#first thing I've really been happy enough with to consider publishing too

[the-hype-dragon]

rereading a first draft I wrote back in Feb/March and seeing how the writing got better as I went is pretty interesting... still pretty happy with it overall but yes this baby needs a rewrite before I share it lmao

[bumblebeehug]

Together Forever

Summary: Natsu and Lucy being consent in each other's presence, and a little bit of Happy being a sweet baby boy. Notes: This is the first fanfic I've written and posted, and since I don't wanna re-read and edit stuff I'm just gonna close my eyes and hit publish :P Ao3 - FF.net

***

“Come on Natsu, at least steer your vomit away from me!” Lucy cried out, watching the sick dragonslayer destroy yet another pair of shoes. She was seriously considering putting plastic bags on her feet if Natsu couldn’t gain control over his flow anytime soon.

“Luuushi...” Happy said with a groggy voice, barely keeping his eyes open. The exceed had used up almost all his magic powers this mission, making him unusually tired - and unexpectedly cuddly towards a certain celestial mage.

“Come here Happy.” Lucy patted on her lap, letting the blue cat curl up into a purring ball of blue fur. The low frequent rumbling actually helped her calm down too. She would just have to deal with his shedding and the dirty shoes later - it’s not as if she could do anything now anyways.

Natsu himself was laying on the bench opposite to his best friends, watching them regain lost energy and magical power from the exhausting mission. It was sweet watching them both being calm like this. Of course he truly didn’t mind their friendly bickering. Happy felt comfortable enough with Lucy to show all sides of him to her, both the emotional and the snarky part. He remembered how loud and reductant Lucy was in the past, with her big and crazy reactions to almost everything that happened. Shouting every time Gray stripped or kicking Natsu out of her apartment. She never wavered. Once again, he didn’t actually mind that part, in fact, he really liked it. She had courage to be herself no matter who she was encountering, and her cute reactions often made the enemies favour her. However, she had gotten a lot calmer and sweeter the last two years. It must be that thing they call growing up, huh?

While in the middle of his thoughts, the train started moving extra much, making the salmon haired boy hurl up a mix of whatever he had eaten before boarding the hell-transportation. He really hoped Wendy could learn a new anti motion sickness-spell soon - life hadn’t been too kind since that Troia spell stopped working on him.

***

“Finally!” Natsu kissed the ground in delight of finally leaving the train, being back in their hometown. Lucy ignored him, as usual, and took care of their baggage. After all the years she had known him, he was still just as embarrassing to be out in public with. How hadn’t he picked up on social cues yet? Happy was still asleep in her arms, so after struggling for a bit she finally kicked some sense in Natsu, somehow without waking the cat.

“Come on and help with the bags you moron!” She scolded quietly, not wanting to disturb the sweet little animal who conveniently used her left boob as a pillow. “You don’t want to wake Happy, right? He deserves some rest, you know.”

Natsu obliged to the blonde’s orders. She was helping him nurse Happy back to full health after all. Grabbing the baggage, they soon headed back to Lucy’s apartment. The sun had started setting and he really craved that soft bed of hers.

Shortly after Lucy had met Natsu, she noticed an odd behaviour with him. Usually when walking back from missions with the entire Team Natsu, the air was filled with discussions. Natsu and Gray bickering in the background, Erza talking strategies with Lucy and Wendy, Happy and Carla talking about fishes or something, and then the occasional bickering between Lucy and Happy. When it was only Natsu, Lucy and Happy though, it was as if a switch had flipped. They rarely spoke, only leaving the sounds of Happy’s purring and Natsu and Lucy’s footsteps in the air. It was never uncomfortable though. They already knew what the other thought, and even if they didn’t know, they never felt the need to rush any conversations. This happened more and more frequently after the Alvarez Empire war, when Natsu had said those words to her. “We’ll be together forever, right?” Not any huge words, not anything complicated - just, the truth. Why would they need to talk all the time when they had forever in front of them. Everything would come in time. Lucy had decided to believe that.

“Hey, Lucy…”

… Did she jinx herself?

“Can we stay at your place? And can you make us some food, pleaaaase?”

Nevermind.

“Whatever, you guys just do what you want anyways.”

***

When they stepped into the apartment Lucy immediately went into the bedroom, carefully dropping off the knocked out exceed on the foot of the bed.

“I’m taking a quick shower, get the meat out of the freezer and defrost it while I’m gone, will you?” Lucy didn’t bother doing that stuff herself - Natsu knew her kitchen almost better than she did, he could figure it out.

Once she was in the shower she finally relaxed. A bath would undeniably be better, but right now she was more focused on getting all the dirt off her body. The mission they had gone on was fairly easy for Lucy and Natsu - the only one who had a hard time was Happy. The bandits had some type of flying ability, and the only way to defeat them was to get close. Therefore, Happy had to switch between them while they regenerated their powers. Lucy had gotten a bit worried when she saw Happy’s fur getting wet from sweat, but the exceed had just shaken her off, staying strong to the end of the mission. Lucy couldn’t help but admire him. If only Carla saw these heroic moments, maybe they would have gotten further in their relationship by now.

That reminded her of how protective Natsu could be. He hated it when Carla was rude to Happy. He didn’t show it, but Lucy saw. His twitching legs and furrowed eyebrows were of course big clues. Yet he still was very supportive. Every time Happy felt down because of Carla's cold behaviour, Natsu cheered him on, giving him money to buy an extra nice fish for Happy to give away. Lucy really had to give them better gift ideas though, once they had tried giving Carla a live eel instead, and she had ended up transforming into a human to run away faster. Who knew she was afraid of eels? And who knew she was that fast in her human form.

Lucy chuckled for herself at the memory. Yeah, she should definitely tell Happy to give her flowers or tea or something. She could at least spare Carla the terror of any other horrible sea creature.

After a quick round of shampoo, conditioner and body soap, she finally got out of the shower. She tried running a brush through her hair in an attempt to sort out the knots, but she quickly gave up. She would just have to brush it out when it dried.

When she left the bathroom, only dressed in a towel, she was met by a nice smell and the sound of sizzling coming from the kitchen.

“So, what are we having?” Lucy asked, secretly happy with getting a meal cooked for her. She would say that she was glad that it was free for a change, but she did buy the groceries with her own money after all.

“Curry ‘n rice,” Natsu answered, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrated.

“Sounds nice. I’ll put on some clothes, then I’ll take over. You can take a bath or something while I finish it,” Lucy offered, once again not waiting for an answer before going into her bedroom where her wardrobe stood. She picked out a thin crop top and a pair of shorts in a soft material, before heading back into the kitchen.

“Now shoo,” the blonde said, dragging Natsu away from the bubbling pot.

“Wait! I didn’t turn on the stoves!”

Lucy grunted loudly.

“Whatever, I’ll fix it. You stink, here’s a towel, the opened medicines are to the left on the sink.”

Who knew the fire dragon slayer had such a passion for cooking? Lucy was pretty sure that was something only she knew about. Team Natsu never really had dinner the same way at Lucy’s. The only possible person who could have known about his cooking skills would be Lisanna, but to be frank, he didn’t really have enough control over his fire back when they played house. Happy knew about this skill of course, but then again, how could he not know about it? They lived together for god's sake.

As the clock struck 10pm Natsu finally left the bathroom, dressed in only a pair of chequered pyjama pants.

“Do you know where my t-shirt is?” He asked, lifting one of the pillows that laid on the couch.

“Oh yeah, it’s in the washer. Seriously, if you keep leaving your sleepover clothes here then you at least have to learn to wash them regularly!” Lucy scolded half heartedly, blushing slightly at the sight of her half naked best friend. It’s not as if she was immune to his muscular torso.

“Whatever, it’s not as if you ever come close enough to smell it anyways,” Natsu murmured as he made his way over to the table.

“Do I need to remind you that I also use the couch that I accidentally happen to OWN. If your clothes smell, then the couch will smell too. You seriously have to break your habit of sneaking in,” she groaned, knowing that her words had no effect whatsoever. “Nevermind that for now, did you see if Happy has woken up?”

“Nopfe, he’f ftill refting,” Natsu grunted, mouth full of hot curry.

“I’ll cut up some fish for him later then, hopefully he’ll get his energy back after a good meal.” Lucy pondered for a second, wondering if she maybe should wake him up anyways. He never liked missing meals and then having to eat alone. Lucy sometimes wondered if it was because he was unaccustomed to being alone, seeing as he always had the guild or Natsu around.

