#finally i have the pleasure of presenting you my magnum opus. i first started making this monstrosity on january 11th

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Did anyone order Al's ridiculously self-indulgent Miles Edgeworth playlist? No? Too bad.

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: Different Media Thursday

I’ve been looking forward to writing this installment of @cap-ironman rec week all week. There’s some phenomenally creative fanworks out there centered around these two goobers, and it is my absolute pleasure to bring them to your attention.

Best Fansite Ever!!

Creator: FestiveFerret

Word Count: 468 + a website

Summary: A blast from Tony's past gets him caught in a PR nightmare. 

Why You Should Check It Out:

Ferret’s another big name in the Stony community, and a pseudo fairy code parent who we can go to with our internet booboos. They’re also a kickass, prolific author in their own right, and an afternoon spent going through their fics would be an absolutely delightful afternoon.

Ferret busted out the coding skills with this fic, both in the email skin and, most importantly, in Tony Stark’s pseudo-geocities fanpage for Captain America which... Christ, there is no description of it that could do it justice. I don’t think I laughed so hard in ages. There’s a link in the fic, or you can click here to see for yourself. I’d say you won’t regret it, but for those of us old enough to remember those sites (and who maybe made one or two)... you might feel some sympathy cringe for Tony on this one.

The Stark Guide(tm) to Mission Reports

Creators: coffeesuperhero and sabinelagrand

Word Count: 1025 (kinda)

Summary: With annotations by Clint Barton, and further annotations by Phil Coulson, and questions from Thor Odinson, for whom this was all written in the first place.

Why You Should Check It Out:

This one just baaaarely qualifies as Stony but honestly, it’s so good I don’t even care (and it’s tagged with Stony, so it counts). I can’t comment on the authors as I haven’t checked them out individually, but if their stuff is half as funny as this they’re worth a look.

Thor needs help writing mission reports. Tony has written a handy guide to help him out. Clint, Coulson and Thor all have notes (and Tony has responses). The result is a fic in the format of a memo covered with everyone’s scribbles. This is another one for the “Wow, I didn’t know I could laugh so hard I would pull a muscle” file - the jokes all land beautifully, the mental images are sublime, the implied backstory is hysterical. If you’re looking for something short and sweet and flipping hilarious to read, I can’t recommend this one highly enough.

And on the third day of ficrecs, we’re finally getting to some self-recs. Am I biased on these? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t rec them if there weren’t a lot of other people independently confirming they’re good fics, Bront.

An Avengers Powerpoint Party

Creator: gogglor

Word Count: 4,769 (kinda)

Summary: The Avengers threw a Powerpoint Party. These are their slides.

Why You Should Check It Out:

Some time ago there was a TikTok going around where someone imagined what the Avengers would present at a Powerpoint Party (here’s what that is, for the unfamiliar) and I couldn’t resist putting my own spin on the idea.

Team bonding fics are a huge weakness of mine, and I had a lot of fun writing the team letting their hair down and getting silly with each other, in the format of Powerpoint slides they prepared for each other. Here’s the first slide of the first chapter:

Need I say more?

Caught Up In Our Stories

Creator: gogglor

Word Count: 40,689 (kinda)

CW: Brief mention of past parental abuse.

Summary: Someone's cast a spell on Avengers Tower that has changed each floor into a different kind of story, and trapped the Avengers inside. Steve mounts a rescue mission, starting with Tony Stark, PI, a noir detective who's got a thing for blonde bombshells who bring trouble to his door.

Why You Should Check It Out:

This here was my pandemic magnum opus. I got the idea to trap the Avengers in as many story-telling mediums as I could and just sorta... got borderline carried away with it. I’ll probably never attempt anything that was this much work again, but I’m glad I’ve got something to show for all that time spent inside, and very pleased with the way it turned out.

I’d describe the story of CUIOS as our favorite two dingdongs figuring out they like each other, woven into some good old-fashioned team bonding while facing the consequences of past choices. I’d describe the medium of CUIOS as a ludicrously complex kitchen sink lovingly assembled by someone with way too much time on their hands. If you want to be surprised at the mediums I use, stop reading here, and don’t read past the first few story tags on AO3.

.

.

.

.

Here’s a taste of some of the contents that don’t spoil the story, just some of the mediums. In this work you’ll also find, among other things, a choose your own adventure game, a Western movie script, a crayon drawing, a comment section flame war, and a robust debate on which anthropomorphized floor of Avengers tower would be best in the sack. What’s not to love?

Just be glad my sister talked me out of making paper bag puppets too.

That’s it for today! Tomorrow is Laugh-Out-Loud Friday and considering I am pretty much always on the look out for fics that make me laugh, I’ve got some really great recs waiting in the wings for y’all.

[zrtranscripts]

Radio Abel, Season Six

Part 3 of 6

The following section takes place after S6M6, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And that's it for us, citizens.

ZOE CRICK: Not "it" it, but it for a while.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yes. In a show of comradeship with our close allies, Fort Canton, we'll be -

ZOE CRICK: Comradeship? Don't tell me Amelia didn't bribe someone to get this to happen.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, there was an offer to second some of Canton's best runners to Abel long-term, yes. But that's just the sort of mutually beneficial -

ZOE CRICK: Like I said, bribery.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Anyway, we're going to be off the air for a little while to free up this frequency for Fort Canton's very own Bernard, the voice from the township that's going to be tearing up the airwaves in our absence.

ZOE CRICK: That was terrible! I mean, even graded on a curve of your terrible wordplays, that was bad.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, sometimes I'm just not feeling it. But we'll be back before you know it. This is Radio Name Pending, signing off. For now.

BERNARD PRIOR: Ahoy-hoy to you, fair listeners! Bernard Prior here. Welcome to my very first broadcast out on jolly old airwaves with the thrilling premiere edition of New Canton Today! I'll be keeping you up to date with all the movers and shakers in the shark-infested waters of our local political scene! [laughs] As it were.

But before that, I'm going to play you some sounds! Spinning the vinyl. [laughs] Good gracious, old Bernard is a disc jockey! So here we go. Kicking off with a special favorite of mine.

BERNARD PRIOR: Welcome back to you, dear listeners. So, I'm sure you're asking yourselves, if you have even an ounce of [?], what is that old fool doing on my wireless? What is this New Canton Today malarkey? Well, let me tell you, listeners, this is rather momentous for me, because I'm going to be talking politics.

