#fix the system or lower your expectations… a lot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

potatomountain · 9 days ago

Text

The Other Zone

🌀Pairing: Yunho x fem!reader (feat. other idols) 🌀WC: 13,431 🌀AU: multiverse, ?? to lovers, with some OZ, stranger things, and beauty and the beast dynamics 🌀Genre: phycological thriller, dark romance 🌀Summary: With barely an identity, and a lot of missing time, you signed your life away for answers. Just to untangle a web of mystery between this world, and another, second guessing who is the villain, and who is the hero, wondering if you could possibly make it right somehow. 🌀Warnings: cnc/dubcon, graphic depictions of mutilation and murder, implications of experiments, drugs, one stab, bloody scenes. Smut warnings: huge cock Yunho, mxm and mentions of poly, mutual masturabation. Fingering, choking, slight clit slapping, dacryphilia, slight blood play, squirting, creampie, stomach bulge, strength play, angryish sex 🌀AN: for the YOTV: Year of the Snake collab hosted by @sanjoongie. ngl not as dark as i wanted but my favorite horror genre is the one where its just one big puzzle to figure out filled with all sorts of twists and turns. It's a genre I want to be good in, thus why I wanted to go this route. 🌀Big thanks to Sangjoongie for inviting me to this collab and betaing for half of it. And a big thanks to @bunnliix for beta! honorary tags of @adelusionforyourthoughts and @yourfatherlucifer and for the other amazing writers in the YOTV collab. You've all been a big help with this <3 Please read at your own risk. Minors/ageless blogs will be immediately blocked if you interact!

Signing away your life was perhaps the easiest decision you had ever made. No matter how many times you looked over the contract, it was pretty cut and dry and simple. An experimental test that had the potential to fix your biggest problems yet: Poverty, and the unexplained missing time in your memory.

For as long as you could remember, you had been alone. No family to support you, found alone in the slums and then put into foster care. There would be hours, days, sometimes weeks of missing time from your memory, which of course caused problems with the system as it made it hard to place you in a home.

Jobs were just as bad. You couldn’t exactly keep one if you weren’t conscious long enough to actually do it. How you managed here, in this pure white and far too bright laboratory, was beyond you, but you were being fed and had a bed to sleep on so you didn’t complain too much.

Like every other time you expected them to kick you out or look at you like you were some monster, but instead they handed you this massive contract and let you read it over.

In exchange for more money than you thought you could ever spend, you signed away your rights and bodily anatomy to the lab so that they could potentially find out the explanation for your missing time. What really sold you, is when you were told that you weren’t the first one they had in custody with an eerily similar condition.

Escorted back to the padded room, you briefly wondered what was going to happen next. They didn’t say what the experimentation was outside of drugs and tests to see how they affect you, so the worst was probably side effects? Whatever it was, you thought it would be better than living on the streets, doing regrettable things just to get by.

Here you at least had three meals a day, a bed, showers, and clean clothes. They cut your hair pretty short, but you didn’t mind, it was starting to get matted anyways. Your hands and feet felt so soft. It felt nice, and you never thought you would get to such a point in your life.

You often wondered why even try after all, but there was something nagging in your brain that you had to survive; that you had to live. It was the only reason you never thought of taking your own life.

Was this why? Did some part of you just know things would turn around?

Later you were moved to a lower level of the lab, behind more security to a whole wing with slightly bigger bedrooms, still white and padded, but you weren’t alone in the wing either. There was staff, and then patients.

People like you.

Every single other patient was a male, something like recognition flashing in their eyes as you passed. Some bowed their heads, others smiled, and you mirrored their greetings as if it was the most natural thing to do. Not that you knew why, confusion settling on their features, and yours, after the act. It only lasted a moment, awe dashing away the thoughts as you were brought to a decent rec room with board games and other activities in the room. There was a TV and games but they seemed to be offline.

Right away, one of the conditions was being secluded from the outside world as a way to ensure nothing leaked out before its time. It was an experiment, so that was understandable. Even without wifi or cable, the selection of recreational games and hobbies that were nicely spaced apart had you giddy.

“Make yourself comfortable and introduce yourself to a few others. There are about a dozen others, the only rule is no talk of your personal outside life. Like past family, or relationships, no names given. Understood?” The doctor - at least you think he was a doctor, maybe an orderly - told you.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded once more, turning back to the remaining others in the room. You had passed about four or five, and there were just as many here in the room now, some you had passed joining you. They all had their things that they gravitated to, but you didn’t move at first.

It wasn’t until the sound of a piano and low humming grabbed your attention that you stepped further into the room. Whatever tune the person played, it was familiar, and it drew you over like a moth to the burning flame.

He stopped playing when you got close enough, for a moment frozen before he suddenly leaned back far enough he was looking up at you upside down, brown tufts of unkempt hair hanging down to expose his face. Wild, almost insane eyes stared up at you, matched with an unhinged grin with perfect teeth.

“Did you like that?” He asked in a singsong voice, fingers still paused on the keyboard.

If you had sense, you would realize the man was insane. He had cloth wrapped around his wrists, dried blood on them and broken painted nails that also had dried blood under them. His neck had a similar white cloth, tied in a big bow that somehow made him look boyish.

Boyish and mad, but not an ounce of a threat.

“I did. What’s the song?” You hummed out, for the life of you unable to name it.

He shrugged casually, sitting up and rolling his dainty shoulders back, making them seem wider than they were a moment ago. “Can’t remember. Only the tune.” He started playing it again, singing it a bit louder in a beautiful voice that just drew you in.

You stepped closer, just to have someone else suddenly grab your wrist and yank you away. Turning with a gasp, you stared up at another patient, black hair past his sharp jaw, fierce eyes staring you down a curved nose that was oddly beautiful. “Don’t get too close to Hongjoong, He’s as mad as they come.”

“As if you’re any better, Wooyoung.” The man on the piano, Hongjoong, sang back followed by a laugh that could only be described as joyful insanity. “No sanity for me, no love for you~~” His fingers danced against the plastic keys of the keyboard, playing a different tune with a heavier build and faster tempo. “All who come must leave something behind.”

Wooyoung scoffed, dropping your hand with a sneer. “Just don’t encourage him. He’s fucking annoying.” He grumbled out, flipping off the man on the piano and then sauntering elsewhere to leave you be.

They were both odd, but your whole life had been odd so it didn’t necessarily bother you.

In fact, each of the other patients you met had something odd about them. One had a strong fear of water to the point he was sedated regularly to be bathed and cared for. Another was apparently so afraid of everything that he never left his room. There was a man who didn’t talk, and another who was convinced he was a cat, but otherwise not a single one seemed dangerous, all opening up to you easily in the days that passed.

You were beginning to worry about the experiment after the first week, only taking the medicine they asked for just before bed, and then having to tell an orderly the date the next day. So far, you had no missing time, nor any weird side effects.

Not until the second week.

It was just a dream, at least you told yourself. You were staring up at an oddly colored sky that was a swirl of colors, but when you sat up from the hard ground beneath you, your surroundings seemed desolate. Destroyed buildings that looked like they were an array of colors and materials before, now just piles of rubble. A red brick road barely visible under the rubble a few feet from you, and the thick forest around you seemed devoid of life, or leaves.

It was a colorful land turned wasteland, and for some reason, your chest was tight at the sight.

Slowly you pushed yourself up from the dirt, stepping onto the uneven road and turning your head to look down both paths in a debate of which way to take. You could barely make out a city in the distance to your right, so that’s where you would go. Maybe there was life there? Answers to why this place was so debauched?

Maybe it could answer why you needed answers to begin with, heading down the road with careful steps. It felt like hours walking, the landscape devoid of sound as it was of life, only the rubble and dried twigs snapping under your bare feet could be heard. On occasion you stepped just wrong on something that had you wincing in pain, and by the time the forest became less dense and more buildings were inside, the soles of your feet felt scrapped up and were throbbing.

Odd to feel pain from a dream, you mused, but perhaps more odd that you didn’t question it much.

Even once in the center of the torn town, there was still no life. No hum of electricity or fires, no light other than the seeming forever setting sun in the distance. Nothing.

With a sigh you sat down on the edge of a water fountain with no water, running your hands over the worn stone and marveling at the feeling on your fingertips. It truly felt real. But that just made it even more disturbing. If such a desolate place was real, then the horrors that made it so were as well.

You thought about finding a bed to lay down in, since despite the long trek you didn’t feel hunger but you felt exhaustion. There was also an overwhelming loneliness that sat in your chest, which made you want to leave this place sooner as if it was the cause of it.

Until you heard movement.

Sitting up straight you looked around, scanning for where the noise came from. Your eyes widened when they landed on another figure. A familiar figure.

Hongjoong grinned as he saw you, giggling in that familiar way you knew but there was something different about him: almost sane.

“You’re here? Oh you are here!” Laughing louder he rushed over to you, still grinning wide. “Hm, I wonder what’s different about you. Here we have what we lost, you know.”

“Well if you have your sanity, it doesn’t seem like it.” You let out a scoff, but overall were glad to see him. “Are you going to talk in riddles again or can you explain to me where I am? Is it a dream? It doesn’t feel like a dream."

He sat down next to you, quiet as he looked around at what once had been a beautiful town no doubt. “I don’t know where here is, but I know it’s not the lab. It’s not that world. I can’t remember the name, just a feeling it was home at some point. I’ve met Wooyoung here before, but he was different. He doesn’t remember when he wakes. Neither do the others. It’s just missing time.”

With a frown, you digested his words. It sounded insane, and the man was insane, so why should you believe him? Yet you did. You believed him completely. “So, the missing time in my memory, was it because I was mentally here?”

“Bingo!” He beamed over at you. “If you pay attention to the white coats, you’ll hear them talk about dream walking. That’s what they call this, what we do.”

Dream walking? That didn’t explain what this place was, or why you seemed tied to it, but you didn’t think Hongjoong would have the answer. “What if I forget this when I wake up?” “Good question. Do you want to wake up now?”

You still felt inexplicably sleepy, and despite accepting the information he had given, it still felt like so much. So much emotion and knowledge you weren’t sure how to process it. Not to mention the need to confirm it. “Yes, I want to wake up.”

“Then… Do you trust me?”

Did you? That was another good question. You never trusted anyone in your life, and he was an unpredictable man in the real world, which seemed to transfer to this realm as well. And yet, you found yourself nodding. “I think so?”

He reached out, taking your hand in his and running his thumb over the center of your palm. “I apologize for this then.”

Before you could question, you were screaming out in pain, glancing down at the piece of glass now embedded in your palm. Blood gushed out, head spinning as you took note that his hand was bleeding as well from the grip he had on the other edge, blood trickling down until-

You sat up screaming and holding your hand to your chest, tears running freely as panic spiked through you. Pain radiated up your arm to your chest, and in your panicked state you noticed blood. Blood oozed from the piece of dirty glass in your hand, dripping onto the white gown you wore, and the bed beneath that looked as if it had been tossed through the dirt.

The door to the room burst open at your cries, two orderlies and a nurse rushing to your side. Through your tears you recognized Jongin at the door, one of the doctors that checked in on you.

Whether it was because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins as the nurse and orderlies held you down, or Hongjoong’s actions in the dream making you more alert, you heard Jongin even through the chaos as he spoke into a small device.

“It happened, patient seventeen experienced it. And they brought back an object.”

Sobbing out, you turned your attention to the glass the nurse was examining, knowing just what he meant. You brought an object from a dream back with you. How was that even possible?

Things were vastly different after that. You saw the scientists and doctors more than you saw the others like you. Their reactions were a mixture of excitement and curiosity, but some seemed quite apprehensive of you, reluctant to even touch you.

Sitting on the new bed you were brought to, Doctor Junmyeon sat in the seat across from you, taking notes on a notepad as they tried not to let electronics in this room. You were curious about what happened to Hongjoong, because while you hadn’t told them it was him that had stabbed you with the glass, you were worried his hand had been injured just like yours and they knew anyway.

If they did, would they isolate him like they did you? Even if he had stabbed you, you didn’t want that. He was the first real connection you had to the other plane.

“Alright Seventeen, we’re going to try to induce you into that state tonight, is that alright?”

While you swore you had returned to the other plane since you were moved here, unlike the time Hongjoong stabbed you, you couldn’t remember it. So you had no idea if you met any of the others there or so forth. “If I do… what if I don’t remember?” You asked hesitantly, playing with the worn out bandage around your hand. After two weeks it was mostly healed, but there were fresh scraps on the bottoms of your feet every few days. That was how you assumed you were over there.

The man smiled, playing up the charm to ease your nerves as he leaned over and gently placed a hand over yours to stop you from agitating the wound. “That’s alright. This is just a test to see if you can be sent over with the drugs we give you. Is that alright?”

Blushing at the small contact and staring at his thumb brushing over your knuckles, you nodded. “Yes, sir.” Doctor Kim Junmyeon was the head Doctor here at the facility and since your incident, he had been personally coming to see you and explain the tests they were doing. The medication they often gave you knocked you out, but there had been times it was at the cost of your stomach contents first. Doctor Jongin usually assisted him, and then the orderly Kim Minseok helped you with your meds. They seemed nicer than the Doctor Minho that had been in charge of you before, dismissing all of your questions with a sneer.

So you trusted them as you were laid down moments later, the heat turned up in the room to make up for the lack of blanket and mimic the humid atmosphere you had told them you remembered before. Doctor Junmyeon was the one to personally inject the blue medicine into your arm, a new one, before brushing your hair out of your face.

“I know you won’t let me down-” You were already falling asleep, but you swore he said your actual name.

You knew this time was going to be different since you did find yourself conscious in the other zone. Before, things went black and the next thing you remembered was waking up. You double, then triple check that you were indeed fully awake and aware, taking a few slaps to the face just to be sure.

Vividly, you remembered the fountain where Hongjoong had stabbed you, but this time it was nowhere in sight. You weren’t outside either though, instead staring at the highest ceiling you thought possible, the top so far up, it was dark, but you knew it was pointed, considering the angled ceiling you could see. Was it just that dark?

It was also intact, unlike all of the buildings you had seen before. Vaguely, you remembered a destroyed city past the forest, but there had been a tower or two that was still standing tall. Were you there now? Did you make it to the city in the time you could not recall.

Slowly you sat up, palm against the blankets that were beneath you: dusty but they were blankets.

Had you made a bed the last time? Was that how you left, laying down and sleeping? By why here, in this tower?

One glance around was enough of an answer, this place was tidy and intact, only a pile or two of ruin but there were actual lights on the walls and less debris dust than even that small town. And… running water.

Your eyes fixated on the faucet pouring water into what looked like a roman bath, steam bellowing from the hot water but it didn’t hide the figure there. Well, plural figures.

They were across from each other, one sitting on the edge, their back facing you but you could see their legs spread and a hand between them. The soft sounds coming from them gave you a good idea of just what they were doing, heat rushing up your neck. You couldn’t make out the expression of the man sitting in the water, leaning against the other edge, but he was clearly watching the show.

Why it was happening yards from your sleeping form was lost to you, unless you hadn’t physically been there a moment ago. Still, you couldn’t tear your eyes away, ignoring the foggy figure you couldn’t make out and instead the back of the tall man that was clearly playing with himself in a sexual manner.

“Can I come? Please?” The deep voice panted out and you had to stop yourself from responding: he wasn’t talking to you after all.

A low chuckle responded instead, bringing your attention right over to the other man. He moved through the water, stepping up so it was waist high instead, the fog clearing enough you could make out his features more as he approached the one stroking himself. “Of course you can, Princess, I could never deny you when you listen so well.” He placed his hands on either side of the man, similar in stature but radiating energy that made him seem bigger- more dominant. “I would taste you if I could, would you like that?”

“P-Please.” More breathless moans followed, getting higher in pitch as well as clear wet sounds of him stroking his cock faster. His head fell back, dark hair sticking to his forehead, eyes shut, but you could make out such plush lips and sharp cheekbones. You were captivated, lips parted just as his were, but he was the one who let out a silent cry, body tensing with his climax.

Pressing your thighs together, you tried to feel shame for seeing such an intimate thing. One you didn’t expect to see but still, the show wasn’t for you.

Mind reeling, you found yourself sitting up straighter when the larger man met your gaze, lips twisting up into a sly smirk. “So the little dove awakens? Apologies you couldn’t see the full show in all its glory.” He moved to the side of the other, pulling himself out of the water with ease, splashing a good deal of it onto the marble floor.

You quickly looked away so as not to see his lower half, covering your eyes as your mouth ran dry. Each of his steps closer rang in your ears, resulting in you shrinking into yourself even more. “I didn’t mean to watch-”

“It’s alright.” He cut you off, voice much closer now. “Open your eyes, I’m covered. I want to give you a better welcome.”

“Welcome?” Slowly you peeked through your fingers, breath hitching at just how close he was. Dark hair with blue tones, eyes that shone like sapphires, and soft features that had a warm charm to them; all of his features were accentuated by the water droplets running over golden skin and clinging to the soft strands. You didn’t dare to look lower.

“Mhmm. A welcome. Stand up, we can leave the room and give Mingi a moment to wash up and dress. Unless you are having trouble walking?”

At his words, your head swiveled to stare at the other man, watching as he slipped into the water and dipped down until his chin was level with it. He smiled over at you a bit sheepishly, but he didn’t look familiar. Just his name. Some of the other patients had mentioned that the one who kept himself in his room out of fear had been named Mingi.

Was this the same man?

