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hwaightme · 2 years ago

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Your fan, Seonghwa (part 1)

(your fan ml)

🛸 pairing: seonghwa x nerdfluencer & physicist!reader 🛸 genre: romance, fluff, mutual pining 🛸 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if seonghwa was stanning you 🛸 wordcount: 5.4k 🛸 warnings/tags: language, SCIENCE, astrophysics, may the force be with you, scientific formulas, lego obsession, yunho driving, hongjoong jealousy and fatigue, seonghwa just wants someone to be a nerd with, lmk if anything else 🛸 taglist: [temporarily removed because... dumblr] 🛸 a/n: Hello there my loves <3 here is part 1 for Your Fan Seonghwa! The end is nigh and I am in denial ;~; Much love and biggest hugs <3

"Hold up, are you... no.... NOT THIS!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!! GUYS WE HAVE LOST HIM!!!

A wild Wooyoung crashed Seonghwa's dorm room, and yelled bloody murder as he saw what could only be described as cursed scriptures on the older member's phone screen. It was unmistakable... they were FORMULAS... EQUATIONS... THE MOMENT WHEN MATHS SUDDENLY HAD MORE LETTERS THAN NUMBERS...

"What???? What is happening???" a confused Mingi, who was passing by the room while walking down the corridor, called out and peered in. Wooyoung was crouched on the floor, clenching his shirt as though he was having a heart attack.

"He is... HE IS WATCHING PHYSICS LECTURES." That was enough for Mingi to shriek, and be joined by San, who collapsed onto his knees right at the door, and beat it a couple of times with his fist, and screamed:

"HE HAS BEEN POSSESSED NOOOOOO..."

"I think I am about to pass out this is disgusting..." Wooyoung whispered to himself, not noticing Yunho creep into the room, assessing the damage.

"Bro you are supposed to be a role model and you do this?" Yunho asked shaking his head in disapproval.

"This is to answer the question of whether Tatooine's twin stars could be a real thing and actually have planets forming around them. It is really nicely explained and informative, and I highly recommend it." Seonghwa's voice remained level while he was observing the reactions of his fellow members - just as he had expected, and intended.

"That's what they all say... and then they go get a degree..." Yeosang interjected while walking by the room, every bit a mourning man.

"Hey STEM is also cool!" Seonghwa added making the group erupt in waves of groans and gasps.

"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, YOU TRAITOR?" Wooyoung shouted out, having turned borderline manic at this point.

"I really can't see why we split the sciences and liberal arts in such a hardcore way. I mean, the really awesome stuff happens when we combine them, right?"

The eldest member was just having fun taking the piss at this point, knowing that if anybody was distant to science, it was the majority of ATEEZ. With the exception of Yeosang, but he felt the natural sciences to be a moral trigger so he was not destroying the 'not quite STEM fond' agenda.

"You know what, keep on watching it you corrupt man, but out of my sight for my sake."

"First of all, you are the one who barged into my room for some fucking reason. Second of all, okay then, I'll tell you about dark matter and dark energy later."

"What?" Wooyoung, who had already picked himself up off the floor and was in process of slowly getting out of the room, suddenly froze and turned his head dramatically.

"Space is fun, you should 'open up your eyes open up your mind' a bit."

"Yeah that's why I'm asking you to give me that space and keep some space between us. I don't want to have a stress-induced stroke or something."

"Do you even have a brain to have a stroke with?" Hongjoong entered the room, making his way to his bed, done with the younger member's antics, and moderately disinterested in whatever cursed content Seonghwa was indulging in in his free time.

"I swear, the more time I spend in the studio, the more shit goes down at home and I end up finding out via Twitter or as a public announcement. Can science explain that, Hwa?" Hongjoong called out while rubbing his face with his hands in an attempt to fight sleep.

"Nah, don't know anything about psychology, sorry."

"Oooh how does that make you feel Joongie?" San tried to prod.

"Scram, you menace, show's over." Hongjoong aimed with a pillow, ready to start physical violence, but the threat seemed to carry across well enough, "San, I have yet to think of consequences for you and your bloody international conspiracies, so for you I am auto-pissed."

"Aight, I'm boutta head out." Yunho raised his hands and grabbed both San and Wooyoung by the collars, and dragged them out. Mingi was polite enough to just follow along.

"Have a NICE TIME!" Seonghwa merely smiled as a frustrated Wooyoung slammed the door to the older member's dorm and stomped off, obviously not satisfied with the lack of a scoop. He was in dire need of tea, and the one member that had not yet revealing ANYTHING at all was just going insane with his space obsession - not good enough.

Seonghwa knew that he would not be attacked. He had a foolproof strategy to hide himself. And it was the power of natural sciences and mathematics. All he had to do was switch screens and he would have one of your 'professional' videos playing. One where it was just your voice, and a digital blackboard occupying the entire screen, with you writing formula after formula.

He found it challenging to pick up on all the things you said in your more academically intense videos (at least straight away), but your passion was addictive, and Seonghwa had discovered that you were brilliant at providing analogies for concepts that were hard for him. This had resulted in him proudly being able to calculate redshift, and relative magnitudes (with these endeavours having been done in secret, on envelopes or napkins, out of everyone's sight).

This kind of study-along had become one of the ways in which Seonghwa decided he could connect with you without being grilled by the other members. The only one who had raised an eyebrow and had taken his behaviours with suspicion had been Hongjoong, but with no other evidence, the captain could not make him walk the plank.

If he wanted to unwind and treat your videos almost like relaxing ASMR, he either went to your other channel where you did 'researcher vlogs' or focused on the videos that were whole sessions dedicated to simply nerding out over your favourite things. Which just so happened to be incredibly similar to his. To Seonghwa, there was nothing better than your ability to combine your professional knowledge and total shitposting.

He loved how you would include Star Wars memes in otherwise serious videos. How you would dive into the great depths and divulge the details of something like the impact of destruction over Endor, or the flight dynamics of space craft in Star Wars, or the famous discussion of vibrations in space, and how all sound in the movie should be treated as an interpretation for the audience, rather than something that the characters could actually hear.

You had also mentioned a couple of times about Star Wars figurines and LEGO sets, which had sent his heart ablaze, but so far, had never shown even as much as a hint at a collection - which he had written to you about in the comments of one of your YouTube videos using a fake account.

He had almost squealed when he saw that you had favourited the comment, and replied to it with a quick 'perhaps soon ;)'. It really meant nothing, and anyone could have written the same thing in half a second, but it was you, and he suddenly understood in much greater depth how ATINY probably felt when he read their comments out during a live.

Seonghwa had discovered you when searching for a clip from one of the Star Wars films, a clip which you had just so happened to have analysed. He had been curious about what you had to say, so he simply clicked, not knowing that this was the start of something much greater.

First, the thought you were a YouTuber who produced Star Wars related content. Next, he thought you were an adorable nerd who liked space. Then, he thought you were an incredibly intelligent and multifaceted individual who had a broad range of interests, fascinating experiences, and a passion for science. And finally, he figured out that you were a fully fledged researcher working towards her PhD in astrophysics in a high profile institute, were hilarious, what he would consider a genius, and yet were supremely humble, down to earth (he found it interesting to describe you in that way while you were studying everything that surrounded the planet) and so genuine.

He did not consider himself a fan at all, because he simply wanted to get to know you, off camera In real life. Seonghwa had a crush on you from the get-go. And the opportunity to meet had presented himself out of the blue, and on the best day possible, when a schedule had just been canceled. In the community tab on your channel you had announced that you would be doing a small meet and greet in a specific location, and that if anyone wanted to pop by during a set period of time, you would be there.

It was set. He was going to pull 99z tactic and make a run for it. This was critical. Much to his dismay, once he checked the map, he saw that the 'venue' you had chosen, which turned out to be one of the 'dream-ity' cafes was... far. Very far. Especially for him, since it was either public transport and high exposure risk, or walking which would just send him to go meet people in the after life instead.

He had no choice. Seonghwa needed a partner in crime. But there was only one who fit the role anyways. He needed Yunho. Upon receiving a cryptic text from the eldest member, he ambled into the room, a smirk on his face.

"So? What do you need me for? Does Cinderella need to head to the ball?"

"Honestly, kind of. I need to attend this one event, but it is far." Seonghwa kept his descriptions vague, not wanting to reveal too much too soon.

"Why not grab one of the drivers?" Yunho narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

"This is a private matter."

"Well you know I need details now. And I am not moving anywhere until I get them."

Yunho could feel where this was going. He could see that familiar glint in Seonghwa's eyes. This was peak 'I am crushing, I know it, but I don't want to tell you' behaviour. Finally, the old man found a potential special someone. This was a day to celebrate.

"I said, private." Seonghwa reiterated. Yunho did not really need to know the details, because he was already on board, but it was fun to annoy Seonghwa when he could.

"Hey, what if you are going to go be murdering people, then I would need to bring cling film and plastic bags at least. State your business."

"If you drive me there I know you will snoop anyways, so why tell?"

Damn. He was good.

"Oh that sounds spicy, okay I'm in. But wait shouldn't we let Hongjoong know that we are going out? It'll be less suspicious that way - too many members have made the mistake of not having him on their side already."

"You make a good point, JOOOOOOOONG?" Seonghwa stood up to start getting ready. If he was to make it to the fan meet closing, he needed to be heading out of the door right about now. Yunho caught on and rapidly hobbled out to grab his jacket and mask against any in-car paparazzi photos.

"Yo?" Hongjoong poked his head into the room, and took a swig of the mid-evening coffee he had in his hand.

