#fishing for haiku bot

[sylphrene]

Because why use your own arm when you could instead twist someone else's?

[an-atlas-or-other]

Ye bastards got me once, true, but you’ll rue the day I come back for you

[addystuffs]

fish anon..... the world needs you...

[random-bakwaas]

time to fight it out nerds

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Alright! I've got all the matchups in place. This is going to be spread out between this post and 3 other reblogs of it to get around the mention limit. Maybe I'll render these all nice and pretty one day. Maybe...

Matches will be between the blogs next to each other. For instance, @hellsitegenetics and @orca-detector will be matched up, then the winner will go against whoever wins from the @postanagramgenerator and @amongus-text-detector match and so on. You get the picture. Any odd-numbered blog will be against the one below it, and any even-numbered blog will be against the one above it.

Side 1, Part 1

@hellsitegenetics

@orca-detector

@postanagramgenerator

@amongus-text-detector

@jesus-holding-your-fave

@stereosexuals-daily

@cookieclickercookieeater

@same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

@reallybadblackoutpoems

@word-problem-posting

@cantheywinthehungergames

@official-boob-posts

@ofishal-fish-posts

@mammalidentifier

@latinare

@duothelingo

@doyoulikethissong-poll

@thoughts-of-eel

@colourpickingpride

@soniclesbianflags

@cantheykillmacbeth

@sealsdaily

@one-time-i-dreamt

@the-magenta-painter

@the-haiku-bot

@identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

@littleguysdaily

@can-they-lift-thors-hammer

@official-linguistics-post

@libraryofbabel-postlocator

@i-say-ok

@i-make-things-into-faces

[artificialverse]

Tumblr celebrities, an incomplete list:

A gay werewolf fucker

A trans cyberterrorist

Jeff

A bald guy with a keyboard

Constable Frozen

Car-identifier

Someone pretending to be OSHA (twice)

A haiku detecting bot (thrice)

Mister J (no not that one)

Furry/Doctor Pikachu

A demon Vtuber

Nimona author

Neil Gaiman and Lynda Carter

A fish

Weird Al and his imposter

honorable mentions:

A chatbot designed to be a tumblr user

human pet guy

moreos guy

Tumblr modder (xkit guy)

A fake old folks home for dogs

The restaurant chain Denny’s

Iguanamouth

Weed smoking polycule

A comic artist who got their bike stolen

A famous cringe YouTuber that rebranded so well he no longer exists.

A plant, obviously

An atheist with cancer and his religious brother.

Taylor Swift’s secret tumblr blog

“In my butt” author

dishonorable mentions

Another famous Youtuber

Gaud themself

Qualifiers:

Misha Collins

Ea-Nasir

Bendy Dick Cucumber Patch

[mobanjaree]

gimmick accounts on here annoy me to death. i dont think theyre funny at all. the purple one the alphabet one the fish one even haiku bot. they all have me frowning and i think the trend needs to die out

[youjusttryandstopme]

I'm so glad I chose Tumblr as my Shizpost "social media" of choise as my god The others are dead and dying Jesus christ

(I do use insta, but that mainly for art posting reasons and the fact most people I know use that or discord for chatting)

Anyways Hello Redditors, welcome welcome, I'm sorry your old home is falling apart. Only found out about it a couple days ago when I randomly opened it up and saw it was- not happening.

Enjoy our very favorite Hellsite which is not doing that, familiarize yourself with the favored news agency of choice: The Destiel meme, and make yourself look non Bot-y by either customizing your blog or making a post (and maybe pinning it) that makes it clear your not a bot, just a simple reddit refugee who doesn't fully Get It yet.

If you want to get in the loop with things my reccomendations are: Haiku bot (the only bot we like here) because of the wide variety of bots that it finds, the Destial Tag, because finding out world shattering news from a meme like Destial is just the best, and the following accounts: @/one-time-i-dreamt, @/i-am-a-fish, @/biggest-gaudiest-patronuses, and @/pukicho

Search tags to your hearts content, remember that this is a void to throw thoughts out into (sometimes the void answers back), and likes are just for visual sake, reblog what you really like and also, many many side blogs can be made if it doesn't suit your main :P

[mallowmaenad]

You’ve Unlocked Tumblr Chaos Challenge Mode ‼️

> Anon Hate now deals 50% more damage

> In order to gain followers you must now meet a benchmark on each new post in likes

> Creating a sideblog now causes you to lose 500 followers

> You can no longer scroll up on your dashboard

> The Dread Hunter will pursue you throughout the website, killing them grants you access to their exclusive Great Demon Razor weapon which has a flat damage output that is higher than most weapons whose damage scales with your attributes and guarantees an instant kill on a critical hit.