Funnily enough, I considered going into the old politics, or perhaps the Foreign Office. You know, back in the day, when I was a young sapling. But it was not to be for your erstwhile Bernard Jr. However, our bountiful Lady Fortune has smiled upon me now, because the world is in a state of political turmoil. And the hub of that turmoil? Why, our very own New Canton.

So I welcome you now to a radio show about our modern world politic. I welcome you, friends, to New Canton Today!

BERNARD PRIOR: That was an appropriately dramatic track for our purposes. But now, tally-ho. Onwards, friends! Lickety-split, for there is more. New Canton Today is not merely an in-depth guide for you, faithful listeners, to the current state of our brave new world. It is going to be filtered through the enlightening lens of fair Lady History!

I studied a smidgen of history as a whippersnapper, and of course the old politics, philosophy, economics, and such like, and I am here to tell you all about how the ancient ideas of our forefathers are still at work in the fiefdoms and city states we see emerging today. Gripping stuff, what? Stay tuned, my friends! Stay tuned.

BERNARD PRIOR: Ahoy-hoy once more, and welcome back to New Canton Today, with me, your humble host, Bernard Prior. Now, let me present my thesis. I have heard our current times described as uprecedented, and while I don't dispute that we don't have a great deal of precedent for zombies running around all over the bally place, that aside, I have a humble theory, which is to say that these times are very much precedented.

If you will allow me to demonstrate, let me cover first the rudiments of Plato's Republic, a work of genius that outline principles we still use even today.

AMELIA SPENS: Plato? Oh, give me strength. This is meant to be a fast-paced topical show, not ancient bloody history.

BERNARD PRIOR: Why ever not? I'm explaining the origins of democracy, Amelia. What could be more topical?

AMELIA SPENS: Good grief, your listeners must be tuning out in droves. The ones who are still awake. Stop droning on and play a tune to liven things up.

BERNARD PRIOR: I don't quite know why you're here, Miss Spens. This is meant to be my show. You said division of labor. You said you run New Canton, and I, as your deputy, get to have a radio show.

AMELIA SPENS: You do! This is that radio show. Look at all this... radio... stuff.

BERNARD PRIOR: I know. But I thought it would be all mine.

AMELIA SPENS: It is! Sort of.

BERNARD PRIOR: Stop moving that fader, you'll bring up the next – oh! Too late.

BERNARD PRIOR: I just didn't expect you to be copresenting with me, Miss Spens. It's always a pleasure to be in your fragrant company, of course, but New Canton Today is very much my pièce de résistance. My magnum opus. I see myself as the auteur, the driving force, the big cheese -

AMELIA SPENS: Big ego, more like. Now stop being so silly. I can bring a lot to your show. Who knows more about local politics than me?

BERNARD PRIOR: True. But don't you have more work to do, in doing... whatever it is you do?

AMELIA SPENS: Maybe I like spending time with you, Bernie! Now, here's the stuff for your next bulletin. Make sure you read it all out on air. It's riveting stuff.

MAXINE MYERS: Welcome back to Ask Dr. Maxine. Today's question is from someone writing under the name It Pays To Be Prepared. Prepared asks, "Can I self-amputate to remove a limb with a zombie bite and prevent the infection from spreading?"

Well, Prepared, it's remotely possible that if a torniquet is applied immediately after a bite to an extremity, and the surgery performed without delay, an emergency amputation or cauterization might prevent the infection from spreading. I don't know of any experimental data to suggest success, however.

PAULA COHEN: You know, given the alternative, it might be worth a try, with the subject's consent. However, I'd recommend keeping them restrained and under observation for at least 72 hours afterword. And to be prepared to carry out more extreme containment measures if they do, then, go gray. Sorry. Take care of yourselves.

BERNARD PRIOR: Welcome back to New Canton Today! The latest news is that a new security allegiance has been formed between the First New Nation of New Freedom, and the Wombles. Oh, how jolly! Do you think they're the actual Wombles?

AMELIA SPENS: No, Bernard, I think they're a group of unwashed hippies who happen to live on Wimbledon Common and think they're being adorable. If they picked up litter, it would be a bleeding miracle. Personally, I think they actually count as litter themselves.

BERNARD PRIOR: Oh. That is disappointing. I was hoping for a bit of childish wonder, there.

AMELIA SPENS: You were hoping for the real Wombles?

BERNARD PRIOR: It is possible, with mutations and such like, perhaps?

AMELIA SPENS: You're ridiculous.

BERNARD PRIOR: Thank you, Miss Spens.

BERNARD PRIOR: Oh, listeners, that was what I call a banging tune! When that beat dropped, well, I tapped my feet, let me tell ya! This is New Canton Today with Bernard Prior, comin' atcha like Cleopatra! [laughs] Quick aside, listeners, Cleo was actually my first crush. What ho? Heavens, Bernie, I didn't know you were that old! [laughs] You cheeky blighters! I merely had a much-loved copy of A Boy's Illustrated Shakespeare. I have a thing for kohl to this day. Now, shall we have another? Oh, I jolly well think so. Boom! As they say.

BERNARD PRIOR: Now, Amelia has gone to conduct some nefarious machinations, allowing your humble anchor man to finally get back to the point.

[clears throat] The first thing to recognize about our current political climate and the constantly changing political geography, our endless redrawn maps, is that this is not a new situation. Not at all! In fact, this ramshackle collection of townships and dukedoms, city states and smallholdings, is how mankind has often chosen to live. In ancient times, in the stem duchies of medieval Germany, the clans of bonnie Scotland, the homesteads of the American frontier. Oh, all over the blinking shop. This is not, dear friends, a calamitous sea change. Rather, on the grand stage of world history, this is a return to normality! I will concede, normality plus zombies.

MAXINE MYERS: Paula stepped out for a moment, but our current question is from Pulling Your Leg, and it, uh... oh, it's a greeting card with a puppy on the front. This didn't come by email. "Dear Dr. Maxine, I'm sorry about the Infected in Essex question. I wanted to give you a headstart before other letters started rolling in, but it seems like you're going fine on your own. All love, HRH Jamie I, by the grace of God, King of England."

Oh! Thanks, Your Majesty! It was a kind thought. It's good to know that my instincts aren't all bad. Just so you know, though, if anybody involved in this gets a necrotic wound, maggot debridement is the first line of treatment from now on.

AMELIA SPENS: You know, Bernie, your last broadcast was actually quite fascinating.

BERNARD PRIOR: Thanks for sounding so surprised, dear heart.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, you are quite impossible to compliment. I don't know why I bother, sometimes.

