#first one IS a reference to that one dolphin image btw

[mayamelodyegg]

secret santas

[hey-a-wild-jojo-simp]

Okay, college professor headcanons for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures

Included characters: Dio (Part three, not vampire, fairly out of character, so sorry about that), Jonathan, Avdol, Joseph, Caesar, Polnareff with a little bit of Iggy, Kakyoin, Jotaro, and a bonus of Okuyasu, Josuke, and Koichi teaching a self-defense class to their peers (Not college profs)

Dio

He is part three in this btw, and he isn’t a vampire, I was thinking about the whole night class thing and deadass forgot he was a vampire

He teaches a night class

He teaches a criminal forensics class

No matter how many students he has at any given time, he knows them all by first and last name

He absolutely allows cussing in his class and takes full advantage of this rule

He will without a doubt notice attitude shifts in his students and will be fairly straightforward about it in his office after asking them to stay for a while after class or after they’re done with classes for the day to talk to them about it

He’s the cool professor

He only refers to students by their last name if he’s mad at them

He has his students skip titles and just call him Dio

He has helped students remove smell from their cars after someone left food in it and they didn’t know and it ended up rotting, or if they had stoner friends they had to pick up

It doesn’t matter if they aren’t in his class he’ll help them

He takes time out of his night/morning to help his students

He shows up about 5 or so hours before school starts and allows students who live in noisy ares to come in to sleep, he sets up pillows and everything

It doesn’t matter if he isn’t their first class he still lets them come in

Basically as far from canon Dio as you can get, just with appearance and accent, along with a few tendencies to snap at his students

He brings in meals on exam days because he knows students skip meals

Jonathan

You’ll literally never get lighter homework in any other class (Besides maybe Joseph)

He doesn’t allow cussing, he won’t report you for it. but will scold you, which normally gets anyone to stop, because no one wants to upset this man, he’s too nice to his students

He will report his students for any form of slurs, and that is the only time he will get angry unless one student is actively attacking another verbally or physically

He has stepped in front of a student in the parking lot who was being mugged and just knocked the mugger on their ass

Constantly jokingly butting heads with the criminal forensics teacher, sometimes gets heated between the two

They’re step siblings

Very few students know this

He’s a ELA (English language arts) teacher

MASSIVE golden retriever vibes, super energetic, loves his students, is the kind of man who would take one of his student’s secrets to the grave (As long as it wasn’t something like self harm or being a victim of a crime)

An absolute lumbering machine of a man, he seems imposing at first, until he breaks out into a smile and laying down the few ground rules, telling his students to feel free to talk to him about anything bugging them

Much like his brother, he brings in meals on exam days

He will fall, no if about it, it’s an inevitable thing, all of his students will see it at some point

The room normally erupts into chaos of running around and picking up his papers and freaking out about whether or not he’s okay until he looks up and is just an absolute blushing mess and he’s laughing

After the first time people still help pick up papers but it isn’t as chaotic

This man is so understanding about late work

He encouraged an enby (Born female) to get their hair cut to a mullet and made a 360 video for them to show to their barber

Absolutely would understand anything his students were going through or would at least try his best

He will hug his students if they’re having a rough time  

Can be counted on to extend due dates unreasonable amounts for large projects

Avdol

Stickler about late work

He does love his students, but for every 3 school days something is late, a point gets marked off

Unless you have good reason

Is a recreational class on astrology and other forms of psychic readings (I have no doubt that’s a class, my sister almost took a class on the history of James Bond)

He also brings in tea for his students daily

Will talk to his students if he sees them in public

Widely loved by students

Amazingly attuned with his students

Not many other details that stand out about him

Joseph

He’s that one guy that no one is really sure what he teaches

The presentations from student projects end up being the kinds that end up being iconic(?) images like the “How I lost my virginity to a mint cookie” thing, because no one knows what the presentations are supposed to be on

It’s harder to fail than it is to pass, seeing as if you forget to turn something in you have to remind him to mark it as missing, otherwise it just sits as not turned in, not as late, so it won’t affect your grade

He shows a lot of movies in class

Brought in a gaming system once and held a tourney amongst the students in all of his classes

There isn’t a single student who doesn’t like him

Caesar 

Cooking class

Lets his students eat what they cook after the taste test for grading

Is often brought flowers by his students after they inevitably find out his love for the colorful displays

Let’s be quite honest, we know Joseph is the one that exposes this

The two of them have a running joke of bringing each other jokingly “romantic” gifts as a show of their friendship

He was at first quite uncomfortable with the students bringing him flowers as it is generally quite a, romantic I could say, gesture (Funny lil’ side note, I was a weird child, apparently I thought as like, a 4 yr old I would have multiple husbands, and this guy that’s like, 7 or so years older than me was one of them, apparently planned to be the last???? I dunno lmao, but he brought me flowers because it’s now a running joke and we’re now sorta friends, anyways, he brought me flowers when I was 9, at least I think I was 9, but his girlfriend got mad???? Like hun, I'm not going to steal your man) until he started getting notes in them (Will post those in a later post)

He blushes very heavily upon receiving the flowers, any blush at all is extremely prevalent and he gets flustered and very happy upon receiving the flowers, his students have likened him to a blushing schoolboy

Has a fondness for paintings of nature, which have also been brought in as gifts by students, and they all get hung on his wall, which is always a great surprise to the students that paint them.

Polnareff

He teaches French

He brings in pastries

Very comedic

I don’t really know what else besides he's just a friend more so than a teacher to all of his students

He definitely brings in Iggy frequently, though he makes sure to keep the coffee gum accessible to himself, but not where Iggy could easily get to it

All of his students love Iggy

Iggy will curl up in students’ laps if he likes them enough

Kakyoin

He teaches a history of gaming

Tournies in his class

He’s a bruh dud, just a friend more so than he is a teacher

Doesn’t give two fucks about late work policy cause there is rarely ever any late work from his students

I dunno, his students bring him a bunch of cherry stuff lol, a mini bean bag that looks like a cherry, cherry pastries, cherries grown by the students, maraschino cherries, even a hat that looked like a cherry

Jotaro (Part 4 Jotaro)

Marine biology, duh

An absolute hardass

Half points for late work unless you have a damn good excuse

A student brought him a dolphin stuffed animal once, and Star Platinum broke out in happy tears (No stand using students) while Jotaro kept his composure, although he did crack a smile

