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shadlad24 · 4 years ago

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More Funny Little Moments #1: Season 1, Episodes 1-12

So, I decided to do this post after all. Halp. LOL Because I apparently LOVE giving myself a bunch of unnecessary work, I decided to choose two to three extra moments, per episode! SUPER halp! X’D Anyway, these are moments that didn’t make the cut for my FFLM series because: my sense of humor is a little weird, they were gonna be too much work (LOL/Siiigh), I like to highlight patterns, and I don’t like a lot of repetition. [Links to each FFLM along the bottom of the post. :)]

Let’s start with something I originally agreed with other fans on but have since changed my mind. A lot of people didn’t like this part of “Chariots of War” because it seems so ludicrous that Xena would forget her chakram anywhere. Well, let me tell you! This lady has left her weapons behind most episodes thus far. I didn’t note it every time here (and especially didn’t bother with her whip) because that’d really overrun the post buuuuut… You’ll see. XD

1.01 Sins of the Past

Xena’s shift being so much dirtier than the little boy’s clothes though she’s high up off the ground, and he lives in smoked-out rubble.

Yup. Xena forgot her sword (and later, her main saddlebag) at her mother’s tavern. Pft.

Sorry these were kinda lame, but I didn’t want to re-use any more of the original fifteen points I made about this episode... Ah well. Moving on! (heh)

1.02 Chariots of War

Xena loses her sword after the chariot crash, taking up and discarding Sphaerus’s but walking off without her own. (See her front and back and both of Argo’s sides.)

Gabrielle chewing Xena out, Xena being bummed about it, and Argo being surprised. X’D

1.03 Dreamworker

This got me good. Gabrielle does Xena’s war cry so well here that I really thought it was Xena for a few seconds. Realizing it was GabbyWabs only made me chuckle more because she apparently can’t do it when it really counts in “The Greater Good.”

Argo NOT being on Team Gabrielle. XD (Their feud is a little funny to me.)

1.04 Cradle of Hope

Xena tossing aside her sword after killing Nemos. Extras even dance and celebrate right on top of it! Wut thuh?

I decided to avoid mentioning Hope in the FFLM because Xena’s quote here is more ironic than comedic, and Gabrielle’s little face is just so sad, but I didn’t want to let it pass by entirely unremarked upon. At least GW gets to show off her oracle skills again? :’)

1.05 The Path Not Taken

So, Xena and Gabrielle walk into a bar… Heh. No, but really, they enter this tavern for the first time ever, yet the bartender not only knows what they want, he knows that they’re coming and has their drinks waiting for them too. All Xena has to do is knock on the counter and nod to get her fire-breath alcohol/oil, and Gabrielle barely has the word “cider” out of her mouth before the guy hands it to her. Xena, like me, is duly amazed.

Lucy, through Xena, making another timely anti-peanut statement. I just didn’t want to do the same thing twice back-to-back in the FFLM. X)

1.06 The Reckoning

Gabrielle thinking along the same lines Xena and I did about this poor excuse for a judge.

Me not being well-versed in ancient Greek heroes and picturing the fool who Draco killed so handily in the first episode. heh

1.07 The Titans

I’ll let Xena explain this one. …Mostly. I can’t believe Gabrielle not only sassed the Titans such that she unashamedly put Xena and Phyleus in danger too, but also kinda got this (admittedly awful) town demolished and didn’t lift a finger to actually help anyone in the temple. Tsk tsk. XP

So… Hyperion here can smash homes and businesses that were probably well-built and reinforced and all, but he can’t get his hand out of a stocks-cuff that was made in a single evening with scraps from those destroyed buildings. He also, inexplicably, has no use of his left hand or the power-breath that he used to knock Gabrielle over. Okie. XD

1.08 Prometheus

Is this really a thing? I was giggling quite a bit in disbelief that severed windpipes can heal. Like, perforated is one thing; completely bisected? Yeah, I don’t think so.

Gabrielle being incredulous upon learning that Xena has other friends, realizing what the warrior princess means, and then wondering if that could be her one day.

1.09 Death in Chains

Gabrielle enjoying watching Xena kill someone for the first time, then quickly realizing that fact. Whoops.

I found this moment really odd and then kind of hilarious. This poor dying old woman begs for water and goes ignored not only by the hospice workers, but also Talus and Gabrielle. Then Talus decides to be helpful. Gabrielle goes to the woman and lets her talk a lot (undoubtedly drying her mouth and throat even more), hears that Xena might be in danger, and then just… leaves. Talus goes with her, not having gotten water from the well after all. What a couple of jerks! XD

1.10 Hooves & Harlots

I really don’t know why Gabrielle kept making this face as Terreis died, but it tickled my funny bone too. So, I provided alternate subs to go with it. [Did you notice how she kind of cringes when Terreis tries to hold her hand and then just lets the Amazon flop once she’s died, flinging her hand aside like, “Ew, get it off me!”? What was that all about? X”) Hm… maybe she has an aversion to dying people, and that’s why she abandoned the old lady last episode?]

Gabrielle being a smart aleck, just like me, because Phantes’s complaint here is so ludicrous. But then you see the close-up of little hoofies in cuffs too, and, if you’re anything like me too, kinda just topple over laughing. The poor actual horse they did this to, though, man! What even?

Gosh, this episode was chockfull of hilarity, eh? Why did this happen? Gabby, take it away!

1.11 The Black Wolf

I laughed at this too. But now I wonder. Is Xerxes related to Caesar and/or connected to Rome or something? Because Xena does this twice around them too. In “When in Rome,” she jokes that the two guards lost playing tag with her, and in “A Good Day” she informs Pompey that if there were more guards hiding around their meeting space, then she would have had more helmets. heh Oh, Xenie. I think I know why Gabrielle’s turning out to be such a little punk ...or vice versa? Is Gabrielle actually a bit of a bad influence on Xena? XP

So, this fight just struck me as really odd. Xena passes her sword to Flora though she (Xena) needs to battle the big boss of the episode, and… actually, is totally right. The king throws a single wide-ass punch, waits while Xena kicks the guy behind her a few times, lets himself get kicked in the face a couple of times, and then comes at her with a little piece of chain, presumably from the restraints that were intended to keep Flora in place during her execution. Sir, you have a sword! A giant sword, right there on your hip! What are you doing? Then, when Xena kicks him a final time and sends him flying, his (supposed-to-be) metal armor is no match for the splintered wood of the axe she broke earlier. …Okie. XD XD XD *gif below*

Xena once again leaves her chakram somewhere. …And I am now imagining this being part of Gabrielle’s maid duties: the poor kid has to go find Xena’s weapons each night and bring them back to her. I’m especially imaging the fluffball hilariously, adorably struggling to get the chakram out of things like this wall, as she did with Xena’s sword in the tree stump in “Dreamworker,” but more parallel to the floor. Cuuuute! XD

This plus this

*pic + GIF below*:

1.12 Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

This scene too really made me wonder, though amused as well. Why is Gabrielle so surprised that the only city nearby, that they were headed to, is the one they find? Is she really being that loud? Is Xena goofing around with the bootlaces question? Why startle Gabrielle and then yank her into enemy territory screaming, when what you want is quiet? What’s with the trapdoor-spider soldiers? Xena’s pose throwing the chakram. XD Gabrielle mostly featherlight dance-y moves through the battlefield. XD XD XD Why is it that when Xena tells Gabrielle to stick right behind her, Gabrielle disappears? And what was with the bucket-sitting soldier? Gabrielle is like, “Oh; no, thank you!” when she sees him and turns tail. Then Xena ...follows her. “We’re goin’ this way! Now we’re goin’ that way!” But they still end up dead-ahead from where they burst out of the bushes. XD That was ridiculous and nonsensical, and I’m very confused but had lots of fun. heheheh *gif below* [ETA: Darn! The original file was too big, so I had to remake the GIF and cut quite a few things out. :( Sorry]

Xena’s outta-nowhere crusade to emasculate Deiphobus coming full-circle. What was that all about?

Welp, I hope you had as much fun as I originally and then later did. Not so much in the middle with the collage-and-GIF-making and editing and redoing, but; y’know. XD Wouldn’t trade it for …Hm… Nevermind. LOL

If you missed any of the FFLMs, then please click on the corresponding number-links below. :D

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12

#xwp #xena #xena warrior princess #gabrielle #xena and gabrielle #fflm #funny #comedy #season 1 #forgetful #magic #shenanigans #argo #chakram #sword

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superfanficnatural · 4 years ago

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Love, Tabby

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC(Tabby)... so not really “Original Character” lol

Summary: Tabby is turning 30 today and Dean has a special surprise in store for her.

A/N: So Monday is Tabby’s 30th birthday, but we are celebrating it today, so this is my birthday present to you @winchest09. I really hope you like it, I LOVE YOU !!!

Warnings: HEAVY FLUFF.

Word Count: 4,659

Tabby woke up in her bed, feeling grumpy as she did every time she woke up. Reaching over, she felt a cold spot where her husband usually was, fear settling in her heart. Shooting up out of bed, she put on her clothes and rushed to the door, noticing a piece of paper attached to the frame.

Confused, she pulled it off of the tape and took a look at the note, “Hey, sweetheart. I know you’re probably freaking out over where I am and if I’m alright. I’m fine. I’ve set up a little scavenger hunt for you, and yes, you have to do it,” she chuckled as she shook her head. “Maybe you will find out what it’s for as you go along, but for right now, I’m gonna give you five.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Five what?”

Turning the paper over to its back, she saw five numbers with writing next to them, “#1-You’re kind - I’ve never met someone with such a pure and honest heart. The kindness you treat others with never ceases to amaze me, even if they were an asshole at some bar. It’s one of the reasons that I fell for you,” she smiled, his words warming her heart.

“#2- You’re thoughtful - Whenever I feel like shit, or even Sam, you always know. You always cook us a meal, or talk to us and somehow manage to make us open up. You always make me feel so loved. I never thought that I deserved it, but you’re always there to help me, no matter what,” she felt anger bubble up inside of her, he did deserve love, and she would never stop trying to convince him.

“#3- You’re compassionate - It’s like you have some kind of superpower to be able to feel how others are. Whenever I felt at my lowest, you were right there with me. It seemed like you felt the exact pain I was going through and because of that, I never felt alone. You are the reason that I never feel alone.”

“#4- You’re an awesome friend - Even before we started dating, you were always so attentive, so helpful. You set the bar high for anyone who tries to call themselves a good friend. When Sam was struggling and hurting, you even went out and bought him a salad. A damn salad! You put on his favorite TV show and sat down with him the entire night. I remember he told me the day after that if I didn’t marry you, he would kill me,” she chuckled and blushed, happy that his brother wanted them to be together as well.

“#5- You’re a great mom - Ever since our girl was born, you were always hovering over her, always making sure she was safe and healthy. I swear I’ve had to drag you away from her crib just so you could get some sleep when she was first born. The amount of love that you look at our kid with, I never knew how much it would affect me. Whenever we’re asleep, if she cries, you always told me to go back to sleep and that you would handle it. No other mom could compare to you, and I know our kid knows that too,” she began to tear up. “Damn it, Dean. Making me cry this early in the morning,” she choked out a laugh, wiping her eyes.

Below the fifth number, there was some more writing, “Go to the place that you and Sam have hung out the most. This should be an easy one,” she could practically see his eye roll as he wrote this and instantly knew where to look, the library.

She left the room with the paper in her hand and made her way over to the library. She didn’t realize it, but he could have probably hidden the paper somewhere within the hundreds of books they had. Huffing, she solidified her resolve and got to digging, opening up books and flipping through them to see if the paper was inside. After about a half hour and two hundred books later, she sighed out tired and sat down on one of the chairs at the table.

