#fion the daft

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Night Shift: What Happens in the Watchtower Stays in the Watchtower

It's the wee small hours in the morning, and it's so damn quiet. I'd even take a good ol fashioned Hal/Ollie argument over the boredom. I've even managed to get a fair bit of crocheting done. Of course, whenever I start with the hookwork, I get teased by a coworker.

It's late April, and it's like a Bjork song out there: oh so quiet. Amazingly, there's nothing to do. No crime beyond the petty stuff. It's like every villain just decided to not for one night. Rare, but it happens. Due to my inability to not just sit still without fidgeting, I drag out the crochet. I'm barely a few rows into my beach blanket when my buddy Victor starts in.

"Hey, since when did we accept grandmas in the Justice League?"

"About the time you joined, Tin Woodsman. Why, you need some mittens or a bobble hat?"

"The cold doesn't bother me, Nana Fion. Why do you do that, anyway? Pay's good, you can just buy a blanket."

"You know I have idle hand syndrome. This way, my hands stay out of trouble, I get exactly the kind of blanket I want, more or less, plus... good for dexterity. Besides, pretty sure Rosie Greer did needlepoint."

"Never thought of that. Good point. What's the next project, gonna make Swamp Thing a flower crown?"

"Nah, he makes his own. Was gonna make Harley a new straight jacket, until I saw the price of the yarn I was gonna use. I knew silk was expensive, but damn. It'd cost me over a hundred in yarn alone. Better off learning to sew at those rates."

"Hey, at least you're good at that stuff. I can't even sew a button on, I break sewing needles."

"Tell you what Vic... you give me any buttons you need replaced, I'll do it for Guild rate, which is a couple bars of chocolate and a pop."

"Deal. None of my friends can sew either."

"I can be talked into teaching, it's not that hard until machines get involved."

"You promise not to tell anyone?"

"Vic... it's me. I'm not one to spill the tea. Not. One. Word. Lantern's honor, swear on my ring, my battery, and the Guardians' ridiculous red dresses."

"They do look pretty stupid. But, don't tell the others."

"Me? Give an actual opinion to my coworkers on something besides a crisis? I'm Miss Switzerland here, I don't take sides, and I'm not a gossip."

"That's why everybody likes you more than Jordan. You know when not to say something."

"He does tend to put his big foot in his mouth a lot." We share a laugh about that. Hal Jordan is many things, but "annoying little git", as a famed asshole extraordinaire would say, is chief among them at times. Hell, even his best friends have taken swings at him. Ollie once knocked him out in front of everybody. The literal devil has several restraining orders against him. You know you're annoying when even Hell itself doesn't want to deal with your bullshit.

[arithecreatorsstuff]

"Your Majesty, as both a Green Lantern and a witch of Clan Macleod, you'll not find Fion Rowena Macleod shirking her duty. This is my home, my steading. And woe to any who dare threaten it. My ring is charged and ready at your command. Just for informational purposes, what's the Shokan stance on unconventional weaponry? I can whip up and use just about anything in a hurry. Ever see a man take a lemon to the face at 200 km/s? Hilarious yet frightening. Oh, and I'm not a bad healer, so I can tend to any injuries."

The petite redhead conjures up a rocket launcher, loaded with... lemons. "It started with a video game joke between myself and a certain purple suited unfunny clown, and it may have gotten a bit out of hand. But it's a hell of a way to get your point across. Pity Batman banned its use in urban areas, as it's a wee bit heavy on collateral damage. I'm also pretty handy with edged weaponry, I'm Scottish American, it's in the blood. Which the aforementioned clown can confirm, I left scars from my claymore when I literally spanked him with it. My superior officer in the Corps was trying not to laugh over the comms, but I'm sure I caught a small smirk on Grandmaster Hasashi's face. We're by and large not allowed to kill outside of direct combat, but there's no rule about adding insult to grievous bodily harm, is there? And to be truthful, it was hard not to kill him. I loathe clowns."

The Shokan Queen looks the young lass up and down.

"Exactly how tall are you?"

"Four feet, eleven inches. Practically a pixie. But I pack quite a wallop. After all, a wise but short great mage once said 'Size matters not.' He also said 'Do, or do not. There is no try.', kind of the MacLeod and Green Lantern mantra."

Open Fandom RP (to all fandoms)

“I have been asked by Kitana Kahn to assist you in some sort of mission that you have. I warn you now, I do not deal with weaklings who rely on my strength to do all their work for them. If I am to assist you, then you must work just as hard as me. Do we understand one another?” Sheeva asked towards your muse as the four-armed woman clearly wasn’t in the mood to play games. 

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Fion Contemplates Her Life Choices

I walk into the Main Hall of the Watchtower, and groan. I've only been on the clock for less than five minutes, and already my boss was making me regret coming in. Sometimes, I really have to question Hal Jordan's intelligence, but today... today it was clear he left his brain in his other suit.

My boss, the biggest idiot in the Green Lantern Corps, is... chasing around Superman with a green rock. The poor Kryptonian was cowered in a corner, arms over his head. Yeah, I should stop this before Batman sees this. This isn't a good image for us, that's for sure.