"Yunho and I are going on a trip." Seonghwa explained, whilst inspecting himself in the mirror, styling his hair.

"In our favourite rocket ship." Yunho returned, playing with the car keys, and decided that Hongjoong needed a bigger headache today.

"Zooming through the sky." Seonghwa understood the assignment and picked up on the song cue.

"Little Einstein." Yunho leaned over and whisper screamed into Hongjoong's ear, making him shudder and lean far back.

"What in tarnation?"

"Don't worry about it Joongie we shall be back shortly."

"Uh so no one will explain why??? NOR WHERE????"

Hongjoong shouted at the already closed front door.

But little did Seonghwa and Yunho know, Hongjoong had a talent for running down the emergency stairs of the apartment building faster than the elevator moved. And he also could hide behind the car so effectively, that the pair only noticed his form chilling in the back seat when Yunho had already started the engine and was about to drive out.

"Hongjoong WHAT are you doing here, how???" Seonghwa yelled after having his soul momentarily depart from his body when he saw Hongjoong's dark silhouette in the front mirror. In the meantime, Yunho was struggling to contain a fit of giggles, and was grasping onto the steering wheel for dear life.

"I have special powers. And I want to find out who you are going to go meet and hell's ass o'clock. I don't need another midnight concert-goer or gym rat."

"Don't worry, I'm more tame than that."

Yunho smiled to himself. There already was progress - Seonghwa was revealing more and more about who in the world he wanted to go see.

After having finally arrived to the location, with Hongjoong whining that it was so far and that the other members were probably already burning the dorms down, they stopped. Seonghwa made no move towards getting out of the car, instead looking off into the darkness, observing some figures moving about.

He was trying to make sense of where you were, so that he could find the best moment to enter the scene. The other two members went quiet at the same exact time, just observing Seonghwa, who seemed to have been able to locate a target.

He spotted you waving to a couple of people who just departed from the cafe, officially leaving you as the only one left. The cafe had already closed, so you were loitering outside, and checking something on your phone. Illuminated by the streetlights, you were like a fairy tale. It was difficult for Seonghwa to convince himself that it actually was you in front of him and not some illusion. What if it was just his wishful thinking? Well, only one way to find out.

He huffed, threw on a black cap and checked his mask was not wonky, and opened the car door. Hongjoong was about to call out to him, but Yunho was quick to react and rapidly extended his arm out, nearly hitting the captain in the face but at least preventing him from making noise.

Seonghwa bolted to you as soon as he looked around and confirmed that there were no curious eyes - he was not about to lose all rationality, as much as he wanted to.

Yunho and Hongjoong were watching the scene unfold with wide eyes and jaws dropped to the floor. Only now did Hongjoong realise that this weird outing was about that ONE YOUTUBE PERSON Seonghwa kept on watching. Hongjoong should have seen it coming, considering how a couple of members had found love via social media. Of course, Seonghwa was going to be an internet creep. How else.

"YO YUNHO WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

"Livestreaming for chat, duh. I'm sending updates."

"THE GUYS DO NOT NEED TO KNOW??? Hey give me the phone-"

"Can you even reach that far? Hah Woo is flipping out and saying he is sad he can't say 'no bitches' to Seonghwa every morning anymore."

"Seriously though stop sending pics this is literally-"

"Once ATEEZ, always ATEEZ. We know ALL."

When Seonghwa approached you and called you by your name, you were all ears. For some reason, you had felt the need to stay behind, just a little longer. Your heart had told you so - and apparently, it was clairvoyant or very well-attuned to world vibrations. Here was a mysterious stranger, clad in black, talking to you. Part of you was a little afraid, but there was nothing a little lab-made spray that was in your pocket could not do. You put away your phone, and began to reach for the item, but at the last second decided to ask for your fan's name.

Seonghwa could not lie. It would not sit right with him. Besides, he only recently had seen what kind of shit went down when that happened - also known as San fighting a love war on too many fronts. So, after a moment of deliberation, he uncovered his face, and quietly whispered a "Park Seonghwa..."

And that made you flip, as you clapped your hands in excitement, your face lighting up with the widest grin you could muster.

"SO WAIT WHO EXACTLY IS A FAN OF WHO? WHO IS TAKING PHOTOS WITH WHO?"

Seonghwa was unable to process, basically forgetting that he was an idol and people could know him, even though seconds ago he was in full sneak mode. Hearing you say his name with so much glee did things to him.

"Uh... I am... definitely... A fan... so..." he was trying to force out, unable to break focus from the joy you were experiencing.

"Well same here! And more specifically yourself! I'll be honest, it's one of your Lego assembly lives that did it and introduced me to ATEEZ, since uh, you know, we are fellow Star Wars appreciators."

Seonghwa totally was not contemplating whether it was considered too early to marry a person who he had officially met only a couple of minutes ago.

It was not the stage presence, nor was it the talent and skill oozing from this man that had been the thing that hooked you in initially. You had grown to appreciate that later, and became a bit of a fan, but what had been the little lightbulb moment that helped you discover Seonghwa and ATEEZ, was Lego. You were a proud internet dweller, and enjoyed traversing content that was associated with your areas of interest regularly, so as soon as you saw Star Wars and Lego in a just finished livestream on a channel called ATEEZ, you had to check it out.

And that was how you came face to face with an incredibly handsome, yet somehow still cute man who was raving about what was your favourite game, toy, arguably way of life, of all time. All at once. After reading through some comments that were under the video, you figured out his name, his occupation, that "his duality was no joke", that he was "ethereal and was making people melt", that people would be happy if he rearranged them like the little building blocks, that his name was star related... and that he was an avid Star Wars fan.

Well there was no choice for you but to at least respect this man. And that respect, quickly enough, turned into you listening to "This Is ATEEZ" on loop on Spotify, and making your colleagues passively memorise some of the songs because of how many times they had graced their ears. Their videos were probably the only deviation from the usual astrophysics lectures and movie clips that you had in your recommended on YouTube, and you were pretty happy with that. They hit your 2AM 'need to work on my five projects but am derailed by sleep debt and lack of caffeine' funny bone alarmingly well.

Once your a tid-bit oblivious self finally recognised the legend that was in front of you, you became an unstoppable wave of compliments. It was only fair, and the least you could do. He had come to your meet and greet, waited for hell knows how long, all while most likely having a billion other more important things to do.

Seonghwa was blushing into infinity, but you continued. You mentioned that you often cranked up ATEEZ tunes when working in the labs, and Seonghwa was ready to become total mush then and there.

Your conversation then eventually turned back to the original point of the fan meeting - to talk science fiction and outer space, and you stated that you would be more than happy to show Seonghwa some of the more serious work that you did. Realising that you were pretty much asking him out, Seonghwa was giddy, and wasted no time in agreeing with you and asking when.

Without thinking about it much and just deciding on the spot to take the risk, you ask for his phone, saying that ,such ventures would require closer collaboration', with a smile.

In the meantime, Hongjoong was screaming in the car, having a metaphorical heart attack, while Yunho was now on video call with the rest of ATEEZ, doing something similar to a live broadcast - an attempt which the captain could hear was being guided by none other than Yeosang, who, amidst the hoots and tease after tease, was explaining (unprompted) the theory behind live on-scene reporting as though he had been called on by a teacher.

Hongjoong could not take his eyes away from the exchange between you and Seonghwa. While he could not say many details about you, his friend was like an open book to him, and every twist, every turn, every tilt that he could recognise (no thanks to the distance between the parked vehicle and the two of you), Hongjoong could see that Seonghwa was deeply into you. Far too deeply for it to be just a little passing interest.

As Seonghwa texted you and you confirmed the numbers have indeed been exchanged, you suggested to take a photo together, so you could use each other's halves for profile pics and he decided that he was yours even if you did not need him in your life. A resounding series of 'brooooo's resounded from the call as Yunho tried to focus the camera on the scene, despite Hongjoong shouting 'creep' at him.

After setting up communication, organising what you both had agreed was to be a date and parting ways, Seonghwa waddled back into the car like the happiest duckling of all time. Literally could not speak while Hongjoong was punching his shoulder repeatedly.

Yunho shook Seonghwa's hand and Wooyoung could be heard HOLLERING over the phone and begging for Yunho to show Seonghwa's face, which was glowing. He became eternal sunshine.

For your date (and yes he kept on chanting this in his head) Seonghwa decided to make you a rose out of Lego, and glued it together so that it could be a permanent piece that would not be damaged while being transported. Whilst in the process of making it, he had to fight off the 99z menaces, only managing to get rid of them when he went against his nature and littered the floor with spare Lego pieces like a minefield.

Hongjoong has been on edge ever since the so-called fan meet, eyeing Seonghwa whenever he would as much as touch his phone, and try peek over his shoulder if he began to smile like a lovesick fool. The captain was doing just about the same thing now, watching Seonghwa as he was making finishing touches on the rose.

"Hey, Hwa, can I at least meet her? Or like learn more about her?"

"As long as you don't stalk me and her, and meet her not in person not right now, sure."

"Bruh."

"I know you can and do creep on the interwebs."

"Dang it. The sad part is that you're right. Okay give me just like.... a rundown? Can I trust her?"

Seonghwa, proud of the gift he had just finished making, was now in the process of tidying up, carefully wiping the floor.

"If it helps, she is the kind of person to have to-do lists, me and her literally have an agenda set out, and she sent all location and time details in advance."

"Shit okay she is responsible-"

"She participated in a rocket launch."

"YOU WHAT FAM??" Hongjoong was shaken. How did this person have time for everything?

