#first one was a woman in her mid 30s who was like- oh? you own a lot if plush animals? isn't there a name for that like uh- fur.. furry? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

potatomountain · 8 months ago

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Bittersweet Neighbors

💝 Pairing/AU: Single dad Seonghwa x afab neighbor

💝 Genre: Angst, some fluff, single dad au, smut, Rate M for mature audiences

💝 Word Count: 14.1k

💝 Warnings: Mentions and implications of abuse, threats, baby trapping, alcohol consumption, smut warnings under cut, Seonghwa is aged up (roughly early 30s) so slight age gap (5-8 years-ish)

💝 In collab with @daemour Fluff/Angst Dilf Hwa-

💝 Their half of the collab, Fluffy Dilf Hwa, is "I Can See You"

💝 Network: @pirateeznet

💝 Smut warnings: oral (m & f receiving), unprotected sex, slightly intoxicated sex, big dick Hwa, long tongue hwa, pussy drunk hwa

Kids weren’t your thing- single dad’s with young kids were most definitely not your thing- but something about this one had you pause.

Your new neighbor: Park Seonghwa.

He looked far too pretty to be moving into the somewhat rundown apartment building you were in, but the young girl with him was probably the reason why. She had to be about seven almost? Maybe eight? The first time meeting them was brief as he just knocked on your door and introduced himself and his daughter Eun-byeol as your new neighbors, then moved on to the apartment across from his.

They were both polite and quiet, almost meek. He wore dull clothes while she was dressed in new and bright clothes, clearly more cared for than her father. Something about that had your heart melting a bit for them.

It was the second time you interacted where you really got curious about them; about him. You caught sight of them at the diner just down the street from your apartment, he was giving her all of his attention and smiling in such a loving way your own heart reacted. You had debated on asking to join them, but didn't want to ruin the cute daddy-daughter date that was going on.

Instead you sat at the bar and just watched, only to get caught staring when he had leaned over to wipe some sauce off Eun-byeol's cheek. His smile seemed a little more closed off but still friendly, sending you a wave before he turned his attention back to his daughter.

Soft guys like that also weren't your type but it took some time to get your cheeks to stop burning. It was obvious he was a good dad who adored and cared for his daughter with his entire wellbeing, even if this was the second time you encountered him.

But the third time you were just down right concerned. The young girl had knocked on your door, alone, which made you several levels of uncomfortable and confused.

She pointed at her apartment, where you could now make out yelling from the cracked door: a female yelling. The young girl looked up at you with eyes that matched her father's, filled with innocent worry. “Can you help Daddy?”

You didn't get a chance to ask what she meant, the man in question calling out for her and stepping out. He swept her up in his arms, relief heavy in his tone. “Don't do that Eun-byeol… I was worried.” He checked her over, relief visibly settling his features before he turned to you for an apology. “I'm sorry for the disturbance, I'll talk to Eun-byeol about it.”

“It's no problem- really.” You somehow managed to get out naturally despite your sudden rigid posture. It was blazingly obvious why the little girl had said what she did, a marked cheek and busted lip marred his pretty features. The need to know what was going on was overwhelming, urging your next words. “May I ask what she is concerned about?”

Seonghwa looked taken aback, glancing down at his daughter who was clearly worried, but neither got a chance to reply before someone else was stepping out of the apartment. “Seonghwa I wasn’t fucking done talking to you- oh.”

All eyes moved to the woman standing there, head to toe in designer clothes, looking as if she just stepped out of a runway show. She narrowed her eyes on you, looking you over and clearly sneering at your outfit; you weren’t dressed to accept company after all. “Did you really run off mid conversation to bother this?”

“N-no Soojin, Eunbyeol had a question for her.” The panic in his eyes squeezed your heart but not as much as the protective hold he had on the little girl.

You stepped forward, forcing a friendly smile as so much made sense suddenly. “She was just asking me if I was still going to bake some treats for her. I told her to remind me before the weekend.” The lie fell off your lips with ease, and thankfully Seonghwa didn’t let his shock show. “Right Eunbyeol? That's what you were coming over for? I’m sure you wanted to know if I was going to make enough to share right?”

Eunbyeol did look confused, glancing over at the woman before nodding. “Y-yes. Wanted to give some to Mommy.”

Soojin seemed to relax a bit at that, smiling at the girl. “Aw baby, you were just thinking about me?” She stepped over, reaching for the girl who, even to your eyes, seemed a little hesitant to climb into the woman’s arms. “Mmm then I would definitely like some. But you’re coming to Mommy’s house tonight right?”

“I can have them ready for when you get back. Although I wasn’t told when?”

“Sunday. Eunbyeol goes with her mother every other weekend.” Seonghwa didn’t tear his eyes off the girl in question and you could see the sadness in them. “Soojin came to pick her up today.”

You nodded, watching the woman fret over Eunbyeol’s appearance while murmuring about getting her some new things and about shopping. “Daddy is giving Mommy some extra money to get you some more school clothes- and a little for Mommy too. Are you excited?” She giggled, turning on her heel to head back inside. When she looked up at Seonghwa she sneered again. “You are, right?”

“Y-yes. Just tell me how much.” He mumbled, pulling out his tattered wallet. He opened it to quite a lot of cash there, which once more had you wondering why he was living in this shit end apartment.

“All of it.” Soojin held her perfectly manicured hand out. “Nothing less for our Princess right?”

As he handed over every bill, you didn’t think much of that was going towards Eunbyeol at all. Never before had you disliked a person so fast. In fact, your blood boiled and you decided you hated this woman.

She counted the bills in her hands after setting Eunbyeol down, seemingly not that satisfied with the amount. “You think this is enough?”

“I’m sorry, her school fees came out this week.” He muttered, not looking at the angry woman’s face.

She scoffed, grabbed Eunbyeol’s hand and pulled her into the apartment. “Then find a way to make enough. Deadbeat fucking man.”

Once she disappeared into the apartment you turned your full attention to Seonghwa, heart shattering at the worn out saddened expression on his face. “H-Hey, Seonghwa? What kind of cookies do you and Eunbyeol like?”

“They like Mint chocolate and Eunbyeol isn’t picky otherwise.” He muttered, avoiding your gaze.

You scoffed, leaning down to capture his gaze. “I asked what cookies you and your daughter like, not her and her… mother.” You could hardly call her that with a straight face.

“I…” He seemed genuinely surprised by your interest, lifting his head to reply when he was called by Soojin. “Strawberry treats… We both love those.” He whispered like it was a secret before rushing into his apartment with a quick wave, saying goodbye to you.

Stepping back into your apartment, you started a google search for easy strawberry baked treats. Now you didn’t bake much, but that was now your plan for the weekend.

You were going to bake by yourself, but something had been nagging at you. It kept you up all night almost, leaving you a bit restless the next day. One thing was for certain, if Eunbyeol was gone what was Seonghwa doing?

It was obvious the life he had now, the struggle on his shoulders, and you could not turn your head away and ignore him. Not when he looked at Eunbyeol like she was his entire world. Not when that little girl was clearly worried about her father, who definitely needed help. But who were you to tell him what to do?

You were just the neighbor.

Instead of being disheartened by that, the next morning you knocked on his door, tapping your foot impatiently. He looked a bit perplexed when he opened up, but offered you a friendly small smile. “Yes?”

“Are you free today?” You blurted out, taking in the baggy sweater he wore before meeting his gaze. “I have to go to the store to get some things, and then I’m gonna bake. Was thinking if you are free, you could come with?”

It seemed to take him a moment to realize you were asking him to accompany you, but when it hit he was smiling with such pure happiness your heart fluttered. “I’d love to.”

Seonghwa was even sweeter and softer than you had thought, so shy at first but by the end of the day he seemed plenty comfortable in your presence: all it took was offering Eunbyeol up as a topic and he had an awful lot to say. He was animated, happy, and just down right adorable talking about his daughter. The only time it dampened was when the subject of her mother came into the picture.

You found out he and Soojin had been college sweethearts and separated for about a year now. He didn’t disclose why the two of you split up, but you didn’t need him to answer it: the way the two interacted yesterday spoke volumes on why.

You hadn’t wanted the day to end with just shopping so you convinced him to help you bake, informing him you really didn’t know how. The laugh he gave was music to your ears, and you spent the better part of the evening messing up your kitchen to try and hear it again.

Not wanting it to end, you offered to do this again. “I work from home so I don’t really have a social life, so whenever Eunbyeol is away maybe we can make something for her? Together?”

He seemed genuinely happy, nodding without a second of hesitation. “Please?” The beady eyes he sent your way made it hard to believe he was in his early thirties.

The next day Eun-byeol was back in the morning, knocking on your door with her mother and some of the treats in hand. You had a feeling Soojin wasn't going to let Seonghwa have any, so you had made sure he had his fill last night. You were glad you did now that the entire leftover batch was in the hands of the two before you. “I see you got the treats?”

“Mm yes, Eun-byeol wanted to thank you. Didn't you Princess? You wanted to have a nice conversation with the nice lady? Maybe watch something with her?” Soojin not-so-gently pushed her forehead, which had you frowning a bit. Her attempt of panning the child off was obvious, and if you didn't like the father of said child you would decline.

But you didn't want to send the wrathful woman onto him and the young girl, so you opened your door wider. “I actually wanted to show you something Eun-byeol, so come on in. I'm sure your father won't mind if I steal you for a bit?” You smiled down sweetly, hoping to ease the young girl's worries.

Eun-byeol relaxed and nodded, stepping into your apartment and waving at her mother. “Bye mom.”

“Mm bye sweetie. Daddy will come get you shortly.” She didn't say anything else as she headed into the apartment next door, and you hoped Seonghwa wasn't going to have another bruise on his face.

Shutting the door you glanced down at the once more awkward girl. Sighing, you bent down to her eye level and held out a hand. “Say Eun-byeol, what do you like to watch?”

“Animal crossing or Lego videos. Daddy likes to watch them when he's sad.” She admitted, playing with the bag of cookies in her hand. “B-but I want to watch those with him.”

You nodded sympathetically, thinking it over. Eun-byeol was Seonghwa's whole world, but you had a feeling that was mutual for the little girl before you. “I understand, and I'm sure your dad can come join us when your Mom leaves. Why don't we get everything set up, maybe find some snacks, and surprise him with it?”

She lit up at the idea, the same way Seonghwa lit up when talking about her. It was endearing how much the two were alike, and under other circumstances you might tease them for it. “Yes please!” Just like with her father, it was easy to get her to open up when talking about the other person.

Eun-byeol helped you set up your couch with extra blankets and some of the plushies you had- which for the eight-year-old (she had clarified) the plushies had been a very serious decision. The pink bunny you had was ultimately her favorite and she had gotten cozy on the couch while you started prepping snacks. The atmosphere was pretty nice between the two of you, kind of cozy, until there was a slight bang on your apartment wall that drew your attention.

It was of course the wall connecting you to Seonghwa's apartment. Frowning, you stepped over to the wall, telling Eun-byeol not to worry and instead look at the YouTube videos and find a nice one. Your TV was on the opposite end of your living room, the wall that was connected to your bedroom, so the sound helped the young girl from hearing the next noises that you heard.

Moans.

You had to press your ear to the wall to hear it a little better, but it was mostly a woman. Your eyes went wide, making out something she said that had your blood heating up and running cold at once.

“You'll really do anything to keep her won't you? Pathetic.”

Stepping away quickly you went back to grabbing snacks- which really was just your usual assortment that you brought to the coffee table and sat them down. With the video playing you couldn't hear what was going on in the apartment besides the occasional bang. And when you heard that- you tried not to think about the matter.

It wasn't your place, even if you were watching their child.

The bangs didn't last for long and you easily got sucked into the videos, snacking away with Eunbyeol right next to you, mimicking some of the sounds from the animal crossing characters. When there was a knock on your door you went to grab it, not wanting to disturb the young girl. You already knew it was Seonghwa.

He stood there freshly showered and damp hair still sticking to his forehead, looking away as soon as he saw you. “I'm here to get Eunbyeol… I'm sorry you were asked to watch her so suddenly.”

With an easygoing smile you opened the door wider. “It's not an issue, really, she's quite nice to be around. Though I did promise her we would all enjoy some snacks and videos and I would hate to disappoint. So come in?”

Hesitantly he did, shoes pulled off as he stuck his head in and spotted his daughter looking over the back of the couch like a meerkat. Watching their faces both light up the same way at seeing each other you couldn't help but smile fondly.

Eunbyeol did a good job convincing him to get comfortable and enjoy the snacks, playing another video she had found and then asking you to sit down with her. You gave the two space, and as the video continued you found yourself watching them more than the video. They were in their own world almost, though they would pull you in occasionally to point out something on the screen.

Despite your concerns over awkwardness, there was none. A few hours past and you ordered take out on your dime. The three of you ate and they stayed until Eunbyeol was falling asleep on his lap.

“Thank you for this. It really means a lot that you did.” Seonghwa was picking up the sleeping girl in his arms, her small arms loosely wrapped around his neck as she drooled on his shoulder.

“Again, it was nice having some company. I told you I work from home so I don't go out much. Can I ask you something though Seonghwa?” You were picking up the blankets, your plush forever glued to the little girl's hands so you made no effort to take it.

He nodded, attempting to help you with cleaning up but you gently swatted at his hand. “Ask me anything I can answer.”

“Is this normal for you? Your ex-wife dropping your daughter off and sending her away so she can have adult time with you?” It came out easier than you expected, but you couldn't look him in the eye either. So instead you focused on picking up the snacks.

Seonghwa had gone rigid, his hand halting on Eunbyeol’s back. “Did Eunbyeol-”

“No she didn't hear anything, I kept her by the TV when I first heard it.” You explained, taking the snacks to the kitchen. “Does it happen often?”

When he didn't reply right away you glanced up, heart sinking as you realized he had tears in her eyes. “N-not every time, but whenever she isn't dating anyone or I don't give her enough money. Usually Eunbyeol is sent to her room and told to listen to music or something. I ask her to be quiet but-”

“You don't have to go into details.” You could tell it upset him just to think about it. “She doesn't like that it happens, she can tell that you are sad after. It was her suggestion for the videos.” You made your way over, eyes on the little girl. “I know it's not my place but… the next time, let's do this again.”

He softened at your proposal, nodding. “Thank you, I'd like that.”

And like that it became routine. Every other weekend would be the same. Eunbyeol would stop by your apartment Friday afternoon and tell you what treat she would like as an excuse to say goodbye. Saturday you and Seonghwa would go shopping, and then bake together. Sunday morning Eunbyeol would knock on your door and the two of you would prepare the living area for video time until Seonghwa would arrive freshly showered and with fresh hickies on his neck. You would order dinner and they would leave once Eunbyeol fell asleep.

It happened for about four more months before Seonghwa's work had him take on overtime, in which you were kindly asked to pick up from school and watch Eunbyeol three days a week. You didn't mind, the two of you had gotten rather close with how sweet she was.

You didn't think it would get old comparing the two of them, the many ways Eun-byeol was like her father, and you did get comfortable enough with them to tease them for it. It had made Seonghwa incredibly proud but also flustered and it was the first time you saw him blush so cutesy. You couldn't tell him you suspected that Eun-byeol mimicked him on purpose just to make him happy, there was perhaps a chance he knew that already.

Soojin never got likable but you hadn't seen another bruise on Seonghwa's face since that first Friday. So you didn't try and butt in. Seonghwa and Eunbyeol were not happy with the woman but it was only every other weekend right? And you did your best to make them smile in your free time.

It wasn't until Seonghwa invited you out onto one of their Saturday daddy-daughter dates that you realized how close you had gotten with them. It meant a lot to you, the three of you sitting at that diner you saw him before, each eating the usual you had separately but this time together.

You both laughed as Eun-byeol got sauce on her cheek, and before Seonghwa could do so, you were wiping it off with your thumb much like a mother would. You hadn't even realized you did it until you were sitting back and caught Seonghwa's bewildered expression. “Oops, I took your favorite part huh?” You teased, only to watch him soften.

With a fond smile, he shook his head. “You just made it better is all.”

His simple admission had heat rushing to both your cheeks, eyes now downcast as you thought of the implications of that statement… and how they made you feel.

You buried those feelings until the next Saturday when you two were attempting to make homemade frosting for a cake. You held out the spatula to him, demanding he get the first taste. In his struggle to refuse some of it got on his cheek and you laughed, pulling the same move again and swiping off the frosting. “Just like your Princess.” You teased, bringing your thumb to your mouth to taste it.

But he grabbed your hand and pulled you forward, locking eyes with you as he wrapped his lips around your thumb, licking the frosting off. There was a heat in his gaze you had never seen before that had lust pooling in the pit of your stomach and halting your breath in your throat. When he pulled away his tongue darted out, your eyes following the motion and realizing he had quite a long tongue… shaking off the direction those thoughts were headed you pulled away.

The air sparked between you two with heavy tension, but neither of you said anything, just stared for a moment. It was the oven going off that broke the spell and you turned quickly, grabbing the mitts and getting the cake out of the oven. You turned all your focus onto that, and when he realized you did, his focus followed.

You dreaded the next day, not because Eunbyeol would come home but because you knew what he would do when she did; and for the first time the thought made you sick to your stomach.

You were distracted as you sat with the young girl, volume up higher than normal so you wouldn't hear the bangs. But you still did, practically flinching with each one as it rammed the realization into you over and over: you were in love with Park Seonghwa.

Being in love with him didn’t mean you wanted to step up and be more than what you were now, not with the relationship he had with his ex-wife. And even without Soojin in the picture, you knew you weren’t going to be a priority to him: His whole world was sitting right next to you on the couch, you didn’t want to take from that.

That didn’t exactly make it easy to look at him. When you heard the knock on the door you paused the tv, forcing a smile down at the confused Eunbyeol. “I’m not feeling too good so I’m going to lay down. You want to head home and watch it with your Daddy alone today?”

The concern on her features tugged at your heartstrings but you didn’t want to get any more attached. She nodded after a moment of watching you, slipping off the sofa and rushing to the door. You could hear her passing your message on to Seonghwa, his concern evident in his tone but he took Eunbyeol and left. That was the first night you cried over him.

You made an effort to avoid Seonghwa since then, declining his offer to join them at the diner the next Saturday, but kept picking up Eunbyeol from school and letting you stay with her. You found yourself dreading the next weekend, no sooner to having your feelings sorted out than the day you discovered them.

So of course, you broke some hearts. The saddened look on Eunbyeol’s face when you told her you didn’t have the time to bake anything this weekend once more pulled your heartstrings and you wanted to give in right then and there- but if you were going to bake, Seonghwa was going to join you on that endeavor and you couldn’t handle being alone with him. Not right now.

Maybe not ever.