The mage decided to let him sleep on for now. Happy could wake one of them up if he wanted a snack in the middle of the night. It was already late enough for Lucy, so she sat down, finally digging in on the homemade food.

“Delicious!” She beamed, letting out a satisfied sigh before continuing letting the hot curry warm her up from the inside. Nothing tastes as good as a newly cooked meal after a long mission.

Natsu watched as the woman in front of him made a happy little dance before digging in. He had already eaten his portion of the food - almost four times the amount that Lucy had on her plate, and sat now and just watched as Lucy regained energy and warmth.

This was one of his favourite moments of the week. After many days sleeping in tents, constantly being on alert and never even getting the chance to clean themselves up, the smell and familiarity of Lucy’s apartment really made him feel safe. Sure, he might be a bit barbaric on missions, itching after someone to fight, not really caring about living conditions while he actually was on the mission, but getting back to this smell always made him shocked by how tense he had been the last week. Finding this type of ritual of sleeping the first night after a mission with Lucy, brought a sense of relaxation he didn’t know his body or mind possessed. Just coming home, chatting with Happy or starting cooking while Lucy took a bath or shower, and then himself taking a shower either while Lucy finishes or starts the food, or just after the meal. There was still one problem in Natsu’s opinion though. He still slept on the couch. After all these years she still wouldn’t let them share bed unless she was drunk or if he snuck in during the night.

While Lucy’s apartment smelled great, there was just something else he felt when he shared bed with her. Sometimes he got a boner, he was not going to lie, she is very attractive after all, but most of the time he felt something else. It could be called love, but for some reason that just didn’t sit right with Natsu. Love was great, no doubt, he had felt it lots of times, to his father, to his guildmates and to material things, but sleeping with Lucy was… Comforting. The combination of the sound of her soft breathing and her steady heart, and her cool skin against his hot, and then that special smell that he only could smell when they got really close. All this made him feel… Safe. Happy. Reassured. Content. If family could be an emotion, that is what he felt.

Even better was when Happy curled up in the middle of them, making Natsu able to smell and hear him too. Sometimes, when Natsu felt bold and cuddled really close to her, Happy would lay above their heads or close to Lucy’s belly. That’s when he truly slept the best.

Natsu knew that he wouldn’t exchange these two people for the world.

“Ya done?” He grinned, watching Lucy swallow the last forkful of food.

“Yep, that meal was exactly what I needed!” She purred, patting her belly. Natsu stood up and started putting away their plates.

“We’ll wash them tomorrow,” he croaked, filling the pots with water so that they would be easier to clean the next morning. Lucy just agreed as she began cutting up that fish she had promised Happy. When she was done Natsu had already removed all the dishes from the table.

“Let’s go to bed now,” Lucy suggested, a big yawn escaping her lips.

A small part of Natsu didn’t want to go to sleep just yet. His wounds were itching and he didn’t look forward to leaving Lucy’s presence. With Happy in Lucy’s bed he didn’t have anyone to cuddle with.

So, Natsu did what anyone would do in his situation. He took the lead, grabbing Lucy’s wrist on the way to her bed, only to gently fall into it and pull Lucy closer, wrapping his arms around her.

“N-Natsu… Hey... “ The mage was blushing furiously at his actions. Not that this was the first time he had done so, in fact, it happened more and more regularly nowadays.

She didn’t dislike sleeping in the same bed as Natsu. Quite the opposite to be honest. When she was cold she found herself cuddling up closer to his chest, feeling safe in his muscular arms. When it was hot outside they actually kept a good distance - but they always touched in one way or another. Legs tangled together, feet touching, or Lucy’s personal favourite - hand holding.

She vividly remembered that hot summer night in June, shortly after her birthday, when Natsu had climbed into her bed again. Natsu didn’t understand why she kept turning away and moving from him - he didn’t understand how unpleasant the summer heat was for normal people. He was a fire dragon slayer after all. In the end they just laid in bed, back to back. Natsu really wanted to turn the other way and hold his best friend close, but he knew that she was uncomfortable in the heat. Lucy didn’t know if it was her or Natsu who had grabbed the other’s hand in the middle of the night, but she remembered how important she felt that morning. He had respected her boundaries and still found a way to hold her close. It was heartwarming. Except the part when she saw that Happy had woken up early and raided her fridge in hope to find some yummy fishes. They ate breakfast at the guild that morning.

However, keeping that night in mind, Lucy finally gave in to Natsu’s demands.

“At least let us get under the covers first,” she mumbled, squeezing out of Natsu’s bear hug. She pulled Natsu to his feet as well and then crawled under her bedsheets. Natsu stood beside her bed, pouting in disappointment. Lucy giggled for herself before lifting up one side of the blanket, inviting him into bed. Natsu immediately lit up, jumping into bed with her, almost giving in to the temptation to cuddle up in her arms and sleep on those soft, squishy boobies. Once again, who could blame him for wanting to do that - not only would it be soft, warm and comfortable, but he would also be able to hear and feel the beat of her heart.

Of course, he didn’t do that. Natsu wasn’t a pervert (sometimes he wondered if he was though), but ever since Lucy showed up in his life his hormones had been acting up a bit. He had once felt a similar way for Lisanna, but nothing really blossomed on that part. Now he found himself accidentally seeing or feeling the curves of Lucy’s (sometimes naked) body and he actually got a boner from it. He had heard Gray and Loke talk about relieving themselves if the tension got too bad, but he only tried it once. He felt bad about it later though because he had thought some nasty thoughts about Lucy, so he never tried it again. No, Natsu wasn’t actually a pervert. He could go almost a month without thinking about Lucy in a non-platonic way, but one week every month Lucy smelled different. Wondering about this odd occasion, he had actually asked Levy about it. She had gotten all flustered and thought he meant that Lucy and the other girls smelled period blood, but then he explained that that wasn’t it. It came almost a week before that, and only from Lucy too. Levy explained that it possibly had something to do with her ovulation - the perfect time to impregnate a woman. This time Natsu had gotten flustered instead. He didn’t want to impregnate Lucy! Not then anyways. Not now either. He was far too young to have kids, and besides, it was his best friend they were talking about.

No, Natsu wasn’t a pervert. He never acted on these thoughts. He knew that Lucy wanted her lines between friends, best friends and lovers to be clear. Natsu didn’t mind being all over the place. He could easily bleed over all the lines, just them being them was enough for him. But Lucy wanted them to stay as best friends - not because she didn’t want to be with Natsu, but she just wasn’t ready to take that step yet. And Natsu respected that. He wasn’t sure of course if she ever wanted to have a romantic relationship with him - how could he be? But he had faith that they both would come around some day and show the world that relationships don't need to be complicated - they just needed to be happy together, and if kissing, cuddling, chatting or raw sex was the source of it, then so be it. In Natsu’s opinion anyways. Lucy still wanted things a bit more traditional, but it was clear that as long as they made each other happy it didn’t really matter if they had ever gone on a real date or not. They didn’t mind being more than friends, less than lovers.

Now, since Natsu respected Lucy, he didn’t use her chest as his pillow - even if it tempted him to, but instead he laid down beside her, faces facing, and he did the one thing he had never done before. As Natsu settled down beside Lucy, they had locked eyes. Lucy’s big brown eyes were dazy of tiredness, and her lips were turned upwards in a little smile. Natsu had a crooked smirk on his lips, still happy with his accomplishment of sleeping in her bed. As they gazed into each other's eyes they somehow found themself moving a tiny bit closer. Natsu lifted his head up slightly and gave Lucy a light peck on her lips. The kiss was short, Lucy had barely felt Natsu’s dry, chapped lips against hers before it was over. She just smiled though, not feeling as frustrated as she probably could have felt.

“Goodnight Natsu,” she said as a light blush danced on her cheeks.

“Goodnight Lucy,” Natsu whispered back. They both closed their eyes but still felt their hearts flutter as their hands reached each other.

Yeah. There was no need to rush this family. They understood each other perfectly fine, and after all, they were going to stay together forever, right?

[romana-after-dark]

Roman's 1000 follower fundraiser game!

Hello friends!!!

I am so happy to see I have 1200 followers! Thank you so much everyone who got me here, old followers from when I first wrote The Wrong Way, to new followers with my Logan Howlett era, to everyone that know me from my main and followed me to dark fics! Words cannot express how much yall mean to me and how much the support I've gotten through the hard things means.