"Yeah. She is an astrophysicist, so she wasn't designing the rocket per se, but contributed in a different project phase."

"Damn, she might even be able to understand the ATEEZ lore with that brain."

"Uh huh."

"Can I come with you?"

"No." Seonghwa shut the leader down with a smile, twirling the flower between two of his fingers, as he thought about the evening ahead.

Judging from your reaction to the surprise present, the rose might as well have been a newly discovered star - that was how you admired it, how you handled it, and how you turned into an automated praise dispenser towards Seonghwa - he was glad that the institute where you had decided it was safest to meet had a penchant for 'conserving energy' and kept the lights relatively dim, so you could not see just how red his ears were.

You decided that the best place to begin the tour would be the mini planetarium that was housed inside the institute. Seeing as you had exclusive access even after hours, it was an opportunity one simply could not pass up. As you led Seonghwa from one exhibit to another, and managed to guide him through it thanks to being here countless times already, you notice just how immersed he was, and caught flashes of near boyish excitement as you threw in a couple of references from popular culture, be it your favourite franchise or details from movies like Interstellar or The Martian.

Moving along, you led him to one of the stronger telescopes that were on site - even though they were not much compared to those in an observatory, and were more for fun rather than for research and real observation, it was definitely enough to make Seonghwa send out a barrage of questions regarding anything he could spot. To you, it was a rare occasion to meet someone outside of your field of work who was equally as excited about all things space. And of course, it was even rarer to have that person be a crush of yours.

Then, it was time for the final destination. Your pride and joy, one that you had spent quite some time decorating. Your office. Well, technically you shared it with other post graduates but they allowed you to go ham on the interior design so you considered the office to be mainly your space.

And THAT was where Seonghwa saw some parts of your collection, and was completely blown away. There was a glass cabinet position against a wall a bit further away from the entrance, and in it, he would spot The Razor Crest, a Hoth AT-ST, R2-D2, Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder, and many, many more. He gravitated towards the display, and his mind was spinning from the sheer glee of seeing such beauty. As he was taken by the sight, you left his side for a couple of seconds, and then returned, and poked his shoulder lightly.

When Seonghwa turned his head, he nearly yelped.

"Is that... A box... for the Mos Eisley Cantina?"

"Yeah, and I was wondering if you wanted to... assemble it, together?"

"A HUNDRED TIMES YES?"

You had never seen a man drop to the floor that quickly before. In a matter of seconds, Seonghwa was sitting, as one might say, 'criss cross apple sauce', and patting the space next to him, in front of him, wherever just please let's unpack this and get to it.

So you spend the whole night just making the model on the floor of your office, in your own little world, enjoying life.

Which of course meant that he came home at... 6AM, disregarding seventeen missed calls and forty-two texts from Hongjoong, looking like the happiest man alive. Which made the captain melt as he stored away the insults and scolding session he had prepared for later use - because it was Seonghwa after all, Seonghwa could be forgiven, and Seonghwa would make him clean the room probably.

So instead, he sat by Seonghwa's side as he flicked through photo after photo after photo, showing Hongjoong progress pics of the Lego assembly, with very aesthetically pleasing photos of you sprinkled all over his camera roll. It was far too clear - Seonghwa was down bad.

They had not noticed Yeosang slink into the room, but considering that he had stayed politely quiet, accepted his presence.

"Is my man... a goner? Do I need to ask my girlfriend to make a funeral fit?" Hongjoong asked.

"Hyung it is more likely to be a wedding fit do you see how smitten this guy is?" Yeosang interjected, posing a counter.

"Yeah and that is what scares me, I am barely keeping all of you guys under control and if this guy also goes off into a different orbit then I am actually going to be in a permanents crisis."

"Hongjoong you already are in a crisis... like all the time..." Yeosang was ready to fire this fine morning.

"And I am going to go into a melt down if Seonghwa is also gonna be out of it. My guy, if you crack and start sneaking out on top of spending so much time hell knows where I will actually lose my marbles, I need at least one responsible adult with me."

"Can I invite her over then? She'll be the responsible adult." Seonghwa quipped, stopping his swiping on one of his favourite photos of you, where you were concentrated on attaching a particularly small piece.

"Dude that is kind of..."

"Really she is so awesome. If anything, I would kick everybody else out." Seonghwa joked, though immediately apologised under his breath out of fear of getting the notorious slap of justice.

"Then what's the point?" Hongjoong was confused at the older member's logic.

"Well if you don't want me out of the dorms, that's my solution."

"I don't want you to be fully out of it, that's my point."

"Out of what?"

"The sigma grindset, maybe?"

"Bruh what even. Hypocrisy at its finest. Plus you yourself said she is responsible and an absolute legend." Seonghwa was not on board with the captain's attempts at stopping him. It only made him want to continue meeting up with you even more.

"That she is. I actually googled her not too long ago. Damn, she is... SMART. Have you seen how many sciency papers she wrote? And they are in journals!?" now that came to Seonghwa as a surprise. Although he knew a lot more about you in the personal sense, and enjoyed learning about your hobbies and interests, he had never fully dived into the work you did as he had deemed it above him, thus not a point of focus.

"Wait really? I did not look into that part, since I-"

"No you really have to take a look, it's crazy. If you think that her channel is intense with info, this is next level. Those papers lost me at the title."

And so, Seonghwa looked. And looked some more. Tried to read. Pretended to understand or at least skim and appreciate even though it made him progressively more miserable and planted seeds of doubt and ridiculous conclusions that he was somehow 'inadequate'. And on your subsequent dates, Seonghwa became more and more preoccupied with appearing 'smarter', rather than fully being himself. He wanted to be more academic with you, feeling like that was what you deserved. As days turned into weeks, he found himself regularly looking at your work, reminding himself that he would never be able to achieve this, and regarding you as someone out of his league. He was prone to self-doubt, and here, out of the blue, all fuses were blown and all alarms triggered. The final straw was when a student, younger than both of you, who was doing a research placement at the institute, gave you a call, and Seonghwa could understand virtually NOTHING that was said aside from hello and goodbye even though he was pretty sure all had been in Korean. He wanted to shut down. He could not imagine keeping up.

Thankfully, you knew a thing or two about stars and could tell when they started to shine a little less brightly.

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unknownarmageddon · 1 year ago

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Now playing: Hold Me Like a Grudge; Fall Out Boy

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More information below!!!

banner made by both me and chair!!

My main fandom is UTMV but I’m also really big on fall out boy, the wrecks, green day, hozier, nine inch nails, st. vincent, various other bands, birds, the QSMP, adventure time, studio ghibli films, horror, pokemon, twin peaks, and several video games (namely warframe, though many other as well)!! and just a variety of other stuff. you will get all of my bullshit

As of now I do NOT take art requests or commissions, so please don’t ask. (i may be open to the idea of art trades or collabs with friends/mutuals only) Also absolutely do not repost my art on any site!! especially without permission or credit. you can use my work only for personal stuff like pfps, banners, etc. as long as there is credit. however, my ocs and sonas, and art i’ve made of them, are not for personal use unless i know you well (fanart is fine). asking beforehand is also preferred if you want to use my art for something. thumbs up emoji

as a general warning I will occasionally reblog and/or post, create, etc things that contain blood and gore, disturbing imagery, violence, and similar themes, and several of my aus will more often than not include these as well

There will be absolutely NO dreammare, frans, or fontcest, or any similar ships, because they personally make me very uncomfortable, but lots of sanscest stuff, so. obviously don’t follow if that’s not your thing. but dont, in any capacity, talk to me about ship discourse i legitimately could not care less as long as no one’s hurting anyone. i am aware of who i’m following and i cater my own experience. thumbs up emoji

things i’ve written:

- Sirius (Ongoing)

- Bathroom Sink (Drabble)

- Christ Alive (One-Shot)

- Detours (One-Shot)

- Trinkets, Bits, and Bobs (One-Shot)

- Our Spot (One-Shot)

extras/tags/links/whatever:

- #armageddon art ; art that’s mine tag (fanart. uhh mostly fanart)

- #wip ; unfinished snippets of whatever drawing i’m working on at the time

- #rambles ; text posts tag

- [this used to be #armageddon rambles woah, so that’s where most of the other things i’ve said are]

- #answering asks ; self explanatory

- [asks are sorted via “[url] asks” and “anon asks”]

- #sona ; main sona tag

- #fursona ; main fursona (lazarus) tag

- #plaguesona ; plague doctor sona (jasper) tag

- #jimmy ; jimmy tag

- #armageddon’s fanfics ; tag for shit i’ve written

- #sirius ; tag for my main ongoing fic

- sheep’s head ; tag for one of my own original projects (currently i’ve done practically nothing with it yet but plan to in the future)

- #creepy stuff ; tag for horror/surreal-adjacent art i’ve reblogged

- [there will be blood, gore, and just generally dark subjects under this tag, and i typically don’t tag specifics for each thing i reblog, so feel free to filter this one as needed]

- #cool ass forests ; forest photos (and some art) i think are very very neat :]

- #banger art ; tag for more general art i find rad

- [all other interest-related tags are just the thing, ie #fob or #birds or #studio ghibli or whatever]

- UT AU Masterpost ; has information, references, etc, for most of my original aus and aus i co-own with friends (i recommend you check this if you’re looking for something specific, i promise it should be helpful)

- art-only blog

- AO3 account

- send me an ask with 🎱 and i’ll give you a song i listened to recently!!!

Last image (left) from psycho-chair!! 1st and 2nd gifs from glassofpumpkinjuice, 3rd gif from filmtvtoday, 4th gif from inthedarktrees; second gif at the very top from chair dividers from here

#Pinned post #masterpost #last updated november 24 2024!!