“No, I can walk just fine. But um, where to?” There were several doorways but you couldn’t make out what was beyond them.

“How about that one over there?” He pointed to an arch just behind what looked to be a throne, then stood up and gave you space.

With a nod you climbed to your feet, feeling a bit wobbly as you did, but headed through the archway. The room you stepped into was blank, some odd looking rubble the only objects, leaving you a bit confused. You turned to look up at the man, just to gasp at how much he did tower over you.

“Keep walking.”

“But there isn’t anything here.” You protested, taking note he stopped a foot from you.

“Check again.” He laughed under his breath, a spark in his eyes as you momentarily pouted, ready to argue.

Any protest did die in your throat when you turned back and saw the rubble was replaced with plush sofas and decor, much like an inviting waiting room or a sitting area. Your mouth hung open, momentarily gaping like a fish before turning back to him to see him laughing behind his hand. “How did-”

“I can explain if you’ll take a seat.” His laughter nearly doubled as you rushed to the nearest sofa and plopped down, eyeing him intently. “That eager?”

With a nod, you didn’t dare tear your gaze from him. “I want answers.”

“I can give them to you. In time.” He stepped in front of you, the fluffy white robe shifting into a velvet blue suit with a fluff on the outer jacket that mirrored a flower. A white button up was under the blue vest, and the sparkling red shoes he wore were a bold and clashing statement. They held your attention the most, an odd familiarity to them. “You really don’t remember the last time you were awake here, little dove?”

The change in his tone had your gaze snapping back to his face, taken back by the sorrow you saw there. “Ah, no, I don’t. There was only one time I remember being here, though I assume I’ve been here a lot?”

He nodded, taking a seat across from you and crossing his leg while resting his hands on the arm rest, exuding power although he watched you with an immense fondness. It was almost alarming the way he looked at you as if you were some long lost friend he had missed. “I believe you have, though the first time I had seen you, in a long time, was the last time you were here. A shame, you grew up so much and yet I can’t hug you or show my joy that you are here. A bigger shame you don’t remember me at all.”

There was a tightness in your chest that agreed with him, but it still left so many questions. “What’s your name? So I can try and remember it next time?”

“Yunho."

“And what is this place, Yunho?”

“I have long forgotten the name of it. It’s like it lost its name when it started decaying.” He sighed, tearing your gaze away and with a wave of his hand, like a mirage, images appeared all around you, just floating in the air like bubbles. “This is what it once was, I remember that much.�� The sights of bustling towns and vibrant structures and lands had emotion welling up in your throat. It was extremely familiar, like a place you had seen in your dreams so long ago. “And now it’s…” “Yes, now it’s an empty wasteland.” The images shifted to burnt forests and black wastelands with destroyed buildings. It looked like life was literally sucked out of the land. “The people all disappeared, for I remained. Some return, like you or Mingi in the other room, but rarely remember your times here."

“Does Mingi remember?”

“He does. He remembers me, but he says he has no memory of where he is outside of this place. Do you?” He waved the images away and turned to you, leaning forward on his elbows. “Do you know where you are when you sleep? Do you know where you go?”

Automatically your mouth opened to answer, but instead you frowned. “I… I do. But I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Why not? Do you not trust me?”

“Quite frankly, I don’t know. I feel like I can, but I also feel like I can’t. You can wave your hand and make things, and the fact that I can be in two places, two worlds, is also terrifying.” You sank into the plush fabric beneath you, frowning at the hospital gown. “Could you… are you able to change what I’m wearing?”

“What an odd thing to ask.” He mused, but went quiet, cupping his chin in thought. “I can't, but I can create something for you to change into if you would like?”

You nodded without hesitation, standing up to do that just to get flustered at his soft laugh. “What? You offered.”

“I did, but do you want to change in front of me?”

“I-” something about the way he had said it made you think about what you witnessed in the bath, the show Mingi had put on for him. Those thoughts moved to you doing the same, which had your thighs pressing together. “Where can I change?”

He stood up once more, a snap of his fingers and a box with a pretty bow appeared on the table before you. “In here. I’ll go get Mingi.” He was walking out of the room with such long strides that he was out of sight before you could reply.

So you turned your attention to the box, undoing the silk bow and opening it up to find a neatly folded blue dress that matched the suit he wore. Elbow length flowy sleeves and a knee length skirt that once on fit your form almost perfectly. Snug but comfortable, and it made you feel prettier than the gown did.

You were sitting back down when they came back, Mingi also dressed in a blue velvet suit; you wondered if that was a personal preference for Yunho.

“Ah, it suits you.” Yunho commented as he took the same seat as before, Mingi sitting on the sofa to his right. Just like before, they didn’t touch, bringing up his earlier words.

“So you can’t touch us? Is that why he was- um-”

“Masturbating for him?” Mingi added on, smiling a bit bashfully but he met your gaze. “If Yunho touches me, I go away. Don’t know where-”

“But you do, right little Dove? Is Mingi in the other place as well?” Yunho added on when Mingi trailed off.

Slowly you nodded your head. “I believe so. I’ve heard his name, but I never saw him in person.”

“Then how do you know it’s me?” Mingi relaxed in the seat, completely at ease with the questioning. Considering the Mingi you knew of kept himself locked away out of fear, and that this one seemed the opposite of fearful, you couldn’t say it was the same man.

Still, you shrugged and pushed on. “There are… others there, that are like me, I'm told. The Mingi there is one of them. One of the others, I met there, and met here, so I’m just making an assumption.”

“Makes sense, all those I’ve met disappear when I touch them. Maybe because I am here, but they aren’t?” Yunho hums out, leaning back in his chair. “There is one I’ve met that seems to remember, if only a little, but he prefers wandering the lands. Maybe you met him? Hongjoong?”

Out of reflex, you rubbed at the bandage around your hand, Yunho’s eyes following. “Ah, you had that last time, but couldn’t remember how you got it. Do you remember now?”

“Yes. Hongjoong stabbed me with glass the last time I remember being here. It woke me up, but the glass…” Did you tell him it had gone with you?

By the look in his eye, you didn’t have too. “I see. Would you like me to scold him next time I see him?”

“No, it’s alright. Will you answer more of my questions instead?”

Yunho tilted his head in question, watching you carefully for a moment before he settled on what to say. “In time. I want to make sure you remember what I tell you. Why don’t you tell me about your trip where Hongjoong stabbed you instead. And I will tell you a story as well.”

Agreeing, you recanted step by step your journey the last time you could remember, leaving out the mention of white coats and just that Hongjoong called this dream walking. It still sounded insane to you, especially as it was becoming obvious this wasn’t a dream. You were, for whatever reason, awaking in a new world or dimension when you slept. Two halves of a whole.

The story that Yunho told you was of a young girl, beloved by those that lived in this castle. He told you that she had many friends, from a scarecrow to a lion, and they all adored her. But none as much as her closest friend, her confidant, a beast tied to the very dungeons of this castle.

When asked why it was relevant, he had quite a forlorn and sad expression as he fiddled with the velvet flower. “Because that’s where the story starts, with them.” Then he had changed the subject, saying it was about time the both of you went back and he would prepare a room.

Once left with Mingi, you had a question for him alone. “Why… why were you doing that with Yunho in the bath? Are you two lovers?”

He smiled wryly as he stood up. “Yes and no. This place can be quite lonely, so it gives him pleasure. He’s never touched or kissed me, only said the things he would like to do, and sometimes told me what to do myself. You’ll get there eventually with him, most of us do.”

It didn’t answer your question completely, but you didn’t press. You couldn’t imagine being the only one here, unable to touch anyone for years, not without them going poof the second there was a touch.

Yunho returned after that, leading you both to a large bedroom that did look lived in, with hues of blues and silvers and yellows that suited Yunho, but also felt familiar. Climbing onto the bed opposite Mingi, you watched the taller man lay down and fall asleep in seconds. But not you, you weren’t ready to go.

“Yunho?”

“Yes?”

Turning to him, you beckoned him closer. “I have a secret to tell you, lend me your ear?”

Hesitantly, he eyed you for a moment before leaning in and turning his head to listen even though you both knew there was no one around to hear anyways.

With your heart racing, you gripped the bed covers, making up your mind before acting. “Thank you, I look forward to the next time.” And quickly you pressed a kiss to his cheek. The soft touch of his flesh for only a second before he, and the room were gone.

You found yourself sitting up in the bed back at the lab, blinking away the sleep to find Doctor Junmyeon just inches from your face, a hand on his cheek. He looked more bewildered than you felt, the dip of his gaze drawing your own.

This time you brought back the velvet dress.

Of course the doctors were elated, turning a lot of their attention onto you. Twice a week they would induce the dream, and every time you woke up in the palace with Yunho.

While the doctors gave you tasks, you played the story game with Yunho each time, learning much about your dreaming abilities and the world Yunho was in.

For example, if you willingly slept in Yunho’s world, you didn’t remember the dream when you woke. So, you had gotten into the habit of touching Yunho to send yourself back. Afraid to tell the Doctor’s about Yunho just yet, you theorized with the man himself, deducing it took a shock to jolt you awake for the memory to stick, otherwise your brain forgets from the time you sleep to when you wake up. So a forceful awakening was needed.

Another thing you learned is that you couldn’t bring everything over, but it did go both ways. Food you couldn’t, but permanent objects like the glass or clothes you could, just no electronics.

From listening to Doctor Junmyeon and the others, you were the only one who could bring physical things too and from. And, while you didn’t divulge everything, you did say you remembered bits and pieces.

They let you interact with the others once more, though Hongjoong never brought it up in the lab, he did apologize profusely the next time you saw him at the castle. Finally you saw what he meant before, with Wooyoung being the biggest tell. Heartless he seemed in the lab, devoid of life with no emotion on his features, but in the castle? He had quickly become clingy and needy, his laughter ringing through the marble halls and professing his love for any who would hear it.

There were others, the contrast night and day, and you started leaving a journal in the dream world of the differences and your own notes.

This went on for weeks, from playing games with Yunho and finding out about the dream world, to doing your best for Doctor Junmyeon to earn praise and support without ever telling him about Yunho. You told him you met the others, earning even more time with them and joint experiments which just resulted in you spending time with them and Yunho.

The more you got to know the mystery man in dreamland, and the progress you made with the doctors, you were aware there was something dark behind the scenes.

Yunho told you stories of a girl, or sometimes stories about the others, and often you thought he was talking about them and yourself from a time before. Before the world became a wasteland. When you finally asked him how it became so, he would push it off, saying you didn’t need to know.

As for Doctor Junmyeon, you were sure he caught onto the existence of Yunho. He often asked if there was anyone else there, that wasn’t here. Or any animals. You should have known something was amiss when he tested to see if you could bring over a bird.

The fact it was a dove scared you. It scared you more to see Yunho’s reaction.

He stared at it as if he wanted to break it’s neck, an aura radiating from him that seemed to darken as the dove tried to flee from your hands. Thankfully Wooyoung had been there, convincing him that he didn’t need to harm it, so instead he created a cage and put it there.

“I need this alive for the next time.” You told him, attempting to placate Yunho yourself.

He snarled, collapsing onto the sofa in the little waiting room and stared you down with dark hooded eyes. “Convince me. There are doves here. Why did it have to be a dove?” Biting your lip, you glanced over at Wooyoung who was doting on the bird through the cage, all smiles. This version of him had grown on you, and perhaps how bold he was as well, considering what you did offer.

Wooyoung’s head turned so fast he might have given himself whiplash, eyes bulging out of his head at your suggestion. It did the trick though, Yunho was now leaning forward, elbows to knees and hands clasped before him, grinning with a look of lust you had seen on his features more than once when talking to you. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t flirted, he had made it clear he found you attractive, admitting on more than one occasion he wished he could touch you, more than any of the others.

Perhaps you returned the sentiment, considering you just offered to touch yourself on his command if the bird was indeed there when you returned.

Wooyoung spent most of the time you were there teasing you for it, telling you that there was no going back now. You didn’t want to go back.

You knew you could fuck any of the other patients in the lab, you had seen them do it. Wooyoung himself would go to other rooms, and he would tell you it was in an attempt to feel something, while Hongjoong just enjoyed it. You could have either of them if you really wanted, and part of you did, but not as bad as you wanted Yunho.

The man you couldn’t touch.

The tension between you both was heavy for that visit and he made a show of sitting closer to you than he normally would. Inches from you rather than feet, distracting you from whatever Wooyoung was babbling on about now. At least until Wooyoung got quiet. You looked up to see he was gone, indicating he woke up.

Another thing you had noticed. When you slept here, your body disappeared. Mingi’s, Wooyoung’s, Hongjoong’s- everyone’s. Yours though, sometimes it stayed, appearing more like an apparition than a body according to Yunho.

Another way you were different.

“I’ll tell you something crucial this time, little dove.” Yunho drew your attention back to him, leaning against the back of the sofa with his shoulder. “I don’t have all of my memories, just the before, and after. Before with the girl and her friends, and an after with a wasteland I am alone in. It wasn’t always a wasteland, first the people were just… gone. But over the years I saw it, everything collapsing. The furthest lands, slowly aching this way. This tower, I can’t leave, I’ve tried. But it also remains mostly intact. I can shape it to my will, but not outside. You all say your versions over there have lost something, well it feels as if I have lost something too.”

Your heart hurt for him, unable to imagine the life he had here in this world. “Do you know where they went? The people?”

He shook his head, glancing over your head out one of the stained glass windows. “No. I only know that without them, this world isn’t complete, and neither am I.”

You sat in silence for some time after that, mulling his words over carefully. Without really saying goodbye you leaned back against the sofa on your side, mirroring his form and smiling up at him as you reached out. His own smiling visage disappeared from your sight as you had touched his hand, now looking over at Doctor Junmyeon and holding his hand.

The experiment was a success, the bird wasn’t with you, and when you returned, the dove was still alive.

As promised you gave Yunho an evening where you sprawled on the bed naked, touching yourself every which way he wanted you to. He made you whine and beg to come over and over, until you were so exhausted you had to beg to stop before you passed out.

To your surprise, he climbed into the bath with you, sitting across, and giving you an equally tantalizing sight. He stroked himself off, much like Mingi had done for him that first time you remembered him, but you remember thinking it might be a good thing he couldn’t actually fuck you. You had no idea how you would be able to take his massive size otherwise.

It was a shame you couldn’t curl up next time him afterwards though, stepping out of the water feeling touch starved despite his gaze eating you up for what had felt like hours. Perhaps you could curl up with Hongjoong once you returned? Just to feel that physical intimacy you so desperately needed now.

It had you in a rush to get back, changed into a new outfit you pulled the dove out of the cage and sat down in the same spot you had awoken. Yunho sat down across from you once more, watching you with such warmth you also didn’t want to leave. Wordlessly, you did, waking up with the dove alive in your arms.

Not that Junmyeon cared. He and the others seemed a bit more flustered over your damp hair, and the soaked bed from when you had supposedly cum over and over, soaking it, making sounds they all heard. As well as who they had been for.

“Who is Yunho?”

Reluctantly, you told Junmyeon everything. He seemed shocked at first, but then understanding as he held your hand and nodded along. But by the end of your tale, he looked concerned.

“Are you sure he hasn’t bewitched you somehow? He can manipulate the space in that tower, how sure are you that he can't manipulate you?”

The simple question filled you with doubt. There had been times you felt as if you couldn’t trust him, some instinct that said it was a bad idea. Was this why?

Junmyeon moved onto the bed next to you, now a clean one, and rested his hand on your knee as he muttered your name. “I think it’s time to tell you the truth about what we do here.”

You were silent for a moment before looking up at him. “You already know why we all have the missing time. You already know about the other side… don’t you?” You had figured it out a bit ago, Junmyeon didn’t seem shocked about your descriptions of the other place or that you saw the others there. In fact, he seemed elated you remembered it and could transfer items to and from. “You want to get to the other place… don’t you?”

With his nod, your heart sank. The whole reason you never asked was you wanted to be in denial; wanted the concern Junmyeon showed you to be because you were someone he really wanted to help. But you were a tool to him, to get to the other side.

All of you were.

“Yes but… I would like to tell you why. Will you listen?” He grabbed both of your hands but you pulled them away and stood up, unable to look at him.

“It’s a wasteland over there! Why would you want to go there? What does it have that-” You answered your own question, staring up at him with abject horror.

Yunho.

They wanted Yunho.

Junmyeon began to panic, standing up and shaking his head. “We do but not for the reasons you think! Listen, he isn’t an ally to you, he’s deceiving you.” As you shook your head vehemently, Junmyeon grabbed your biceps. “Think about it, you’re a smart girl. He can manifest physical things and change that tower to his will. Do you really think he can’t change the land? Or make you see things that aren’t true?”

“But he wouldn’t-”

“Let me prove it to you. Please.” There was a desperation to his tone now that had you wincing, tears brimming in your eyes. You didn’t think he was lying to you, it often felt like Yunho wasn’t telling you something.

“I… okay.”

He sighed with visible relief. “Thank you.” He cupped the back of your head, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You wanted to enjoy the simple touch, wanted to rely on this man who you thought genuinely cared to make you better.

But now you didn’t trust him. They wanted Yunho, and maybe they were right that Yunho was lying to you. What was the reason though? You wanted to know.

You wanted answers. That’s why you agreed.

Staying in your room until the next experiment, you couldn’t look at the others. They didn’t know about Yunho and the other zone, even Hongjoong never mentioned him over here. It was just you. You are lost in thought, weighing your options, trying to find some missing puzzle piece the entire time you were in solitude.