I want to do a celebration, but something that won't overwhelm me. I'm switching work stuff around, however, so I should have more time and be less exhausted and sad.

So I’m doing a fundraiser game!

The charity: I will be donating to my favorite charity, Smile Train. when I was 6, I saw an add for Smile Train and asked my mom if I could donate. My mom said we didn't have enough money to both donate, and do the yearly church fair, so I had to choose. Of course, I was 6 so I chose going to the fair. And I felt bad about that every since. So, my go to has always been Smile Train for charities ever since. When I was in middle school I saved every allowance for a year and did some extra chores to save enough for a whole surgery! Now, I'm not that ambitious this time bc I am in fact, poor. But I can set aside some for the needy. I considered doing Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, but I found out Smile Train actually partners with them so it works!

How it works: So, As y'all've probably noticed, I love music so much, that almost every title of a fic is either a song title or a song lyric. Sometimes I say it, sometimes I don't.

THROUGHOUT THE END OF NOVEMBER!

Look though my masterlist here or on my main, @romanarose. Find at least one fic titled after a song.

Send an ask with UP TO 5 Song title/fic title connections. No More. This is to allow everyone a chance, and to no overwhelm me.

One title = 100 words. You find 3 song titles? you get a 300 word blurb. find 5? 500! 500 is the limit.

If you send a fic title that has already been pointed out in an ask from another person, sorry, it'd not counted! (Unless I'm really feeling the writing). Send 4 titles but 2 have been used already? You get 200 words!

Send me what you want. it doesn't have to be dark! I'll make an exception. Characters I'll write for bellow!

For every fic title/ song reference, I will donate $1 to Smile Train! The more songs we can find, the more money they get (without overdoing my bank account. However Nov has extra friday which means more pay for me.) Questions you may have: "What if someone else said the fic title, but it was published and I didn't see it, or it's still sitting in your asks because you are always super fucking slow at doing these ROMAN" Yeah you're right I'm always slow at these. I guess you're SOL, buddy. If it's already sitting in my asks, I won't commit to adding it to your word count. BUT if my creative juices are flowing, I may have mercy

"What if all of my song titles I found have been used already?"

Well, frankly, I'll probably write you something still! I'm not mean.

"What if you didn't use a song title, but we find a song with it anyway?"

Well, that's up to my discretion. If it's a song I know that may have influenced the title subliminally I might count it! But if it wasn't in intentional thing, no guarantees. But Again, I'll be flexible.

"How are we supposed to know what goes on in your weird little old man head."

Uhhhhhhhhh bestie I dont even know what's happening in there!!!! Just have fun with it. See if you recognize songs or lines. It's okay

"What about chapters?"

Great Q, voice in my head! Since most fics I don't have chapter titles, I'll allow it! If I have a bonus chapter, or a chapter i just wanted to title and its a song, go ahead! Only exception is Rooms on Fire. Sorry, but i'm pretty clear those are intentionally all songs. It's too easy.

"$1 is per fic title is awful cheap."

Bestie my checkings over drafted today!!! I got it covered and figured out, this is just a little something I wanna do with LITTLE extra money but I still have debt I gotta work on it's tough out here!!!

Any more questions send them in! YOU HAVE UNTIL DECEMBER 1ST WHICH IS WHEN DEAD DOVE DECEMBER STARTS AGAIN!

Logan Howlett

any Triple Frontier boys sans Tom

Moon Boys

Wade Wilson

Kylo Ren

Scott Summers

Remy Lebeau (but not dark for him I can't see it. Will allow dark reader though!)

Tommy Miller

Javier Pena

Han Solo (no non con, maybe dub con)

Steve Murphy

And yes, I've said I'm done with Joel but I will allow for Joel this time because it's for charity and he pulls people in.

and although I've never written them, I'll write for the Bikeriders Cal, Benny, or Johnny but no non con. I'll play wit dub con, and dark reader

I will also write canon character x canon character, so if you want some Scogan or Johnny x Benny or FishBen, Im in! If a pairing is something I feel just doesn't lend itself to the scenario you give me, I might tweek it. Everything is up to my discretion!

I will also write crossovers!

And I will write any of my oc's and anything in universe. So fen, if you wanna read you and Lorenzo go crazy! If you want a blurb shipping Scott and Dolly in OGS, just ask!

Open to it all

This is my little celebration my rules and discretion, but I want this to be overall fun!!! Just a good ole time! Don't take it too seriously, and we'll raise money in the mean time!

[shadowriel]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

Thanks to everyone who tagged me! I've been a bit out of touch with the fandom this year, but I always love this community we've made ourselves. If you see this or are mentioned below, consider yourself tagged!

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

Almost 22k

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Just 1 (but it was a banger!)

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I've started 3 new fics, adding to my ever growing list of WIPs

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Whiskey Over Wine (aka the country Feysand AU I didn't know I needed). It's completely self-indulgent but also incredibly descriptive and well-written?? I'm currently drafting the Nessian instalment, and it's reminding me how much I love the setting.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Probably Until Sunrise, which was my gift exchange fic for @witchlingsandwyverns. I am normally a modern AU girlie, but I really thought the perfect gift would stray from that and incorporate the kind of emotions/dynamics that work better in a different setting. I'm so so happy with how it's turning out so far - I think it's a great combination of my typical banter with an added level of yearning!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

is this what home feels like? which is the recent Feysand nanny/single dad AU I started. I've had this idea at the back of my mind for forever, and it really surprised me when all the bubbling thoughts finally clicked into place.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Maybe is this what home feels like? ... I was too anxious to make a Tumblr post about it, so it was a bit under the radar in terms of me talking about it

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

So, so many! @witchlingsandwyverns and @velidewrites come to mind, but I have a million pieces of fanart that live in my head rent-free. I don't know if they have Tumblr but @/flavie5dub on IG has me in the best kind of chokehold.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Can I just tag everyone for this??

@howlingcaptaincommando (@talons-and-teeth) directly helped contributed to the brain rot that is masked!Az in from the ghost of your lips (to the haunting of mine). I genuinely heard @tunaababee shrieking about Cowboy!Rhys as I wrote Whiskey Over Wine, so that was incredibly motivating.

And these people inspired me in so so many ways: @yourstarsmyscars @thesistersarcheron @foundress0fnothing @damedechance @wilde-knight @separatist-apologist @the-lonelybarricade @reverie-tales @bearbluebooks @witch-and-her-witcher @thelovelymadone @foreverinelysian (and genuinely everyone in UBC)

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I'm pretty sure this is the first year I read a fic by @bibliophiliaxvignette , and I was lucky enough to have her as my secret Santa for the gift exchange! Our vibes match so well, so her writing has been an amazing discovery.

And @the-new-ribbon! Their gwynriel makes me such a giggling mess, and I love it!

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

None this year!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

My proudest accomplishment is that I actually found joy in writing! 2024 was an incredibly challenging year for me and, for most of it, writing felt impossible, but I'm glad there were times that it provided a much needed escape.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

It's an ongoing lesson, but I've been realizing more about how to make writing more sustainable for me. Like in many aspects of my life, I push myself too hard and that often leads to burnout. That's definitely something I'm working on.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Above all else, have fun! Write the kind of fics you want to write, and try not to get lost in the struggles of writing "better" or producing more content.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

To not put too much pressure on myself!

I'd also really like to reprioritize all my old WIPs and give myself permission to abandon some (even if I feel myself attached to them). Beyond that, I've been dying to do a full re-write for the STEMinist fics (but that may be something for 2026)

[mx-piggy]

Happy Halloween!

So, over the past month, I've been working pretty hard on writing reviews for my website. In particular, I've been writing about movies that are horror-based or otherwise Halloween-appropriate. If you like movies, then you might like the stuff I write. And, if you like horror movies, you might like the stuff I've written this month.

This morning, I published a review of The Substance, and it's a piece I'm really proud of and that I would love for people to read. I'll be honest, it's not actually so much a review as it is an analytical piece about the movie. If you like The Substance, please consider giving it a read!

If you haven't seen The Substance, then I have reviewed some other movies, too. If you like any of the movies listed below or if you would be interested in reading my thoughts about them, please consider giving them a read.

Alien: Romulus

Coraline

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Speak No Evil

Never Let Go

The First Omen

Imaginary

If you're not that into horror, I've got reviews of other movies, too.

If movies aren't your thing, there's still stuff on there that might be of interest to you. I've got a decent amount of original poetry for you to read. I'll link my favourites below!