“How the hell am I-” she began before she perked up. She remembered that she and Sam had spent a lot of time under the table when they first met; they wrote basically all the most important information they could need on monsters in bullet points. She also remembered Dean saying they were acting like children but she didn’t care, it was a great way to bond with Sam and they both had a lot of fun.

Reaching under the table and feeling around, she felt a piece of paper taped to the bottom, “Bingo.”

Pulling it out from under the table, “I know the first note had a bit of stuff written before the numbers, but moving on, mostly just the numbers and the location of the next paper will be written.”

Bracing herself, she turned over the paper and began to read, “#6- You’re selfless - You care about others more than yourself. While other people call that heroic, I hate it. You always want to jump in front of me when a monster is attacking or pushing me out of the way, when really, I’m the one who should be doing that. You’ve given me so many goddamn heart attacks, I’m gonna die one of these days. But I also love it, because it goes to show just how incredible you are. Always looking out for other people was my thing, but then you came along and smacked me in the face. I remember you said, “Well then who the hell is gonna look out for you, Winchester?” I’ve come to realize that I love it, because I know you will always be there for me,” she giggled, remembering that very day where she slapped him and told him that.

“#7- You’re super smart - I thought that Sam was smart, but then you came along. You taught us both things that we never knew and I’ve always been jealous of how smart you are. Don’t feel bad babe, I’m just trying to compliment you. Every time we were stumped on a hunt, you spent no more than five minutes thinking before you figured out a way to get us out or to save more people. You’re the reason so many of our hunts go better than they would normally, and I know every family we save is grateful to you for that.”

“#8- You’re aces at researching - I hate researching, we all know that. But with you, Sam finally had someone to geek out with and to help research on a case. Both of your minds combined prove to be the most powerful thing in this world, no monster stands a chance. I have no idea how you actually enjoy it but I won't argue with it, for it’s saved all of our asses multiple times.”

“#9- You can cut a man's hair like a boss - Neither me or Sam are big fans of barber shops, so I’m also extremely thankful that you can cut hair. I don’t think anyone has cut my hair as well as you have, and you always manage to get it just the way I want it. I love you,” no matter how many times she heard him say it, it always managed to make her blush and her heart to beat faster.

Smiling, she continued, “#10- You’re a great photographer - I never liked pictures and honestly I don’t think that I ever will. Thankfully, you force me to get in them and I’m so glad that you do. Because of it, we have so many beautiful pictures to look at and reminisce. My favorite picture you’ve taken was the one of all of us together. You set up the camera and had us all sit down on the couch, our kid on my lap. The happiness I felt that day with all of you was one of the greatest I had ever felt in my life. I will be forever grateful to you that you took that picture.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath the numbers, “Go to the place where I spend the most time in the bunker.”

It took her all of three seconds to know where he was talking about, their bedroom. She was slightly confused, due to the fact that the first paper was there, but continued on and went to their shared bedroom.

Opening the door, she looked around and wondered where the hell he could have put it. The bed? The closet? Under one of the guns? She thought back to his exact words “I spend the most time” and blushed. When they first started dating and even after they got married, Dean was insatiable. Always dragging her to the bed to try out something new, but she loved it every time. Walking over to the bed, she flung over the sheets to the side and saw a piece of paper under them on Dean’s side of the bed.

Grabbing the paper, she read, “I could almost see the blush on your face babe, turn to the back,” she blushed harder at the fact that he knew exactly what she was thinking and followed his instructions.

“#11- You’re a loving wife - I never thought that someone as perfect and beautiful as you would even give me a second glance. Turns out, you would. I thought that you were just infatuated and that you would “get over me” but thank God you proved me wrong. Every single day, you make sure that I feel cherished, and I can’t even put into words how incredible that feels. I’ve never felt loved in the way that you give me before, and it’s a feeling that I never want to lose. I love you more than I’ve loved anything in my entire life.” She could feel the tears falling from her eyes onto the piece of paper, “Dammit, Dean. Now you’ve done it,” she sniffled.

“#12- You have a great accent - Just hearing you talk is like music to my ears. Don’t even get me started on your laugh, it's one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard and I can’t help but laugh right along with you whenever you do. That very same voice comforts me when I feel like shit, compliments me when I try and look good for you, and whispers sexy nothings into my ear that drives me insane,” her blush from before returned instantly, her face red as a tomato, a nervous giggle escaping her lips.

“#13- You’re absolutely gorgeous - From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were everything that I wanted. Your eyes shine brighter than any light I’ve ever seen and your body is perfect, no matter how self conscious you get. I swear if I could, I would grab all of your doubts and insecurities and send them straight into the Empty, because you are perfect. You don’t need makeup, your natural beauty already puts all other people to rest.”

“Am I gonna be blushing this entire damn day? Jesus, Dean,” she chuckled.

“#14- You have incredible red hair - After I met you, my new favorite color was red. The way it shines off of the sunlight as the wind flows it through your face. I could just sit there and watch you for hours. You put Rowena to shame, babe.”

“#15- You wear plaid and “Winchester Clothes” - I think you look perfect in anything you wear but damn, the way you look in my clothes. It’s one of the reasons why I can’t get enough of you,” her face was so heated that she felt like she was going to explode.

Taking a few moments to collect herself, she began reading once more, “You wear plaid better than Sam and I, and I’m all for it, babe.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath it, “Go to the thing I love fourth most on this planet.”

She knew that herself, Sam, and her child were the first three, so Baby had to be the fourth. Shaking her head with a laugh, she left the room and went over to the garage. She still didn’t understand the point of all of this, when will the numbers end? Why is it all about me? She had a few questions swimming around her mind but continued on regardless.

Reaching the garage, she walked over to Baby and opened the drivers side door, getting in and closing the door behind her. She looked around the seats and under them, checking the back as well. She was about to go check the trunk until she opened the passengers side compartment and saw a piece of paper inside.

“I know you must be wondering what this is all about since you’re adorably oblivious, but just enjoy the ride, sweetheart. You’re almost finished.” She sighed in annoyance with a smile on her face, “Who says I’m oblivious?”

She turned the paper around to see another five numbers written on it, “#16- You’re a good hugger - Now, while this might seem kinda like “ok?? What’s so good about that?” kinda thing, it isn’t to me. I can’t even count the amount of times that I felt broken, and you hugged me. It felt like you were slowly putting all the pieces back together by simply holding me. It gave me such a comforting feeling, once again reminding me that I wasn’t alone, and that you were there for me. I only hope that I can manage to do the same for you.”

“Of course you do, you dummy,” she laughed out, trying to hold her tears back. The sheer amount of times that she felt safe in his arms was uncountable. She was so grateful to him for that and she felt overjoyed that she was able to do the same for him.

“#17- You’re resilient - I remember the time that you were captured by demons to trap me. You held up for an entire day of torture without giving them an inch. I still haven’t forgiven myself for that, but I’m so glad that you managed to convince me to stay with you. We both remember how scared I was of losing you, how I still am. But if you didn’t convince me to stay, I wouldn’t be happy like I am now. I wouldn’t be married to the most incredible woman on this planet and I wouldn’t have a child that I would do anything for. I love you, Tabby.”

She vividly remembered that time, she also remembered how horrible she felt for putting Dean through that. She was just as glad as he was that they managed to get past it and move on with their relationship.

“#18- You have a vivid imagination - Before every hunt, you would always think of different ways that things could go down and explain it to us. Because of that, whenever the plan doesn’t work, we have what you perceived to help us win. You’re so incredible, sweetheart. That imagination has also helped in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.”

She could practically see the wink and smirk on his face, finding herself blushing once again at his implication, “You just had to go there, didn’t you?” she asked rhetorically with a chuckle.

“#19- You love me - Yeah yeah yeah, I said it, suck it up. I think you are incredible because you love me, alright? You make me feel special and… goddamn it, now you got me talking about chick flick stuff. The amount of love written in your eyes whenever you look at me never ceases to take my breath away. I’m so grateful to you that you chose me out of all people to give your love to, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person that you deserve.”

She felt her heart warm at his words, but also anger began to rise up inside of her, “You deserve love more than anyone else, you idiot.”

“#20- You’re a great mentor - When all those refugees came from the other world, you were the first to volunteer to teach them new things and to show them around our own. Because of you, all of them managed to adjust so much quicker to this world than they would have with us. Because of you, they managed to leave the bunker and go live out in our society. You are amazing, Tabby.”

“Go to the place that we had our first argument.”

She instantly recognized where he meant, the torture room. It was easy to remember because it was the first time that she thoroughly disagreed with him on something. They argued about whether they should use it to torture monsters or not, for her heart was still so pure, even monsters weren’t on her torture list.

Tabby closed the compartment in the passenger seat and got out of the car, all of the papers still in her hand, and walked through the winding turns of the bunker until eventually she reached the room. Going inside, she knew that the paper would be relatively easy to find, for the room was basically empty except for the chair in the middle of the room. Surely enough, when she walked in, the paper was sitting directly on top of the chair.

She walked towards it and picked it up, “I remember this argument damn well, it was the first time we disagreed on something so heavily. In my defense, I had the mark at the time we had this argument so I’m using that as an excuse. Tough luck, sweetheart.”

She shook her head and scoffed, turning the paper over to read what she assumed were the next five numbers.

“#21- Your sneeze is cute - Sure, this might seem irrelevant, but it’s not to me. Sometimes I would purposefully try and get you to sneeze just so I can hear how adorable it is. And yes, the pepper inside of the book you were reading was put there by me, I’m sorry, ok?! I just wanted to hear that cute sneeze of yours, I hope you’re not mad, princess.”

“Of fucking course,” she snorted.

“#22- You get overly excited about the smallest gifts or gestures - I have no idea why, but you just do. Yet another thing that is impossibly adorable about you. I remember I bought you a simple damn necklace I got for like $10 and you freaked out. I think it’s because you appreciate everything, no matter how small it is, and that is what makes you unattainable, baby. So precious and special, no man can have you. I just know that my favorite reaction from you was when I gave you that wedding ring. The look on your face when I got on my knees and took it out of my pocket was the best thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I truly love you, and I will try my damn hardest to always make sure you know that.”

She couldn’t help the tears from streaming down her eyes while she played with the ring on her finger, reminiscing about that day. It was the happiest day in her entire life, aside from when she gave birth to her daughter.

“#23- You love your mom - Now this might seem like an “oh everyone loves their parents, not a big deal” kind of thing, but with you it isn’t. You’re always checking up on her and seeing how she is, always offering to help with something when you really don’t need to. The amount of love and contempt you speak with when you talk about your mom is ridiculous, I’ve never seen someone able to hold so much love inside of their body. It’s inspiring and makes me want to be a better person. I don’t remember feeling that kind of love before, until you came along. You might argue that I felt it with Cassie or something but that was nothing compared to this. Hell, it makes it seem like a high school crush compared to how I feel about you. I never thought that I could love something or someone so much, but you came along and completely changed all of that.”

He was right and she knew it. Tabby loved her mom with everything that she had, and she was euphoric to know that she could give Dean that feeling as well.

“#24- You descent from fucking Vikings - I mean come on! How awesome is that? I’m so honored to be able to call you mine. You badass, intelligent, independent, incredible woman. This explanation is kinda short but come ON! Vikings??”

She giggled to herself as she read along, proud of her heritage and her bloodline.

“#25- You cook up the best breakfast - You are a goddamn Chef, babe. Ever since you walked into the bunker, me and Sam have been living the high life every morning with your damn good food. I used to think that I could cook well until you made our first meal. I knew then that I would bow down to you and beg for you to cook every meal I ever ate from then on.”

She smirked proudly to herself, knowing that she could cook up a killer meal.

“You’re almost done sweetheart, just one more. Go to the place that has to do with the last number.”