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rainingstorms1220 · 6 months ago

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

Oooh uh uh that's difficult. Let's see...

1. My OCs and stories

Literally my only motivation to live. I'm very, very attached to my kids—they are the culmination of my blood, sweat, tears and soul. So anything revolving around them makes me very happy, inspired and motivated. I will do everything for them!! Art, writing, even making games if I can! Merch too! Plushies, accessories, anything and everything. All for them. The thousands of little fictional people, worlds and stories living rent-free in my mentally ill brain.

Bonus happiness points when other people also like my kids and are interested in getting to know them better. Like, if you take the time to approach me and ask questions about them, are willing to sit through hours of me rambling your ears off about characters that spawned from the depths of my hellish critter mind, and also actively want to discuss them with me and tell me all of your thoughts—that is like the ultimate quality to my quality time love language right there. It's the most idealistic, unrealistic, impossible thing ever though, mostly because I have a lot of kids and like. 20+ different stories with several more AUs. To have someone else be able to digest all of that information? No way. But yeah.

Fanart and fanfiction of my kids also make me very happy. I will treasure each and every one of the art pieces/writing dearly. Basically anything related to my kids, I will cry over. I will explode over my kiddos.

2. Various media

As of right now, I'm fixated on Twisted Wonderland (LEONA), Bleach (HITSUGAYA AND HITSUKARIN), One Punch Man (METAL BAT AND BATAROU) and Blue Lock (RYUSAE AND KAISER). Very much waiting in anticipation for the TWST anime, Bleach TYBW Cour 3, OPM Season 3 and Blue Lock Season 2 + Nagi movie. I'm also really invested in the Final Fantasy series (III, IV, VII, IX, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, Crystal Chronicles EOT and ROF, etc...)! And I'm a casual player of Punishing Gray Raven (very much looking forward to Wuthering Waves by the same company)!

I also like books! Haven't been able to read as much as I'd like to these days, but I have books I've bought that I hope to read soon. Gotta read Six of Crows (yes, Lune, I'll finish it). Have also been wanting to collect Bleach's light novels (CFYOW currently). And TWST's novels and manga too, once they're translated (Savanaclaw manga and novel C'MERE)! Much to look forward to <3 Fanfics of media I like are also really nice to read. When I have more time, I'd like to write for the fandoms I'm in.

Pretty art is nice. Good games are nice. Good stories and wonderful characters are nice. Beautiful writing is nice. I'm very simple haha, as long as the media strikes my fancy, chances are I'll look into it and derive some form of enjoyment from it <3

3. Writing/Drawing

If it wasn't already evident from the above two points, as well as my own profile, I like to write and draw. Very much an arts kid (creativity is another thing that I'm not sure I have, but let's not get into that). I'm not good at speaking, so having visual representations of the things I feel, be it via written words or artwork, is the best way for me to express myself and communicate, I find. And it's also fun! When I'm not preoccupied with other IRL commitments and stuck in creative ruts, that is.

4. Music

I know nothing about music theory or playing instruments. Not a music kid. I just like listening to good music. In particular, I'm a big fan of J-Pop, J-Rock, Rock, Instrumentals, EDM and Dubstep, Gothic-sounding music, and others, depending on whether they strike my fancy or not. Favourite artists/bands include Tatsuya Kitani, Aimer, Mili and ONE OK ROCK. Banger musicians. You're free to drop recommendations too! I'm pretty open to most genres. Though extremely selective with a few others (K-Pop being one of those genres haha oops).

5. Spending time with friends

Pretty clear cut, I think. I don't have a lot of people I'm particularly close to, but I do cherish those I consider my friends a lot. Quality time love language—just spending time with them makes me happy. We don't even have to really be doing anything. I just like having their company, and if they willingly seek me out and want to spend time with me too, that's even better.

And yep, that's all. I can't think of anything else haha. Thank you for the ask, beloved~

#laments of rain #i also like sweets #but that isn't really that important #as you can tell #I'm quite delusional #delulu is the solulu as they say #i have no life so i spawn life within my brain #it's a very funny thing #but i love my work anyway #love my kids #the light of my life fr

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azuredrg · 1 year ago

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Taking good gposes without reshade or 3rd party tools

this post was made for like, 2 of my mutuals. full disclosure i dont entirely gaf if you do or do not use plugins or reshade- but a lot of tutorials i can find usually like to say "use shaders!" instead of showing how vanilla tools are good. this ones for you console players. It's a bit lengthy so I kept it under the cut for scrolling convenience.

My character only has cosmetic mods on for this tutorial. I did not use anything that I could not access using vanilla methods and menus, my shaders are off for this demonstration.

PART 1, some tricks in the gpose menu

a few that I personally have picked up from poking around in the menu this is one I like to use for decent angles, minions!

Any minion that could sit on your shoulder (head for lalas) is like a second camera. I use nanamo here as an example as she's relatively easy to get and Midgardsormr does not get on your shoulder with /beckon the way other minions do

left is nanamo targeted, and right is with my character targeted. See the difference? This could give you a different variety of angles that would be difficult to achieve otherwise

I also like using tools like the talking animations to get different types of expressions. you could achieve a D:< face like above, or a :D face if you use /smile

last trick and one I will be using for this tutorial is Explorer Mode accessed via duty finder, this allows you to use battle moves that could assist in a more dynamic shot, as well as letting you access cool dungeons to walk through

like this! though if the effects are bothering you you could turn it off with this button, please note that you cannot turn off battle effects for every move

Part 2, let's get gposing

Now that you have an idea and pose (I used whm lb3 to get this) when you enter the gpose menu, the first thing that you'd notice is that it is very dark. Manual light adjustment usually remedies that

a look at what i have used, and a walk through of what every button does. I forgot to mention screen effect, which again is pretty straightforward- in the past I've used the particle effect to be more "glittery." though do feel free to play with it.

You may notice in the back of the picture, there is a blue torch. I really want that blue light to hit my character, but it's not doing that now because ffxiv's lighting engine was nerfed tremendously to help load. All I have to do to give that light to my character is move the camera in the position I want it to (i put it as far back as possible so I am as close to the torch as I can be)

et voila, there is now blue light. The way lighting works is that you have 3 lights, and each with 3 "types" type 3 is most intense, while type 1 is the least. The sliders show which color is most intense, I just slid blue up all the way to have it be the brightest.

nearly forgotten about the pesky shortcut portal though. to hide this you can switch to the bottom most button in the lefthand column, and switch from "show all" to "self only" though if this is a group shot, change it to "PCs only" (i think thats the term)

you could also see in this shot my "character lighting" slider is up, this is how intensely light affects your character- mine is relatively low here because I do not want the light to be too intense.

and lastly, i used limb darkening (as well as using the cinematic frame in the 2nd button lefthand column. the one not affected by camera movement. I find the frames pretty straightforward but let me know if you'd like me to talk more about them) you could tell the difference in mood. left is without, and right is with. It depends on the vibe you want, but I personally always think a teensy vignette can do a lot for a picture

and with that, this is the final result, and the one I showed at the beginning! Though not necessary, you could always take it a step further and run it through an editing program (personal recommendation if you want something free is photopea, which is an in-browser photoshop replica) or even using photography knowledge like rule of thirds & color story. but this is still much, much better than what we have started with.

how far we've come....

#ffxiv #ffxiv gposers #gpose tutorial #dunno what to tag this as. hayy #this is more of a walkthrough and me explaining the process than anything but i still hope its helpful

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uozlulu · 1 year ago

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50 questions for fic writers

@darkangel1791 asked that fic writing mutual answer these questions, and so here we go~

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) I’d start with a oneshot. The one that’s been the most well-received is a SPN/Teen Wolf (MTV) crossover about Stiles having an unreciprocated crush on Dean called Crush. The oneshot I think represents my style as a writer the most would be my BnHA/MHA fic called …save…. about Shirakumo overcoming Kurogiri’s programing enough to ask Aizawa to help save Shigaraki. The oneshot I think I did my best work on to date would be my IwtV (AMC) fic May You Get What You Desire Is a Curse upon the Dead, that explores desire via Devil’s Minion. I think this is my best oneshot, if not overall fic, because I alternated between two POVs, one in the past and one in the present, and I don’t cringe when I reread it.

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits? Mine are 1) Originally posted to Fanfiction.net, 2) I Blame Tumblr, 3) Crossover, 4) Additional Warnings in Author’s Note, and 5) Other: See More Story Notes. I think that it does represent me as a writer because sometimes I wrote very long warnings lists and author’s notes because I always have something to say.

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? I write a lot of stuff where someone’s not!straight because I myself am not straight. I also write quite a bit of romance because it does fascinate me, but I’m also drawn to platonic pairs with strong bonds too.

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of? I spent a lot of time researching stuff about Japan to make my Banana Fish manga AU where Ash joins Eiji on the plane to Japan called Best Laid Plans work. I looked up school schedules, cultural notes, train ride durations, flight durations, food, culture, 80’s history, Google street views, etc…etc… The ending ended up being a bit of a you love it or hate it ending unfortunately, but I am proud of the work I put in to make the fic happen.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now! I don’t think I have any specific questions off the top of my head, but if anyone has some fic-specific questions, my inbox is always open for them

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself? I should have been more clear that in my Black Clover soulmate AU Names and Promises that Asta and Yuno are platonic soulmates and said their first words to each other.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? I’m really proud of my work on my BnHA/MHA soulmate AU Our Soulmate Academia because I fleshed so much out and had so much fun with things like quirk swapping and what life for an underground hero might entail, etc…It was also fun trying to guess what Horikoshi might do in the canon and try to avoid doing something too similar.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)? I want to do my Vampire Chronicles (AMC) inspired playlist as a fic series, but I do not have that kind of free time unfortunately.

