#first one was meant to have twilight going :0 in the background

[calaphort]

some cadalis drawings I’m not gonna finish, but hopefully you can enjoy anyways

[lazywitchling]

Re: my absolutely batshit tags on the original post. You do not understand how absolutely unhinged I am about this video. Y'all, I found Lindsey's channel when she had only three videos posted. I have been here almost since the beginning, and I. AM. GOING. FERAL.

You're getting the full breakdown.

(0:00) This is the outfit Lindsey wore when she was rejected from America's Got Talent. That's the voiceover that's happening: the judges ripping apart her performance. 'Not good enough'. 'You need to be in a group.' 'You can't sell out a theater'.

(0:32) She has said that after that, she went back to the dressing room and just sobbed, and said she'd never go on another stage again.

(0:39) Enter: Lindsey from the future. This is Artemis!Lindsey, and is a character from several of the videos off her Artemis album, which tells a VERY cinematic story. (Watch that playlist in reverse order to see the story.) Sidenote, I know Lindsey writes her own music videos, and she also makes or designs her costumes and directs her own videos, though I don't know if she does those two things EVERY time. She might, she might not, idk.

(0:53) AGT Lindsey looks to the side and sees Lindsey from her Crystallize video. This one went viral, and ended up being an absolute CAREER CHANGER.

(0:59) Okay I don't recognize this specific costume, but this one is a reference to her time on Dancing With the Stars. TBH, marketing failed me because I didn't know she had competed until I heard her talking about it at her concert I saw in 2019. I'm gonna go watch all her dances when I'm done writing this essay. (EDIT: Yeah, it's her costume from the Freestyle dance in Week 10)

(1:07) This Cyberpunk!Lindsey is another character from the Artemis videos and makes appearances in several. There's a whole storyline. Also as if playing, dancing, composing, writing, costuming, and directing weren't enough, Lindsey also wrote a comic book. Because of course she did.

(1:16) On the chorus, the backgrounds of the music videos start to fade in. Crystallize, then Underground/The Upside, Artemis/Between Twilight.

(1:41) The shot of her on the bench is from her first album, self-titled Lindsey Stirling.

When we get to the bridge, this would be the 'plot-twist' portion, except that we're not talking about a fictional story, this is autobiographical. But we're stepping into a low point here, fasten your seatbelts.

(1:45) The ballerina AGT!Lindsey sees is from Shatter Me. Lindsey wrote this song and video about her struggles with anorexia (and possibly depression and/or anxiety? but don't quote me on that, I might be misremembering something she said at the concert).

(2:06) Sometime before Dancing with the Stars, Lindsey's father passed. I'll let Lindsey tell you about that one through her music and video writing.

(2:09) Hold that thought, we'll get to Hoop!Lindsey in a second.

(2:11) Here's Roundtable Rival Lindsey to pick us back up. This music video of hers was really when she jumped into the NEXT LEVEL of video production. If you only watch one video I link in this post, make it this one.

(2:12) Piers Morgan on AGT told Lindsey that she was not good enough to go 'flying through the air' while trying to play the violin. He meant it as hyperbole. Lindsey said 'Watch me' and made it literal. She decided that she'd play the violin while flying around in a safety harness like Peter Pan, hanging by her hair, trapeze?, and aerial hoop.

(2:17) This costume is from The Arena. This video was when she started incorporating the ballroom dancing she's learned on Dancing with the Stars in her videos. Her dad had passed in January the year that she was on that show, so her time there was where she really really had to dig up whatever inner strength she had.

(2:19) Another reference to the Shatter Me video in which the broken ballerina breaks free of her prison.

(2:29) Lindsey played at Lollapalooza in Paris 2023, nbd. She tours, she sells out stadiums. But y'know. "You'll never fill a theater" and "You can't be solo".

(2:37) More video backgrounds from The Arena, Roundtable Rival, and Shatter Me.

(3:22) New album cover just dropped! We're getting "Duality" in June! Also the last few shots are the main characters from her main album releases.

(3:27) And we're back to rejected AGT!Lindsey as we once again hear Piers Morgan's voice. "You're not good enough." And then of course Lindsey's own voice responding "Not good enough... yet."

Anyway.

I'm gonna go watch more of her videos and cry again.