BERNARD PRIOR: I was not aware that you ever bothered. Now if I could just go on to explain the Balkanization of the Ottoman Empire -

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, do. But first, what is a stem duchy?

BERNARD PRIOR: It's a kind of biscuit.

AMELIA SPENS: If you're going to be like – wait. Is it?

BERNARD PRIOR: No. But if you do have a biscuit, I am rather peckish.

AMELIA SPENS: I do, actually. Shall I play a track while you put the kettle on?

BERNARD PRIOR: You know, Millie, pleasant as this is, tucked away in a warm studio, imparting wisdom to the unwashed masses, the afternoon sun dappling the grass through the window, there is one thing missing.

AMELIA SPENS: I know. It's a finalization of Radial Territory's import-export pact. Perhaps I shouldn't vent like this on the airwaves with my status, but ugh! Those people! You'd think they'd never had a basic trade deal explained to them. Sad.

BERNARD PRIOR: No, that is actually not what I'm referring to. I can live without you being able to offload a surplus of cable knit pullovers. It's these biscuits. These biscuits, as I'm sure you are aware, are deeply inferior to the great prince of biscuits. The king, duke, nay, the God of the cookie kind! I'm talking about Jaffa Cakes, my dear lady. Have you noticed it's been a while since we last saw one?

AMELIA SPENS: Jaffa Cakes? Are you being serious?

BERNARD PRIOR: I am, as the young people say, as serious as cancer. Where are my goddamn Jaffa Cakes?

BERNARD PRIOR: I've considered asking that nice Sam Yao from Abel about the critical Jaffa Cakes situation. You know the chap.

AMELIA SPENS: Of course I do.

BERNARD PRIOR: Lovely man. So polite. And energetic! Excellent qualities in a young person. You know, if I was 20 years younger -

AMELIA SPENS: 20? More like 40 years younger. Wait. What? If you were 20 years younger, you'd what, exactly?

BERNARD PRIOR: Why, I'd challenge the lad to a game of one-on-one cricket. No point these days, though, sadly. He'd trounce me, with my knee.

AMELIA SPENS: I see.

BERNARD PRIOR: What did you think I meant?

AMELIA SPENS: Nothing! Nothing.

BERNARD PRIOR: I never really knew you were so interested in politics.

AMELIA SPENS: I'm interested in power, Bernie. All forms of power. Knowing who's allied with who, what could be more fascinating? I am surprised not everyone keeps up with it.

BERNARD PRIOR: Perhaps because it's so complicated. Even an aficionado such as I has trouble. Who are the First New Nation of New Freedom?

AMELIA SPENS: They're a group of ex-security guards. Basically, three vans full of bad tempers and cricket bats.

BERNARD PRIOR: Cricket bats? How jolly. Do they play?

AMELIA SPENS: They play at threatening to hit people with cricket bats.

BERNARD PRIOR: Oh. More disappointment.

BERNARD PRIOR: Still no Jaffa Cakes, I notice.

AMELIA SPENS: Hmm?

BERNARD PRIOR: I've been investigating the bickie drought. It's quite mysterious. No one has seen hide nor hair of a smashing orangey bit for months now!

AMELIA SPENS: They've probably run out.

BERNARD PRIOR: Unless there's more to it than that.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, really? Like what?

BERNARD PRIOR: Like a conspiracy!

AMELIA SPENS: I doubt it. Look, we have Hobnobs.

BERNARD PRIOR: Hobnobs, pah! Hobnobs, Miss Spens, are not fit to kiss the booted toe of Lady Jaffa Cake! But I ask you this – why should we have a glut of Hobnobs and yet not a whisper of the Jaffa Cake? Hobnobs have their fans, misguided as they might be, and yet one biscuit vanishes while the other persists. It grows rummer and rummer, if you ask me. Listeners, fear not. I will get to the bottom of this travesty.

BERNARD PRIOR: This is Bernard Prior, and you're listening to New Canton Today! Keep it locked! Oh yes, [laughs] I'm really getting the hang of this. This is Bernie P. on the airwaves, bringing you education, chat, and tunes every afternoon on New Canton Today! This is Bernard Prior, bringing you teatime tunes and biscuit bangers! [laughs] Nice.

BERNARD PRIOR: I've been tracking the movements of the last known shipments of Jaffa Cakes. Guess where they were last tracked?

AMELIA SPENS: Your tea tray?

BERNARD PRIOR: Radial Territory.

AMELIA SPENS: No!

BERNARD PRIOR: Ah, now she's interested, listeners! Now she's interested. The game is afoot, if I might make so bold.

MAXINE MYERS: Today's question is from On Everyone's Mind, who asks, "Dear Dr. Maxine, who's working on the cure? Is there a cure? I am not sure how much longer I can keep doing this without some kind of hope."

[sighs] Well, Everyone, there is no cure. Yet! But a lot of people in various locations, including myself and Paula, are working on treatments and preventatives, and I am hopeful that before too long, that we will have something in trials. I – I wish I could tell you something more definite, but I just can't, right now.  Look um, let's uh... let's just go to a song now, shall we?

BERNARD PRIOR: Ahoy-hoy, dear listeners. And that blistering track leads me very nicely into today's politcal section. Yes, that's right. Amelia Spens, my occasional cohost and head girl, is off flexing her considerable deal-making muscles, leaving old Bernie free to delve into the murky depths of political history. How about time for some jolly old Marx on this gray afternoon? Das Kapital, what what?

AMELIA SPENS: Give me strength.

BERNARD PRIOR: Amelia? You've sneaked in again. I thought I'd locked the door, as we're on air.

AMELIA SPENS: I know. I've had a master key made. Opens every door in New Canton. It's just a little more convenient. For me. And it means I can get in here in case of urgent news, or if I don't want you to know I'm coming.

BERNARD PRIOR: I see. How typically resourceful. And is there any urgent news?

AMELIA SPENS: Nah. Actually, things are pretty quiet. But I thought I'd stop by and make sure your program wasn't veering into the murky jungles of the deadly dull again. This is meant to be a fast-paced, modern, topical show. Have you considered doing some humorous skits?

BERNARD PRIOR: Not really. So no Marx?

AMELIA SPENS: No Marx, Bernie! Play a song, and if you must do this educational thing, find something a little more dynamic for your poor listeners.

BERNARD PRIOR: Change of plan, listeners. Today, I would love to talk about the very appropriate, upbeat, and dynamic Signor Niccolò Machiavelli and his seminal work, The Prince.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, much better! This might even be interesting.