“Simple enough; the kitchen,” she spoke mostly to herself.

Even through all of this, she still couldn’t wrap her mind around what was going on. Maybe Dean was right and she was simply oblivious. Either way, she was having more fun than she would admit and was silently reveling in the amount of things that he found amazing about her.

Leaving the room, she made her way over to the kitchen, pausing at the door and once again huffing out.

“How the hell am I supposed to find a piece of paper in all of this?” she rhetorically asked, exasperated.

Stomping her foot once or twice, she recalled the last piece of paper, reading once again that this was the last one.

“Fine. Fine fine fine, this better be the last one,” she reluctantly gave in.

Tabby spent twenty minutes looking around for the damned paper, rummaging through the cupboards and even checking the oven. She sat down at the table and ran her fingers through her hair, arguing in her mind whether to continue to search for it or just find Dean and ask what the hell was going on. She decided to keep looking, already having gotten this far. There was only one other place that she hadn’t looked, once again, under the table.

“I swear if it’s under here,” she muttered while reaching her hand under the table and feeling around for the paper.

Surely enough, she felt it and rolled her eyes, pulling it out from under and reading it, “Congratulations babe, you reached the end, though, I’m not done yet. Turn over to the back one last time.”

She followed his instructions, turning over to the back and noticing five more numbers written down.

“#26- You bake the best pies - I think this one is self-explanatory, but I’ll go ahead and explain it anyways. You, Hallie, and Sam are my top three, Baby is my fourth, and pie is my fifth favorite thing in this world. The first time you made me a pecan pie, I had to hold myself back from moaning loud enough that the damn angels in heaven wouldn’t hear me. Once again, babe, you are a goddamn Chef and you can cook better than anyone else on this planet. Yet another reason I fell for you, what can I say, bake me a pie and you’ve won yourself my heart.”

She chuckled at his ridiculous love for pies, though, she loved baking them, for Dean wasn’t the only one who loved them. She recalled multiple times that they had to fight over the last slice, resulting in them splitting it.

“#27- You can play the guitar - I love rock music, and every rock song has a guitar in it. You play the guitar. Put the pieces together. Come onnn, you can do it. Am I really gonna have to spell it out for you? Fine. I love rock music, you can play rock music, I love you. Once again, princess, you are completely oblivious.”

“Shut up,” she muttered angrily, a small smile on her face no matter how hard she tried to hold it back.

“#28- You have an amazing voice - Even though you don’t agree, me and Sam love listening to you sing. You sound like an angel and if you would, I would ask you to lull me to sleep. Your voice calms me down and always brings a smile to my face. Your voice is just as beautiful as you are, Tab, and I hope you know that, forever walking this Earth.”

She was blushing furiously, for she never thought that she was a good singer. To hear it from someone she held so dearly, was nothing short of incredible.

“#29- You always try to save everyone you can - Obviously, every hunter should try and do that, but you go above and beyond. It’s not even limited to hunting. I remember that one time a bee somehow got into the bunker and I was two seconds away from killing it. You stopped me and instead trapped it in a glass and released it back outside, saving its life. You are so pure and radiate positivity, it’s just unheard of.”

She remembered that time; Dean had his shoe in his hand and was just about to swat it until she caught his hand and took control of the situation. Tabby always had the ideology that nothing deserved to die unless it did harm to others, and it had served her well as a human being.

“#30- You gave me our child - Another thing that I am infinitely grateful for and will always love you for. Because of you, I have managed to love not two, but three people in this world with everything that I have. Our child looks just like you, sweetheart. Which means that she is the most beautiful child on this planet and she’s gonna be a heartbreaker when she grows up, just like her mom.” Tabby chuckled with a fond smile, their child really was beautiful.

She was wondering what was next, for this was the last paper, until she read the message on the bottom, “Boo!”

“Huh?” she asked out loud before she felt a presence behind her.

Turning around, she was shocked to see Dean with their daughter in his arms, Sam next to them.

“Oh my gosh, what’s this all about?” Tabby asked, getting out of her seat and taking her daughter from Dean’s hands.

“Did you forget what day it is?” Sam asked with a grin.

She thought back to the date and remembered that it was her birthday, “Oh! Right!”

Sam chuckled and shook his head while Dean just gave her a loving look, “Happy birthday, baby, I love you,” he spoke softly, before kissing her softly.

“I love you too, but what’s up with all of the numbers and the scavenger hunt?” she questioned, still as oblivious as ever.

“You’re turning thirty so I wrote thirty things that are amazing about you, sweetheart,” Dean replied, slightly smirking at his dumbfounded wife.

She felt tears prick at her eyes as she looked at him, “I love you, Dean.”

She pulled him into a hug with their child included, Hallie giggling slightly in her arms.

“And I love you, Tabatha Winchester.”

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp @shadowsinger11 @donnaintx @flamencodiva

#dean #dean fanfiction #dean imagine #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #birthday #winchest09 #dw #fluff #dean x ofc #dean winchester x ofc

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makeste · 5 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

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aqvarius · 5 years ago

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Masquerade Kiss: Do Bad Girls Like to Self-pleasure? Kazuomi Shido - otona love - chapter 2 summary/translation

sorry this is coming out a little later than i anticipated. i bought and read the entire story in advance to get a sense of the length but my strategy backfired and now after reading it, i find translating more tiring since i already know what happens lol. but there were requests for me to keep translating so naturally i had to do it. once again, i’ve placed a cut because this translation is long and image-heavy, so make sure to click the “keep reading” to see the full chapter.

you can read the previous chapter here, where kazuomi accidentally sees you doing ~something~ to yourself under the sheets...

you’ve told him to take a shower and you’re moving under the bedsheets.

feelings that he can’t remember [feeling before] well up in kazuomi at the sight of what looks like you pleasuring yourself.

“...was there a problem with how we make love?”

“i thought i satisfied both your body and soul...”

however, looking at it now, it seems like that’s not the case. perhaps you’re taking care of yourself because you’re unfulfilled or dissatisfied with his actions.

“i thought your reaction in bed last night was more than sufficient”

he thinks maybe he should have been more relaxed/taken things easier, and not just in bed. maybe he should have listened to you vent out all your work stress?

“sensitivity comes from daily heart-to-hearts...”

basically he’s saying that the connection between you two is strengthened through daily everyday communication ughaskjlsd kazuomi is so sensitive and romantic i can’t deal.

“certainly, i’ve been so busy these days that we haven’t had time to meet,” he thinks, but didn’t realise that it would have such have such a direct effect. this kind of thing has never happened to him before, so he’s unusually confused.

“is my love not being conveyed enough...?”

to calm himself down, he quietly closes the door so you won’t notice him.

you tell him you need to leave early this morning. taking your turn after him, you’ve had a quick shower and got ready in no time.

“...the mood is pretty awkward”

he wonders if you noticed what he saw, or maybe you’re just embarrassed after doing ‘that activity”.

you’re about to leave, but he says

“whoa, can’t i get a goodbye kiss?”

(there’s that cheeky おっと again)

“ah... yes...” you say, and stretch up, holding onto his shoulder to get closer to him. you usually kiss him for longer, but today it’s just a quick one. you tell him you’ll contact him again. he takes a sip of his completely cold coffee, thinking back on what you did yesterday.

“...i didn’t make any mistakes. everything should have been perfect”

“and yet, she still wasn’t satisfied...”

he had completely no idea. frowning over his cold coffee, he gets up.

anyway we’re at the club now and i’m just laughing at the background because this is the first time i’ve seen it so large (since i’m reading on my laptop) and look at how many couples are inexplicably here together? also that random couple on the second table which is mirrored in the next one lmao. and having pole dancers and cancan dancers next to each other with the musicians at the top of the stage... what kind of club do the three musketeers run...

“that night, i was at the usual place with yuzu and kei.”

he’s eating the food that’s being brought in, but the sights that he saw the other day won’t leave his head. (i’m a bit confused by the wording of this because didn’t it happen just this morning?)

kei: “how are things? kazuomi”

kazu: ahh... well...

they were making plans for a “secret room” for the new resort he’s developing. it’s progressing without any problems, but honestly that’s not the issue right now.

kei: ...kazuomi?

yuzuru: “you’re very absent minded”

kazuomi thinks that you’re feeling lonely* because you haven’t seen each other for a while. he wonders if you’ve been self-pleasuring in that way in the meantime.

*honestly i can’t tell whether or not he think you’re feeling lonely or if he’s feeling lonely bc there are no possessive pronouns lol.

so in the meantime [that you’re apart] he might have become not enough. in that case, the issue after all is the time when you can’t meet. (basically that the issue is that you don’t get to spend enough time together).

he thinks about that melty face you get in bed.

“up until now, there hasn’t been a woman i haven’t satisfied.”

the confusion he felt this morning gradually disappeared, and now he’s filled with the feeling of being faced with a new challenge. “if that’s the case, how do i satisfy her?” he wonders. he declares (in his head) that he’ll satisfy you to the point where you can’t live without him.

kei: “hm? are you planning something fun again?”

kazu: does it seem like that?

yuzuru: “when you have that look on your face, you usually are”

kazu thinks that it seems that it did show on his face.

yuzu: so, what is it that you’re going to do?

kazu: nah, it’s not a big deal

kei: you’re grinning while saying “it’s not a big deal”? you’re not fooling anyone

“talking to you guys is annoying”

(bruh lmao)

kei: hmm, now i definitely want to hear

yuzu: usually you cause trouble by yourself, but i like to be entertained too occasionally

kazu: don’t i always entertain you?

kei: well, it’s as yuzu says, the one who causes the most trouble is kazuomi

kazu: you guys never change (? not sure if i translated that right)

he thinks something about the fact that they’re poking fun at him.

kazu: actually, this time...

when he tells them what he saw, kei’s eyes widen slightly.

kei: “hmm. so mc-san** masturbates even when kazuomi’s there”

**i finally changed my name to my usual キラ but he’s basically saying your name there so i’ll use mc to refer to “your name”

yuzu: is that why you were so absent minded?

kazu: even up until now, i’ve never experienced this kind of trial the day after embracing someone

“there are countless women who have pleasured themselves during the times when we can’t meet”

(lmao!!!)

kei: well i’ll neither agree nor disagree with that... so, what conclusion have to come to as to why mc-san did “that”?

(i’m actually not 100% on what he said but i think that’s what he means through context)

kazu: i’m stumped because i have no idea

kazu: well, strongly speaking(?), i’ve been so busy lately that i couldn’t look after her***

***he means this in the emotional sense, like he hasn’t had time to worry about her concerns/really care for her

kei: but you met her in person and satisfied/appeased her, didn’t you?

kazu: that was my intent

yuzu: in other words, she wasn’t as satisfied as you thought

(bro why you gotta be so blunt lol)

“...are you trying to make me depressed by treating me like i’m seeing you for a consultation?”

yuzu: i didn’t say anything about getting a consultation

kazuomi unintentionally smiles wryly while taking a sip of champagne.

kazu: anyway, that’s the main reason ... have i not said enough? (i think basically he’s wondering if he and his mc haven’t been talking enough)

kei: to mc-san? i think you’ve said plenty. when mc-san came to masquerade just recently, you were murmuring so affectionately it was annoying.

yuzu: “yeah. the things you said were nauseating”****

****set his teeth on edge - literally make his teeth float

kazu: what words...? i don’t understand what you mean since i normally say them unconsciously

(lmao!! kazuomi is a natural cheeseball)

kei: in kazuomi’s case, i urge women to breathe (no idea what this means: kei says “息するように女性を口説くからね” if anyone can help)

“sorry but my only partner is mc now”

yuzu: “do you want a consultation? [or] do you [just] want to brag?”*****

*****惚気: speaking fondly of a love one, praising/bragging about one’s spouse

after all that, the cause of mc’s “~activity~” was still unknown.

aaand that’s the end of chapter 2! i really like the direction this story is going in. i think a lot of people’s fantasies are that he would find it really hot but honestly kazuomi just wants to fully monopolise and satisfy his lover. tbh i’d be hella insecure if i had sex with my bf and then he went to go jack off again after lol. it was really cute seeing slightly insecure kazuomi but of course i love seeing him bounce back and treat it as a challenge, as he always does with everything in life, but especially with his mc. it was really fun getting to see some quality banter between the three “S”es, although it was a nightmare to translate some of it... i did learn some new slang tho.

i hope you enjoyed this chapter! please let me know what you think is going to happen. if you want to read more of my translations from voltage’s otona love, you can read my completed translation of soma’s super steamy “not the story of your first night” (chapter one here) or check out my translations page.

i’ve set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

click here for chapter 3

#kazuomi shido #voltage smut #otona love #otkoi #summary #translation #voltage #voltage inc #voltage otome #otome game #otome blog #otome romance #love 365 #love 365 find your story #マスカレード・キス〜危険な駆け引き〜#獅堂和臣

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years ago

Note

Since you’re notorious for doing this to other people... 1-30

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

The Office! :) Though if you wanna get super technical, I used to make up stories about The Mighty Ducks characters way back when, but I didn’t really write them down.