[tracybirds]

Don’t talk to me about timelines XD lockdown 3.0 was an unpleasant surprise but it did give me some fun fodder to play with. Missing from this were the stream of Valentines to Covid that spread around my section of NZ social media XD I was tempted to make Scott write some, but alas it didn’t fit. Obviously plenty has been fudged, it’s definitely not meant to be taken too seriously and more allows me to collect together some of the mixed emotions of getting a five hour countdown to lockdown D: That was not fun lol like far out, and we had to prepped for remote learning by 9am the next day. Scott is not allowed to complain further in his swanky apartment and no job XDD

In all seriousness, this is Scott’s story for FabFiveFeb2021, hosted by the ever lovely @gumnut-logic (Happy Birthday! still the right day in Aus, I didn’t miss it right :0 either way *hugs*** and I hope it was a nice day :DD)

Prompt used was “Are you kidding?” - it really resonated on Sunday evening ahaha (okay I will stop rambling in my defense it’s post midnight and I have feverishly pummelled this out in a couple of hours, it had been itching at me all day.... I missed that feeling :DDD)

----------------------

Scott was International Rescue through and through, but in the murky waters of the central business district, he thrived.

It was a closed meeting, stretching into the long shadowy hours of the evening. Legal advisors quibbled over clauses while Scott exchanged pleasantries with the company representatives, talking up his local ties to New Zealand’s City of Sails.

“My Dad taught me to sail, right out there in the harbour, you know.”

A casual remark but carefully designed to make himself seem approachable and down-to-earth, just another “one of the guys”. His associate had also sailed once, a national representative in his youth, although time and his new habit of lunch meetings had left those days long in the past.

Personal connections made more money than the lawyers in the background ever could, and Scott prided himself on the homegrown touch.

“Mine too,” said the jovial, middle aged man. “Although I reckon it wasn’t near as pretty a yacht as yours. I’ve read up on you as well, you know.”

Scott laughed, clapping the man on the shoulder.

“Len, I knew we’d get on. What do you say to dinner? This has been going on for far too long.”

“I know a great place that keeps a table reserved for me. Even on Valentine’s.”

“I’m flattered.” He nodded to Van Zyl briefly before addressing the small crowd.

“Ladies, gentlemen. You’ve done some good work, and it’s been a long one. We’ll leave it here for the night and reconfer in the morning.”

He acknowledged the tired smiles and leaned back and listened as the chatter evolved from the dry intricacies of patent law into cheery conversation of dinner plans and family time ahead.

He turned and looked out at the city, lights starting to turn on in the early evening light. The sun wouldn’t set for another half hour or so and he wanted to make the most of what they had left in the day.

So did the rest of the Auckland population it seemed. Cars were flooding into the area, people starting to stream into office buildings.

“So, Federal Street?”

“Len, what’s going on down there?” he asked, jabbing a finger down at the street below.

“Sorry?”

He and Len watched, dumbfounded as the office buildings lit up one by one, lights turning on and off again mere minutes later.

“Mr Tracy! Mr Van Zyl!”

“Charlotte, what is it? What’s happening?”

“Oh, Scott, I mean, Mr Tracy, sorry sir.”

“Charlotte. Take a breath,” commanded Scott, letting the authority of Thunderbird One bleed into his voice. “Tell us what’s happened.”

Charlotte shook her head, her hand creeping up over her mouth. She handed him her tablet.

“It’s a civil defence lockdown, effective midnight.”

A cold dread crept up Scott’s spine.

“Tonight?!”

Len pulled out a comm beside him and started dialling. The person on the other end picked up at the first ring, and dimly Scott could hear her calm, measured voice transmitted through the device.

“Can I help?” he asked, still staring at the stark words on the page.

“I… uh... help? Sir?”

“With the civil defence response, with the company, I don’t know!” He looked up, desperation in his eyes. “What can I do to help?”

Charlotte shook her head, pressing her lips together tightly.

“Mr Tracy, we have an isolation response in place, at your father’s request. Leave the board to organise the company, you need to get home and…”

“No.”

Charlotte’s voice pitched up a near octave.

“Sir, I must insist…”

“There are lockdown protocols on the island as well,” snapped Scott. “I can’t just go home, risk my family, my Grandma.”

She shook her head again.

“You can’t help here. They’ve done it before. It’s Level Three, people will be able to collect gear tomorrow if needed, we’re set up for remote offices and the last thing people need is you dilly-dallying in the top office.”

A loud shrieking alarm pierced through her final words and Scott flinched at the sound.

Len yelped next to him, dropping his comm with a curse.