> Porn bots and Superwholocks are more likely to follow you

> Post investments have 20% less yield

> Every 3 months you will have to defend yourself against a callout post

> Failing to reblog a post demonstrating your support will cause 200x more reputation loss with the respective faction. (For example, failing to reblog “Reblog if you support gay rights!” will now cause -1,400 reputation loss with the homosexual faction.)

> Fishing scam ai in direct messages is significantly improved.

> Failure to follow terms of service now results in a permanent IP ban by Automattic

> Shock damage is 70% more effective against shields

> Crates drop less ammo

> Haiku bot and Portmanteau bot are less likely to appear

> Promanteau bot is now immune to the “Bitch Fartman” spell

> “Kung Pow Penis” spell now requires 100 Mana points even when using collaborative casting.

> “Mishapocalypse” event is reinstated and spawns waves of Nephilim Fanatics for the duration.

> Snoozing Tumblr Live now drains 10 Mana every minute for as long as you sustain the effect.

> Funny ads will now be more rare

> If your general Reputation goes too low, your chosen faction’s tumblr tags will be search banned and deemed sexually explicit.

> You can now only take levels in catgirl URLS starting at level 32

> “I Like Your Shoelaces” special move now has a smaller timing window for a perfect parry.

> The Block button can only be used 20 times. Additional uses can be earned by turning in items dropped from enemies defeated in public arguments on your dash at the bounty board.

> Having blogs with default icons now cause you to rapidly lose followers, reputation and vitae and will draw more aggro from mobs.

> Tumblr Premium users have 80% more health

> You can only make 15 original posts and 30 reblogs in one day, afterwards you can expend Raid Tokens dropped during Raid Bosses.

> When your post is reblogged, the original text can be edited by the reblogger.

> “Favorite Taste: Cock” reputation status effect now has an endless duration.

> Gun accuracy is reduced further while moving or using equipment without the necessary skill level.

> Tiktok reposts are more likely to appear.

> More infighting in Lesbian subfactions

> Your areas of effect are now indiscriminate

> “Reclaim a Slur” activity has a higher chance of failure

> Creating a gimmick account is now locked behind faction access (Autist class can bypass this if they have the correlating Special Interest perk)

> Chance for your nipples to present as female any time you post a picture of them

[fangirl-nadir]

Finding Tumblr blogs to follow: a beginner's guide

So! You finally made that Tumblr blog you've always wanted. Congratulations, and welcome to the hellsite! First things first, let's help you find some people to follow.

Tip 1: Unfollow Staff

No one follows staff.

Tip 2: Start with the iconic blogs

Pukicho, Biggest Gaudiest Patronuses, and One Time I Dreamt are by far the most iconic Tumblr blogs and are well worth a follow! Some other local celebrities include I Am a Fish, Amtrak Official, Neil Gaiman, and Strange Aeons.

Tip 3: Try a gimmick blog!

The Shitpost Calligrapher, Haiku Bot, and Alphabet Completionist are examples of gimmick blogs: blogs that have a specific, well... Gimmick. Whether it's turning your posts into beautiful calligraphy or counting the letters used in your post, these guys are always a source of fun!

Tip 4: See if creators you follow elsewhere are on Tumblr

You'd be surprised how many people have a secret Tumblr!

Tip 5: Scroll through some tags and see if anyone stands out to you!

This is how you'll find the majority of people to follow. Type something you like into the search bar and start scrolling! If you see a post you like check out the OP's blog to see if you like the rest of their content. If no specific blogs stand out but you still want to keep up with the topic, follow the tag!

Tip 5 1/2: Don't be afraid to block people and/or filter tags

There are a lot of annoying people out there and it's ok to block them. Similarly, if Tumblr keeps showing you content for something you're not interested in you can actually block the tag! Sick of people posting about FNAF? There's a quick and easy fix for that!