Seonghwa had a different plan, ushering Eunbyeol back to their apartment but not moving from your doorway. When she was out of sight, the question tumbled from his lips. “What sort of plans do you have this weekend?”

You shrugged. “Got some things I got to catch up on work wise and friends to hang out with. Things like that.” Well now you couldn’t just hold yourself up in your apartment all weekend like you had hoped, although being out Sunday morning was beginning to seem like a wonderful idea. “I’ll be out Saturday night, not sure when I’ll be back Sunday so just a heads up on that too.”

“Oh…” Dejectedly he looked away, guilt slamming into your chest because you didn’t think he could make that sort of expression.

Angry more so at yourself, you bristled. “What? I do have other people I see and talk to, you know.”

Gosh did you have to be so harsh? He literally flinched at your words. “R-right, of course. Well, have fun then.”

You shut the door and relaxed against it, panic beginning to well up. Should you go and apologize? Say it was all a lie? But then you would have to admit why and that was something you most certainly couldn't do. So make the lie the truth then? Who did you know who would be welcoming to your sudden interest in making plans?

There really was just one person, and you dialed their number before much of a thought. He of course picked up, albeit voice thick with sleep. “Hey Wooyoung, can we uh, hang out this weekend?”

“Uh… I have plans to go clubbing tomorrow… I know that's not your thing Cousin.” You could hear another voice grumbling in the background, which had you feeling even more awkward. Was he dating someone?

God, could you be any more alone? “That's fine, I'll go with you. I've been cooped up too much, it feels like I'm going insane. Some chaotic fun and maybe a hookup sounds nice.” If it got your neighbor off your mind then yes, you'd gladly hook up with a stranger.

Wooyoung was just happy you wanted to hang out. “Sure! Want me to pick you up or send you the address? No, I'm coming over and helping you pick a fit. I'm bringing my friends too, including that one I told you is so your type!” He was giddy. “Sannie, my cousin finally agreed to come join us!”

Oh, how could you forget San? His long term best friend and makeshift lover? And of course the friend in question: Jeong Yunho.

Maybe this wasn’t going to be a good idea. “Fine, what time should I expect you?”

“Eight should be good, we’ll head out clubbing about 10. Need food? We can make a stop and knowing you, you live off instant ramen and quick cooking meals.” He huffed out, more shuffling on his side. “Might have some leftovers.”

You knew he was right, at least he had been. One look at your kitchen cabinets and you knew you would find more than that now: meals for Eunbyeol, healthier snacks and your fridge had quite a bit of leftovers from Seonghwa that he often dropped by after noticing the same predicament.

What would Wooyoung say if he knew that? You didn’t want to find out. “Sure whatever you want Wooyo. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.” You hung up before he got to reply, you had things to do.

And by things: wallowing in guilt and self-pity for a night. You could keep yourself busy tomorrow, drag yourself out to- to what? Were your weekends, your life, really so bland before Seonghwa came along? Just more reason to sulk it seemed. Get it out of your system before you try to think of a solution.

Things just had to change.

Eight rolled around rather quickly the next day, spending most of it like a spa day- you were attempting to get laid tonight after all. As usual, your cousin arrived and didn’t give you time to really think about anything else. It had been months since you last talked to him but he didn’t let it show at all, talking about his life and catching you up as he had you try on half your closet before settling on a dress he had gotten you before that you had never worn. He made sure you had the leftovers he brought, letting you finish before San took over for makeup and he did your hair.

Shortly after nine, you were freshly dolled up and the two were beaming over you. “May I present the lovely centerpiece of our entourage tonight!” Wooyoung happily announced, pulling you out of your room and encouraging you to model the fit for the other two friends they had brought: Yunho and Mingi. Two tall and seemingly intimidating men that Wooyoung assured you were sweethearts.

Now they were the ones that were your typical type. And the lack of pitter patter of your heart at the sight of them was heavily disappointing. Both were only a little older than you, single, no kids, and pretty chill but gave the vibe they could rock your world and take care of you if you let them.

Yet Seonghwa was the one you were thinking about. Damn, you really had it bad. “Well! No more wasting time yeah? Show me what I’m missing in my life dear cousin and company.” You winked over at the two giants, still determined to banish Seonghwa out of your mind.

Once more, easier said than done. Stepping out of your apartment, making such a racket, he was right there. Right there looking like he was ready for bed in cute pjs and messy hair and bare face, holding some garbage away from his body. He was a stark contrast to your party of 5, ready to dance the night away.

His expression did nothing to help the guilt that still sat in the pit of your stomach, almost like a wounded puppy. He muttered your name, drawing the attention of Wooyoung who was fiddling with your hair.

“Oh who is this? When did you get a hottie in your complex?” Wooyoung wiggled his brows but you gently hit him. “What? He is!”

Scoffing, you entwined your arm with his and pulled him along. “He's got a kid Wooyo, be nice.”

“That was me being nice.” He whined, waving at Seonghwa. “Hi I'm Wooyoung-”

“And we don't have time for this. Come on, I want some fun.” You tugged a little harder, causing him to stumble into you a bit and San to laugh.

“He looks fun-”

“He's just a neighbor San, now let's go.” You cut off the other man, harsher with your words as the five of you did leave. You didn't look back, you couldn't handle it if you did and saw the hurt clear as day on his features.

Wooyoung whistled as the five of you climbed into the car, he and San on either side of you while the two taller sat up front; Yunho in the driver seat. “Well, that was mighty rude of you Darling, what beef do you have with that neighbor?”

You rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms as he flung his over the seat behind you. “There is no beef.”

San lifted a brow, holding Wooyoung’s hand behind your head. “Oh then a crush?”

“There is no crush!”

“Sure sounds like it. Guess she’s off the market, Yun.” Mingi chuckled, gently tapping the other on his shoulder as he pulled the car away from the curve and into traffic

“No I’m not! He has a kid and an ex wife, like hell I want to get involved with that.” You continued to protest but Wooyoung couldn't miss the flustered way you whined.

“It’s okay, we can all still have a good time here.” Yunho shrugged off the insinuations, smiling at you in the mirror and calling your name. “Right?”

“Right!” They thankfully dropped the subject for the night and to your surprise did make it a fun night for you.

They learned that you were quite the chaotic drunk as well, and quite the dancer, spending most of the time with a drink in your hand or dancing with one of the four. All just to forget the very domesticated routine you had with Seonghwa and your feelings for him.

This was fun, a part of your life you missed and opted out of after college as your friends had gotten married or focused so wholly on their careers you decided to do the latter as well. But working from home? That didn’t really give you a social life did it?

Besides, Wooyoung and his boyfriend were cute, his friends were easy going and had you feeling included: part of their group. They genuinely seemed to care, enough that even in your deliriously drunken state you vaguely remember Yunho carrying you to his car and having a conversation with Wooyoung about getting you home safely.

You weren’t aware of what had fully happened until the next morning, slipping out of bed with a bit of a headache (okay a big bit) and still in the dress from last night. At least your face was clean and shoes were off, but you had no recollection of getting home or to bed. It was the sound of muffled voices and your front door that had you stumbling out of your bedroom.

Finding Eunbyeol staring up at Yunho was perhaps the last thing you expected, but there she was, looking as confused as you felt. “Wha-?”

Eunbyeol cried out your name and rushed over to you, wrapping her small arms around your waist while Yunho watched with his brows pushed up. “The strange man said you weren’t here though…”

“Uh…” Gently patting Eunbyeol’s back, you tilted your head in confusion towards Yunho. “Can you… explain please? I don’t even remember getting home.”

Clearing his throat, Yunho headed for your kitchen. “Well, you didn’t want to. Said some interesting things as I carried you up here, some of it makes sense now.” The pained smile he turned towards Eunbyeol had you questioning just what you did say. “I hope you don’t mind that I stayed over, you were pretty wasted last night. As for the kid- well, I tried to tell her mother no but she was rather… insistent.”

So Soojin brought her over? And what, didn’t even listen to Yunho about your whereabouts? Just forced Eunbyeol onto him? Your blood boiled, glancing down at Eunbyeol only for your heart to lodge in your throat. “Oh honey- don’t cry.” Kneeling down, you brought your hands to her cheeks, quickly wiping away the tears that were falling freely from her face.

“I-I know it’s mean of me but I… I hate my mommy! She’s always yelling at Daddy and taking his money and making him so sad! I don’t like it when she hits him, Daddy tries to hide it from me but I’m not stupid. I’m eight now and I'm plenty smart! I don’t need Mommy but he says I do, that all kids need both their parents but I don’t want that kind of Mommy!” She threw her arms around your neck and sobbed into your shoulder. “She yelled at your friend too, so much, I didn’t want to cry in front of her-”

“H-hey Eunbyeol, it’s okay. It’ll be okay.” You pulled her against you, trying to comfort the child as best you could. She’s never cried in front of you before, not even when she would fall and scrape her knee she would fight off the tears and say she was a big girl. But here she was, so fed up with her own mother she couldn’t stop crying. She was so upset for her father, and ashamed of the way Yunho was treated.

The little girl was taking on far too much in the battle between her parents, and it wasn’t even a battle, Seonghwa was just trying to keep Eunbyeol as happy as he could. He was doing everything he thought he could for her and that was one of the reasons you had fallen for him- but it was also one of the reasons why you didn’t want to act on these feelings.

However, Eunbyeol had other ideas. “Why can’t you be my mommy? We’re happier with you.”

That was one way to have your heart absolutely crushed. “That’s not how things work sweetie.” This was not something you wanted Yunho to be witness to either. “Um Yunho, I’m going to take her to my room and calm her down for a second. Don’t go anywhere, I still want to know what happened.” Standing up you took the girl’s small hand in yours and brought her back to your room.

Once there, you freshened up and let her choose out your clothes as a way to comfort her. Her words had shaken you to your core but you did your best not to let it show. She was just a child, a very hurt and lost child and was seeking comfort in you; you didn’t want to take that from her by letting her see your own turmoil.

She calmed down rather quickly, quite emotionally mature for her age and that just hurt your heart even more. She shouldn’t have to go through this. Was Seonghwa even aware?

Of course he was, she was his world and he was constantly attuned to her.

When the two of you stepped out again, Yunho looked rather pale, glancing at the wall furthest from your room. You didn’t need a verbal explanation to know what he heard. “Yeah, I’m surprised I didn’t tell you about that.” You mumbled in his direction before setting up Youtube on your tv for the young girl and turning the volume up to drown out the sounds for her, “Yunho and I have to talk for a second in the other room, will you be okay out here sweetie?”

Only after Eunbyoel nodded did you lead Yunho to your room and shut the door with a heavy sign. “So um, sorry… that you got dragged into this first of all.”

“Did you get dragged into it?” He didn’t seem the least bit annoyed, instead features twisted with concern as he watched you. Damn, why couldn’t you have fallen for this guy?

You shrugged, sitting down on your bed and holding a hand to your temple, the whole situation just adding to the constant throbbing. “Yes and no? They certainly didn’t try and hide their dynamic and I didn’t want the kid to get into trouble. I just kept offering my time and company and it just… it escalated I guess?”

“Do you have any idea why he puts up with it? Like I just met the woman and kid- it’s clearly not a healthy situation.”

Once more you shrugged, watching as he sat down next to you. “I never asked, didn’t think it was my place to know. He never indulged either and Eunbyeol doesn’t like talking about her mother. She clams up if she is mentioned or when her dad has a fresh bruise.”

“She really hits him? And he still… fucks her? Holy shit, that doesn’t sit right with me.” Yunho was just as perplexed by the whole situation. “I’m sorry, this must be difficult for you to talk about as well.”

“It’s- yeah, just a bit. But what can I do? Don’t answer that actually. How about you enlighten me to what the hell happened last night.” Changing the subject you stared him down with as much menacing aura as you could muster.

The soft puppy smile told you it definitely didn’t work. “Well, Wooyoung and San caught an uber and I dropped Mingi off. Was going to just drop you off but I had to carry you upstairs here and you begged me to stay. Told me you didn’t want to hear it, and were crying. I couldn’t just leave you like that could I?”

Rolling your eyes you fought off the heat rising to your cheeks. “Wow, such a gentleman.”

The two of you shared a light laugh. “Mm, I would be if I didn’t have my own intentions. Was hoping to win a pretty damsel over, but you really are taken.”

“There isn’t anything between the two of us, I told you all that last night.” You protested, gently slapping his forearm.

Now he rolled his eyes. “But you want there to be. I saw the way you teared up when that little girl wanted you to be her mom. It honestly seems like you’re in too deep to back away.”

“Okay fine, then what am I supposed to do about the crazy abusive mother and ex-wife?” Deflating at your words, you got up and headed to your bathroom for some aspirin.

“You don’t do anything.” Yunho followed you. “That’s on him. If you are as important to him as you are to that little girl, then he either needs to step up and do something about her, or risk what he has with you.”

“I can’t ask him to make that choice.” Not only because you were scared of him choosing Soojin just because she was Eunbyeol’s mother, but also if he did choose you: It would feel like you manipulated him, even if you didn’t.

After you swallowed the pills, Yunho stepped closer. “You don’t have to ask him, just show him. I can show you, if you’ll trust me?”

Trust him? You had only met him last night… Yet here you were asking him for advice on your extremely complicated love life. Taking a moment to think it over, you nodded. “Fine, but this stays between me and you okay? Don’t tell Wooyoung about it. Love him to pieces but he will try and meddle.”

He chuckled, nodding in agreement. “Oh I know. I can thank him for a lot of meddlesome situations.”

The two of you shared another laugh before you led him out to the living room. He went over to Eunbyeol and asked to join her. She allowed it while you went about your usual task of getting her a snack. You couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the wall so you assumed Seonghwa would be stopping by soon enough. Would he be taking Eunbyeol right away? Or would he ask to stay and continue your usual routine? Would that even work with Yunho here?

You glanced over at the two on the couch, smiling softly as the tall man made himself small next to her, asking all sorts of questions about the characters on the tv, getting her animated and lively. He too was good with kids, and would make a good father.

Apparently that was your type: Good Dad. You just never dated an actual father before. You couldn’t decide if that thought was comforting or worrying, and you didn’t need to: the knock at the door drew your attention.

Of course Seonghwa was standing there, freshly showered and wearing a turtleneck that seemed awfully suspicious. You tried to force a smile, instead wincing at a sudden throb in your temple. “Eunbyeol is in her usual spot.”

“Thank you… I’m sorry Soojin bothered you with this again, I tried to tell her that you probably weren’t here today- oh…” He had taken a few steps in, only to freeze up at the sight of Yunho on the sofa, lifting his smile from Eunbyeol over to him. “You have… company.”

Yunho got up from the couch with a friendly smile. “Sorry we didn’t get properly introduced last night, I’m Jeung Yunho.” He made his way over as Eunbyeol watched from the couch, a mixture of emotions from fear to curiosity on her face. You could relate, worried about how this situation was going to go. When Yunho winked in your direction, that just doubled your growing anxiety.

“I’m uh, Park Seonghwa. I hope Eunbyeol didn’t give you any trouble?” He was wide eyed as he stared up at the taller man, but glanced at his daughter when mentioned.

Yunho shook his head. “Oh no, she was an absolute sweetheart, and she got so excited when she saw her too, so cute.” He chuckled, motioning towards you. “Really, I don’t want to pull them apart, so I probably should get going. Just wanted to stick around to see how my girl was doing anyway.” He hummed out, making his way over to you and wrapping his arm suddenly around your waist. “Get some rest, you had it a little too rough last night.” He lowered his voice so the young girl couldn’t hear before dipping his head and whispering in your ear. “Don’t fight me on this Damsel, and I’m apologizing in advance. I just want to be a little selfish with this.”

You had no idea what he would be apologizing for, not until his lips were on yours and he was turning you out of sight from Eunbyeol. Oh he could kiss, your knees weak from the combined hangover and feel of him. He pulled away quickly, leaving you stunned as he said bye to Eunbyeol, hoping to see her again, then he was gone.

The only sound for several moments as you fought your heated cheeks was the tv, both Seonghwa and Eunbyeol watching you with anxious expressions. When you locked eyes with Seonghwa, the kiss with Yunho was already forgotten: he looked devastated, even broken, and you wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

But why did you have to? Why would he be hurt by your kiss with Yunho? Maybe for the same reason you were hurt when you heard him fucking his ex-wife? The idea gave you too much hope.

Eunbyeol thankfully came in with the save, calling out for her father. “Should we go home? Miss needs her sleep right? Mister Yunho said she had a rough night, they were up really late.”

Or she didn’t help at all. Clearing his throat, Seonghwa nodded. “Uh yeah, we’ll get out of your hair. Come on sweetie.” They left almost as fast as Yunho did.

Was this the right play? Hurting him like that?

You would just have to see… the damage was already done.

Things were definitely tense between you two, but you were making no efforts to avoid him. He never asked for clarification on you and the tall man Yunho, but Yunho was definitely brought up: by Eunbyeol. She would ask when you picked her up from school, wondering if the tall man was going to be there. After the first no, she didn’t ask until the weekend, boldly asking if you were going to spend time with him again… this time in front of her father as they were heading out to the diner.

You shook your head, offering a smile. “Not until next weekend Sweetie.” You had already messaged Wooyoung for Yunho’s number, the two of you planning a so-called date. You only agreed because he offered to pay for food, and at a nice restaurant as well, while also stressing that you two were just going to talk game plan further.

It still shook you to your core to think he was so eager to help you out with your forlorn love when he had made it known he liked you. The kiss had been proof of that. Though you were still waiting for some proof that this would actually work, considering now Seonghwa didn’t want to be alone with you.

“Is he going to stay the night again?” Eunbyeol asked, ignoring her father who was trying to coax her down the apartment hall.

You shook your head again, bending down to her level. “No, we’re going out to eat, like a date.”

She frowned, looking down at your hands for a moment. “So you like him better than Daddy?”

Locking eyes with Seonghwa, you both seemed equally shocked by the statement. “Eunbyeol- that’s not a nice thing to ask.”

“The answer is no.” You got out, standing up and offering her a small smile. “We are going on a date to see how much we do like each other and see where it goes. If it works out, you’ll see him more.” You glanced up at Seonghwa. “Um, is it okay to have her around him? Or anyone I have over? I don’t mind, and I don’t think they would, but she is your daughter.”

Seonghwa gaped like a fish out of water for a moment before nodding and looking away. “That’s fine, she said he was really nice. And if you trust him… then I trust him with Eunbyeol. Now love, aren’t you hungry? We gotta get there soon if we want our usual booth.”

Apparently appeased with the conversation, Eunbyeol turned and rushed over to her father and took his awaiting hand. She waved goodbye before the two started talking about what to eat. You didn’t need to go with them to know exactly what they would order; and that, as usual, Seonghwa would have to wipe some sauce off the young girl’s face.

