, rose thorns, fishnet stockings

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side g - the winter, busy cafes, oversized hoodies, drizzling rain, small snowflakes, marshmallows in hot chocolate, loose hair, sad music, reading a book, blanket forts, frozen lakes, crackling fireplaces, old movies

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side h - the summer, tank tops, lemonade, sunny days, dripping popsicles, short haircuts, tinted sunglasses, cotton candy, amusement parks, traveling, blasting music on the car radio, wagging dog tails, large sunflowers, snow cones

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side i - the autumn, pumpkin lattes, warm bakeries, warm colors, hair braids, soft sweaters, colorful leaves, purring cats, dark chocolate bars, romance movies, soft music, zentangling, vintage cameras

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side j - the spring, floral scents, peach tea, mint shampoo, tinkling laughter,video cassettes, colorful paintings, excited smiles, lollipop sticks, blooming flowers, melting snow, action movies, singing in the shower

side k- my aesthetic: wind in my hair, stationery sets, peach fuzz, late night cuddles, sunsets, daydreaming, glasses clinking, fizzy drinks, lip biting, pink eyeshadow, floral wallpaper, vintage letterboxes, old stamps, the smell of leather

Tagging: @lunebinnie, @eunwoou, @my-only-universe, @ravenclawgirl17 and anyone else who wants to!

#tagged #this was fun

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pettyhajime · 7 years ago

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Twenty Questions

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better!

Tagged by: @impracticaldemon

Name: Daniela (fun fact: my full spanish ass name is 32 letters long …american primary school was a challenge for me bc of this lemme tell you) Nickname: on tumblr? I don’t have a nickname for my tumblr self. Dany (almost everyone I know calls me this), Danielita (spanish family friends call me this), Devil with an Angel Face or Angelic Face (inside joke from a spanish show so it sounds weird translated to english). My closest friend calls me “bosom friend” in reference to Anne of Green Gables bc Anne & Diana refer to each other as bosom friends and I always thought that was funny af :D Zodiac sign: Virgo! I’m a Virgo sun, Virgo ascendant/rising and Mercury dominant. (basically I’m hella virgo) My favorite signs are the stable signs: Virgo, Sagittarius, Aquarius and Cancer! (at least in imo they’re the most stable of their element, they’re also the cutest :D hehe) Height: about 5′6″ Ethnicity: American? I never know how to answer this… Orientation: I’ve only ever been attracted to males but I know for a fact I’m somewhere on the ace scale. Also, the last guy I was with was when I was 19 so it’s been a while; I’m not too sure of exactly how I’d be classified. Favourite fruits: black plums, yellow mangos, watermelon, & honeycrisp apples (I only eat honeycrisp apples bc I hate every other type of apple lol) Favourite season: I appreciate each season equally, as long as I’m not too hot or too cold I’m happy regardless of the time of year. Favourite Books: As a child: Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery. (I just finished watching Anne With an “E” on Netflix and I loved it!! I recommend it to everyone who likes this series!!). As an adult: Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice (the movie’s good too and sooo aesthetically pleasing to watch, my virgo ass was nuttin’ at all the fashion lmao). Favourite Flowers: My favorite type of flower is a closed white rose. It has to be closed because once they blossom they mean nothing to me + I don’t care for other rose colors as much. Favourite Animals: African elephants!! Asian elephants are okay too & I enjoyed riding one as a child but current me prefers African elephants. Dogs are my favorite domestic animals. Elephants & dogs are so cute!! they’re absolute angles 🤧 💕 (yes, that spelling is on purpose) Favourite Beverage: Water, I mostly drink water. If I’m feeling adventurous I’ll have coffee (only if I prepare it), chocolate soy milk (from a very specific brand bc I’m picky af with milk) or fruity alcoholic drinks. basically anything that isn’t soda or sparkling waters/juices bc I can’t stand fizzy drinks. Average Hours of Sleep: 7-8 Favourite Fictional Characters: From Hakuouki: Saito, Princess Sen, & Okita. My all time favorite fictional character is Sa Sakujun from my all time favorite anime (and favorite show ever) The Story of Saiunkoku; sadly, the fandom appears to consist of just me and a fly. :/ I developed a fondness for him because of how twisted his mind is (for ref- his role is somewhat similar to kazama’s in hakuouki, but his reasons for doing things are what make his actions different form kazama’s) ...also Sakujun ends up not being a complete ass (but only towards the end) Number of Blankets You Sleep With: I always sleep with at least three comforters because I like the weight of multiple blankets, but it’s started warming up where I live so now I have to sleep with my three blankets + the fan on lol Dream Trip: I don’t have one? I’m planning a trip to vegas for my birthday this year because all my favorite designers are there; I mainly go to vegas for the food and stores. I just rly like shopping lmao. But this doesn’t qualify as a “dream trip” because this is what I do every time I’m there. Blog Created: Barely a month ago! But I’ve been on tumblr since late 2010 or early 2011. I just didn’t want to crowd my personal blog with unrelated posts so I made this blog! This isn’t a sideblog though, I have wholeheartedly devoted this main blog to my beloved Hakuouki. :D (seriously tho, I’ve liked this series since 2012 but back then i only had the anime to watch bc the movies weren’t out yet, the ova wasn’t subbed + i didn’t even know the games existed and the english speaking fandom was mostly non-existent. not 2 b corny but it worms my hort to see how much this series and fandom have grown 🤧 💕 ) Number of followers: on this blog 41

#personal #tag meme #about me #astrology

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weightlossguru-blog1 · 7 years ago

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How to lose weight in a healthy way - part I

First thing first - these are advices strictly on weight loss, they're not meant to help you gain muscle mass and tone yourself up! If you wish to gain muscle mass, lots of my recommendations here are counterproductive. Second - please read these disclaimers.

Who am I writing this for? I should start off by saying that if you're happy with your body shape, I'm happy for you. I admire you! I admire those beautiful curvaceous women who flaunt their bodies proudly and live quality life. I honestly envy them and I have always wanted to be like that. But unfortunately, my mindset wouldn't let me. I've been tought I look bad with extra weight, My weight was scrutinized and mocked my entire life, so I couldn't cope with it anymore. So I'm writing this for the girls out there who don't feel comfortable having an extra weight and seek a change but either don't know how to start it or can't find a will or motivation Why am I writing this? I have basic knowledge on biochemistry, human physiology and metabolism. I also did my research for half an year on the internet, checking up the blogs of professional personal trainers and fitness experts. Combining the learnt information, my intuition and lot's of persistence, I managed to drop 44 lbs in 4 months. How should you read this?