“Damn emergency alerts, don’t they know the whole country has heard by now? Why do they just SHUT UP!” he bellowed at the still beeping comm. “It’s so unnecessary, the first time we went under, I thought we were about to evacuate for a volcanic eruption. Staying home, it’s hardly an emergency.”

Charlotte did little to hide her scorn, but Scott smothered a smile as he read through the full message.

“Okay, fine,” he said at last. “I can bunker down at the apartment for a few days.”

“Weeks, I’d be prepping for,” interrupted Len. “Hard to say of course, but they keep extending them.”

“You know why we do it,” said Charlotte, coolly.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I have to pretend it’s a holiday like everyone else seems to do.”

“Well, there never was any rest for the wicked, they say,” quipped Scott.

Len barked a sudden laugh.

“You’re alright, Tracy. Shame about how this ended, I’d have liked a bite with you.”

“Well, there’s always next time. Maybe we’ll find time for a shared celebration after all this.”

“My treat, Tracy, my treat,” he said with a chuckle. “Take care now.”

Scott nodded a farewell and turned back to Charlotte.

“You’re going to be fine?”

“I’ll go stay with my Mum,” she said, easily. “She doesn’t like to be in her house alone, and I can’t say I blame her. Holotech’s just not the same as being there, you know?”

“I certainly do,” said Scott, thinking of his brothers, hundreds of kilometres away. “Thank you, Charlotte, I’ll be seeing you.”

“Good luck, Scott.”

***

The downtown apartment was a mere fifteen minute walk from Tracy Tower, but with Charlotte’s words echoing in the back of his mind, the thought of potentially weeks stuck in an incredibly well furnished, yet incredibly unstocked apartment plaguing him, he opted to swing past the local supermarket. Located at the heart of the city, it was never quiet at the best of times but this was unlike anything Scott had ever seen.

The tension in the packed shop was thick as the throng that filled it. Over half the customers were already wearing masks, glaring suspiciously at those who had gone without and Scott self-consciously tugged his rain jacket higher.

Essentials, he thought wildly, just eggs and milk and bread and….

There was no bread. No flour either and the confectionary aisle was already looking sparse. He grabbed a few chocolate bars and threw them in the basket.

“Excuse me,” he said, waving down a frantic and wild-eyed shop assistant. “Do you have any bread out back?”

“No way man, haven’t you heard? Lockdown hits in like three hours, people are going mental.”

“But I don’t have any food at home, I was meant to be flying back tomorrow morning.”

The shop assistant, Ariki as his name badge proclaimed him, grimaced in sympathy.

“That’s hard luck that is. You don’t live in Auckland?”

“No, I don’t. But I won’t be able to get home now either.”

He nodded, like he’d heard it before.

“You’re thinking this is like last year, aren’t you?”

“I, uh, yes.”

“Right,” said Ariki, still nodding along with him. “Right, well it’s not quite the same so don’t stress out. Look, you can still get takeaways this time, we’ll be restocked tomorrow and all the real crazies–” he nodded towards a pair who were arguing over what looked like the last can of baked beans, “–yeah, they’ll be tucked up at home, refusing to take a step outside, it’ll be sweet as.”

Scott stared at him, then looked over at the line snaking through the frozen food aisle, between the meat and dairy and coiling up in the sad looking and so-called fresh produce.

The two chocolate bars and eggs he’s managed to grab hardly seemed worth it at all.

“I can put those back if you want.”

“Yeah,” said Scott, dazedly. “Yeah, thanks that’s be great.”

Ariki smirked a little.

“We’re reopening at seven, yeah? I’ll see you then.”

“Thanks again,” called Scott as he hurried from the shop.

The rain that had been threatening its arrival all weekend was starting to appear, and Scott hurried home, ducking his head down and shoving his hands in his pockets. He knew there’d be enough food for at least his dinner tonight and Ariki was right, he could sort the rest in the morning.

A swipe of his keycard, and he shut out the world with a muffled slam of the door and a sigh.

He shucked off his rain jacket, not bothering to hang it up, and trudged into the kitchen. It wasn’t like there’d be anyone around to complain for a while and he was starving. Lunch, the little afternoon tea nibbles they’d provided, even his last coffee felt like it had been drunken in another life.

Dinner, then finally he’d call home.

He didn’t doubt they already knew what was happening, was probably wondering why he hadn’t called, but none of them had even been swept up in the chaos of lockdown preparations.