You knew she purposely made a mess to have him dote on her like that, as she was much more careful when eating with you: and told you her little secret. She did a lot to garner the attention from her father, things she knew would bring a smile to his face or make him laugh or call her cute.

Part of you knew you would do the same to be on the receiving end of his affection like that.

For the nth time that week, you really hoped whatever Yunho had planned would work. Otherwise, this was going to backfire immensely.

Your anxiety was spiking about that as throughout the week, Seonghwa wouldn’t look at you. Whenever you opened the door when he came to grab Eunbyeol- and you weren’t disturbed Friday or Saturday, didn’t hear a peep from him. So when Yunho came to pick you up, you spent the entire time ranting to him about how stupid he was and that this totally wasn’t working; all while he helped you pick out an outfit and get ready for your makeshift date.

He made it up with the food, leaving you to question if he was doing this entirely to try and win you over.

“Oh no, I’m not going to be a dick like that. I wouldn’t be opposed to trying this out for real, but you love someone else and while you continue to love that person, it would be unfair of us both to try and make this work.” He had told you while paying for the meal: which he insisted on doing himself and wouldn’t let you see.

He had purposely dragged the dinner out late, nearly three hours as you arrived back shortly after ten. Because it was late, he insisted on walking you to your door, chuckling as you grumbled even more that you didn’t think the food was going to cover the emotional turmoil of your stomach until this was resolved. Only for him to stop you at the end of the hall, a smirk on his lips. “See?”

“See what? Yunho- oh.”

“Told you it would work little Damsel. If this works out, you pay for dinner next time.” He whispered by your ear before turning back to the stairs. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

He was gone seconds later, leaving you to stare down the hall at the lump that was Seonghwa sitting at your door. Your hands felt like shaking as you exhaled slowly, preparing yourself as much as you could. If he was sitting there, this couldn’t be good. At all.

Yunho was so sure this was going to work out, and your own hope was getting the better of you. Why you trusted Yunho when he was practically a stranger was beyond you but it was too late to question that. One more deep inhale and you headed down the hall, heels clicking on the floor.

You cleared your throat to try and get the lump’s attention. “Seonghwa? Is everything alright?” You asked when he didn’t lift his head at first.

When he did, the bottle of soju in his hand told you plenty of the situation. Softening, and feeling quite guilty, you knelt down next to him, tucking your dress under you. “Seonghwa, how much did you drink?”

He lifted the bottle, one of the larger ones, to show it was half empty. “Just this. I don’t remember being a light weight though.” His speech had only the slightest slur to it, yet you couldn’t tell if that was from the alcohol or the tears in his eyes. “Just needed a little courage, that’s all.”

You frowned, pulling the bottle out of his hands. “For what?”

He stared up at you, eyes glistening with tears and emotions as he searched your face for something. “To make it through the night alone.” He whispered it so softly, his voice shaking and hitting your heart with a big impact.

Fuck, this whole thing had been a bad idea. He looked wounded, and you felt like it was your fault. “Come on, I’ll keep you company for a bit then?”

“What about your date?” He asked, letting you haul him onto his feet just to tower over you even hunched as he was. “Did he-?”

“He went home, the date was a bust anyways.” Taking your keys out you helped him stumble into your apartment a bit, taking the soju away from him as he kicked his shoes off with better motor movement than you expected.

“I’m sorry, he seemed nice.”

“He is, and it’s not like we don’t plan to try again eventually… Just want to be friends first.” You called back, giving some honesty to the situation should this really not work out- had to keep your options open, even if that was years down the line.

If Seonghwa didn’t give closure in one form or another, you had a feeling you might be stuck catering to him and his daughter for years to come just as you were. You couldn’t just leave them like this, not after Eunbyeol’s confession and now this?

It of course worried you that might be the way things turned out, weighing on your mind as you made your way to the kitchen to get him some water. In which you nearly dropped the glass when you felt arms around your waist and a firm chest pressed against your back. “Wha-”

“Don’t try.” He buried his face against your shoulder, squeezing tightly. “Don’t… don’t leave me, please.”

The glass clattered into the sink, splashing water around but thankfully not breaking. Your mind though, definitely short circuiting. Seconds turned into a minute as you stayed frozen, and when he finally realized you weren’t answering, he murmured your name like a plea. Then again, and when you still didn’t respond, again but filled with such desperation it had you moving.

Letting out the breath you were holding you turned off the water, turning your head just a bit to get a better look at him. “Seonghwa, if I date someone that doesn’t mean I’m leaving you.” You tried to comfort him, trying not to admit your feelings for him when you were still lacking context for his own.

He turned you in his arms, pressing his forehead against yours as he locked eyes. “I need you.”

Breath catching in your throat, you could only meet his gaze, floundering for any thought that made sense of what he said. Your mind barely caught up when you noticed his eyes flicker down to your lips, his hand cupping just under your jaw before he was taking away your breath quite literally.

The kiss pushed any doubts you had away, bringing forth a whole slew of emotions you tried to keep buried, and you kissed back without hesitation. The groan that rumbled deep in his throat as he pulled your body closer just had you giving into him even more.

Park Seonghwa, the single father next door that had won your heart so easily, was kissing you with such a fiery passion you wouldn’t mind if it burned you alive. In fact, you were welcoming it as all reason seemed to leave you the longer your lips stayed locked.

You couldn't mistake his intentions now, even if you wanted to hear it. That meant pulling away, and you were afraid if you did that this moment would be shattered. So instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers threading in his soft hair as you pressed closer.

Seonghwa sighed against your lips as he began pushing your skirt up, breathing out your name. The taste had been easy to ignore but the smell of soju wasn't. Unsure just how intoxicated he was, you tugged at his hair to pull him away, turning your head just for his lips to trail across your jaw.

“-Hwa… hold on.” Stumbling out part of his name, you attempted to push away again.

This time he listened, beady lust filled eyes meeting yours as he hummed softly. “Hwa? Call me that more Angel.” He kept his hands just under your skirt, thumbs running over your flesh and making no indication he was going to give you more space.

Inhaling deeply, you brought your hands to his chest as heat ran up your neck at the nickname. “B-before we do anything more I need you to have some water and relax first. I want… I don't want any doubts that this is a completely conscious decision.” You wanted to be sure he could fully consent and yes… talk.

Understanding flashed across his face as he dropped his hands and stepped back. You couldn't help but notice the overwhelming awe in his eyes, which wasn't helping your own flustered state. “Alright, we'll do this your way.”

Something about the way he said it irked you, but for now you shrugged it off and turned back to the sink to attempt a class of water. “I have some Advil in my bathroom cabinet, go grab some alright? Then we'll sit and discuss what this is.”

“Discuss? Angel… it's whatever you want it to be.” Seonghwa hesitated behind you, and now you realized why his previous statement irked you: he was approaching this as if he didn't have much of a say. Was that how he expected relationships to go? Well, probably, if his only one was Soojin and it might explain why he continued to let her walk all over him to this extent.

“No, it doesn't work like that Hwa.” You turned and handed him the water, then gently pushed him towards the sofa. “Sit, I'll get the Advil, and then we are going to have a very serious discussion about what we both want and how we both want to move forward.”

He nodded slowly, clearly a bit flustered as he ducked his head and mumbled about how sweet you were being. Your heart stung for him a bit if he thought basic human respect was being sweet.

You didn't say anything about it, heading for your bathroom and taking your time to calm down. Trying not to overthink, because what good would that do right now, you focused on taking care of him first.

Returning with Advil, you set it down in front of him before sitting on the sofa next to him, looking him over as he had his head in his hands. “Hwa… here.” He looked up when you nudged him, first at you then the pills. You didn’t say anything as he took them, encouraging him to drink most of the water before you sat back with a little more distance.

You weren’t entirely sure where to start, or how to go about this, but whatever was blossoming between you couldn’t do so properly until the two of you talked. He had a child, one you adored, and an ex that he was still technically fucking, and both left a lot to address. The longer you sat there trying to piece it together, the more anxious he seemed to become, finishing off the water and staring at your hands that fidgeted on your lap.

“Angel… do you not want-”

“I do want you Hwa, don’t even doubt that. But I just, your relationship with Eunbyeol’s mother makes things very complicated. I know what you do with her on Sundays, when Eunbyeol comes over. I heard you both.” The words fell from your lips like a weight off your chest… but right onto his.

His eyes went round, cheeks pale as it dawned on him just what you meant. “You heard- fuck I’m sorry, I don’t feel that way about her I just-”

“Does she blackmail you into it?”

“What? Why would you think..”

“I can tell you’re scared of her Seonghwa, so I can’t imagine you willing to do that with her every Sunday when she brings Eunbyeol back. So why else?” No matter how much you mulled it over, you couldn’t imagine Seonghwa having those feelings towards Soojin; and after what you had heard, it just made sense to think she was using Eunbyeol against him.

When he averted his guilt ridden eyes, you were sure you were right. “She… she threatens to file for full custody. Says that she would win. I don’t want to take that chance. And I want her to have a mother.”

You could understand that, knowing he would do anything for Eunbyeol, however that left little room for you. “And what about you? Eunbyeol needs her father too, and she is aware of what Soojin does to you. She’s eight Seonghwa, she knows that those bruises aren’t right. What are you going to do if she realizes you put up with it for her?”

His shoulders slumped, tears forming in his eyes. “I know that… fuck I know that but what else am I supposed to do? I just pushed through it, didn’t think about it, not until you came along.” He inhaled shakingly, staring at your hand as you took his hands into yours. “To be honest, I never thought about marrying her, we were young and stupid and when she showed me the pregnancy test, I just thought of the baby.”

Of course he did it for Eunbyeol, which just had your dislike growing for Soojin and hurting even more for Seonghwa. You didn’t butt in though, letting him say what he needed to.

“We got married quickly, and I was so excited for the baby. I took her to all the appointments, took up a side job while balancing university, had her stay home with my parents and just rest for the pregnancy. They were happy for me but also concerned… I ignored their concerns, I took her side more and more through the pregnancy. And then… he was born.”

“He?” You gently prompted when he trailed off, seemingly more depressed by the second. Which, to be fair, you didn’t like where he was going with this.

“He was premature and there were some complications. I didn’t… I didn’t even get to hold him while he was breathing.” When his body started to shake with sobs you pulled him into your arms, resting his head on your shoulder. “I just threw myself into schooling and work after that, going through the motions. Things got worse at home, my parents constantly argued with her, to the point they got us a house just to have her out of theirs. She didn’t work, didn’t go to school, and just kept spending the free money I had. I got… tired of it, I was ready to leave, and I think she knew that. Things got better for a bit, and then Eunbyeol was announced.

“I don’t think I loved her, but I loved Eunbyeol from the moment I saw her. She’s everything to me, being a father is everything I could wish for. I’ll do anything for her.” He let out a shaky breath, pressing himself closer to you.

This just confirmed your suspicions, especially knowing all you did about Soojin. You could confidently say you hated her. It sounded like she baby-trapped him not once, but twice.

“Why did you end up leaving then?” You hesitantly asked, wondering what had been the breaking point.

“Caught her cheating. When I blew up about it, she told me she had always done this. How would I know if Eunbyeol was mine? According to her, our firstborn wasn’t; the baby I married her for. I got a dna test and confirmed Eunbyeol is mine, and then I filed for divorce. My parents happily paid, but I haven’t had much contact with them since we moved out. They only saw Eunbyeol on holidays, and I’ve been too afraid to bring Eunbyeol around them more. They don’t say nice things about Soojin and I didn’t want Eunbyeol to hate her mother.”

“Hwa… she doesn’t need to hear bad things about her mother, she can see it.” Taking a deep breath you cupped his jaw and lifted his head to meet his gaze. “You know that day I first offered cookies? She came over not for anything like that, but her exact words were: Can you help Daddy?”

The emotion that washed over his face tugged at your heart, thumbs wiping away the tears that sprung forth. “She said that?”

“Mhmm. She loves you Hwa, and she wants to take care of you just as much as you want to take care of her. And that means you have to do something about Soojin.”

“But-” You cut him off, thumb against his lips.

“I’m not going to pursue anything with you Seonghwa if she’s in the picture to that extent. It’s not fair to me if I have to listen to the man I care about screwing his ex every other Sunday and then coming over to play pretend family with me and his daughter. And it’s not fair to Eunbyeol to pursue anything with me if her mother is still actively sleeping with you and taking advantage of you.” You pointed out, trying to keep your voice calm though it felt like you were giving him an ultimatum, yet it was a boundary you were putting into place for your own mental and emotional health.

You would not continue this if he kept things the same with Soojin, no matter how much it hurts.

He understood, shifting so his hands were flat on the sofa next to you as he moved closer, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “I can do that, I promise. I want… Angel, I don't want to lose you. As selfish as it is, I don’t want Eunbyeol to lose you either.”

“It’s not selfish… you’re both important to me. I hope you know that.” You turned your head to press your lips to his. “And I want to stay with you both.”

Another kiss as he nodded, moving closer to you. “So you won’t leave? Won’t do anything with that other guy?”

As he pressed closer, you lifted your arms around his shoulders, kissing him back as you nodded. “I just want you Hwa.”

Like a switch he was pressing against you with such an intense need his lips took your breath away. You returned his fervent kisses, leaned into his touches and got lost in him. You couldn’t deny his feelings with these actions, nor did you want to. His hands on your skin as he pushed your dress up around your waist, then on your thighs as he wrapped your legs around his hips.

Now lying beneath him your skin felt like it was on fire with need, while he touched you with an intensity that matched that need. Kiss after kiss, touch after touch, minute after minute. “You taste so sweet, can I have more?” He murmured against your swollen lips when he finally pulled away enough to let you breathe.

Not that you could, chasing his lips for more of him with no regards for your lungs, so you nodded as an answer. A whine left you as he put more distance between you, just to shriek as he yanked your underwear off and jostled you in the process. “Hwa?”

“Just want a taste.” His head between your legs in seconds was not what you had expected from his words, but any protest died with the fat stripe of his tongue over your cunt.

Pushing yourself up on your elbows and looking down, further protest and breath died on your lips when eye contact was made. The heat in his gaze completely transformed his features and twisted your stomach with arousal. You hadn’t even been aware he could make such a face, let alone at you.

You couldn’t look away, not even as his lips latched onto your clit, or when his unbelievably long tongue pushed inside. You watched his eyes roll back, felt the moan in the deepest parts of you and listened to the sounds of your slick against his face as he continued to devour you.

Tugging your legs around his head you could no longer watch him; not only did the angle not permit it, but it just felt so good. He definitely knew how to use his tongue, pulling moans out of you that just seemed to encourage him more and more. He wasn’t without his own sounds, and not just the slurping and slick of you on his lips, but deep moans that had your brain short-circuiting further.

There wasn’t a single thought in your mind when your climax hit, soaking his mouth. He pressed impossibly close for every drop, his nose rubbing against your overstimulated clit and driving the high longer until it was almost painful. “H-Hwa! W-Wait!” Tugging on his hair you pulled him off, attempting to catch your breath. He wore a fucked out expression, your slick on his nose and chin while his tongue flicked around to lick up every drop. Oh it was long and pointed and you could vividly remember how it felt in your cunt, causing you to clench around nothing in its absence.

He was panting just as heavily as you were, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs. “Can I go again?”

“W-What? No Hwa-” You paused, biting your lip at his dejected expression, “I want to make you feel good too.”

His shock was evident, only furthering your desire to please him. You could only imagine the number of times his pleasure had even been considered over the years, which was something you wanted to change drastically. Taking advantage of his shock you freed yourself and climbed onto your knees on the floor, situating him as well.

“Wait, Angel, your knees will hurt-” He grabbed your wrists to stop you.

“You’re worried about my knees?” Of course he was. “Give me a pillow then, I’ll be fine. And no more protests.”

He hesitated for just a moment before handing you a pillow with a shy expression. The duality of this man was going to give you whiplash considering how moments ago he had your legs shaking while he licked your cum off his face without an ounce of shame. He didn’t relax as you adjusted the pillow beneath you, in fact he tensed up once you diverted all your attention to his pants.

The shame on his features deepened as you pulled his pants down, freeing his cock that had been bulging the fabric out for some time. “I know it’s small but I promise to make you feel good anyway I can.”

“Small?” You shrieked out, glancing up at him with wide eyes. “Oh my God Hwa, did she tell you it was small? Did she really make you focus on her pleasure alone?”

The apples of his cheeks darkened considerably, his soft eyes averted from yours. “Was she wrong?”

“Fuck yes. It’s going to be a challenge to fit you.” All your attention was on his dick standing proud and free inches from your face. Definitely above average, thankfully not a monster cock you would worry about hurting you, but there was a chance he was going to ruin you for anyone else. “Your pleasure matters too, and to me.”

He was clearly flustered by your words, but made no further protest. What he did do was nod shyly, clearly flustered, and gripped the couch at his sides. Wrapping a hand around his base, you placed soft kisses to his tip, looking up at him to soak in his expression. His brows furrowed up in concentration, staring down at you with a soft part of his lips.

You just knew he was going to look so beautiful when he came undone by your lips.

You kept your eyes on him as much as you could, taking in every subtle change of his expression and breathing as you lowered your mouth, stroking what you couldn’t fit. Your cunt dripped at the thought of him inside you, hitting all the right places as easily as he hit the back of your throat.

The whiney moan he let out of your name just added to the growing mess between your legs. His reactions just fueled you to ignore the stretch of your throat and the burn behind your eyes, bopping your head a bit faster and pressing your tongue up against the sensitive flesh. He writhed beneath you, heavy pants mingling with soft whines as he was torn between rolling his eyes back and watching you with such a beautiful expression of contorted pleasure.

“Angel please-” His voice was raw, rolling into a deep groan as his head fell back again as you pushed down further, gagging around the majority of his cock in your mouth and squeezing the base. You could taste him, could tell how close he was to exploding his load down your throat and you were debating just where you wanted it when he decided for you.

His hands slipped into your hair and he pulled you away, cock throbbing but he didn’t cum yet. You whined, just to be pulled up onto his lap and his lips crashing onto yours again. You mumbled some protests, but he swallowed them all up in his frenzy. Each kiss was as heated as the last as he worked off your dress. “Hwa please-”

“Don’t want to cum in your pretty mouth. Not right now. Need you too much.” He whispered against your lips as he tossed the dress aside. You held onto his shoulders as he jostled you closer, his pants being kicked off the next second. Any questions you had were answered when he had you pulled down around his cock, stretching you out. You cried out, looking down between you two to watch him push the rest of the way in. “Fuck Angel- Feel so fucking good.”