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

Not really, I’m terrible with deadlines. I did do the Kurt Big Bang one year, and that was amazing, and I’m proud of the story that one produced. I’ve also done various exchanges, too, which is always fun.

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

I usually write primarily in chronological order, but I sketch things out so I know where they’re going. I usually have a pretty good idea of the ending, and I’ll

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

Yes! Sometimes I like making the outlines more than the actual writing. The outlines are always changing and are pretty organic. Sometimes I’m pretty good about sticking to my original plan, sometimes the story just goes where it wants to.

What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

Quietness. I really work best when there’s no one around, and very little sound. For reasons I don’t fully understand, I write better at night.

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

2000-5000. I have once gotten a 10,000 day but I don’t recommend it, cause it’s like running a marathon and not recommended. The words aren’t usually the best then.

Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Transitions and descriptive explanations.

Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I listen to it as I outline or when I’m thinking about things, but not when I write. Fic Tease -- For the Follower Celebration Fic I’m writing for y’all, I’ve been listening to a lot of Glee Season 4 ;)

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

Yes. I do AUs and Canon-Complaint, I don’t really do Canon Divergence unless I don’t know what is coming next.

Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Dialogue comes easiest, I tend to write around that. (Though I have to know what the plot is first)

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Mmmm, I don’t like any of these on their own, I don’t think I could.

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Um, no - I mean I’ve finally conquered Vampire-Smut, so I’m feeling pretty proud of myself.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

Oh, any of the hard kink stuff, nope. I also am not a big fan of the hurt/comfort stuff

If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

To write for? At the moment Kurt and Blaine.

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Oh the one I’m writing now! It’s based on that Final Season Sketch I wrote a few years ago - there’s your glee reboot ;)

What is your most underrated fic?

One Week - (Office Fic) it was pretty ambitious, but there wasn’t smut, so people didn’t read it.

What fic are you most proud of?

With Every Broken Bone! But you know, I am pretty impressed with myself that I finished Things We Say In the Shadows, since it’s a thing I never thought I’d write, let alone 69,000 words of it.

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Are you guys sick of the Toe Metaphor yet? Cause this is my favorite thing ever.

“You know what it’s like? It’s like I stubbed my toe. And my toe hurt. A lot. And I tried to ignore the pain in my toe, but after a while it got so bad that something had to be done. So, instead of taking care of my toe, I chopped off my foot. Do you know how much worse chopping off your foot feels? Of course it took me four months to figure out how much it fucking hurts. And now I don’t have a foot. Just a bloody stump. I shouldn’t have cut it off. I could have fixed the toe.”

I feel like it’s the best summation of Kurt in the summer between seasons 5 and 6.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Currently, Tina is the hardest to write -- I’m trying to find the ways she’s not Rachel.

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

Oh the weird ones - Brittany Pierce, Dwight Schrute, anyone who can be just out there and weird.

What is the one fic that got away?

That Klaine Advent one from a few years ago. I kinda stopped enjoying writing it, and I’ve never been back to it. Also the 40s Noir one, but I still may go back to that at some point.

Have you cried while writing a fic?

I have!

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I don’t know if I would, but! I know how I’d structure Things We Say in the Shadows if it were an original novel! I’d go back and forth between Kurt’s present and his past.

How did you come up with title for 236 Days?

I had to go back and look this one up, lol. It’s an Office fic, and named as such because it takes place over the 8 months of season 2 ;)

Which idea came to you first in Things We Say in the Shadows?

The reason why Blaine decides to seek out a vampire ;) Wrote the whole story based around that idea.

Which part of Twelve Days was the hardest to write?

Some of the Avengers were hard to write for -- I wasn’t sure what to do with Wanda or Bruce.

If you were ever to do a sequel to How I Met My Soul Mate, what do you think might happen in it?

I have no idea, but it’d be about Blaine being drunk ;)

In The Experiment, what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about Stucky?

They buy a goat and everyone is happy :)

Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic.

You gave me - Experiment. Sadly, it does not pop up in any of my current non-published works :(

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

Clearly, I’m going to end up writing a fic where the Glee folks are in an Office setting. (I have so much to write, my god...)

#THANKS RB! <3 #that's how s.o. sees it #ckerouac

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hysterialevi · 5 years ago

Text

Red Dead Rising | Chapter 3

Fanfic summary: 12 YEARS BEFORE RDR2 - Greed, money, and larceny. These are the only things Arthur has ever known; the only things he’s ever been taught. But when Dutch decides to hit a town called Harlow, what started out as nothing more than a plan to rob the local bank ends up igniting the events that lead to RDR2, and a 24 year-old Arthur is forced to confront his morality while the gang faces a terrifying enemy of their own making.

Point of view: third-person

This story is also on AO3 and Wattpad

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Author’s note: Apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes. It was really late when I finished this and I don’t have the energy to review it lol. Hope you enjoy regardless though :)

TWO MONTHS LATER

APRIL, 1887

INDIGO PEAK

Scribbling down a few more lines into his journal, Arthur added some last-minute touches to his sketch of Indigo Peak, doin’ his absolute best to capture what was in front of him.

There was a whole array of purple mountains just sitting in front of this camp. They all sat in a majestic, uneven line right above the horizon and towered over a gathering of evergreen trees, separating the sky from the wildlife that lived in the fields and meadows below.

The white sun also hovered above the mountains in a thick blanket of blue-tinted clouds, and provided the landscape with an abundance of rays. They passed through the space between the summits like something out of a painting, and touched the ground in a scattered pattern, giving the grass a dotted look.

It was extraordinarily beautiful, in Arthur’s opinion. He had seen nature’s beauty many times before, but... it was just one of those things that never got old.

Unfortunately for him however, he absolutely despised his drawing.

“Dammit...” Arthur muttered, smudging some of the graphite out.

How did people do this? Arthur originally got the idea to try it from Thomas who was constantly sketching away in his own journal, but the man made it look so easy. His “doodles” were always so detailed and lifelike, and in the meantime, Arthur’s looked like someone drew them in the midst of an earthquake. Or, at least, that was how he saw it.

The young outlaw let out an annoyed sigh and shut the journal closed, deciding to take a break for now as he relaxed on a nearby tree stump.

He was planning to visit Mary, anyway. The woman sent him a letter not too long ago, and apparently, she was in the region with her family. They were attending the wedding of one of her cousins and were staying at a farm that her grandparents owned, just outside of Harlow. Arthur figured he may as well stop by and say hello before they left.

He just hoped he could avoid Mr. Gillis.

None of the people in Mary’s family really liked him to begin with, but that man was an absolute menace whenever Arthur was around. The young outlaw didn’t know what the hell it would take to please Robert, but the fact that the one person who wanted him dead was the father of his fiancée worried him, to say the least.

Arthur understood Robert’s concerns about letting his daughter marry someone who was a criminal -- any good father would -- but at the same time, he thought he had more than proved himself during his time with Mary.

Arthur never put her in danger, or allowed her to get involved with the gang’s activities. He kept her well away from anything Dutch or Hosea did, and even promised to leave that life behind once he and Mary finally tied the knot. There was also the fact that little Jamie seemed to enjoy having Arthur nearby.

He just didn’t know what else he could do to show Robert that he would be a good husband. Maybe he thought Arthur wouldn’t keep his promise? Or that he was too incompetent?

Well, whatever the case was, Arthur had a bad feeling that Robert was going to be more of a headache than he originally expected. He assumed the man would’ve warmed up to him by now -- the wedding wasn’t too far away, after all -- but that obviously hadn’t happened yet.

He supposed he would just have to keep trying. Mary always told Arthur to have hope, but the young man wasn’t so sure that’d be enough anymore. Mr. Gillis was probably the most stubborn man he’d ever met in his life, and if things didn’t work out between the two of them -- well, that was a bridge they’d have to cross when they got to it.

Arthur just prayed he wouldn’t ever have to worry about that.

Breaking the silence, the sound of people arguing suddenly drew Arthur’s attention away from the landscape and cut off his train of thought, leading him to see what all the commotion was about.

It looked like Thomas and Mac were currently stuck in a spat about something at the moment, and the latter seemed to cling to his companion while he strode around camp, desperate to get away from the quarrel.

“--I’m just saying,” Mac reiterated, “we can’t wait forever!”

“And we won’t,” Thomas replied, clearly vexed. “But we need to be careful.”

The two of them came to a halt, carrying on with their argument not too far away from where Arthur was.

“C’mon, Mac. We’ve been robbing stuff with Hosea for nearly a year now. You know how this works. We make a plan, we wait, and when the time comes, we strike. It’s always the same.”

The other man crossed his arms. “Yeah, but we ain’t never robbed a bank before!”

Thomas placed his hands on his hips. “All the more reason to make sure we do this right. We only have one chance to pull this off, Mac. You understand that? One chance. Ain’t no way we can come back from this if we fail.”

Mac let out a sigh, still not convinced.

“It’s been two months, Thomas. How much longer are we gonna wait?”

Moreau leaned against a tree, shrugging. “I don’t know.”

“And what happens if the law finds out we’re here? We gonna move camp again?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, what about Shaw? Has he made any progress with Farley?”

“I don’t--!” Thomas took a breath, calming himself down. “...I don’t know.”

Arthur jumped into the conversation before the two of them could argue any further and glanced over his shoulder, trying to defuse the situation.

“Hey, uh... you boys alright?” He called out.

Thomas dismissed the question, evidently just wanting to walk away from this.

“We’re fine, Arthur,” he answered, his tone saying otherwise. “Just... a tad anxious about the upcoming robbery.”

Mac scoffed. “If it ever comes.”

That caused Moreau to snap somewhat. “Yeah, well, you got any better ideas, Callander? Maybe you think we should just run up to the bank and shoot our way through the front door? In broad daylight. Oh, and while we’re at it, we could say hello to Sheriff Farley on the way back to camp! Maybe stay at his place for a cup of tea.”

“You know what, Frenchy,” Mac fired back, “you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Why Hosea even bothers puttin’ up with your bullshit is beyond me. He shoulda left you in New Aubertin as far as I’m concerned.”

“My bullshit?” Thomas repeated. “If I recall correctly, it’s always me who’s cleanin’ up after you and Davey! Like that hell y’all raised back in Mercy when Hosea first found you.”

“Oh, you’re really gonna pull that one out now--”

“--Gentlemen!”

Bringing the dispute to an abrupt halt, a guttural voice suddenly cut Mac and Thomas off right before things started to get heated, causing everyone to fall silent as a third party joined the scene.