Take everything with a grain of salt! By no means I'm professional trainer or fitness expert, I'm your overly chatty neighbor. This is my experience only. These should be more like guidelines than set in stone rules. Also take into consideration that everyone's body is different.

The bodytypes. People usually fall in one of three body type categories, which you may already know but yet here they are - ectomorph, mesomorph and endomorph. If you're ectomorph you probably dont need my advice on this, because you're naturally skinny. If yoú're endomorph this article won't help you much either. For efficient results you need to arm yourself with lots of patience, lots of it and probably do a specialized bioscreening called vega test and arm with lots of patience. Lots of it.

If you're mesomorph, then you're in the lucky golden mean and you can do pretty much anything to your body. I learn towards a mesomorph, so I can modulate my metabolism quite efficiently. Under right circumstances I lose weight quickly (notable results in less than a week), but on the downside I gain weight even quicker. The actual tips.

1. Prepare your mind and body. So, let's say it's past lunch on whatever date is. Start your journey right now, on this second and don't postpone it! Finish the rest of the day drinking excessive amounts of water and eat a light dinner.

2. Right of the bat cross fizzy drinks, alcohol and sweets off your diet. Fizzy drinks contain empty calories and aggravate the mucous of your stomach and intestines which results in bloating and increased appetite. Same with alcohol.. same with everything, containing refined sugar. Believe me, you won't die without them. Coming from a girl who used to engulf minimum 2 l of Pepsi every day.

3. Good ol' plain water is your new best friend and it does wonders in every weight-loss journey. It boosts the metabolism, no joke. Make sure you're fully hydrated all day, every day. The more water, the better but don't overdo it, because you can stress your kidneys and bladder.

4. Cleansing day. I usually start my regimens (when I get back on them) with this type of days. What I would suggest is spending day 1 on maximum amounts of water and really light food - raw vegetables and fruits. Attain some products with high cellulose content - greeneries as cabbage, kale, broccoli... Since humans cannot break down fibres (cellulose), the fibres stay intact in your intestines, they swell sorta speak, keep you full sorta speak and absorb some bad stuff. What this does in 24 hours is... well, cleanses.Avoid starch containing products for now. (Dont worry, you'll have plenty of them later). Starch containing fruits and vegetables are banana, potatoes, beans, peas, lentils, corn, anything with 'dense' type of texture. hardcore version of this 'cleansing day' is spending the first day entirely on water, but I honestly don't think anyone can manage it. Don't force yourself to it. Don't forget that man's instinct for self preservation is waay stronger than one's desire to lose weight.

If you push your body way beyond its limits, it will retract with a force stronger than your will.

This should be your golden rule from now on! Don't push your body's limits. In that sort of speaking, don't 'cleanse' for more than 1 day! Just don't! Please don't. It's dangerous, you may pass out, you'll feel dizzy and faint or simply you won't be able to do it. You just won't I promise. You'll end up binging and hating yourself, you'll lose hope and quit and then, in few weeks or months, you'll need to start back again. That's why most extreme diets don't work. They go up against the body's instinct. You should listen to your body and not do ANYTHING that makes you feel bad.

Another great thing this cleansing day achieves is it sets your mind and give you inspiration. "I managed to get through one day, I'll manage 90 more" sorta thing. Believe me, when you wake up on day 2, feeling light and depuffed because of this cleansing day, you'll know you're on the right track.

5. Start your second day, and every day afterwards, by drinking two cold cups of water. Actually, make this a habit of yours. What this does is boost your metabolism on the spot. Proceed with your day, eating pro-per-ly!

6. Now first things first, Calories count. Yes honey, they do count. :) In order to lose fat, you need to burn the equivalent of them in kJ, ergo kcal, it's basic thermophysics. You'll lose weight if the total amount of kcal burned exceed the total amount of kcal intake. But, you say, you dont lead an active lifestyle. A piece of breakfast has some kcal and you are already gaining fat?!

7. Don't worry boo, BMR got you. Every living thing has BMR (Basic metabolic rate) - certain amount of calories your body expends while at rest, in order to just ruin your physiology - keep your blood moving, keep your temperature, keep the tone of your muscles, etc. The rate differs, depending on age, sex, height and weight but it should fit around 1400- 1700. You can calculate your BMR online, there are so much options - google “Basic metabolic rate calculator”. Now a pro tip, enter your age, sex, height and GOAL weight and it should compute the BMR of your desired weight. Add 100 or 200 to the number and this new number is your new daily caloric intake. Meaning, if the BMR of your desired weight is 1450 for instance, consume 1600 -1650 kcal in a day. Every day. Don't go above it. See the magic happens :)

8. Now don't be tempted to have your caloric intake at BM rates or below. Please don't do this idiocy. This is extra harsh on your body and slows down your metabolism, ultimately destroying it. You'll be riding on the highway to chronic fatigue, anemia, dangerously low BP and anorexia before you realise it. Most likely you won't survive your regimen for long and end up binging and giving up hope. Don't play games with your own body and health! Any diets, requiring daily intake of lower than 1000 kcal are the devil. Don't play games with your own body and health! Any diets, requiring daily intake of lower than 1000 kcal are the devil.

Reduced, but optimized daily intake of 1600-1700 kcal won’t make you feel like you’re on a diet and you'll be able to go for weeks. Soon results will show up! :)

9. The quality of your intake is also important. Keep an optimized ratio of proteins, fats and carbohydrates for a balanced meal! In order to have a smooth running metabolism, Don't exclude any food group. Dont get it twisted by the names 'fatty acids' and 'carbohydrates', you certainly DO need these in order to be healthy. But there's a difference between good acids and bad acids, good carbohydrates and bad carbohydrates... basically good = natural, bad = processed. Your body has the ability to break down the good sugars of fruit, vegetables and natural starch to monosaccharides. The bad sugars are basically refined sugar and artificial sweets. Stay away from these, they are overly rich in calories and suppress you. You'll feel some abstinence symptoms at first but once you forget the taste of it, you won't mind them even if they're right on the table in front of you. If you crave them really bad, drink a cup of hot chocolate or sweetened coffee. It has lesser calories, and you won't feel bad, cause you've drunk it, not eaten it. It's a mind trick and it helps. Speaking of beverages and sugars - stick to good ol' sweetened (or not) black coffee (or having minimum milk), tea and forget about Starbucks and all that jazz. Caloric bombs right there! As are the freshes. You heard me right, sweetheart, fresh is bad for weight loss. It strips down the fruits of all their precious fibers and gives you pure... liquidized... sugar. Caloric bomb. (Unless you plan to have it instead of a meal, which I don't recommend ) . Now on the 'abominable' fatty acids. Don't mistake dietary fats for body fats! The fats in your diet don't turn up on your tush, no compound have this superpower. :) If you want an explanation on HOW you gain parietal fat, ask and you shall receive. I won't be including this here, because this article is already going for too long.