You marveled at how deep you felt him, as well as how full, shifting a bit just for you to both tense up. Oh he was hitting all the right places, and he was loving how you felt if his heavy pants were any indication. His grip on your hips were tight, the two of you taking a moment to adjust, just marveling at the other.

He switched it up just as quickly as if catching a second wind, flipping you onto the couch and pushing your leg up and onto his shoulder, kissing you again as he dragged his cock out, hitting all the right spots to have you almost instant putty in his hands.

“Fuck you look so beautiful like this Angel- feel so good too.” He moved his lips to your neck as he thrust his full length back in, dragging out and doing so again until he had a steady rhythm. “Didn’t know it could feel so good- ah- please keep making those sounds.”

You hadn’t even been aware of the whiny moans leaving your lips with each thrust, so lost in how it felt and his own little sounds that nothing else had registered. You were well away now, back arching as a thumb of his began to rub at your clit, his lips against your calf as he had leaned up enough just to watch you.

It hit you that he was still focusing on your pleasure, from his thumb on your clit to the way he shifted to make sure each thrust hit your sweet spot. It almost upset you, if not for the little mumbles he made accompanied by a light blush on his cheeks. “Feels so good, could watch you like this for hours. Angel- my sweet Angel.”

Even as he brought you to a climax, his strokes slowed to a lazy but deep pace to keep you at your high longer but without overwhelming you, even as you made a mess on both of you and the couch.

He practically halted to let you catch your breath, in which you whined and protested, cupping his face in your hands and staring him down. “H-Hwa please… fuck me like you want too. I’ll enjoy it. Promise.”

He seemed hesitant, brows pushed together as if he didn’t understand what you were saying. “Angel-” You cut him off by rolling your hips up, whatever he was going to say devolving into a groan. “O-Okay.”

The force he was suddenly thrusting into you stole your breath away, brows scrunched up in pure ecstasy as you cried out for him. He arched forward, bringing his head to your chest and you immediately latched on. Oh he was making such sweet sounds, almost shy, his balls slapping against your ass with each harsh and quick thrust while he held onto you where he could.

Your nails dug into his back as you held on, crying from the intense pleasure and loving every second of it. You had been right, he was ruining other cocks for you, nothing could compared to how well he was fucking you right now. No toy or previous partner. And no porn could compare to the porngraphic whines he mumbled against your chest either.

Even without his thumb on your clit he quickly had your legs tightening around him in a climax, back arching again as you cried out for him, head spinning from the force of your orgasm. It was clear he wasn’t used to fucking for his enjoyment, as soon as you came around him you could hear him cry out, the sound mixing with your own as his cum was pushed into you with each stuttering thrust until you both were left trembling in each’s others arms with the aftershocks of pleasure coursing through you.

Pure fucked out bliss the two of you were, taking several moments to catch your breath and come down from the high. He scattered like kisses along your chest and collarbone, up your neck and to your lips. “Can I stay the night?”

“Yes… I’d like that Hwa.”

He spent quite a bit of time cleaning you up and taking care of you after that, not letting you do anything but answer his questions about clothes. You told him it was fine to sleep naked, and the two of you ended up laying in your bed naked and clean just staring at each other with soft smiles.

You were the first asleep, curled against him.

You awoke to banging on the door, several muffled shouts and a warm body against you. You couldn’t possibly fathom who it was until Seonghwa sleepily muttered “Eunbyeol-” and rushed out of bed. He scrambled for his clothes while you sat up, listening more intently once the bedroom was open.

It was Soojin yelling for someone to open up.

In a panic yourself, you got out of bed and grabbed your house robe while Seonghwa was rushing around looking for his shirt. You made it to the door before him, calling out for her to stop banging before you swung the door open. Soojin’s familiar face on the other side was twisted with obvious displeasure.

“The good-for-nothing isn’t opening his door. Is he here?” She instantly spat, pushing past you without a care just to scoff a few feet in at the sight of Seonghwa awkwardly pushing the shirt on. “Well I wish I could say I’m surprised but not really. Come on, I spent far too much time trying to find you.” She turned as if to leave, sneering at your neck which you assumed had hickies from last night. “You don’t mind watching the Princess for a bit right? Couple hours?”

Your eyes shot wide open, unable to believe the audacity of the woman. It was clear that you and Seonghwa had slept together and yet she was asking you to babysit so that she could get fucked by him? Anger surged through you, scoffing and narrowing your eyes ready to go off.

“We aren’t doing that any more Soojin.” Seonghwa blurted out, smiling at Eunbyeol who was awkwardly standing in the doorway behind you. “Hey Princess, can you go sit in the next room for a minute? Put on our usual cartoons?”

The girl nodded, moving to rush past her mother who snatched her arm and yanked her back roughly. Both you and Seonghwa acted quickly, but as you were closer, you yanked Soojin’s arm off her and turned her to face you quickly. “You will not lay a hand on her like that.” You hissed out, holding her still while Eunbyeol ran to her father. You knew it was the first time Eunbyeol had been grabbed so roughly by her mother, but if how she treated Seonghwa was any indication, it was only going to get worse from there.

“How dare you! I’m her mother! A fucking skank like you has no right to tell me what to do with my child!” Soojin ripped her hand out of your grip, swinging back to slap you but it never came. Seonghwa grabbed her arm from behind, holding her up and perhaps standing to his full height in her presence for once. “Seonghwa?!”

“Don’t talk to her like that, she’s a far better mother to Eunbyeol than you have ever been! You’re going to leave, with no benefits or money or anything. And don’t even threaten to try and take Eunbyeol from me, as I will already be seeing you in court to not only fight for full custody but a restraining order. Do you understand me Soojin?”

You could tell she was scared of him, nodding quickly and whimpering. You couldn’t believe you saw Seonghwa taking action with your own eyes, expecting it to take more effort, to be a longer battle.

Surprisingly Soojin left, slamming the door behind her and leaving the three of you frozen from the tension.

Eunbyeol broke first, bursting out in tears as she ran to her father. “Daddy! I was so scared!” She cried as he swooped her up out of habit, latching onto him like a koala.

“I’m sorry Princess, I know I was mean to Mommy-”

‘No! Mommy was mean! She’s always mean! She leaves me all alone when I’m at her house, brings over strange men that look at me funny and I just- I hate Mommy! I want her to be my Mommy-” She pointed in your direction, angrily wiping away her tears. “Please don’t make me go back to her. I want to stay with you two, always. Please Daddy.”

He ended up having a very long discussion with Eunbyeol, one you made hot chocolate for the three of you for and joined in because otherwise Seonghwa looked like he was going to faint. Eunbyeol had been strong, keeping a lot of her mother’s actions a secret but she spilled them all. Each one had Seonghwa gripping your hand tighter, his knuckles white and not an ounce of color in his face as she spoke. He managed to keep his expression just one of concern, the horrors Eunbyeol said not reflected even in his eyes. But you knew, you felt your own parental horror over the things she said.

So started what would be a long trial, not only for custody, but criminal charges against Soojin and a few of her boyfriends that had exposed Eunbyeol to questionable things started. He had a damned good lawyer, his parents got involved… and you were by his side at every hearing, every lawyer meeting.

You had friends that questioned why you were going through so much for a guy and his kid? After all, kids weren’t your thing, Dad’s definitely weren’t either… But Seonghwa and Eunbyeol were family. Simple as that.

Taglist (Form): @candypop1611 | @vannabanana1995 | @piratequeen-queenofgames | @starstruckforyou

| @therealcuppicake | @lavishloving | @pearltinyy | @vampiregirl215

Can't tag (Only one warning before I remove you from the taglist!)

#pirateteez #dilf seonghwa #seonghwa fanfic #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #seonghwa ateez #seongwha #seonghwa angst #older seonghwa

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lifeafterpsychiatry · 9 months ago

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Why do you think women pressure other women into having kids so much?

Never in my life a man who barely knew me told me OOOOH YOU GONNA REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS, YOU WILL DIE ALONE, YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE KIDS YET (i'm 27)

And I'm like wtf.

So I work in a store and I had to "teach" how to work my station. We are a huge super market in in our super market people only have training here for 3 weeks before they get sent to their stores where they will work.

So I have older women and younger women who I "train" (and my coworkers too, basically anyone who is around "trains them by showing stuff and such since most of people who train here never worked in a grocery store)

This year since January probably over 30 people was "training" here. Most of them were women and I am not kidding at least 20 of them start asking about private things like DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY right away.

I would love to just say IT'S PERSONAL WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS WE MET LIKE 30 MINUTES AGO FOR THE FIRST TIME. But I don't want to be a bitch and I answer with short answers "no". I would love to say OFC I HAVE A FAMILY I AM NOT AN ORPHAN. I HAVE MOM, DAD AND MY BROTHER. but that would be bitchy too. But I would love to say it lol.

The next question is WHY? WHY NOT? and YOU STILL HAVE TIME I HAD MY 2ND ONE WHEN I WAS 33. Etc.

And then they talk to me how great kids are which like ok you can talk how much you like kids I don't mind but this woman was literally AND YOU STILL DON'T WANT THEM AND THEY ARE SO GREAT.

Not every woman is that annoying like this one but all give me the same questions as I mentioned "why? Why not? You still have time?"

I don't think this is a normal question but it's very normalized question women about kids and family after a few minutes or after a few hours of meeting for the first time.

Do they ever think that some women can't get pregnant or they had a miscarriages and it's a touchy subject for them? What if their bf, husband can't have kids? You won't go around telling that to everyone. They just interrogate other women like they are a police officer.

Not to mention one of the women (she was training here in February) gave me the biggest death stare when she was asking me when I'm planning to have kids and because I was so annoyed I raised my voice and said NEVER the only kids I'm planning on having ARE ANIMAL KIDS, BABY CATS, BABY DOGS! after that she was just giving me death stares.

Women my age in mid 20's are the same and they have been telling me I will change my mind since I was 14.

Like imagine me go preaching around like them ADOPT YOUR KIDS ABORT YOUR KIDS (which i would NEVER DO) but imagine us who don't want kids would do that we would look insane yet those who do have kids are seen as normal when they ask about such things.

Sorry for a longer rant but i'm just so pissed off and women that i work with (my own coworkers) don't find such women annoying and they think i overreact when i think that such behavior is annoying.

People have been telling me I look 19-20 and it's even weirder that they ask me such stuff before they even ask my age. One woman said (she was in her late 30's) OH I THOUGHT YOU HAVE MORE TIME (when i told her my age because she thought i was 19) YOU WILL HAVE TO HURRY UP... like who says this???

I hate when people act like there's One Right Way To Live, and that everyone who isn't pursuing the same life as them must be in the wrong and needs to change their path. There's nothing wrong with wanting a family, but there are so many other dreams to pursue which can be equally important and valid. What makes person A happy isn't necessarily the right path for person B

#chat with kat #pregnancy tw #caps tw #abortion tw

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s0lar-ch3ri · 9 months ago

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Paranomally Hotline #1: Introduction

Many people have their own beliefs. They follow in their own superstitions, read about all kinds of monsters, and we hear about new creations of creatures and places daily. Inspired from already set up and built legends, or entirely original myth, you may have made some ideas yourself. At the very least, you've heard of one. However, to the average person, a myth is all they remain.

Sometimes though, the average person isn't so lucky, and stumble apon a truth: these "tall tales" are fact, not fiction, and could come for you at anytime. With the knowledge that these creatures exist, surviving them can be difficult when nobody you turn to has an idea of what you're facing.

Not, unless, you're calling the Paranomally Hotline.

Specialized in dealing with all entities and creatures of out this world, the Paranomally Hotline believes those who call and will help guide you to safety. Available whenever you need (some places may have more or less then 24 hours available), someone skilled and trained for your kind of situation is there to talk to.

If you don't know who to call, ring the numbers-

"God damn, they play whatever on these fuckin things." A man, appearing about mid 30s, turns the TV off. He gets ready for work, brushing his teeth and getting food to eat. He waves goodbye to his wife, a woman with black hair, and walks into the busy sidewalks. Walking among the people, bag on his side, he keeps going until he reaches a corner.

The scene has changed. As he turns this corner, he runs, panicked, running out of breath. He can't run forever, and hiding feels like a death trap. A creature roars out behind him, and all he wants is to go home, back before this happened.

"Someone please come save me, Lord I beg of you now, spare my soul of this fate just a bit longer," he mutters to himself as he slips into an alleyway. Through his panicked thoughts, something slips into his mind, a crystal clear one: a phone number. As he turns on his phone, which he wasn't even aware still had battery, already has a number put in. Not in a state to question it, he hurriedly rings it.

"Hello, you've reached the Paranominally Hotline, here to help with all entities and paranormals, what's got your ghost?"

"Y-you gotta help me! Th-there's a- a thing! And it's chasing me! And- and- I just want to go home, see my wife again!"

"That's what we're going to do. Now, to help figure out how I can assist you, I'll need you to answer a couple questions. First, do you believe you are still in our world, or does it seem home to somewhere else?"

"Wha-what are y- Yeah, no, it- it's all red- the sky- and it's bleeding- oh my god I didn't notice, it's fucking bleeding- I gotta get out of here-"

"Alright, let's keep a level head sir. When did you get here, and if you remember, how?"

He jumped, hearing a loud roar from this creature. "T-today, maybe 3-30 minutes, 25, gi-give or take. I went into the closet at my job and- look, can we hurry this up? There's s-something ch-ch-chasing me, and I think it's going to k-kill me."

"Alright. This is a very necessary procress, but I have an idea on how to help. Can you make it back to where this closet was?"

"Th-that's the way the monster i- you're trying to fucking kill me!"

"Sir, please. I'm trying to get you home. If you can make it over, and I'm thinking of the right thing, grab the string of the lamp above and pull it to turn off the light."

"No- why should I fucking trust yo-"

Another roar plays out. It's closer.

"...Are-"

"If I’m fucking killed, call my wife and tell her I love her."

"Of course."

The man breaks into a sprint and heads out. His legs are aching, but he has to make it, he has to. Looking straight ahead, he goes straight past the beast, about 30 feet tall and blurry as it roars again, following behind. The man begins to silently sob as he sees the building he exited from up ahead. Running inside, he closes the door of the strange building and locks it as best as he can. He runs down a hallway, where a brown closet door awaits him. It's a dingy closet, brown shelves and a blue school chair. Nothing more or less. He slams the door shut as he hears breakage outside and the loud stomps of feet. Muttering a prayer, he grabs the string of the closet's lightbulb and yanks it down as hard as he can.

Everything goes black, but he finds himself on the floor of the closet. It's a storage one, filled with boxes and shelf racks, the same one he walked into, although one of the shelves has been knocked over just inches from where he once laid unconscious. As he questions what just happened, the reality of what he just faced, he hears his phone hang up, the caller name showing.

The Paranominally Hotline.

#Paranormal Callings (And How We Got You Out)#the bright smoothie of words #WE GOT THE FIRST ONE WRITTEN BABBYYYYYYY #gonna draw it like comic style as i plan out chapter 2 :3

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bloomingpresent · 2 years ago

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Ferro Rosso Chapter VI

Pairing: Charles Leclerc/Female reader digital artist older woman

Summary: on your mids 30’s you never imagine you’d be divorce. To help with the healing process you decide to return to you first love: digital illustration. Posting videos of your art online leads you to work for Ferrari. But you never thought it’d lead you to find somebody that’s going to bring you back to trust again in love.

Warnings: none, this one it's pretty much fluff. Some swearing.

Disclaimer: Again, this one it's fluff but these two did get something out of their chest that they wanted to get out. And I’m pretty happy with how their conversation went.So after this one, things are getting spicier. So bear with this fluff chapter one more time, please. I promise spicy stuff is coming. It's a short one.

All the previous chapters are here

“You think you can play me like this .. like I don’t understand anything? You think just because you’re older I won’t feel like you’re using me and I’m some stupid kid? You think you can take me for a joke?”. Charles's words ramble out of him. He’s been keeping all inside.

You walk back inside the room pulling him with you, you can’t have this conversation out in the hallway.“Using you? For what? I got where I am because of me! Be very careful Charles” you warn him.

“You know what? You’re right! You don’t need me because you’re older, wiser, and more experienced. You just wanted the fun times with the cute boy with no strings attached.” Charles says, even if that’s not what he really thinks, frustration had taken a toll on him.

Now you’re not sad or frustrated anymore. You’re mad. “We both enter this physical relationship knowing what we were getting into it. You're not a boy you're an adult as same as I am. So don't give me that crap ok?”.

Charles crossed his arms on his chest. “I thought it would be just that. A physical relationship. We’d meet, we’d have fun, and go back to our lives. And it’s funny because I’m usually the one who doesn’t get attached…”

You cut him “When I tried to contact you you ran away from me, ignore me!”

“It wasn’t like that! I got scared. I was too out of control. So I just stopped talking to you, to everyone” he says lowering the tone.

“Very mature of you Charles” you say in a mocking tone.

“You can make fun of me if you want to, but this is me being honest!" He points at you near your face "I am out of control! You seem to be so much ‘older and wiser’ and I’m just this young dumb kid…” he says mocking you now.

“I didn't say that. I felt so stupid wanting to contact you, wanting to know how you were, feeling sorry for the horrible races and you just ignored me. Can you understand that?!” now you were getting things off your chest.

“ Can YOU get it? Or you’re pretending? or maybe I’m some kid you can use and throw away like a piece of trash? That fucks all the women he can without even caring” Charles feels like his head is going to explode. Blood pumping into his system like crazy.

Both of you are so into your own battles.

“Oh god! you are not getting me. I come from a divorce, a bad one, you are the famous f1 driver, rich and famous and you can have any girl you want. You came to me we had fun and we agreed that it'll be just that. And then when I try to contact you and you show up with your girlfriend showing her off. How did you expect me to feel?” There it is, this is what’s been bothering you really.

“Oh, so this about my fame and my money now? You think I’m taking all the advantage, is it? You think I’m just playing around like a kid because I can have any woman I want? You seriously think I don’t have any feelings? Just because I’m an f1 driver?, you think I don’t get hurt? Don’t suffer?”. The pressure it’s real for Charles, and he is slowly losing his mind, and you’re not helping either with all of this.

“Well, that's what you are showing me lately.” you just reply and wait for his answer.

“Damn it y/n! You have no idea what I’ve been through in my career! All my pain, all my tears and all the hard work I’ve put in to make me one of the best drivers on track. You have no idea how much I’ve suffered and you think you get to judge me? You think you can tell me how I should act, when you have never been in my place? You have no idea the pressure, the stress I have to go through… and yet you think you can judge me?!?” Charles answers you with holding his head between his hands, eyes open in shock and frustration.

Maybe he is right, you don’t really know it, but still you think he is not right. And he still thinks you’re being unreasonable.