Deadass takes students on aquarium trips I shit you not

Secretly loves all of his students

Most of his students love him

Bonus

Okuyasu, Josuke, Koichi, all canon age of part 4, not college profs

Self-defense classes

Open to any gender

Very kind but firm

Okuyasu either makes people laugh or cry or confused

Koichi normally comforts the people who end up crying

Josuke heals everyone up after sparring matches and is also a sparring partner to many

Tomoko may pop in every so often for some harassment tips to the participants  

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

--

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

--

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

--

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[thedragonsexcalendar]

The Great Re-Branding (Logo) of 2019

Stupid Font

Back in 2015, when the first edition of the Dragon Sex Calendar (DSC) was released—I had designed the whole thing with zero anticipation of longevity. The calendar was simply a silly concept, yet one that might have a chance of succeeding, due to its stupidity alone. So I hired artists to paint gorgeous images of dragons banging, designed the calendar, built an accompanying Word Press website modeled after a Harry’s Razor’s website (LoL). I did all of this just to prove to myself that I could do it. Nike status. It was one of those ideas that if I didn’t follow through on I’d beat my self up for eternity about. Just like not telling that special someone you loved them, or not being able to apologize for something wicked you said to someone in your youth and you have no way of finding them now to properly apologize. I never anticipated that the 2015 Dragon Sex Calendar would sell out—elevated to cult status thanks to a post on Reddit in a subreddit called r/thisiswhyimbroke (thanks Adam at thisiswhyimbroke.com, BTW). So, all this to say that in that hustle and bustle of creating the first DSC I went with one of the first fonts I found on dafont.com that I felt worked. Times have changed. And I hate my current font. Sorry, "Motion Picture" font! I will always appreciate you.

Branding Crisis

Ever since the aftermath of the success of the Dragon Sex Calendar, I’ve had a branding crisis. I’ve been battling between two different "company” personas. How do I present myself? How seriously do I take myself? Do I position the calendar as a super-serious piece of art and market it that way? Or position it as a silly product, filled with subversive humor—marketing it under the guise of “seriousness,” (and everyone is in on the joke). These types of questions have had a big impact on the overall design over the years—everything from the printed calendar itself to the website, and especially the logo. The results have been a weird hodgepodge of both ideas. A deformed hybrid. This is what the homepage looked like back in 2015. Quite charming actually.

Sad Interlude

Short interlude. I’ve had a rough 2019. My wife and I miscarried twice. In May of this year, my brother Philip died in a car accident. He left behind a pregnant fiancée, who gave birth to my nephew Sullivan a month ago (he’s the spitting image of his dad BTW and I’m going to spoil the fuck out of him). The grief around the loss of my brother and our miscarriages has drained me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It’s impacted my relationship with everyone in my life. I’m quicker to anger than before. Things stress me out easier. I’ve had trouble focusing. But, I’m getting better. I’m aware of my grief and my “new normal” and am trying to forgive myself for setbacks but also work harder on loving those around me. All this to say I haven’t able to focus on the calendar or put much energy into it at all. For the last few years, and during all the heartache this year, I’ve known that I’ve needed to fully dive into the Dragon Sex Calendar as a brand. I’ve been ignoring it and taking it for granted. And in a way, refocusing on it has been a bit healing for me. It’s a place to put all this energy. And the first step in diving back in has been to get some professional help.

Re-Branding

Yes, I’m seeing a therapist but I’m talking about a BRANDING therapist. Enter Seafoam Media out of St. Louis. One last thing—my brother left me some money when he died. His best man speech at my wedding he spoke about how proud he was of me, at the man I’d become, and how I’d always followed my dreams, no matter how stupid. This was a direct reference to the Dragon Sex Calendar. The only way I could have ever afforded to work with a creative agency was through his grace. Thank you, Philip. I love you.

I’ve met with the agency, Seafoam Media, a few times now—most recently this last month. I a 4-hour brainstorming session with their team of experts; the social media person was there, along with the google analytics person, the copywriter, and mega supervisor who knows everything. They gave me some insanely solid advice. I’ll go into that in another post. Needless to say, the Lil’ coal in my heart was ignited by the kindling of creativity. (Barf-worthy analogy).

I’ve been making updates to the website over the last month. Which, if you’re a regular visitor you’ve probably noticed. This will continue to be updated as I come up with more and more ways to optimize and bring you guys value. Because that’s the whole point. To build a community of people who love this stupid-ass calendar and return time and again to look at my content. I can’t wait to engage with you people.

via GIPHY

On to the crux of the branding crisis. In many ways, the logo IS the product. It IS the company. "It is known." (said like Ygritte from GoT).

A good logo adds an extreme amount of value. Knowing this and not doing anything about it is something I’ve been struggling with for 5 years. And it’s finally time for a change. So this font is what I’ve been using since 2015. I want to take this “logo,” wood-burn it into a baseball bat, wrap the baseball bat with barbed-wire, and pay someone to shove the barb-wire-wrapped baseball bat up my ass 3X.

Although I’m an Art Director by day, I’m shitty at logo design. Super shitty. And tbh, sometimes the last thing on earth I want to do when I get home from designing things all day is to do more design work. So….I’ve hired an amazing agency to design a new logo for the Dragon Sex Calendar. Check out their website https://coldcastlestudios.com. This shit is amazing. Here are some samples of their logos:

My direction to them in this process was literally, "We realize how stupid the product is but we're positioning ourselves as if we take ourselves completely seriously.” With that in mind, here is a sneak peek, guys, of the preliminary look and feel of the logo. I put a bunch of ridiculous watermarks over the logo for some reason. The next round is going to include a design with a frame around the logo, a la the World of Warcraft logo—to see if that looks good and serves the logo.

I simply cannot fucking wait to reveal it to all of you. I will finally have a brand. This brand will live across all print and social media. It’s the next chapter in my company. And I couldn’t be more excited. This logo will provide the base for future, ridiculous calendars, pins, coloring books, electric cars, personal spacecraft, and dolphin tattoos. Let me know what you think of the preliminary design in the comments below. I love you all!

[tardisgirlepic]

Ch. 2: “The Eaters of Light” Analysis Doctor Who S10.10: The Doctor Is a Prisoner, Stripes, Duplication, Rescue

<- Read the previous chapter

Siblings Theme

“The Eaters of Light” opening shows first a young girl, and then almost immediately we see her older brother.  Siblings are a theme with a major reference last week pointing to siblings, and this week we have 2 more pairs of siblings. 