Good fatty acids are the natural ones - mono and polyunsaturated fats, omega 3 and 6, you'll find in nuts, fish, some 'fatty' fruits and vegetables as avocado, coconut, olives, . you... you know that buttery feeling.

Butter and dairy products, on another hand is rich on saturated fatty acids. They are labeled bad, but they tend to fill you up quickly, and due to that, I don't forsake them, but I tend to tread slightly around these products. (I love my dairy). tend to fill you up quickly and due to Things go wrong, when we process the fats - they turn into transgenic, which are cancer! Therefore, people, don't eat fried food or keep it at bare minimum.

Guys...

I plan on ending this here. Next time, I'm going to talk more about how to use food in your advantage, when and how to ... mimic exercising. (because let's face it - for a type of girl that needs weight loss, exercising is hideous.)

Thank you for reading! If you have any questions, talk to me :) I dont have any credits to give off for the information, because it was all memorized inside my smart head 8-]! But if you quote this, please don't forget to credit me by the url ^.^ see ya next time

xoxoxo,

Sunday

#weight #weight loss #losing weight #healthy weight loss #weight loss guide #weightlossguru

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restoringbalance8-blog · 7 years ago

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Hormones. Part One.

Many of my high school years were mislead by a particular YouTuber called FreeLee the Banana Girl. Her mantra, basically, was that fat makes you fat because it is ‘fat’, and that we should all #carbthefuckup in order to lose weight. 90-95% carbs, and 5-10% fat/protein. She also said that when you're on a high carb vegan diet that you could eat as many calories you want and stay trim.

Her toned physique caused many people to believe her theory was true. However, what she did not point out was that she was cycling almost all day and every day, and this is probably why she could eat as many carbs and calories as she wanted without gaining weight. The reality is that many people who don’t earn a living off YouTube (AKA 99.99999% of us) have sedentary lifestyles: sitting at school/university, at work, or at home. So, when I tried this carbthefuckup diet in year 11, I was hungry all the time (carbs-personally- do NOT fill me up), went to the bathroom like crazy, and I put on a lot of weight (just to the point of chubby).

When I finally realised this diet was unrealistic, I started to incorporate more fats and protein (tofu, nut butters, olive oil, beans, etc.) and I dropped the weight easily. It has taken me since year 11 (so, like 3 years) to realise that fats will NOT make you fat. It is misleading because ‘fats’and ‘fat’ share the same word. Most of us still believe that low-fat yoghurts and low-fat milks and low-fat potato chips are healthier than full fat, but this is not the case!

Here are some statistics. Since 1990, we have increased out intake of carbohydrates by 40% Since 1990, obesity has increased by 30%

Furthermore, there has been a four-fold increase in financial claims to do with psychiatric health issues since 1991.

This is why statistics at school was important, guys. Do these statistics exhibit causation or correlation? Has the western world’s increase in carbohydrates caused an increase in obesity? Has the increase in carbohydrates (especially refined), contributed to the significant rise in mental illness? I ask you to challenge every fact I present to you in this blog post and think critically about the information you take on board. I will go into the science that made me understand and believe why fats do not make you fat, but sugar does. But, please do your own research and form your own beliefs. Yes, science is meant to be true, but it does not become REAL until you make it your own.

The low-fat diet was really popular in the 1990s and 2000s, but is becoming less and less popular as things like avocado and nut butters have become trendy health foods.

And, people (including me!) are now starting to realise that SUGAR is the devil, not FAT.

I only read the following fact last week, and it has shaken me and kind of bothered me.

40% of weight gain or loss is to do with calories.

The rest is dependent on hormones.

Sugar releases a hormone called insulin.

Insulin tells the brain to store energy (from calories) as fat.

Refined sugar and refined grains like cornflakes have very high glycemic indices (GI) which mean that the spike in blood sugar and insulin is very high. Fun fact... actually not that fun because cornflakes are yum... but cornflakes have a higher GI than white sugar. This means you’re better off eating a bowl of white sugar than cornflakes for breakfast :oooooo

Fat, as far as my research has shown, does not release insulin. Sure, if you eat way too many calories in nuts and avocado you will put on weight. But, if you eat blood-spiking sugar (see picture below), the brain will respond by telling your body to store the calories from both the food you have just eaten. This is why Timtams, are known as a “fat bomb”- the refined sugar spikes blood sugar causing the release of insulin, which then tells the brain to store both the calories from the sugar AND the fat from the TimTam.

Now, please don’t let this scare you from eating carbohydrates. Don’t even let this scare you from combining fats with sugars. In fact, eating healthy fats and proteins with carbohydrates helps regulate the blood sugar spike, meaning less insulin and less fat storage.

There are many good and very healthy carbohydrates that you should definitely eat! Especially before and after a workout or tiring day or whenever you feel like them! Some of these include:

Cold potatoes (by cooling, the potato membrane structure changes so that it doesn’t metabolise as glucose.... or something like that- I can’t really remember. All I know that cold potatoes are better than hot, so don’t fear from that cold potato salad xo) Kumara & Pumpkin and virtually any vegetable you can possibly think of Fruit- berries, apples, grapefruit, and some more all have low Glycemic Indices. But still eat that banana because bananas are yum and they have good fibre, iron and potassium. AND they’re a million times better than a caramel slice! Oats Legumes-chickpeas, lentils, etc. Brown rice (or basmati rice as a healthier white rice option). But best to eat normal white rice in MODERATION as it has a relatively high GI.