"Hal, you do know if Bats sees this, you're likely to have your head handed to you?"

"Pffft. We all know he won't kill me. Beside, it's just a little harmless fun, Fion."

And now I'm mad. Mad enough to do something that, if this were the military, my ass would be locked up for. I pull back my fist, and sock him right in the nose. Hal drops the construct, shocked.

"Fion, you just struck a superior officer."

"Where? All I see is a juvenile moron with a face in need of a fist. You're a grown man, supposedly, with the most powerful weapon in existence on his hand, yet you act like a drunken idiot fratboy with a supremely punchable face." I hadn't even heard Batman enter, but that was the Bat for you. Seems he wasn't amused either. "Fion, while I agree that pranking Kal is a low move, you shouldn't punch Hal. On that note, you're on the help desk for a week. Jordan, however... Hal, get your deep space gear on, our main solar array needs a good scrub and you just volunteered. Don't. You want to act like a goon, expect to be given goon work. And if you're not out there in five minutes, I'm removing your internet access. So, if you want to see how "All Of Us Are Dead" ends, I suggest you move."

Hal shuffles out, a scolded 5 year old in a man's body. Kal nods in thanks.

"You didn't need to do that, Fion."

"Sorry, but seeing him bully you just irritated me. More than he usually does. I swear, the only reason the Guardians even let him keep the ring is he's simply the second most annoying human alive."

Kal laughs. "Only the second?"

"Yeah, Joker still has the top spot by two country miles. Especially after he tried to hang me over the harbor by my braid. Speaking of, I kind of want to cut it off. Along with a few other changes."

"Such as?"

"Permanently moving out of the looney bin that is Gotham, and maybe getting a new CO in the Corps. I can work with John, and Guy's not as bad. Also, I need to stop hanging around my ex, he's nothing but trouble."

"Sounds like a plan. As for the new boss, go for John. Guy's good, but John is more consistent."

"Thanks, Kal."

"No worries, Fion."

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Fiesty, Ain't She?

Fion encounters an annoying clown, and handles him her way

Triggers: bad jokes, catty wardrobe comments, use of combustible lemons, Batman isn't mad, just disappointed.

Another rainy Thursday night on patrol in Gotham. I swear, the sun never shines here. I'm doing my usual traversal methods through the warehouse district, quick but discreet teleport hops. Batman didn't need to tell me the ringglow is a dead giveaway we're coming, I learned from the others. Really, I only fly long range. Plus, the teleports allow faster corse correction as needed. I spot a bunch of the Joker's goons, moving crates. Not what I want to see. I course correct, pop up behind Goon #1, and knock him out. Goon #2 tries punching me, only to meet a Master Shield slap to the face. Down. I tie them up, and open the crate. Joker gas. Yikes. I look up to see Goons #3, 4, 5, & 6, plus the Joker, all packing machine guns. The four goons attack en masse, and are made to regret it quickly. Only the clown remains, but in the chaos he's hiding. He's expecting me to hunt him down. Yeah... Fion doesn't do that. I form a chair, take out a worn copy of "Interesting Times", and start reading. After five minutes, the Jerk Jester emerges.

"You're supposed to be chasing me! You've ruined my gag." He chastises me.

"Oh, sorry? I'm new here, still learning things." I never look up from the book, in fact I just turn a page.

"Quit reading and fight me! Is there a man or a mouse in that tin can suit?" I keep reading.

"Neither, since last I checked I'm a woman. And you're one to talk. You steal that suit from Tinky Winky? Or did you skin Barney the Dinosaur?"

"I would never stoop so low!"

"Your tailor sure did." I hear Red Hood laughing. Didn't realize I had an audience, but okay. Sure enough, he's prone on a nearby roof, trying not to laugh too hard. Yeah, I think I like Jason more and more. But, time to focus. Clown boy is still packing heat. I put away my book, and face him. He fires, but all that pops out is a stupid flag. My turn. I think, form my weapon, and hit him in the face with a lemon launched at 200 meters a second. And the look on Joker's face was priceless. I hit him again, only this time the lemon explodes and sets his hideous suit ablaze. Perfect shot. I put out the flames, tie up the clown, and wait. Red Hood joins me.

"That was awesome. Unexpected, but awesome. I got photos of his face after the first shot. I'm sending them to you. Gotta say, normally the Boss isn't a fan of the Corps, but he likes you."

"I do, but whatever you just used here, please don't use it in civilian populations. Unless you like paying for collateral damages."

"Hi Boss. Noted. So, aside from that, any tips?"

"None. By the way, not giving in to Joker's chase ploy was smart. Jordan would charge in blind. Could have been a gamble, but it paid off. I've only seen the Joker so annoyed once. After Harleen left him, he was a real jerk. He'll remember you. He hates being upstaged."

"Then he needs better material." The GCPD show up, and we head back on patrol.

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Too much caffeine + dumb as hell supervisor acting like a five year old in desperate need of a timeout + zero sleep + power ring hangover. It ain't easy being Green... Lantern.

(Pity my poor OC... Hal Jordan is her superior officer, and he's stuck in his "Freak out the Kryptonians" phase... again)

Why does your oc have a headache?