However, the main reference to siblings comes from one the children to be rescued, whom we examined in Chapter 18 Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who.  In the Season 8 episode “In the Forest of the Night,” Maebh’s older sister, Annabel, appears at the end, seemingly transforming from a bush to a girl.

This would appear to point to the importance of siblings coming up in the finale or Christmas special.

Judy & Her Brother, Kar & Ban

In “The Eaters of Light,” young Judy goes to the ancient Pictish stones to listen to the music. She has a sense of fearlessness about the potential ghosts getting her because it’s the music that is important to her.  Her brother makes multiple attempts to pull her away, fearing the ghosts and getting in trouble if something happens. 

At the end, we see her come back to the stones alone to listen to the music.

In comparison, we see another pair of siblings: Kar and her brother Ban.  Kar, while fearful of the Eater of Light, is the one near the beginning of the episode facing the most danger of any of the Picts, including her brother.  As gatekeeper, she has to face the beast to keep it from getting loose and devouring everyone, but things didn’t quite go that way.  She let it through to destroy the Roman army, whom she thought was more dangerous.  However, to protect the Picts, she doomed her whole world.

Kar’s actions mirror Bill’s since Bill let the Monks in to save the Doctor.  Kar is also a mirror of the Doctor, and this also seems to be foreshadowing the Doctor dooming the world by letting Missy loose.

At the end of the episode, Kar faces her beast and is more like Judy, while Ban is more like Judy’s brother in that he didn’t go into the gateway.

Nardole’s, Bill’s & Sibling’s Stripes

Since the very 1st Doctor, stripes and plaids (tartans) have been used in some of the Doctor’s outfits, as well as his companions’. 

Stripes are a reference to the English idiom “show one’s stripes” or “show one’s true stripes.”  A variant of it is “to show one’s true colors.” It means revealing one’s true beliefs, desires, character, or personality. 

The patterns give us some information about integrations and sexuality.  Time Lord integrations, for example, mean they are both male and female at the same time.  Stripes going one way are homosexual while plaids, which go both ways, are bisexual.

Nardole

Nardole wears a lot of plaid, although at the beginning of “The Eaters of Light,” he is wearing something odd: a bathrobe.  This is a reference to Amy wearing her nightclothes while on Starship UK in “The Beast Below,” where everyone is dreaming. This calls attention to the resolution coming for the Star Whale.

Anyway, shown below is Nardole in his horizontal-striped hat (yellow arrow), vertical-striped bathrobe (cyan arrow), and plaid pants (white arrow).

These stripe patterns are really interesting.  I don’t remember seeing something like this before.  We know Nardole is made of different parts, as he’s part cyborg. His lungs are human while he isn’t. The 3 patterns suggest to me that his head is one part with horizontal stripes.  His body represents a different part with vertical stripes.  His legs represent something else and are integrated.

Also, it’s possible this can suggest that his head, for example, is male, his body female, and his legs are one of each or come from an integrated being.

When the Doctor is in the rift and comes out, we see that Nardole has tattoos on his face.  He’s blending in, as he says.  His changes represent an integration.  Check out his clothes below, which also suggest an integration.  

Now, he truly looks like a patchwork person.  He represents the face of the unactualized Doctor, who has taken on more integrations.

Nardole’s hat (yellow arrow) hasn’t changed.  It’s still horizontally striped.  However, he’s not wearing his bathrobe.  Instead, he’s wearing a solid shirt with an historical kilt, which I believe is called a “great kilt.”  (I’m only aware of them because of the Outlander TV series.  Please let me know if there is some other name for it.)  The plaid on his chest is running diagonally (green arrow), while the knee-length skirt part (white arrow) is worn normally.  He has a different plaid for pants, like knickers with solid socks.  But he has horizontal-striped shoes (yellow arrow).

It looks like he closed his eyes and pulled whatever out of the closet, but it really shows that he’s made of different parts.

Bill

In contrast, Bill has stripes only going one way with curves.  Sometimes, she wears vertical stripes.

Siblings

The siblings at the beginning of “The Eaters of Light” wear plaid, shown below.  This suggests they are both integrated beings (both male and female).  Integrated beings in DW are the ones who are more likely to be turned into a cyborg or some type of hybrid.  In fact, Judy also has fasteners (white arrow) like Nardole does.  Her brother has red and blue plaid, which may indicate he is 2 beings in 2 different universes or time streams.  We’ll examine another example of Judy’s mirror in another time stream in a bit.

Are Missy & the Doctor Siblings?

With siblings a theme, I have little doubt that siblings have to be a part of the rescue, as we’ve seen with Annabel.  Maebh was a mirror of young River, so that suggests that it’s River’s sister who gets rescued.  And Baby Melody Pond wasn’t just one being, as we examined in the subtext.

Right now, it seems the Doctor might be trying to get his wings and rescue Missy, which could also be an analogy to River rescuing the Doctor. 

It’s clear that Missy is mirroring the Doctor.  It may be that Missy represents the Doctor’s duplicate, so we have a real Doctor and an imposter.  It could also be that Missy represents the Doctor’s own beast that he has to kill. Could she be the Doctor and the Doctor the Master?  That’s how DW is mirroring a lot of what has been going on.  In a false universe that has to die, it’s not out of the question.

The subtext shows that things are going backwards, too, so we’ll have to wait to see what the subtext says in the upcoming episode, “World Enough and Time.”

One other thing is that Missy’s tears did seem genuine in this episode.  Once again, though, she was mirroring the Doctor with the music, when he and River in THORS were at the Singing Towers of Darillium.

The Rescue

There are several indications that the rescue is near.  We’ve already seen a reference to “The Beast Below.”  However, there are other signs.

The Horse Is Back

There’s a really tiny horse (red arrow) in the bookcase on the other side of the TARDIS, so letting Missy out is part of the rescue plan.  It’s obviously going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

This really is an odd shot in the camera’s placement being far away and below Nardole and the Doctor. That gives some power to them. Also odd is the Doctor’s and Nardole’s placement in relation to each other.  Nardole represents the child Doctor, which we looked at a long time ago, although we’ve also looked at many other mirrors, too.  He’s 237 years old, BTW.  That figure came up in TPEW as a statistic of the Doctor’s sonic glasses.