BERNARD PRIOR: Indeed, it will. And we'll be right back with that after this.

BERNARD PRIOR: Now, ever patient and radiant listeners, I did say I would love to tell you about Machiavelli's The Prince, a work which, from memory, contains a wealth of advice and guidance to the stripling ruler of a fiefdom in how to make allies and subvert enemies. The incisive thinker Machiavelli invites the prince to put his own interests at the heart of his policies, for are not his interests those of the nation?

Now, listeners, I would love to read you some favorite passages, if I had a copy of the book. Sadly, I don't. And as you're probably aware, Amelia, the British Library is on the other side of the wall.

AMELIA SPENS: Is it?

BERNARD PRIOR: It is. And most of the smaller libraries have been raided for fuel.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh yes! I did a roaring trade in book bundles a while back. "Roaring" trade, get it?

BERNARD PRIOR: You sold books for burning?

AMELIA SPENS: Of course. People were cold, Bernie.

BERNARD PRIOR: But Amelia, books! The knowledge of humankind. Would you set light to the Library of Alexandria because you got a bit chilly?

AMELIA SPENS: People weren't chilly, B. They had hypothermia. You think a person freezing to death shouldn't burn a book to stay warm?

BERNARD PRIOR: It's the principle!

AMELIA SPENS: Really? They ought to freeze?

BERNARD PRIOR: Perhaps not. It's an interesting quandary. I know to you, it made a tidy profit.

AMELIA SPENS: I had overheads.

BERNARD PRIOR: Listeners, I think that is as good a lesson on the politics of self-interest as I could have taught with a book in my hand. Until next time, try not to burn any books unless it's a matter of life or death.

AMELIA SPENS: Or profit margins.

BERNARD PRIOR: Welcome to New Canton Today. A new trading bloc was formed yesterday afternoon between Radial, Pop Max and Kix after talks between Kix and our own New Canton broke down late last week under mysterious circumstances.

AMELIA SPENS: Damn them, damn them all! Let me tell you, I will crush them!

BERNARD PRIOR: She doesn't mean that, listeners.

AMELIA SPENS: I do! I promised Kix wheelie trainers. How could they betray me like this?

BERNARD PRIOR: I think I'll play a track, let our glorious municipal leader rant in peace. And stay tuned. Remember, we have that exclusive interview with the Minister coming up soon! Send me your burning questions.

BERNARD PRIOR: And now on New Canton Today, dearest hearts, some jolly thrilling news! Coming up very soon, a series of live interviews with our new world leaders. First up, a real coup! Although one hopes not a literal coup. [laughs] The Minister herself has agreed to participate in a brief interview with the aim of "bringing the loyal people of Fort Canton to their senses."

So, shall we have sense or nonsense? What say you, listeners? With what questions would you like to probe, provoke, and perhaps preempt the woman who calls herself the ruler of the United Kingdom? Send me your questions for the Minister, Sigrid Hakkinen, as soon as you can. And don't go anywhere. Stay, as they say, tuned.

BERNARD PRIOR: Millie, do sit down.

AMELIA SPENS: I can't believe you've asked me to be on your program.

BERNARD PRIOR: Think of yourself as a special guest. Perhaps not that special, given how regularly you appear unscheduled. But this time, I want your input on the most pressing matter covered by New Canton Today.

AMELIA SPENS: If it's another discussion of Nietzsche, I'm pulling the plug. Literally, I'll pull this one. [boing sound effect]

BERNARD PRIOR: Please don't touch that. [laughs] It's my comic sound effects panel. You wanted more humor.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, Bernard. I really shouldn't leave you alone in here.

BERNARD PRIOR: Let's move on. Our subject for discussion. It is, [imitates fanfare] Jaffa Cakes!

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, really? Any more news about Radial?

BERNARD PRIOR: All the most recently tracked shipments of Jaffa Cakes end up there. I have a few chaps working on it.

AMELIA SPENS: So Radial's goons like bickies. Interesting!

BERNARD PRIOR: It's not that. There are too many shipments. Radial's population couldn't have eaten that many Jaffa Cakes if they'd had them for supper every night!

AMELIA SPENS: Then what?

BERNARD PRIOR: Stockpiling.

AMELIA SPENS: But why?

BERNARD PRIOR: Millie, what happened to me when I couldn't get my Jaffa Cakes anymore?

AMELIA SPENS: You did get a bit desperate. To be honest, you weren't the only person who mentioned it to me. The British love their Jaffa Cake – oh, those devious - !

BERNARD PRIOR: - cads! I'm sure you were about to say cads. Remember, we're on the air. But yes, I do believe someone is trying to create scarcity value of the world's most delicious teatime treat.

BERNARD PRIOR: What a jolly tune. And how appropriate for our guest. Live via comms broadcast, I am quite thrilled to welcome to New Canton Today, Sigrid Hakkinen! Welcome.

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: Wonderful. Now my technician is in my ear telling me that the listeners can't hear you due to a technical - ?

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: I see. Ah, I see.

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: Deliberate, you say?

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: Did you really?

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: Listeners, it appears the Minister's actual words won't be audible due to a new security directive? I'm not sure whose security directive. Possibly one of the several settlements between us and London is refusing to relay transmissions. But apparently I can pass your questions on to the Minister.

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [static]

BERNARD PRIOR: Right. Righty-ho. [laughs] Listeners, I need to also inform you that the Minister will not be answering any of your actual questions due to... danger of infiltration by factions? So perhaps if I may ask a question of my own devising, Minister? Will you be putting in place any measures for free passage of books across the wall?

SIGRID HAKKINEN: [ringing static]

BERNARD PRIOR: I see. Apparently, listeners, the answer is no, and also, that is already all we have time for. So thank you, Minister. [laughs] I hope you all enjoyed that illuminating interview! Here's a tune that I'm sure will prove appropriate.

BERNARD PRIOR: Ahoy-hoy, listeners! Welcome to my first ever broadcast of late night New Canton Today. The adult New Canton Tonight, if you will. And let's kick off with a terrific song that always reminds me of my first love, Margot. This is for you, Margot, wherever you are. I still think about you.

BERNARD PRIOR: Now listeners, the second in our series of interviews with today's modern leaders. Welcome down the line Radial's leader, Phantasma Ooley. Hello there, Phantasma! May I call you Phanny?

PHANTASMA OOLEY: Please don't.