Nocturnal

There's A Man in the Window

One of Many Afternoons at Spoons

Earlsway

If you end up reading any of my work (thank you!) then please consider reblogging this post so that I could potentially get more eyes on my site. Don't get me wrong- I love to write regardless of whether anyone reads my stuff. But, it sure is nice when people engage with something I've worked hard on. And, if you like my work enough to want to keep up with what I post, please consider subscribing (it's free!)

[bluebellhairpin]

Hey! It’s me again (your new fan of smth, anyway). I really enjoy your small posts and saw the one abt chatty mood so.

I see so many fandoms on your page. Do you maybe have a list of your personal loved characters, like your all time favourites?

If you don't wanna answer it's fine, I don’t want to burden you anyhow. I just felt like getting to know a writer that I like and who is a tad bit more active.

idk if you're prepared for the can of worms you've just opened, but considering you asked, I'll try not to hold back. I've got my top 5, plus a few honorable mentions - just for you <3

HONERABLE MENTIONS;

Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan) - I had such a phase for a while (one that lasted about 25 fic oneshots). As with most, he was the reason I got into aot in the first place. The rest is history.

Poe Dameron (Star Wars) - Again, huge phase (14 fics long this time). What can I say, I really liked that spunky pilot.

Thorin Oakenshield (The Hobbit) - Proud owner of my longest fic series (both in word count length, and how long it's taken to write - I started it in hish school, and I've been out of school for four years now. smh.)

Kenny Ackerman (Attack on Titan) - Like nephew, like uncle. I just think he's sexy.

Number 5 spot is held by our one and only BMI hero - Taishiro Toyomitsu! (My Hero Academia) (art by @/fittsythesnail)

I just think he's neat LOL. He's so soft, and he makes me so happy - tbh he's such an underrated fave of mine. He'd make sure I was always well fed, not just full but full of good food - something I often lack. He's very loverboy coded to me <3

Number 4 spot is taken by - Ser Harwin Strong! (House of the Dragon) (art by me)

Harwin is running in circles in my mind right now. He's the only selfship I've got with such an intense storyline. idk if it's something you can get behind, but hey if not you might be by the time I'm finally able to write anything for him.

Number three is our commander - Erwin Smith! (Attack on Titan) (art by @/veggiebr0th + @/54prowl)

Erwin is probably the character that's truly stood on this list the longest. And hardest. I love him a lot. Probably too much. I definitely find writing for him fun, especially when it comes to darker, grittier themes.

The newest character on this list takes out spot Number 2, no doubt aided by how fresh the love is - Kyojuro Rengoku! (Demon Slayer) (art by @/fittsythesnail)

What can I say. He set my hear ablaze.

And our last spot, Number 1, is taken by the one and only - Arthur Morgan! (Red Dead Redemption 2)

I just love him so so so much. So much that I can never sit down and write anything I'm happy enough with to publish. I hate how I can't write anything for him, because that mean's I can't really enter the community - ik it's not the only way, but it's the way I know best. WHICH THEN MEANS I can't really make mutuals to talk to. ABOUT HIM. Honestly that might not be a bad thing, because I probably wouldn't shut up.

[cedarbranch]

twenty questions for fic writers!

tagged by @sunriseverse thank you!!

tagging: @figbian @shark-myths @stoplightglow @zipegs and anyone else who wants to participate (with no pressure if you don't!) questions below the cut :-)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

currently 65! i've orphaned several over the years though. unfortunately i am an Extremely Slow Writer so i always wanna see this number go up and it never goes as fast as i want it to :') we can hit 67 this year... surely....

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

847,778! used to be higher (more in the 950k range) prior to orphaning, i'm not sure if i've actually written over a million words or not at this point? v excited for the day that milestone actually shows up in my stats though! my current wips could tip me over, we'll see how it goes... 👀

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently hannibal and stranger things! i've bounced around many fandoms in my day, but my most significant contributions thus far have been for mcr/bandom and the magnus archives. really hoping i end up writing enough for my current fandoms that i can consider them part of that shortlist too!! :-)

4. top five fics by kudos

like a moth to light (like a beast to bait) / 2117 kudos, save that heart for me / 1480 kudos, how particular, my fondness of you / 1445 kudos, convicted criminals of thought / 1177 kudos, and questionable decisions / 847 kudos! wow, that last one took me by surprise, it was such a jokey little fic i often forget about it. nice to look back at these and see things with over 1k kudos though, i remember that being an unattainable pipe dream back when i was writing mcr in the dead era that was 2017 :')

5. do you respond to comments?

i often do! i try to respond to every comment i get when a fic is published, and i like to respond much later on as well, it just tends to slip my mind if it's an older fic. stuff gets lost in my inbox. i certainly read every comment though, and the comments left on older fics are often the ones that make me happiest!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm... i mostly write happy endings unless they're character studies. the true angstiest ending i've written is for a fic i haven't posted yet (hint: it's a sequel to a oneshot of mine!) but i do have short fics about both michael and gerry's deaths in tma? i'll go with the gerry death fic, thinking of the sun.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they're mostly happy!!! but the one that ends most on a note of Joy, i think, would be rosemary and thyme, my fae!martin au :-)

8. do you get hate on fics?

nah. i have an extremely vague memory of getting a comment that made me go "omg my first hate comment" but like it's so vague that i can't tell if it's a false memory or not 😭 people have always been quite nice to me, thankfully!

9. do you write smut?

i do! i tried to avoid it whenever i could when i was younger but these days i've actually become super interested in sex as a vehicle for character studies. that tumblr post that's like "the plot of this smut fic is that character A believes himself abandoned by god" is one HUNDRED percent my approach recently, definitely expect some of that upcoming on my ao3 lolll

10. craziest crossover?

i don't really write crossovers! i like them in comic/fanart form, but i tend to be less interested in crossover fic (unless it's HEU, i do quite like spacedogs)... the only times i've ever thought about creating crossover content myself were for a couple pacrim fusion ideas!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

eh, not really. a long time ago i did have someone basically rip the worldbuilding from one of my AUs with the serial numbers filed off, but they did ask permission - i said yes because i was like 16 and felt too awkward saying no. so that was weird! but not quite stealing.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!! to steal a kiss from borrowed lips was translated into russian, such an honor :D

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have, a really long time ago. i don't think i would do it again (unless it was with, like, one of two specific irls) bc i think i'd struggle with figuring out a collaborative workflow. part of me also thinks it could be a fun exercise though...

14. all time favorite ship?

OUGH..... mannnn what a question. it changes every few years and i feel like my response is influenced by not just the source material, but the quality of the fan content and the fandom interactions i've had... you know what? i know i have current-hyperfixation bias, but for now i am gonna say hannigram. it's just too peak.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Too Many Of Them - but in particular, my chrissy cunningham-centric longfic. it's an entire treatise on sapphic loneliness and small-town queer isolation and i do think it'd be a fucking masterpiece if i ever managed to commit to it, but it's on the forever back-burner i think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

hmm... characterization through dialogue is the main thing, i'd say. i'm always thinking about how to match a given character's speech patterns and i think i tend to capture their voices pretty well!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i'm my own biggest critic so i could list a bunch, but pacing is a big one. i tend to let things run too long and i feel like i've only just managed to balance it better in my current wip... only took a decade of fic-writing to get there 😭

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

depends a lot on context. honestly too many thoughts to condense well into an answer for this djglfg but in short: usually nice if it's just a few words, but can get unwieldy otherwise

19. first fandom you wrote in?

kuroshitsuji 💀 self-insert and OC-centric fic. how very unlike me

20. favorite fic you've written?

moth to light has been the reigning champ for a while now, but i think several of my current wips could potentially unseat it!

[elderberries-and-honey]

hey idk if youve answered this but whats ur writing process like? im think of doing a story like decades challenge but ive never anything outside of gameplay really. also how far in advance do you plan is it like this gen or gens in the future? sorry for rambling

Hello! First, you don't ever have to apologize for rambling to me; I love a good ramble! And second, if you're wanting to do the decades challenge, I suggest going for it! It has really helped me find a medium to channel my love for writing and learn history along the way.

To answer your second question of how far in advance I plan, I do plan multiple generations at once. I have a basic outline from 1890 to the mid 1920's already planned out, and this includes Ozzy, Atticus and future children and most of the side characters as well like Beth, Millie and Valerie.

As for my process, it's a little more in-depth and I use a website called Milanote for note taking and tracking birthdays and Google Docs for a bigger spreadsheet and writing the story.