Then it was time.

Junmyeon explained that Yunho would show his true colors to outsiders, and that’s why you had a guard sitting next to you, holding your hand and getting tied together. Either he would physically or mentally cross over with you, that was the hope, but you felt uneasy.

This just felt like Junmyeon trying to see if you could bring others over, not a test against Yunho. It felt like a trap but you had to go through with it. You needed the answers, so you had to.

“You’ll see, Seventeen, you’ll see.” Junmyeon muttered under his breath as he injected you with the serum to put you under. Disappointment filled your heart as he was back to calling you by your subject number, but you tried not to let it show.

Instead you focused on bringing the guard with you, one you had never seen before.

Beginning to recognize the feeling in your mind that gave away you weren’t on earth anymore, you knew you were on the sofa even before you opened your eyes.

The man was still tied to you, blinking sleep from his eyes as you both stared at each other. There was no time to be elated though, a pained beastly scream was heard throughout the space, even shaking the very seat you were on. The man jumped into action, quickly undoing the ties as the rumbles got closer.

Fear struck your heart when you heard it, your name, twisted like a venomous bite on a beast’s tongue. Eyes on the door, tears burned them as Yunho strode in, a black mass behind him that roared with unmatched rage.

“Why is there someone else with you?!” He spoke through clenched teeth, veins throbbing on his neck so prominent you could even make out the pulse. The shadow behind him spoke the same words, shaking the ceiling.

“Fuck-” If you were afraid, this guard was petrified, holding up a gun you hadn’t seen on his body before hand. “This was suicide-”

“Damn right it was.” Yunho reached out, the next second the man before him, Yunho’s claw wrapped around his throat. The gun had dropped to the floor, the guard now clawing at the blue velvet around Yunho’s forearm. “Answer me little dove, are you betraying me?! Are you bringing the enemy here?!”

Finding your voice finally you stood. “They’re helping me! Don’t hurt him Yunho!” You stepped closer, noticing the furniture decaying rather quickly as the tower was still shaking. “Yunho please!”

He laughed, such a dark and twisted sound it stilled you down to your breath. He looked at you like a beast, lips pulled back in a snarl and a glare so fierce you fell back.

“You fell for it again, little dove. So naive.”

You could only watch in horror as Yunho grabbed the man’s thigh and then ripped it off. Blood splattered in an arch around the room, hitting your gown and arm you held tightly to your chest. Even through the onslaught of tears you could see in detail each limb get ripped off, the man screaming from his life until he was dead. Even then Yunho still ripped him apart, the shadow attached to him like he was a part of it, roaring with laughter.

Blood was soaking your dress by now, the same blue velvet one he had given you. You wore it every time for these experiments, just so he wouldn’t give you more. But now the thick fabric was dark and wet with blood. It was on your arms, your face, kneeling in a pool of it as he dropped the dozens of pieces of the man before you and began to stomp it into a pulp.

He looked like a demon, a beast, reaping enjoyment from turning a grown man into a pile of blood and mush.

The feeling of being soaked in blood, watching bodies get torn apart, was so familiar it unlocked something in you.

Weren’t you found in a blue dress like this? Covered in blood but not an ounce was yours? Bloody footprints behind you, torn up feet, running and running and you had no idea from what.

It had been from him. From this… beast that was licking the blood off his lips and staring down at the remains of the man with an elated and wicked grin. But it was the electric blue eyes of the shadow that fully solidified the memory.

This was why you hadn’t trusted him. You ran from him before, scared he would rip you apart too, just like that. You willed yourself to wake up, to stand and run, to do something, but all you did was sit there shaking and sobbing, struggling to breath.

When he finally seemed to notice you, your breath halted completely, locking eyes with him and unable to look away.

His smile faltered, stepping through the remains with a squelch under his red shoes before he knelt down before you. “Don’t look at me like that, you brought him here. Don’t you know this is our home? All those fucking intruders do is steal and take. They took you from me. They took you all from me.”

“I-I thought-”

“Thought I didn’t remember? I lied.” He didn’t touch you, but both he and that shadow dwarfed you with ease. “I lied because you hated me for hurting them last time and ran. I didn’t want you to run again, little dove. It’s been so lonely without you.”

Gasping out, your breathing picked up, tears falling faster. “I just want answers, Yunho. Just want to know who to trust. You’re scary like this. I don’t like you for being cruel. Why did you have to be cruel?” You sobbed out, ignoring the blood as you buried your face in your hands.

The tower wasn’t shaking anymore and it didn’t feel as dark as it had a second ago but you didn’t look up. You sobbed, wanting to wake up and forget this. You wanted the Yunho from last time back. Not this Yunho.

“I’m sorry little dove, just don’t leave me for good.” His voice had returned to normal, choking on emotion as he reached out, pressing his hand to the top of your head.

You woke screaming, swatting away his hand that wasn’t there anymore as you scrambled off the ground. You were dripping in blood and guts, taking in the sight of the room to find that the bed and furniture were all pushed to the walls, all painted with blood. Your eyes fell to the spot next to you, letting out another scream to find that you had brought it back.

The pile of guts, bone, and blood that was the guard.

Whether it was to be nice to you, or because they knew you were in no state of mind to continue, you were left to your own devices for weeks after that incident. The guards avoided you, and the other patients seemed concerned for you, especially Hongjoong.

You sat with him by the piano, watching him play that same tune he always did. Resting your head on his shoulder, you sighed, knowing you were being watched. “Hongjoong, what do I do?”

“Why are you asking me? No sanity remember.” He teased, leaning his head against yours. “Unless you’re looking for a crazy answer?”

“Maybe.”

“Logically I should ask what it is you are talking about. I really have no clue. But I think you already have the answer, you just don’t wanna believe it.” He stopped playing, instead moving to put you on his lap and your hands on the piano. “Play with me, little dove.”

Before you could question him, he was moving your hands over the keyboard, playing the tune he was just a moment ago. It felt physically familiar, Hongjoong humming the tune in your ear. You let your eyes flutter shut, let him take the lead, and just relax.

It was easy to picture a scenario where you sat on someone’s lap, their large hands over your smaller ones, teaching you this tune on piano. You could hear kids running around, a soft breeze and feel sun rays on your skin.

Someone said your name fondly, laughing as the song came to an end and a little boy with blue black hair ran up to you, holding out a flower. A happy boy with a familiar smile.

You snapped out of the memory, looking up at Hongjoong yet again. “All who come must leave something behind. Do you know what you left behind, little dove?”

“Why are you calling me that?”

He shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I don’t know, I think I remember someone else calling you that. In a dream.”

How much did he remember as just a dream? “Do you think I left him behind Hongjoong?” Was Yunho what you left behind?

“Maybe? Or he left that behind.” He spoke it with such a conviction you believed it to be true.

Yunho had said he wasn’t over here, and it made sense, but why would Hongjoong say that if he didn’t believe it? And the man had lied to you before. Doctor Junmyeon too, you realized, had also lied to you.

You needed to talk to Yunho, and without the doctors knowing. “Thanks Hongjoong, just one more question.” You climbed off his lap and he turned to look at you with such a serene and happy expression it puzzled you.“I hope I can give you the answer you want.”

“I think you are the only one who could answer it. Do you think we can go back? Permanently?”

He thought it over, rubbing his chin as if deep in thought before grinning. “If you will it, then yes.”

His response answered a lot for you, so many things are beginning to piece together. You just needed confirmation.

Later, when you were sure the guards weren’t looking, you slipped into another patient’s room, spotting him already sleeping. Thanks to Junmyeon you knew if you touched someone who was already there, it did the trick for you. It was a good thing you remembered that Mingi was always there.

He really did look the same, your first time seeing him in this realm and just as gorgeous. Taking a deep breath you climbed into bed with him, laying on your back before you took his hand in yours and shut your eyes.

You were out like a light, finding yourself on the bed from before. Mingi wasn’t beside you, but he was in the room, staring out a broken window.

Broken?

You sat up quickly, starting around the room to find that the bed was the only thing intact, and even then the blankets and canopy was shred to bits. Swallowing hard, you called out to him, shocked to find him crying. “Mingi?”

“He’s hurt.”

Panic swelled in your chest as you got off the bed and rushed out of the room. There were holes in the ceiling, cracks in the wall, and rubble everywhere. But in that main room, the bath gone from existence, Yunho was there.

He seemed to be asleep on the throne, the blue of his suit dirty but there was no more blood on him. Something about him seemed less, as if he was being drained of life like this realm.

Cautiously you approached, stopping just before him and resisting the urge to reach out. “Yunho?”

No answer.

“Um… Yuyu?”

You could see his eyelids flicker.

“Yuyu, wake up please. It’s your little dove.” Swallowing the panic you tried to keep your voice steady. He had never been asleep before. “Please wake up. Please. I came back, didn't I?”

Still nothing.

Sighing, you sat down on the ground and watched him, calling out to him occasionally. “You said this was our home Yuyu, I was born here wasn’t I?” You rambled, needing to get this off your chest anyways. “But… but something happened. You scared me didn’t you and I ran? Ran over there. But I don’t get it. What happened, Yuyu? Why did we all leave? Did the intruders take us all away? Are they hurting this land? Are they hurting you?”

Nothing still, and you couldn’t help the tears that welled up. “I just want to make sense of it. I want to know what happened. I want to undo it and come back. Please, I want to come back. Want us all to be whole again.”

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, looking up to see Mingi watching you with confusion and calling your name.

The next second you were climbing into his lap and holding onto him, sobbing into his shoulder as he held you. Something was very wrong, you could feel it, but without those last pieces of the puzzle you couldn’t do anything.

Mingi held you until you both fell asleep, Yunho not once waking up despite your cries.

What was stranger was the fact Mingi didn’t completely freak out when you both woke up, but that might have to do with the fact you weren’t in bed when he did as you woke up just a bit before him. He had scrambled back to the wall and was staring at you with trembling eyes, but he didn’t scream or yell or cry. He just watched you with obvious fear until you left.

None of the orderlies had been around and you made it back to your room safely. There you just contemplated what to do. If you couldn’t get answers from Yunho, then you had to get them elsewhere.

There was only one other person who could indulge in that, even if he didn’t have all the answers.

Doctor Kim Junmyeon.

They started these experiments not to fix the patients but to do what you have been doing: They wanted to get to that realm, and to Yunho. Why didn’t matter, not entirely, but if they thought they could get there that means they had an idea.

You sought him out the first chance you could get, demanding to any of the guards or orderlies to see him, and he was stepping into your room that evening.

“You wanted to see me, Seventeen?” Doctor Junmyeon had even avoided you since then, though you didn’t know why. Shouldn’t he have been happy he was right about Yunho showing his true colors.

That he was a beast to be feared?

Not that you feared him, not until you knew for certain what was going on.

“You said you wanted to get to Yunho. I want to help.”

His face lit up, smiling as he quickly closed the distance and was back to calling you by your name. You didn’t like it though, the sudden change, it made you wary. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, though I’m not sure how I can help. You know how though, right?” Gently you grabbed his hands, feigning admiration as you stared up at him. You once admired him, perhaps you still did, but all you knew was that they wanted Yunho and you didn’t want them to have him.

“Yes yes, we have a way.”

“What is it?” You stepped closer, placing a hand on his chest. “What do I have to do?” He hesitated then, his larger hand now over yours as he took a deep breath. “I need to talk to my superiors but we suspect you have the ability to open the door again. When it’s open, we should be able to go in and travel completely.” “What if he hurts you? Like he did-” You swallowed, stepping away suddenly with a dramatic act of hesitation. It wasn’t them you were worried about, but Yunho. The other man had a gun, if a hoard of men went in with weapons they could kill him.

“It’ll be alright, we have a plan though we hope to have him alive. Give me the night to talk it over?” Junmyeon patted your head softly, then let it slide down to cup your cheek and lift your head.

You blushed at his actions, only because you thought of Yunho touching you like this. Maybe it would all work out? Maybe this would all work out and no one would get hurt. Maybe doing what they said was really the right thing to do.

You had a night to figure it out.

Unfortunately you didn’t dream of Yunho and the other realm, instead it felt like you were floating in a dark space for hours on end, the only sound was a child crying.

It left you uneasy for the day, impatiently waiting for Junmyeon to fetch you for the evening. When he did, you found all other patients were in their rooms, an orderly standing in front of each door with two guards at both ends of the hall. Not once had you seen that before and it had you worried even more.

Intuition told you something big was going to happen and it might not end well. It felt wrong, your stomach twisting with nerves as you were lead to a door that patients could never pass but the staff did.

Then you went down.

Only a floor or two from the elevator, Junmyeon using his ID card to pass through more security doors with grates on them- on both sides.

Down the hall, the silence and presence of more guards unnerving you even more. THis was bad, you had no doubt in your mind.

He led you to another pair of grated doors, the room inside start white aside from a giant rock in the center- no, not rock, part of a building. It was surrounded by machines that held it still, a brick wall and the ground around it, but the most significant part was not the wall.

There was a hand jutting through what appeared like a crack that gleamed a steel blue, the faintest of lights illuminating every crack that stemmed from it. The hand however-

You did not need to ask Junmyeon to tell you whose hand it was, the velvet blue suit you saw peeking around the wrist was enough.

Stumbling back you pressed a hand over your mouth, eyes wide as the realization shook you to your core.

These were the answers you wanted. This was the puzzle piece, solidifying your suspicions already.

You were from there, and Yunho had gone after you. After all of you.

“Do you think you can open it?” Junmyeon said next to you, placing a hand on the small of your back.

Could you?

You would try.

As an answer you moved around the railing and down the metal steps, swallowing harshly to try and wet your throat, the amount of guards in the room even more unnerving.

They knew what Yunho was capable of. They knew he was a threat and as soon as you opened that door, they knew he would be angry.

You approached the wall, realizing it was larger than it looked from the door. Wires were connected to it, dangling off to machines that showed data you couldn’t decipher. None of it mattered, not when you had to tilt your head back to look up at Yunho’s hand, outreached as if to try and grab something. You had a feeling it had been you.

“Okay, I can do this. Just open the door.” Mumbling to yourself you focused more on the blue cracks that seemed to pulse. They pulsed faster when you ran a finger over the stone, and you could feel that same pulsing in your chest.

Home was just through these cracks.

Following your instincts, and pure desire to do so, you reached up, needing to stand on your toes to reach him. Fingers grazing his, the stone reverberated with the touch. It was when you jumped and grabbed his hand fully there was an explosion of power.

What was happening to your surroundings was the least of your concerns, the pulses of powers rushing out like shockwaves as the stone began to creak and crumble, opening up. There were shouts and screams, someone calling out your name, but it was all background noise.

Memories flooded your head. Who you were, the life you had on the other side with many of the people that were here. But mostly Yunho.

You were just kids when you both got your abilities, both responsible for the state of the realm. Both tied to it.

But only you could leave.

Memories of dreams in this world, meeting a man who took interest in the fact you could simply disappear. As a child you trusted him, telling him the truth.

And he took advantage of that. Lured you to open up a gate for him. But you couldn’t do that without Yunho.

The bloodshed happened in waves as men much like the ones around you swarmed into your home. They grabbed the other kids, ones you recognize, and many many others. The adults that fought got killed. Your parents got killed.

All because of you.

Yunho had only defended, the beast of his tearing apart the men even as you were yanked from him. You hadn’t protested then, not as a child, letting the intruders take you from him. The anguish of his screams as he killed and maimed trying to get to you rang so clearly in your head now.

They twisted to the screams of others, bringing you to your senses as you found yourself on the ground underneath Yunho, cradling your head with one hand while the other held him above you. There was blood on his cheek, eyes practically glowing with the lust and anger in them.

“Yuyu-”

“I’m here, my dove.”

Gingerly you reached up to wipe the blood off his cheek, frowning with concern. “Are you hurt?” “Not my blood.” He nudged his chin to the side to avert your attention. “Theirs.”

The guards were dead, ripped to pieces like the man you brought over, but not everyone was dead.

An alarm was ringing, someone calling out to you. Ah, Junmyeon, he’s still alive. You heard the door latch and lock, growing concerned for you both now.

“Yuyu, the others- Mingi and-”

“I know. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” He was off you in seconds, bursting through the doors and down the hall after the doctor you almost trusted.

The pools of blood and mutilated bodies meant nothing to you as you surged to your feet as well, concerned only for Yunho. Gunfire was heard and you caught up in time to see the slaughter.

With his bare hands - no claws - Yunho ripped a man’s arm off and threw it at Junmyeon, knocking him down before he got to the second set of doors. You took note of other doctors scrambling over him, but Yunho charged forward with a beastly roar.

The bullets were flung away by the shadow being around him, little tendrils stopping them and deflecting them right back to the guards that shot them. Yunho took care of the other staff himself.

Despite still having the features of a human, his hands had massive claws and there was a ferocity to his movements and expressions that was inhuman. Blood covered the white walls, screams and the sounds of flesh tearing and bones being crushed echoed in your eardrums.

And yet you found the sight of Yunho so utterly beautiful in carnage that you had to snap yourself out of it.

Not a single man made it to the elevator, their dying breaths long spent and only Yunho’s heavy pants and the blood dripping from his claws filled the space. Well, paired with your own racing heartbeat and shallow breathing.

Fear did not hit you until he turned to you, a wild look in his eyes. “Now You.” He growled out, taking a step in your direction while wiping blood from the side of his mouth with the bloody sleeve.