“You know what Charles is fine! You win, you're right I'm the bitch here, I'm the one who's wrong...this (pointing the space between you two) isn't working. I was right that we should keep our distance from each other.” It’s all you have to say at that. There is no argument anymore, neither of you is willing to let go of whatever is holding you back from each other. And he has a point.

“And there you go again! Trying to run away. You just want the fun and games… and then when someone gets hurt or gets too close to your emotions, you blame them for having feelings. Well, you’re not gonna run away that easily from me. I want you to admit that you care.”. Charles says stepping closer to you.

“For the love of god! when did I say I didn't care! I do, and that's the problem!.” you answer him looking into his eyes. And he is taken by surprise. You do care, and he does too.

“Okay, then show it to me! Show you care for me! You wanted me to show I cared and here I am. So now is your chance, show you care. Don’t just say it, don’t run. Show you care.” He says grabbing you by the wrist preventing you from move away, which you try, but he wont let you.

You feel so expose, he is looking into your soul now.

“Tell me the truth. Am I just a toy for you? Because if it’s just about the fun times, I can leave you right here and never talk to you again… Answer me” Charles is slowly disarming you.

"No, you're not..." your words bearly audible.

He moves even closer until his lips are just a few inches from yours. All his anger has subsided and now he looks at you with fiery eyes “Then why do you push me away... Why?”.

You smile and look down. “The same reason you did it. Because I thought you didn't want any more than sex with me.” I whisper.

“So we’re both cowards, huh?” he says looking at his feet.

"We're both proud assholes..." you admit.

“Then we should stop being so proud. What do you say?” Charles finally says as he slowly leans in and kisses you.

You just respond with another kiss, this one it’s deeper. Hands everywhere. Things start getting out of control rapidly.

“We should stop. You have to go back” you say between kisses. Snapping both of you out of the frenzy.

“Right!” he says stepping back and covering his mouth trying to control himself.

“We have a three-week break, we should take this time to think.” You look at him trying to figurated what he is thinking.

“Or…” he comes back with answer “I can visit London, you know for my vacation, and if you happened to be there, then…” he comes closer “...we can hang out”

You nod taking his suggestion. “Right ok…sounds like a plan.”

"All right then firecracker...I'll text you ok," he says resting his forehead on yours.

It takes more than a few minutes for you two to say goodbye.

The 3 weeks break ahead is looking pretty good.

Now that they got their mind straight how will this relationship develop? Will it develop? How will they manage to keep all the balls in the air? Will passion and romance betray the secrecy of what they have? There is a whole lot of things to deal with.

Let me know what you think, please.

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x y/n #charles lecler / older woman #charles leclerc/you #reverse age gap #reverse age gap relationship #older woman/younger man #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #ferro rosso

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sleepysigh · 9 months ago

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Saw a tiktok recently that made me put my phone down for a while bc of how it fucked with me.

This woman posted talking about how you'll feel so much better when you break up with your "crisis" friend.

Your crisis friend, she explained, is the friend you have who constantly needs help but is never in a position to help you. This friend seems to always be going through an awful time, and dealing with their own struggle is always their first priority. They are rarely or never able to be a shoulder to cry on, they flake on plans, they're broke, etc.

She said the reason this friend is in crisis is because they need a crisis in order to have an excuse not to reciprocate the effort their friends put into them. They do it for pity or attention or free food or whatever. That's why they're so awful to be around and draining. If they're frequently in crisis, it's because they're choosing it.

Give up on your crisis friend and cut contact, she said, it'll be the biggest relief of your life.

In the comments were people agreeing with her. "Oh I ended my friendship with my crisis friend of 13 years recently and I am finally able to relax." Message after message saying things like that.

I felt sick to my stomach. My life is more downs than ups, after all. I've had more than one friend act concerned, offer to help me, try to cheer me up, and then when my chronic issues don't go away, they go low or no contact with me.

My mid-20's friend group doesn't invite me around anymore. Most friends end up telling me I'm too much. Now I'm almost 30 with no community.

And the whole time, I've been trying. Of course I've been trying! I've been in and out of therapy, I've been to doctors and I take my medicine. I've changed jobs. I've taken feedback and I apologize when I'm wrong, and yet...

I'm in a cycle of poverty and illness. It doesn't go away. It pushes me into crisis after crisis. It exhausts me. It exhausts the people who empathize with me. For long periods of time I'm not available at all. It pains me.

Is this really just how people will always see me? Someone who refuses to stop having problems? Someone who IS a problem because they keep having problems?

Have I really been trying to connect with people so I don't have to go through everything alone, only to discover that the hardest challenge in their life is knowing me?

I'm not supposed to be bitter. What good would it do to be angry and bitter? What good would it do to feel bad for myself? But how else do I take it? Am I supposed to see something like that and feel anything but nausea?

Every day I feel like I go a little crazier realizing how much of my struggle to make friends is down to stable, healthy people getting a bad vibe because I'm not okay. Every self help google search result starts with "build yourself a support system."

The culture finds the thought of supporting someone like me disgusting. A waste of time and energy. How? God I'm so revolted by it all.

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rosheendubh · 1 year ago

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just as point in fact…no one ever paired Tywin Lannister and dad-bod in the same sentence…

—Just sayin’…a mid-60s/maybe early 70s, lean, mean, ruthless, pragmatic, cunning, disciplined, battle-machine. He walked into that throne room when Cersei was about to kill herself, and her son, with more presence than Filoni’s rendition of Thrawn (no fault to Lars, but he was both not well cast, and not well directed) could to an entire ISD hanger’s worth of Fart-Gas Zombies held together by red duct tape chanting his name…which is also quite out of character, whether from Legends/canon EU books. Thrawn’s characterization with Zahn is many things, but excessive displays of aggrandizing isn’t one of them (cue: the apologetics for “but 10 years in Exile”)…it also doesn’t help that none of the actors look like they’re taking their lines seriously (and with the over-long, melodramatic pauses, long-range 10000 yard stares, and ChatGPT level dialogue, who can blame them?—no honestly, I’ve seen ChatGPT dialogue that sounded exactly like that exchange between Sabine and Ahsoka on the ship, with her training…down to the actual tags/and descriptors), and move through the space around them so stiff and hesitant, you can tell no time was taken to smooth out scenes largely cast on green-screen between the production team, and the actors. Which is why, even the action bits appear awkward, and without much dynamism.

—To each their own, but this portrayal of such a pivotal character is definitely Filoni’s (horridly, but only IMHO) misconstruction. —and as for Ezra and Sabine’s reunion…*wah-wah-wah*—whaaaa??? Anyone recall Sansa and Jon Snow’s embrace after ALL THE ABSOLUTE SHITE they’ve survived over the years? I will still rewatch that moment—ya’ll should too. It’s very cathartic compared to Gazoo-moment everyone was rewarded with, between Ezra (“Hey, Girl, Waz’Up-Word”)-lost-boy-for-a-decade-SpaceAladdin, and Sabine (I’m supposed to be in my late 20s/30?-with the emotional maturity of a teen who just lost cell phone privileges-so flipping annoying-you wish Shin actually had gutted her and decapitated her…omg—how do people think she’s *sooo awesome*—and goes shrill on a Wolf-Horse for…reasons?? Oh, dramatic tension, she’s a very tortured and *fiery* warrior…I’m a woman, and a feminist, but this ain’t how ladies should be written…this is how fanboys think STRONGFEMALECHARACTERS act…take a pass, go watch EmilyBlunt in ‘TheEdgeofTomorrow*…).

—GoTs has A LOT OF ISSUES (mostly with S7/S8 of GoT, and its early Season1 episodes were admittedly…difficult. For a while, I called it LotR with T&A$$…but by that SeasonFinale, as Daenerys stepped out of ashes with 3 lil’Bebe Dragons, and Jorah kneels to her, vowing that line, “Blood of my Blood”—a line that could have fallen in flat-trope-tripe—hell no, hello, Drama Hook. We were on Team Dany…). —Genera differences aside, Team Filoni needs to take some lessons from what the GoTs writers/producers learned as they re-vamped (apparently, an even worse original filming of S1E1 of GoTs, that went back to the drawing board, it was so awful…so urban legend/DenofGeek alleges)—get fresh eyes to look at what you’re doin’ dudes…and maybe someone who’s read the actual source material. But isn’t in love with it—like Gilroy. I still think that’s why ‘Andor’ carried such a different essence—and a much needed sophistication for how science-fiction, and SpaceOpera ought to land. Fuck, go read some DeathStalker too, if you’re looking for bombast with tropes, and a good time. Watch bloody ‘The Expanse’. Someone mentioned, if Filoni required a lesson on how to communicate back-story as a balance between narration, and scene progression, to bring a largely uninformed audience up to speed on a Universe/World building Plot mythos with which most audience isn’t familiar, watch the first 15 minutes of ‘Serenity’. And maybe the entire Season of ‘Arcane’?. —which leads to the ultimate conclusion, Thrawn shouldn’t have been used by Filoni at all in ‘Rebels’. They needed a BigBad, and he ought to have just contrived his own generic Imperial of the Week. Which is what he did. And named it Thrawn. And yes, I know, supposedly he consulted Zahn. I’m more convinced, Zahn is diplomatic, and either felt (as he’d mentioned a few years ago), he was done writing Thrawn’s arc, and so, resigned his BlueManArtLovingAdmiral to the Disney drain of EU archives from which Disney borrows when it can’t be bothered to create its own original characters; or, he’s going to quietly retcon Thrawnius back into Zahn shape—given the rumors of recent months where he seems to have reconsidered revisiting Thrawn/Chiss arcs. Who knows? —My suspicion with ‘Rebels’ (of which, I completely can figure out the story-line, *secret*—it’s not that complicated for anyone who’s read any sort of children’s literature, or young adult books through their youth. Yes, I’ve tried watching episodes—it’s a cartoon made for kids—would’a loved as a kid…probably/maybe? As an adult, I’m wondering what other fodder people read and watch to consider this *quality*). I think what no one admits is, the animated series needed a big name from popular Lore to draw viewers, so there was computer-animated, cartoon-Thrawn…Filoni’s Disney Imperial. —okay, soap box rant done—we all have our OPs. I’m holding out for Andor/S2, but after that, cancelling Disney+. Actually, might even cancel before, and just renew when Andor/S2 comes out…

#Thrawn #not Thrawn #poor Lars #he’s now going to attached to this project for the rest of his career

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livythewriter · 8 months ago

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Alien AU PT I (Elsbeth x Fem!Reader)

Word count: 2071 Warnings: Strong language, drug mention, blood and violence, mentions of death, a bit of angst

Summary: Reader is an alien who came down to Earth. She is assigned detective work.

Today was my third day on Earth. My mission was to learn about humanity so my kind – Ogthans – could possibly live on this planet. Our planet was in danger of being burnt to a crisp by its sun, a magnificent blue star in the middle of the Gnoarmak Solar System.

I was assigned a job with the NYPD as a deductive, I believe? I had learned English in a rush, so I wasn’t the most fluent. I still had a bit of an accent, but apparently it sounded similar to another accent on Earth in the Europe continent, Swedish I believe. So I blended in about as much as a foreign deductive in Yew Nork City could.

There was a crime today, and it was my first day on the job, so I dressed as well as I could, using the clothes I had been given. My human form blended in with all others of humanity, though I was more on the tall side.

After getting ready and doing human routines, I drove to the crime scene. It was a body found near a lake, washed up ashore. A woman in her mid 30s, blonde hair, average frame, average height. I didn’t really know what to do as a deductive, I suppose I was meant to deduce something about the crime and what happened to the woman. Her name was Agatha, and she was found with a gunshot wound to the head. It was only my third day on this planet, and I was already seeing the worst parts of humanity.

As I looked at the body, a tap on my shoulder alerted me to someone behind me. I looked behind me to see a woman, dressed in colorful clothing, with a friendly smile on her face. “Hey there, is this your first day here?”

My mind blanked, as I worried she had figured out I’m an alien, “What do you mean? I’ve been here since I borned!”

“Oh, I meant your first day on the job. That’s such a fascinating accent though, are you from somewhere else?” The woman asked.

“Swedish. I am from Swedish. What is your name?” I returned her question with one of my own.

“Elsbeth Tascioni, and you?” The woman held her hand out, and I tilted my head, confused, “You’re supposed to shake it.” I grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously in all directions. “No, more like this.” Elsbeth showed me how to shake a hand, and I nodded.

“My name is Orgre- I mean, my name is ___.” I almost said my real name, but corrected myself and gave her the name I had been assigned.

“That is a lovely name!”

“Thank you. This woman was shot.” I gestured to the dead woman. Elsbeth nodded. “By the way, I’m a deductive. That means I look at crime.”

“Oh, you mean a detective?” Elsbeth corrected me.

“Yes. What do we do about this lady?” I pointed to the dead woman.

“Well, you would look at the clues, and interview people who knew her to see who might have murdered her.” Elsbeth looked a bit suspicious, but seemed to shake it off in favor of explaining to me my job.

“Okay. I will see who murdered her.” I look at the clues around the scene. She had a piece of glass in her hand, maybe she was trying to fight back. The glass had some blood on it.

“I think she was trying to defend herself. We should see whose blood this is on the glass.” I said, wondering where this sudden know-how on how to do my job came from.

“Yes, very good! Wanna go and interview some people?” Elsbeth asked.

“Yes.” We walked up to a tall, imposing man with dark eyes. This was obviously the murderer. “Hello. I am a detective. I am detecting the murder of Agatha Brody.” I pointed at him.

“What the hell you do you want? I didn’t do shit. Fuck off, weirdo.” The man said harshly.

“Excuse me, could you tone down the language a bit? She’s just doing her job. I’m Elsbeth Tascioni. We’re just narrowing down who might have hurt Agatha. Do you know anyone who might have wanted to hurt her?” Elsbeth asked.

“I don’t know shit. Anyways, that bitch had it coming anyway. She was my landlord, charged me 7000 a month for a shabby one bedroom apartment, didn’t do shit about the cockroaches and centipedes everywhere. Or the rats chewin on my toes. Coulda gotten rabies, but she didn’t care.” The man grumbled.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Thaddius. I know, dumb fuckin name, never cared enough to change it. I don’t give a damn about your name, so don’t bother.”

“Okay. Where were you last night?” I asked.

“Snorting blow off a strippers back, that’s where.” Thaddius snorted.

“That is illegal. I could arrest you for that.” I said bluntly.

“Oh for god’s sake, I was joking! I was at Tony’s bar smokin some weed, which is legal now so don’t bother arresting me for that.”

“I see. Where is Tony’s bar?”

“It’s three lefts and to the right down the street.”

“Okay, bye bye. We’ll see you later.” Me and Elsbeth walked to Tony’s bar, and asked Tony if he had seen Thaddius that night. Tony said he had, and we were about to leave, when all of a sudden, a small, quiet woman stopped us.

“Can I talk to you guys in the bathroom?” She asked.

“Yes.” We followed her into the bathroom.

“I didn’t see Thaddius last night. I think Tony’s covering for him. He did come in this morning and gave Tony some money, whispering to him about something.” The woman whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” I asked.

“Walls are thin. Place is cheap. Please be careful.”

“Okay, we’re going to ask him about it, but we won’t tell him you told us, don’t worry.” We left the bathroom and walked up to Tony.

“Excuse me, Tony.” I began, “Somebody said that Thaddius wasn’t here last night and that he came in here this morning and gave you money, is this true?”

“Get outta here, I ain’t got time to answer questions.” Tony waved us off dismissively.

“Hi, I’m Elsbeth Tascioni.” Elsbeth greeted Tony with a smile, “We really don’t mean to bother you, it’s just that you’re not putting yourself in the best light here. If you tell us what happened, we won’t arrest you for accessory to a crime if we find Thaddius to be guilty!”

“Okay fine, christ. He wasn’t here last night, and he did come in here this morning to offer me money to tell anyone who asks that he was here last night. He said it’s cause he was gonna be off with some girl, someone who wasn’t his wife.” Tony explained.

“Thank you so much, you’ve helped us so much!” Elsbeth waved Tony goodbye as we left.

“He is so guilty.” I said about Thaddius.

“Yeah, I had my suspicions…” Elsbeth said.

“Well I had suspicions first, so ha!” I said, suddenly feeling competitive.

“It’s not really a competition, silly…”

“But if it were, I would win!” I bragged.

“Alright then…”

We told the other detectives about what happened, and they agreed to arrest Thaddius. We watched as he was cuffed and carried away.

“Alright jeez I did it!” Thaddius shouted at us as he was whisked away, “She was threatening to tell my wife about our affair, I had to do somethin’ about it! You woulda done the same thing in my shoes!”

I turned to Elsbeth, “I do not think I would have done that.”

Elsbeth shook her head, “Yeah, me neither. You did great for your first case by the way!”

“Thank you. I will be the best detective ever.”

“Wanna go grab something to eat?” She asked.

“Yes. I haven’t had much huma- I mean, my tastes aren’t that expanded, maybe I could try something new.” I almost said I hadn’t had much human food; that would have revealed my secret.

Elsbeth looked suspicious once again, but gave me a smile, “I have a good place then. It’s a ramen shop! Have you ever tried ramen?”

“No.”

“Great! Come with me, it’s nearby!” She started walking away, and I followed her to a small building with a cozy interior.

“What kind of ramen do you want?” She asked.

“I don’t know. What kind are there?” I had heard of ramen in my giant human book, but nothing of what kinds there were.

“Let’s see… there’s miso ramen, pork ramen, beef ramen, more types that I can’t quite remember off the top of my head…” Elsbeth looked thoughtful.

“Okay. I want miso. It sounds funny.” I said.

“I think I’m gonna order the pork ramen!” We ordered our ramen and waited at the booth.

“I can’t wait to try ramen. It looks very good.” I said, “You eat it with chop-sticks, right?”

“Yes! But you can also eat it with a fork if you struggle with chopsticks.”

“I am up for the challenge!”

Elsbeth chuckled, “Alright then… I think our food is ready now, let’s go get it.” We grabbed our food and went back to the booth.

I looked at my chopsticks, and tried to grasp them, but it felt awkward, and I couldn’t grip my food with them. Elsbeth reached over and positioned my hands so I was properly gripping the chopsticks, “There you go, like this.”

“Thank you.” I struggled at first to grasp the noodles, but eventually got it right and started eating, “This is salty. I like it.” My species relied on salt to live, large amounts of it.

“I love pork ramen! It’s so good!” Elsbeth said, taking a bite out of her ramen.

“May I have a taste?” I asked.

“Of course.” I picked her ramen up and took a bite. It was very good, but not as good as mine.

“Did you like it?” Elsbeth nudged me.

“Yes. Very good. Mine is better though.”

We chatted while we ate, and I realized that I enjoyed her presence.