He stared blankly in front of the fridge, the cold, bluish light illuminating him in the dark room. The sun had fully set by now, and the last vestiges of twilight had given way to the true, deep night with the onset of rainfall.

His carefully defrosting steak wasn’t on the shelf, and he looked around him in confusion, wondering if he’d accidentally left the meat out on the bench. He was hungry enough that he didn’t think he’d care and his stomach was well practiced at digesting the indigestible, bug and all.

On the kitchen counter was a neat pile: a plate, used utensils and cooking equipment all stacked together, waiting to be washed.

Scott blinked.

“Oh, hey, Scott,” called Gordon’s cheerful voice from behind him.

Scott whirled around, gaping at his younger brother, suddenly in their New Zealand apartment and not where he ought to have been – namely a thousand odd kilometres north east of the kitchen they were standing in.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“You,” Scott shouted, jabbing a finger towards Gordon. “You ate my dinner!”

“Oh, crap.”

Gordon bolted a split second before Scott charged at him, yelling wildly with all his might.

“Scott, I’m sorry, it was – shit, I mean – come on, it was past nine, I thought you’d been out, and I, oh damn, I, Scott, damn it, I’m not dressed.”

“I don’t care, you ate my food, have you seen the grocery stores? It’s absolute chaos, you traitor, you can go out and get me something, put some pants on and move.”

Gordon yelped as he dove over the couch.

“Okay, I can see there’s been some errors in judgement here,” said Gordon, panting. “I’m sorry, Scott, I really am.”

Scott glared.

“Not good enough.” He paused, eyeing Gordon as he cowered behind the sofa. “What are you even doing here?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Here. What are you doing in Auckland?”

“Happy birthday to me too, love you bro, congrats on surviving another year.”

“You came to Auckland for your birthday?”

“Yeah.” Gordon sat up cautiously. “Couldn’t exactly see Penny, and it’s not like there’s many other places that will let us in.”

“I thought we counted as a US territory.”

“John cleared it with someone, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Didn’t want to be stuck at home for my birthday. And look how that turned out.”

He did look extraordinarily sorry for himself.

Scott sighed, and reached out a hand.

“Go get some damn pants on,” he grumbled. “And go look for Virgil’s emergency snacks, I know he stores them everywhere.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I mean it, don’t you dare come back unless you bring me food.”

Gordon snorted.

“Sure, wouldn’t want to provoke the wrath of a starving Scooter.”

Scott jerked his body towards Gordon, and smirked as he bolted up the stairs towards the bedrooms, before sinking down into the cushions and closing his eyes.

The comm beeped gently, a stark contrast from the blaring alert from earlier.

“Hey,” he said, opening an eye as Virgil was projected in front of him.

“Tell me you’re not–”

“Oh, I am.”

“Gordon too?”

“Yep.”

“Damn.”

“Tell me about it.”

They were both quiet for few seconds, thinking about how rapidly the world had seemed to shift around them.

“I suppose it’s only for a few days,” began Virgil, but Scott was already shaking his head.

“We gotta do the full two weeks. After that, we ought to be able to clear an exit with the harbourmaster and the coast guard, even if it’s not over, but we can’t come back earlier. The only reason we could move freely before without our helmets is because–”

“Preaching to the choir, Scott. I get it.”

“You gonna be alright without us?”

Virgil shrugged. “Rescues are down what with more people staying at home. Alan and I can handle the small change, and Kayo’s been itching for some POD practice recently. We’ll manage. Besides, you’re the one stuck with Gordon.”

“Hey!”

“Food,” growled Scott and Gordon threw a muesli bar and a tube of M&Ms at him.

“Is that mine?”

“Gordon ate my dinner and the shops were out of everything,” grumbled Scott. “Blame him.”

“It’s my birthday, I don’t deserve this.”

“Cry me a river.”

“Alright, don’t kill each other before the two weeks is up. John’s already organised a betting pool, don’t give him the satisfaction of winning again, he’ll be insufferable.”

“Oh, he’s on,” said Gordon, grinning. “Tell him I put fifty bucks on Scott tipping me out of bed or off the couch by the end of the week.”

“Got it.”

“You can’t bet against us,” said Scott, mumbling around the chocolate. “I thought you were on my side.”

“You tried to murder me over a steak.”

“The jury would have never convicted.”

“Okay, I can see you two are going to have a fun time,” said Virgil, loudly over their bickering. “See you in two weeks.”