You ran back down the hall without a thought, the guilt hitting you once more and fully expecting Yunho to seek his revenge on you. You destroyed your home after all, and left him abandoned there. All alone.

As if you could outrun him though, tripping over your own feet and slipping in the blood that was everywhere now. The wind was knocked out of you as you hit the ground, white gown soaking up more of the blood beneath you as you tried to scramble back to your feet.

Where would you even go though?

The floor beneath you shook as he pounced on top of you, hands on either side cracking the floor. He snarled just behind your ear, the sound stilling your every movement and halting your breath in your throat.

Would he kill you now?

“Yuyu?”

“Finally…” He pressed his nose to your shoulder, slowly running it down your back, breath hot against your skin. “Finally I can touch you.”

With a cry you felt pain running up your spine, though nowhere near as much as you were expecting. The gown was torn and you had claw marks on your skin from how he had ripped it off. You turned your cheek to try and steal a glance, just to see him being far more gentle with pulling his pants down.

“Yu-”

“Sh, don’t resist, little dove. Otherwise this is going to hurt much more than it will.”

You saw it then, his cock springing free and hitting your ass. It was heavy, curved, and huge. Bigger in person.

He wasn’t going to kill you he-

Two of his fingers pushed into you with ease, his other hand holding your hands above your head. “Hold them there. Good.” Now three fingers, pumping into you at a painful pace, the harsh stretching bringing tears to your eyes. You pleaded for him, full on sobbing when he pushed a fourth in. “I know I know. But you smell too fucking good. Like them though. Need to get rid of that.”

Hiccuping as you were full on sobbing, you only pleaded his name, but not once did you say no.

Not even as his fingers were pulled out and he thrust himself inside. You howled, squirming and trying to get away now at the pain. “Too much- too much Yuyu can’t take it!”

“Yes you can. You’re going to fucking take it. As punishment.” Inch by inch one hand on your hip and pulling you back onto his cock more and more.

“But-”

“You left me there!” He cut you off, thrusting his full length that bulged out your stomach. “And then dared to taunt me with your presence? When I couldn’t touch you? I couldn’t kiss you, fuck you, love you.” He growled out, both hands now gripping the marble enough it turned to rubble beneath his hands.

“I know. I know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Yuyu.” You sobbed out, trembling beneath him as your cunt tried to get accustomed to his size. “I was lost without you, and I just wanted to go home.”

He pressed his forehead to the back of your head, panting heavily. You could tell he was trying to hold back, knowing this would be much worse. “Promise you won’t ever leave my side again?”

“Promise.” No hesitation. You reached for his hand, wrapping your fingers around just one of his and was meant with a warning growl, but he didn’t stop you. Twisting yourself a bit, you brought his hand to your throat, holding it there as you looked back at him. “You’re my home, and I won’t ever doubt that again. I accept my punishment, and then I want to take back our city, with everyone.” Tears had streaked through the blood splatters on your cheeks, bottom lip quivering from the pain as it felt like his cock was literally rearranging your insides, but your gaze was unwavering and full of promise.

He gripped your throat tighter and pulled you back, twisting you a bit more to crash his bloody lips to yours. He swallowed up your pained cry as he tested his hips out, his control slipping with every stroke of your lips until you were sobbing from his harsh thrusts.

Staring down at you with a dark eyes that didn’t waver once with each thrust, you forced yourself to do the same. Even as tears ran down your cheeks again, he licked them up, muttering to you that it would be okay, that you were taking it so well.

Before you knew it, it felt good. Too good. Your blubbering sounds of weak protests turned to pleas for more.

When you first creamed on his cock he was pressing your face into the marble and hunching over you, his other hand on your hip and holding it still as he somehow went harder.

You could see through the tears and blood that he was wearing those red shoes, the gems wet with blood that dampened his blue pants as well. It was only a brief thought, immediately shoved out as he slammed his hips down, the bulge so obvious from this angle.

He was probably half in your womb at this point, your tongue lulled out and drool adding to the many liquids beneath you. It was an effort to breathe between the desperate high pitched cries. The pressure on your skull moved to the back of your neck as his hips kept up their brutal pace, balls slapping against your clit again and again until you were coming again on his cock. “Fuck- can’t last when you’re that tight. Years of pent up tension and you’re milking it out of me like it’s nothing.” You could tell he was close by his raspy tone, deep and guttural.

So you begged for it. “Please come. F-Fill me up Yuyu. M-make sure I can never leave you.” Though it was an effort to get the words out between moans as your brain was fucked into mush, the pleasure and slaps to your clit becoming too much once more.

Thankfully that was all it took, a deep cry ripping through his chest and rumbling in his throat as he buried himself deep and really did unload in you. Enough the sizeable bulge seemed to grow, even with the feeling of his cum oozing out around his cock. You could see a few drops fall to the ground between you, despite your own vision black on the edges.

It was enough to have you cumming once more, even harder, with enough juice it pushed him out some and dribbled to the floor to add to the mess there.

He pulled out a moment later and your muscles went limp, body falling on your side as you tried to fight for any sense what-so-ever. He laughed lowly, leaning over to press a surprisingly soft kiss to your temple. “Fucked dumb so easily. So cute of you, my Dove.”

“Wow you really did some damage.” A voice called out but in your current state you had a hard time to place it or even look in the proper direction.

“Glad to see you made it down here Mingi.” Ah right, the others, how could you forget?

Some shuffling and splashes of feet moving through the blood. “Is she going to be alright?”

“It’ll take more than this to end her, she’ll be fine. She’ll get more punishment back home.” A hand patting your ass which you vaguely deduced was Yunho’s. “Are there more of you?”

“Just a small number of us here.” A new voice, ah Hongjoong. “Though we knew right where the gate was when we got our memories, so if there are any others, they’ll come to us. We might want to make sure the gate is safe for them to come to.”

Someone knelt down before you and poked your forehead, drawing your attention. You looked up at a familiar smile. “Though with the gate open, we have our abilities again. Shouldn’t be hard to defend it. And our sweet Princess should be able to locate the others. What do you say? Ready to clean up your mess?”

You were picked up in the next second, cradled in large arms. The bloody velvet suit was easily distinguishable. “Yuyu?”

“I don’t want to risk the gate falling in the wrong hands. Let’s head back and rebuild. Shouldn’t be hard to open another gate once we’re back to full power.” Yunho was already carrying you back to the portal and the idea of going home filled your weary bones with warmth.

“I have to say though- I don’t want to just return and forget about this world.” Hongjoong added, glancing around at the carnage. “I’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit here, plenty of people treating me, treating us, like scum.” There were a few that called out their agreement.

It reminded you of your own struggles growing up in this world, of not one but two betrayals, and it had you stopping Yunho. “I agree with Hongjoong. I know I was the one who brought them there, but they took everything from us. And only continued to do so over here. This is not enough.” You gestured to the bodies. You stared up at Yunho, the man you desired more than anything else. Slowly his lips twisted into a dark grin that was reflected in his eyes. “I see, then when we return for our brethren, let us show them horrors are always waiting on the other side.”

These humans destroyed not only their world, but their innocence, and it was something they would pay gravely for.

That was a promise.

For other works: Masterlist

#mirohsaurorasociety #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fanfiction #ateez smut #yunho smut #yunho x reader #yunho x you #yunho x y/n #yunho x mingi #yunho oz #dark fanfiction #ateez cnc

68 notes · View notes

elminx · 2 months ago

Text

Energy Update: December 2024

December is a “2” Universal Month (12 (December) + 8 (2024) =20 = 2+0 = 2] in an “8” Universal Year. Two is a movement number – things begin to balance out from the pure creation of the energy of the “1” month prior, and decisions start to present themselves. This aligns poorly with the astrology of the month, which is dominated by two major personal planet retrogrades (Mercury and Mars). In order to seek out balance or come into alignment with what is, we may need to work backward.

The Set Up

We begin the month with the Sun and retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius, Venus in Capricorn, Mars deep in its pre-retrograde shadow in Leo, retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, Saturn and Neptune in Pisces, retrograde Uranus in Taurus, and Pluto in Capricorn. This month, we will only have two planetary ingresses: our Sun will enter Capricorn, and Venus will enter Aquarius. This is due to Mercury’s retrograde, which ends on 12/15, that keeps our planet of Communication, Travel, and Technology in the sign of its exile for an exceptionally long time.

The Details

All eyes are on Mars, which will retrograde on 12/06 at 06° Leo. This retrograde will stretch into the new year; it ends in late February, but the post-retrograde shadow will continue until the beginning of May. This is the Big News Bear of the month as it will impact our entire holiday season, but it also sets the tone for 2025.

Mars

Mars gets top billing this month due to its upcoming retrograde on 12/6. This isn’t a post specifically about the retrograde (that’ll be out later – look for it in your email if you’re signed up for my mailing list), but it is significant enough to warrant a brief discussion. Mars is the slowest moving of our personal planets and tends to retrograde every 26 months or so. Because this planet dictates our modes of action and energy levels, we can expect forward motion (as a whole) and output to be lower during Mars’ retrograde periods. This is business as usual and the expected result of a Mars retrograde, but that doesn’t mean that people will be comfortable or accepting of this outcome.

Therein lies a lot of the struggles of a Mars retrograde cycle. Many of us (especially those ruled by Mars – Aries and Scorpio – or those with strong Martian placements) rely on accomplishments and consistent action to regulate our nervous systems. When thwarted, the Martian temperament can get aggressive and moody. Some types can be pushy or overtly forceful, and if one thing is for sure, it is that nothing should be forced during a Mars retrograde. Let it unfold slowly, and try to enjoy the ride.

This retrograde starts in fixed fiery Leo and ends in cardinal watery Cancer. A lot of people are going to fuck some shit up so that they can feel like they are still sitting on their throne and likely cry about it later.

It’s wise to remember that the planets aren’t here to hurt us, no matter how much our dysregulated brains might try to tell us so. Instead, if we look at planetary retrogrades as an opportunity to review, restart, realign, reassess, and rejuvenate, they can actually be valuable times of othered space. Each planet in retrograde adds a layer of the liminal to the space soup, and the more planets in retrograde at a time, the more liminal our space becomes.

It’s worth noting here that Mars’ retrograde overlaps with Mercury’s in December by five days (from 12/6-12/15). These are powerful days to slow down and assess where your life is and what you need to change to move forward. This is especially fortunate for those who celebrate the new year in January, as it is an early chance to align yourself with your goals for the year ahead.

Mars will station direct on 2/23, so this is a long-game transit – much longer than Mercury’s month-long retrogrades. Other than slowing us all down (and probably causing some significant tifts over the holidays), Mars won’t be doing much this month as – during the time when a planet stations (changes directions) they tend to hold their position in the sky for an abnormally long time. If you have a personal planet in the early degrees of the fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius), you might feel the strain of Mar’s lack of movement all month. Expect things to get angsty. Expect divas to be on the very biggest tears. It is what it is; I find Leo’s energy pretty easy to walk away from if it’s getting to be too much, but your experience may vary.

Iron gate boundaries might be in order, especially with that incredibly demanding family member who never figured out that they aren’t the main character in your life. You might find that you need to do less; if you do, know you are right on time.

Mars retrogrades are almost inevitably challenging. Even if you can manage your own life slowing down (some of us even like it this way), you still have to deal with the absolute temper tantrums of those who can’t stand still for whatever reason. Stay aware of the Aries, Scorpio, and Capricorn types in your life (Sun, Moon, Ascendant, and Mars placements mostly here) or anyone with Mars in Cancer or Leo. They may be seriously losing their shit (and, if so, iron-clad boundaries, as I said), but they may also just need support as to what to do when you can’t do.

This retrograde aligns well with the season of withdrawal (lovingly called Fallowtide by some) but less well with our hustle-and-bustle holiday season. It’s okay not to do anything, especially if you are prone to low energy for any number of reasons. Take care of yourself often and early.

Our Lights: The Sun and the Moon

Our big win for the month is our two new moons – the first in Sagittarius on 12/01 and the second in Capricorn on 12/30 – which bookmark our month. Our Capricorn moon is especially auspicious because – as I have mentioned elsewhere – in 2024, we had two Capricorn new moons and two full moons. If, as I suggested, you have worked the Capricorn moons this year, this is your fourth and final chance to do so. Even though it is early from a calendar perspective, I would do any magic working or intention setting for 2025 during the hour of the new moon on 12/30. Capricorn is THE sign of long-term planning. Use that to your advantage.

We begin the month on 12/1 (always significant as the 1st dictates the energy for the month ahead) with a new moon at 09° Sagittarius in a t-square with Saturn at 13° Pisces and retrograde Jupiter at 16° Gemini. It’s worth noting two things here. The first is that Sagittarius, the sign of our lunation, is ruled by the planet Jupiter, which is currently in the sign of its exile, Gemini. Luck is on the fritz right now, and all that glitters is most certainly not gold. Additionally, this square between Jupiter and Saturn is Ascendanting meaning that the two planets haven’t actually met at a 90° angle; we are working towards this square, not away from it.

This square between Jupiter and Saturn, currently in Pisces and Gemini, will be a major player in the energy of 2025. The planets meet in an exact square on the Pisces-Gemini axis and the Aries-Cancer axis. Luck may have gone awry, but this is an opportunity to glimpse what lies ahead.

So you are saying, there is a chance. On this day the answer is almost irrevocably yes.

Our Sagittarius new moon is a 9/2 new moon. 9 (Sagittarius moon) + 9 (Sagittarius Sun) = 18 = 1+8 = 9. 9 (Sagittarius new moon) + 2 (December 2024) = 11 = 1+1 = 2.

We are in the midst of some big endings, symbolized by the “9” energy, but the “2” echoes the glimpse into the future and the choices that lie ahead. This is a day well spent in divination or pathfinding of all kinds.

Our Sagittarius Sun squares Saturn on 12/04, which should not surprise anyone. Everyone is being held accountable for their actions in some way or another. This is business as usual; the Sun squares Saturn twice a year, but I’ve always noticed that it seems to show up like clockwork when the world needs it the most. Any Sun/Saturn transit adds a lot of power to magic used for justice and to hold people accountable for their actions. The sign of the archer can be especially helpful for Justice spellwork as Sag has a natural desire toward the highest good. If you work with runes, the Tiwaz rune would be especially useful during this time.

Our full moon falls on 12/15 at 23° Gemini. It is mostly unaspected besides a square to Neptune in Pisces, which carries energy similar to a major lunation anyway. This is also the day that Mercury stations direct at 06° Sagittarius. The twofold nature of switching, Mercury in direction and the Moon in purpose (wax on/wane off if you will) can be used to enact many types of magic for change. Mars is retrograde by this point, though, so be careful how you word anything focused on movement in the physical world during this time. Think Road Opener rather than a spell to force direction.

Our Gemini full moon is a 3/5 full moon. 3 (Gemini moon) + 9 (Sagittarius Sun) = 12 = 1 + 2 = 3. 3 (Gemini full moon) + 2 (December 2024) = 5.

3 is our Manifestation number (useful for all types of magic), and 5 has the go-to-itsness to break through nearly all barriers.

Once the Sun enters Capricorn, it squares the lunar nodes on 12/23. Our lunar nodes will leave the Aries-Libra axis for Pisces-Virgo at the end of January; this is the end of the line for this cycle. Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, can work too hard to keep the peace at times; where are you saying “yes” when you really mean “no” in your life? This might be one less thorn in an old wound or pass less painfully. Cardinal signs are the most likely to notice this transit.

It all comes full circle to our new moon at 09° Capricorn on 12/30. This lunation is still in a wide square to our lunar nodes and is also sextile to Saturn, echoing the energy of that early Sun-Saturn square. Both Saturn and the lunar nodes rule something you could classify as fate or destiny. But in a less woo way than many would use the terms today. Some things are meant to be. You live. You die. A volcano erupts. A major plague races across the land. Because you took your first breath at this exact time in that exact place, you will live through these things. Because our Moon touches on both, but not in exactitude, I would expect all of us to be contemplating our place in the universe a bit during this lunation. Both where we have been – our place in this existence – and where we are going.

What can we can do to help? (Helping is the best way to actualize Capricorn energy)

Our Capricorn new moon is a 2/4 new moon. 10 (Capricorn Moon) + 10 (Capricorn Sun) = 20 = 2+0 = 2. 2 (Capricorn New moon) + 2 (December 2024) = 4.

I have to giggle at this because I consider Capricorns to naturally carry a lot of “4” energy around with them. “4” is a very balanced number; it is all about structure. What are Capricorns doing if not shoring up their world to protect it from the elements? (as is their nature, being born in the deep winter months) When considering the power of the Number 4, I would ask you to think of the older man-made structures still standing. Did the Egyptian pyramids come to mind? That is “4” energy; it grounds in all directions; it has longevity. Again, this 4 energy makes this a great day to do magic or set intentions for the new year ahead. You may wish to set an intention that will become manifest by the Capricorn full moon on 7/10/25.

Mercury

For the first half of December, Mercury will be moving backward in retrograde towards 06° Sagittarius, where it will station direct under the light of our Gemini full moon. This is notable because Mercury is the ruling planet of Gemini; this will be a day highly invigorated with Mercurial energy. We should all realize by now that Mercury retrograde is business as usual and simply a change in the expression of our “normal” Mercury energy. I’ve written more about this particular Mercury retrograde here.

