#fine as in a deeply repressed individual lacking identity who rejects every ounce of vulnerability and intimacy and feels worthless
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My therapist's preliminary diagnosis for me is
Major depressive disorder (aka plain old depression)
Generalized anxiety disorder ("" anxiety)
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
I was shocked by the suggestion of CPTSD and I still feel like an imposter about it
#i was like ptsd? nah cant be#only to look at all the criteria and be like....ohhhhh#ive been calling it avoidant personality disorder this whole time#which is so closely linked it basically overlaps and thats when i was like pkay shes probably right#but i still feel fake#like i dont deserve to be able to say ive experienced trauma#like as if my life werent bad enough or something#and comparatively someone elses trauma is way worse#and was mine even that bad? i start to lose sight...#ive always just thought it probably wasnt GREAT but i 'turned out fine'#fine as in a deeply repressed individual lacking identity who rejects every ounce of vulnerability and intimacy and feels worthless#and incompetent and thinks that no one ever could possibly TRULY love me or will actually be there for me i don't trust a single thing#....but doesnt burden anyone else with the mental illness that plagues me every waking minute so like 'turned out fine'#🤪🤪#personal
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