9. How do you find new fic to read? Most of the time it’s whatever shows up via my subs in my inbox. But sometimes I just pick a fandom I want to read from and see what new fics are around

10. How do you decide what to write? Sometimes it’s based on a Tumblr post I read like my IwtV (AMC) crack fic We Have Thieves based on some Night Island (AMC) posts I’ve seen. Sometimes I’m filling in some blanks from canon like my Kakuriyo: Bed and Breakfast for Spirits fic Promises and Oaths where I hypothesized some things before the anime finished. Sometimes I watch something unrelated and it inspires a fic like the time I watched that Monuments Men movie and then wrote my Captain America Steve never becomes a super soldier AU called If No One Else Will. Sometimes I get inspired by other fics I’ve been reading like my Sherlock Holmes fic The Mystery in the Fog.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? I’m a perseverative person by nature. Sometimes I blink and have like a handful of Devil’s Minion fics because it gives me brain worms or when I was in high school I always had an Inuyasha fic in my fic rotation because I loved that series so much. There was also a time I wrote too many Thick of It fics because I kept using the characters as a way to take a break from the novel I was working on at the time and several Tumblr users were giving me attention for those fics.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? I started out pretty homophobic when I first started writing fanfic because I was very sheltered. Now I’m just very not straight and the characters I gravitate towards aren’t either. I also wasn’t into reading lemons but now I don’t mind them as long as there’s some sort of plot with it outside of the sexy times.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore? I’m not sure. I’ve never really been big on searching out specific tropes, though sometimes I will go looking for stuff like those fics where someone swaps places with their younger self and the younger self gets to be in shock at their potential future.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? If the AO3 author I trust the most wrote something like omegaverse I don’t think I would follow because that might be a step too squick for me.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written? I really like my Black Clover/Boruto crossover The Land Across the Sea where Boruto washes up on Clover’s beach, runs into the Black Bulls and Golden Dawn, and then some of both squads take him back to the Land of Fire, which is coincidentally the same country Yami came from. It was a speculation of what post-Spade Arc could be like written before the current Black Clover manga arc. (I wrote this because I think Yami and Naruto would have been friends growing up and they’re roughly about the same age if you take their ages at the start of their mangas in relation to publication year into account).

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)? I think we need more Claudia lived fics in the IwtV (AMC) fandom. I also want to see Present Mic be more students’ mentor in fics.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? I want to write a BnHA/MHA AU where Class A has to travel back in time to save Yagi kind of inspired by Tenchi in Love. I’ve written a chunk of it but I hit a wall and I can’t seem to move forward with it.

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? I’m not sure. No one’s made any sequel requests in years.

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve? I want to take my IwtV (AMC) fic Dream a Memory of Me and remix it now that I have more memory and knowledge of what I should be doing with the characters. Louis also deserves to be utilized in a less haphazard way for the ending. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to do this so it’ll just have to be a testament to how much I was raring and ready to write Iwtv (AMC) fic that I didn’t take the time to refresh my memory properly before embarking on it.

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? I’m not sure but the novel I’m currently working on 100% could have a prequel but I think that might be too much for me because I’d have to delve deep into my time in middle and high school more so than I’m already doing for that novel.

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be? Usually if a scene gets send to my dump file, there’s a good reason it’s not in the fic.

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why? If it’s a Black Clover fic I’ve written, my favorite character is always Asta. He’s just so loud and friend shaped. I can’t help it. Like a little anime nephew.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? I’ve written so many. I think counting the fics lost to time and space, I’ve written probably close to or just over 300 fics since 2001. I think a lot of the ones I want to do I’ve already done maybe even twice over.

24. Are there any Easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they? Occasionally I make small references but frequently they small enough I can’t think of them off the top of my head.

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write? I usually just use Word, Excel, and Google to find things.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue? No dialogue. Only dialogue can get confusing without being able to use said.

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process. It took me a year and two months to get Our Soulmate Academia ready for posting. I wrote it as a giant first draft, edited it while breaking it into chapters, and then spot checked it before posting it. That’s the general way I do all my fics in the last few years. Makes it easy to finish chaptered fics.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who? I used a beta way back in the 2000’s, who proceeded to steal my fic and post it as their own so I’m the only person who reads them before I post them with the exception of Kitty who has severed as my Britpicker many times.

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want! We Have Thieves has its own little mini mix technically. The songs I reference in the fic are: “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, “Holy Diver” by Dio, “Little Red Corvette” by Prince, “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads, and “Beat It” by Michael Jackson.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? I wrote some smut for Best Laid Plans since part of the plot was unpacking Ash’s sexual trauma and sexuality. I kept it kind of simple and tried not to make it a spectacle. I’ve written other smut in some orphaned fics. Recently I had the opportunity to write smut in a couple of my IwtV AMC fics but I chose to fade out of the scenes instead because I don’t want to write smut in a manner that feels exploitative (which is why I orphaned the fics I did. I thought they were kind of exploitative and that’s just not how I want to be remembered).

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write? I’m not sure. I ordered my fics by word count and found that the 1,000 word mark occurs roughly half way down the list, so I think I just write whatever word count suits what the fic ends up being unless it’s a drabble that’s to a specific word count.

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read? Usually I try to keep it to under 10,000 unless I’m feeling ambitious or the fic summary is too good to pass up.

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read? When I was in high school and university I would cap my chapters around 5,000 words especially because I was writing drafts without editing them and then just posting them like a weirdo. Now I like to write the whole thing out and if it’s over about 15,000/20,000 or so words I break it into multiple chapters of usually 5,000 – 10,000 words in length.

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life? I 100% used my own mom as inspiration for how to flesh Bakugou’s mom out in Our Soulmate Academia.

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life? I have never been kissed. I can’t drink and I can’t drive. So, naturally I’m drawn to having a bit of romance in a good chunk of my fics because it fascinates me in the way that space or dinosaurs, etc… fascinate me.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write? If I can’t see a little movie playing in my head then I’m not going to be able to write it. This is also why I get compliments on my action sequences. I can easily visually keep track of everyone involved at all times.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? I wrote a My Life in Film and BBC Sherlock crossover called Distortion that I think worked out fairly well. I think the fact My Life in Film is an obscure TV show didn’t help it in the popularity department. I chose the crossover because Andrew Scott is in both shows.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful? Only two of my fics have made it into people’s collections. They’re both Black Clover fics. The first one is Rest Young Soldiers which speculated on how the Spade Arc might end, and All Fortune Plays End where I speculated about how Asta’s devil powers might take over his body. I think I did a good job writing both fics.

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who? It is not. I just do what works for my brain.

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? I do reread them. I like to reread my own as they come up on people’s bookmarks of my fics. I also have a trash memory so sometimes I reread fics when out looking for new ones and become that one Gandalf meme when I try to leave kudos.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.” I have 28 recs out of 138 bookmarks and I feel this way about all of my recs.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason? I got some flames back in my SPN days that graphically described how I should burn in hell for the fic I wrote. I also still think about the nice reviewer who complemented me on my Daniel characterization on my first IwtV AMC fic since that fic is pretty weak compared to my other ones in that fandom.

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? I’m not sure because I can’t remember which fics are prompt fics. But I always love writing them.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? I don’t really have a preference. Though sometimes I’ll accidentally take it in a strange direction because that’s where inspiration took me.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Editing hands down. I’ve gone from only running the spell check and immediately posting the first and only draft to doing a two round editing process.

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write? On my computer is preferred. Typing on my phone is obnoxious no matter what I’m doing.

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes. If my SPN fic Burn Mark were shoes, they’d have the mark of Michael branded into the toes and the soles would be made from metal like a cage. The leather would be well worn, possibly almost worn out and the shoe laces a little dirty.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? The last fic I read was the latest chapter of Only Human by bandedbulbussnarfblat. If human AUs for IwtV (AMC) aren’t your thing, then I highly recommend The Human Perspective by the same author.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! I am currently working on my novel so no sharing.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! I’m not really sure. I’ve been posting fic online since July of 2001. I have a lot of thoughts about it but not sure which to choose from. If people want to know more you all can always send me asks or messages about whatever questions you might have.

#darkangel1791 #adventures in fic writing #adventures in fic reading #fic recommendation #(it's one of the last questions)

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grittybugs · 11 months ago

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🍖🌈BUG🌈🍖

Hi, I’m Bug and this is my proshit blog! I’m a 19 year old artist who lives somewhere in North America. Given that my blog will contain gore and suggestive themes, I recommend that my followers are 16+. Anon asks are on for now, but I will turn them off the moment I get threats. That being said, I will not being answering DMs on this account or disclosing my main account, because I know the antis reading this (despite all my warnings lol) are gonna act goofy. I will probably post some of my art but my art will not reflect my morals or who I am as a person, think of this almost as a vent blog. You may use any pronouns you’d like for me. Please read my DNIs and CWs before proceeding, and please do so with caution. God bless 💕

DNI AND CWS: 👇

🍖 i do not post, share, encourage, or tolerate callout posts unless the person in question has been PROVEN, with real evidence, to be sexist, gross, predatory, etc.

🌈I would say homophobic, racist and transphobic people but I seriously doubt those kind of people would listen to a colourful DNI… still, I’m putting it out there that I don’t support that shit and if you try to start a conversation with me with those kind of beliefs, then you’re getting blocked buddy.