Sometimes I have the full scene already written out in advance, but most of the time, it will be few sentences to get the juices flowing or something I wrote down at a different time. I write small things all the time, like little pieces of dialogue, or a good prose that I don't want to forget.

I personally need to see what the scene will look like before I write it out. Mostly because if I write something, and then can't find a pose for it, I get frustrated. So I shoot the scene first, edit the photos, put them into a Tumblr draft, and then finish the writing with the photos there for me to look at. Lately, I've been taking a few photos and then the rest of the scene comes to me while I'm shooting, so I stop taking photos and write it down before I forget.

Anyway, once all the photos are taken and the first draft is finished, I copy and paste what I've just written into my Google Docs. From there, I let it do it's grammar / spell check thing (mostly because I have it set to British-English so I want to catch American spellings of things and change them for me), reread it and put it back into the draft on Tumblr.

After that, I read the scene outloud back to myself. This helps me catch any weird grammar errors that the computer missed, or any repetitive use of a word & then I replace them (I have an extension that looks for synonms for me). I also just feel reading it outloud back to yourself, helps you read it like it's a story vs you just like...saying what's happening, if that makes sense? Like if I'm finding myself bored just by saying it outloud, it will probably be boring to read.

I do this multiple times over before I decide I'm satisfied, and I usually do it one more time before I publish the post. After I like what I've written, I copy and paste that back into my Google Doc because I consider this "my hard copy".

There is also a lot more organization that goes into it than just this, so if you want to know how I organize things, I'd be happy to explain that as well. It's a lot of spreadsheets and notetaking, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to.

And, this is just what works for me, I can't stress that enough! Other people write the scene before they shoot, and that's perfectly fine too. My process has changed overtime and it's taken a bit of trial and error, but this is just what feels the most natural for me.

I hope this helps somewhat and isn't too overwhelming. You can always do more gameplay than writing if that's what works for you, or build a story with gameplay. So don't let this scare or intimidate you! Either way, good luck with your decades challenge!

[zmediaoutlet]

Hello friend! Question for you (because I believe you have top tier taste). Do you have any fave late season or established relationship Sam/Dean fics? I notice that sooo many fics are centered around them getting together and "weecest", but sometimes I'm in the mood for a nice cut to the chase/"we both know whats goin on here" kind of story! Thank you :)

hello, grey circley friend! I am pleased that you like my taste, we're definitely in agreement there, and also OH MY GOD I love later-seasons and established relationship SO MUCH, they are my FAVORITE and it makes me turn into a very sad little emoji face whenever those polls go by and everyone's always like, oh, s1-3 first time is the best. And I'm just like oh :( not for me :( why can't people like the things i like :(

But that's why we just gotta be out here writing for ourselves, allegedly, although tbh it would be nice if other people liked it too, lol. (Seriously was considering a poll of like 'hey, which wip would you guys actually want to read'.)

If this isn't too terribly forward, I'm gonna do this -- because apparently I've written... 72 established relationship wincest fics, and like. idk, I think they're okay. At least some of those are later seasons.

But now not being super tacky, let me see if I can give you... three by other people that I really like --

Got No Direction by mistyzeo -- I crabsolutely ADORE this one, which is truly a quick cut-to-the-chase with no messing around and no angst, just two people who like each other and like fucking each other having a good ol' time. It isn't really set in a particular era but for some reason it reads very s7ish to me? Maybe because of when I first read it, even though it was clearly published earlier. Love it, adore it, you read it and adore it too.

what lies underneath by @rivkat -- sorta schmoopy shaving/praise kink but really it's about how Sam loves Dean So Much and I'm always here for that as a plot. Also a sink nearly gets fucked off the wall, which can only be a good thing. Good comfort food on a bad day.

Loser by @winchestersinthedrift -- Becky's the all time champ of writing bodies as bodies and getting in and out with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of oomph. Her Sam is probably the sexiest Sam who's ever been written and he just thinks that Dean's delightful, and you know what, same. This is Bunker era in a vague and happy space.

-- and the reason it's only three, I'm sorry, is that the server troubles are making this Difficult, lol. But surely that's enough to be going on with. To other people: heyyyy, isn't it so funnnn when you've got people who've gotten past all the kissy worry and now the worry is about other stuffffff, heyyyyyyyyy

(that's my attempt at getting people to tag more stuff Established, anon. let's see if it works.)

[dsmiind]

(IM)POSSIBLE

Hiya, my name is Doris. I have an account on tik tok and I'm doing pretty good. It's something I wated for a while now. I enjoy it and I hope you will check it out if interested. It's ds.mind. Afew months ago I started writting a book. A spicy one. I enjoy reading so I got a few ideas and wrote my own..I will post some of it here, only a few chapters... I hope you'll read it and tell me your thoughts and complaints on it. It's not published yet and I still have a lot of things to make better and change. It's about a girl who met her celebrity crush, but not the usual encounter, I would say...

Enjoy and thank you. <3

I keep recalling things we never did.

                                                                             -Taylor Swift

CHAPTER 1 

ASTORIA

I'VE NEVER BELIEVED IN MIRACLES. LIKE, I BELIEVED THAT THERE IS MORE THINGS that we humans know of, but the things that happened to me were im(possible). I just left my job because they were dicks. Allegedly my coffee was awful, although, my job should have been photography. Oh yes and I left my boyfriend. I was living with him at that time and everything was okay...but I was never normal girl. I always imagined more for me. I believed in real, raw, passionate love and I never got it from Joah. It was childish, cute but never more. And the sex was awful. So, after we broke up, I felt empty and in need of something new. I left town a bit after that happened. It was bitter and sad but I wasn't heartbroken because I think that our relationship was a pure habit.  As bad as that sounds it's true, we just didn't want to admit it. So, enough sad talk, it was my first moving day. My mom, or how my brother would call her, Sara and sister were helping me to bring things upstairs.  My brother Leo and dad were fixing some broken stuff. It was okay apartment, considering it in the center of the city and the price was affordable. I, sure, should start to look for a job but that's problem for another day. My parents are paying for first few months as a reward for finishing college. I hated being dependent on someone but it's okay for now I said to myself. „I am really happy for you, Astoria, this is really big!“ my sister almost shouted. „Thank you, Maria. After everything, every tear and damn nerves that I lost in that damn law school, this is well deserved. I had a very good relationship with my siblings, we were a very happy family.  Although I lived away from them when I was in college, I was sad because this time was a little different. Now, we would be 1,5 hour of drive away, on good days...

I watched Maria and mom leaving with a few boxes in the apartment. I sat for a bit on the bench next to the moving van to appreciate where I am and how happy I am. It was mid September, New York was beautiful at this time of the year. It was warm but also you could sense some chill in the air, and as my phone says, we could expect rain soon. Works for me cuz today all I had to do was unpack everything and chill. I don't have any obligations other than looking for a job and finding myself in this big city. Honestly, living in the countryside was much better for me, I loved it more. I was working with my family on the fields, looking after our animals.  We enjoyed our everyday, mid day, coffee and tea. Unfortunately there are no jobs available for a photographer. So city it is. 

CHAPTER 2

ASTORIA

AFTER THEY HAD LEFT, I STARTED TO UNBOX EVERYTHING AND PUT IT IN THEIR PLACES. 

The closet was way too small for all my stuff but what can you do? That took a few hours so I took a little break, made myself a yogurt bowl and chilled for a bit. After scrolling on social media for what felt like 6 hours, I stumbled upon something that was unbelievable.  Asher Miller is doing a live interaction with his fans at event...TOMMORROW!! I looked at it in pure shock. „Gosh...“ 

Asher is a very famous actor, and I may or may not have a huge crush on him for like a few years now. He is 35 years older than me so that would make him 58, he has a wife, and two daughters. I know how this looks but don't judge. I mean it's not like I'm in love with him. Okay, maybe a bit, but I never in my life thought that I would actually be in a position to be this close to him, let alone meet him. That crush started like every other girl crushing on a celebrity actor.  I would watch pictures on pinterest, see all the movies that he was in, tiktok edits. But after some time, it just evolved into something deeper. Like, I couldn't explain it, but I wouldn't find any other guy attractive. Not a bit, and I would find myself thinking and imagining fake scenarios with him, every day and night. --- Okay, you get the point. But this is it, I could really see him tomorrow night. There is no damn way that I'm speaking with that man but I COULD SEE HIM. After my shock faded a bit, I immediately called Maria. It ringed a few times, it felt like an eternity, but she finally picked up. „Maria, now listen to me because this is unbelievable." She listened.  „Fucking Asher Miller is coming to the city tommorrow to have some live thing. I don't even know, with fans!!“ First, nothing.  Just silence...then she shouted. „Astoria, you have to go, this is all you've ever wanted. You will see him!!! I wish I was there with you, but you're going.“ She was damn right, I am going. „You have to dress sexy, maybe he spots you, you never know!!" I knew that, so I cut our conversation short, and after that, I went to buy a ticket. Thankfully, there was still available tickets, just more expensive. Because it was last minute.  It was an event about whiskey. He would be there as,  of course, a few other famous actors because they all had their whiskeys so that's a link why.  That night I was so nervous I couldn't sleep, I turned and shifted in my bed. I was thinking and dreaming about how it will all be and will he maybe notice me. I knew it was unlikely but hey, a girl can dream. I still can't believe I will see him in real life. Then I started to wonder if I like him as well as through the screen or will he be different, I was very interested. Part of me wanted him to be as attractive to me as he is through the TV. Like, on every interview he got compliments from both women and men. On the other part I hoped he would be different in person so that I could forget about my obsession with him. 