The TARDIS on the Rock, the Legend of the Blue Box & the Rescue

After Judy and her brother leave the Pictish stone temple, the camera pans to the TARDIS carved into the rock, shown below.  This is very similar to 2 other occurrences of the blue box being idolized: “The End of Time” and “The Fires of Pompeii.”

“The End of Time,” Part 1 “The End of Time” is John Simm’s Master’s last appearance.  In the Chapter 18 of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who, we examined the Legend of the Blue Box as told to Donna Noble’s grandfather by the woman who was hired to be the Doctor’s mother.  In the church they were in, there is a tiny TARDIS (white arrow) in the stained glass window, along with what looks like Jesus with 11 Apostles.  The Doctor’s Mother metaphor wanted to rescue him, so the TARDIS on the rock is a signal that we have come back to this story, along with the Master’s part to play.

“The Fires of Pompeii” But that’s not all. In “The Fires of Pompeii” at the end, after the 10th Doctor and Donna saved Lobus Caecilius and his family, their shrine to the household gods changed from Roman gods to the Doctor, TARDIS, and Donna, in the image below.  

Oops!  The Doctor and Donna are now thought of as gods, so there’s a God complex.  They changed time, which could have rippled through to the Mary Celeste and other things. 

Scientifically, these changes would have created a parallel universe. 

Pictish Beast, River Reference, Crows & the Doctor Is a Prisoner

The creature we see pictured on the Pictish stones is a real symbol.  

According to Wikipedia:

The Pictish Beast (sometimes Pictish Dragon or Pictish Elephant) is an artistic representation of an animal depicted on Pictish symbol stones.

The Pictish Beast is not easily identifiable with any real animal, but resembles a seahorse, especially when depicted upright. Suggestions have included a dolphin, a kelpie (or each uisge), and even the Loch Ness Monster.

Did Loch-less eat a bunch of Roman soldiers at some point?

The Eater of Light should be aquatic, given the Pictish Beast representation, but that is another oddity of the episode.  The Eater of Light, however, does have tentacles similar to a squid.  It’s like a hybrid, and that may be the point.

Anyway, there are mentions of the wind and a labyrinth, regarding the beast. 

(Vitus leads the way with a flaming brand. There is a hissing sound and he stops. They whisper.) VITUS: Shh!

LUCIUS: It's nothing. It's the wind in the rocks. Forward, centurion. Keep going. There are lots of entrances the beast could get through. It's a labyrinth.

River said in THORS that it was never just the wind, so this is a reference to River.  And it’s really interesting that Missy ends up crying because of the music.  Lucius in particular is the Doctor’s mirror.  We’ll examine him more in the next chapter.

Lucius mentions the labyrinth, which is a reference to “The God Complex” and the Minotaur.  Because the Minotaur is a metaphor for the Doctor, which we looked at in the “Extremis” analysis, that makes the Eaters of Light also a metaphor of the Doctor.

“The Eaters of Light” is an interesting name.  We know the Sun has to die, along with this Matrix universe, so he’s fighting a losing battle.  This means people on the outside are trying to save the Doctor.  However, he’s fighting it on the inside, which again is also a metaphor for the internal struggle.

Crows, the Gateway & the Doctor Is a Prisoner

The TARDIS on the Rock is not the only symbol being idolized.  The crow flies over and sits on the rock in the opening of the episode. It says, “Doc-tor! Doc-tor! Doc-tor! Doc-tor!”

Given the crows at the end are remembering Kar fighting in the temporal rift, it suggests the Doctor at the beginning is the one in the temporal rift, as the gatekeeper – the Door metaphor.

Here’s an image below of the Doctor with a pot hanging from a chain.  He actually crosses the path of the chain.  The scene is easier to see if you watch the episode.

That meshes with what we’ve examined before in “Heaven Sent.”  The Sun is a Door, creating the plague of monsters, which actually played out in “The Eaters of Light.”  Of course, plague means duplication, and there are several references to that again in this episode.

The Crow & the Dark Doctor: White & Black Guardians, Key to Time?

One of the Crows sits on a rock when Nardole and the Doctor come by.  It says multiple words, including, “Dark Doctor.”  Since the Doctor is imprisoned, it makes sense that this would be the Dark Doctor.

Before “The Eaters of Light,” I had only seen the first 2 episodes of a season-long arc that might also pertain to the Dark Doctor that started with the 4th Doctor. However, I also found it in some 5th Doctor’s episodes.  I haven’t investigated this more, due to lack of time.  But the arc could also explain what is happening, at least some of the episodes do.

Back in the first season with the 4th Doctor’s companion Romana I, there was a quest given to the Doctor by the White Guardian, regarding the Keys to Time. According to the TARDIS Wikia:

The White Guardian, more accurately called the Guardian of Light in Time (TV: The Stones of Blood), was the anthropomorphic personification of order and good in the same way that his opposite, the Black Guardian, embodied evil and chaos. However, different interfaces of the Guardians held different perspectives, with the Black Guardian later claiming to represent freedom while the White Guardian embodied domination. The Fifth Doctor even criticised him as the lesser of two evils, embodying the letter of the law rather than the spirit. (AUDIO: The Destroyer of Delights)

I’m specifically including the non-canon audio description here because I don’t know enough about the subtext of the Guardians to come to my own conclusions.  The description provides a cautionary note, which I wholeheartedly embrace.

In fact, if this universe has to die but the White Guardian wanted to maintain it for stability, that would be a contradiction.  The Doctor and Master may be operating in the same way here if the Master wants to destroy the false universe, but the Doctor wants to keep it.

Key to Time

Anyway, the quest for the 4th Doctor and Romana is to find the 6 parts of the Key to Time. According to the TARDIS Wikia:

The Key to Time was a powerful and legendary artefact which the Guardians of Time used to maintain the equilibrium of time itself, (TV: The Ribos Operation)

In “The Ribos Operation,” the White Guardian tells the Doctor about the Key.

GUARDIAN: The Key to Time is a perfect cube, which maintains the equilibrium of time itself.

(A holographic image of a spinning cube appears for illustration, then fades away.)

GUARDIAN: It consists of six segments, and these segments are scattered and hidden throughout the cosmos. When they are assembled into the cube, they create a power which is too dangerous for any being to possess.