🍖 art tracers/reposters/editors.

🌈 DNI if you’re an anti. Take care of yourself and don’t self harm via consuming content that you know will upset you, you deserve to treat yourself better. :(

🍖 As another reminder, I will not be answering DMs on this account! My last proship blog was flooded with DMs of real gore both of real animals and real people, and I do not want the same to happen here. If you need to contact me urgently, please leave an ask with anon off, and I will approach you. However, if your blog seems fishy and I believe that your ask is bait, I will most likely block you.

🌈 As another reminder, I will not be disclosing my main account on this side blog for personal reasons, because I know ya’ll Antis go crazy with the doxxing, the death threats, and the distribution of real CSEM and gore, so I will not be sharing any information I consider to be personal or a threat to my privacy.

🍖 please do not ask me unprompted to draw your oc.

🌈 please do not give me art requests unprompted.

🍖 as a quick heads up! If you find yourself feeling brave enough to send me hate, with anonymity off, I will pin your username to my profile for about seven to twelve days, so that my mutuals & friends are given the opportunity to make their blog safer by blocking YOU. While I will never condone or encourage harassment, please note: that I am not responsible for any blacklash you receive from this, as the actions are strictly yours to make and the consequences are solely yours to bare. <3

FANDOMS IM IN:

🍖 Adventure Time

🌈 Invader Zim

🍖 Helluva Boss

🌈 Fionna And Cake

🍖 The Owl House

🌈Hazbin Hotel

🍖 FNAF: SECURITY BREACH

🌈Cuphead: Don’t Deal With The Devil

#proship #anti anti #comship #proship safe #DNI #16+#15 and below dni #CW

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amousewithnocheese · 2 months ago

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yeah i love fish very much :3 its kind of a problem i have fish stuff all over my bag and my notebooks have fish stickers and my feeds on social media are all cute animals and fish, i dont really know why i picked the dog emoji now that i think about it but ive kept is for so long anyways

yes!!!! i have a sleepover with my friend on friday! im so excited because i almost never have sleepovers with her since we both are taking hard classes and we are so so excited :D

this is kind of random but this year i feel so happy because i feel like i finally foubd my group of people like i get along with everyone in that group and theres no drama and we are all into similar things and like they never make me feel left out it makes me so happy to finally be included

anyways back to the sleepover i dont know what we are gonna do tho we were thinking of movies to watch but we cant think of anything lol im still excited anyways!!!!

-🐶

oooo okay im going to try to respond to this quickly so you don’t have to wait too too long :)

i love that you love fish!! a lot of my special interests i keep internally (like my phone rn is spiderman themed but i don’t have stickers or anything sadly) but i love that you express yours!! turn your entire everything into fish themed. buy a fish themed couch.😄😄

yay! i love sleepovers so much actually; i haven’t had one in a while but they’re happy happy happy~ i hope it’s so fun and great!

im so happy for you!! finding your people is so satisfying and affirming and makes you feel good inside and you deserve that! i hope/believe it’ll work out lovely for you, 🐶 :)

(im the kinda person to give people casual nicknames in conversations so im gonna use peoples tags as if they’re names hehe)

hmmm you could watch some early holiday movies? like the nightmare before christmas hehe orrrrrrrr uhhhhh some mutual shows you guys both enjoy? if you guys like cartoons boy do i have recommendations B)

also i dunno if this is too sappy (forgive me if it is) but thank you for conversing with me via asks! it makes me really happy :)

#agere safe space #agere caregiver #safe agere #sfw agere

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jessicanomics · 8 months ago

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tl;dr I have a love-hate relationship with TurboTax.

TurboTax is sleek and auto-imports forms, but be ready to pay. I suggest you try other websites like FreeTaxUSA or Cash App if you want to shop around your tax filing fee.

---

A letter to TurboTax and anyone who uses online tax software,

I remember when you were on a CD. Every January during my formative years, my dad would wait until the coupons came out and we ventured to Office Max to buy our annual tax software. We even filled out the mail-in rebate forms, because that's what good taxpayers do. How else were we going to fund the Beanie Baby investment strategy I was pitching?

Fast forward, TurboTax is now a sleek website that tricks you for a moment into thinking taxes may be cool. After asking for an EIN and Document number from your annual tax statements, your 1099-B and 1099-DIV are automatically imported (including all those numbers in a tiny font like 199A Dividends or Foreign Tax Credit.)

Just like TurboTax grew up, your taxes just sprouted 3 more forms, and that's going to cost you in software fees. I'd be curious to run a poll: Did you pay any foreign tax this year? Most folks would be surprised to know that their answer is 'Yes' due to their investments in mutual funds or indexed investments.

All of a sudden, now your easy 1040 tax return needs to claim a foreign tax credit, and you feel like a CD in an Airdrop world.

TurboTax fees are a source of moral dilemma for me every tax season. I've seen returns that had 0.59 cents in foreign taxes trigger an $80 add-on to the TurboTax return fee. Also, I hope you didn't pick up that side hustle to crawl out of poverty; this adds a Schedule C and will cost you. TurboTax charges by type of form, and certain "extra" forms bring you to the next level of pricing. I especially find issue with this when the form is the Retirement Savings Credit, which is a tax credit for low-mid-income people who save for retirement via an IRA or 401k. If you are filing this form, chances are good your finances aren't in great shape. And here comes TurboTax, charging you extra.

I get it, I'm a for-profit corporate accountant. On paper, this is a great revenue strategy because you can advertise that a simple federal return is free. To be fair, if you are someone who has a 1040 and applies for the Earned Income Credit (tax credit for the poorest who have jobs), you can file for free (if you're lucky enough to get past all of TurboTax's tricks to get you to upgrade).

It feels like whack-a-mole trying to click through to file without accidentally upgrading. Every third page TurboTax asks, "ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY MORE?" effectively negging you with the words 'audit defense' while filling out your tax return. As If my palms aren't sweating enough, bring up the idea of an IRS audit and see if I want 'protection'. It feels like I'm hiring TurboTax to be my heavy.

God forbid you make a mistake and upgrade; it's going to be a challenge to go back. TurboTax makes you delete your entire return if you want to downgrade.

So why the letter? Because taxes are intimidating, and you simultaneously make it much easier to complete them with your sleek, well-designed software, but then you add a layer of mind games with the constant pop-ups to upgrade.

What is the solution? TurboTax remains the sleekest tax software out there, but it comes at a high and misleading cost. I recommend trying some other websites to calculate your taxes. It may be an adjustment and take more time to input all of your personal details up front, but you may be saving money in the long run by switching software now.

Hot Tip: do your taxes in TurboTax anyway and see what their fee is. Then, do your taxes again in the second software. You know you're right if the tax due/refund on both is the same. Then you can feel confident filing in the cheaper program.

Further Reading:

This is not tax, legal or accounting advice. This material has been prepared for informational purposes only, and is not intended to provide, and should not be relied on for, tax, legal or accounting advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and accounting advisors before engaging in any transaction. This is a personal opinion only, and not one representative of any other party's opinions.

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atrayo · 1 year ago

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Channeled Angelic Wisdom of the Jewels of Truth Series on Justice & Apostasy

Hello All,

Here at the tail end of this month of May 2023, I'm posting two channeled angelic heavenly statements via psychic Inspirational clairaudient automatic writing. The first one on Justice is slightly heavy-duty as a topic. However, certainly, the 2nd topic of Apostasy is controversial, to say the least. The angel here shares the blame with Judaism, Christendom, and the unholy feud between Islam and Hinduism stating God's disappointment at the whole ordeal.

Doing this as my spiritual devotional outlet at times very therapeutic on a psychic Intuitive basis. It has transformed me for the better the content although at times intense can also be flowery as poetic and philosophical in holy nature. I often consider myself as a young sage and mystic, perhaps even an amateur theologian with this 27+ year ongoing angelic heavenly host discourse. With over 4500+ topic statements on a litany of eclectic subject matter from the mundane well into the extraordinary in a universal divinity.

If this is your very first reading of my Intuitive angelic materials then you've jumped into the deep side of the swimming pool. I would rather recommend as a shameless plug to please consider my 3 volumes of the "Jewels of Truth" series of paperback books published by iUniverse. (ie also in Amazon Kindle, Ebook, & Barnes & Nobles Nook formats)

Without a further adieu may you be at least intrigued by expanding your beautiful spiritual horizons whether you accept the premise or not of these topic statements. Amen.

Justice:

3232) Towards each of your merits whether those of the unforgiven will suffer immeasurable discord being unable to alleviate such pain in their solemn lives. Their wants will turn to ash before their very eyes. For yearning for the very objects and people as riches and powerful status they can ill afford to gain presently.

Here is where fools come to tread only to achieve their ill-gotten spoils instead. This is so because of their prior stances with miserable unethical conquests they have sunk into personally. Such an ill-advised journey forestalls the good by traveling the byways of ruin within the shadows of this chaotic world.

The best punishment from an all-knowing Supreme God Almighty is to give them all they have desired with the weight breaking nearly their hearts, minds, and shoulders in life. To pursue the riches and the status of this world without merit and mercy as living compassion for each other. Then suffer the consequences to avail yourselves a trajectory that is best not to tempt the fates.

The status and riches of this world aren't evil just how they are obtained as destructive in personal nature versus creative and mutually constructive is far better. To have greed and lust for wealth and other people feeds your minds and hearts poisonous ruin with contempt. Regardless of this is a man, woman, and even a child yearning with flights of fancy as a person of rotten character.