He didn’t wait for a response. After all, two weeks was a smidge outside even his patience.

[blandbookchortles]

Handbook for Mortals: Chapter 0: The Fool

The first thing we learn about Zade, our protagonist, is that

I've always envied those with normal lives

and goes on to tell us that her life has never been normal, and that she'd give anything to be normal. I'm not going to lie; I probably wrote something like this when I was 15, but in my defense, everyone in my family was suffering from clinical depression, and also I was 15.

I’m sure most people would envy me, but some days I think I’d trade places in a heartbeat.

You know how Harry Potter lives with abusive relatives before being whisked away to Hogwarts? And how Katniss is always on the brink of starvation? YA characters often start out in relatively shitty conditions because it automatically gives them motivation to pursue their grand adventure, and also because it automatically makes them sympathetic. Hell, even Bella of the Twilight series had her whole life uprooted and moved to a shitty little town.

Basically, my point is that a character complaining that their life is enviably (though nonspecifically) unusual isn't a good way to get readers on their side.

You might expect Zade to launch into a scene depicting her non-normal-yet-enviable life, so that her circumstances are more clear to the reader, but nope, we get more contemplation on the nature of desire.

Isn’t it true we always want what we can’t have? The grass is always greener, so to speak. Of course, if you really checked out the other side, you’d probably find out that the grass is Astroturf—fake and brittle and lifeless.

Besides the point that this little paragraph adds nothing to this little introductory section that also adds nothing, and besides the point that "the grass may be greener but it's astroturf" is a pretty played-out metaphor, I also want to point out that eventually, when Zade goes off on her Grand Adventure, she has the time of her life and frequently celebrates how normal it all is (despite the fact that it's not. At all). So in Zade's case, the grass is not "always greener" and it is not "astroturf."

Zade tells us that she's decided to spare us the details of what exactly it is that's so unusual about her life, instead opting for starting on the day she left home.

Which makes me wonder why she didn't just start there in the first place.

But then she just continues on with her monologue:

I knew I was choosing a path, and hoped it was the right one.

Really? She hoped the path she was choosing was the right one? Glad she specified that.

Either way, I knew that once I made my choice that was it. I couldn’t double back and try again. It was to be how it was to be.

Because once you leave home, you can never come back. This might actually hold water if she were given some kind of ultimatum, but [spoilers] she doesn't.

I personally believe some things in life are chosen by Destiny and some things are your choice. You have options in most situations, but there are certain paths that you have no choice but to go down.

She still hasn't begun the story, but instead I guess we get more of Lani Sarem's personal views on predetermination and free will. She goes on about how struggling against capital-D Destiny is futile, etc etc, and is then generous enough to counsel her audience about their ultimate lack of agency:

My advice? Don’t fight it. Destiny will always win. I’m pretty sure Destiny doesn’t play fair, either, but I don’t think that even matters here.

WELL, THEN WHY IS THAT IN HERE?  Why is Lani/Zade giving advice? If she wants to write a novel about the futility of fighting destiny, then show us situations in which the protagonist fights her destiny and fails. But that's not even what this book is about. This entire little tangent is irrelevant.

Then Zade talks about how some memories stick with you forever for another paragraph, which is another theme that is never mentioned again. But it's just meant as a segue into the actual story; you can practically feel the Microsoft Movie Maker Ripple transition that will undoubtedly be used in the film. And finally, after 463 words, we have finally arrived at the first scene.

We learn that it is July, and that it is overcast, and, not even a full sentence into the first proper paragraph of the story, we learn all about Zade's hair:

the wind that blew swiftly through my blonde hair. It also spun about the chunky pieces on the lower half of my long hair, which I had dyed to be a multitude of fun colors. Today they were pink, purple, blue, and a turquoise green, but I have a habit of changing the colors frequently. My perfectly cut bangs stayed mostly unaffected by the wind except for a few squirrelly pieces.

These are the important details, folks. As you'll soon realize, Zade is a cancerous mass around which all other characters revolve; the only other works I can think of that are so blatantly portraits of hilarious narcissism are "My Immortal" and "Pale Fire". But then, I'm pretty sure it's intentional in both of those. The narcissism on display here is almost certainly not.

Then we get to go back to the weather, which feels like a thunderstorm, and Zade tells us at length (200 words!) that she loves thunderstorms.