DOCTOR: Well hidden then, I hope, sir.

GUARDIAN: There are times, Doctor, when the forces within the universe upset the balance to such an extent that it becomes necessary to stop everything.

DOCTOR: Stop everything?

GUARDIAN: For a brief moment only.

DOCTOR: Ah.

GUARDIAN: Until the balance is restored. Such a moment is rapidly approaching. These segments must be traced and returned to me before it is too late, before the Universe is plunged into eternal chaos.

DOCTOR: Eternal chaos?

GUARDIAN: Eternal as you understand the term.

We haven’t heard about the Key that I can remember in nuWho.  However, there are keys around the necks of the Smilers in “The Beast Below.” While we already looked at that symbolism a long time ago, there may be additional symbolism to consider.

Bill, the Doctor, White & Black Guardians, 9th Legion

Bill and the Doctor have the debate at the beginning about what happened to the Roman 9th Legion.  It really is very odd, which gets my suspicion meter going about the subtext. According to the Doctor at least 5000 people died, but, according to Bill, no one died.  Maybe she’s reading alternative history from the changed timeline? Regardless, the oddness turns to a macabre subject of having to check this out.

It’s almost like a game or bet.

The White & Black Guardians & the Game

I bring this up because when I watched the 4th Doctor story “The Stones of Blood,” which has similarities, the White and Black Guardians have a similar game type thing going on.  That was surprising and odd.

In the 5th Doctor story “Enlightenment,” which I also watched (wow, I’ve got to check out titles!), the Black Guardian wants the Doctor’s companion to kill the Doctor. Enlightenment is exactly what we’ve been examining with the Great Work, so it made me really take notice.

We find out that enlightenment gives beings the ability to see all of time.  Then, they can create and destroy as they like.  We’ve examined how the Sun stage is dangerous.  The creation we’ve seen has been with the plague cross, and certainly we’ve seen destruction with solar flares, for example.

Anyway, one of the characters ends up throwing a crystal at the Black Guardian, who erupts in flames and disappears.  However, the White Guardian says while he exists, so does the Black Guardian.  This tells me they are dualistic.  That totally makes sense from what we’ve examined.

Which is probably like the dualistic nature of the Doctor and Master or the Doctor and Missy.  As long as there is no unification, there has to be duality.

Judy’s Red Wellies Refer to Doctor Duplication & a Monster

“The Eaters of Light” opens with young Judy walking near the Pictish stones.  In the image below, she is lying on the ground and listening to the Celtic music.  

Her red wellies are a reference to Jennifer Lucas, who as a child, shown below, got lost on the moors while wearing them.  And that leads into several pieces of foreshadowing, which includes Rory.

This makes Jennifer and Judy mirrors: one dressed in blue plaid and the other in red plaid, suggesting 2 different universes, like in “Hide.”

Jennifer is one of the characters in “The Rebel Flesh” and “The Almost People.”  It’s the 2-part, island castle episode where several people, including the Doctor, end up with duplicates called Gangers, who start to rebel. Also, we find out Amy has a Ganger on the TARDIS while another version is about to give birth.

A solar storm hits the army-run, 22nd century factory, that mines acid.  The surge in power turns the workers' Gangers into self-aware individuals. 

At one point Ganger Jennifer reminisces about her child self while looking at the photo above:

G-JENNIFER: When I was a little girl, I got lost on the moors, wandered off from the picnic. I can still feel how sore my toes got inside my red welly boots. And I imagined another little girl, just like me, in red wellies, and she was Jennifer too. Except she was a strong Jennifer, a tough Jennifer. She'd lead me home. My name is Jennifer Lucas. I am not a factory part. I had toast for my breakfast. I wrote a letter to my mum. And then you arrived. I noticed your eyes right off.

Judy had the spirit and fearlessness of confronting ghosts that Ganger Jennifer didn’t have.  In fact, fear and anger were at the heart of the problems: fear of suddenly becoming human and anger for lack of acceptance.

AMY: Doctor, you said they wouldn't be violent. DOCTOR: But I did say they were scared and angry.

A rebellion breaks out led by the Gangers, especially Jennifer’s, and the Doctor must mediate between them and the original people.  The Doctor, himself, ends up with a Ganger.

However, there’s something more ominous going on in these 2 episodes.  Jennifer ends up with 2 Gangers, and one turns into a monster and kills the 2nd Ganger.  Jennifer, herself, dies of hypothermia, leaving just the monster, which wants revenge for humans thinking of Gangers as disposable people.  The Ganger concept is similar to the throwaway people in “Oxygen.”

And the subtext shows that Rory is a mirror of Jennifer.

Ganger Jennifer has a hidden face with the reflection in the image below, but the mirror is divided into 3 sections.  She is in 2 of the mirrors, having 1 original face and another, the other Ganger.  

In this image below, Jennifer is in a stall while Rory looks on.  He also has a reflection spanning 2 mirrors, so he is a mirror of Jennifer. Also interesting is that Jennifer is the name of the Doctor’s daughter.

This scene in the bathroom mirrors, in a lot of ways, the scene between the 12th Doctor and Bill in “The Pilot,” where Heather comes through the mirror.

This all suggests the 12th Doctor has an imposter, who is a monster, which fits what we’ve examined.

At the end of “The Rebel Flesh,” the original 11th Doctor tells his Ganger, who is about to sort of die

DOCTOR: Your molecular memory can survive this, you know. It may not be the end.

This location is a 13th century castle, which is 13 or 1 on a clock, depending on how you look at it.  And both are faces in the subtext of the 12th Doctor.  In comparison, shown below, is Hydroflax’s robot without the head. However, in this image it looks like it has a clock for a head in a perfectly centered camera shot.  

The time is about 1:50. The monster part is a robot and is labeled 1, as opposed to the 12th Doctor’s actual number.  Hydroflax is a time head, referencing Amy’s concern that her baby might be affected by Amy‘s travel in space.  Things in THORS are running backward, as well as being distorted.

Duplication & Killer Robots Going Back in Time to Change History

In both the previous episode and “The Eaters of Light,” there are references to duplication and killer robots going back in time to change history.