[ademainalors]

Doing this

1: I’m afraid my name will have to stay ademainalors ;)

2: 20

3: 3 Fears

The afterlife

Immortality

Mortality

4: 3 things I love

Anime

My Dell Latitude E6410

Cartoons that cannot technically be called anime

5: 4 turns on

Power

Intelligence

Strange hair

Complex understanding of trauma

6: 4 turns off

Misogyny

Homophobia

Clingyness

7: My best friend

Brie or Kyle, although to be honest, I haven’t talked with many humans in the past several months, so at this point, both individuals probably only consider me as a regular friend

8: Sexual orientation

Pansexual

9: My best first date

Aromantic, I never knew, but they were all awful

10: How tall am I

5″ 5′

11: What do I miss

When Zack used to do house rules DND with me, Kyle and Armstrong

12: What time were I born

Heck if I know

13: Favourite color

#ff0000

14: Do I have a crush

I tend not to pay my crushes much mind now that I’ve come to terms with my aromanticism, but when Nathan joked about how he’d want to fuck someone in the server closet, in my head I was like, name a time

15: Favourite quote

16: Favourite place

The Japanese Library

17: Favourite food

Pasta

18: Do I use sarcasm

No, never, not me ever

19: What am I listening to right now

The silence of the void (that’s not an edgy band name... yet)

20: First thing I notice in new person

Their relationship to power

21: Shoe size

10 I think? Fun fact, I religiously wear crocs, and crocs actually stretch out with use, so my crocs have been growing with my feet.

22: Eye color

Hazel

23: Hair color

Brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

I was talking to Kyle about Queer Eye, and I said, “You know what they would say to me if they saw me, they would say I wear clothes that nobody would ever wear because no clothes express my gender, and then they would fix that” And he told me I was perceptive. My favorite shirt is an MPR Volunteer shirt that has no gender.

25: Ever done a prank call?

Nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

What Adrien says to Marinette at the end of the umbrella scene, “See you around” in french

28: Favourite movie

Tangled, but in Spanish

29: Favourite song

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

30: Favourite band

Baths

31: How I feel right now

Overwhelmed

32: Someone I love

My parents platonically

33: My current relationship status

Single

34: My relationship with my parents

Good

35: Favourite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

I’d prefer to keep those Japanese bathhouse privileges

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I shared a blog with Kyle on Blogger and he wanted it moved because Blogger sucks

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I’m irritated with my last ex, as my last relationship made me realize I was aromantic and that I was doing painful amounts of emotional labor and downright fraud in the name of normalicy

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Nope

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My dad? Platonically

42: When did I last hold hands?

In my last relationship

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 Minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

I haven’t shaved them in the past three years!

45: Where am I right now?

My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Nobody, that’s why I don’t drink

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

At a reasonable level

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

If I’m being honest, no, but there are several things I would tell people about IRL if I were asked

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Is the opposite of non-binary cisgender, or another non-binary? Doesn’t matter, the answer is no

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Too much

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

My dad, platonically, two weeks ago

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I wouldn’t care

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

My lab partner for this goddamn lab report

55: What is something I disliked about today?

My lack of productivity

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Justin Trudeau

57: What do I think about most?

My time efficiency

58: What’s my strangest talent?

Mechanum: I can execute complete instructions perfectly, and I can memorize sets of complete instructions. So if I get a set of complete instructions, I can master the task associated. I am very good at extremely divergent tasks due to this.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

Having to attend SCSU

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind. Pansonic HMC150s are the bomb .com

61: What was the last lie I told?

I told a group of people that I was sick. I’m actually just anxious and depressed, which is it’s own kind of sick, but I implied influenza.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chat.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Aliens probably, but they likely formed at the same time we did and are either too far or lackluster like dolphins. Ghosts, not really.

64: Do I believe in magic?

I bought a spell from a witch down on money, I just like witches though, I’m not wiccan

65: Do I believe in luck?

100%

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Clear night skies?

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Sedra Smith, Microelectric Circuits

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

No

69: Do I have any nicknames?

None that I like, except 雨

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Concussion, 6th grade skiing accident

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Mostly save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

Nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

Yup, my blankets are pink, should change 74: Favourite animal? 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Ochocki-Becker

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Get it together, by the Go-Team 78: How can you win my heart?

You can’t. I’ll be your QP if we make a utilitarian symbiotic domestic partnership. I’ll fuck you if you’re sexy and can somehow manage to not trigger memories of my sexual assault, but like, that won’t happen.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Rest in Pieces

80: What is my favorite word?

です

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I’m not here to start a war, though one of them is haiku bot

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

We are not Trump

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Pausing time

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Tell me about your sexual history

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Me standing next to a no parking sign in Japanese in a small town in rural Minnesota

87: Had sex?