There are plenty more! But do your research and eat what feels best for you. If you are hungry 10 minutes after eating that slice of bread, then it probably spiked your blood sugar and left you feeling hungry, etc, etc. If you feel amazing and content after eating that banana, then fucking eat it! Everyone is different and has different DNA codes so it’s impossible to make a one-rule for all. Just think about how different the colours are of a black person and white person! The same internally! Bananas may love one person’s body, and not love another person’s body as much. So, pretty much, just eat what makes YOU feel good. Even though this new information has really bothered me and made me really nervous about what I’m eating and what kind of GI it has, I think at the end of the day, as long as you eat more veggies in your diet, then you’re doing amazing. There is really nothing wrong with veggies. And soak em up in some coconut cream and curry powder! Yummmm.

The main thing we should all stay away from as much as possible is refined sugar and refined grains (I’m looking at YOU Midnight Cake... with your devilish white flour and sugar...grr) Once in a while is fine, but definitely consume that tomato sauce (soooo high in sugar omg) you’re having with your kumara fries less, or that fizzy drink you’re having with your curry.

Actually, there is a new tomato sauce by Real Foods that has no refined sugar and sweetened naturally. I am yet to buy it, but I believe it is sold at most New World’s.

Anyway, I hope this post was informative. It is in no way meant to scare you, but I personally believe knowledge is power, and the more power and control we have over our own bodies and mental health then the better our lives shall be. Knowing why our body feels a certain way after eating something, will hopefully help us lead healthier lives.

I haven’t really touched on the mental health side of things and how sugar and refined carbs could affect your wellbeing but that is another long post in itself. And I need to get some sleep soon.

My next post on hormones will be related to female hormones and how we should nourish and look after our finely tuned bodies. This is still a fairly new topic for me, but let's just say that I am currently trialling a new exercise regime. I’m like my own science experiment. Lol. I’m so nerdy.

Thanks for reading and go hard on that coconut yoghurt and those brazil nuts!!

Much love

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sunshinenby · 8 years ago

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I was tagged by @honeyvevo ( Thank You and I’m sorry I’m so late with this :(()

Rules : Tag nine people you want to get to know better.

Relationship Status : Single

Favorite Color : Black

Lipstick or Chapstick : Idk

Last Song I Listened to : Monsta X - Oi

Last Movie : Where the Devil Hides

Top 3 TV Shows : 1. The Walking Dead 2. Teen Wolf 3. Riverdale

Top 3 Characters : There’s too many characters I like, so I will write favourite character from my Top 3 TV Shows: The Walking Dead - Rick/Daryl/Jesus (lol, I can’t choose only one:”) ), Teen Wolf - Stiles, Riverdale - Jughead

Top 3 Ships : Also, I have too many ships XD so maybe I’ll just write my first ship ever: Sadreel (Sam/Gadreel from Supernatural)

Books I’m Currently Reading : I have so many books I started to read but I didn’t finish, but right now (see what did I do here?) I think I’ll finish The Walking Dead: The Road to Woodbury

20 questions tag!

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better!

Name: Anna

Nicknames: Anja

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Height: 172 cm

Orientation: with map? I think it’s good (sorry, I’m trying to be funny and I know I’m not)

Ethnicity: Polish

Favorite Fruit: Pear

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Book: The Walking Dead series

Favorite Flower: Cacti with flowers (sorry, I love cacti so much :”) )

Favorite Scent: The smell after rain

Favorite Colour: Black

Favorite Animal: Everyone

Favorite Beverage: Coffee, juices, fizzy drinks

Average Sleep Hours: 6 hours I think

Favorite Fictional Character: Idk, I love Han Solo and Indiana Jones too and I didn’t mention them yet

Number of blankets you sleep with: 1

Dream Trip: To Bosnia and Herzegovina, to Korea

Blog Created: I think it was about 3,5 years ago

Number of Followers: 103

I’m gonna tag (you can pick any tag from the two above or none obviously it’s up to you♥) @communist-ghost, @buckbarnass, @sarascorner, @angrypeacemaker, @will-wait-4-you, @puppywithwetnose @theoffiicialpimp, @hellocrystalsoul, @-nicolezz-, but You don’t have to do it if You don’t want to <3

#i'm sorry it took so long

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chriskarrtravelblog · 4 years ago

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Tea with a twist

Once the current crisis is over, why not treat yourself to a slap-up afternoon tea in one of London’s grand hotels? For a fresh and quirky take on tradition, try one of these themed afternoon teas

For many, partaking in the wonderfully decadent tradition of afternoon tea is a must when in London. Such is the demand that hotels and restaurants have upped their game in recent years, coming up with ever more outlandish themes to evolve their offering from a teatime treat to an experience to remember.

In the name of research we’ve sipped tea and sampled scones at top tea venues across the capital. Here is our selection of London’s quirkiest cuppas.

Mad Hatter’s tea, Sanderson

Sanderson hotel, with its out-there Philippe Stark interiors, has always been quirky – and its afternoon tea, served in the courtyard garden, is as whimsical as they come: Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland provides the inspiration for a wildly imaginative afternoon tea.

Menus are hidden inside vintage books, teapots adorned with kings and queens, and sandwich plates feature ticking clocks. The menu includes outré offerings such as a ‘Drink me’ potion of exotic fruits, a chocolate and pistachio Blue Caterpillar, Queen of Hearts rose and strawberry Jammy Dodgers and a Mad March Hare vanilla pocket-watch macaroon; all curious concoctions, but traditionalists will be pleased to note that scones and jam are also on the menu.

Wash it all down with Alice-inspired tea infusions and a glass of champagne, for Cheshire Cat grins all round.

From £48. 50 Berners St, Fitzrovia

London Landmarks tea, Town House at The Kensington

Taking their cue from the capital’s iconic landmarks, Town House at The Kensington offer a sweet homage to the city’s skyline. Tea is served in an elegant salon, warmed by a roaring fire in winter. Each table has a stunning centrepiece: a London Eye-inspired tea stand, its tiers decked with a skyline of sweets, sandwiches and scones.

Tempting though the cakes are, tradition dictates that you start with the savouries, and these are a cut above, with a stilton and broccoli quiche, mini steak and London ale pie and crab cake, alongside an array of sandwiches.

