murderturtles

[murderturtles]

This is an incredible story.

A man assassinates a former prime minister and gives his demands to the government who turn around and go “Actually yeah, these are quite a good ideas.”

[murderturtles]

the wildest derek dieworkwear series of events so far and that’s saying something

[murderturtles]

I wish there were medieval fantasy written by people who actually found the medieval period interesting

[murderturtles]

Quarters only, please [x]

(done in procreate)

[murderturtles]

the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????

i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.

so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.

[murderturtles]

“It’s ya boy Guzma” is probably the smoothest translation of ore-sama I’ve ever seen (makes eyes at Hetalia and TTGL) but it’s also unfortunately hilarious wwwww

[murderturtles]

Likes to charge reblogs to FUCKING cast

[murderturtles]

i have a runny nose so im gonna stop by the pharmacy and pick up a curved greatsword to behead myself with

[murderturtles]

here comes the airplane

[murderturtles]

Tumblr's algorithm has decided that I occupy the intersection of a very specific Venn diagram.

[murderturtles]

maybe if we torture this kid harder our lives will get even more awesome

[murderturtles]

On god the funniest possible response to this post

[murderturtles]

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

[murderturtles]

there will never be another headline that comes close to comparing with this

[murderturtles]

[murderturtles]

A very shy maned wolf stopping for a visit at a monastery in Brazil for a bite to eat provided by monks. Because of their super long legs, they walk more like giraffes than typical canines. Maned wolves pose no threat to humans. 

(Source)

[murderturtles]

SANTA CLARITA DIET - No Family is Perfect (2.01)