Yes

88: Bought condoms?

Kind of

89: Gotten pregnant?

No

90: Failed a class?

I have more W’s than a web address but no F’s

91: Kissed a boy?

Yes

92: Kissed a girl?

Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

No

94: Had job?

Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Actually, surprisingly, Kyle. We’re cool now.

97: Had sex in public?

No

98: Played on a sports team?

Yep, 3rd grade, Softball. I wanted to play baseball and I hated it.

99: Smoked weed?

No

100: Did drugs?

No

101: Smoked cigarettes?

No

102: Drank alcohol?

Confirmation wine, a sip of champaign that I spat out, a sip of gin that I spat out. I can taste the death of my mouth microbiota when I put alcohol in my mouth

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Vegetarian

104: Been overweight?

Nope

105: Been underweight?

Probably

106: Been to a wedding?

Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

まいにち

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

はい、アニメを見ます。

109: Been outside my home country?

Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken?

I don’t have one, but I found out a FWB hated non binaries. It was kind of crushing.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Yep

112: Broken a bone?

Nope

113: Cut myself?

Sort of, TW: I pick at the skin around my toenails, sometimes with pushpins

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

Yep, Houston

116: Fly by helicopter?

No

117: What concerts have I been to?

The FIRST Robotics concert

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yep

119: Learned another language?

はい、すごし

120: Wore make up?

Yeah, I hate it

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

TW: Is rape virginity

122: Had oral sex?

Yeah, it sucked.

123: Dyed my hair?

No

124: Voted in a presidential election?

Hillary Clinton

125: Rode in an ambulance?

Yes, concussion

126: Had a surgery?

Wisdom teeth removal

127: Met someone famous?

Dessa

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Probably

129: Peed outside?

No

130: Been fishing?

Yes

131: Helped with charity?

Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush?

Yes

133: Broken a mirror?

Yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

Cash

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

Adopting teenagers, they’ll have names already, probably one, but maybe more if they’ve got sibs, Despicable Me style.

136: Was I named after anyone?

Something

137: Do I like my handwriting?

No, it’s an abomination

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

Piglet

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Assasination Classroom

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Minnesota doncha no?

141: Play any musical instrument?

Used to play trombone

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

Scootering accident

143: Favourite pizza toping?

Alfredo sauce instead of tomato sauce

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No 145: Am I afraid of heights?

Yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

No 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

The midterm two days ago

148: What I’m really bad at

Reading university textbooks

149: What my greatest achievments are

Student Senate President

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

I was in a political argument and some bitch brought my yellow teeth into it

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Take the payments over time, put in a bank account, pay off people’s loans on the contidition they try to pay off other people’s loans, put solar panels on things, buy a tesla

152: What do I like about myself

My hair 153: My closest Tumblr friend

@dragon-in-a-fez 154: Something I fantasise about

Being dictator of the US 155: Any question you’d like?

42

[oujibat]

So my “fish are angels with gills” post has blown up after that haiku bot reblogged it and I’ve been getting people calling me a moron and saying fish have no souls, etc

Also, to the jackass who tried to pull the ‘my fish ate it’s babies which means fish are evil’ shit; if you weren’t a terrible pet owner and actually took a minute to research how to properly care for your animal you would know that fish fry should almost always be separated from adults because they have different food and environmental needs besides the basic fact that they need to be separated until they’re too big to be eaten by adults, but sure, I’m the moron here for enjoying fish husbandry as a hobby and caring about my animals, sure.

[d3lighl4]

Nurse: you're very close now, do you have anything you want to say now? Me on my death bed: Cheryl Tunt and Pamela Poovey having a ranch style wedding out of a barn, Ray and Krieger walk the girls down the Aisle because they have no family other than the office folk. Jermain and Baboo are the ring bearers even tho baboo gets loose and pisses on Mallory and Jermain is a fish. Cheryl does a full blown montage like during the body odyssey about love and finding peace when finding the love of your life. Pam stars ugly crying, and recites a haiku that Cheryl yells "Gay!" At the end. They kiss. Its super sweet, everyone cries, even Mallory and Archer. Their reception includes a fight club, Krieger gifts them a new choke bot. Pam and Cheryl dance wildly across the dance floor and kiss over and over again. Before the nights end, Cheryl says she wants to really be Miss Kong and so Pam lifts her up like a princess and they ride off into the moonlight ontop of a cow, drunk as shit, and so in love. Nurse: (sobbing) shit man