I’d lived in that one-horse southern town my whole life, practically a quarter of a century.

So our protagonist is about 24 years old, but this novel is being sold as "young adult."

Zade tells us that "Old people" say that Centerville, was the capital of Tennesee for day but then Andrew Jackson changed it. Here are Zade's thoughts on the matter:

I guess it’s true, though I’ve never really been able to confirm that, nor do I guess it really matters.

Hey, Lani, I'm going to give you a quick and dirty editing tip: when you find yourself writing something along the lines of "but that doesn't matter," consider deleting whatever immediately preceded those words.

My mother is the area tarot card reader and spell caster.

She makes it sound like an official position.

People come to see Zade's mother when they want their fortunes told, and I'm not sure why Lani thought that the audience wouldn't infer this on their own. People in Zade's town think her mother is the devil, but Zade points out that there are all sorts of prophetically-inclined people in the Bible. You can tell that Lani probably argued about this a lot when she went through her Wicca phase.

Zade laments the hypocrisy of the townsfolk, and alludes to the fact that her family actually is ~magic~. She tells us that her family's weird reputation made it so that she had no friends growing up.

It’s hard to be looked at not for who you are but for what people think you are.

So, to get this straight, the townsfolk don't want their kids to play with Zade because they think she's magic. But Zade actually *is* magic. So the assertion that Zade is looked at "not for who she is but for who people think she is" is wrong. She is magic, and she is looked at as magic. She can complain about not being given a chance, but the way her complaint is phrased makes it sound as though she actually doesn't have any weird powers.

Zade takes a step off of her porch, and breifly describes the house before getting sidetracked into her own appearance again:

My well-worn and once brightly colored (but now badly faded with dirt spackle) Converse high-top sneakers made a quick tapping noise on each step. I had just replaced the laces on them so at least they looked somewhat decent. My favorite high-waisted Levi’s dark denim skinny jeans—ripped in all the right places—made the swishing noise as I lifted my legs and my perfect flowy Lucky’s top that I wear far too often billowed around me.

I guess one of Zade's powers is some kind of narrative time-dilation, because it takes her 151 words to say "I stepped off the front porch"

I rarely think this, but I wish a photographer had taken my picture at that moment as the outfit and the background and I may have produced a cool-looking photo.

I like how Lani makes sure to say that Zade "rarely thinks this", because even she can tell that Zade is giving the impression of being really, really into herself.

And then she tells us in 79 words that her house is an old plantation-style manor. "Gone with the Wind" is name-dropped.

And as she's putting her bags into her car, we get our third description of Zade's appearence.

People tell me I’m pretty all the time, beautiful even. I’m not sure I see what they see. I think I’m more of a cute, average-looking girl. I’m slender but I do not believe most would say skinny. Not “hot-girl skinny,” at least. I have long legs that are toned but I think my thighs are too large and I do not have a thigh gap. My arms are kinda flabby and while I do have an hourglass figure I have always felt my butt is a little too big and my face is a bit too round.

Just so you know, there have been about 270 words devoted to describing Zade's appearance so far. I am going to keep a running count, because I am now genuinely curious how much of this book is literally just descriptions of the author.

And if you have any doubts that Lani Sarem hasn't just described herself, just do a Google image search of "Lani Sarem".  According to her Model Mayhem page (which, of course she has one), Lani is 35 years old, which is 10 years older than Zade is meant to be. And I'm not saying 35 is old, or anything, but it's not 25. I'm interested to know if the studio will even let her play her the part of Zade, since Hollywood generally hates women over the age of 30. I'm not sure if I'm rooting for her, because fuck Hollywood's misogyny, or against her, because fuck her unethical attempts at achieving stardom.

Anyway, as Zade leaves her house, her mother, Dela, chases after her, and tries to convince her to stay.

Even when she was in a hurry she never looked like she was rushing or running but instead floating gingerly.

"Floating gingerly" is an odd combination of words. I'm not sure if "timid ghost" was the image Lani wanted to conjure up in our minds, but that's my first impression of Zade's mother.

I am my mother’s daughter, an exact replica. Pictures of her when she was my age look like they are of me. She still looks younger than her years, though.

I'm guessing Lani wants to play her in the movie as well. To be fair, it would help keep production costs down.

Zade confronts her mother, and expresses that she doesn't want to spend her life in a shitty little town reading tarot cards, and Dela expresses incredulity at this. Zade takes a moment to be mildly conflicted.