After that, we started getting assigned on more cases together, and grew closer as we talked more. She was my first human friend, and something I found out about her was that people tended to find her weird, but I didn’t know why because she was very normal to me.

And as we got closer, I learned more about Earth, my English getting way better.

One day we were chasing down a culprit who was running pretty fast. Elsbeth and I finally had him cornered.

“Wow, it’s a good thing I run on my treadmill regularly, otherwise I would be exhausted right now!” Elsbeth said, now slightly winded from all that running.

“Don’t make me stab you both!” The culprit yelled at us.

“It’s too late, give up. We have you cornered.” I told the man.

“Not for long you don’t.” Out of the blue, the man ran past us, but not before he stabbed Elsbeth in the stomach. Elsbeth immediately keeled over, and I ran to her side, panicking.

“Elsbeth, everything’s gonna be okay! Just stay with me!” I clasped her stomach with my hands.

“I… I’m tired…” Elsbeth said, looking at me through half-lidded eyes.

“Elsbeth please… don’t leave me here…” I felt my eyes filling up with tears. This wasn’t the first time I had cried since taking on this human form, but this time definitely felt the worst as I couldn’t stop shaking. A thought occurred to me, making me wonder if I would have to do something, a thing that would reveal what I truly was. I didn’t want to do it, but at the same time I wanted to save her, I didn’t want her to die.

“Before I go… I just want to say… I-I like you, a lot.” Elsbeth coughed blood, wheezing between words.

“No. You are not leaving me. I’m so sorry for what is about to happen.” I closed my eyes, focusing all my energy onto her wound. My hands felt hot, and even through my closed eyes a light shone bright. And then, just like that, the wound was healed.

Elsbeth looked down at where my hands cupped her stomach, confused, “___… What did you just do?”

I sighed, “Elsbeth, you know how I’m not from America?”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m not from Earth either.”

#x reader #elsbeth tascioni x reader #elsbeth x reader #elsbeth #elsbeth cbs #elsbeth tascioni

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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago

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3/31/23

Spring has started. I can tell. I can feel myself changing, like a flower blooming. Emotionally, I guess... personality-wise. I think getting outside and socializing helped a lot too. But I legit am feeling myself grow more optimistic and confident. Despite lots of stress. Despite extreme isolation. Despite the same limiting anxieties.

Today was very different. I had a really good dream. But, very vivid. My dreams have been insanely vivid lately. This one was really nice. There was a woman in it. Fuck it, I'll just share what I remember. It's a little embarrassing because of like... how far I've strayed from the confident person I used to be... but it's a good representation of like... the juxtaposition of who I currently am and who I used to be/aspire to become again.

I was out at dinner at a restaurant. I remembered it was too late to order delivery (past 9, it's rare for me to remember numbers from dreams, so that was how vivid this was), so I said fuck it and went out to a local restaurant that I found on an app. I remember it had some like... kinda fancy gastropub-like name, so I was like... "oh, my brother and his wife would probably like this place", they're both foodies... but the restaurant had (Applebee's) in parentheses after it. That sealed the deal for me! XD

When I was out at dinner, I was there with a young girl. She was probably about... 8? I would guess... I'm not very good at guessing, I'm a childless guy in my mid-30's who only has a less-than-1-year-old nephew, I'm not really well-versed in the skill of guessing children's ages. This girl was someone I was there to babysit, I was in the guardian role, I'm guessing she was a symbol of my god-daughter or a daughter figure, or an analog of my nephew in the future or something. In past dreams of mine, children under my care have typically taken the form of female so often that I'd honestly be surprised if my first child was male.

So I'm out to dinner with this girl and the waitress comes over and takes our drink order... and I get anxious for some reason, pressure I guess? I hadn't looked at the menu. I skimmed the menu and picked out a Shirley Temple, and the waitress kinda side-eyed me and went... "are you sure? That's kind of a kid's drink..." And I... dude, I fucking backpedaled. I was like... "oh... yeah... well, in that case, I guess I'll have a Sprite, that's fine." And as the waitress was walking off to take the order, a woman at a table nearby flagged her down.

She was an attractive blonde around my age, she was with her daughter, who was around the age of the kid I was taking care of. She said some conditions to the waitress that I didn't catch or don't remember, but it was something like... "if _____ happens, you need to bring him that kid's drink." Like... intentionally, lovingly, prankishly putting me in an awkward position so I would have to fucking "yes, and" my way through that shit. Like I used to. Like I haven't fucking done in ages.

I used to jump at the chance to make an ass out of myself! Okay... here's a few tangential stories, for my own sake, to remember the good times, the person I was and still am deep inside. I went to a metal concert with my brother and two friends. This was ironically the one where I got kicked in the shin with steel toed boots. I had so much adrenaline pumping through my system, I really didn't think it was that bad at all. I bought a pair of booty shorts from the merch booth for myself, as a stupid goofy outfit. I had tons of weird goofy clothes to wear to kinda... subvert peoples' expectations and make an ass out of myself to lighten the mood and lift spirits. Like a Jackass kinda thing. So at the end of the show, it was like... I guess... maybe very early summer, so... still pretty cold at night. And after the show, I was in the parking lot in skate shoes, black booty shorts that said "Yo Ho" on the butt, no shirt and sunglasses, chainsmoking with a lighter tucked into the front of my pants. Why? Because it's fucking funny, no one dresses like that! It's out of place! Idk I thought it was funny, like an Eric Andre or Tim and Eric or Jackass kinda thing.

Another memory that keeps coming back was the second year I got to play with one of my bands on stage. We had a band that was called ShugaLoaf, a completely improvised rock/metal jam band. My brother was part of the band, we had 3 guitarists, a bassist and a drummer, but we rotated instruments a bit, so I would rotate between guitar and drums, T-Humps would rotate between guitar and drums, shit like that. And I played that gig with... silver spandex hot pants, barefoot, a T-shirt with a sliced loaf of bread drawn on it and cut in half so it was like a crop top, a green clip-on bow tie, gold glitter painted fingernails and a fucking whole-head rubber wizard mask. It was so much fun. I don't even care if we were any good, honestly. I don't care if those like 40 people watching us enjoyed us, or if we were just complete crap. I loved just acting goofy and being weird and having fun. It's like that feeling you get at a Halloween party, you know? And you can get that feeling any time you want, if you want. It's just... less "socially acceptable" to do it outside of certain environments, so it helps to have supportive friends, or to just not give a fuck what people think. I tended to fall more in the latter camp, and... that changed quite a bit over the years. Especially after dating someone who never went along with my "yes, and's".

So... in the dream... this woman who I had never met before had overheard my anxious fumbling situation, and my neurotic "oh man, what are people going to think of me if I'm seen ordering that drink, oh mercy me..." bullshit. And she added in some game conditions where I would, somewhat by chance, be put in that situation and have to figure it out. And it was so... fucking... relieving. It was like a weight lifted. I could see how silly it was. And I knew so fucking well that someone like her was exactly what I need in my life to rejuvenate that part of me. And I know she lives inside of me, which is really cool, and I can tap into that whenever I want. But... god, it'd be so much cooler if I met someone like her... XD Right? A guy can hope.

The dream time-jumped a bit, she came over to the table, it turned out that her daughter was in the same class as the girl I was caring for, they were friends. It was a nice connection, we hit it off.

Later in the dream, the chick was skating down a sidewalk that goes down a big hill, this was on a college campus... most of the dream took place on a college campus for whatever reason... and the sidewalk just like... suddenly dropped like a curb right where the hill went to flat, and then continued normally after the curb drop. And she was coming down the hill and did that thing that I did skating the other day, that people who are not as experienced or comfortable on their board do, where they kinda jump off their board and run away in a different direction. Because she saw the curb and didn't want to eat shit on it, it spooked her. And I went over to her and she was upset about how like... "god, how could they put this here, that's so dumb, it totally ruins it", and I was kinda like "yeah, I think that's kinda the point! It stops people from bombing the hill". But I saw a golden opportunity to teach her how to comfortably drop down curbs, and help her with that; instead of being upset, to see the fun in it and the opportunity to learn a new trick, and... I woke up.

And... I couldn't get back to sleep. I could barely even journal it. Because this was after only 4 hours of sleep. And my brain is just a chaotic fuzzy mess at that point. I'm basically sloppy drunk at that stage, especially with several days of sleep deprivation added to the pile. So, I dream-journaled it, which is why I remember so much of it. And then I went downstairs and got a snack and passed out in the comfy chair again. Not sure why passing out down here works better than just passing out in my bed, but... hey... if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

I woke up the second time at 2PM. Right when I needed to be up for a shower before my doctor's appointment. All went as scheduled, I got to the appointment, the dude was really nice. But he did hold eye contact a lot. Which, at a core level, I appreciated... but in my experience of the moment was super overwhelming. To go from very rare social interactions, like... barely making eye contact with strangers in the hallway... to full-on holding eye contact alone in a room with a stranger, where they are wearing a mask covering half their face, and they're between you and the door. I mean... it's fucking intense, especially for someone with doctor-related trauma. I don't feel... threatened by it. It's just... intimate and overwhelming. Overwhelming, that's the best way to put it. It's like someone just like... injected a whole energy drink into my veins all at once or something. And this went on for... nearly 45 minutes. Dude, I was absolutely blown away that the doctor made so much time for me. I was completely expecting a 15 minute one-and-done appointment. And this dude actually made time for me, and addressed my recurring infection thing, that he thinks is a result of me shaving my head... interestingly enough... Like shaving my head is cutting my scalp, and then the bacteria are just... setting up shop in there and the infection is secondary. So... instead of bombarding it with antibiotics, which did not work, we're going to try to reduce the inflammation to make it less painful, and try a different self-care regimen. Either I'm going to keep my hair at a low buzz instead of basically stubble... or... I might grow it out. It might actually be time to go back to like... ponytail-long hair. It's been ages. But hey, if that will make these fucking nasty pimple-like things that hurt like fuck go away, I'm in. Speaking of, the doc actually took a sample from one of them too just to figure out what was going on with it, but had to like... pop one... and I'm just going to tell you right now. If you are ever offered the wonderful opportunity to have an infection on the back of your scalp popped... don't miss out on that gem of an experience. Absolutely wonderful sensation. Think those headaches you can get right where the occipital bone meets the back/neck muscles, plus... intense swelling pressure, and then kind of a feeling like getting tattooed, followed by stinging.

So yeah, it was good to have a pleasant doctor's experience (minus the little bit of pain). He seemed genuinely interested in my story and not rushed for time, which I expressed appreciation for very openly. I had my therapy appointment after, which went very well also. We're very buddy-buddy now, which is nice. We felt very on-the-same-page today. And I explained a lot about the anxiety shit... the big amorphous wall of anxiety, and how him reminding me the connection to the polyvagal system has been really helpful for me. I made the connection that like... well, he reminded me that I was raised with pretty poor expectations of relationships, because of my family. And I elaborated that, in addition to this, I had crap luck with friends, too. And romantic partners. And maybe I just didn't know any better? I didn't know that better was a real thing and that walking away in those situations was actually like... a good thing? I just got bad d20 rolls, you know? Meet a person, happens to be a fentanyl dealer.

And he brought into the conversation this time that I... see the best in everyone. EVERYONE. Like, I could see the best in a fucking Great White Shark that was eating my leg. Or a black hole that I was being sucked into. And we went back and forth on that, how frustrating that one of my best qualities, that has been a quality of mine since I was born, something very deeply rooted in my personality, has led me to where I am now. Because people have taken advantage of it. And used me. And abused me. And drained me dry. And left me bleeding on the side of the road. And ran. And screamed and blamed and pushed me away. You name it. And I took it all, and forgave it all. Because I see the light in all of us. I see us all as being redeemable. And there are many many many many many many many many many many many times that I wish I didn't. That I wish I could just turn that off.

And that's where the paradox comes out. If I see the light in everyone... why am I walking around expecting the darkness in everyone to strike me? Why am I skating and expecting someone to pull a gun on me? Or pull a knife when I'm walking to the medical center and try to steal my AirPods? Or have a cop pull me over and give me a ticket for skating in the sidewalk? Or have some cranky asshole yell at me because the clacking of my wheels on the sidewalk was "too loud". If I see the best in everyone, if I can forgive the Devil himself, why am I expecting the worst to happen all the time? It still confuses me. It hasn't always been this way.

And I explained to my therapist that I think that is the trauma component. That was because for years... since about... oh crap... I was gonna say the whole pandemic, but it was the summer before that too... and with my last relationship... at least a lot of it... so... let's be generous and say... since about 2017? Since around when I moved into my old house, the one on the pond? That's when the shit hit the fan. That's when I people really close to me... were regularly, very regularly, gaslighting and projecting and blaming me for their insecurities and unmanaged emotions and shit. It started with my ex. Then it was my parents. Then it was my little brother. Then it was 2 of my former best friends. Then my only other friend at the time. Then I looked around, and there was no one left. It was like when I finally pulled the Jenga block of my ex out of my life... in time, the rest of the tower just collapsed.

And, I shit you not, the catalyst for this was... me reconnecting with myself, rediscovering my confidence, rediscovering my creativity and inspiration, and cultivating motivation myself and diving head-first into creating my new life. A life that's about... 4 years old now. Happy birthday, New Me. :) Past Me would be scared shitless to share all this on the internet with random strangers, but New Me knows that life is too precious and fleeting to be scared of peoples' superficial judgement. At least... he tries to remember that... as much as he can... But man, people can be really fucking loud and nosy with their judgement, huh? People just really don't know when to keep their opinions to their selves anymore, do they? Thanks, Twitter.

So... I was kinda summing up for him that I think what I'm having is just sort of a... generalized trauma response to... being around figures that have more power than me? Because of being regularly yelled at and blamed by people very close to me, regularly, like several times a week, every week, for years. And having that be the only social interaction I had. It's like... you put a dog in a closet and smack it on the nose every time I tries to come out... it's gonna wince every time it comes out of the closet. Right? So... slow and steady... I'm just chipping away at the anxiety reflexes by building up my library of experiences, so it's not 95% of the time bad things happen when you interact with authority figures... it's like... 75%. Then 50%. Then eventually 20%... and so on. Like with my doctors. I definitely have a bit of medical trauma. A lot, actually. So... I was in the doctor's office all hunched over and shoulders up and had to be really deliberate to make eye contact. I think I was visibly not good. But the nurse was super chill and helped break the ice, and the doctor seemed very understanding and patient, and didn't seem to judge me the way I was expecting. So... my doctor percentage right now is like... 80% bad and 20% good. Which is much better than like "I shouldn't even bother setting up an appointment, they're just going to accuse me of drug seeking and kick me out." Much better.

So yeah, I got chinese food and watched an RP stream and that was basically it. Did some runs in the desire path project that I'm still super insecure about because I just don't think anyone will fucking get it... but yeah, since that's the case... here. Fuck it. I'll export the current progress and put it here. In case anyone read this far down.

That's 80 trips now. Looks pretty cool, right? It keeps giving me lightning vibes. I'm going to 100 runs, then I'm going to either start a new one... or... the idea that popped in my head today was... If I pop this into Blender and use the grease pencil, trace all these paths one by one, I can actually... animate this. I was thinking it might make more sense and be more accessible for today's audience to make a video for this kind of piece. That tells the concept, explains the parallels that I'm exploring (development of habits, learning, synaptic connection), shows bits of the process and then displays this final product in a form that's a bit more dynamic. I mean, this is very striking for me, because I know what it means, I know the scale. That circle shrine at the top has a 17m diameter, for scale. And I've seen the development of the really thick lines where the path has been steadily growing, to the point where there's nearly a solid line all the way throughout that formed completely unintentionally, it was just a byproduct of intuitive pathfinding as I was building a routine. So yeah, I'm putting a lot of thought into storyboarding and scripting a video for this and then putting it on Instagram and YouTube. I think it'll be good.

So yeah. Unfortunately, it got late again. But I have nothing to do tomorrow so... I might take a small dose of tincture tonight and try to just catch up on sleep as much as I can. It's very overdue.

Oh... and I have to finish my hoodie still... Hmm... Soon, soon... XD

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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royalwriteroftheuniverse · 2 years ago

Text

Chris and I- bringing our Baby home for the first time

18+ just in case ALL FLUFF (slight mention of parent death) bringing baby home from being born choose ur own Chris (its an AU) COMMENTS & REBLOGS APPRECIATED no permission to repost republish or tralnslate.

"Chris why are you driving so slow?" I'm with our baby in the back while he's driving the Audi, (always my favorite car)

"Because"

"Yea but hon it's our private road my baby's gunna turn three before we get to the house."

"Um excuse me its our Baby"

"Sure let's just so with that." I playfully roll my eyes and see Chris pout in the rear view mirror.

"That's not funny you know how long I've wanted a family for."

"I do and I'm sorry." I pause for a few second. "Actually I'm not because you're taking forever and I am in desperate need of a bath and she is going to need to be changed soon and you should get rest. Because I am not letting her cry herself to sleep. A d-"

"You think I'd do that? Hell no."

"Good because I'm not going to be the only one getting up so if you can increase to may at least 10 miles an hour. I'd appreciate it."

"Fine. "

"Dare I even ask for 30?" I flirty teases.

"Don't push it." His lip curls a bit.

My phone dings

"Oooo"

What?

"Scott left us cheesecake in the fridge and your mother will be bringing us dinner! God I love your family."

My tears well up

"I know. I'm sorry hon. I'm sure your mother would've loved to be here but I know she's watching over us. "

"I know I just....."

"Hey it's ok you've got my family and they love you more than me so"

I laugh

"It's gunna be weird without dodger there but I can't wait until he gets to meet his baby sister." I changed the topic in a dime-I know. And I know Chris knows I did that on purpose- it's too painful to talk about right now; especially with emotions all over the place.

"I'm glad everyone understood we wanted some alone time."

"Well it was that or we leave them on a porch to freeze."

"Oh my sweet little one you have no idea how much you're loved." I caress her cheek.

"Oh she knows did you see how much she loved people. Who visited her she drank it up."

"Oh I saw. I'm glad she has a big family who loves her. She's so beautiful."

"Just like her mama."

"Chris."

"What? Its true. She is practically your mini me. Franky I'm thrilled I was terrified."

"Yea gorgeous sexy actor who'd want to look like-"

"You do remember those scene where I had to dress up like a woman."

"Good point I'm still traumatized."

"We all were" he laughs

"Chris did we move at all?"

"Yes I'm getting there. Relax."

"Well she gunna be hungrey I know and you know I know when she is gunna get hungrey."

"And exactly how is that."

"Mommys intuition."

"I want daddy's intuition" he pouted

Oh thats easy see carry the child for 9 months and push them out through-"

"Ok ok I was there I don't need to relive it."