It’s worth also remembering that Mercury is in exile in Sagittarius because Sagittarius is the opposite sign of Gemini, the sign of Mercury’s domicile. In Sagittarius, thoughts can be demanding, and people can become convinced that their way of thinking is the only right way. We all need to watch out for intellectual elitism and educational superiority, two bad behaviors of Mercury in Sagittarius. Every lived experience brings a different story and background to the table, and we need each to function together rather than separately. This is the first hit on this lesson, and it will take on a greater meaning as our North Node enters Pisces next month.

This retrograde cycle involves big hitters Jupiter in Gemini and Saturn in Pisces. This circles back to what I said above about Jupiter square Saturn having a big part to play in the year ahead. We often visit troublesome aspects through Mercury first. This cosmically makes some sense because when presented with a problem, to proceed, the best course of action is usually to think something through. Keep in mind that in firecracker Sagittarius, Mercury does not seem inclined to take that kind of time.

It is an oversimplification, but Jupiter brings the Go/Expansion energy and Saturn the Stop/Retraction energy. This is interesting because Jupiter gets nothing but space to expand in formless, airy Gemini, which you would think it would like, but it really doesn’t (it is the sign of Jupiter’s exile), and amorphous watery Pisces does nothing to give Saturn the form it so desperately requires. Neither giant is at its best, making them more demanding. In this case, Saturn will always be the rock, and Jupiter is playing the role of the hard place.

Mercury has to pass through this vice three times. We’ve done this once while Mercury was in forward motion and when Jupiter and Saturn weren’t in a very tight square. The second pass happens early this month between 12/04 when Mercury opposes Jupiter (each planet in its exile, a nasty untethered opposition) and 12/06 when Mercury squares Saturn. We might want to expand during this time (or just jump out of the way of the rocks rolling downhill toward us), but there’s nowhere to go. This is the hole of Mercury’s retrograde cycle; I’d bet most people fall into it somehow.

Alternatively, you could be trying to get your ball rolling, and one thing after another keeps getting in the way. This kind of aspect works both ways, sometimes both ways in the same situation, which can be extremely uncomfortable.

That the Mercury-Saturn squares goes exact as Mars retrogrades on 12/06 tells us a lot about the character of that day. Just don’t. If it’s not Essential, emphasis on the Capital E, do it another day. Things generally grind to a halt for a reason. You can force the wheels or look for a rock in the tires. The choice is, of course, up to you.

And then, just in time for Christmas, we get our third pass-through of this rough t-square between Mercury, Jupiter, and Saturn between 12/24 and 12/26, this time with Mercury in forward motion. If you need to make amends for anything you said out of line earlier in the month, this is the time to come clean about it. The more you take responsibility for your own part in this mess, the less pressure Saturn will put on you. Always placate Saturn first; Jupiter is too all-important to care about turn order.

Things will feel a bit easier after Mercury’s retrograde ends mid-month, but Mercury remains in its exile all month long as it tracks its way all through its post-retrograde shadow in Sagittarius. The benefit of Sagittarius is that most Sag will tell the absolute truth as they see it. Sometimes, that includes coming clean about things, too. It should be no surprise that this will be a holiday season full of hard conversations; we can hope that at least they include honesty and words spoken from the heart. (Sag sometimes needs to be reminded they have a heart, but they will come in strong once encouraged there)

Mars will greatly overshadow this retrograde, but keeping it in the back of your mind is still important. If that person is just talking out of their ass, maybe make a snide comment to yourself, blame Mercury, and walk the fuck away. If it takes an extra two hours and a detour to get to Gramma’s house, that’s two hours less of talking to Uncle Eddie. Make sure you are sending those nudes to Tara in Sales and not Tara, your boss, if you know what I mean. Things tend to go awry during a Mercury retrograde cycle when we are on autopilot and not paying attention.

The easy and obvious anecdote to that is to pay attention. Standard Mercury retrograde advice applies: save often, double-check before you hit Send, and expect delays. Your friendly neighborhood Geminis and Virgos will be down for the count like they are every Mercury retrograde. The energy of all things communication, technology, and travel will be slower and deeper as Mercury wanders the low road. The more you can work with Mercury’s energy rather than against it, the easier your life will be.

Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow in early January. We will have relatively smooth sailing with our planet of communication until the end of March and early April.

Venus

Venus is almost two full signs ahead of our Sun and Mercury all month long as it begins the month in Capricorn and ends it in Aquarius. It is on its own journey, which doesn’t really include stepping in to help out with the inevitable squabbles that are bound to come up all month long as both Mercury and Mars retrograde in fire signs. Venus can be pretty far out there in the fixed air sign of Aquarius and, at times, even unattainable.

Venus makes two major appearances this month. First, Venus will conjunct Pluto at 00° Aquarius on 12/07. Pluto is our outermost planet and seems responsible for the erosion of all things through the lens of time itself. Of course, in Roman mythology, Pluto was the god of the Underworld. On a long enough timeline, all things end: nations, marriages, lives, and this world.

Pluto has never before been in the sign of Aquarius when astrologers knew of the planet’s influence, so we can only surmise what this new journey will bring to humanity. But we will taste it through a Venusian lens this month.

Then, on 12/12, Venus opposed retrograde Mars in Leo. This is pretty big break-up weather, but that shouldn’t be anything to worry about if you are in a safe and secure relationship. Leo and Aquarius aren’t that different from one another (Sun sign opposites are and should be ready as a pair), but where they differ is very stark. Where Leo is a traditionalist, Aquarius is pointed straight toward the wildest of infinite possibilities. Leo wants the world, and Aquarius wants the universe. They can become aligned but often choose not to out of ego and the inability to step off their respective daises.

Fixed signs aren’t inclined to move; that much is for sure, and this will go doubly for all Martian and Leo types during this time. If anyone is going to give an inch, it will have to be Aquarius.

Although I specified break-up weather, I want to clarify that relationships do not always involve love, sex, or romance. We are in a relationship individually with each of our family members, with our best friends and our worst enemies, and with our bosses and coworkers. American culture puts a huge emphasis on love and sex, but relationships exist of all kinds. We talk about wars between nations but rarely about wars within families or workplaces. The interplay between Venus (receiving) and Mars (giving) shows us how our relationships are flowing – even international ones between nations. Together, they give us an idea of how easy it will be to get along.

Oppositions are fidgety and difficult to read, even for the most seasoned astrologer. Sun Sign opposites can differ in specific ways but are also quite similar and desperately need each other. The conflicts that will arise during this time CAN be resolved, but it calls for somebody to step down and let the other by. Neither planet looks well poised to do so, which is generally unfortunate. We still get free choice, though; that’s the beauty of how the above is reflected below: the planets dictate that there will be conflict, but WE still get to choose what we do when it happens.

What is worth fighting for? Is it worth standing up to the one you love the most? Is it worth standing up to your family? Is it worth standing up to the world?

Many of us have to grapple with this right now, and I think many people will say resoundingly, “Yes.” I’m not here to give you the correct answers because my trials and choices will differ infinitely from yours.

What I am here to say is that there is a reason (in the skies and our lives) why people are going to choose Fight this holiday season, and we should think about both how we are making those choices for ourselves AND how we should respond when someone decides they want to fight with us. The big flex all month will be to pick your fights, but we all know that will be easier said than done.

I’m choosing to discuss conflict in the Venus section for a reason. Diplomacy plays as important a part in conflicts as Action, though culturally, we often downplay this. Venus in Aquarius can be talked into looking back at the rest of us earth landers, but only if you speak to her higher nature and propose something new and innovative. Venus in Aquarius doesn’t have time for momentary peace; it wants the whole package or nothing at all. The craziest idea might be the one that is the solution all month long.

Jupiter and Saturn

Our two intermediate planets, Jupiter and Saturn, play a major role in dictating the pace of our lives. Jupiter, the planet of Luck and Expansion, quickens everything it touches, while Saturn, the planet of Time and Consequence, slows or halts. We need both of these forces in our lives. They are moving in and out of squares for the next year.

The first square happens on 12/24 with Jupiter in Gemini and Saturn in Pisces. Neither planet is at its strongest here, but Saturn probably wins out due to Jupiter being in its exile. Expect things to be slow. But that’s also indicated by our Mars retrograde, so let’s say it’s extra slow. This first square includes Mercury in Sagittarius square to Saturn and opposed to Jupiter. This is a harsh mutable t-square, which will have everyone scrambling but few finding solid ground.

You may notice this repeating cycle of three squares (one in December and two next year). If it sounds awfully like a retrograde cycle, that’s because it is. This is happening because Jupiter (being the faster-moving sign) has caught back up to Saturn (by degree) and is now going to retrograde forward and back again thrice across Saturn’s path. Jupiter and Saturn will both change signs in 2025 in synch with one another – this will put a lot of stress on the line between Gemini-Cancer (for Jupiter) and Pisces-Aries (for Saturn). We will be in this push/pull cycle for a while; this is just the first pass.

Looking Forward

Hello January! Hello 2025!

The big deals in January will be our Mars retrograde and the changing of the guard as our lunar nodes slide onto the Pisces-Virgo axis. The big deal for the year is that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune all change signs in four months. As we move into each new sign in 2025 with our Sun, Mercury, and Venus, we are forced to confront all of our outer planets in unison. We are on the event horizon now.

The Details

12/1 – New moon 09° Sagittarius 12/2 – retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius trine Chiron in Aries, Venus in Capricorn trine retrograde Uranus in Taurus 12/4 – Sun in Sagittarius square Saturn in Pisces, retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius opposed retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, Venus in Capricorn sextile retrograde Neptune in Pisces 12/5 – Sun conjunct retrograde Mercury 14° Sagittarius 12/6 – retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius square Saturn in Pisces, Mars retrogrades 06° Leo 12/7 – Sun in Sagittarius opposed retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, Venus enters Aquarius, Venus conjunct Pluto 00° Aquarius, Neptune stations direct 27° Pisces 12/9 – Venus in Aquarius sextile North Node in Aries 12/10 – Sun in Sagittarius trine Chiron in Aries 12/12 – Venus in Aquarius opposed retrograde Mars in Leo 12/13 – Retrograde Mercury in Sagittarius sextile Venus in Aquarius 12/15 – Full moon 23° Gemini, Mercury stations direct 06° Sagittarius 12/18 – Sun in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces 12/19 – Venus in Aquarius trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini 12/21 – Sun enters Capricorn 12/23 – Sun in Capricorn square the lunar nodes, Venus in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries 12/24 – Retrograde Jupiter in Gemini square Saturn in Pisces 12/26 – Mercury in Sagittarius opposed retrograde Jupiter in Gemini 12/27 – Mercury in Sagittarius square Saturn in Pisces 12/28 – Venus in Aquarius square retrograde Uranus in Taurus 12/30 – New moon 09° Capricorn 12/31 – Mercury in Sagittarius trine Chiron in Aries

Do you like my work? You can support me on Kofi by tipping me, buying some art, or signing up as a monthly supporter. These help me keep the lights on and write astrology reports for free here on Tumblr.

#astrology #transits #energy update #December 2024

55 notes · View notes

dallasgallant · 6 months ago

Text

“Ain’t nobody call the Fuzz in this neighborhood cause they know better!”

This line sits with me as a very telling one that often goes overlooked, as it’s lost in the blur of energy before the rumble. Now most of this is going to be from existing knowledge but it did prompt me to dig into poor communities a bit more. The line is said differently between the Book and the movie but both are said within the idea of pride and community— when they’re caught up in the high of before a rumble, all the energy close to bursting out of them- repping their kind and going on this spree of yelling stereotypes and taking ownership. In the movie Steve’s much more happy and hyped as he yells it— in the book he also says it to correct Darry but in a more exact tone.

In a surprise to no one cops aren’t friends to poor communities. Economically poor, crime heavy communities tend to be over policed and often met with force, brutality etc. We know the boys get hauled in a lot, sometimes just for the assumption they did something. Cops pick out, they stereotype and often target within the neighborhood.

There’s a social aspect as well that’s not so direct to do with police action and that is the social isolation. Lack of resources, mistreatment and disapproval from those outside creates strong communities that further isolate. In a lot of ways it’s a helpful thing, mitigating the effects of poverty by having a social net and trust. A detail I like is that Darry seems to be a part of a phone tree when Pony was late the first time (not exclusive to poor areas but a great example of having networks.) People help each other out “help their own” building networks. A lot of work is under the table or can be barter based - questionable legality of work, building/fixing things, way of general running of life. Perception of law is different.

This isn’t to say everyone in the neighborhood has broken the law at some point but it’s likely a lot have at least something of questionable legality or more likely have family members who are greasers, criminals etc but will protect them. All of the guys instantly flock to go help Dally after he robbed the store and have been stated to hide and protect the guys whenever they do something like this. It comes back to the “help/protect your own” … no one in the neighborhood is calling the cops because they know what will happen if they do. A family member or friend might be taken in, potential brutality, people coming in and uprooting the way you live your life because it’s “abnormal” etc etc etc.

If someone does call the cops who do you think they’re going to help? A bunch of no good, greasy hoods or the nice boys from the other side of town with their khakis and new cars and clothes? It was probably a greaser who threw the first punch too… doesn’t matter their side of town or what its over, or if some Soc is standing over some bleeding greaser kid. It’s systemic. (An aside but this is also why it drives me nuts people would assume the boys to be bigots because they’re … lower class in the 60s… let’s do some introspection there. Added to the fact that, there’s a lot of overlap with racial issues, their community would likely be FAR more integrated than the west or even rest of the town. Not that their wouldn’t be ignorance but the assumption— that’s not the point of this post but a pet peeve of mine)

Anyways, the Outsiders often gets reduced to a simplistic “use vs them” of just Greaser vs prep like it’s one of the beach movies they watch. When in reality it’s actually a lot to do with class and societal expectations/conditioning.

—

Papers if interested Here and here

Either for general interest or potentially helping with writing. Ones an older study (which skimming and certain sections I found interesting), the other IS Wikipedia but it’s for the general idea

#the outsiders #outsiders 1983 #outsiders #steve randle #charecter study #outsiders meta #Curtis gang #essay #details

55 notes · View notes

sol-consort · 5 months ago

Note

Omg, I don't know if you remember, but that shepard cam girl/streamer au you did, I absolutely loved it!! I loved Shepard being so nonchalant about being tits-out in front of the crew, also them passing around the video and being embarrassed about making eye contact with Shep. You killed me!! That was so good

Oh god, this one? I wrote it while half asleep, didn't expect anyone to read it. I just checked it over again–damn the amount of typos. I fixed as much as I could rn. Hopefully, it reads smoother.

But yes! I still adore the concept and would love to expand upon it.

The army life + staying on a ship in the middle of the galaxy and sharing space with your crew has got to result in a lot of accidental nudity and flashing situations. Someone new on warships–like Tali or Liara might find it surprising, feel a bit more shy, while someone like Shepard, who was the Normandy second in command during Captian Anderson days got used to it by now.

Or maybe it's a human army thing? Quarians can't strip for first aid because it will only worsen the situation, Krogans have their thick skin and shells, and Turian skin has metal outer plating.

Only humans are this squishy, easily injured, easy to tear into. Mix that with the fact that we have a pretty good immunity system that gives us high tolerance to different microbiomes and the most genetically diverse genes in the Mass Effect canon–Mordin mentions it in ME2—it's not hard to understand why a human soldier would nonchalantly strip on an alien planet, in the middle of the battlefield, just to ensure the wound is treated properly.

But it's still hot—Shepard's total disregard to having your tits out on full display, chest heaving with every breath. Your crew desperately trying to maintain eye contact and not get distracted by the way your bare tits bounce with every powerful command and order you bark at them.

Biotics grant people healing abilities, at least ingame. It's not strange for someone like Kaidan or Liara to act as an emergency medic while on the battlefield.

Kaidan attempts to stay professional, stuttering more than usual as the raspiness in his voice becomes more apparent courtesy of his dry throat.

The tips of his ears reddish, summoning all of his will to keep his finger study as he pressed against your wound with the disinfected pad. Having to lower himself into your naked form, his clothed chest almost fully pressing against your own. The hiss you let out as your nipples touch the cold metal surface of his armour—it almost makes his heart jump out from his ribcage–barely remaining collected by the end of it.

Sneaking one lustful glance at your still exposed chest on the shuffle ride back to the Normandy before forcing himself to look away, feeling ashamed of his actions, excusing himself to his own sleeping pod the second the crew is back on board.

Anyway, so streamer Shepard hmm.

Miranda would quickly catch wind of this open secret and become your number one patron under a fake pseudo name. She keeps toning in each stream, even if she's working, simply setting the tablet on the table while she files the papers away. Dropping big stacks occasionally whenever you do something she likes, using the carrot method to subtly get you to act more and more slutty, exactly how she likes it.

Samara convinced herself that as long as she only watches—no touching herself, no writing a comment, no sending any money–then it's basically okay and doesn't break her code. She does, however, pay attention to your frequent commenters, checking their profiles, tracking their other socials... just in case one of them crosses the line. It is her job to make this world a safer place for everyone, right?

Thane–oh god, poor Thane. His own Siha...? Humans sure are uh... more adventurous than he thought they were. Drells are moved by emotions and romantic feelings more than sexual ones. He has very little interest in pornagrophy in any form of media because he just can't get off to a stranger, someone he doesn't love. But once he discovers that it is you in those videos, his commander Shepard, his siha. A flood of emotions wash over him. It becomes a boderline addiction.