CHAPTER 3

MORNING CAME SO FAST, YET SO SLOW. 

I haven't slept too much but it was enough. I got up, made myself some breakfast, and chilled on my phone. First, I was looking and searching for some jobs, and then TikTok, of course. It might be an obsession  at this point. I loved watching people organize and stage their new houses. Also, I loved cooking videos and people decorating for holidays. Although my for you page was full of Asher. Two hours passed like nothing, and a few more hours separated me from getting ready for that damn event. I texted with Maria the whole time, she was more excited for me than me myself, if that's possible. I called my mom and dad, texted my brother, to catch up with them, because we called every few days. I like that about us. We were a very close knit family, but they couldn't understand my obsession with Asher. I mean, I don't blame them because he was married and a famous man and I don't know what I expect them to say. They were happy that I'm going to my first event in years and they told me to have fun. 6 o'clock came and it was time to start to get ready. I first washed my hair, and put it in a heatless curls method I learned from one girl on TikTok. Then, I did my makeup the best possible. And of course that when you need it to look perfect it won't. So I took everything off, cleaned my face, and did it again. This time was perfect. I had clean skin so thank God it was easy. I did a light eyeliner, lashes and a lot of blush, as like I won't blush immediately when I see HIM. I put lip butter on my lips and waited for my hair to be done. I had one hour to spare before I had to go so it was okay. As I sat on my couch I started to think about how would all of it would look. But nothing came to mind. I couldn't even imagine meeting him because it felt impossible for too long that even now it felt like that. I never was a girl that was obsessed with someone or even celebrity crushes, and I'm not gonna be that girl now. I wasn't obsessed, like I wouldn't chase that man down.  I wouldn't even ask him for a picture if I ever saw him on the street, as if that was ever a possibility. I don't know. It felt weird and inhumanly to do so. I always thought that celebrities are normal people and deserve to have a normal life. As much as possible.

And, of course, you can guess the weather outside. It's freaking raining like there is no tomorrow. I called a cab because I knew it would take a lot of time to get there. I put on my dress. It was a basic, but sexy dress, with a little cleavage that showed my little perky boobs.  I wasn't wearing a bra underneath I put on my best parfume and my black heels with a black bag. After I let my hair down, comb it and spray it, my cab was already here. I locked my doors and got in the car as quickly as possible not to get wet. The drive was okay, slow because of the traffic, loud because of the rain and all the cars passing. Driver was very nice and left me right in front of the building where the event was. I paid, thanked him and headed in there. I had to get to the 3rd floor. I stepped in the elevator and I was so dizzy I almost fell – that's how nervous I was. My breathing was fast and short. Ding – and there I was, WhiskHEY event, full of all kinds of people, but also it felt very normal and relaxed. Everyone was so classy, even the waiters were in suits. They walked throught the crowd and offered us some whiskey and champagne. In the right corner was a band prepping for their five minutes on stage and everything was full and noisy. Not my type of a night out but I know why I was here. And people say that if you want something you never had you have to do something you never did. I stood a few rows further away from the stage. Everyone started to talk quietly and then a woman came and introduced us all in the event and all the actors in it. „Welcome everyone, it's a pleasure to welcome you to our 5th WhiskHEY event. Tonight there will be a lot of guests. Each one of them will present their drink a bit and they will chat with you after that. Don't forget we have an awesome band, as well. Enjoy. I leave the stage to them. I heard a lot of famous names, she mentioned, but couldn't see anyone yet. At that moment everyone started clapping and cheering so ,naturally ,I knew he's gonna come out now. And I was right, HE stepped on the stage at that very moment. 

 

CHAPTER 4

HE LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE ON THE SCREEN. 

Tall, skinny, tattooed arms and fingers, short shirt, black jeans.  He looked so sexy with his gray and black beard and his damn smile while he crunches his nose. He was literally a walking sex god. I was looking at him for some time while some other actor spoke. Honestly, I didn't even got what he was saying. Something about his career, the whiskey he made and all about it, I have no clue. I heard nothing. I was staring at him, lost track of time or space, actually I think I wasn't even breathing. Fortunately, I managed to come to my senses when the other actor took the mic. I drank a little bit of champagne that got warm in my hand and listened to Enrick Jones.  (Another famous actor, who starred in one movie with Asher). I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't notice that Asher's turn was next. I snapped out of it and took a few pictures then sent it to Maria, who freaked out and sent probably approx. a thousand stickers and emojis. I watched and listened so closely to everything he said. He spoke about his family and how happy he is with his life and career.  Don't get me wrong I am happy for him, but Jesus, I couldn't help it. I felt some strange feeling in my stomach.  I felt all kinds of feelings, my body was so hot, and my face burning while I watched him. After him, there were 3 more guys who spoke about their things and they were gone from the stage. The intro of them talking wasn't long, you figured. But, that's because they'll have a chat with fans in a few minutes.. The audience welcomed, again, that woman from the start.  She said that the meet and greet will be starting now.  Staff started to put stools and tables on the stage for them and people started to crowd. I knew that there was no way in hell I'm going to talk to him.  Even though Maria sent like a hundred messages about how I should go and meet him, but I couldn't. If I met him, I think I couldn't move on with my life. 

I should've left earlier, because now it's so crowded I can barely move. I don't understand the rush. Room is big but small enough to see and hear them no matter how far you are. I stood there for a minute more, waiting for space to clean a bit. At that moment, the waiter was passing by, so I put my glass on the tray.  Finally I turned around to leave. I was looking at my feet because I didn't wanna trip and fall in my heels, but then I bumped into someone. Brick wall, tall man stood in front of me in the crowd. „Damn, I'm sorry, darling.“ He smiled gently and put his hand, friendly, on my shoulder. Our eyes locked and then I figured it was Asher!!!

[celinou]

Thanks @lenorelovesmax for tagging me 🤍

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2, currently. Well, more like one and a half baked scene that has no context, to be more accurate.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 194.036 words.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I have like the one fic, the other thing has 2 kudos. So... - A Walk in Chiaroscuro (354)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, absolutely. It's pretty rare when I don't. I like to tell people that I appreciate their support and comments or to answer questions they might have about the story or the choice I made.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. I'm too old and too jaded by life to appreciate them anymore. I'm at a point in my life where I need to know there's hope and happiness at the end of the line.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm guessing there will be some kind of repetition since I've only published Awic... Soooo, it's a Walk in Chiaroscuro! ...but if you want to know about the ones that I keep in my drawer never to see the light of AO3, the happiest ending goes to Let's Write a Love Story (it's a Homestuck fanfic)

8. Do you get hate on fics? No. I'm writing in a mostly dead fandom so far and for kind of a rare pair so, people have been starved of content. They were so nice and sweet to me in the comments.