BERNARD PRIOR: I knew a boy at school whose nanny was called Fanny. Oh, how we howled! But enough digression. Phantasma, first, congratulations on your new trade allegiance with Pop Max and Kix. Can I ask – Radial are known for their lack of resources. However did you lure such big players?

PHANTASMA OOLEY: Kix are a great faction, a truly wonderful faction. Everyone knows they came with us because they are smart people.

BERNARD PRIOR: And you didn't, by any chance, lure them with a scarce commodity that has become more and more desirable in recent months?

PHANTASMA OOLEY: I beg your pardon?

BERNARD PRIOR: The Jaffa Cakes, Phantasma. I'm talking about the Jaffa Cakes.

PHANTASMA OOLEY: And this is completely off the record?

BERNARD PRIOR: Absolutely. The mic is off, I assure you.

PHANTASMA OOLEY: And you want a crate?

BERNARD PRIOR: I do! I really do.

PHANTASMA OOLEY: And what can you offer us in return?

BERNARD PRIOR: Oh, my dear. I only have access to Amelia Spens.

PHANTASMA OOLEY: I see. [laughs] I think we can do business.

BERNARD PRIOR: Marvelous. Marvelous. However, I will be requiring a sample of the goods up front.

PHANTASMA OOLEY: That's - ! ... We don't do that.

BERNARD PRIOR: Those are my terms, Phanny.

BERNARD PRIOR: See? I'm right about Radial. Do I need to play you the recording again?

AMELIA SPENS: No, I heard. I also heard it when you mistakenly broadcast it.

BERNARD PRIOR: I could have sworn the light was off.

AMELIA SPENS: Never mind. It was on your misguided late night show, so no one was listening. Did they send you a sample of their wares?

BERNARD PRIOR: They did!

AMELIA SPENS: Let's see it, then.

BERNARD PRIOR: Sadly, I no longer have them.

AMELIA SPENS: Bernard! That was your evidence that they're stockpiling.

BERNARD PRIOR: I know, but I couldn't resist! They only sent four. Who can stop at four Jaffa Cakes?

AMELIA SPENS: Someone who's only been sent four by a rogue faction who are stockpiling them?

BERNARD PRIOR: Quite, my dear. Quite.

BERNARD PRIOR: Listeners, this is a very exciting special edition of New Canton Today, for you join us as we relay live information on a raiding party heading into Radial Territory to liberate a quantity of Jaffa Cakes estimated to be 700 packets, or even more! And reports are coming that – yes, we have boots on the ground, and I believe, a haul of – goodness gracious. Over a thousand packets! A cool grand! Oh, happy days, listeners! And, if I may call you friends, old Bernard has it all!

BERNARD PRIOR: What do you mean, we're not distributing them?

AMELIA SPENS: Radial's idea was quite a good one. We just need to hold them for another month or two.

BERNARD PRIOR: That's terrible!

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, come on! I've got them, and I will distribute them in time. I might make a huge profit, but you know, I have overheads.

BERNARD PRIOR: But I broadcast the liberation of the Jaffa Cakes live! Everyone knows you've got them!

AMELIA SPENS: So much the better.

BERNARD PRIOR: You want people to know you're stockpiling all the Jaffa Cakes in Britain?

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, yes. Now it is known I have the Jaffa Cakes, Kix is very keen to do a trade deal for an early cut. It turns out, as you suspected, that was the incentive Radial offered them.

BERNARD PRIOR: You're incredible.

AMELIA SPENS: Thanks very much.

BERNARD PRIOR: Ahoy-hoy, listeners. I think I'm going to enjoy being a radio star. Now friends, how can we apply the writings of old Karly Marx to our current situation? "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." Of course, I'm talking about the smashing orangey bit. Pip pip. Mm.

BERNARD PRIOR: Time for a listener's letter! Let me just put on my spectacles. "Dear Bernie." Oh. Rather familiar. "I want you to know how much I enjoy your show. Your warm voice fills my ears every afternoon, and my heart. I would love to meet you in person sometime, Bernard. Sincerely, your old friend Margot." Oh. Goodness gracious.

[entergamingxp]

DualShockers’ Favorite Games of 2019 — Logan’s Top 10

December 25, 2019 2:00 PM EST

While 2019 didn’t have one, major standout game, it ended up being one of my favorite years in recent memory based on my own personal tastes.

As 2019 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2019 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2019 releases — can be considered.

I kind of fell out of love with gaming to a certain degree this year. Believe me, I still spent countless hundreds of hours over the course of 2019 playing a variety of different games, but unlike past years, I didn’t feel an inherent obligation to try and get my hands on every hot new release. While you might be questioning my gamer status because I say this, I feel like stepping back a bit and not feeling a responsibility to play every major release was really healthy for me. Not to mention, I actually got physically healthier as a result of limiting my time playing games because I focused a lot of my newfound free time on activities like going to the gym. I feel better here at the end of 2019 from a physical standpoint than I have in quite a while, which is nice.

I also just had a really difficult 2019 when it came to my personal life. As a result, spending my free time playing games was something I didn’t always want to do. I mentioned this in my Sekiro review earlier in the year, but I had some health issues in the early portion of 2019 that dragged on up until a few months ago. Even though I didn’t let on much about it to close friends, the whole situation really stressed me out quite a lot and took up a lot of my headspace.

With all of this being said though, I really just want to express love and gratitude to our team here at DualShockers and to our community who follows the site. Even in the midst of a variety of personal hardships, our staff really helped pick me up this year when I was down, whether they knew that or not. I’m forever grateful for the crew we have at DualShockers and to you–yes, you–if you’re reading this. Running a website is actually a pretty hard gig but I feel continually #blessed because of who I have the pleasure of working alongside here. I’ll never take that for granted.

Anyway, of the games that I did spend time with in 2019, here are my ten favorites. Merry Christmas to you all and best wishes in 2020.

10. League of Legends

If 2018 was the year I fell in love with League of Legends, 2019 was the year in which I was exposed to the dark side of the ever-popular MOBA. Elo hell, toxicity within the in-game chat, and players running it down mid seemed to be present constantly when I was playing. To be honest, I have no idea how I’m still playing the game after such a terrible year in solo queue.

Despite all of this, I played over 900 games of League in 2019 and it was my most-played game of the year by a mile. Heck, it’s hands-down the most-played game of my entire life at this point as well and I don’t really see myself stopping moving into next year. I didn’t want to put League of Legends very high on my list this year since it has become such a staple of my gaming diet at this point, but with how much I still play it on a weekly basis, I needed to at least mention it. Hopefully, 2020 will prove to be a more positive experience for me with League. And, uhh, I should also probably stop playing it as much, too.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for League of Legends.