No matter if shrewd wisdom as machinations by criminals and fallen political leaders as proverbial charismatic False Prophets deceive the masses. As the dictum says that the path to Hell is paved with good intentions.

However, in a very paradoxical universe we each find ourselves deeply within currently. The path of the Heavens can be equally paved with conditional unwittingly selfish intentions in a hap-hazard capacity. Many a hero or heroine have started with petty intentions only to be transformed personally on their life's journey to be redeemed by God and the Heavenly Host.

Both Heaven on Earth and Hell on Earth rule simultaneously here upon this physical and metaphysical universe you call Creation. These realms of the afterlife are subsequently Perpetual States of Being and not spatial locations of the hereafter or of Infinity. Thus the Great Mystery of God(dess) persists for the penitent heart to resolve hopefully within a lifetime or many reincarnated lifetimes.

When Justice is perverted by dangerous miscreants of the State as your political leaders and/or civil public servants. Their ultimate glory as reigning fame becomes the ruin of the victims impacted be they innocent and guilty alike in question.

Although when Justice is indeed virtuous in a noble well thought fashion it redeems and forgives all with Mercy. Even for the once fallen from grace by ill-repute. This becomes a consecrated act of holiness for the earth and the lesser heavenly limbo where personal sacrifice is rewarded with prosperous dignity and redemptive peace.

This is how to ascend within a lifetime back to God by faithful praises and to put aside the discordant chaos this world exudes relentlessly. Please choose to become beautiful and handsome angelic-like spirits within the eternal "Now" and this Infinite "Here" of the Kingdom/Queendom of God(dess) everlasting. Allow forgiveness to become a staple of personal Inner strength and each of you will witness the redemptive Glory of God before your very eyes and hearts forever. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Apostasy:

3233) The ways of a wanton world obfuscate the truth in order to subjugate the old with the new using blatant falsehoods as sheer propaganda in question. All major religious traditions often led by Great Patriarchal movements tend to whitewash their misdeeds by subverting the truth and projecting falsehoods in their place.

For instance, Christendom has victimized the elder indigenous faiths of paganism of the Old and New World altogether for centuries. When the grandmotherly Slavic matriarchal spirit of pagan Old Eastern Europe of Baba Yaga encountered Christiandom she was soon demonized as a child cannibal predator. All in an effort to steer worshippers into the Imperial Churches of Rome and Byzantine.

Another example of Christendom is when the Ancient Roman Empire converted to Christianity away from Hellenism. The Ancient Greek Creator lesser deity of Lucifer was soon falsely associated with the Infamous Satan the Devil. Again to uncouple their populace by literally demonizing the old religious ways for eons for the new Christian Church of Emperor Constantine.

The sins of great religions must have accountability before Almighty God with divine transparency for all the faithful concerned. Your modern age notwithstanding truthful non fear-mongering democratic ideals that no one is above the law. This shall include man-made religious traditions bearing false witness for centuries and eons to date.

This includes the Great and Holy Lands of Judea when the Pantheon of the now foregone Ancient Semitic Canaanites prevailed. Where the children of Abraham knew of the old ways where the Wife of God was known as Asherah and Shekinah was the feminine face of God. Here in the Lands of Canaan, the Jews worshipped the chief lesser Creator deity of "EL" before they migrated into monotheism.

Thereafter the deified son of EL otherwise known as Bhaal the fertility god of Life and the Storm god of rain and dew and also Lord of Heaven by the Phoenicians of Bhaal Shamen in such a polytheist society. Was demonized by the Jews as a Devil in order to scapegoat on the altars of discord to decouple from such a once proud religious tradition.

This is not to mention the sacrilegious tendencies to falsely accuse the Jews by the upstart Christians. To persecute the Jews falsely for centuries within Old Europe and now the modern world. For even Holy Christos was a young Rabbi in his day and his religious movement was meant as a sect of Judaism. Such an inter-religious sibling rivalry of covenants is malaligned before the Eyes of God Almighty.

To further declare profusely that the children of Islam of the Great Prophet Mohammed Eternal Peace is Upon Him Forever ordained by God himself! Have clashed upon the Indus Valley vehemently with the noble Hindu of Lords Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. Fierce mutual hatred in certain circles has led unto Hell on Earth as a falsified state of hellish being for such proud peoples and worshipers of God.

This power struggle within Mother India for cultural supremacy leaves no one as a direct winner. Only losers will inherit woe, destruction, and bitter rivalries to no end in sight. Such is the way of the apes and not the holy children of God irrespective of religious tradition upon the world. Please heal this god-awful curse of a religious blood feud seeking to cultivate Heaven on Earth together culturally, spiritually, and humanely by the Divine Will of God.

To victimize innocent older spiritual and/or religious traditions for the gain of the newer spiritual and/or religious faiths upon the world. Is a mighty disservice to all worshippers of the holy divines and an act of sheer destructive Apostasy that has no place upon the noble-hearted. Such an Orginal Sin to borrow a tenant of the Roman Catholics is of no good to certainly modern well-educated societies the world over.

Penance and mutual healing through forgiveness and accurate inclusive spiritual education where the slander and libel truly happened by overzealous religious leaders must occur. Otherwise, the sins of the man-made Patriarchal Temples, Churches, Mosques, and Holy Shrines will persist well into the afterlife for the ancestral dead to bear witness before God in Judgement. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 27 plus years of his life to the pursuit of clairaudient Inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic Heavenly host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also channels conceptual designs that are multi-faceted for the next society to come that are solutions based as a form of dharmic service. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 17 years plus online. You're welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.

#JewelsofTruth #AtrayosOracle #ivanpozoillas #automaticwriting #God #angels #psychic #theology #spiritguides #justice #apostasy #christianity #judaism #islam #hinduism #spiritualwisdom #metaphysics #Mysticism

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lindwurmkai · 1 year ago

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Super interesting discussion imho. Yes, actually - why the hell do I need to be told that [long-term mutual] reblogged a post from [former mutual friend whose username I'm tired of seeing] or [popular author I find annoying]?? People have been trying to solve that problem via extensions (like if you really don't want to see someone's username) for as long as I can remember, but it's unnecessary information to begin with.

I'll admit, I like finding out that two of my mutuals are now also mutuals that way. But you can just as easily arrive at that conclusion via guessing, and depending on their blog theme, you may be able to confirm it by directly visiting their blog. I like that we can make any information we want available on our blogs that way, but can also choose simplicity if we prefer. :)

Some people in the notes are saying they actually discover new blogs to follow by observing that one of their mutuals reblogs from them a lot. That's one thing that would be lost, I guess? Idk, the only reason I would ever check out someone's blog for that reason would be if they had a particularly interesting username but everyone's different.

Technically, features like "in your orbit" should fulfill a similar function, but it doesn't work in practice because many people make their likes private and even those who don't often have obscure liking habits (personally my main reasons for liking are "bookmark" and "emotional support", which is a strange mix to say the least). Not to open myself up to accusations of supporting "twitterification", but I always enjoyed the "3 people you follow also follow this account" thing Twitter had going on before I left - I feel like Tumblr needs better network-type recommendations in place of whatever the hell "based on your likes" and "in your orbit" are trying to do. "Beloved mutual so-and-so reblogs from this account a lot!" or "5 people you follow also follow..." would work much better imho.

Anyway, I'm a big proponent of prominent avatars on the dash and very glad they won't be removed. Nevertheless, I think people are being a little unfair to Cyle here, who as far as I can tell is in this instance simply speaking as a long-term user of Tumblr who happens to have unusual preferences. He was not responsible for that decision, had nothing to do with its implementation, and simply expressed an opinion like anyone else. I don't shit on people for preferring the top navigation bar layout, which I hated since the day it was introduced. Someone not liking avatars on reblogs is equally inexplicable to me, but I'll accept such people are out there.

WAUGH THE PFPS ARE BACK! THANKYOUUU

don't thank me, i think i was still arguing to remove them, but cooler heads prevailed

#imagine not having to be reminded of former friends when the ''former'' is there for a reason! revolutionary #or that one BNF you hate etc.#;;

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xxatinyminionxx · 3 years ago

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| Works - Page 2 |

**Everything I write is fictional, for entertainment purposes only and written via my opinion. All works are gender neutral unless otherwise stated. Pictures + Gifs in my works/posts are NOT mine unless otherwise stated. DO NOT REPOST, you can REBLOG. | Let me know if I miss anything !