Sauntering in their direction, Dutch casually walked up to the pair of outlaws with an amused grin on his face as he took a long drag on his cigar, chuckling at their behavior.

“You know, gentlemen, while I do appreciate a good ol’ fashioned fight like no other man alive...” he breathed out a puff of smoke, “...I’d rather you saved the killin’ for Farley’s boys. We got enough of a storm comin’ our way as is.”

Thomas sighed wearily. “Sorry, Dutch. It’s just... folk are gettin’ restless. We been sittin’ on this bank robbery for two months now, and Shaw has yet to give us the all-clear. Some are worried that we’re never gonna pull this off.”

Dutch smiled, pointing with his cigar. “Now, listen to me son, if there’s anything you’re gonna learn from your time with me, it’s that losin’ faith never did no one any good. This robbery is going to happen, and it’s going to happen soon. In fact, I actually received a letter from Benjamin yesterday evening. He thinks we can make our move at any minute now..”

Mac’s expression lit up with a newfound interest. “What? Really? When?”

The other man didn’t promise anything just yet. “I don’t know, but I’m planning to pay him a visit in Harlow. We’ll speak to him face-to-face, and see when we can get things rolling.”

Arthur picked up on that. “We?”

Dutch turned to him. “Yes. I need you to come with me too, Arthur. Apparently, Ben’s got a job for you to do. He asked for you specifically.”

Well, it looked like Arthur wasn’t going to see Mary as soon as he thought. The young man concealed his disappointment. “...Alright, I guess.”

“Good. Then you and I will take a trip down to Harlow, see what Benjamin wants, and in the meantime...” Dutch brought his gaze to Thomas and Mac, “make sure the camp stays in one piece while we’re away, would you?”

Thomas nodded. “Things’ll be fine when you get back.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Dutch put out his cigar and headed for the horses, beckoning Arthur. “Come on, son. We got a job to do.”

Slipping the journal back into his satchel, Arthur removed himself from the tree stump and followed Dutch at a brisk pace, sticking close-by while Thomas and Mac returned to their business.

It looked like the two of them had calmed down by now, and to finish things off, they exchanged some final words before parting ways for the afternoon.

“Hey...” Mac murmured apologetically, “sorry for, um... what I said back there. Y’know I didn’t mean it.”

Thomas let out a fatigued breath. “...Sure. I know.”

The hot-tempered outlaw threw in a quick offer. “...Wanna head down to the saloon later?”

Thomas repeated his answer, although a bit more relaxed this time. “Sure.”

Arthur grinned at the sight and chuckled quietly to himself, shaking his head in amusement. He supposed he and Marston weren’t the only ones who had a relationship like that.

There was no doubt that the little boy drove Arthur insane sometimes, but deep down, the young man knew he could never really hurt John. The kid was like a baby brother to him, after all. Dutch and Hosea pretty much raised them like siblings, and underneath all the havoc, Arthur couldn’t deny that he loved Marston.

He just wished he could get some alone time once in a while. Lord knew John loved getting attention.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt any plans you had,” Dutch suddenly remarked, bringing Arthur back to the task at hand. “I know I dragged you into this rather quickly.”

Arthur decided to be honest with him. “Well, I was gonna visit Mary, actually. She’s in the region right now, and wanted to see me before she left. But it’s like you said, we got a job to do first.”

Dutch approached Belle-Dame, unhitching her from the post. “Mary’s in Harlow?”

“Not Harlow,” he corrected. “On a farm outside of it. She’s stayin’ there with her father and grandparents.”

“Ah. Well, tell you what -- we’ll just have a short chat with Benjamin, hear what updates he’s got for us, and afterwards, you can go on and see Mary. Sound good?”

Arthur mounted Abitha, readying himself for the ride. “Sounds good.”

Dutch smiled at him, climbing on top of his own horse. “Thank you for bein’ patient with me, Arthur. I know this process has been long, but we are gonna do this. We just gotta push a little bit more, and soon, that bank’ll be ours to pillage. Now, c’mon. Harlow awaits.”

~~~~~~~~~~

THE GALLOWS, HARLOW

Falling with a sudden drop, the criminal collapsed beneath the gallows’ surface and dangled morbidly in the air, causing the noose’s rope to go taut while the crowd watched in both horror and fascination.

Harlow was normally a peaceful town, and even prided itself on having such a low crime rate, but recently, things had changed for the worse... and everyone could feel it.

No one knew exactly where this feeling came from or why it was appearing so suddenly, but for the past couple of months, a peculiar sense of dread loomed over the town like a dark cloud that just wouldn’t leave.

There were more thefts, more break-ins, more fights... and even more murders. The people of Harlow were either vanishing or dying one-by-one, and as a result, the entire town was on edge. Though, no one was quite as stressed as their beloved sheriff, Ronan Farley.

The man had the population of a small city depending on him. Harlow always looked to him for answers whenever things went wrong, and normally, he was able to provide.

With everything that was going on though, the sheriff was at a loss for words. Ronan truly had no idea why the town’s overall safety had deteriorated so quickly, and the possibilities of what could’ve been at the heart of all this made him shudder.

Farley had been dealing with outlaws for long enough to know that crimes like this didn’t just fall out of the sky. There was something bigger going on here. Something lurking in the shadows... but he couldn’t act on pure speculation alone.

If Ronan was going to get to the bottom of Harlow’s turbulent situation, he’d have to hope that the people responsible would expose themselves eventually. His hands were full enough as is, and without any proper evidence to conduct a thorough search, there was really nothing more he could do.

Farley’s hands were tied.

~~~~~~~~~~

A FEW MINUTES LATER

SHERIFF’S OFFICE

“That’s the third execution this week...” Deputy Leighton said with a discouraged sigh, gazing out the window. “What is happening to this town?”

Ronan removed his hat and placed it down on the desk, offering some reassurance to his friend.

“Keep it together, Andrew,” he reminded the young lawman. “This ain’t the first time we’ve dealt with this.”

“True,” the deputy conceded, “but lately, it just feels like... the wind’s shifted in Harlow. Like our luck’s run out. There are more criminals hangin’ from the gallows than there are bounties on our wall, and this idea that we can’t do our job as lawmen anymore is startin’ to propagate.”

Andrew took a seat at the desk, leaning back in exhaustion. “...Everything’s just a mess.”

Andrew Leighton was the youngest out of the four deputies, and also happened to be the newest, apart from Deputy Shaw. He had only been working with Ronan for about six months, whereas Buchanan and Sommer had been at the sheriff’s side for a couple of years.

Andrew was twenty-one years old, and in contrast to his fellow lawmen, carried a slightly more gullible demeanor to him, often making him a target.

He wasn’t naive, necessarily. Andrew had seen more than his fair share of violence in the past, but he had also been blessed with the curse of wanting to believe the best in people. He tried to maintain the idea that no man was truly evil, and that good nature was reflected in his appearance.

Leighton had a clean-shaven face, a pair of kind blue eyes, and a head of short blond hair that he always kept in a neat style. He wore a slate-blue Classic Frock coat on top of a white shirt and black vest, and adorned a black Paragon Town hat to go with his boots.

Sheriff Farley, on the other hand, sported a much rougher temperament. The hardy man had loose and short brown hair, a full beard, and a noticeably wounded look in his eyes. He was only in his late-thirties, but had a few extra wrinkles creasing his face due to all the stress and lack of sleep.

Ronan’s usual attire consisted of a somewhat weathered Gaucho hat, a dark-brown duster coat, and a scarlet-red vest that he wore on top of an opened white shirt. His boots were nothing fancy and bore no sort of design, but they were sturdy enough... sort of like the people he worked so hard to protect.

Gazing blankly at the empty jail cells, Andrew decided to put professionalism aside for a moment and posed a more colloquial question to Ronan, hoping to get his honest opinion.

“Hey, sheriff...” he said, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Andrew softened his voice a bit, not wanting to announce their conversation to anyone in the vicinity.

“...What d’you think is really goin’ on in Harlow?”

Ronan paused at the vagueness of the question, not entirely sure what Andrew was getting at.

“What do you mean?”

The deputy took a second to clarify. “The deaths, the disappearances, the sudden lack in morale... Harlow’s had its rough patches, sure, but nothing quite like this. You think it’s all just a coincidence?”

The sheriff didn’t crack his shell just yet. “Coincidence or not, we’ll get through it.”

Andrew didn’t buy it. “...With all respect, Ronan, I’ve known you long enough to know you’re not that dense. I’m sure you out of all people can sense something’s wrong in Harlow. Something that... we might not be ready for.”

Ronan took a seat across from Leighton, hoping to relax for just a second.

“It ain’t our job to speculate, Andrew. When there’s a problem, we’ll deal with it. But we can’t go searchin’ for trouble when we don’t even know what to look for.”

“I know,” the deputy agreed, “it’s just... I hate this feeling, y’know? This feeling of sittin’ around, not being able to help the folk ‘round here. Everyone’s worried that we’ve got a rough road ahead of us, and they expect us to solve all their problems, but... we can’t even do anything without solid proof. I suppose I just wish I could do more.”

Ronan leaned forward in his chair, resting his arms on the desk.

“You’ve got a good heart, Leighton, but we’re the last people this town needs to be gettin’ paranoid. Stay vigilant, and remember to use your head. If anything does happen to Harlow, it’s gonna need all of us to protect it.”

Andrew nodded in reassurance, deciding to drop the subject for now. “...You’re right, you’re right. I can’t go startin’ trouble when there might not even be any. I gotta keep my head on my shoulders. It’s just... it’s difficult when you don’t actually have a target to shoot at yet. But... you’re right. We’ll be okay.”

The deputy stood up from his seat and headed for the door, leaving Farley to his thoughts.

“...Anyway, thanks for listenin’ to me ramble, sheriff. I didn’t mean to put all that on you. You’re a rock for more people than you realize. I just hope I can repay you someday.”

Ronan’s expression remained flat, but it was still clear to Andrew that he appreciated the remark.

“You don’t owe me anything, Andrew.”

Opening the door with a firm pull, the deputy wasted no time in getting back to work and headed out into the open, only to stop in his tracks when he found someone blocking the doorway.

It was a woman. She was about ten years older than Andrew, and a head of black hair that had been tied into a loose bun.

The dress she was wearing appeared rather simple in terms of design, but it still carried an elegant shape regardless. The upper part was a soft shade of white, and the bottom had been dyed mahogany brown. As a way to top it all off though, the woman had also tied a yellow scarf around her neck, and let most of it hang off her back like a miniature cape.

The young deputy recognized her immediately upon seeing her, and gave her a brief greeting.

“Afternoon, Mrs. Farley.”

The woman smiled in response. “Hello, Mr. Leighton.”

Allowing Mrs. Farley to step in first, Andrew waited off to the side until she was in the office before finally making his way out, shutting the door closed behind him.

As for Ronan, the man got up from his desk almost as soon as he saw his wife and approached her, concerned about what she might be doing here.

“Annabelle? Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” she replied calmly, sensing her husband’s uneasiness. “Everything’s fine. I just wanted to check up on you. You haven’t been home much lately.”

Annabelle glanced out the window, lowering her head in fear as a grim expression spread across her face.

“I... heard about the execution today. That’s the third one this week, isn’t it? Or is it the fourth?” She let out a sigh. “I can never keep up. The days seem to blur together now with all these hangings. Are you... doin’ okay, Ronan? All of this pressure can’t be easy on you.”

Ronan sat on the desk’s surface, sliding a hand down his face.

“I’ll be honest, Annabelle. I’m... I’m worried.”

Annabelle stepped in front of him and gently held his hand, rubbing it in a comforting manner.

“Worried? About what?”