But it’s the sweets that steal the show: a white chocolate Gherkin filled with dark chocolate ganache, a carrot cake Shard, the classic red telephone box made of rhubarb jelly, and a lemon curd tart Big Ben.

After nibbling on these mini-masterpieces, you can visit their full-size counterparts: guests are given an illustrated map of the city to take home.

From £42. 109-113 Queen’s Gate, Kensington

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tea, One Aldwych

In Roald Dahl’s children’s classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the sweet-toothed hero finds a Golden Ticket and is granted access to Willy Wonka’s factory of delights. The recently remodelled One Aldwych hotel, in the heart of Theatreland, recreates the magic with a scrumdiddlyumptious slap-up tea.

Proceedings begin with savouries such as meal-in-marshmallows and a not-quite-as-it-seems salmon and beetroot macaron. Save room, though, for the main event: a parade of Wonka-worthy cakes, from whipple-scrumptious red velvet cake pops and lemon candyfloss to scones with snozzberry jam.

Drinks are as delightfully bonkers as the food – minty chocolate milk mixed by waterfall; chocolate or lemon sherbet tea; Swimming Pool Fizz or Pistol Punch cocktails, or fizzy lifting Champagne. Looking for a tea with a touch of magic? This is just the (golden) ticket.

From £45. 1 Aldwych, Covent Garden

Saint and Sinner tea, L’oscar

Credit: Jean Cazals

Be sure to work up an appetite before tackling afternoon tea at the L’Oscar hotel – perhaps with a few laps of the nearby British Museum, or a stroll through the garden squares of Bloomsbury.

Chef Tony Fleming has had some fun with his Saint and Sinner menu – a nod to the hotel’s setting in a former Baptist church: a sticky apple tart – Adam and Eve’s pudding – is topped with an icing sugar serpent, while the gooey chocolate Devil’s Food Cake has horns and a tail. Saints can choose from a variety of exotic teas, while sinners can opt for tea-infused cocktails.

The richness of the food is matched by the opulence of the hotel café. Deep purple banquettes, dark walls with gilded accents, a mirrored ceiling and warm light filtering through glass and translucent stone complement the baroque-style architecture and evoke Venetian cafés. A suitably sumptuous setting for a properly indulgent afternoon.

From £38. 2-6 Southampton Row, Holborn

Seasonal tea, Dalloway Terrace

Dalloway Terrace at the Bloomsbury Hotel must be London’s most-photographed restaurant terrace: the hashtag #dallowayterrace has almost 11,000 Instagram posts at the time of writing. Its secret? A fabulous nature-inspired backdrop that’s almost an art installation in itself. The display changes seasonally, as does the afternoon tea, which is themed to match the installation.

Visit in winter and you might find yourself in an alpine forest, the foliage dusted with snow, and cheesecake fondue and a Swiss chocolate snow-coated pine tree on the menu. In spring, the terrace might be covered with a lush jungle canopy woven with fuchsia orchids and passionflowers. In summer, botanical blooms make a pretty backdrop to flower-themed cakes; while autumn is celebrated with flame-coloured foliage and treats such as “conkers on a string” (chestnut and milk chocolate cream). It’s pretty as a picture at any time of year; selfie obligatory.

From £40. 16-22 Great Russell St, Bloomsbury

NY-Tea, Balthazar

Balthazar has been a staple of the London restaurant scene since opening in Covent Garden to wild reviews in 2013. Its all-day French bistro menu and buzzy atmosphere continue to pull in punters looking for a memorable dining experience in the heart of theatreland.

Their ‘NY-Tea’ pays homage to the original Balthazar in Manhattan, introducing some all-American flavours alongside familiar British afternoon tea favourites.

A pastrami brioche accompanies the more classically British sandwich selection, but it’s the cakes and pastries that really evoke the spirit of the Big Apple. A bittersweet key lime pie, moreish cookies ‘n’ cream tart and – our favourite – the ‘Liberty’ peanut butter and apricot eclair are all beautiful to look at and even better to eat. Wash down the cakes with a selection of teas, and finish with ‘The Yankie’, a sweet cocktail of bourbon and champagne. Yee-haa!

From £29.95. 4-6 Russell St, Covent Garden

Science tea, the Ampersand Hotel

The Ampersand Hotel is a mere scone’s throw from London’s Science and Natural History museums, so it’s no wonder that the hotel used its neighbours as inspiration for a themed afternoon tea. The room – part English drawing room, part French salon – is relaxed and a touch quirky: the perfect setting for an unconventional tea.

Dust for mini dinosaur biscuit ‘fossils’ hidden beneath chocolate soil; sample orange and lemon half-moon cakes alongside milk chocolate spacemen; and tuck into an out-of-this-world caramel and passionfruit ‘planet’ mousse. Well-chosen props – lab beakers, petri dishes, test tubes – and special effects such as smoking teapots add to the fun.

The Teapot Tails menu offers a tipsy alternative, with curious cocktails such as the Marie Cure-All, a mix of Genmaicha-infused rum with Aperol, vermouth and Amer Picon, to fuel your voyage of discovery.

From £39.50. 10 Harrington Rd, South Kensington

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wineanddinosaur · 5 years ago

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The 35 Most Important Breweries of the Decade (2010s)

Beer runs on a different timeline than other beverages. In wine years, a decade is a fraction of a family-owned vineyard’s story. The same period is barely enough time to age a decent bourbon. But in the last 10 years, beer — craft beer, especially — has undergone seismic shifts.

A once-singularly flavored fizzy beverage became a movement. The product itself aimed for more: more flavor, more experimentation, and more community-minded business practices. It also became more than a beverage, as craft beer drinkers rallied around beer as a moral and political choice.

Since 2010, beer has quenched our thirst and become part of our personal identities. And like all of us, it’s constantly changing. The beginning of the decade brought us Hill Farmstead Brewery, Tired Hands, and Tree House, and with them came the advent of the New England-style IPA. We’ve seen the return of centuries-old forgotten styles like gose and gruit, and brewers tirade against, then excessively embrace, adjuncts in the form of milkshake IPAs and pastry stouts.

In 2010, there were 1,759 breweries operating in the U.S. “Beer lovers increased their appreciation for American craft brewers and their beers in 2010,” Paul Gatza of the Brewers Association said in a press release at the time. “Craft brewers’ stories resonate with Americans who are choosing small, independent companies making delicious beers in more than 100 different styles.”