Mary Celeste, Duplication & Assassination in The Chase

The Mary Celeste reference brings in the entire 1st Doctor story The Chase.  Check out the episode titles.   Back then DW titled each episode.  (The Mary Celeste shows up in “Flight Through Eternity.”):

·      "The Executioners"

·      "The Death of Time"

·      "Flight Through Eternity"

·      "Journey into Terror"

·      "The Death of Doctor Who"

·      "The Planet of Decision"

Season 10 is tracking many of the elements of this story: duplication, assassination, killer robot, dreams, nightmares, psychological manipulation, slime and tentacled beasts, Doctor fighting Doctor, death of the imposter, etc.  And OMG, Frankenstein’s Monster shows up!   Along with Dracula, and it just so happens the Eaters of Light need blood.

Overall, The Chase is about the Daleks (their 3rd appearance) chasing the Doctor in their own time machine through space and time, similar to what Heather did in “The Pilot.”  This, too, harkens back to several elements of “Human Nature” and “The Family of Blood.”

The Daleks’ goal is to kill the Doctor, whom they say is human, along with Barbara, Ian, and Vicki. However, they first want to duplicate the Doctor, creating an assassin robot to “infiltrate, separate, and kill.”

They make an exact replica in the episode “The Death of Doctor Who.”  The Doctor ends up fighting him.  However, in the following season’s “The Gunfighters” story, which we examined in last week’s episode, it’s the Doctor who is the imposter.  Did the Daleks create more than one Doctor robot? I haven’t seen enough of the 1st Doctor to possibly have a guess.

Anyway, the crew’s disappearance on the Mary Celeste in this 1st Doctor story is attributed to the Daleks showing up just after the Doctor. The crew thought the Daleks were the Barbary Terror.  It’s also called the White Terror in the episode, a supernatural being which appears to sailors at sea and takes their souls.  It sounds a lot like the siren in “The Curse of the Black Spot.”  The concepts of white and black here, along with concepts from “The Eaters of Light” could refer to the duality.

In reality, the Barbary Terror referred to pirates operating out of North Africa, enslaving Christians mostly for the Ottoman Empire.  So the use in the episode refers to slavery and most likely mind control.  It also sounds like the werewolf in “Tooth and Claw” that carved out the boy’s soul and sat in his heart.

The Lusitania, Assassination & Meddling with Time

Nardole mentioned the Lusitania to the Picts but didn’t elaborate.  More ship problems.  I knew the history of it, but I didn’t know the reference in the DW universe.

Tip: Usually, words that stick out, like names, have some subtext meaning.  It’s good to look them up.

The Lusitania is important because of the non-canon audio story. According to the TARDIS Wikia:

The RMS Lusitania was an ocean liner torpedoed by the U-20 on 7 May 1915. This act helped provoke the United States into entering World War I two years later. One of the people killed onboard was a petty criminal named Eric Charles Vincent.

In an alternative timeline, the Lusitania did not sink due to the Fifth Doctor's intervention. Vincent, having survived, went on to kill Alexander Fleming in a botched robbery attempt in December 1927 before the biologist discovered penicillin. Without the protection offered by penicillin, Earth fell prey to new strains of meningitis and pneumonia in 1956. The survivors never developed a space programme. Consequently, the Knights of Velyshaa were not defeated by the Earth Alliance in 3562, as they otherwise would have been. (AUDIO: The Sirens of Time)

Since the audio story supports my new hypothesis, it’s important.

Tip: Be careful with using non-canon references.  If they have other support in the canon or subtext, then, most likely, they are valid to use to support your subtext work.  If they don’t have support, keep them in mind, but I suggest not using them for the time being.  Through your subsequent research, you may find supporting information.

Last week, Bill mentioned something interesting in “The Empress of Mars”:

NARDOLE: The Tardis registered multiple life forms below the surface, so this seems like the best place to look. BILL: Maybe someone's been messing around with time. Like in The Terminator.

In The Terminator, a killer robot time travels to prevent a revolution by assassinating someone.  He’s meddling with time.  In the case of the Lusitania, the 5th Doctor meddled with time.

Moreover, “messing around with time” is a reference to the next 1st Doctor story after The Chase called The Time Meddler.  I hadn’t seen this one, either, so I watched it after I finished The Chase.

Check out the episode titles:

·      "The Watcher"

·      "The Meddling Monk"

·      "A Battle of Wits"

·      "Checkmate"

Wow, a Monk and chess! Also, certainly we’ve seen the Monks as watchers, and the face of the 12th Doctor as the totalitarian government was a Watcher.  Also, the Doctor is in a battle of wits with the Monks.

Once again, I was blown away just by the titles.  I need to go check out all the other DW titles to see what I can glean.  The story also tracks closely with what is happening.

The Monk is the 3rd Time Lord to make an appearance in DW, beside the Doctor and Susan Foreman. 

I haven’t watched all the 1st Doctor stories to figure this out, but it looks like there is more than one imposter.  And there is something really odd in The Chase when Vicki, Barbara, and the Doctor just lie down on the ground, like they are taking a nap.  There was something wrong about it, like they were robots, who got turned off.

There are 2 really important concepts that can help explain nuWho that come up in “Journey into Terror.” It’s a haunted house of psychological terror.   At one point, the Doctor and Ian are stumbling along with only the light of a small torch to guide them.

IAN: Oh, there's one thing about this place, Doctor. It certainly stimulates the phagocytes. The phago? You know, it's uncanny, strange and weird, but it is familiar.

Since phagocytes are certain types of cells that protect the body by ingesting harmful bacteria, foreign particles, dead or dying cells, etc. “phagocytes” makes no sense here given what we think we know.  This tells us something is wrong.

However, it also connects to nuWho and the idea of the Doctor getting an infection, like in “The Lie of the Land” or CAL having an infection, needing Doctor Moon, the virus checker.

On top of that, here is something really fascinating and very relevant just a few seconds later:

DOCTOR: Pre-conditioned. That's it. Pre-conditioned! IAN: What are you talking about now? DOCTOR: This house is exactly what you would expect in a nightmare. Yes, we're in a world of dreams. Creaking doors, thunder and lightning, monsters and all the things that go bumpety bumpety in the night. IAN: With one vital difference, Doctor. This house is real. It exists. DOCTOR: Yes, yes it exists in the dark recesses of the human minds. Millions of people secretly believing. Think of the immense power of all these people, combined together, makes this place become a reality. IAN: Then we're safe. DOCTOR: Safe? What on earth do you mean, dear boy? IAN: But the Daleks can't touch us here? Not in the human mind. DOCTOR: You know, I believe you're right. Yes! The Daleks can never land here! (They go down the stairs, pausing at the creaky one at the bottom.)