The sheriff gestured to the door. “Well, Andrew was talkin’ about this just before you came in, but... he feels like Harlow’s luck has run out. As if our time as a safe hamlet is over. And I’m inclined to agree with him.”

That sparked Annabelle’s interest. “Really? Why? Has somethin’ happened?”

Ronan shook his head. “Nothing in particular, but it don’t take a genius to see that Elijah, Curtis, and Suzanna’s murders are connected. Accordin’ to the evidence we found, they were three separate cases with three different killers -- and we hanged all of ‘em -- but... something just doesn’t feel right. Even after all that chaos, it feels incomplete.”

Annabelle took on a more steadfast tone. “Well, what do you think is happening? Forget the evidence. Forget what people are saying. What does your gut tell you?”

The sheriff fell silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“...I think there’s more goin’ on here than we can see. I think somethin’ big is coming our way. I dunno what, or how, or even when... but I believe the true killer is still out there. The murders just seemed too similar. Too easy to solve. It all felt contrived to me, and I believe Harlow won’t be safe so long as the real murderer is still roamin’ about. I believe it’s gonna get a whole lot worse before it gets better.”

The woman furrowed her brows in anxiety, mindlessly tightening her grip.

“...You’re frightening me, Ronan.”

The man snapped out of his suspicions for the time being and put them aside, bringing a loving hand up to Annabelle’s face.

“I’m... I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to scare you. Things have just been tense around Harlow these past couple of months. I guess I needed to get that off my chest more than I realized. But don’t you worry. I’ll be home tonight. Before you go to bed.

Annabelle beamed at that, afterwards pecking a kiss on Ronan’s cheek. “Good. I miss you.”

The sheriff chuckled softly at that. “I miss you too.”

Mrs. Farley took a step back, still grinning from their conversation. “Well, I’ll let you go now. I’m sure you have many things to attend to. Just... be careful, okay? Harlow needs you now more than ever. And so do I.”

Ronan nodded firmly. “I will. The same goes for you.”

“Of course.”

Annabelle wandered closer to the door, offering some last-minute advice to the troubled sheriff before she left.

“These are strange times, Ronan. The only way we’re gonna get through them is with each other. Don’t forget that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

THE BLUE BRONCO SALOON, HARLOW

Sitting on top of a barrel, Arthur avidly sketched in silence while Dutch slowly paced around in boredom as the two of them stayed patiently behind Harlow’s saloon, waiting for Benjamin to turn up.

It had been quite a long time ever since Arthur last saw Ben. The man visited their camp occasionally to keep Dutch updated on things, but Arthur couldn’t remember the last time he and Ben actually sat down together and just... talked.

He wondered what he looked like now. What he was doing. How he was getting on.

Sure, Ben wasn’t always the nicest man, or even the most righteous, but as strange as it sounded, that was one of the reasons why Arthur liked him. To him, it made Ben seem to more genuine.

He may not have always been the most eloquent with his words, and sometimes he straight-up tried to avoid people, but Arthur knew that deep down, Ben never worried about hiding behind some sort of pretense.

He said what he meant, and he meant what he said, so there was never any doubt whenever Benjamin expressed his thoughts. Ironically though, he was the one Dutch chose to act as somebody else.

Arthur didn’t know why Dutch thought he’d be the best person to work as a mole. Ben never struck him as somebody to go undercover like this, but despite Arthur’s concerns, Dutch seemed to have no skepticism surrounding Benjamin’s capabilities. According to him, he was the “perfect” man for the job.

Arthur just hoped everything would turn out okay. The gang had worked so hard and for so long to get this robbery done, that for something to go wrong now would’ve been a major setback.

The folks back at camp were nervous enough about robbing a bank for the first time, and Arthur didn’t even wanna think about the chaos that would ensue if their plan failed.

It was like Thomas said. They only had once chance to get this right, and there was no room for impulse. They needed to focus.

“Whatcha workin’ on there, cowboy?” Dutch asked, making Arthur pause mid-sketch.

“Drawing.” The boy answered simply.

His companion smirked. “Oh? Drawing what?”

Arthur shrugged. “...Things.”

“That so? What kinda things?”

The young man gestured aimlessly at their surroundings, admittedly somewhat shy to talk about it. “Y’know, stuff. That we see. Horses, people, trees.”

Dutch chortled humorously at that. “Oh, okay.”

Arthur sighed. “Look, it ain’t nothin’ fancy, alright? I just do it when I’m bored.”

The other man’s grin only grew wider at his annoyance. “Well, please, don’t let me disturb you. Carry on with drawing your... ‘things.”

The young outlaw mentally groaned to himself, returning to his work.

Just before he could start sketching again however, a third person walked into the scene, causing both of them to divert their attention.

“Gentlemen.” Benjamin Shaw greeted flatly, strolling in their direction.

Benjamin was a scraggly-looking man with sunken cheeks due to his growing addiction to alcohol, and displayed a collection of small scars on his face, the most prominent one being a thin, horizontal gash that sat just above his left brow.

As for his hair, it was chocolate-colored and reached long enough to touch his shoulders. In terms of style though, the strands were rather tangled and messy, and his facial hair wasn’t anymore tame.

Benjamin had nothing more than a prickly layer of scruff sticking to his jawline, but there was a slim gap in his mustache from another scar that sliced downwards across his mouth.

On the topic of clothes though -- at the moment, Benjamin was wearing a black Collar Overshirt with a hickory-colored leather jacket that made his badge stand out like a beacon in the night, and he adorned a dark pair of trousers as well as some Sleeked Riding boots to match the Stalker hat that he always wore.

Overall, he looked pretty much the same compared to when Arthur last saw him, and that made the young man happy.

“There you are!” Dutch replied excitedly. “How the hell are you, my boy?”

Benjamin didn’t appear to return the enthusiasm. If anything, he looked exhausted.

“I feel like shit and I look like shit, but I got some information you might be interested in, Dutch. Though, it ain’t all good news, I’m afraid.”

Dutch’s expression dimmed instantly at the news. “Straight to the point, I see. Very well, then. What is it?”

Benjamin lowered his voice. “Well, the good news is I think we’ll be able to hit the bank soon. Ronan and his deputies trust me. It took some convincing, believe me, but they finally see me as one of their own.”

“Extremely well done, Ben. I knew you was the right feller for this job. When do you think we’ll be able to rob the bank?”

The “deputy” thought for a minute. “Give me... one more week. I’ll be able to get things rollin’ by then.”

Dutch switched to a more serious tone. “Just one more week? Are you certain? We don’t wanna rush this.”

Benjamin insisted. “I’m certain. I’ve got the whole town on edge with a string of recent crimes, and tensions are startin’ to build. Now is the time to do this. If we wait too long, this may not work.”

The other man nodded in understanding. “Okay, then. I trust your judgement. One more week and then we’ll finally hit this goddamn bank. I’ll let the people back at camp know. Now... what’s the bad news?”

Shaw leaned in a bit more, making sure that no one else could hear them.

“I did some investigatin’ into Sheriff Farley, and it turns out, that ain’t even the man’s real name.”

“What?” Dutch questioned, taken aback. “Then what the hell is it?”

Benjamin was quiet for a second, almost like he was worried to see his friend’s reaction.

“O’Driscoll.”

Arthur’s eyes popped wide open. “You’re shittin’ me. The sheriff of this town is an O’Driscoll?”

“Not just any O’Driscoll,” Ben clarified. “He’s Colm’s older brother.”

Dutch’s face scrunched into a glower. “How d’you know this?”

“I overheard Ronan and his wife talkin’ about it,” Benjamin explained. “Apparently, he changed his name to ‘Farley’ many years ago ‘cause he didn’t wanna be associated with the O’Driscolls no more. Sounds to me like he and Colm didn’t get along.”

“So, he’s not working with the gang?” Arthur asked.

“No. I don’t think so. Ronan’s got a strong hatred for outlaws. I highly doubt he’d ever work with them.”

“Still,” Dutch added, “it’s something to think about. When we first arrived at New Aubertin, Thomas told me there had been rumors of the O’Driscolls being in this region. If Colm’s got any affection left for his brother, and he finds out what we’re doing -- we need to be extra careful from here on out.”

“Agreed.”

“Well,” Dutch said, heading back to his horse, “I’m gonna return to camp. Let ‘em know about the plan. In the meantime, Arthur will help you out with that job you mentioned. Stay safe, you two. And keep a low profile. We’re this close to robbin’ that bank. We ain’t botching it now.”

Taking his leave, Dutch removed himself from the saloon’s vicinity and rode back to camp like a bat out of hell, eager to deliver the good news to the gang as the sun steadily began to set.

Meanwhile, Arthur stayed behind with Benjamin and simply remained seated on his barrel while the other man found a comfortable spot next to him, leaning against the saloon’s wall in a casual manner.

“So...” Arthur began, “what was that job you had for me?”

Ben took off his hat, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead. “There was no job.”

The young man raised a brow. “What? So why’d you ask Dutch to bring me here?”

“Because you’re one of the few people I like to talk to, and I need a break from this mess.” Benjamin quickly lit a cigarette, offering one to Arthur. “Anyway... how’ve you been? Things goin’ good at camp?”

Arthur took the cigarette and waited for Ben to light it, continuing the conversation. “As good as they can be. I’m plannin’ to visit Mary later. Apparently, she’s in the region.”

The other man’s face sagged with obvious disapproval. “Ms. Gillis is here?”

“Yes. You mean to tell me you still don’t like her?”

Benjamin put out the match. “It ain’t that simple, Arthur. Mary’s a sweet girl -- I ain’t suggestin’ otherwise. I just don’t know how serious she is about marrying you.”

Arthur couldn’t deny that he struck a nerve. “What do you mean by that? She said yes, didn’t she?”

“Well yeah, but how long before that dusty, old shithead father of hers gets in the way? You really think he'll have no influence on Mary? He’s already tryin’ to put your head on a pike as it is.”

The young man let out a cloud of smoke. “Mary loves me, Ben. And I love her. Nothing’s separatin’ us. Besides, what her father does ain’t her fault. I really don’t understand why you and Grimshaw dislike her so much. ”

Benjamin sighed in defeat. “We’re just lookin’ out for you, Arthur. You’re a good man. Much better than a lot of us. We don’t wanna see you get hurt. But... if you trust her, then I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I did too. Just don’t expect me to weclome her with open arms anytime soon.”

Arthur picked up on Benjamin’s agitated tone, suddenly worried about his friend’s well-being. This wasn’t just about Mary... was it?

“Hey...” he said, speaking more softly, “r’you good, Ben? I mean, you’ve always been an angry bastard, but you seem especially irritated today. What’s goin’ on?”

Thinking to himself for a moment, the deputy remained quiet and ignored Arthur’s question as he thought about what to say next, clearly conflicted about something.

It was unusual for Ben to be so reserved. He wasn’t a social butterfly by any means, but... even then, this sort of behavior was odd for him. Normally, he’d crack a joke or two -- maybe throw in a hint of sarcasm here and there, but today, he was completely serious.

It made Arthur suspect that this whole job was having more of a toll on Benjamin than anyone in the gang truly understood. Dutch did kind of force him into this, after all, and Arthur really had no idea what sort of experiences Ben was going through in order to get the gang where they were now.

Arthur just hoped that Ben wasn’t angry with him personally. It was no secret that Dutch favored the young man over anyone else in the gang, and part of Arthur couldn’t help but feel as if that was what got him out of doing this job, despite the fact that Hosea originally planned to send him or Thomas.

Just what was going on?

“...Y’know what, Arthur,” Benjamin finally said, sounding far more drained than before, “I won’t lie to you. These past two months with Ronan and his men... they’ve opened my eyes to some things. Things that... that make me question everything I’ve done in my life.”