Thane especially knows about the common human porno trope of fucking a drell because of the skin acting as both a stim and an aphrodisiac. He wonders if you'd be open to...having him on the stream for that? Just to boost your views...no other reason :) Definitely not to sate some deep primal instinct within him, the need to state his claim by fucking you in front of all of your adoring fans, he is such a tender gentle soul, he would never have those possessive thoughts, right?....right?

The poor guy almost voices this suggestion out each time you come over for a little chat.

Jack would be your top commenter, not even under a fake profile or a different name. Straight up Jack with her own profile picture to boost. Spewing filth and ordering you around like her own personal whore. Of course you don't pay her any mind and only oblige her requests after you make her beg.

Garrus wants to join you so badly. Picture this, the first ever human/turian streamers ever since the war! It will be a hit with both planets. Your profile will skyrocket in popularity. Especially if this is in ME1 where the human-turian intergalactic relationship was still strained and tense. Meditate the tension between your civilisations by letting him stuff you full with his gaint blue glowing cock <3 huh huh!? A million credit worth idea right?

#☆streamer reader #☆streamer au #☆smut #☆garrus #☆thane #☆Miranda #☆Jack #☆Kaidan #☆shepard reader #mass effect x reader #x reader #smut #☆samara #☆several characters

46 notes · View notes

kyywritess · 3 months ago

Text

I always imagined what my funeral might look like; and here we are.

PROLOGUE: KNOW ITS FOR THE BETTER

pairing: aged up!katsuki bakugo x fem!reader

summary: After six intense years in Japan, YN LN has firmly established herself as a renowned gym owner. She's known by many pros for her charm, strength, and boxing abilities. She has a strong support system and amazing friends... her life in Japan was everything she dreamed it would be.

But everything changes one fateful night when a mysterious package appears on her doorstep. No note, no return address—just a plain box wrapped with a single pearly pink ribbon. As she unravels the contents of the box, she’s drawn into a dark, twisted mystery that seems to reach deep into her own past—a past she thought she had buried when she left her old life behind.

word count: 1.6k

notes: eeee hi everyone! Im super excited to get this story started, I have spent countless days/nights brainstorming so many ideas and I absolutely fell in love with this version. The prologue and first few chapters may seem a little confusing, however I promise that everything will start making sense soon. I hope you guys end up loving it as much as I do!!