A big part of me loved the place and being there with her. It was comfortable. And, as much as I wasn’t always completely accepted by everyone in the town, I still belonged.

We have yet to be shown that Zade's life isn't "normal." Besides the fact that her mom has a kind of weird job and she's not the most popular girl in school, her life sounds ridiculously unremarkable. But we were also told that her life's been crazy, and I'm just not getting that impression at all.

Zade thinks about her childhood some more, and sees where she wrote her name in the concrete of the driveway. It's written backwards, because:

Due to my dyslexia, I could write things perfectly—but I wrote them backwards. It wasn’t till I was nine almost ten I could write the proper way without a lot of thought.

So obviously (1) that's not how dyslexia works, and (2), this is obviously setting up something later where her ability to write backwards will come in handy, right?

Nope. It's never mentioned again.

Zade thinks about how her mother could never understand her desire for a normal life. She imagines her mother quoting  Dr. Seuss

Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?

Aside from the unnecessary comma, I think is is another instance of Lani Sarem getting all her favorite quotes from inspirational image macros. I swear, she probably owns at least one piece of home decor that says "Live Laugh Love". My bet is on a throw pillow.

Also, I cannot find a source for Dr. Seuss actually saying "Why fit in when you were more to stand out". It, like the C.S. Lewis epigraph, appears to be wrongly attributed.

Zade's response to the pseudo-Seuss quote is this:

“Why would I want to stand out? People who stand out get things thrown at them. People who stand out get called names and shoved into lockers. If the people who don’t stand out are too cowardly to do any of the previously mentioned options then they just awkwardly whisper about you—the people who do stand out—as you walk by.”

"Why would I want to stand out?" asks the girl with technicolor hair.

I wonder what Zade is going to be doing once she leaves her shitty town? It sounds like she wants to go to a big city and just totally blend in, right? I could totally see her wanting to just get a 9-5 job as a receptionist, not make waves, watch Netflix everynight-- you know, normal stuff.

Zade's mom also wonders what Zade will be doing, and asks her.

Zade gets all shifty, and bites her lip, and says she has an audition.

“You’re going to audition for that show?”

Yep. Zade, who doesn't want to stand out, has aspirations of being a performer of some kind. It makes total sense, if you're Lani Sarem, I guess.

Zade says she doesn't know what's been keeping her in the shitty town for so long, and her mother said that she "had her ways". What these ways are, we never find out (even though Zade seems to know what she means by this, so I suppose it has to do with magic). The two argue some more, and it's all very emotional.

Zade says this line you can tell Lani was proud of:

“No. You haven’t ruined my life, Mom, but you also have to let me go live it now. I need to--" I choked, unable to finish.

but then they hug and I guess all is well because their conflict is never brought up ever again.

Zade gets into her car, and whaddya know, the perfect song starts blaring on the radio! It's "Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks, and the lyrics are eerily appropriate. So appropriate, in fact, that they are included in the text:

Who doesn’t know what I’m talking about

Who’s never left home, who’s never struck out

To find a dream and a life of their own

A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow

A young girl’s dreams no longer hollow

It takes the shape of a place out west

But what it holds for her, she hasn’t yet guessed

She needs wide open spaces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the high stakes

Yep, this song is going to be in the movie, or at least Lani really wants it to be.

Even the “high stakes” reference was perfect, considering that I was headed toward Las Vegas. I had a long road ahead of me—and an even longer road when I got there—but it was what I knew that I needed to do, without any doubt.

And we learn that the show Zade is going to perform in is in Las Vegas. I am so confused about Zade's motivation for leaving. She's leaving her comfortable small town where she feels she "belongs" (even if she is a bit of a weirdo), and is going to perform in a show in Las Vegas, that most normal of cities, because she wants a "normal life" and doesn't want to "stand out." Seems legit.

You can also tell that when this is a movie, when Zade drives off into the West, the camera is going to zoom up and out while the Dixie Chicks song plays, and then the title card is going to fade in as the camera pans up toward the sky. Maybe there will be a magical road trip montage while the opening credits roll.

But that's the end of chapter 1--I mean, chapter 0. Next time: Zade auditions for the big magic show and meets many people with one-syllable names.

[telusmobility]

The misdemeanors may

The misdemeanors may be committed due to difficult circumstances, but the aftermath is not easy at all. However, now there is hope. Governments around the world are working towards integrating convicted felons back into society after they pay their due to law..

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