9. Halo 2 Anniversary

For some reason, myself and fellow DualShockers writer Michael Ruiz decided about a year ago that we wanted to replay all of the Halo games before Infinite releases next year. We’ve still got quite a bit of ground to cover before late 2020 (we’re about halfway through Halo 3 right now), but we did end up playing through the entirety of Halo 2 Anniversary, and it was some of the most fun I had this year.

When The Master Chief Collection released back in 2014, I actually never ended up playing through the remastered version of Halo 2 for one reason or another. In hindsight, I’m actually glad that I waited because it allowed me to revisit the second Halo entry with an Xbox One X and a 4K TV, two things that I didn’t own five years ago. 343 Industries really did a great job of bringing this classic to the present day and my experience was made all the better because I played through the whole campaign with one of my good pals. I’m really looking forward to finishing our playthrough of the series in the coming months.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Halo: The Master Chief Collection.

8. Devil May Cry 5

I’ve been wanting to play the Devil May Cry series for years at this point. In the lead up to Devil May Cry 5, I told myself that I would play through every other entry (yes, even DMC2) before diving into this year’s release. Once Devil May Cry 5 launched back in March though, I threw all of those plans out the window and just decided to jump into the latest entry in the series. All in all, I’m really glad I did this.

Devil May Cry 5 is one of the more enjoyable games that I played this entire year, which says a lot considering that I probably didn’t get the most out of the story like others surely did. While it definitely has a fair number of problems by my own estimation, the combat is unrivaled and never gets stale at almost any point throughout the entirety of the experience. Plus, hacking demons up as Dante while screamo music plays in the background is just a joy in every sense of the word. I haven’t spent much time dwelling on Devil May Cry 5 since I saw it through to completion, but I definitely loved my time with it in the moment.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Devil May Cry 5.

7. Gears 5

Following an outing that I didn’t care for all that much with Gears of War 4, I was shocked by how much I loved Gears 5. I said this in my review of the game earlier this year, but The Coalition really blew me away with the strides they took in this entry in the long-running shooter series. All of the new elements such as the open-world style areas, the addition of Escape mode, and the other minor refinements seen throughout Gears 5 made it my favorite installment in the saga since Gears of War 2. Not to mention, I also think it’s the best first-party game Microsoft has released this entire generation.

If there’s one thing about Gears 5 that I’m saddened by, it’s that I haven’t played the game more this year. Obviously, I’ve spent my free time on other games rather than playing Gears 5, so that’s my own fault. Still, I think about returning to Gears 5 very often and I might end up diving back in over the holidays.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Gears 5.

6. Apex Legends

I ended up bouncing off of Apex Legends pretty hard only a few months after it released, but I also cannot deny how much pure enjoyment I got out of it when it stealth launched. In a time where I didn’t see myself playing battle royale games much anymore, Apex Legends spiced up the genre in inventive, fun ways that brought me and my group of battle royale friends back together.

I also have to credit Respawn for creating such a polished, tight experience and continuing to push this relatively young subgenre forward. The idea of playing as characters with different abilities sounded a bit odd to me at first, but Respawn proved with Apex Legends that this scheme can work in the battle royale space. Not to mention, I think Apex is just flat out the best shooter of the year in terms of controls. I might not play it too often anymore, but Apex Legends is very good and I’m so glad that it exists.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Apex Legends.

5. Death Stranding

Death Stranding is such a weird game. On one hand, I love many aspects of it such as the world, the story, and the characters. On the other, I think the gameplay is incredibly one-note and the full experience could’ve been tightened up so much. Hideo Kojima was essentially given a blank check from Sony to make this game, but he also was in dire need of an editor. Death Stranding just drags on for far too long at certain points.

Despite my complaints though, Death Stranding could very well be the most memorable gaming experience I had all year long. It’s a grind to get through, but it’s unlike anything else in the gaming space right now and tells a really touching (albeit insane and confusing) story. The Metal Gear saga is still Kojima’s magnum opus, but I liked the famed director’s follow-up despite its flaws. I cannot wait to see what he and his team decide to create next.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Death Stranding.

4. Judgment

Judgment is the most slept-on game of the year, and this is coming from someone who isn’t a longtime Yakuza fan. Judgment ended up being my first foray into Ryu Ga Gotoku’s world of Yakuza and I loved every minute of it. The journey of the game’s main character Takayuki Yagami and his cohorts in the city of Kamurocho is filled with laughs, drama, and boss fights with people named Ass Catchem.

Pound for pound, I don’t think I had more pure enjoyment with any game this year more than I did with Judgment. The game is filled to the brim with content and just when you start to get burnt out with what it’s throwing at you, something new and exciting shows up. Play Judgment — I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Judgment.

3. Resident Evil 2

I love Resident Evil; it might very well be my favorite franchise in all of gaming. As such, it shouldn’t come as a shock whatsoever that I adored the remake of Resident Evil 2. Capcom masterfully took the story and main beats of the original, adapted it for the RE Engine, and created a final product that felt like a great mix of RE2 and RE4. In the process, they also turned Mr. X into likely the most popular character in any video game this year. I love that bowler hat-wearing monster.

Resident Evil 2 is probably the best video game remake ever made and it might be the best RE game to boot. A few years back, it felt like Resident Evil as a whole was nearly a dead franchise, so to see it come back with such a vengeance has warmed my cold, dead gamer heart. I absolutely cannot wait to see what Capcom does with Resident Evil 3 next year.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Resident Evil 2.

2. Return of the Obra Dinn

Yes, Return of the Obra Dinn did release last year, but I didn’t get a chance to play it until January of this year. It’s a true shame that I didn’t get around to it in 2018, either, because I really think it was in dire need of some Game of the Year consideration.

Regardless, better late than never, I did get around to playing Obra Dinn and it enraptured me more than any other game did in 2019. From the opening moments that I climbed aboard the remains of the good ship Obra Dinn, I was mesmerized; not just from the game’s wonderful art style, but from the mystery surrounding this eerie tale. What happened to this ship’s crew? How did everyone aboard it disappear? And how exactly am I going to tie all of these threads together?