psa: I am a full time student, so I may not be able to upload as much as id like.

~~~

6 Years Ago

I always imagined what my funeral might look like; I just never expected to be watching it from across the street.

The air was sharp and chilly, biting against my skin and leaving a faint sting on the tip of my nose. A gust of wind stirred up a handful of dead leaves, auburn and gold, scattering them like ashes along the quiet road. Early winter was settling in, and with it came a certain lifelessness that matched the scene unfolding before me.

From where I stood, leaning against the cold metal of a black SUV, I watched my parents under the old oak tree, mourning the death of their only child. My mother’s dark coat fluttered around her as she knelt by the coffin, her head bowed. She had planned this funeral well—it was beautiful, graceful, even in its tragedy. Of course, it was. She had a way of making everything beautiful, even something as grim as burying her daughter.

My father, stoic as always, stood rigidly beside her. Not a single tear wet his cheeks, not even as the empty, bodiless coffin was lowered into the ground. As dirt began to pile onto the gleaming steel, he was the first to leave, pressing his lips tightly together, his face angled toward the overcast sky. I knew that look, the look he wore when he was praying without words. I felt his prayer, his silent goodbye, even from across the street.

“Hey,” a voice crackled in my ear, breaking the silence. The earpiece in my ear sputtered, static hissing through the line. “It’s time to go.”

I ignored the voice, lingering in this small, stolen moment a little longer. Turning my head, I spotted the hooded figure across the parking lot, watching me with an impatience I could feel even from this distance. Slowly, I pulled up the hood of my winter coat, cloaking my face in shadows. “Give me a minute,” I muttered into the mic, my voice low and sharp. “Or I’ll be the one standing at your funeral.”

I turned back to the cemetery, eyes fixed on my mother, who was still kneeling in the dirt, her fingers tracing invisible lines on the ground. With trembling hands, she kissed the earth, pressing her lips to the cold soil as if she could feel me through it, as if she could reach out and pull me back from wherever she thought I’d gone.

The urge to throw caution to the wind and run to her, to fall into her arms, gripped me with a fierce, aching intensity. It would be so easy to step out of the shadows, to rush across the street, and let her hold me one last time. But that part of my life was dead now, as dead as the girl they thought they’d lost.

I’d never see her again—the angel who raised me, the one who had loved me beyond measure. She would have been so proud of the woman I’d become, proud of my strength, my resolve. She would’ve told me I was selfless, that I was brave for walking away.

But if she knew the truth, if she knew I was still here, breathing the same air and treading the same streets, she’d curse me as the most selfish person she’d ever known. The monster who tore her child from her own arms, who left her to grieve an empty grave and a memory. I had stolen her greatest creation, and I knew it was a crime she could never forgive.

A fresh wave of cold seeped through my coat, slipping under my skin, and I shivered, feeling the weight of my decision press down on me. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I let them fall, bowing my head in silent mourning.

I love you, Mom, I thought, sending the words into the bitter wind. Please understand that I did this for you. For all of us.

And with that final prayer, I forced myself to turn away. The hooded figure across the parking lot was waiting, his shadowed face showing nothing but impatience. I took one last look at my mother, still kneeling by the grave, and swallowed the ache rising in my chest.

Then, before I could change my mind, I walked away from my past, leaving my heart buried under the dirt along with my former life.

As I walked across the parking lot, every step felt heavier than the last, like each footfall was anchoring me to the ground, begging me to turn back. But the figure waiting for me, draped in dark, weather-worn fabric, held out a gloved hand, ushering me into the next phase of my escape.

"Nice show back there," he murmured as I approached, his voice low and gravelly, barely audible over the hum of the nearby highway. His eyes, the only visible part of his face beneath the hood, glinted with something unreadable. Pity? Amusement? I didn’t care. I wasn’t here for his sympathy.

“I don’t need your commentary,” I snapped, ducking into the passenger seat of the car he led me to. The interior smelled faintly of old leather and rain, comforting in a strange way, though nothing felt comforting anymore.

He slid in behind the wheel, turning the ignition with a flick of his wrist. "Well, too bad," he replied with a smirk. "I’ve been doing this a long time, and you’re the first person I’ve ever seen actually show up to her own funeral."

I wanted to ignore him, but the irony wasn’t lost on me. "Guess I just needed to make sure they bought it," I muttered, casting a glance back at the cemetery as we pulled away. The oak tree, the line of mourners, my mother’s hunched figure—all of it faded into the distance, a ghostly tableau through the tinted windows.

He drove in silence for a while, only the sound of the engine filling the void. The highway stretched on, bleak and empty, and with each passing mile, I could feel pieces of my old life slipping further and further away. I didn’t ask where we were going. I knew the answer: nowhere. At least, nowhere anyone would think to look.

Finally, he spoke again, his voice softer this time. "You did the right thing, you know. Walking away like that… it’s not easy, but it’s the only way to stay alive."

"Easy for you to say," I replied, my voice barely a whisper. "You didn’t have to stand there and watch your family mourn you."

"No," he admitted, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. "But I know what it’s like to lose everything you care about in one choice." His gaze flicked toward me briefly, something haunted in his expression. "I wasn’t always… this."

I looked at him for the first time, really looked at him, noting the faint lines around his eyes, the way his jaw clenched as if he were grinding down old memories. But I didn’t pry. In this line of work, everyone had a past they preferred to leave buried. It was enough to know that, whatever he’d once been, it was long gone now.

We drove through the night, the car slicing through rain that had started to fall, droplets streaming down the windows and blurring the empty road ahead. I tried to rest, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window, but every time I drifted close to sleep, the image of my mother, broken and grieving by that empty grave, snapped me awake.

Eventually, as the first light of dawn seeped into the sky, he pulled into a rundown motel on the edge of some small town I didn’t recognize. The neon sign flickers in and out, casting a pale red glow over the empty parking lot.

“This is your stop,” he said, shutting off the engine. He turned to face me, holding out a small envelope with a single key inside. “Room twelve. Lay low here for a few days while we set up your next location. Use the time to… adjust.”

“Adjust,” I echoed, the word feeling hollow. Adjust to what? To living as a ghost, to being a stranger to everyone I’d ever known?

But I took the key, knowing I had no other choice. “Thank you,” I murmured, though the words felt foreign in my mouth. He nodded, his expression softening just slightly.

“Get some rest.” he said, his voice gentler than before. “You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way.”

Without another word, he climbed back into the driver’s seat, and before I could respond, he pulled away, the car’s headlights vanishing into the distance. I stood alone in the parking lot, clutching the key and feeling the first chill of dawn prickling my skin.

Room twelve was small and dim, with faded wallpaper and a musty smell that clung to the air. I dropped my bag on the worn-out armchair, running a hand over my face and taking a deep, shuddering breath. The enormity of it all crashed over me like a wave—my funeral, my family’s grief, the finality of leaving behind everyone I loved.

I collapsed onto the bed, the springs groaning under my weight, and stared up at the ceiling, tracing the cracks in the plaster. It was strange, how silent everything felt. No phones ringing, no familiar voices in the next room. Just me, alone, in a nameless place, a ghost of the girl I used to be.

Somewhere out there, the world was moving on without me. My parents would heal. My friends would remember me fondly. And I’d remain here, drifting from one safe house to the next, surviving on anonymity and borrowed names.

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo mha #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #pro hero reader #multi chap fic #multi chapter #mha #mha x reader #bnha #my hero academia #my hero acedamia #bakugo katuski #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader

18 notes · View notes

charmandabear · 1 year ago

Text

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by hamrikaa (@hamrikaa)

instagram

Leather and Lace

Summary

Lady Estelle wasn't expecting to fall for her tailor, of all people. But with everything under her control during the day, she's more than content to cede control to him at night.

Pairing: Astarion/F!OC Rating: E Word Count: 5.7k Tags/Warnings: unprotected sex, orgasm denial, safeword discussion, light bondage, d/s dynamic, p in v sex, vampire sex, biting, vampire bites, blood drinking, sexual tension, casual classism, AU, (sorta, you can make an argument), praise kink

Read on AO3

Something in me turned feral when I saw Hamrikaa's tailor!Astarion art and I needed to get this out of my system. It doesn't help that I work with costumes irl and I suddenly got a lot of opinions about Astarion and sewing.

I have more thoughts on this relationship, particularly with the class difference and power dynamics. I also really want a story with a plus size protag since I'm really tired of feeling like the implication is that all Tavs/OCs are the type 1 body. So let me know if that's something that appeals to you, or if you're interested in a longer version with more than just sexual tension and smut, lol.

Fucking Arfur.

It’s sundown on a Saturday and Lady Estelle Rosewinter is traipsing through the Lower City looking for a tailor. Arfur Gregorio had shown up to her masquerade several hours early already intoxicated. While trying to shoo him off the grounds, he had stepped on her gown, ripping the seam of the thigh high slit to a nearly obscene height. Now, as guests are beginning to arrive, she isn’t there to greet them and is rather passing shop after shop putting up their closing signs.

She could have just chosen a different gown as her handmaiden Celia had suggested, except that it took her so long to get into the damn thing. She thought that getting it fixed would take but a minute. It did not occur to her that, given the hour, finding an available tailor would prove so difficult.

Estelle is about to give up when she sees a dim little shop out of the corner of her eye. It’s not on the main drag, but rather up a quiet alleyway. But there’s no mistaking the sign.

Threads of Starlight

The door to the shop is clearly open, so she rushes in, desperate to speak with the proprietor.

“My apologies, I know you’re probably about to close, but I have an emergency, and I promise that I’ll pay handsomely for the inconvenience–” she cuts herself off as the tailor walks out from the back. He’s so much more attractive than she would’ve expected from someone of his station. His clothes are humble but understandably incredibly well-fitting, his trousers gently hugging his lean legs and the sleeves of his light linen top rolled up above his elbows, revealing pale, slender forearms. His silvery hair looks windswept and effortless, although Estelle knows it takes a practiced hand to get one’s hair just right like that. There’s a measuring tape slung around his neck and he looks briefly startled by her appearance before a practiced charm takes over.

“No need for apologies, Lady…” he leaves a gap in his speech for her to tell him her name. His voice is melodic.

“Estelle. Lady Estelle.” She tries to match his honeyed tone but her mouth has suddenly gone dry. He takes her hand and gently presses his lips to her knuckles.

“Lady Estelle. The pleasure is all mine,” he coos and a shiver goes up her spine. What on earth would a tailor need with this much charisma? Without letting go of her hand, he gracefully leads her up onto the fitting stand in the middle of the shop. She has danced with the finest nobility in Baldur’s Gate, and none of them were even half this elegant.

“Now please, tell me what I can do for you. I hope there’s nothing wrong with this beautiful gown of yours. Is it one of Galwen’s?” The way he looks at her makes her feel exposed, almost naked, despite the conversation literally being about her clothes. She clears her throat in an attempt to regain some composure.

“Yes, I’ve been going to her for years, but she’s tragically unavailable this evening.” Not that Estelle didn’t try. She sent three messengers and finally went to Galwen’s door herself, but she refused to open back up. Pity, since it looks like she’s lost Estelle’s business for good, especially if this one turns out to be as good as he looks. And gods does he look good.

“All the more fortunate for me that I stay open late,” he says in a low tone, and gooseflesh breaks out over Estelle’s arms. “Now, tell me darling,” he coughs at letting the casual pet name slip out, “pardon me, my Lady, how can I be your gown’s savior this evening?” Estelle hadn’t heard the rest of his sentence because her ears started ringing at the “darling.” Normally she would not take too kindly to someone in the working class speaking so informally to her. She’s beginning to feel lightheaded. Has she been hexed? Does this happen to any who cross his threshold?

“It’s torn,” she says in an uncharacteristically small voice. “Right here.” She lifts her skirt at the thigh slit, threads popping out of the seam. In an instant the tailor is on one knee, examining it closely. With him suddenly this close, all of her symptoms dissipate and are replaced by just one: desire.

She tries to shake herself out of it. Not only would anything of the sort be wildly inappropriate - given her status in Baldur’s Gate, an affair with a lowly tailor would be splashed all over Baldur’s Mouth within hours - this man is a consummate professional, and she’s certain that he would never return her affections. He must look beneath dozens of hems a day, this is nothing out of the ordinary for him.

He touches the fabric as he studies it, cool fingers lightly grazing Estelle’s skin. She gasps at the sensation, and he looks up at her sheepishly.

“I’m terribly sorry, I have poor circulation. My touch is always something nasty, I’m afraid.” Estelle shakes her head and finds anywhere to look but into those piercing red eyes.

“It’s fine, really. I have an important evening planned, so I’m a bit jumpy,” she lies through her teeth. He steps away to pick up a needle and thread from behind the counter. While his back is turned, Estelle takes the time alone to wipe sweat off her brow. This man is making her burn up inside and out.

“Oh really?” he sings as he’s back down on his knees, dangerously close to her upper thigh once again. “And pray forgive me, but I must reach up slightly in order to make this repair, if that’s alright. I promise, I’ll be the picture of a gentleman.” He looks up at her, waiting for her consent before touching her further. Estelle, worried what might come out if she opened her mouth, just nods.

He slides his hand between the fabric and her leg, pulling it out slightly so he can tuck his needle into the underside of the seam. Estelle bites down on her tongue to keep from moaning. She knows that she’s touch-starved, it’s been far too long since anyone has warmed her bedsheets. Between running a household, meeting with politicians and nobility alike, and her position in the Baldur’s Gate arts council, she hardly has the time. But this is ridiculous. A gentle caress from a man should not elicit this much heat between her thighs, and yet here she is, keeping them pressed together tight, the slight pressure her only relief.

His fingers move deftly, pulling the needle through the fabric with ease. He’s focusing on his work so intently, and Estelle watches him almost like he’s a dream. He begins tying off the thread, and before he’s complete, his eyes flick upward to meet Estelle’s.

“All finis-” he begins, but Estelle is so startled by the intensity of his gaze that she jumps, causing him to prick his finger with the needle. A tiny droplet of blood lands on the pale pink silk. The tailor jumps back, horrified, and immediately starts apologizing profusely.

“Oh gods, Lady Estelle, I’m so terribly sorry, look at what a clumsy little fool I am, gods on such a beautiful dress, too,” his words tumble out of him, all composure that was once there, now gone. She’s finding this flustered side of him possibly even more appealing than the cool and collected version. Her lady-of-the-house instincts kick in, and she addresses him like a new maid who has accidentally broken china while transporting it to the kitchen.

“Darling,” she breathes and lifts his chin with a finger. She can finally look into those crimson eyes, feeling herself regain the poise she’s accustomed to. “It’s nothing to worry about. Just a speck.” She swears she can hear his breath catch, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking because he recovers quickly.

“Perhaps, but I still feel terrible. This mend is on the house, as well as any alteration you might need done on another garment. And, ah. How to say this.” He looks flushed again, despite the paleness of his skin. “There is a foolproof way of getting one’s blood out of fabric, but it’s not the most, er, refined shall I say.” This piques Estelle’s intrigue.

“Really? And what way is that?”

The tailor shifts nervously, and she positively relishes in the trade in demeanors.

“This only works if it’s the one the blood belongs to, but if you can catch it straight away, then, erm, saliva will do the trick,” he says with a chagrined smile. Whatever Estelle was expecting, this is not it.

“Oh,” she responds, and suddenly she’s back to that lightheaded feeling. What is he proposing exactly? Whatever it may be, she’s certain it will involve his mouth in some way and she’s not sure how she’ll handle that.

“The next five alterations are free, I’m so very sorry, this is very uncommon while working on a garment. At least, I’m usually better at catching myself,” he adds with embarrassment.

“Uh, yes, whatever- whatever needs to be done. Thank you.” She peers down at him, willing herself to find somewhere else to look but unable to tear her eyes away. He pops a thin, pale finger in his mouth and swirls his tongue around it. She swallows loudly as he takes his finger out and dabs it on the slit of her dress, still achingly close to her thigh. He rubs at the spot, but evidently it’s not enough, because he then brings his lips to her dress and lightly rubs his tongue on the silk.

“Oh gods,” she can’t keep this moan from escaping her lips. If he can hear her, he doesn’t respond, blessedly. He pulls away from her, silver hair ever so slightly disheveled, and rubs at the spot with a handkerchief to dry it.

“Apologies again, my Lady,” he says with a frown, examining the spot for any remaining blood. Then he stands and they’re face to face, the few inches of pedestal putting their eyes at the same height. “I hope this doesn’t make you think any less of my skills as a tailor.” She briefly wonders what other skills he might possess before banishing the thought from her head.

“Not at all, er,” she falters, realizing she never asked his name, which is unlike her, she usually tries to learn the names of all of the people she contracts to work for her.

“Astarion,” he says with a bow.

“Astarion, yes,” she repeats breathlessly. “Well, Astarion, you came to my aid in a time of desperation, and I suppose there was a blood price to be paid.” He lets out a startled laugh, clearly not expecting her to make such a joke.

“That’s very clever, Lady Estelle,” he says, his eyes sparkling. “You were a pleasure to have on my fitting platform, I do hope to see you again soon. At least to make up for my absolute buffoonery.” He’s back to the confidently poised man who first greeted her when she entered the shop, and he plants another light kiss on the back of her hand.

“I assure you, the pleasure was all mine,” Estelle murmurs, almost hoping that he doesn’t hear her. “Oh, and Astarion?”

“Yes, my Lady?”

“Please. Call me Stella.

***

Several tenday have passed since Stella’s first meeting with Astarion, and she had visited his shop nearly every evening. It didn’t take long for her to admit her feelings; she couldn’t hide them even if she wanted to. Even when Astarion confessed his status as a vampire spawn, she wasn’t deterred. If anything, it aroused her all the more. Something happens to Astarion when he drinks her blood. The humble and subservient tailor disappears, and in his place is a self-assured and dominant man. Stella is more than happy to relinquish control over to him. She’s responsible for so much during the day, making decisions, telling people what to do, so there’s an appeal to having someone else take that role for once.

The moment she walks into the shop she’s met with the graceful gentleman. No matter how many times she sees him, that wicked smile sets a small ember in her belly that quickly spreads. Each point of contact lights on fire despite his chilled skin. A spark in her fingers as he pulls her forward, a flame on her cheek as he strokes it gently. In an instant he shuts the door and flips around the open sign. With the darkened windows and the door now closed, they’re plunged into semi-darkness and Stella feels a chill go up her spine.

Astarion wastes no time in pushing her against the door and kissing her deeply. He presses his body up against hers and she gasps into his kiss as he pulls her in closer by her waist. He slides his knee between her legs and she lets out a whimper. Astarion chuckles in her ear.

“Eager, aren’t we?” he coos, lifting her slightly with his knee putting a delicious pressure on her mound. She clutches the back of his neck and hair, wrapping her leg around him to get even closer. He hikes up her skirt to her waist and scoops her up so both of her legs grip his midsection. Keeping his lips locked on hers as she continues to devour him, he carries her through the shop and to one of the adjacent rooms where there’s a bed and two untouched glasses of wine sitting on a side table. The tailor’s quarters.

He throws her down on the bed and she looks up at him, cheeks and lips flushed, eyes glowing. Her typically neatly coiffed hair is mussed and strands splay out beneath her head like a halo. Astarion straddles her waist, pinning her in place, as he strokes her face.

“Tell me what you want,” he breathes, looking down at her with heavy lidded eyes. She grabs his shirt and pulls him in close.

“You know what I want,” she smirks, gaze flickering between his eyes and lips. He laces his fingers through her tousled hair and gently grazes his fangs over her neck, eliciting a sharp gasp.

“And you know I like to hear it,” he murmurs into her neck, and another full-body shiver goes through Stella. His breath feels chilling against her warm neck, blood pumping eagerly through her arteries. She grabs his face and forces him to look her in the eye – the last bit of control she has before she cedes it completely.

“Astarion,” she says slowly, measured and teasing, “I would enjoy it very much if you bit my neck, drank my blood, and then had your fucking way with me.” He chuckles darkly.

“Well,” he grins, a mischievous glint in his eye, “since you asked so nicely.” Stella lets out a moan as his fangs sink into her skin, the piercing pain soon giving way to a throbbing ache. His lips close around the wound, drinking in her delicious warmth, leaving her feeling blissfully lightheaded. She hums with pleasure as she curls her fingers into his silvery locks, hips unconsciously rolling into his, hungry for more contact. She can feel him growing stronger as her blood flows into him, his thighs tightly gripping her hips, keeping her locked into place.

Astarion pulls away from her before going too far and Stella lets out a small whine at the loss of contact. He’s out of breath, chest heaving as he licks the last of her blood from his lips. He presses two fingers to the wound on her neck to stanch the bleeding as she looks up at him, pupils blown wide with lust. Once he can feel that the blood is no longer flowing freely, he takes his fingers away and hovers them centimeters above Stella’s lips.

“Open,” he commands, and she dutifully obeys. She takes his fingers into her mouth and sucks on them lasciviously, the metallic taste of her own blood filling her mouth. It’s one thing to prick her finger and to suck on it to make the bleeding stop. It’s quite another to lap her blood of Astarion’s fingers, languishing in the vulgarity of the taboo. She yearns to hear his breath hitch as she works her tongue over their length.

He slides his fingers out of her mouth and grabs her chin, reversing the roles from moments before. He examines her face, turning it this way and that, like he’s inspecting a prized golden retriever at a dog show.

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” he lets out in a low tone. “Trapped underneath me, open and wanton, ready to let me do whatever I want with you. To you,” he adds on with an impish grin, and Stella squirms with anticipation. He swings a leg over her and stands by the edge of the bed, towering over her.

“Up now, on your knees,” he instructs and she scrambles to sit on her knees, still looking up at Astarion with lust-filled eyes. He reaches behind her and fully releases her hair from its loose braid letting it fall down the length of her back. He runs his fingers through her hair, humming as he does, “Good girl.” Her chest swells with the intake of breath as she leans into his touch even more.

“Undress. Quickly,” he demands. Her skirt is already up around her waist so she peels the rest of her dress off in a fluid motion. The corset provides a little more resistance, but even with fumbling fingers she manages to untie the laces and undo the hooks, letting it fall behind her. The sudden exposure to air makes her nipples go hard. Astarion smirks and cups one of her breasts in his hand, stroking her tit with his thumb. Stella bites back a cry.

“Shh shh shh. Not a sound,” Astarion whispers as he puts his lips close to her ear, continuing to fondle her. “I don’t want to hear you make a single noise, understood? Not until I say so.” He pulls away and locks his crimson eyes on her brown ones. Stella trembles, but nods silently.

“Good,” he breathes and slides her forward so that she’s sitting on the edge of the bed with her toes lightly touching the floor. He then lowers himself to one knee between her legs. He kisses up her thigh until he reaches her panties. He looks up at her mischievously as he hooks a finger in either side of the waistband, and he slips them off in a single fluid motion. Stella shudders with anticipation for what he plans to do next.

Astarion parts her legs and she can feel the cool air on the slickness between her thighs. He leans forward and takes her nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue lightly over the tip. She takes in a shaky breath, but she manages to keep any noise she might want to make under wraps. He looks up at her while continuing to work his tongue. She clenches the sheets as jolts of white hot electricity shoot through her body. He pushes her legs apart even further and leans in, the ties from his frilled shirt lightly brushing against her folds. She gasps and shifts her pelvis, simultaneously trying to get less and more contact. He grabs her waist forcefully to hold it in place. He snakes his way up so that they’re face to face, lips a hair’s breadth apart.

“Ah ah, no moving either. Are you going to be good for me? Will you be silent like I’ve asked?” he says in a light, sing-songy tone. Stella keeps her lips clamped together as she nods.

“And what will you give me if you can’t obey?” he purrs, brushing his lips against hers as he runs a thin, cool finger along her slit.

“Ah-anything,” Stella moans, turning her pleasure sound into a response. Astarion lets a smug grin play on his lips.

“Either way, I’ll get what I want,” he intones, and mercifully pulls his face away from hers. She releases a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. But it’s still only the beginning.

He lowers himself onto both knees and places a delicate kiss on her labia. She squirms but remains silent.

“My, you could drown a small army down here,” he says with an amused smile, and Stella just continues to breathe heavily, her chest rising and falling as she gazes down at the head of white curls between her legs. He runs the tip of his tongue along her folds, hands pushing out on her thighs slightly as he does. As he parts her legs further he exposes more of her, letting his tongue explore the newly uncovered skin. A cry catches in Stella’s throat and she slaps a hand over her mouth. His scorching gaze fixes on her and she lets herself fall back on the bed. If she watches she’ll be done for. Then again, not being able to anticipate his next move might be even worse.