9. Do you write smut? I wish! I don't have the chops for it but I so wish I could write good smut! Honestly it's something I really want to push myself into exploring. Unfortunately your girl is a bit too vanilla in her taste which makes for poor reading. I don't fear being bad... I fear being boring, you know?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written? I've never done that, no. But who knows what future will lead me to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No. I don't have enough reach to be the target of theft.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. And tbh I don't have the patience to translate it myself in my native language.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Could have... but no. There was an attempt at a joined project for Dragon Age but, unfortunately, it didn't work out in the end. I'm not abandoning the idea of writing for Dragon Age but I'll probably go in a very different direction since it would be a solo project.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? I... don't have one... Yeah, I'm not much of a shipper at the core. I mean I did write for Caulscott but I practically ship Max with everybody in LIS so... I was more interested by Nathan's potential as a love interest more than the ship itself. Outside of LIS... I can't think of any ship rn, I'm afraid.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Tough question. If I abandoned a project I don't consider it a WIP. It's a dropped thing that goes in the reusable idea bin... and if I'm still working on it, I don't go into thinking I won't finish it. So, it's hard to say really. To not leave you with such a vague answer, I'll give you this: the fic I planned to write about the Hidden Object Games series Dark Parable, that never took off and never will (for I have better/much more attractive projects to work on). It's a dropped thing. But now you can see I have weird and obscure taste.

As for original projects: I have a Horror RPG project that probably won't ever see the light of day, called: The Clockmaker. (because I realized I'm shit at pixel art, tragic)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Hum... No. I don't mind people doing it but I tried it myself in my pirate epic and, let me tell you, I'm not that good a multilingual as to be witty in more than 2 languages. I found what I wrote cringe af when I read back my text in the editing phase and scrapped it all out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Homestuck. I started writing fics very late in my life. (I wrote original stuff before that)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? A Walk in Chiaroscuro. Because it's the only fic I went into unafraid to write what I wanted without thinking about who might read it. And to this day it's the truer work I've put out. Not the most personal by any stretch but the one I indulged in the most. And I'm so proud of it. Flaws and all.

I tag @sourrind and @momochizoey if you feel like doing it. And everybody who'd want to as well, consider yourself tagged, friend!

[dogueteeth-fhr]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Thank you @silvery-bluish & @glitchy-npc for the tags! Not sure who else to send it to atm but if you see this on my page and decide to pitch in with your answers feel free to @ me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've got 12! Most are oneshots, others are series.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

47002 on AO3 at the moment! And so much more in my docs.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Fallen Hero, with a dash of TWC and some other fandoms sprinkled in my WIPS but I've been on Fallen Hero brainrot for a long time now so the other fandoms are currently neglected.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nightmare (surprisingly enough) w/ 28 kudos

focus (it's harder than you think) (also surprising lol) w/ 20 kudos

new pavement w/ 18 kudos

anamnesis w/ 18 kudos

freefall w/ 13 kudos tied with bath(toaster)tub also w/ 13 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all of them! But some days I just don't have the spoons to and I forget, but I really appreciate any comments I receive.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

HA. you want me to pick??? Ok hrm. maybe bath(toaster)tub? anamnesis also has so me pretty angsty pieces in there.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

PFFF. ok gotta. go look for this one. Maybe sargasso sea, though it's technically not the last iteration in its series between a continued plotline hinted out in after the fall and a third part planned for its series.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! I think.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

(slaps brain) this bad boy can generate so much smut. I write pretty much any kind? Soft, rough, indulgent, M/M, F/M, F/F, other any everything, kinky or emotional, etc. Just whatever strikes me at the time, but most just dont get published bc I'm mid.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I typically HATE crossover fics they just aren't my thing I do write AUs of X story set in X story's universe, just haven't published them (wait does that still count as a crossover).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah, considered it once tho.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Haven't found someone with the vibe ig, it's just never crossed my mind to co-write a fic and just never been asked too.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

(cue strained breath) i have no all time favorites BUT. but. Ricardo/Wei gets me SO soft ok. i just. unrequited years long attraction finally requited and i. AAAAA. place sidestep in there too and i'm just so happy. i need poly rep in my life sometimes ok.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I stare into the google docs hell and ask you how you could expect me to pick one but. BUT. Praeludium//Allegro. A piece meant to dive in how Sidestep is able to experience the moment someone dies through their mind.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Shorter pieces! They tend to be about ~2000-5000 words per part, that's usually when I feel I've done my best. I'm also. Decent at NSFW writing? Sometimes, at least.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely long fics. I had a plan for freefall and have scrapped and adapted it multiple times now, pus it's just difficult to keep myself interested in specific but necessary chapters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fun! I've included Spanish and Russian excerpts into my fics before but I don't do it a lot. Considered writing fully in Spanish at some point for an Ortega POV but I'm not confident in my grammar abilities. Spanish verb tenses my beloathed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto. On a different old account best left to gather dust.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hm, I'm not sure if I have a favorite. I do really like the NSFW piece I wrote from Remy's POV, though. Short but good.

[itcameuponamidnightqueer]

3, 6, 18, 29, 30

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

in defense of my own happiness. it started out as just a vibes fic and then oops it developed some plot, but the plot is still subtle enough to mostly rely on vibes. i always want to make sure i hit vibes harder than plot (because that's always how i get inspired to write a fic in the first place), and i think this is the story i've been most successful at with that.

6. Favorite title you used

considering i only wrote two fics in 2023, and one of them was an albumfic whose title is the name of the album, that actually is my favorite title. for me, "in defense of my own happiness" is a sentiment that really fits both ava and beatrice—ava, for how effusively she feels joy in spite of so much tragedy/loss; and beatrice, for how she's leaning into joy because of ava and in spite of many years repressing it.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

beatrice! i tried to overcome that by writing her in second person but she's still so nuanced and not as immediately accessible as ava. when i'm writing a chapter from her pov, i always have to wait until i "hear" an opening line or else i won't find the rhythm of her voice.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

i was gonna say something from in defense, but i think actually there was a bit from a smaller oneshot that i enjoyed more.

You could scream about how much you love Beatrice, and she’s stopped you from doing exactly that more than once. One of these days you’ll wear her down. “I love you,” you say, an answer to a question Beatrice hasn’t asked. “Ah.” Her eyes twinkle, and her nose scrunches, and she smiles just a little, quirked at the corners and very pleased. “Do you need to take a break to address that?” “Won’t that mess up your film-watching routine?” “I love you, too,” is all she says. You just have to, like, sit with that.

ava of the show so clearly loves beatrice but also stops herself from actively expressing or leaning into those feelings. one of the things i love most about both of them together is that they give each other space to feel and process, whether that's a separate or shared activity. it just warms my heart to imagine, once they get to be the post-war versions of themselves, that beatrice recognizes implicitly that sometimes ava just needs a moment to feel her Big feelings.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

this one i'm gonna actually answer for 2024, even though i haven't published anything yet, but—i feel like for a while i was getting stuck into the sameness of fandoms that dried up quickly and it kind of took a lot of motivation out of the ol' writing sails. so binging agatha all along, absolutely devouring every single fic i could, it was really nice to be reminded that actually, yes; i can still have that feverish, gremlin energy for something new. and not only that, but it will bleed motivation into old projects, too. slower than i'd like! but it's happening. i have [checks spreadsheet] four tabs for agatha/rio fics i'd like to write, and i have a feeling it'll happen in the near future.

ao3 wrapped asks

[feralkwe]

in an effort to not succumb to a potential panic attack, i will instead focus on some fandom nonsense! i've had a little influx of new follows, almost exclusively people i've seen in the ffxiv tags and watched from afar for awhile now, so maybe i should do a little intro post.

i'm feral kwe (kwe means woman in anishinaabemowin) but you may feel free to call me just b. just a tired, queer, indigenous lady who is an eldritch being in tumblr years (my original blog started in 2008 or 09) and gets a little too lost in the blorbo sauce. the fandom i'm currently most active in is ffxiv, but i dabble in good omens, mass effect, a couple of the gay vampire shows, and have been in and out of marvel fandom. i'm a dragon age old, my first online fandom and the one i went the most hard in up until now, so consider that a blanket warning for the upcoming months, since i'm not sure yet where i'll fall into it again. for the foreseeable future, i'm quite happy in my ffxiv brainrot, and will happily go on and on and on (and on and on) about my wol, kit hareington given even a breath of permission to do so.

i write fic! i'm feralkwe on ao3, and have the highlights marked in a pinned post. i write original work, too, and have even sold and published some. it's easy enough to find, so i won't link it here, but if you are curious and want to ask me about it, please do!

speaking of asks! my askholebox is always open and i welcome people to just drop in unannounced. consider this open provocation to do so! i don't have anon enabled, and likely never will. my life is better for it. 11/10 do recommend as a life choice.

i don't follow a lot of people. i keep the number artificially low for the sake of not having so much go by that i can't keep up. that said, i do try to check in on the blogs of people who follow me from time to time. i don't really make mutual/non-mutual distinctions. since i block with abandon for any multitude of reasons, if you're here at all i already love you. that said, if you follow @yamisnuffles or @icescrabblerjerky you are likely to see a lot of overlap. they're my ride or die lifelong besties and we exist in a state of mutual whimsy that can best be described as 'lol ilu'. do with that information what you will.

i try my best to use tags consistently for things i know need it. that said i do my best to stay out of active dragon age main tags, and do not use any of those in original posts. the most pertinent one, the one i was asked to tag the most, and the one i've had the longest is #and that's jenga, my personal anders tag. if you need something tagged, please ask, and i'll try my best to accommodate reasonable requests.

i probably haven't read your blog description. i probably did not notice if you have a dni. i assume if you're here that i don't fall under any umbrella you desperately do not want to engage with. i do not vet the blog of every poster i reblog. if you think i've done something harmful, please give me the benefit of the doubt that i did so unknowingly, and give me a chance to correct it. i'm human, and so are you. i just ask that we try to be excellent to each other.

i think that covers everything! if i missed anything, like i said, ask! or just come say hi and introduce yourself!