I played Return of the Obra Dinn in one fell swoop and didn’t turn it off until I had seen it through to its conclusion. In my old man age of 25 years, it takes a lot for me to stay up until around 3am solely to keep playing a game, but I just couldn’t put Return of the Obra Dinn down. It’s not just one of my favorite games that I played this year, it’s one of the most unique experiences that I have ever had with a video game and I cannot recommend it enough.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Return of the Obra Dinn.

1. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is far and away my favorite game of the year, which shouldn’t be a shock whatsoever if you’ve talked to me at any point since I first played Bloodborne back in 2017. I was a late convert to the Church of FromSoftware, but now, the developer is likely my favorite in the entire world.

Sekiro has a lot in common with the Souls games that came before it, but also feels like such an evolution and advancement of all of the ideas at the root of the genre. The gameplay, specifically, is what makes Sekiro stand out to me so much in this year’s crowded slate of releases. FromSoftware created a system of combat mechanics that make sense at a baseline level right out of the gate, but takes hours upon hours to fully learn all of the intricacies. The boss fights, which I specifically think are the best of any FromSoftware game ever made, continue to throw new things at you throughout the entirety of the experience. You’re always learning new things in Sekiro and then are quickly asked to take everything that you have learned and apply them within the context of a new challenge.

I know Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice might not be for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s a very hard game and not everyone may want to spend their gaming time screaming at their televisions. If you stick it out though and learn the ins and outs of what Sekiro tries to teach you, you’ll have an experience that is unmatched compared to anything else that released in 2019.

Check out DualShockers‘ review of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.

Check out the rest of the DualShockers staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 23: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2019 December 25: Lou Contaldi, Editor-in-Chief // Logan Moore, Managing Editor December 26: Tomas Franzese, News Editor // Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor  December 27: Mike Long, Community Manager // Scott White, Staff Writer December 28: Chris Compendio, Contributor // Mario Rivera, Video Manager December 29: Scott Meaney, Community Director // Allisa James, Senior Staff Writer // Ben Bayliss, Senior Staff Writer December 30: Cameron Hawkins, Staff Writer // David Gill, Senior Staff Writer // Portia Lightfoot, Contributor December 31: Iyane Agossah, Senior Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Senior Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Contributor January 1: Ricky Frech, Senior Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer

December 25, 2019 2:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-logans-top-10/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-logans-top-10

[endorsereviews]

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed

Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed right now!

“How A Retired Italian Scientist Taught Me The Sexual Power Switch…

…And Then Used It To Seduce 6 Supermodels In 17 Minutes..”

In This Video Presentation You’ll Learn:

BREAKTHROUGH SEDUCTION TECHNOLOGY

In this brand-new, Team Capital only video, you’re going to get my newest seduction breakthrough when it comes to making the hottest women chase you for hot, sweaty sex – the kind that lift’s a mans spirits and unleashes his masculine power within.

TINDER, FACEBOOK, SNAPCHAT AND MORE

You’re going to quickly tap into the mind-blowing sexual power of the world’s most powerful seducer’s which women can’t help but say yes to, so no matter where you are – work, the bar, a networking event or on Tinder, Facebook or Snapchat… if she can see you, you simply think this one sentence and she quickly decides to herself “Yeah, I’m going to sleep with him.”

SHE NEVER CHASES GUYS… BUT SHE’LL CHASE YOU

The girls you want are going to want you first, so talking with them, leading them and sleeping with them is not only going to be easy but they’re going to feel like it’s their idea every step of the way, making it a safe haven of sexual adventure and pleasure for you from hello to the bedroom.

TICKING TIME-BOMB

This earth-shattering seduction technology is limited to this week only, and your only chance could be right now because our biggest live event of the year is in just 10 days, and we want multiple case studies and success stories done and ready in time to share it there….Get other products by Jason Capital right now!

Who is Jason Capital?

Jason Capital is America’s Honest Dating Coach. His private clientele include celebrated actors, best-selling authors and tech investors.

His 170,000 loyal customers and fans on 6 big continents swear by his life-changing programs, including his magnum opus,

Make Women Want You UNLEASHED.

Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed on IMCLibrary.com right now!

Our Most Recent Success Stories “The Only Move I’ll Ever Need”

“Jason, I’ll keep it short.

You are a true genius in the seduction of women. Like Michelangelo and his art. There’s this girl me and my friends have seen out before but none of us know. We ALL talk about how hot she is.

But now I’m the only one in the group who knows what a dirty little freak she is too. My friends couldn’t believe it as we walked out of the lounge bar together and SHE bought the Uber to take us to her place. This Sexual Power Switch will be the only thing I need from now on, us guys can’t thank you enough.”

WILLIAM – NEW YORK, NY

“I FINALLY Get It!”

Jason I’ll never be able to pay you back for what you’ve done for me. Yeah I’ve banged some hot girls and learned awesome game but that’s scratching the surface. You introduced me into the world of self improvement and drastically changed my life. I think if it would have been anyone else’s youtube channel I stumbled across two years ago I wouldn’t have stuck with it. You saved my life Jason. Thank you.

PRICETON BRASWELL

“She Violated My Pants In Less Than 10 Minutes..”

“Jason, I think I’m in trouble.

The Sexual Power Switch is literally the only thing I need now when it comes to women. We had a meeting last week, people from lots of divisions were there including the most luscious brunette I’d ever seen.

A few of us got drinks after, and when we got there, I slipped in the Sexual Power Switch. It was super subtle, no one else even knew what was happening.

Within 10 minutes, she’d bought me a drink, taken me out back and was thrusting her hands in my pants.

When we came back to the table, I played it cool but everyone knew what happened. I could see the jealousy in their eyes! Plus, she called me the next day for dinner, drinks and more excitement.”

MORTON – WICHITA, KS

“”My Game Is Stronger Than An Instagram Celebrity!”

“After you told us the Sexual Power Switch, I had this funny feeling, like we just figured out the shortcut to sex with hot women. It was my first day back at law school on campus, so I was setting up my apartment when I noticed the new girl moving in next door looked like a young Pamela Anderson.

I had my first lucky recipient to test this on. I knocked on her door and asked if she had any tape. We started talking. I flipped the Sexual Power Switch, and her eyes lit up.

Not 20 minutes later, we were hooking up on her couch and she kept saying, “I never do this, who are you? why do I want you so bad?” Not to worry, I straight up told her,

“It’s because I flipped your Sexual Power Switch” and she’d start laughing and say, “Yes, you really did”.

Women, gotta love them. And by the way, I just found out her ex is some big famous guy on Instagram. Take that, hiyahhh!”