( Go back to Page 1 ) | *posting new content on this page*

—

ENHYPEN

Lee Heeseung

🥀 Gluttony 🥀 (Oneshot) 🔞*

Park Jongseong

Jay + Nipple Sucking (Imagine) 🔞*

Kim Sunoo

Holiday Heartbreak ☁️💧

Cheers! ☁️🎉*

Fluff A to Z ☁️

His reaction to your nipple piercings 🔞❔

NSFW A to Z 🔞

The Best Birthday Gift Ever 🔞☁️*

Sunoo Day Posts 2022 📝*

A Road Trip with Bestfriend!Sunoo 🚙 ☁️

Ni-Ki

Fluff A to Z ☁️

Multiple Members

[Legal line] MTL Have A Bulge Kink 🔞

[Legal line] Reaction To Giving You Head 🔞

[Legal line] MTL Be Into Pregnant Sex (@/jaylaxies reblog) 🔞

[Legal line] MTL Be Into Dirty Talk ⚠️*

[Legal line] S/O Waking Them Up To A Blowjob 🔞

[Legal line] As Types of Sex Partners 🔞*

[Legal line] MTL Let Sexual Partner Decide What To Do In Bed 🔞

[Legal line] Reaction to Giving and Receiving Hickeys 🔞*

EN- Legal Line MTL Likely to Lose No Nut November 🔞

EN- Legal Line’s Reaction to You in Lingerie 🔞

[Legal Line] MTL Agree to Make Adult Content With You 🔞

OT7

Enhypen Making You Flinch During An Argument 💧*

Enhypen’s Holiday Playlist 2021 ☁️*

MTL Best At Wrapping Gifts In Enhypen (W/ Pictures) 🎉

When Enhypen Is Under the Mistletoe With You ☁️🎉

MTL Like to Plan a Date for Their S/O ☁️*

Enhypen as Participants in a Korean Dating Show ☁️*

Enhypen Finding Out You Play Piano (by @/0x1lovebot) ☁️🎉

Tomorrow x Together

Choi Yeonjun

Skaterat!Yeonjun Headcanon 🔞❔*

Choi Beomgyu

NSFW A to Z (by @/muselin + my additional comment) 🔞*

Kang Taehyun

NSFW A to Z 🔞

What You Were Looking For (Imagine) ☁️

Huening Kai

Mutual Rush (Drabble) 🔞

OT5

MTL Use Handcuffs/Blindfolds (Giving or Receiving) 🔞

MTL Like Anal 🔞

TXT’s Holiday Playlist 2021 ☁️*

MTL Best At Wrapping Gifts In TXT (W/ Pictures) 🎉

When TXT Is Under the Mistletoe With You ☁️🎉

MTL Into Receiving Head 🔞

TXT Having An Idol Crush (Imagine/Reaction) ☁️🎉*

TXT’s Reaction to Cockwarming 🔞

ZEROBASEONE

OT9

When You Say Their Name (Imagine/Reaction) ☁️🎉

Alice In Borderland

Chishiya Shuntaro

Getting to Know You 🔞

Bada Lee

Bada with Benefits 🔞

Miscellaneous Posts — Highlights

(Search the tags for much more!)

ATEEZ

HIRE THEM (ATEEZ x Squid Game Tiktok) 🎉*

Enhypen

Anal w/ Heeseung 🔞*

SUNOO’S DUALITY (Tiktok) *

🦊 + 🐈‍⬛ ☁️*

Hard Sunghoon Thoughts: One 🔞*

Heeseung can GROWL 🎉*

Jake would end me over not using British/Australian English 🎉

Sunoo being a mood pt. 1 🎉

Sunoo plotting to end us all like… 🎉*

SUNOO. IS. SO. HANDSOME. (MAMA 2021)

Last Gift From Teenage Sunoo 🥺 (Tiktok) ☁️*

Jake + Jay Tag Teaming You — One ; Two 🔞*

Dark Moon Webtoon Thoughts — One

Sunoo helping with black!reader’s hair ☁️❔*

Tomorrow x Together

Gyu Summing Himself Up In A TikTok 🎉*

Beomgyu is the View (TikTok) *

How is this not Yeonjun? 🔞*

The Star Seekers Webtoon Thoughts — One

Other Groups

Optional Bias + Fingering 🔞❔*

masseuse!y/n x client!felix (Stray Kids) 🔞*

The feminine urge with Chaeryeong 🔞*

Minion Things

I have A Oneshot To Finish… 🎉*

Korean girl x You 🔞*

My Biggest Fear 😵‍💫 *

Minion’s Followers Survey (#1) Results!!! 🎉☁️*

Minion’s Followers Survey (#2) Results!!! 🎉☁️*

Goodnight To: (Sub Enha Enthusiasts Discord Edition) *🎉

3NH4 I5 0UR C0MP4N10N ;) 🎉☁️💧*

Minion’s Followers Survey (NSFW) #3 Results!!! 🔞*

My Spotify Wrapped 2021 *

My Tumblr Year In Review 2021 *

Figuring Out I Like Sweethearts As My Bias (feat. P1H Jiung + Enha Sunoo) *

Minion RPs Masterlist — Page 1 📝*

Minion Awards 2021 Nominees + Winners *

Spotify Wrapped 2022

—

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thevirgodoll · 4 years ago

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hi, im 16! I worry way too much about others opinions. This is clearly stopping me from doing what i really want. I need advice for self love, self confidence... What would you say to your younger self ? ☺️

Hey love,

1. Get to know yourself authentically.

Getting to know yourself is a lifelong experience, and it starts to take shape from the age you’re at. Begin to visualize what you want for yourself. Begin to connect with yourself - via past times/hobbies (writing, dancing, painting, singing, etc). If you have hobbies, you’ll be so busy with yourself that you won’t really think about others.

Ask yourself: “What does being me look like? What do I love to do? Where do I see my life going?”

Journaling helps you think this through, I always recommend this to people. You can reflect on where you are in life, and where you want to go. You can set your intentions and it helps you tremendously. The universe will reward you once you begin setting your intentions with yourself. You can physically journal in a cute lil’ notebook, or digitally on journaling apps - such as Day One app. Day One can go on your Macbook and your phone. I use both physical and digital.

You can also make vision boards of the type of life you want to have - a YOU vision board, print out what the best life and your future looks like to you! Add high value women on the board that you would emulate, such as Beyoncé or Rihanna. Make it cute. Or if you are more digital, make one on Google Slides and get pictures from Pinterest, or create a private board on Pinterest.

2. Create boundaries.

Once you get to know yourself, you will realize what you will tolerate as far as people you encounter. When you don’t have healthy boundaries, you are susceptible to always thinking about what people think, and you get taken for granted. The advantages of boundaries are stable mental and emotional health, developing autonomy, growing an identity with yourself, and nurturing self love.

You have to always ask yourself:

“Is this person adding value to my life? Do they respect my boundaries?”

You cannot allow your boundaries to be violated. There are no exceptions to this rule, because if you do make any, it violates the relationship you are building with yourself, and that is a lifelong relationship. I say don’t give people second chances, because they will use it to take advantage of you.

Be clear about YOUR boundaries and don’t ACCEPT disrespect. Core Personal Boundaries I Live By:

-Valuing your own feelings. You do not owe anyone an apology for how you feel. It is your own job to monitor how you feel and how others make you feel. You don’t owe anyone anything, but you owe yourself validation. I will not value other opinions over my own. i will not anticipate what other people are thinking or needing.

-Never oversharing with someone. Maintaining a semblance of privacy, because your life is your own and people can plot on your goals. Do not share too much of everything.

I will not overshare my goals and desires with someone. I will not speak about my personal problems with everyone.

I will not share every detail of my life.

-Knowing your personal needs and communicating them. If you need to defend yourself, communicate such. If someone is hurting you and they’re supposed to be your friend, be direct. Protect your emotional space ALWAYS. Never compromise this for other people.

I will take responsibility for my own emotions and needs, always.

I will protect myself.

-Not wasting time on social media when you’re bored. Instead, work on your hobbies, journaling, etcetera. When developing your self love and confidence, wasting so much time on Instagram for example is not going to help you. You have to focus on yourself.

I will put more time into myself everyday, rather than social media.

I will not waste time on social media.

-Never accepting less than mutual friendships and relationships. Once someone has proven themselves to be fake, do not accept this. Once someone has proven that they don’t care about you, do not accept this. Only tolerate what you deserve. If they give any less, remove yourself quietly from the situation and move on.

I will not tolerate toxic friendships or relationships. I will always remove myself from any situation that is not good for me.

I will know and understand what I deserve, and I will not accept less than what I deserve.

-Avoid people who are negative. If you are hanging out with negative individuals, they will infiltrate your life and wreck your mindset. If someone is always complaining, always jealous of you, always criticizing, and isn’t going the direction you’re going, again, no remorse. Don’t allow it.

I will not have a friend circle of negative, jealous people.

I will always put energy into people who put positive energy into me.

The reason why I am so sure of myself and sure of my dynamics in my life is because I have strong boundaries with myself and others. Setting them may feel weird or wrong at first, but this is so important and it saves you so much heartache.

3. Reinvent yourself.

Ask yourself: What does the new me look like?

Confidence is all about how you command yourself. I have already said the following things on my blog on my posts about confidence, which you can find here: confidence.

Start thinking like you are the most important thing in the world, because you are. Begin working on your posture when you walk in a room. Wear outfits that make YOU feel good. They don’t have to be what anyone else says but you!

If not, you need to make sure you have routines dedicated to yourself. A routine day and night including your skincare/hygiene, saying 3 things you know to be true about yourself in the mirror (I am beautiful, I am blessed, I am blossoming) say those every single day, meditation and yoga, some tea, and your journaling like I said. Every. Day. Do not slack.

Have a pampering/self love routine: hair is on point, nails are on point, makeup is on point. Body is on point: bubble baths/relaxing showers, lathered in cocoa/shea butter after, and perfume. At night, have a cute robe, cute slippers, cute pajamas. Go to the gym some days, or just do workouts at home, or stick to the yoga, as it does make you sweat with certain poses.

4. Foster independence and don’t look back.

Being your own best friend is the most important lesson to learn in life. You have to begin to develop your autonomy from now to the rest of your life. Be more independent, make sure you are fixing your own problems and not involving everybody and their mama, learn to rely on you, and manifest opportunities and goals on your own time without involving everyone so heavily. In a generation where everyone is so interconnected via cell phones, you will stand out because you are confident, independent, and focused on you. You can have fun with other people, but the difference will show when you only engage with high value individuals. Make sure you’re productive: studying or working, and make sure you understand the days where you need to relax and resort to serious pampering.

This will begin your journey to self love and confidence, and not worrying about everybody else!

#advice #answered #confidence

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