Not being one to let her escape his torment, Astarion grabs Stella beneath the legs and yanks her toward him, letting her legs fall onto his shoulders as he continues to lap up her sweetness. She chokes down a whine, her breath quickening as she desperately tries to control herself. His tongue plunges into her and she bites into her hand with a hiss. With her pelvis rolled up so that he can get the best angle, he continues fucking her with his tongue, getting deep enough that the tips of his fangs press into her ever so lightly.

That’s what sets her over the edge. The smallest pinprick of pain along with all of the filthy things he’s doing to her with his tongue tears a scream from her throat, muffled by her hand. He stops and stands over her, backlit by the low lighting, her wetness reflecting off his devilish smile. He then grabs her by the throat, not enough to constrict her breathing, but just enough to pull her face up to his.

“What was that, my sweet?” he growls dangerously.

“N-nothing,” Stella stammers out, but Astarion just smiles.

“I don’t think it was ‘nothing,’ darling,” he breathes, acid in his voice. “I was very explicit in my instructions, was I not?” His hand tightens around Stella’s throat and she lets out a choked sound. It’s not a sound she usually makes. Astarion pulls his hand back slightly, concern creeping into his eyes. Stella looks up at him and nods.

Keep going.

They have a safe word for a reason, but if anything unexpected happens, Astarion still prefers to check in. He’s mentioned before that sometimes he’s worried that he’ll lose control, especially right after drinking her blood.

Stella finds the danger absolutely thrilling, but wants him to feel just as safe as she does.

Astarion drops her throat and pushes her down so her back is flat against the bed. Still between her legs, he pushes his pelvis against hers, pinning her wrists above her head. He’s still fully clothed, and the leather of his pants feels deliciously cool against her wet pussy. He puts one knee up on the bed, pushing her right leg up higher and spreading her even further. As unphased and indifferent as he seems, Stella can still feel his erection pressing into her, and she shifts to feel it more.

“You said you’d give me anything if you failed, correct?” he murmurs against her lips.

“Yes,” the word escapes on a breath.

“Then hold still.” Astarion stands and the sudden loss of all contact elicits a small whine from Stella. He flashes her a playful smirk as he walks over to the bedside table and pulls out two long strips of cloth. He climbs on top of Stella again, straddling her hips and squeezing lightly with his thighs.

“Wrists, please,” he commands almost nonchalantly. Stella immediately puts her wrists together and holds them out to Astarion.

“Good girl,” he coos and the praise makes her lightheaded. He tenderly wraps her wrists up in the silk cloth, making sure it's tight enough to prevent escape but not enough to cause any lasting damage. He then takes the other strip of cloth, a sturdier cotton broadcloth, and holds it to her lips. He ties it tightly behind her neck, keeping her from being able to open her mouth at all.

“Since you can’t control yourself enough to stay quiet,” he purrs, low and dangerous, “maybe this will do it for you. And I think,” he stands and walks over to the bed stand. He looks over his shoulder and orders in an apathetic tone, “Up dear.” She scrambles to her knees, wrists falling limply in her lap. He continues, “I think you need one more thing to remind you to whom you belong.” He pulls out a fine leather collar with a silver O-ring in the middle. Stella’s excitement mingles with genuine admiration for the craftsmanship. He turns around and lovingly closes it around her neck. He then slips one slender finger through the ring and pulls it up so her head is tilted toward him.

“How does that feel, good?” he asks lightly, and she nods, still desperate to please. He lets go of the collar and strokes her jaw. “Good,” he breathes, and she can see the self-control in his eyes. He wants to fuck her just as much as she wants him to, and it’s taking everything in his power to hold out. He leans into her lips as though he’s about to kiss her but stops just short of making contact.

“Now, before I decide precisely what I want to do with you,” he hums into her lips, “I want to make sure you can still tell me if I need to stop or slow down. If it ever becomes too much, I want you to snap your fingers, understood? Show me now.” Astarion keeps his lips achingly close to hers, but she does as he says. When he hears her snap, he grabs her face in his hands and kisses her roughly, sliding a dastardly knee between her legs once again. She longs to reach for him but keeps her bound wrists dutifully in her lap as his lips continue their assault on hers.

Once he breaks the kiss, he remains close and slides his hands behind her head and into her hair. “Good girl,” the words rumble low in his throat and Stella is grateful for the cloth that muffles the obscene noise she makes. He steps away and she’s finally able to see all of him as he pulls off the tunic, revealing his porcelain chest. She yearns to run her fingers along it, tracing the outlines of his muscles, but instead she just grabs a fistful of sheets beneath her hands. He pulls down his trousers, letting his already hardened cock free, and her pussy twitches in anticipation.

Astarion saunters back up to her and touches the front of her gag where a small wet spot is forming with her desire for him. He smirks and pulls her face down to his cock, running the tip of it along the broadcloth. She can feel it brush against her lips, and she again moans in anticipation.

“Don’t you wish you could take me in your mouth?” he breathes, and Stella presses her tongue against the inside of the gag, trying to make even minimal contact. He laughs cruelly. “Gods, you’re desperate,” he scoffs. “It’s a shame, because if you had been able to follow my instructions, I may have even let you ride me on top.” He pushes the tip of his dick into the gag one more time before pulling away, leaving Stella to squirm achingly.

“But instead,” he forcefully pushes her back so that she’s once again lying on the bed with her legs spread open for him. He crawls on top of her and teases her opening with his tip. She mewls in desperation. “You’ll have to contend with me doing whatever I want to this beautiful body of yours. I can slide in,” and he pushes into her, wrenching a gasp and whine from her mouth, before pulling out and letting his tip tease her again, “and pull out on a whim. You said I could do whatever I want.”

Stella is beside herself with lust. Unable to move her hands, she writhes her pelvis, trying to get even the slightest bit of contact. Her pussy is starting to burn from the pent up desire and she’s genuinely unsure of how much longer she can last like this. Astarion grins widely and his fangs sparkle in the low lighting.

“Shall I give you what you want, darling? What you so fiercely crave?” His slick tip is still dancing around her cunt and tears are starting to form in her eyes as she nods. He thrusts into her again and rips the cloth from her lips before whispering sharply into her ear.

“Then I want to hear it all,” he hisses. “I want you screaming my name as I fuck you.” With his permission, she cries out, all of her stifled energy finally releasing.

“Oh gods, Astarion, fuck me please,” the words spill from her mouth uncontrollably. He starts pounding into her and she knows after all that time teasing her, she won’t last long. The heat of him sliding in and out, the stretch with each thrust, fills her with a fire that threatens to turn into an explosion.

“Fuck, Astarion, please,” she whines, moments away from climax. She wraps her legs around his waist to get him in deeper, and now it’s his turn to let out a low moan. He continues to slam into her, the sounds of their mutual pleasure mounting.

“Look at me,” he growls, and she struggles to keep her gaze locked onto his crimson eyes. He looks so beautiful above her, silvery hair getting slick with sweat, panting as he continues his smooth rhythm. She can feel her orgasm building as her cries grow louder. He knows she’s close, too, and once again he flashes a fang-bearing smile.

“Come for me, darling,” he groans, and that sends her toppling over the edge.

“Gods, Astarion, yes!” she screams as she comes, and his follows shortly after. With a final thrust, he releases into her, his cock pulsing exquisitely. He looks down at her with an uncharacteristically shy smile and kisses her as he pulls out.

Both of them are out of breath as he collapses onto the bed next to her. Stella’s limbs feel light as though she just downed an entire bottle of dream mist. She rolls onto her side to look at Astarion, who appears to be equally intoxicated. Without a word she holds her wrists up, and he laughs lightly.

“Ah, yes, you might want those back,” he croons, and uses his teeth to pull out the knot, and the silk falls away in one fluid motion. Her hands are so close to his face that she cups his chin gently, just content to look at him.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispers, and he turns a kiss into her palm.

“I could say the same thing,” he purrs as he looks up at her through his lashes. “Tea?” He pulls up the plush blanket that had been folded neatly at the end of the bed and wraps it around Stella’s shoulders. She snuggles into it and pulls it closed around her, then nods. He plants a quick kiss on her forehead and walks over to fill the kettle hanging above the hearth. Stella admires his silhouette, backlit by the light of the fire. He’s lithe and sinewy, his sculpted muscles built for dexterity more than strength. Her eyes rake over his broad shoulders, the dip of his lower back, the curve of his bare ass. He turns his head to look at her over his shoulder.

“Yes?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Nothing,” she hums, “just enjoying the view.” He smiles as he leans over the blanket cocoon she’s swathed herself in and kisses her lips softly, gently. He’s always particularly tender with her after a session like that, and Stella is grateful for it. She loves being able to see both of these sides of Astarion. The affable tailor eager to serve, and the dangerous dom claiming his power. Her fingers lightly dance on the collar he put on her. She likes the idea of belonging to him. A pity she couldn’t wear something as conspicuous as a leather collar in her daily life.

Astarion returns with a steaming mug, and as though reading her mind, pulls a long jewelry box from the drawer of the bedside table.

“A companion piece to your collar, if you so wish,” he says in explanation. “You’re under no obligation to wear it, of course, but I thought you might like a little reminder of me everywhere you go.” She opens the box and nestled in the satin is a delicate silver chain with a small ring in the center. Her jaw drops slightly as she marvels at its beauty.

“Astarion, how did you–?” she begins, but he cuts her off.

“It pays to be a well-connected artisan, darling,” he says with a shrug.

“Will you put it on me?” Stella asks in a light voice, and he looks delighted. She lifts up her hair so that he can unclasp the leather collar and replace it with the silver necklace. His fingers brush against her neck, lingering on the puncture mark he left earlier.

“Although perhaps you might want to sport high-collared dresses for a bit,” he admits with an apologetic grin. Stella turns and kisses him, cupping his face and gently running her thumb along his jaw.

“Well thank the gods I have a tailor who can make me new gowns in all the latest fashions,” she smirks. He climbs on top of her to kiss her more deeply, their naked bodies touching in a way that’s intimate, but not sexual. She could melt into his flesh, his kiss, his breath, and never want to change a thing.

120 notes · View notes

timetravellingkitty · 8 months ago

Note

Hi. I'm desi but I live outside Asia and have no idea what a caste is. (I swear I'm not whitewashed; my parents just never bring up this caste thing in particular.) Why does is sound like some weird hierarchy situation?

Also how do I know if my last name is a caste name, so that I can change it or something

that's cause it IS a hierarchy situation. caste is a social group that is fixed, you are born into it is is within a system of social stratification. you are expected to follow a certain lifestyle or a certain occupation based on the caste you are born into (eg. brahmins are at the very top of the hierarchy and their occupation is priesthood). certain (read: lower) castes are considered impure and are subject to caste atrocities by upper castes, the practice of untouchability being one of them (so that they won't pollute the upper castes)

it is very likely that you belong to an oppressor caste honestly if you want to know what caste your surname belongs to just google it (do keep in mind that a lot of oppressed caste people change their surnames to caste neutral or upper caste surnames to escape discrimination)

to get started on learning about caste, I suggest the equality labs website (they are an anti-caste organisation led by oppressed caste individuals based in the usa) and this google doc on anti-caste resources complied with the help of panjabicommie on insta

#asks #anon #caste

32 notes · View notes

rileytwenty · 1 year ago

Text

Her Price

(Geralt x OC)

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

Summary: Former brothel worker, Mary, is traveling with Geralt and Jaskier. In an attempt to contribute more to the group, she does something rash that forces a confession out of Geralt. Big angst.

TW: prostitution, rough/low-key abusive sex, bite marks/bruises/hickies left from said sex, dom! male, arguing, swearing

Mary had joined Geralt and Jaskier on their journey about a month ago. Since then, the trio had fallen into a nice rhythm. At each town they visited, Mary’s job was one she completed while the boys waited on the edge of town. First, she would go into the market and use her “charms” (breasts) to persuade the merchants to give her a discounted price for any supplies they needed.

Next up was the inn, where she would flirt her way into getting the innkeeper to give her and her “friends” a cheaper rate. Only then, once prices were negotiated low enough, would the boys come into town. This system worked without a hitch nine times out of ten.

Occasionally, the innkeep would be too upset by her friends turning out not to be a couple more pretty women –one of them was a Witcher, for fuck’s sake– and he’d kick them out. Though, this had only happened a few times, and Mary has become careful to use more vague language about her travel companions.

Geralt would go out and fulfill any contracts whilst Jaskier performed at the local inn or tavern. This is where they got their coin from.

Sometimes, Mary’s job would also include patching up Geralt after a bad run-in with a creature. She knew a fair bit about fixing injuries, seeing as her mother had been her town’s Healer growing up. Before she died, that is, and Mary was forced to join a brothel to keep off the streets.

As disgusted as people were about her profession, she didn’t mind it much. Sex never meant anything to her except for a steady income, and it was easy with most people. However, it has left her in unsafe situations at times, so she was glad to be avoiding those.

Ultimately, she was more grateful for the sense of adventure she received from traveling with the pair than she was for the opportunity to leave the brothel.

Just an hour ago, they’d arrived at a small town in Velen, and the usual plan was going swimmingly. Mary had gotten all necessary supplies with coin to spare, and had negotiated their stay at the inn for nearly half price! A new record for her. Excited to share the news, she went and retrieved Geralt and Jaskier from the outskirts of town.

“Good job! What did you do, sleep with him?” Jaskier joked, throwing an arm around her shoulders in celebration.

His statement made her slip away in a cloud of thought: did he silently want her to? Had that been his expectation all along? She could probably get the price even lower if she did sleep with the crooked-looking innkeeper. Truthfully, she didn’t do a whole lot of the heavy-lifting, and maybe this was Jaskier commending her for what he thought was her finally pulling her weight. However, she didn’t get a chance to be uncomfortable for more than a moment, because in typical Jakier fashion, he just kept talking.

“Damn, Mary. I think that’s your best bargain yet! You hear that Geralt? We have coin enough for all the ale we can drink! Mary, will you drink, too? You never do, and I find it quite strange. Of course, if you don’t want to…”

She had learned to tune out his ramblings after a week or so. He hardly ever sought a reply, and a simple humm sufficed when he did.

After tying up Roach, they finally meandered into the inn. The innkeeper merely laughed at the sight. “You’re one tricky lady, you know.”

“Oh, thank you, sir. I do try.” Mary took a small but dramatic bow.

The three of them all headed to their separate rooms to put away their belongings.

Geralt quickly headed off to fulfill a drowner contract, leaving Jaskier to make some coin downstairs.

Mary had no job left to do, and she was starting to feel useless; Jaskier’s joke had wedged itself into her thoughts.

How much did she contribute, really? Enough to not put a strain on the two? They had been awfully tired lately, the both of them.

Guilt overwhelmed her. Of course, they were too decent of men to actually ask her to sell her body, but perhaps it had been an expectation all along, or the reason they brought her along in the first place — the thought of more coin, and free inn visits. Had she been a burden, not using her skillset to provide for the group the way they did?

Geralt was always saying that he needed new armor, or supplies to upgrade what he had, but it was too far out of their price range. She considered the idea of him being able to better defend himself if only they had more money. Increased coin meant a decrease in his injuries.

Well, it was decided. She needed to start making as much coin as the other two did.

There was no brothel in this town, so no one would see her as competition if she went downstairs and did some business.

Most men in the town lived there and didn’t really travel, she had discovered through talking with a few. Some were married, but quite a few were single or waiting for a girl to reach maturity.

If they liked the young ones, she could accommodate. She knew how to look up through her lashes and act a little dumb.

After making her way around the room, swaying to Jaskier’s music, she finally spotted her target. He was looking at her almost predatorily, and his clothing quality told her he had the money she needed.

She approached, a sadness in her glossy eyes as she took a seat right beside him.

“Hello, missy.”

“Hi.” She made her voice nice and sweet and sent him a smile.

“You alright, there? Lookin’ awfully distraught.” He noted, turning in his chair to face her.

“Mm-hmm. ‘M fine.” She let a tear fall.

“Don’t give me that crap, sweetheart. Tell me the truth.” He was commanding it of her, his pupils large in satisfaction.

She sniffled. “It’s just… it’s… I don’t want to complain, I-“

“Honey, it’s okay. You can tell me.”

She stared at him with her big doe eyes before relenting.

“It’s my ma. She’s sick. I’ve been trying to make enough money for her medicine, but it’s so hard, trying to make coin in this region. I’m not strong enough to help on the farms, and I-“ She let her voice crack.

“Oh, it’s alright.” He rubbed her back, but it was awfully low to be comforting.

“I don’t know what to do.”

He paused to think while she wiped her eyes. “Well, I could help you out.”

“Really?” She shot her head up in excitement. “Thank you, I-“

“But not for free.”

Exactly as she foresaw, word for word.

“W-What do you mean? I don’t have anything to trade, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, we’ll come to an agreement, I’m sure. You have a room here?”

“Uh-huh.”

He tsked at her. “Use your words, now.” She wrote that in her brain for later, it would certainly come in handy.

“Yes. Yes, I do. The third one on the left is mine.”

“Good.” He placed his hand on her jaw in encouragement. “Let’s head up there, shall we?”

Faking her virginity had always been easy, especially when she was younger and could tell men who were passing through that it was her first day on the job. Now, she had to lie a little more complexly, but it still wasn't hard.

The man had surprising stamina, and they went for at least three hours. Long enough for Geralt to come back.

He and Jaskier shared their evening experiences as they trudged up to their rooms. The noises from down the hall stopped them both abruptly.

“Who’s in there with her?” Jaskier asked quietly.

“I don’t know. You’re the one who’s supposed to have been with her all evening!”

“I saw her flirting with quite a few of the men. However, I didn’t know she took one to bed.”

Geralt was shocked to hear this— Jask knew of his feelings for her.

His tone was piercing, “And you just let her?”

Jaskier turned to his companion with his brows raised. “Let her? She’s not a child, Geralt. She may sleep with whoever she pleases.”

“I-“

“And don’t you complain about those feelings of yours. You’ve had plenty of opportunity to express them, and you’ve been too chicken shit. These are the consequences.”

Jaskier was done with Geralt’s emotionally-constipated bullshit and slammed the door to his room.

Geralt’s hearing was superior to most, meaning that he could hear every sound escaping her lips.

So many times had he imagined those sounds, had he prayed that he’d get to hear them. Now that they rung upon his ears, he hated it.

He wanted to draw those beautiful moans out of her. Not some Velen low-life who would be too wrapped up in his own pleasure to truly care about hers.

He didn’t mean to keep listening, but he was frozen with indecision. Though, the more he did, he could hear the slight inflection in her tone that indicated the fakeness of these sounds. She was incredibly good at hiding it, but it was there.

Why was she in bed with this man if she was not enjoying herself? He had to remind himself of Jaskier’s words. If she wanted to stop it, she would.

He couldn’t take another minute of hearing their bodies collide, thus he stormed out of the inn. He couldn’t sleep next to that.

Instead, he found himself in the stables with Roach. She was giving him a look as though she knew the situation, and was judging him for it.

“Fuck off, I know.”

He couldn’t be mad at Mary, he really couldn’t. He had given her no inclination of his desire for her. She was completely unaware of the pain she was causing him. It was not her fault. The only person to blame here was himself.

He would tell her in the morning, he decided.

She would never sleep with anyone but him again. She would never feel the need to, he would make sure of that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning, Mary woke up sore and bruised. The man —whom she never learnt the name of, as he preferred “sir”— had been a rougher man than she’d taken him for. He liked to see her cry.

Nothing she couldn’t handle, but still draining. All in all, it was not one of her favorite nights.

However, she didn’t mind it so much after finding the large sack of coin on her nightstand, far more than she expected, and definitely enough for Geralt to buy new armor with.

She squealed in glee, dressing herself and packing up quickly. When she exited her room, Jaskier was just about to knock.

“Oh, Jask. Good morning!”

His eyes widened at the sight of her skin littered in marks. “Jesus, Mary! Did that man do that to you?”

She followed his line of vision down to her chest, arms and neck, only now noticing how bad it looked. “Oh, God. I look like the whoriest whore around.” She tugged on her coat, despite it being a humid, late-spring day.

“Doesn’t that hurt? Mary-“

“Please, Jask. This is nothing. I’ve had men do far worse. Anyway, where’s Geralt?”

Jaskier hesitated to respond, but eventually let her drop the subject.

“He left yesterday, haven’t seen him since.”

“Left? To go where?”

“Away, I’d guess. You were pretty loud last night.”

Mary scoffed. “Oh, please. I’ve seen him sleep in a roaring tavern before.”

Jaskier only shrugged, not finding anything to say that wouldn’t reveal what was Geralt’s to tell her.

She shoved past him to go find the witcher. With Jaskier in tow, she stepped outside. Where would he have gone? Not far, likely.

“Geralt?” She called.

It took him a minute to get to his feet, but he soon emerged from the stables.

“Mary, I have something to tell you-“

“No, Geralt, you listen! We spent coin on that room, and you decided not to sleep in it because of a little noise next door? I doubt it’s something you’ve never heard before, and now you’re going to be complaining about your back for days. Seriously, you couldn’t just cover your head with a pillow?”

He was astounded. “It… wasn’t the noise keeping me awake.”

“Whatever, it hardly matters now.” She was determined to get back on track with her joy. “Here,” she thrust the sack of money at him, “When I was out yesterday, I saw an armorer by the market. I stopped in to see if anything was cheap, and they had the supplies to upgrade your Griffin armor. Expensive, of course, but not a problem now! Or you could wait until the next town, see what they have. Up to you.”

Both Jaskier and Geralt were puzzled, but then in a moment it clicked.

“Mary… where did you get that?” Jaskier was walking on eggshells with the tension floating around.

She was growing offended by the expression they both wore and she scoffed. “I’ll give you one guess.”

No guesses were needed. They knew.

Geralt spoke. “Look, you’re welcome to sleep with whomever you please. It’s just-“ He was struggling, he always had trouble expressing things like this, “I want to be the only man in bed with you.”

Mary blinked. Once, twice. “What?”

He couldn’t look her in the eye. “I should have said something before. I lacked the courage, and that’s on me. If you don’t feel the same-“

“I do. Feel the same.” He didn't mind her interrupting this time.

“You do?”

“Mm-hmm.” She was smiling so widely she was at risk of her face cracking open.

Officially breaching a grin, he pulled her to him by the hips.

Cupping his face, she brought his lips down to hers. She was so indescribably happy to be held by him that she smiled through the kiss.

His arms roamed up her sides and back, and as his hand slid across a bite mark on her shoulder blade, she flinched.

Geralt pulled away, looking into her eyes for answers.

“It’s fine, sorry.” She dismissed, leaning in to return to the kiss, though he didn't allow it.

A glance at Jaskier’s concerned face confirmed to him that she was injured. “Mary, are you hurt?” He moved to take her coat off to get a better look, but she stepped back.

“It’s alright, nothing that won’t heal up in a few days.”

He looked to Jaskier, as Mary was clearly not going to discuss it.

“Jaskier, don’t you say a fucking word. It’s none of his business. None of yours, either.”

Geralt only had to glare at Jaskier for him to crack and jump behind the witcher. “Sorry, Mary, but he scares me more. When I walked into her room this morning I saw that she was covered with… marks, of all kinds, from her… erm, nighttime activities.”

“Marks? From- Mary, did he do something to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t agree to. The cruel ones are rare, but they always pay the best. Worth it, I’d say.”

Geralt shut his eyes for a moment, willing his feelings down. “Show me.”

She didn’t want to, for worry that he would think differently of her. “Why, so you can humiliate me? Call me a whore?”

“No. I just want to see.”

Sighing, she pulled off her coat. He was going to think of her what he was going to think of her. What everyone thinks of her.

Geralt was transfixed with every spot on her skin. Bruises in the shapes of hands, crescent shaped indents from fingernails, scrapes, teeth imprints. He gently grazed his hands over them.

“Why would you let him do this?” He was full of sorrow. She had allowed someone to hurt her, “For what? Coin? We had plenty.”

“I suppose it was foolish. I felt like I had to contribute something, to earn us money the way you two do, but sex is my only skill.”

“Mary.” So much emotion pushed into one word. Defeat, mostly. He’d failed to make her feel taken care of.

Geralt was too overcome with emotion, so Jaskier took over the speaking. “I wish you’d have spoken to one of us. We’re doing fine, you didn’t need to do this to yourself. You’re contributing perfectly well, getting us those bargains at the markets and inns. Saving coin is just as good as making it.”

Geralt’s eyes were still staring into space, but he spoke. “I’m so sorry, that you thought you had to accept that man’s abuse for money. In future, I’ll take more contracts.“

“No! No. The whole point of me wanting to buy that armor was that I wanted you as safe as possible. Which, with you being a witcher and all, I know isn’t much, but armor is crucial to your fighting style. Better armor means less injuries for you.”

“That’s not something you should be concerned about. Promise me, you’ll never let this happen to you again.”

She looked into his eyes, which still couldn’t focus on her, and saw the pain. The regret, the guilt.

“Okay, I promise.” She grabbed his hands in hers, drawing his attention back to her. “The only hands on me from now on will be yours.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, lightly so as to not disturb her bruises. She looped hers around his neck.

Geralt was still distraught. “You won’t regret it, I swear.”

She wanted to lighten the mood. “Oh, you’re that good, huh?”

Geralt let her cheer him up. “Being a witcher does have its perks.”

#geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x oc #the witcher #witcher #oc #angst #major angst #geralt #geralt z rivii #confession #secret pining

111 notes · View notes