They realize they are pre-conditioned to believe in this dream.  But it’s millions of people secretly believing.  It’s belief that is sustaining this world.  And Ian and the Doctor are wrong.  The Daleks show up.

Here, again, are the concepts of the Library metaphor with CAL and Doctor Moon, in Season 10, especially in “The Lie of the Land.”  We also examined something similar in the 2nd Doctor story “The Mind Robber.”

Belief is what allows evil Fenric to continue in “The Curse of Fenric,” and it feeds the Minotaur in “The God Complex.”  It’s necessary to stop believing or breaking people’s confidence.  So far, it’s been Ace’s confidence in the 7th Doctor, Amy’s confidence in the 11th Doctor, and Bill’s confidence in the 12th Doctor.

Bill attempted to assassinate the Doctor once her confidence in him was broken in “The Lies of the Land.”

This may be foreshadowing the Doctor and Missy.

The Saxon King & Harry Saxon

The meddling Monk believes that if he goes back in time and kills the Viking King Harald Hardrada and the rest of his men, who invade Britain shortly before the Battle of Hastings, the last Anglo-Saxon King Harold Godwinson would be freed up to successfully repel William of Normandy’s invasion at Hastings.  The Monk believes in the long run that this would be better for the entire world, and he could help humans have extraordinary technology, like airplanes by the 1300s.

The Monk says he helped the ancients build Stone Henge with aid of anti-gravitational lift – must be Merlin.  The Monk is associated with the Roman Cross, making him a face of the 12th Doctor.  At one point, he and the 1st Doctor are associated with the Redemption Cross.

In the last episode of the story, “Checkmate,” the 1st Doctor leaves a letter on top of the Monk’s TARDIS that looks like a sarcophagus.  Below is the Monk reading the letter.  The Roman cross (yellow arrow) is behind him.  The sarcophagus is to the right.  

The Monk opens the letter:

MONK: The Doctor. (reads) My dear fellow, I'm sure will you excuse me but I didn't want to say goodbye, as you are obviously going to be very busy for some time. He's right there. Just in case you still have ideas about your master plan, I've taken precautions to stop your time meddling. (Laughs. How could he stop a Mark 4?) Possibly one day in the future, when you've learnt your lesson, I shall return and release you. Release me? (Laughs again. Ha! Me? Oh, the old fool. I wonder what he meant by release me? Well, I'll be going.)

The Doctor stole his dimensional control.  Check out this image below.  It looks like the dimensional problem the 12th Doctor had in the Season 8 episode “Flatline,” when the TARDIS shrunk with the Doctor inside.

Harry Saxon

The Master took the name Harry Saxon for a reason.  Saxon’s have come up 2 times that we’ve seen.  Once with Merlin, who was helping the Britons battle the Saxons, and once above with the Monk.  So the Monk is now helping the Saxons in The Time Meddler.  Does the Doctor helping Missy represent this?

Who will kill whom?

Aberdeen, the Assassination Theme, Lies & the Big Bad Wolf

“The Eaters of Light” opens in Aberdeen, Scotland, which is another reference to “Tooth and Claw,” bringing in all the references to Queen Victoria, Clara, the werewolf, and all the other references we’ve examined in previous analyses, especially “The Empress of Mars.” 

The 12th Doctor, himself, mentioned a wolf and likens it to the monster:

BAN: The Keeper of the Gate. My sister. DOCTOR: Well, let's hope she's the brains of the family, because there's a big bad wolf of a monster out there and you live in a house of sticks.

Also, Aberdeen showed up in “The Lie of the Land.”  The Doctor was on the prison boat off the coast of Aberdeen.  We know that episode was running backward.  The Doctor was possessed in the subtext.  The same thing is happening in this latest episode.

Aberdeen & the Assassination Theme

Queen Victoria would have traveled to Aberdeen by train, but the implication of the tree on the railway was that it was an assassination attempt.  Assassination has also become a theme with all the references we’ve been seeing.  “The Deadly Assassin” – the 4th Doctor story examined in the "Extremis" analysis – tells us there is also framing going on.

We know the Sun has to die.

Next Chapter

In the next chapter, we’ll examine the references to love and separation, which is a theme, and we’ll also examine the references that foreshadow the fall of the Doctor.

Read next chapter ->

[attract-mode-collective]

Of Course Dr. Mario Has A Storyline, What Kind Of A Dumb Question Is That?

Yes, it’s true. It’s even in the instruction manual! Though the latest video from Gaijillionaire details the storyline in the manga adaptation of Dr Mario, is something that was dreamt up by the comickers at Bonbon.

I’m not sure what I like more: how it somewhat connects to Super Mario Land (well its manga adaptation at least) or the explanation as to why the pills fall so slowly in-game. That and all the bits & pieces that would appear in Mario titles many years down the road; I do believe it is plausible that Miyamoto may have gotten some ideas from the manga.

On a semi-related note, a couple of mini storybooks based upon early Famicom titles popped up on Yahoo Auctions. They’re no longer active, but thankfully uwagoto was able to save the pics (here and here)…

I really hope, as one of the cover implies, Donkey Kong Jr and one of the fish from Balloon Fight actually teams up against the Balloon Fighter and Bubbles from Clu Clu Land.

And why the hell not; here we have another Mario related vid this early into the proceedings, but one on the opposite end of the spectrum. There’s a brand new series that I dig, called Low Poly, which tracks the evolution of a character model from game to game. And the first installment, based upon Mario (obviously), is perhaps my favorite thus far. Cuz I had long assumed that Mario hasn’t changed all that much, past his GameCube. Well, I was wrong…

insertdisc5 states: “i started thinking about a zelda game where link and ganondorf are childhood friends and gave myself Intense Feels”…

Here we have my first fave piece of Persona fan art (the first of many to come, no doubt), by averykua…

Also via Avery Kua, from her homepage, is this very nice looking arcade stick…

Here’s the artwork in full, btw…

Back to my mai latest P5 waifu; the very first Futaba figure has been revealed!