"You asked. We almost there I wanna cuddle. Honey we have plen-"

"Who said you I wanna cuddle with my baby girl."

"Me too."

"Well you know how we solve that?"

"No."

"We all cuddle together. Wait you seriously didn't think of that?"

"Hon I am just focused on the road."

"Chris you realized if you go to 30 miles we would've been there 5 minutes ago. Especially since Mama here is getting Hangrey" I cross my arms.

"Ok good point."

Within 2 minutes were back at home.

Chris and I unlock the carrier I go to get out he tells me to wait. He get the car seat/carrier he puts her down on the porch and we can see her from where we are.

"You left our child alone? I look at him with" widened eyes.

He pauses in mid movement not sure what to do or say

"I'm just kidding we can see her from here but hon I can walk by myself."

"I just want to help."

"Nothing I say will change things will it?"

"Nope."

"Worth a try. Anyway. Alright go. She needs to eat I want to sleep and you are on diper duty."

"Got it."

That was easier than I thought," I thought.

"Mother knows best." He replies

"How the hell do you know what I was thinking."

"Because we are that in sync."

"I had that inadvertent smirk on my face going didnt I?"

"Yes."

Before we bring her in he opens the door and goes inside for a moment. Then he comes back out.

He won't let me bend down to pick up the carrier so he picks her up but he are holding both sides of the carrier as we walk in together. Thankfully he has huge doors.

"Home sweet home baby girl."

We get the tiniest tiniest yawn.

"That was the cutest thing ever awww."

"I got it all on film baby."

"What?"

I put my camera to record this. So I can send it to everyone.

Can you not send it to everyone on your acting friends list, that didn't go over well like anytime but just to our close close friends and family I don't trust everyone and its my baby and I-"

"I know I know calm down mama bear. I already have a baby list and got NDAs."

Ok so he's even more paranoid than me.

There was a moment of silence.

"Chris."

"Yea

"What do we do first with her?"

he pauses

"I dont know."

"She's sleeping I dont want to take her out of her carrier."

"Me either dont wake a sleeping baby. We leave her on the floor and get changed?"

"I guess"

Were besides ourselves but we change and we sit on the floor and just stare at her.

"She's still asleep how is this possible"

"I don't know."

"We must have the most perfect baby ever- look at her sweet little breaths."

We stare at her, intensly for a while longer ok, for a lot while longer. He keeps trying to take his phone out. I put my hands over his. I mean after the 200th photo we can give it a rest and just take it in.

Chris mom, who has a key, had came and knocked with her finger to get our attention

"Why is she still in her carrier?"

"She's still sleeping."

"I dont want to wake her. I know she's gunna be hungrey and you know when she wakes up but I can't I can't help it. She's so."

We don't want to miss anything.

Ok you two how about you get some sleep and let grandma take care of her

Me and Chris both pout

Now go. You two sleep while you can.

Chris helps me up why I don't know. But he does and we crawl into bed and cuddle up and I fall asleep in his arms the next thing I know his mother is gently waking me, telling me she's hungrey.

Our sweet angel is brought in to me and Chris wakes up a second before she's brought into me.. she grabs onto my finger as she feeds.

“I love you” he kissed my temple

“I know.”

He kisses her head and she gives him the dirtiest look.

I let out a huge laugh.

"You're just like mama" he boops her nose which does nothing to dispell her dirty look.

"Mommy doesn't like to be disturbed when she's eating either."

"Ignore daddy" her eyes turn back to me, turning soft, "hes crazy."

"She likes you better."

"Baby im sure its just cause she loves food and I'm her only source. And she doesn't like me better its just baby moods." I don't know if that’s a thing but its worth a shot to comfort Chris.

"I know she loves you too. She made grabbed hands towards you before she fell asleep."

"Really."

"Yea. Right my little angel you love daddy too."

We turn on the TV low and Chris put on C-span.

"One way to get her to sleep. But maybe save c-span for night time. Put on a movie."

"Which one?”

“I don't know."

We finally settle on Disney's Snow White and not soon after she finishes eating and fals right back asleep. I hold her as Chris puts one arm around me and one arm around the baby.

His mother comes in without us realizing and apprently took a few pictures before she told us to say cheese.

"I'm tired"

"Sleep my love."

"We should put her down in her crib first I wanna do it together its the first time." I pout. So I'm exhausted I'm barely able to make it to her nursery but I'm determined for us to do this as a family. We gently placed her in the crib And Chris is apprently a master at hiding camera because he got the whole thing on film. We placed her in her crib and

and back before I'm out like a light. Chris later told me he held me while watching the baby monitor like a hawk until he fell asleep. I mean she's safe and were home and safe. Theres nothing I need more than what I have right now, snuggling into my husband the perfect first time home.

Ok sure she woke up up for feedings (which Chris got up to get her, and diaper changes and swaddling but she's a baby they do that but she's still a perfect baby... our baby... mine and Chris' perfect baby

Tag list

@sapphire-rogers @nana1000night @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja

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justoneacatperson · 3 years ago

Text

First Date

This is reupload from my old blog!

request by @therealpotatobish

TodoDeku x Fem! Reader

Date with Todoroki and Midoriya is, to put it mildly - chaos. Where do I start?

First we have Todoroki. Very handsome young man with two-tone hair and eyes. We all know that Shoto is not familiar with many things, his childhood was not very colorful and rosy, not at all.

He has not seen his parents take care of each other or behave like a couple, so he is not very familiar with how to treat a person he likes.

He didn’t even realize he liked Midoriya when he was still a student at U.A. It was good that there were his sister to explain to him what those feelings were.

We have already seen that he takes things seriously and does not understand jokes or metaphors, so it takes time to work with him.

Certainly his relationship with Izuku helped him a lot. He showed him what love, care and empathy are, but for him things are complicated again. He and Izuku will date a woman, a woman they have been in love with since their school years in the U.A. Shoto doesn’t know how to treat a woman and what they would like.

We also have the next one, namely Midoriya. Our broccoli boy has remained the same shy young man, despite his fame as the new No.1 hero, this part of him has not changed.

He would certainly do better than Todoroki, but his still shy nature worries him that he won’t be able to talk to you.

They are both worried about your reaction to everything. They have never heard that you like someone, nor have there been rumors that you are with someone, they didn’t even know if you like boys !? Nevertheless, you accepted their invitation to a date, at least they managed to make it clear that they were inviting you to a date, a DATE, and you were fine with that.

Now was the date where they would know if they had a chance with you, and here they were, sitting at the reserved table, waiting for you to come.

21:27p.m

Deku kept a close eye on his watch, looking at every minute. They had arrived about ten minutes ago and were sitting nervously at the table, well, Izuku was moving nervously, and Shoto was sitting meekly, staring at one dot, trying to keep his mind tidy and clear.

-“She will come, Midoriya, our dateis at 9:30p.m.” Todoroki exclaimed, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand under the table to reassure him.

-“Ah, I know, Shoto-san, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous.” the green-haired man replied, smiling at his partner. -“We have been waiting for a long time for the chance to invite her and the fact that she agreed and now we will have a date makes me feel surreal. It’s as if I’ve finally reached a goal that I thought was impossible. It’s very strange that happens, I still consider it unrealistic.”

The two-colored man looked at him with surprised heterochromic eyes. Despite their years together, the things they went through could not be compared to that. And the fact that Deku feels that way surprises him. He is also surprised that he was able to describe how he felt too.

It felt like he was 17 again in his 2nd year at U.A. When he shared his feelings to Midoriya. Confused, scared, excited. He never believed that he would fall in love or be able to be a partner, the love of someone else.

A small smile crept across his face. Todoroki leaned over to his partner, leaning his head on his shoulder. Their physique has changed and evolved over the years. Already in his mid-twenties, Deku had grown much taller than his school years. He was now towering over Shoto.

Midoriya smiled, leaning against Shoto, planting a kiss on his white and red hair. The two parted, looking up at a door that could be heard opening and closing. 20:30, you arrived just in time.

You looked around the restaurant in confusion, looking for your table. Midoriya instinctively raised his hand, waving at you and shouting. -“(Y/n)-chan!” you looked up at them, a wide smile appeared on your face, bringing butterflies into the stomachs of both heroes.

-“Hey, Deku, Sho!” you replied, going to them.

Midoriya wanted to make a good impression by taking your jacket and pulling your chair backward to sit, but you came like a whirlwind, sitting hastily in the seat in front of them. Obviously there will be no good first impression.

-“Oh, I was in such a hurry so as not to be late.” you started, removing your jacket, leaving it on the back of the chair. - “I was nervous not to be late because there was a traffic jam on the road. After I managed to park it took me time to find the restaurant and…”

Deku waved his arms in front of him, trying to reassure you that you weren’t late, sharing his own worries about not being late. So you two became a muttering mess, and Todoroki rested his chin on his hand, happily watching the scene in front of him. Cute.

-“You are not late, you have nothing to worry about.” the two-colored man called out of nowhere, stopping you and Izuku.

-“It’s good to know.” you said calmly, leaving your hands on the table. -“Long time no see.”

-“Since our graduation in the U.A.” added the green-haired man, rubbing the back of his head.

-“What’s happen with you? I last heard you joined Selkie’s agency.” you nodded in agreement to Shoto.

-“Yes, my quirk would be very welcome in sea battles.”

-“Are you adapting fast?” Deku asked cheerfully.

-“Yes, the hero Manual is there too. We have some pretty similar quirks, so he was so kind to help me adapt.” you replied, controlling the water in your glass with your quirk, making it take the shape of a snake and move along the walls of your glass in a circle.

-“This is very good.” exclaimed the hero, tying his hands on the table.

They both felt a little awkward, not knowing how to continue the conversation, fortunately the waitress saved them by giving them the menus. You opened the menu of hard leather covers, looking at the variety of foods.

-“Oh, hey, Sho, they have a cold soba.” you said excitedly, showing him the menu on the first page.

-“So I’ll order a cold soba.” the two-colored man replied before receiving muttering from Midoriya.

-“But, Sho, we have a whole pot full of soba!” you laughed at their interaction, attracting their attention.

-“What?” they both asked at the same time.

-“Nothing, you just haven’t changed since we graduated from the U.A.” you said with a laugh. Deku giggled too, smiling at you.

-“What do you mean? We look the same way we did 7 years ago?” Todoroki asked confusedly, looking at himself and his boyfriend and again to himself. You and Izuku looked at each other and almost fell from your seats with your boisterous laughter. -“Ah?”

-“O-oh…. Sho!” tears formed in the corners of your eyes, wiping them with your hand. -“You’re still funny!”

-“Funny?”

-“Yes.” the green-haired man replied, leaning his head on his partner’s shoulder.

The three of you ordered a teishoku, receiving it in about 30 minutes. Everyone enjoy their food before Todoroki calls.

-“(Y/n), do you see our old class?” you swallowed your food before answering.

-“Yes, even with some very often.” you said, playing with your chopsticks, twisting them between your fingers and doing tricks with them. -“Most often I go out with Kaminari, by some chance it turned out that we work in the same agency.”

-“Kaminari-san?” Deku exclaimed, looking at you in astonishment. You nodded, uttering a little “Uhm.”

-“All right, that’s nice! We haven’t heard from Denki.”

-“Are you close to each other?” Shoto asked, taking another bite of his meal.

-“I’d say yes. We go out often, we message to each other, he’s very cute. He’s also grown a lot from UA, he’s become more responsible and he controls his quirk much better. We have a lot of fun together. We have dinners for us, in which we are on the couch at my or his home and eating popcorn while watching scary movies. "you said with a smile on your face.

-"Oh, I understand…” Todoroki replied, bowing his head over his food, hiding his face through his hair, which he had left to grow for reaching a length where he could tie it in a bun.

Izuku reached under the table, gripping his boyfriend’s thigh, rubbing it lightly to offer support. He knew his boyfriend’s lack of confidence in relationships. He has always worried about whether he is doing well as a partner and doing everything right.

Talking about a boy (and you’re not the person who talks a lot or often about people, especially boys), who is the opposite of his personality and sees that you’re really having fun with him, feels like someone hit him with wet rag across the face.

-“And you guys…” you called, bringing them both back to reality. -“How are you? The press is very interested in your relationship.” you smiled slyly.

-“So… After we graduated from UA, Shoto and I went to Endeavor’s agency, as his partners in catching villains. That was until we turned 22, All Might offered to take his agency… And I took it.” he replied, scratching the back of his head where his undercut was. -“The press found out about my relationship with Todoroki when I took the agency and there were hundreds of news stories that said, ‘Hero No.1 is in a relationship with Endeavor’s son’.”

-”O!?”

-“Yes, and still receives dozens of emails a day, invitations for interviews about our relationship.”

-“It’s too much for you. The press hasn’t learned for so many years that the heroes have a private life that they usually keep to themselves and don’t want to make it public. The personal space of the heroes must be respected.” you said and turned to Todoroki. -“And for so many years as a pro-hero, people have kept leading you the 'son of Endeavor,’ and that’s all you’re known for.”

-“It’s annoying.” Todoroki replied, making you and Deku giggle a little.

-“Well, those are just words from older people in Japan.” the green-haired man exclaimed, rubbing his boyfriend’s thigh. -“I am sure that the young generation will remember you with your name and your deeds.”

-“You’re right.” said his partner.

-“Ah, (Y/n)-san, do you happen to be in a relationship or dating someone?” Midoriya asked you. Shoto immediately ran one hand under the table, squeezing his thigh - too early, Midoriya.

-“O!?” you opened your eyes wide to them from the sudden question. -“No, I’m not in a relationship, I’m not dating anyone. Why do you ask?”

-“Uhhh…” and now was the scariest part of this meeting - to tell you. Shoto looked at Izuku out of the corner of his eye, looking for an answer as to what to do. -“With Shoto we wanted to ask you something…”

-“Yes…” you said under your breath.

-“Would you like to be with us?” Todoroki asked suddenly, leaning back in his chair.

You and Deku looked shocked at the two-colored man. You dropped your chopsticks as you watched Sho like you saw a ghost. Izuku immediately started waving his arms, trying to reassure you, saying that they were not forcing you to be in relationship with them, that they would not be in a hurry, that they would not be angry if you refused, and ect.

It just took you a moment to process Shoto’s question. They wanted to date you? Really? You were like close friends during your school years, but you didn’t think they had any other than platonic feelings about you. They were both open and comfortable, both shy and anxious around you or when talking to you. You wouldn’t be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for them in the U.A., but once you found out they were in a relationship, it discouraged you a lot.

-“So?” Todoroki called again.

-“Sho, calm down, give her ti…”

-“Yes.” you replied, getting “Uh!?” from them. - “I accept, I would like to date you.”

-“Really?” Midoriya asked in surprise.

-“Yes…” you said, tying your hands on the table. -“I would just ask for time to get used to, as this will be my first relationship in my life, especially with more than one person.”

-“We’ll give you all the time you need.” Todoroki said, taking your hand in his. Where did you get this confidence? - Izuku wondered.

-”Thanks.”

-“So… should we continue our dinner to celebrate our relationship?” the green-haired man asked cheerfully.

-“Yes!” you and Shoto answered at the same time.

#bnha poly #mha poly #tododeku #tododeku x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader

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bakubub · 3 years ago

Text

In which Racer!Kuroo is your roommate and you finally learn more about him...

Warnings: Mentions of loss of loved one, disregard for own life, swearing, innuendos and implied nsfw (but sfw overall), fem!reader with she/her pronouns.

A/N: Idek what this is. Its literally a 4.6 k mixture of fluff, angst and comfort... I rewrote this like 4 times :,) being a perfectionist is so,,, tiring.

This takes part shortly after this, you can definitely read this without reading the 'part 1' if you will, since they don't depend on one another.

Art belongs to @aikk00 ,, and yes I am still in love with it :D

I stumble out of the lecture hall, my eyes so heavy I bump into about 3 other students and mumble my apologies until I fully wake up and snap out of my daze.

Walking down the stairs and making my way to the bus stop, I watch in horror as the bus I was supposed to be in drives off, going fast for once in its damn life as if mocking me.

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I manage to keep my composure and sit down at the bus stop, telling myself the next bus will be here in a bit.

It's fine. It's fine. I slept through the lecture, and I still have to catch up on 4 subjects and make dinner, but at least the house is clean and I'm caught up in that one subject I picked up for this exact reason.

It's fine. It's going to be just fi-

The rumble of a loud engine breaks my shitty but somewhat effective self-reassurance motto and I open my eyes to see a black and red sports car going 60 km/h in a 30 zone, effectively getting mine and everyone else's attention.

I watched in horror for the second time today as this time it stopped right in front of the bus stop. No, no, no, no.

No.

Please no.

He rolls down the passenger window with that ridiculous hair and a shit-eating grin, as he nods towards the seat, revving his engine.

I look away, pretending he's not looking directly at me and that I don't live with the guy, which I immediately regretted when he beeped the fucking horn.

What did I do to deserve this humiliation?

I hastily put my head down as he beeped it again, giving up and rushing towards his insufferable car, getting into the passenger seat and slumping in my seat to keep my head down low.

"What is wrong with you? What are you even doing here?" I hiss, my glaring up at him from my awkward, folded position.

He laughs, and when I hear the sound of a photo being taken in the split second I looked away to readjust my bag, I sit up straight, watching him continue speeding as he stuffs his phone into his pocket.

"Are. You. Trying. To. Kill. Me?!" I ask, my voice little less than a screech as I slap his arm with each word.

"Ow, ow, I just came to pick my roomie up! I sensed you needed a ride, and this is the thanks I get?" he asks, that smirk I have come to hate returning to grace his features.

I glare at him, but a small, sleep-deprived part of my brain is distracted by his appearance. A tight black tee adorning his built figure, his biceps are on display as he drives with one hand, the other resting on the gear shift. The air from his rolled down window is ruffling his hair this way and that, and I find myself wanting to run my hands through the raven strands, just as I had when I washed his hair that one time...

"Wait- how the fuck did you know I didn't have a ride?" I ask incredulously, my reaction time clearly delayed but here nonetheless.

I narrow my eyes as he hesitates before he answers, "I just knew, ok? It's not like it’s astrodynamics, not that I can't figure that out too."

"Kuroo, what the hell is astrodynamics? Are you like, spying on me or something?" I ask, pretending to look out the window so as to not get distracted by his appearance once more.

"What do you common folk call it? Rocket science?" He says, once again exceeding the speed limit.

"If I'm a commoner, does that make you a peasant? Also, stop going so fast, I feel sick and I do not feel like dying today."

He rolls his eyes in response as he slows down by a smidgen, the speed meter barely even moving. "Seriously, you may have no consideration for yourself, but I still have a lot of things to achieve with my damn life so slow the fuck down." My words finally reach the rational part in him and he slows down considerably, now going within the speed limit.