BRYAN – MIAMI, FL

“The Playboy, Billionaire, Influencer, Genius Life..”

Hey Jason. Before knowing you, I would have never thought, that there would exist, a person so focused on spiritual, wisdom, success, mental, influence, social, badass growth, contributing so much to the world and living a sick lifestyle in the process.

I always thought, that you had to take two routes in life, if you wanted to live to the fullest.

1) The billionaire entrepreneur that is completely focused in growing and contributing with his business to the world.

2) The lover of life, that would fuck girls, gamble, party, travel, drink, eat, to live life to the fullest.

YOU dude, have cracked the universe code and get somehow the third option.

Keep f**king killing it man.

MICHAEL BLACK

Get other products by Jason Capital right now! Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed right now! Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed Free Download, Make Women Want You Unleashed Download, Make Women Want You Unleashed Groupbuy, Make Women Want You Unleashed Free, Make Women Want You Unleashed Torrent, Make Women Want You Unleashed Course Free, Make Women Want You Unleashed Course Download

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed posted first on premiumwarezstore.blogspot.com

[sublimedeal]

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed

Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed right now!

“How A Retired Italian Scientist Taught Me The Sexual Power Switch…

…And Then Used It To Seduce 6 Supermodels In 17 Minutes..”

In This Video Presentation You’ll Learn:

BREAKTHROUGH SEDUCTION TECHNOLOGY

In this brand-new, Team Capital only video, you’re going to get my newest seduction breakthrough when it comes to making the hottest women chase you for hot, sweaty sex – the kind that lift’s a mans spirits and unleashes his masculine power within.

TINDER, FACEBOOK, SNAPCHAT AND MORE

You’re going to quickly tap into the mind-blowing sexual power of the world’s most powerful seducer’s which women can’t help but say yes to, so no matter where you are – work, the bar, a networking event or on Tinder, Facebook or Snapchat… if she can see you, you simply think this one sentence and she quickly decides to herself “Yeah, I’m going to sleep with him.”

SHE NEVER CHASES GUYS… BUT SHE’LL CHASE YOU

The girls you want are going to want you first, so talking with them, leading them and sleeping with them is not only going to be easy but they’re going to feel like it’s their idea every step of the way, making it a safe haven of sexual adventure and pleasure for you from hello to the bedroom.

TICKING TIME-BOMB

This earth-shattering seduction technology is limited to this week only, and your only chance could be right now because our biggest live event of the year is in just 10 days, and we want multiple case studies and success stories done and ready in time to share it there….Get other products by Jason Capital right now!

Who is Jason Capital?

Jason Capital is America’s Honest Dating Coach. His private clientele include celebrated actors, best-selling authors and tech investors.

His 170,000 loyal customers and fans on 6 big continents swear by his life-changing programs, including his magnum opus,

Make Women Want You UNLEASHED.

Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed on IMCLibrary.com right now!

Our Most Recent Success Stories “The Only Move I’ll Ever Need”

“Jason, I’ll keep it short.

You are a true genius in the seduction of women. Like Michelangelo and his art. There’s this girl me and my friends have seen out before but none of us know. We ALL talk about how hot she is.

But now I’m the only one in the group who knows what a dirty little freak she is too. My friends couldn’t believe it as we walked out of the lounge bar together and SHE bought the Uber to take us to her place. This Sexual Power Switch will be the only thing I need from now on, us guys can’t thank you enough.”

WILLIAM – NEW YORK, NY

“I FINALLY Get It!”

Jason I’ll never be able to pay you back for what you’ve done for me. Yeah I’ve banged some hot girls and learned awesome game but that’s scratching the surface. You introduced me into the world of self improvement and drastically changed my life. I think if it would have been anyone else’s youtube channel I stumbled across two years ago I wouldn’t have stuck with it. You saved my life Jason. Thank you.

PRICETON BRASWELL

“She Violated My Pants In Less Than 10 Minutes..”

“Jason, I think I’m in trouble.

The Sexual Power Switch is literally the only thing I need now when it comes to women. We had a meeting last week, people from lots of divisions were there including the most luscious brunette I’d ever seen.

A few of us got drinks after, and when we got there, I slipped in the Sexual Power Switch. It was super subtle, no one else even knew what was happening.

Within 10 minutes, she’d bought me a drink, taken me out back and was thrusting her hands in my pants.

When we came back to the table, I played it cool but everyone knew what happened. I could see the jealousy in their eyes! Plus, she called me the next day for dinner, drinks and more excitement.”

MORTON – WICHITA, KS

“”My Game Is Stronger Than An Instagram Celebrity!”

“After you told us the Sexual Power Switch, I had this funny feeling, like we just figured out the shortcut to sex with hot women. It was my first day back at law school on campus, so I was setting up my apartment when I noticed the new girl moving in next door looked like a young Pamela Anderson.

I had my first lucky recipient to test this on. I knocked on her door and asked if she had any tape. We started talking. I flipped the Sexual Power Switch, and her eyes lit up.

Not 20 minutes later, we were hooking up on her couch and she kept saying, “I never do this, who are you? why do I want you so bad?” Not to worry, I straight up told her,

“It’s because I flipped your Sexual Power Switch” and she’d start laughing and say, “Yes, you really did”.

Women, gotta love them. And by the way, I just found out her ex is some big famous guy on Instagram. Take that, hiyahhh!”

BRYAN – MIAMI, FL

“The Playboy, Billionaire, Influencer, Genius Life..”

Hey Jason. Before knowing you, I would have never thought, that there would exist, a person so focused on spiritual, wisdom, success, mental, influence, social, badass growth, contributing so much to the world and living a sick lifestyle in the process.

I always thought, that you had to take two routes in life, if you wanted to live to the fullest.

1) The billionaire entrepreneur that is completely focused in growing and contributing with his business to the world.

2) The lover of life, that would fuck girls, gamble, party, travel, drink, eat, to live life to the fullest.

YOU dude, have cracked the universe code and get somehow the third option.

Keep f**king killing it man.

MICHAEL BLACK

Get other products by Jason Capital right now! Get Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed right now! Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed Free Download, Make Women Want You Unleashed Download, Make Women Want You Unleashed Groupbuy, Make Women Want You Unleashed Free, Make Women Want You Unleashed Torrent, Make Women Want You Unleashed Course Free, Make Women Want You Unleashed Course Download

Jason Capital – Make Women Want You Unleashed published first on http://ift.tt/2qxBbOD