[dreamcrow]

20 questions

i was tagged by several people (thank you @niemalsetwas, @babblish, and @creativenicocorner), who in doing so have conveniently eliminated many of the people i would have thought to tag myself, haha. let's see... @falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand, @eri-223, @sidhewrites, if you like? plus anyone else who would like to steal.

1.) how many works do you have on ao3?

41 posted; 0 drafts.

2.) what's your total ao3 word count?

189,246. (?!)

3.) what fandoms do you write for?

oh, ask not for whom the hyperfixation tolls. (toa, obviously.) i do have a few fics i've deleted, though, in fandoms i don't currently have any fics for. maybe i should republish them on anon? 🤔

4.) what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

in my sleep i dreamed of waking

all that dazzling dawn has put asunder

it's a lovely day in stricklake month

misc. trollhunters prompts

sophisticated/manipulated

oh...they're (almost) all str/icklake, lol. and so old! is it strange that i feel so disaffected by this? well, probably not. a good lesson in kudos being merely a measurement of "how many times people pushed the kudos button," i suppose.

5.) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to! part of my general attitude of "fandom is a conversation." i worry i don't always have all the spoons to make my replies what i feel they "should" be, but i do always want to convey my gratitude for people taking the time to leave a comment at all.

6.) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh, that's easy: notstantinoplefic! unfortunately it's not yet approached something even remotely publishable, so that probably means very little. ¯\_( ᐛ )_/¯

other than that...probably the first or second parts of minor arcana. probably the first, more than the second. skrael's chapter ends on something awful but he's about to enjoy a good bit of (however fleeting) catharis; bellroc however doesn't get any closure for what happens in their chapter until they meet nari, a couple centuries later.

7.) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

...do i have a fic that doesn't have an ultimately happy ending? 😂 oh, i am too soft. even the horrible vicious ancient wizard gods tend to go out with full stomachs, warm beds, and someone on their side.

8.) do you get hate on fics?

i'll not lie: i have glimpsed the occasional drama from over my meticulously-curated rose hedge. but most of it seems to be from children, and for all my various weaknesses, i think i can survive being vagueblogged by people who aren't old enough to vote. if not: my anon is on ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

9.) do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i am ATTEMPTING. most of the smut i've ever read has left me generally ??? baffled, glazing over, skipping through (without animus) to the next part. again, this is not the fault of the author; it's true even of things i can tell objectively are well-written, titillating, otherwise universally acclaimed. but i enjoy thinking about character exercises, and i am not completely untemptable, so this year i've been trying to make some progress on my longtime agenda of "get the horrible bird wizard railed."

...none of which is terribly apparent given that none of it is published, ofc! but. hopefully. that may change in the not-too-distant future.

10.) do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

tbh i am very picky about crossovers. but i must admit... skraelroc necro/cav au... a man is Considering

11.) have you ever had a fic stolen?

i've had people repost my art, which (as someone who does not think of himself as an even remotely skilled artist) was very surprising. but never fic.

12.) have you ever had a fic translated?

none that i know of.

13.) have you ever co-written a fic before?

the closest i've ever come is probably blue wizard boyfriends, which is inspired by some rp shenanigans between a friend and me. but even so, my take on douxie in that series has diverged quite a bit from hers! so it doesn't really feel like "cowriting."

14.) what's your all-time favorite ship?

as your #1 friendly neighborhood degenerate not-even-actually-incest pornographer, i simply must say: nothing quite hits like a ship you literally invented

15.) what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

to be completely honest, i do still feel the occasional pang of nostalgia for my gr/avity f/4lls fic. i had a lot of world built for it, a whole sequence/interaction arc for the characters (and not just the couple). unfortunately, even this many years later—even if i never got directly harassed—the nastiness of that fandom has still left a very strong impression on me. it was the first time i think i ever saw a/ntis in action, and i don't think i have any desire to pick that story up again.

16.) what are your writing strengths?

...worldbuilding? present tense, apparently. 😂 i've also been told i have a knack for—ah, how did he put it. understated emotional closeup shots? i think of such kind comments often, haha.

17.) what are your writing weaknesses?

discipline. not using too many semicolons. recently: not using paired adjectives. mainstream fanon. not going back over published work and finding a billion small things to fix (though i'm getting better at this).

18.) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

...mainly: "you're lucky i didn't make myself learn actual ancient egyptian for all those dumb little skraelroc shmoop fics i keep setting in ancient egypt"

otherwise? i err on the side of under-doing it, but i love doing this. i love seeing this in fic, even if it's not a language i know. it's like a little easter egg!!

19.) first fandom you wrote for?

a very old anime fandom which i will not be revealing on main. probably twenty years ago, at this point. almost certainly on ff.net.

20.) favorite fic you've ever written?

oh, i'm not sorry. i am thinking of minor arcana so often these days, but i really am pretty proud of it. even now, more than a year later! once i have the time to go through and fine-tune everything, i'm going to bind it. it's a very weird fic, probably, but one that is nevertheless (or perhaps because of this?) very dear to my heart.

[bellaxgiornata]

I *WANTED* your long winded answers! I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I definitely would take fic recommendations from you! And they don’t have to be JUST Matt Murdock fics either. I’m super glad you mentioned TRT, it’s like the Murdock Fic Bible at this point. I need to go back to it again because I never finished it and it’s been so long now (wah) but I think that was one of, if not THE first, DD fanfic I started reading and it was so overwhelming (in the best way) with chapters and the way it was so wonderfully written.

I was even thinking to myself that I *didnt* want you to say that FFTD or ATY was your favorite work because it felt too obvious, an authors most popular work is never nearly a favorite of their own!

Thank you for your answers ❤️ I always look forward to your responses to everyone about the content we all have in common here in this comfy corner of your blog lol SO I do hope you get more fic questions!

Ahhh OMG thank you!! 🤣 It's funny because in person I am SO quiet, I would give you the briefest answer possible. But I'm very chatty via the written word.

I do have a previous Matt Murdock fic rec list floating around somewhere, but I do need to make a new one because plenty more fics have come out since then. I've also wanted to make one for Mikey and one for Frank, but that means I'd have to, you know, read things. I truly need to stop writing long enough to do that again 😅

YES! TRT really is a huge part of the Daredevil fandom. And it really did have a HUGE impact on me when it came to me entering this fandom and to my love of Matt's character. But you're not alone, I'm very behind on it unfortunately and I always tell myself I'm going to find a week soon and catch up on all my reading but then I get ideas for writing... It's a vicious circle.

Ahh! Well then I'm happy I didn't disappoint! I figured most probably would expect me to say one of those two as my answer, but nope! LWL was also the fic that proved to me that I still love writing. I spent a lot of time over the last few years in college working on my BA and then my MA in Literature, Rhetoric, and Composition. Working on those degrees crushed my love of reading and writing for awhile. But writing and publishing novels is my dream and it always has been, and that fic was the one that opened my eyes to show me that I can sit down and write more than just a few thousand words for one story (as FFTD has also shown me and so many others by now). So that fic means a lot to me. But you're absolutely right, the popular work is not always the favorite of the author!

Thank you for the questions!! I love chatting with y'all about whatever and I'm always open to any of you asking me questions about the fics or the characters I write for! And it makes me so happy to hear many of you consider my blog a comfortable place to open up and chat ❤ Honestly, connecting with all of y'all has been my favorite part of fanfic writing!