Taking a deep breath, I rest my elbow on my door and look out the window, my mind flooding with thoughts about Kuroo's reckless driving and how it can all go sour with one delayed reaction.

Before I know it, we're rolling up to our apartment building, driving into his private garage only the penthouse owners get to use.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, filling the silence in the car.

"It's ok. I just... I want you to be safe. I know its hard, but... just try," I say quietly, unable to look at him.

"That's what he said," he says hastily before rushing out of the car before I can hit him.

Getting out of the vehicle myself, I send a murderous look his way and run after his retreating form.

A small part of me is grateful that he's acting like his usual unbearable self again, but the rest of me is just mad at his relentless sex jokes.

He hits the elevator button before I can get there and I watch the doors close, his smirk practically shining through the crack of the closing doors. I jam my foot in the middle at the last possible second, and smile victoriously as I get into the metal box and slap his arm once again.

"Ooh, do it harder," he practically moans, and my eyes just about pop out of their sockets in embarrassment as my face flushes a deep red.

"Oh shut up," I mutter, turning around and waiting patiently for the doors to open on the top floor. I hear him snicker and then the sound of a photo being taken, turning around sharply. I yell in defiance and throw my bag on the floor as I jump onto him in an attempt to grab his phone out of his hand and delete the probably unflattering photo.

I straddle his back and reach for the phone he easily holds out of my reach. Leaning across his shoulder in a feeble attempt to reach it, my feet are hooked around his chest and my other hand is using his shoulder as a brace. He's laughing hard at this point, and I'm screaming at him to give me the damn phone. Neither of us notice the elevator doors opening nor the small woman standing at the threshold staring at us in shock and amusement.

"Kuroo Tetsuro! You let that poor girl down this instant, young man!"

We both froze at the authoritative voice, slowly turning to look at a small dark haired woman with a straight shoulder length cut and narrow gold eyes that were glaring at the man under me.

"MUM!" He exclaims, setting me down and running to hug and kiss the woman, his mum apparently. "What are you doing here?" I hear him ask as I straighten myself out, fixing my jumper and tucking my hair behind my ears, picking up my bag off the floor and quickly following them out of the elevator.

"What, a mother needs an excuse to come visit her boys? Where's Kenma?" She asks, looking in the elevator again as if to check if she missed him.

"Oh, he's at his own place. Apparently he has a booked in session with this famous gamer today. Did he say he'd be here?" Kuroo asks, letting go of the woman and leaning on the wall.

"No, I didn't tell anyone I was coming to visit. Never mind that, who's this pretty young lady here, hmm?" She asks, raising a perfectly shaped brow as she walks towards me, the click of her heels echoing in the lobby of the penthouse.

I smiled down at her, since she was considerably shorter than even me, and introduced myself. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuroo." I say, bowing.

"Oh no, no, none of that. You can call me mum too, hmm?" She says, gesturing me up from my bow and pulling me down for a tight hug.

"Oh, um, actually, me and Kuroo aren't-"

"We’ll talk more comfortably inside, no? Tetsuro, is your plan to let me stand here all day?” She asks, letting me go and turning around to look at Kuroo.

Kuroo leaps into action, taking his mum's bag and unlocking the door, helping her out of her heels and leading her into the spotless penthouse.

It was all I could do to nod in response, closing the door behind us and walking down into the kitchen to prepare a meal.

It’s crazy how much I don’t know about this guy. He’d never mentioned his mother before, and briefly mentioned that he has a sister, whether older or younger I have no idea. Kenma, however, I know well. The guy was here all the time when I first started living here, but recently I've seen him less and less. Which is a shame, considering we actually got along quite well, with sharing eye rolls and bonding over our mutual love of Minecraft.

I don't notice silent footsteps following me until Kuroo's Mother says "now, why's a beautiful girl like yourself slaving away in the kitchen? Does that boy make u do all the cooking and cleaning like some mid-century housewife?"

I poke my head out of the fridge, smiling at her fair assumptions, "no, no, it's not like that at all. I actually-"

"Uh, mum! You know I'm incompetent with this stuff. This place would be a mess if she wasn't here to run things! Plus, she loves to cook and finds cleaning therapeutic. Hey, her words not mine," Kuroo quickly jumps in, putting his hands up defensively when she looks at him with a raised brow.

Looks like he doesn't want his mother to know of our little arrangement.

"Right. He's just so hopeless, I can't trust him to do anything," I add on, sending her a smile as I prepare the fish he likes.

"You're making grilled mackerel for dinner?! Oh that's gonna hit the fu- the fun spot," he says, saving himself at the last second.

I hold back a snort as I take out a pan, "open the window, fish boy. It's about to stink here and I can't be bothered with Mrs. Suzuki coming all the way upstairs just to complain about the fish smell, and then complaining that she had to come up here in the first place. God, I hope she isn't sitting on the balcony today," I ramble, trying to see her balcony from outside the window, but fail because of the private location.

Damn these amazing architects.

I hear his mum chuckle at my rambling as she begins to take out ingredients for a salad. "Oh, you don't have to help, please sit and make yourself comfortable," I say, moving towards her to take the lettuce out of her hands.

"No, no, I'd like to pitch in. Now what kind of mother-in-law would I be to let you do everything yourself?" She asks, holding the lettuce away from me and walking over to the sink.

I stare at the back of her head, a flush creeping up my neck, "m-mother-in-law?!" I ask incredulously, glancing over at Kuroo who looked suspiciously... Smug. I look away quickly when he meets my eyes, and I hastily hyper-focus on the fish in front of me, placing it on the heated pan, causing sizzling and popping to fill the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry darling, I don't mean to be overbearing. Tetsuro introduced you as his girlfriend, so I thought things were getting serious since he actually allowed us to meet one another. You see, he’s never introduced me to a girl before, so you can imagine my excitement. I can stop if you're uncomfortable-"

I cut her off, feeling even more embarrassed as I realise the role I am to play in Kuroo's life when his mother is around. I mean, it makes sense, he can't exactly just admit he took a random girl into his house.

"I, um, no really it's fine, I understand" I say, my voice small as I flip the fish.

She lets out a delighted laugh and pulls me down into a hug once more. The smile on my face is genuine as my embarrassment melts away, the bright smile of this woman comforting me.

"So, how did you guys meet?" She asks, chopping up the ingredients for her salad on the bench while I'm at the stove, Kuroo leaning on his elbows on the bench.

"At uni," I answer at the same time as Kuroo states, "at a party."

We both look at each other with wide eyes, and I clear my throat to clarify, "at a uni party. A classmate of ours hosted one and we met each other there."

"I see, so the old boozed up one night stand turned into quite a domestic relationship hmm?" she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows at Kuroo.

"What? No, no, I would never! A one night stand? Booze? Please, what kind of man do you take me for?" Kuroo complains, looking offended.

I turn around towards the stove and roll my eyes. I've heard the rumours around campus, practically every girl in my lecture hall can testify to at least making out with the man. He really puts up a façade for his mum.

I hear the doorbell ring, and quickly take the fish off the stove to go answer it as Kuroo bickers with his mother about how innocent he really is.

"Hello? Who is it?" I ask, pressing the buzzer.

"Uh, hello? Is this Tetsu's place?" A deep voice answers. I look at the camera, seeing Kenma and a bunch of men about Kuroo's age looking confused. The one who answered is a guy with a blond mohawk and piercings adorning both ears.

"Yes, just give me a second," I reply. "Kuroo, I think Kenma and the rest of your friends are here? Should I let 'em up?" I shout out.

"Yeah let 'em in," he calls back. I press another button, letting them into the lobby.

I need to make more food.

Quickly taking out my frozen dumplings I stocked up for emergency dinners for days I couldn't be bothered to make anything better, I whip up a quick sauce, thinking I could split the fish and put it in the middle of the table so everyone can take their share.

"I do apologise darling, I let my Kenma know that I came to visit and he must have told the boys. I think they've all come to see me," Kuroo's mum confesses.

"You must be a very loved woman if they came all this way to see you. And it's no worries really, I'm always prepared for guests," I say, putting her at ease.

She beams at me as the door is banged loudly.

Kuroo mutters something about “rude assholes'' as he goes to open the door, a group of tall men making their way through the threshold.

"Hiya cap'ain," the mohawk guy says, patting Kuroo on the back. A tall, light brown haired man was next to greet him, then proceeded to exclaim "MUMMA KOZUME!!" and practically jumped onto the poor woman.

Wait, did he just say Kozume? Isn't Kenma's surname Kozume?

"Hey mum," Kenma greets, kneeling down to hug Kuroo's mum.

Who's mum is this lady?! I swear to god I'm going to go crazy.

"Hello hello everyone," A massive grey haired guy says, kissing Kuroo's mum on the cheek and hugging Kuroo.

The last guy to greet them is a tan guy with a buzz cut, and he does the same as his friend before.

"So Kuroo, when di'ja get yourself a girl, huh?" The grey haired guy asks, looking offended that he didn't know before now.

I raise my eyebrows as Kuroo just smiles guiltily. He introduces me to his friends and I wave hello, as they all begin to introduce themselves.

The grey haired guy says his name is Lev and that he's half Russian. A weird detail to include but interesting I guess.

The light brown haired man introduces himself as Yaku, and says that he was Kuroo's senpai back in high school.

"Yeah a demon senpai," Kuroo mutters in reply. My smile quickly turns into a grimace as Yaku jumps on him and they both start brawling on the floor, making a loud ruckus. A loud thumping can be heard from downstairs as Mrs. Suzuki starts to lose her mind and continues to bang the handle of her broom to her ceiling.

"Ugh, you morons upset Mrs. Suzuki! She's going to talk my ear off next time I see her..." I complain, grabbing a cushion and throwing it at the boys.

They flinch at my anger and quickly get up, muttering a quick apology. My glare softens as mohawk introduces himself as Yamamoto, and the tan guy says his name is Kai whilst vigorously shaking my hand.

"It's very nice meeting all of you. Dinner will be ready in a bit so please just make yourselves comfortable," I announce, making my way back into the kitchen.

The boys, all sporting grins, make their way to the living room and sit on the couches, man-spreading and slouching all over the place, one person taking up the usual spot for two.

I sigh, focusing on the dumplings in front of me.

I stiffen as I feel large hands on my waist, and a presence behind me. Visibly relaxing once I realise it's Kuroo, I turn around, his hands still resting on my hips, and his face nestled in the crook of my neck.

"Please just go along with it. We have to act like a couple if they're going to believe us," he mutters, his hot breath causing shivers to run up my spine.

I simply nod, instinctively placing my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair, something I've wanted to do since that day.

He groans into my neck, and I find myself holding my breath as I continue my hand movements.

"OI LOVEBIRDS! MUM SAYS THE DUMPLINGS ARE GONNA FUCKIN' STICK! Ow! Oh, sorry," I snatched my hands back from Kuroo, pushing his chest, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

What the fuck am I doing?!

I turn around back to the stove, mixing the dumplings in the boiling water as my thoughts race.

That felt too real, too much like a real relationship.

And way too addicting, apparently, since I already miss his close proximity.

The warmth on my waist disappears as I hear Kuroo running back into the living room.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON, THE DUMPLINGS ARE FINE!" I hear him scream, and then a loud thud as he presumably tackles whoever yelled at us to the ground.

I sigh as I hear Mrs. Suzuki's muffled thuds from downstairs in record time.

"You know I'm going to have to make Mrs. Suzuki some kind of apology cake because you boys can't sit down and act like adults," I complained, my arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on my face.

Lev and Yamamoto are on the floor playing some kind of Connect 4 game I've never seen before, while Kai looks to be having a deep conversation with Kuroo's mum, who is perched on the single arm chair like the queen she is.

Kenma is hogging the tv playing some kind of video game on Kuroo's ps5 (which I've hogged on more than one occasion), and Kuroo on the other hand has Yaku in a headlock.

He immediately lets go and apologises, and so does Yaku, who even bows in his regret.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at his mum, who just laughs, and I make my way back into the kitchen, setting food on the table and calling them in to eat.

After dinner, I find myself showered in compliments and not a bite of dinner leftover for tomorrow's lunch. Damn I'm good.

I served up cake I had already prepared from earlier along with fruits I washed and set on plates, and watched as that was eaten and finished before I even sat down. Kuroo's mum scolded the boys for poor manners, and they all apologised. Well, all except Kuroo, who just wiggled his pierced brows and winked at me.

I sit down on the floor next to the couch, since it was all occupied, and hear a dissatisfied sound coming from Kuroo's mum.

"Now, now, sweetheart. You don't have to be shy around me, just go on and take your usual seat next to Tetsuro," she says, nudging her head in Kuroo's direction, where the only vacant spot was literally his lap.

I look at her with wide eyes, even Kuroo seems taken aback by her suggestion, and all the boys are immaturely ‘oohing’ loudly as they laugh and make fun of us.

Kuroo makes a gesture for me to come next to him, so I hold back my heavy sigh, try my best to hide the flush on my face, and walk towards him, awkwardly perching on his knee.

He chuckles as he grabs my waist and pulls me flush towards his chest, my butt in the corner of the couch and my legs resting diagonally over his, so that my head is directly in the crook of his neck.

I hate to say it, but this is actually really damn comfortable.

Conversation has started up again, but it becomes secondary to the beat of his heart right under my ear, and my eyes start to get heavy as his scent and warmth lull me to a comfort that is beyond being awake and alert.

---

Kuroo's POV

"What a cute girl she is, Tetsu. I'm so glad you've found her. And now that you've got her, you better. Not. Let. Go." She says, slapping me on the arm with each word of her last sentence.

What is it with women and slapping me?

"Ok, ok, I know mum, I won't stuff this up. I promise," I respond, smiling at her.

"Ok, well, I'm staying over at Kenma's house. Ah, no objections. You've already got your hands full, and I don't want to be in the way of young love. Plus, I'd rather listen to Kenma's midnight streams than you two in the middle of the night," she says, not accepting my objections and giving me a knowing look. My face warms to what she's insinuating, and I mutter a quick, "it's not like that," as I duck my head into Y/n's shoulder.

By this time the boys have all left, Kenma's downstairs waiting in his car for his mum to come, but she insisted on staying back for a few minutes to talk to me.

Y/n fell asleep a while ago now, still nestled on my lap, her head on my shoulder and her figure keeping me warm.

"I know exactly how it is, my darling. I've seen how you two act, pretending to be in a relationship just so we don't ask any uncomfortable questions. I won't meddle in your life, I never did, Tetsuro. But I will give you advice I expect you to consider. Don't let her go. Neither of you were pretending about your feelings towards each other, let me tell you that much." She says, knowingly looking at me.

I look up in alarm, which quickly morphs into a nervous laugh. She's good, I'll give her that much.

But, can Y/n really mirror my feelings?

"Ok darling, better not leave Kenma waiting any longer. I'll visit again tomorrow, or you can come over to Kenma's, whichever you prefer as long as she comes along too. I want to get to know my future daughter-in-law better!!"

With that, the woman who took me in and treated me like her own left my home.

I look down at my roommate, taking in the way her lashes are long enough to brush against her face, the way her brows are just a tad bit asymmetrical, the stroke of her nose and the bend of her cupid's bow.

I can't help but bring my hand up to caress the side of her face, content to stay here forever.

Mum would've loved her.

This thought broke the dam that held back my tears since middle school, and as they fell down my face I couldn't help but think of my own mother, coming in and hugging her, making her famous pie that I can't remember the taste of anymore. A sob racks my figure and I all of a sudden find a pair of e/c eyes staring up at me, my tears having dampened some parts of her face.

Wordlessly, she straightens herself and wraps her arms around my neck, running her fingers through the back of my head, stroking down towards my nape and up again. I cry into her shoulder, tears that I've bottled up, emotions I've ignored because I've had my dad, my grandparents and the Kozume's. Later, I even had the team, and they all followed me to the racing gig, a place where I can express my emotions through the reckless driving that could claim my life any second. I should have been grateful. Instead, the pain of her absence never ceased.

I clutch the back of her sweatshirt as I cry and cry and cry, eventually tiring myself out and running out of tears.

With dry sobs still racking my body every few minutes, she finally leans back, cupping my face in her gentle hands.

"What's the matter, Kuroo?" She whispers, looking up at me with tears shining in her own eyes. "You can tell me anything, or you can say nothing at all. Either way, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," she says, touching her forehead to mine and closing her eyes. She stays here for a moment before moving to get up and drag me up too.

"Come on, let's get you into your pjs and into bed. It's getting late."

---

Your POV

Now in his usual shorts and singlet, I drag him to his massive bed, opening the neatly made bed and gently sit him down.

His hazel eyes follow me as I go to close the curtains, his lashes still wet from the countless tears he shed, his body still hiccupping with dry sobs.

Once I've put his blankets around him, I go to leave, muttering a goodnight as I leave.

"Y/n," I hear before I close the door. I peek my head in, "please stay."

Without a pause to think about his request, and already in my own pyjamas, I go next to him and crawl into his open arm as if I've been doing it every night, snuggling into his shoulder once more and wrapping my arm around his chest.

After a few moments of silence, he begins to speak in a raspy tone, "she's not my real mum. She's Kenma's mum, and I've... I've called her mum since I was around 7," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I moved in with my dad and grandparents next door to the Kozumes when I was 6. I was nervous and shy back then. You wouldn't even recognise me because of the 180 turn my personality's taken. Kenma was even more social than I was. He was my first friend, and when I got him into volleyball and we met Coach Nekomata. That man inspired me to be the man I am today, and was the main reason why I joined the volleyball team in high school, and made friends with the guys. He did what my mum should've, supported me and gave me the confidence to live my life," he says, his voice cracking with the last word. I hug him tighter, knowing not to say anything as of yet.

"I just wish... I wish she didn't go. I wish she could've met you, Y/n. She would've loved you even more than Kenma's mum does," he confesses with a chuckle, sniffling and turning towards me to look me in the eyes.

"She would've seen the way I was around you. The different man I become. You make me a better person, Y/n. I find myself wanting to be better for you. I could never thank you enough for that. Please, never leave. Just stay with me, and I'll always be here for you," he says, repeating the same words I said to him earlier.

I can't help the smile from taking over my features and I lean in to kiss his nose, his eyes, his cheeks and finally I press my lips against his, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

"I will, Kuroo Tetsuro. I'll always stay with you."

A/n: So, I don't actually know if his mum passed away or if she left them, so I kind of just,, did both ?

Taglist: @3daa & @itsgiorgiaz

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

#racer!kuroo #haikyuu x reader #haikyufics #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #haikyuu!!#haikyu imagines #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsurou #haikyu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu au #kuroo angst #kuroo comfort #kuroo fluff #kuroo au

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