The best part about is how she comes with interchangeable parts, which means she you can take her jacket off and even have her pose with Morgana…

It also hasn’t taken long for someone to produce a pair based upon the protagonist’s glasses. Which I thought about getting, but as my buddy @ducktastic pointed out, they’re not the most flattering looking frames IRL, at least not as nice as ones based upon P4. Though for anyone else interested, you can pre-order a pair via National Console Support…

My pal @vitaminsteve passed along this tweet, by someone that’s “really close to starting an IG dedicated to the living situations of wrestling fans. it's fucking fascinating.” Included is this image of a guy with a ton of replica wrestling belts (you non-wrestling fans have NO IDEA how much each only one can sometimes cost), and also a Sega Saturn Bomberman multitap…

Oh, and here’s what the multitap looks like when its full potential has been reached (via @Cure_makopi)…

Back to wrestling; was just listening to Something to Wrestle with Bruce Prichard, aka my current fave podcast, and a recent episode mentioned the indoor Sega Saturn blimp, a staple of mid 90s WWF PPVs. And which coincidentally just appeared in my feed (was originally posted by laser-lobotomy)…

BTW, the game Battle Monsters was also brought up in that same episode, multiple times.

Kotaku recently passed along some tweets from folks in Japan that noticed that the windows at a shopping mall there looks like DS game cards…

Another neat thing that Kotaku picked up from Twitter users in Japan that you might have missed is this story about a kid who wanted a Switch so bad that he made a one out of cardboard…

And while his son was taking a bath, dad places the real thing inside…

As always, the @CoolBoxArt Twitter feed continues to deliver…

BTW, am assuming the reason why Kyle passed along to me the intro to the PSone version of UNO is cuz the Saturn version’s cover was shared earlier today...

Whereas @GoodBoyGraphics recently shared a flyer for Attack Animal Gakuen…

The actual art on the cart is quite different, yet also quite the same, and overall quite nice…

FYI, the lead from the game is the school from the bazooka you previous saw here.

Speaking of girls with guns, and also food, cuz I’m hungry as I’m writing this; byronb states: “BurgR. Va inspired by the D.Va references coming from Wendy’s and Arby’s”…

Please enjoy this scene from the arcade by crisalys…

Which do you prefer; this woman whose arms is wrapped around a MSX (via potetoboy)…

Or this snake wrapped around a GBC (via scale-punk)…

While on the subject of the Game Boy Color, here we This Does Not Compute, which addressing one of classic gaming’s great white whales yet again: a GBC with a backlit screen. Unlike with other models of the Game Boy, you can’t mod the factory-installed screen for such a thing, for reasons that has been explained already. Hence why the appearance of the dream mod that appeared on a Chinese shopping site was such a big deal to those in the know. Colin tried to get ahold of one and… thus we have this 20-minute long video!

Which animated gif from a not so popular third installment of fighting franchise do you dig the most? This one from Virtua Fighter 3 (via lvrllnd)…

Or this one, from Street Fighter EX3 (via vgjunk)…

And which animated gif from a game that I’m pretty sure you’ve never heard of appeals to you the most? This moment captured from Akatsuki Denko Senki/Akatsuki Blitzkampf (via kazucrash)…

Or this equally frantic and perplexing moment from Hard Head 2 (via obscurevideogames)…

One more question, for now at least: which part of part of Sega 3D Classics’ ending do you prefer? The part in which Ecco the Dolphin steals the car from OutRun…

Or when the pterodactyl from Ecco steals it (both via grooveonfight)…

Hey look, Asteroid cookies (via it8bit)…

Speaking of arcade classics, perhaps everyone’s aware of my affinity for TNT Amusements’s informercials? The first one I ever covered was for GameSetWatch over a ten years ago(!!!), then a bit more recently, I passed along an earlier example when the Attract Mode blog was still powered by WordPress. Well, turns out, there’s yet another infomercial, one that predates even those two efforts! Which was recently uploaded to the TNT YouTube channel, with the bonus commentary. Alas, much like how the second one isn’t quite as strong as the third and final masterpiece, the first attempt is rough around the edges; Todd hadn’t developed his comedic chops, but hey, we all have to start somewhere and it all starts here…

According to actionfigureinsider.com…

“BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment Inc., the creator and publisher of the ubiquitous PAC-MAN, is bringing back the nostalgic, iconic art of PAC-MAN in the form of a new Style Guide called “PAC-MAN Retro”. BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment worked with a team of in-house designers to expertly create the new style guide, which is comprised of a series of evocative artwork styles from the 80s that catapulted the game into one of the highest grossing licensing brands in history.”

Here’s apparently an excerpt from the style guide. Basically, for those of us who have been patiently waiting for a toy based upon Pac-Man, back when he had red eyes, our day might finally be here…

Meanwhile, miki800.com tells us that the Arthur from Ghosts ‘n Goblins figure I first showed off nearly a year ago is finally almost here (there’s even an additional face, with the Pac-Man-looking eyes)…

Though is Ghosts ‘n Goblins too mainstream for you? I get it; I too prefer something more off the beat path as well. Hence why I too am interested in these Wings of Wor figures also (via mendelpalace)…

Check out these absolute stunning models by Kow Yokoyama, for the original Super Famicom release of Front Mission, that Video Game Densetsu gathered up (you can see everything here and here)…

Oh, and to prove that I’m not only about toys and models based upon old Japanese games, here’s a wonderful assortment of Killer Queen figures that was spotted over at the Killer Queen NYC FB page…

Am pretty sure this rather curious ad that has oldgamemags perplexed is for Ubisoft’s very early Mario Kart clone, Street Racer. It’s also reason #175,932 why the recently leaked Mario + Rabbids is hardly a shock to my system at least…

And here’s reason #275,853 why I love Mortal Kombat so much (via angyspaulding)…

Plus reason #275,854, and yet another long ass video; courtesy of mysterious0bob comes an hour long vid of glitched finishing moves from a MK rom hack that’s bucking at every single seem. It’s… truly something else. It’s also hard to say what my absolute favorite part is, though the 39:30 mark is just one of many in which things become legitimately high art…

These GameCenter CX screencaps are pretty relevant to me, especially since I recently turned 40 and am officially middle aged, though I’m not too out-of-shape I’d like to think (via starbornkit)…

And finally, here we have some images by Filip Hodas (via retrogamerblog)…

… Which remind me of the cover to that zine I’M STILL WORKING ON I SWEAR TO GOD…

… Though here we have an interesting opinion from SlimeGirls…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.