Arthur turned to face him. “What d’you mean?”

Shaw looked at him with a guilt-ridden gaze, taking a drag on his cigarette.

“...I’ve done some terrible stuff throughout the years, Arthur. Stuff that even you don’t know about. I’ve hurt people like it was nothing, killed others for the sake of money, and even turned my back on a few folks who loved me just like you and Dutch do. But... after workin’ with Farley, I’m not sure that’s the man I wanna be anymore.”

Arthur quirked a brow at the statement. “Wait, are you sayin’ you wanna become a lawman for real?”

“Not a lawman,” Ben corrected, “but I dunno if I’m gonna be returning to the gang after this robbery. I’m thinkin’ of maybe going my own way. Starting a different life with the money we take, while I still have the chance. I’m... I’m sorry, Arthur. I probably should’ve said something sooner.”

The young man protested. “You can’t leave, Ben. We need you in this gang. Not only are you one of the best people we’ve had, you’re also my friend. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Benjamin flipped the subject to him. “And what about you? You’re gonna be a husband soon, Arthur. Possibly even be a father someday. You can’t stay in this life forever. It’s gotta be left behind eventually if you wanna be there for your family.”

Arthur felt admittedly somewhat cornered by the response.

“I-I know. And I’ll leave it behind when the time comes, but I still owe it to Dutch to stick with him throughout this whole thing. He saved my life. Yours, too. You’ve said it yourself.”

“Yeah, but my life wasn’t worth savin’ when he first found me. I wanna make sure that it is before I go.”

Somewhat overwhelmed by Benjamin’s sudden confession, Arthur gave the man nothing but a concerned gaze in response and simply sat there with a cigarette in his hand, watching the smoke dance from its tip as it slowly burned away.

Meanwhile, Benjamin threw his to the ground and swiftly stubbed it out with his boot, marking the end of their conversation.

“Do me a favor, Arthur,” he said before returning to his work. “Don’t become the same man I was. When the time comes, make sure you do what’s right.”

Arthur wasn’t sure how to take that advice. “It ain’t always that easy, Ben.”

“I never said it would be easy,” he countered. “In fact, it’s probably gonna be a goddamned nightmare before any of this blows over... but it’ll be worth it. So long as you do the right thing. Remember that.”

With that being said, Benjamin walked off into the busier parts of town just as more people started pouring out of the different establishments around Harlow, ready to go back home for the evening.

He threw a casual wave over his shoulder, saying one last goodbye.

“Take care of yourself, Arthur. Lord only knows what the future holds.”

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption #rdr2 #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 story #rdr2 prequel #rdr2 oc

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magic-owl · 5 years ago

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i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

#owl gets an ask #long post #wolf-skins

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jennygirl2014 · 6 years ago

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GSTC2~The Return of a Hero~Chapter 14

(A/N: I’m so proud of myself. Not just for updating again lol but because this chapter came so organically. No real warnings, except that this is a tear jerker.)

Warnings: None, just some fluff and teary eyed moments. Mentions of loss of a child.

Desirae had finally pulled herself together and managed to dress her own wounds. Steve’s words still buzzed around in her head like an angry swarm of bees, and it made her jaw clench. He was right, she hated it, but he was right. She had given herself no value, and refused to look past the consequences of her accident. Could the mind be that powerful, to keep the body from healing? How much of her pain was all in her head? Of course, not all of it. But maybe some of it. She never wanted pity, but was that what she was looking for now? What had changed in her? Maybe the accident reminded her of something she almost forgotten after years of working for SHIELD…she was still human.

The sound of her communicator going off interrupted her thoughts, causing her to whip her head around and focus on the nightstand. It sat there lighting up, waiting to be answered. At first she reached for it, then hesitated. Could she handle the possible bad news? Did she want to hear from Mike? Or perhaps it was Fury, checking in. She figured after a second, she didn’t have a choice. Once her fingers grasped the device she answered it, her voice still low and shaky from her long train of thought.

“Hello?”

“Des…” it was Tina, and she sounded upset, “Are you okay?”

“Tina?” she almost didn’t recognize her friend’s voice, and she grew worried, “What’s wrong?” She heard Tina sob, “What is it?” her heart started pounding.

“Todd and Morgan are dead.” Tina cried. Desirae didn’t have to think long to remember who Todd and Morgan were. They were two other agents in her unit, they had actually gotten married shortly before the accident. They were such a funny couple, always making everyone laugh, they were like family to her. Flashes of their faces ran through her brain, two young, vibrant, strong people, now gone.

“How?” she was struck by the news.

“They were found in their home just this morning…someone shot them in their sleep.” Tina cried more, sniffling and sobbing. Des’s blood ran cold, and her hand started trembling. She wasn’t there. Her team was dying off and their fearless leader was nowhere around.

She wasn’t even sure if she could be their fearless leader anymore. The guilt started to break her, and she caught her eyes welling with tears.

“And we still don’t know where Liz is.” Tina cried more. “Des…our team is dying. They’re picking us off a little at a time. Please tell me you’re safe.”

“I’m safe.” Her voice cracked, and she spoke again with more strength, “I’m fine. I’m at a safehouse.”

“Are you alone?”

“No,” she thought for a moment, she didn’t want to give away Clint and his family, “I’m with Steve again. We’re both here, but we should be leaving soon.”

“Oh, thank God.” Tina sounded relieved, and she sniffled again. “Please…you have to get here safely.” She opened her mouth to tell Tina about the car accident, about getting shot and Steve pulling her lifeless body from the lake, but she quickly decided against it. Tina was already upset; she didn’t need to know about the close call.

“I will. I promise I will.” And her voice cracked again as a tear streamed down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. “And then we’re going to rain hell fire down on these sons of bitches.” She clenched her jaw at the thought of avenging her fallen comrades.

“Can we?” Tina’s voice sounded so small, “Can you…still do it?” she was questioning her. How did Tina seem to know that she was questioning herself at that very moment? It was the million-dollar question. Could she go back to being who she was before? Did she still have what it takes to be a commander?

“I have to try.” She didn’t want to lie. She swallowed the lump in her throat and drew in a deep, steadying breath. She would try.

“I know.” Tina sounded more at ease. “I’m waiting for you, boss.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Des nodded to herself, wanting to believe the very words coming from her lips, “I will.”

“Goodbye Des.” Tina suddenly excused herself, maybe not wanting to doubt Desirae, but Des had a feeling that’s what she was doing.

“Bye.” She didn’t question her friend, and hung up.

Des sprang up from where she was sitting, riled up, ready for a fight, pushing aside her feelings of guilt and sadness, now she was enraged. There was a war going on, and she was missing out. She didn’t want to take the time to heal, she didn’t want to take the time to find the courage, if she went out in a maddening fury of bullets, blood and vengeance then so be it. She couldn’t wait any longer, duty was calling. Ignoring her pain and limping, she marched out the door and down the stairs, making her way past any details of that house she was staying in, everything a blur, until she reached the ground floor and stopped to look around. There was a screen door to her right, across the room, and she jogged over to it and swung it open while her blood was still boiling hot, but who she was looking for was still not in sight. She cleared the wooden porch in three strides and made her way down the few steps where she was greeted with warmth and sunshine, but nothing lifted her mood.

The sound of children laughing tickled in her ear, and she turned and looked to her right to see Steve playing outside with two children. Before, nothing was stopping her from marching out of that house, finding that man and insisting that they be on their way, but seeing him with those two kids took the purpose from her being. She watched on as he gripped a football in his arms and playfully pushed through the two children, minding his strength and making sure not to harm them as they pushed against him, trying to keep him from advancing. While laughing he scooped up the young girl in one arm and held her close, the boy now behind him and gripping onto his jeans, yelling boisterously in good fun as Steve dragged him forward. Once Steve had pushed past an old tree stump, he set the girl down and the boy released his grip, all three of them laughing. The boy tackled Steve, and Steve theatrically fell down onto the ground. The kids jumped on top of him, squealing and cheering in their own victory. He could have easily pummeled those children, but he was so gentle. He looked just like a big kid himself.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, but she shook it away. Now was not the time to have her heart fluttering.

“Oh no, you’ve got me!” she heard Steve call a fake cry for mercy, and then he went limp on the ground, playing dead. He was enjoying himself.

“Get up! You’re not hurt!” the boy jeered, but Steve still didn’t move. “Steve?” the boy sounded worried after a second and stopped attacking the grown man.

“Steve?” the little girl now tried to revive him as she sat on his chest, “Steve, are you dead?” her tone was very skeptical. Steve suddenly sprung to life and grabbed the two kids, making them squeal, and he gave a hearty laugh.

It was like something out of one of her dreams.

“Steve!” she called out to him, having to end the little scene that was pulling at her heartstrings, making her think about what could have been. He looked up from the ground and saw her standing there. He got up and excused himself from his smaller playmates and jogged over to her, sensing her distress.

“You’re outside.” He stated the obvious, perhaps surprised to see her.

“We have to go.” She stated, sternly.

“Now? Why?” he questioned her.

“Two more members of my unit are dead, and still no word from Liz.” She lowered her tone, “We need to go, now.”

“And just what are you going to do?” he questioned her further, and her eyes went wide with disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? My team is dying! I’m needed! I have to fight!”

“Not yet.” He cut her off, casually.

“What do you mean, not yet?”

“You’re not ready, yet.” He moved the football from his left hand into his right.

“It doesn’t matter! Someone has to go get these sons of bitches before my whole unit dies!”

“Shh!” he shushed her roughly and nodded in the direction of the two children, “Not so loud! You’re going to scare them. And watch your language.” He reminded her.

“I. Have. To. Go. Now!” she repeated, more hushed this time.

“Steve, toss the ball!” the boy interrupted from where he was standing. Steve pivoted and tossed the football, showing off his athletic physique. It flew perfectly to the boy, who caught it with ease.

“Are you listening?”

“Des, you’re not ready.” He turned back to her. “You just almost got yourself killed and you’re still healing, are you sure you want to throw yourself back into it?”

“Yes I’m sure!” she snapped.

“Okay, you’re sure?” he leaned in and spoke with a challenging tone, “Come here.” He gripped her arm and pulled her towards the car, which she had not seen since arriving. It was parked on the grass by an old barn, just a few yards away. She didn’t pull her arm back from his grip and she followed him angrily until he reached the driver door and swung it open, releasing her arm and leaning in to grab something from the console. She stood there and waited, looking around for the first time, seeing that they were in the middle of nowhere. It looked so peaceful, like something out of a painting, and yet she still had no idea where she was. Steve stood back up to face her and showed her what was in his hand, her handgun. “Don’t let the kids see.” He warned her. She stared down at it, seeing how he gripped the barrel and offered the handle for her to grip. “Take it.”

She took it from him slowly, feeling the weight of it as he let it go. It felt foreign, and heavy. The coolness of it made goosebumps rise on her arm, and her stomach felt like it was in knots. Her lips parted and she drew in a shaky breath. What was wrong with her? “Is it loaded?” he asked her. Why was he asking her that? Her hand started to tremble, the sound of the gun rattling in her grip hit her ears. She furrowed her brow, not knowing why she was trembling so much. “Is it loaded? The weight. Can you tell if it’s loaded?” he asked her more, and she had no answer. The truth slapped her in the face. She didn’t know. She had no clue. Her hand began to tremble more and she let out a puff of air involuntarily. Was she panicking?

“You’re not ready.” Steve snatched the gun back from her and put it back in the car. She stood there in shock, and in disappointment. What had happened to her? Where was her nerve? He stood back up to face her and stepped closer to her, into her space, making her hold her breath. “You’re angry. I get that. You want to help. You want to return to duty. But getting yourself killed isn’t going to help anyone.” He paused, “I’m not going to let you do that. I want to end this just as badly as you do. But not today. Not yet.” He took a step back from her. “You need to relax.”