There are nearly 7,500 breweries operating in the U.S. today. Of course, not all of them can change the course of craft beer history. For that, we tip our hats to the breweries below: the 35 most important breweries of the decade.

Sierra Nevada Brewing Chico, Calif. Est. 1980

It’s hard to believe Sierra Nevada was around long before many craft beer fans were born. Sierra Nevada pioneered hop-forward ales with its flagship Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and with the invention of an enviable dry-hopping mechanism called the Hop Torpedo that many other brewers have envied and copied. In 2014, Sierra Nevada opened an East Coast facility in Mills River, N.C., near Asheville, signaling to similar brands that East Coast drinkers deserved better, fresher beer. In 2016, that location became the first Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) Platinum status-certified production brewery in the U.S., showing Sierra Nevada’s sustainability leadership, too. This legacy brand continues to innovate with beers like Hazy Little Thing IPA, ranked by VinePair as the best beer of 2018.

Bell’s Brewery Comstock, Mich. Est. 1985

The same year Coca-Cola introduced New Coke and CDs were invented, Bell’s Brewery opened its doors in Kalamazoo, Mich. Along with being one of few breweries to make a sought-after brown ale, Bell’s has an almost mystical ability to stay on top. While millennial beer geeks wade through countless lactose-laden hazy IPAs, Bell’s Brewery’s Two Hearted Ale (“ale!” — it wasn’t even called an IPA!) continues to dominate more experienced beer lovers’ lists. In 2019, the American Homebrewers Association (AHA) ranked Two Hearted Ale the No. 1 beer in the country for a third consecutive year. Bell’s Brewery’s Hopslam Ale (again, “ale!”) placed seventh, and Bell’s Brewery as a whole was named the best brewery.

Deschutes Brewery Bend, Ore. Est. 1988

Although few people pronounce its name correctly, Deschutes (Da Shootz!) is the epitome of old-school cool. Its flagship beer is a porter (Black Butte). It’s majority-owned by its original founder, Gary Fish, and his family, and announced an employee stock ownership plan (ESOP) in 2013. (This means employees can gain company shares correlating to their time working with the company.) It won sustainability awards in 2015 and 2016. And, after reevaluating plans to expand to the East Coast, it’s stayed afloat in the most treacherous time for brands of its size.

New Belgium Brewing Fort Collins, Colo. Est. 1991

Though it sold to Japan’s Kirin brewery in 2019 (and, at press time, is in the midst of a seriously disturbing controversy), New Belgium blossomed in the 2010s. Fat Tire grabbed beer drinkers’ attention in the 1990s, yet the amber ale didn’t even hint at what was to come. New Belgium went on to run one of the country’s best sour beer programs; a money-making series of Voodoo Ranger IPAs; and in 2019, it brought us Mural Agua Fresca, one of the most refreshing beers we’ve tasted to date.

Lagunitas Brewing Company Placentia, Calif. Est. 1993

Before it sold to Heineken in 2015, Lagunitas was associated with weed culture and California love (although its founder and some of its beer originate in Chicago). Yet “sellout” or not, Lagunitas IPA is still one of the most reliable IPAs on tap across the nation. If there’s a slim list at a dive bar, chances are Lagunitas will be on it, and we’ll take it over other mass-produced IPAs any day.

Left Hand Brewing Longmont, Colo. Est. 1993

Left Hand gave us Milk Stout right before the new millennium. In 2011, it gave us the gift of Milk Stout Nitro in bottles. Then, in 2017, Milk Stout Nitro became available in cans. Now nitro beers are everywhere, and we have Left Hand to thank for that.

Avery Brewing Boulder, Colo. Est. 1993

Avery is a brand that you may not realize you’re fond of until you think about the impact it’s had on your life. An early arrival to the U.S. craft brewing scene, it still makes one of the best American wheat beers, White Rascal. Its barrel-aged program occasionally wows us with labels like Bon Bon Cerise, one of our favorite pastry stouts and beers of the year. It also makes concerted efforts to keep up with the times, with its on-trend Hazyish IPA and Avery Rocky Mountain Rosé.

Allagash Brewing Portland, Maine Est. 1994

Not many breweries can claim their first beer remains their top seller 25 years later — an especially impressive feat when that beer was initially rejected. “People hadn’t seen cloudy beer like this with authentic Belgian yeast strains and spice,” Rob Tod, Allagash founder, told VinePair about Allagash White. “The downside was that it was impossible to sell.”

With skill and perseverance, Allagash became the first to plant its flag in Portland, Maine as one of the best beercation destinations in the country. Beyond that, it was the first American brewery to incorporate a coolship into its fermentation process (courtesy some mentorship at Cantillon), going on to make some of the best mixed-fermentation beers in the States. And in 2019, Tod won the James Beard Award for Outstanding Wine, Spirits, or Beer Producer.

The brewer’s River Trip Belgian-style session ale was named VinePair’s best beer of 2019.

Dogfish Head Craft Brewery Milton, Del. Est. 1995

“Off-centered ales for off-centered people,” Dogfish Head’s company ethos, may sound trite in the upcoming decade. But in the ‘90s and through the 2010s, it was meaningful for many craft beer drinkers. Dogfish Head has stayed relevant through two and a half decades with its friendly attitude, constant flavor experimentation, and the crusading of charismatic frontman and founder, Sam Calagione. In 2016, Dogfish Head launched SeaQuench, it’s deliciously thirst-quenching tart ale that’s become the best-selling sour beer in the nation. And in 2017, Calagione was honored with a James Beard Award as the Outstanding Wine, Spirits or Beer Professional of the Year after seven consecutive nominations.

In one of the biggest beer news stories of the year (and perhaps even decade), Dogfish Head merged with Boston Beer Co. in 2019. This means more of the country will have access to the beers that we’ve enjoyed all these years.

Ballast Point San Diego, Calif. Est. 1996

Ballast Point has had one of the biggest splashes in the craft beer world over the last decade. First, fans freaked out over Sculpin IPA (it tasted like grapefruit!); then were shocked even more by its series of fruit flavors (it’s made with grapefruit!?). Ballast Point continued to surprise us, selling to Constellation Brands for a jaw-dropping $1 billion in 2015. It even opened a location in Disneyland. Out of what seemed like nowhere, in November 2019, Ballast Point changed hands from Constellation to the virtually unknown Kings and Convicts Brewing Co. outside Chicago. Although its future is hazy, we’ll never forget the effect this brand had on the decade.

Firestone Walker Brewing Company Paso Robles, Calif. Est. 1996

Firestone Walker started strong and saw success throughout the decade with its array of award-winning IPAs, such as its multiple-medaling Union Jack IPA. Meanwhile, it rocked out fruited sours and lagers, too. In 2015, Firestone Walker was acquired by Duvel, a stellar Belgian brewer, and the following year, Firestone Walker opened a pilot brewery and restaurant in Venice, Calif., and broke ground on another major brewhouse expansion in Paso Robles, completed in 2017. In 2019, Firestone Walker won our hearts with Rosalie, a rose-colored beer co-fermented with juice from local Paso Robles wine grapes and hibiscus — “the rosé lover’s beer,” brewmaster Matt Brynildson said. We’re excited to see what’s coming next.

Stone Brewing Escondido, Calif. Est. 1996

Arrogant by design, Stone Brewing based its business on in-your-face branding. As much as this can be irritating, there’s no denying Stone’s American-made success.

Three Floyds Brewing Munster, Ind. Est. 1996

We can sum up Three Floyds in three words: Dark Lord Day. An unpretentious brewery in the unlikely town of Munster, Ind., brought together the craft beer and heavy metal worlds, while also introducing one of the first beer release day festivals for its Dark Lord “demonic Russian-Style Imperial Stout” — an event that has attracted up to 10,000 visitors in one day. Epitomizing extremes, Three Floyds is equally revered for its in-your-face Zombie Dust IPA.

Victory Brewing Company Downingtown, Pa. Est. 1996

Golden Monkey. Hop Devil. Prima Pils! If you weren’t drinking these three brands in the 2010s, you weren’t drinking craft beer. Bill Covaleski and Ron Barchet opened Victory’s doors in 1996 to celebrate and recreate German and other European brewing traditions. They introduced much more than that. In 2014, Victory opened its production facility in Parkesburg, Pa., from where it continues to innovate, distributing its beers in 33 states across the U.S.

Russian River Brewing Santa Rosa, Calif. Est. 1997

Rare as it may be to actually drink Russian River’s beer — you’ll be hard-pressed to find its famous Pliny the Elder, Pliny the Younger, or other brands outside the brewery locations — there’s no denying these beers have consistently been part of the craft beer conversation over the last decade and more. In 2018, Pliny the Younger’s release brought 12,500 visitors to Sonoma County, generating $3.4 million.

Russian River’s history has been told again and again, but the brand and its friendly-faced owners (husband-and-wife duo, Vinnie and Natalie Cilurzo) are still out there creating new beer experiences and helping the community in every way they can.

Founders Brewing Grand Rapids, Mich. Est. 1997

It’s impossible to ignore the influence Founders has had on the craft beer business. Sadly, this took a turn for the worse with the brewery’s recent racism issue and lawsuit outweighing our ability to support the brand. For more on this topic, read our coverage here.

But before it made national news for its flawed business practices, Founders changed the way we drink beer. In 2011, it launched All Day IPA, effectively creating the session IPA category and influencing countless spin-offs and light-in-alcohol, full-flavored ales. This trend continues to surge today. In 2013, Founders introduced the 15-pack of All Day IPA, setting another trend in the industry.

Live Oak Brewing Austin, Texas Est. 1997

Austin is one of the best places in the country to drink lager. And though that’s largely due to its German and Czech immigrant history, in modern times it was Live Oak that led the pack of what’s now become one of the best cities for craft lager in the country.

The Alchemist Stowe, Vt. Est. 2003

The Alchemist is not only one of the pivotal members of the beer industry, but of the entire drinks industry this decade. The family-owned brand launched in 2003 by John and Jen Kimmich introduced its legendary limited-release Heady Topper Double IPA in 2011. IPAs, and the industry, have never been the same.

Toppling Goliath Decorah, Iowa Est. 2007

In 2015, VinePair named Toppling Goliath the best brewery in its state. In 2016, RateBeer (pre-ZX Ventures) ranked Toppling Goliath’s Pompeii IPA the top IPA in the state. And in 2019, VinePair ranked King Sue DIPA among the 25 most important IPAs right now. Clearly, this brewery tops beer nerds’ bucket lists again and again.

Cigar City Brewing Tampa, Fla. Est. 2007

Cigar City was founded in 2007, started producing beer in Tampa in 2009, and sold to the CANarchy Craft Brewery Collective in 2016. One of the top 10 craft breweries in the country by volume, Cigar City was the fastest-growing top 50 brewery in 2018, according to the Brewers Association. Additionally, its Jai Alai IPA is one of the country’s top-selling beers; its Maduro Brown Ale won a Great American Beer Festival gold medal in 2018; and its Hunahpu imperial stout has its own festival.

Cigar City started strong and has only gotten stronger. The tropical-themed brewery continues to release new brands we love, including its Guayabera Pale Ale in 2019.

Revolution Brewing Chicago, Ill. Est. 2008

Chicago has lots of beloved breweries, but by far and away Revolution has had the biggest impact on the craft beer business there, serving as a blueprint for some of our other favorite brands. By the end of 2018, Revolution’s home of Chicago had more breweries than any other U.S. city. Along with being one of the first, it’s now the largest independent brewery in Illinois.

Maine Beer Co. Freeport, Maine Est. 2009

Credit: MaineBeerCompany.com

“Do what’s right.” Any East Coast beer nerd has seen and heard this phrase many times over — coming from Maine Beer Co., it never gets old. That’s because Maine Beer Co. has proven it’s not just a phrase, but the brewery’s truth. Opened at the cusp of the decade in 2009, Maine launched with one beer, Peeper, a pale ale brewed and bottled by hand. By 2013, the brewery relocated from its original Portland location to Freeport, Maine, where it now projects to surpass 20,000 barrels of beer in 2019.

Maine Beer Co. is committed to its employees and the environment. Learn more in our interview with Maine Beer Co. founder Dan Kleban here.

Jester King Brewery Austin, Texas Est. 2010

While Austin is pumping out some of the best lagers in the country from brewers like Live Oak and Austin Beer Garden Brewing Co. (the ABGB), what sticks out most in the city’s, and state’s, beer scene is the overwhelming charm of Jester King. Set on a 200-acre ranch outside Austin, it brings the term “farmhouse ales” to life with its stunning property, estate-grown and locally sourced ingredients, and commitment to mixed-fermentation and wild yeast. If you haven’t tasted one of Jester King’s oak-aged, spontaneously fermented and secondary-bottle-fermented beers, you haven’t lived your best beer-loving life.

Hill Farmstead Brewery Greensboro Bend, Vt. Est. 2010

“Elusive” is an understatement when it comes to Hill Farmstead and its beers. The Vermont farmhouse brewery, one of the first and few actually located on a farm, became a household name among craft beer drinkers of this decade. Its delicate, perfectly balanced beers — Susan IPA, Edward Pale Ale, Everett Porter, all named after founder and brewer Shaun Hill’s family members — are stunning in their subtlety. Each is as pleasant an experience as it always has been every time we drink it.

Westbrook Brewing Mt. Pleasant, S.C. Est. 2010

Opened nine years ago to the day (Dec. 20, 2010), this South Carolina brewery simultaneously delighted our senses with its Mexican Cake imperial stout — made with habaneros, cinnamon, vanilla, and cocoa nibs — and introduced the nearly extinct German gose to craft beer drinkers around the country. We tip our hats to Westbrook now and always.

Tired Hands Brewery Ardmore, Pa. Est. 2011

As VinePair reported last year, since opening its doors to its first brewery-cafe in 2012, Tired Hands has innovated IPA styles, invested in its local communities, and launched mid-Atlantic brewing careers. All this occurred while its beers remained extremely difficult to buy — unless you were willing to wait hours in line. In 2015, Tired Hands opened Fermentaria, a brewery and restaurant two blocks from its original location. The exponentially expanding brewery announced its first Philadelphia location in 2019.

Tree House Brewing Monson, Mass. Est. 2011

Juice smoothies and beer were rarely associated before Tree House Brewing released Julius. The NEIPA has a 100 percent rating on BeerAdvocate with nearly 5,000 votes, and is arguably unanimously understood to be the ultimate juicy and hazy IPA. Julius’s many iterations — along with those of companion brands Green and Haze — remain among the most sought-after beers in the nation.

Prairie Artisan Ales Krebs, Okla. Est. 2012

Prairie gave us pastry stouts. BOMB!, an explosion of flavor and excitement, enlightened our palates with baking-spiced decadence. Now there are hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of pastry stouts released on a regular basis in the U.S. How this tiny brewery became so famous for its tasty treats is a mystery we don’t need to solve.

Wicked Weed Asheville, N.C. Est. 2012

American wild ales weren’t common craft beer lexicon until breweries such as Wicked Weed devoted themselves to creating them. Although the brewery was bought by AB InBev just five years after it opened, and faced a heavy dose of backlash from die-hard fans, it’s still kicking.

Modern Times Beer San Diego, Calif. Est. 2013

Modern Times Beer, a relative newcomer, made a name for itself with its West Coast (not West Coast-style) hazy IPAs. It was one of the first to bring hazies to the West Coast, but also excels in other styles, including one of our favorite (and under-hyped) beers, Blazing World, a hoppy amber ale. In a few short years, Modern Times grew from hype brewery to one of the top 50 craft brewing companies in 2018. The San Diego-based brand now has locations in Point Loma, North Park, Los Angeles, and Encinitas, Calif., and Portland, Ore.

Trillium Brewing Company Boston, Mass. Est. 2013

Where would the beer world be without Trillium? This ultra-collectable brand launched in 2013. By 2016, citizen beer reviewers ranked it one of the top 10 breweries in the world. And one could only procure its juicy brews in Massachusetts. Trillium is perhaps one of the biggest Boston beer success story since, well, Boston Beer. Synonymous with NEIPA, the brewery ranked among our 25 Most Important IPAs Right Now, and in our 50 Best Beers of 2019.

Grimm Artisanal Ales Brooklyn, N.Y. Est. 2013

Gypsy brewers Joe and Lauren Grimm officially started selling beer in July 2013. Although they wouldn’t open a bona fide brewery until five years later, the brewers and brand have been deeply ingrained in the NYC beer community. The savvy artisans put packaging on a pedestal, but made sure it was the inside that counts, releasing a constant, if limited supply of excellent IPAs and sour beers. It’s a strategy that has since been mimicked by many.

Other Half Brewing Brooklyn, N.Y. Est. 2014

We’ll never forget our first sips of Other Half IPA, an aromatic hop bomb that wasn’t too bitter. What stood out to us at small beer events five years ago (has it really only been five years?) eventually earned the attention of DDH DIPA cognoscenti at large, especially as Other Half collaborated with brand after brand around the country and world.

In a few short years, Other Half has gutted and renovated its Brooklyn location, opened a second location near one of New York’s up-and-coming beer cities, Rochester, and whispered plans to launch locations in Williamsburg, Brooklyn as well as Washington, D.C.

Other Half, can culture, and boss pours will be forever linked. The niche brewery’s unprecedented success has been an inspiration to brewers across the country and a point of pride for NYC beer drinkers.

Creature Comforts Brewing Co. Athens, Ga. Est. 2014

When beer lovers hear “Athens,” it’s likely they think of Creature Comforts and its popular Tropicalia juicy IPA. Yet the brand does more than brew delicious beers inspired by Brazilian arts movements. Between 2016 and 2017, its Get Comfortable campaign, a fundraising effort benefiting Athens-area nonprofits, generated more than $121,000. In 2018, Creature Comforts launched Get Artistic, a nonprofit community outreach program. And from its 2,000 barrels of beer production in 2014, it’s grown to a capacity of 50,000 barrels in 2018.

WeldWerks Brewing Greeley, Colo. Est. 2015

WeldWerks put Greeley, Colo., on the map with its juicy IPAs in 2015. It’s also a bastion of experimentation, whetting an appetite we didn’t know we had for things like pastry sours. With this, WeldWerks earned a spot on our 50 best beers of 2019. Some call it sacrilege, but we call it liquid entertainment. WeldWerks knows how to execute excellent brews, and they know how to have fun, too. What better way to finish out this ridiculous decade than with a peanut-butter-and-jelly-flavored Berliner weiss?

The article The 35 Most Important Breweries of the Decade (2010s) appeared first on VinePair.

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