“Steve?” the young boy called for him again. He turned and began to walk back towards the children.

“Was it loaded?” she asked him, spitting out the question without thinking, just wanting an answer.

“Do you really think I’d hand you a loaded gun in the state that you’re in?” he turned back to her.

Shit, he was right to be cautious.

“Come on,” he nodded in the other direction, “Toss the ball with us, it’ll help clear your mind.” She faltered, staying in her spot, eyeing him. “I know you Des, even though you like to pretend like I don’t.” he let a smirk creep across his lips, “And I know you’re not a fan of children but…you should at least meet them.”

“I just found out members of my unit were murdered, and you want me to go play? With children?” she was appalled by the idea.

“Why not?” he made it sound so simple. She finally thought to start walking away from the car, and once they got closer to the children, Des took a sudden turn to the right to walk back up onto the porch, in an attempt to avoid meeting them. Steve must have expected this, because he gripped her elbow before she could even take a step in the other direction, and proceeded to pull her forward, until she was standing before the young boy and girl. She looked down at them, showing only mild contempt in her mind, and they stared back up at her, perplexed. “Guys, this is Desirae.” He introduced them to her, “Desirae, this is Cooper and Lila.” He introduced her to them. Something about them staring at her made her feel uneasy. Like they could see right through her.

“Uh…hi.” She realized she had to say something.

“Hello.” The boy, Cooper, replied, not showing much excitement.

“Are you the lady who is staying in our attic?” the little girl, Lila, asked innocently.

“Yes, I am.” Desirae gave a quick answer.

“Dad says you don’t need the air conditioner up there because you’re already so cold.” Cooper spoke, most likely not even sure of the meaning of what he was saying.

“Your dad thinks he’s funny.” Des gave a grim response to the snarky comment.

“Alright, let’s play a game.” Steve quickly changed the subject.

“Are you a superhero?” Lila asked another question. Des was struck by her inquiry and furrowed her brow. She didn’t know how to reply.

“I…uh…”

“She’s a commander,” Steve spoke in a very light tone to Lila as he explained it to her, “So she led a lot of brave people to protect everyone against the bad guys.” She was somewhat flattered by his answer.

“That sounds like a hero to me.” Lila suddenly sported a big smile, showing off the tiny gaps between her teeth. Des pegged her to be no older than eight years old. Suddenly, her heart softened, and a warm sensation crept up on her.

This little girl was sweet. Young, and innocent. Maybe she wasn’t so bad. Maybe if she hadn’t lost her baby in the accident, and if it were a girl, she would have been similar to Lila. Maybe she would have seen her as a hero too. Her thoughts descended into sadness quickly, wishing she could have changed the past. But before she could make herself any more depressed, Steve shoved the football into her ribs, knocking her out of her thoughts and back into reality. She gripped the ball and looked down at it, feeling rather empty inside. Not in any mood to be playing with these children.

“I want Desirae on my team!” Lila chirped as she grabbed Des’s elbow, and Des’s eyes shot right down onto the girl’s happy face. And then she felt a small smile of her own growing across her lips. Something about Lila was working magic on her gruff and cold façade.

“Steve’s on my team! Boys against girls!” Cooper jogged backwards, preparing for another game. Des looked up at Steve who was smiling at her. Did he plan this?

“Okay, let’s play fair, no shoving this time.” Steve told the children as he stepped backwards, lining up with Cooper. Of course, good old Steve, laying down the rules and making sure everyone played nice.

They played with the football for about an hour, Des and Lila trying to get the football past one tree stump and Steve and Cooper trying to run past the other. It was a simple game, but the children enjoyed it so much that it made the task seem less tedious and more enjoyable. Once they grew tired of that game, they moved onto hide and seek. And when Lila found a snake where she was trying to hide, she ran to Des in such a fright that she had practically tried to climb up her like a tree. The accidental jostling a bumping hurt her a bit, but she didn’t get upset, instead she went over and found the snake, picked it up and tossed it elsewhere. Lila, who was baffled by Des’s bravery, clung to her like glue for the rest of their time outside. It initially made Des feel uneasy, but before it could wear her down too much, they were all called inside for dinner.

It wasn’t until everyone was sitting at the dinner table that Des actually met Clint’s youngest son, a toddler name Nathan. The baby was a happy, chubby, practically bald-headed little sprout with rosy cheeks. Des and Steve sat at one end of the table and watched Clint and Laura orchestrate the event that was eating dinner at the table with three children. Spaghetti noodles were hanging off of plates, tomato sauce smeared on faces and dropped on shirts, Lila spilled her glass of milk which sparked a brief spat between her and Cooper, Clint cleaned up the mess and got her a new glass, Laura fed Nathan and ignored the gobs of baby food that he flung around while bouncing and slapping his hands at his high chair. Laura eventually gave up on the mushy baby food, explaining how he didn’t like peas and wiped his messy face before taking him out of his high chair and balancing him in one arm while bottle feeding him and managing to put some food in her own mouth.

It was exhausting just watching the scene unfold. But still, Des started to admire something about Laura and how kind and gentle she was, especially with her children. She wondered if she could have been the same way, which seemed so unreal for her. Nothing about her was mothering or nurturing, and it was Laura’s second nature. Once the children finished their food, they were excused to go read and settle down for the night, while the adults stayed at the table, along with Nathan who was still enjoying his bottle.

“You sure have your hands full.” Steve mentioned with a smile

“You have no idea,” Clint offered as he sat back in his chair, “Sokovia was a vacation compared to dealing with these little monsters.” Laura playfully slapped her husband’s arm.

“Sokovia? What happened in Sokovia?” Des asked.

“Oh, you didn’t hear about all of that? Really?” Clint sounded surprised.

“It’s a long story.” Steve offered, “I’ll fill you in on it later.”

“Tony almost got us all killed with this big murder bot he built name Megatron.”

“Ultron.” Steve corrected him.

“Whatever he was.” Clint laughed.

“I don’t miss Tony all that much if I’m being honest.” Des spoke up again. “He gets to make a mess and then look like a hero when he cleans it up. Not to mention he’s a jack…” she caught herself as she saw the children out of the corner of her eye, “A butthead.” She corrected herself. She heard Steve chuckle from next to her and she turned to see him smiling at her, a bright, shining smile. It made her heart flutter a bit.

Wasn’t that how it all got started? Her hating him, him breaking down her icy walls, making her heart flutter with his charm and his smile. The memory made her tingle and her jaw tighten. Was she doomed to repeat history with this man? She hated to admit it to herself, but seeing him play and have fun with those kids made her melt a bit. Damn that man for knowing how to coax that softness out of her.

“Let me help you with the dishes, Laura.” Steve said as he stood up, “And thank you again, it was delicious.” He gave her a compliment as he collected the dirty dishes from the table. Laura smiled wide and her eyes sparkled. Steve was the ultimate gentleman, as usual. No woman was safe from his charm, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

“Thank you, Steve!” she turned to Clint, “When’s the last time you helped with the dishes?”

“I get it,” he groaned as he stood up too, “I’m on it.”

“Thank you, honey.” Laura played nice.

“Yeah, yeah…” he bent down and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

After everyone retreated to bed, Des laid there and looked at the ceiling, listening to the soft sound of the ceiling fan running and the crickets outside. Her hand was resting under her shirt, her fingers on one of her scars, feeling the bumps and rough skin under her fingertips. Under those scars where her hand was resting was once an unborn child, a soul that never got a chance. Something about seeing these children and Clint and Laura all together as a happy family brought her peace, but at the same time it was ripping her heart to shreds. She could never have that domestic bliss, although she swore she never wanted it before. She felt like a failure, like a scarred husk of soullessness and shame. If only she could sleep through the guilt, maybe she would feel better in the morning.

Her sleep could have been restful if her dreams were not so sweet and sickeningly haunting. She dreamt she was at a playground on a warm summer day, the sun was shining, birds were chirping, there was a light breeze, it was a fairytale kind of day. She was pushing a young girl on a swing, being careful not to push too high, watching her pigtails flutter back and forth as she did on that swing. She couldn’t see her face, but she could feel her body under her hands when she pushed her. She could hear her sweet little voice as she giggled and squealed in joy, calling back to her, “Higher Mommy! Push me higher!” she didn’t know that voice, but she did. That was the sweet sound of her daughter. There was joy in her heart and peace in her entire body, and so much love radiating from her for that little human whose face she could not see. And then she called out again, “Daddy!” she instinctively stopped the swing so the little girl could jump off. She hurried off of the swing and ran with her tiny frame reaching for someone. It all played out so slowly. There was Steve, kneeling with his arms stretched out and a huge grin on his face. He took the little girl in his arms as she wrapped her tiny limbs around him. He stood up slowly as he placed a kiss on the girl’s cheek. That was his daughter. That was their child. He carried the girl as he approached her, smiling, beaming with joy. They were a family. She reached for the tiny girl, to turn her, to see her face. She so desperately needed to see her face.

A loud bang awoke her with a jolt. Her eyes flew open, seeing nothing but darkness and blurry lines. Then a bright flash, and another bang. It was storming. She had to get a grip on her surroundings. She sat up, out of breath, sweating, remembering where she was. The attic. Clint’s farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. It was just a dream. A vivid, tormenting dream. Was this a sign? Was that soul she lost destined to be a beautiful daughter? She never got to see her face. Her brain was spinning, trying to recall the memories of that faceless little girl. Memories of Steve, his happiness, their happiness. Memories of something that never happened, and never would happen.

Thank goodness for the storm. The rain and thunder played a song on the outside of the house, loud enough to drown out the sound of her pitiful sobbing.

Next chapter here.

@fay-1994 @ellebelle2016

#steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #mcu fan fiction #captain america fan fiction

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 7 years ago

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Eurovision 2018 Rehearsals Day 7 - Actual first impressions

Russia: Weaklish weaklings, the sudden cuts to Julia’s closeup are a bit jarring. Kind of a weaksauce presentation with trying to be something else than it actually is. The pretty lights shouldn’t be saving it all.

Moldova: Still the same staging, but from the eurovision.tv clip I don’t really like how the chorus is sung. I’d rather if Marina did the same as she did in the national final, not try to sing in the same monoton...y(???) for the first two lines in each 4 pieces of the chorus. And as someone said, your song seems to be terrible if you think the staging can save it from failure... well the package is charming, albeit the song’s sounding dated af, but it’s Kirkorov, and nothing touched by Kirkorov ever fails... unless Kirkorov himself sings it. He’s like Björkman, except that he’s not a Russian HoD, but just merely a mentor. (Also somehow I missed both of their rehearsals in full vocally, whether on purpose or being in the English writing exam. I am so curious about the ending harmony bit of the song!)

The Netherlands: Ooh, proper camera shots do their work on this. With such, no one at home will notice these randomly dancing ‘bandmates’. I have a bone to pick with one camera shot though, it seems to be unnecessarily repeated straight after itself being shown once.

Australia: I like this dress. But sweet Jesus these vocals she displayed... the high notes especially were kind of goat-like and got me giggling together with people on the ESCXtra livestream... I’m so sorry Jess. You tried though. I bet she might as well be stellar in the jury dress rehearsal just to give Australia an excuse to qualify.

Georgia: Looks like a band that came to do their thing and went. The sound mixing in the clip was a little iffy on these guys though, I was expecting more of complete harmonizing in the last part of the song, now their vocals are just crashing into each other. Also gotta love how each vocalist got a camera shot on his own in the preview clip

Poland: Oh my, separate shots focusing on Lukas and Gromee? Ugh... Well basically, there was one long shot of Lukas walking way farther from the stage, and is still doing something like shouting the word “jump!”, which I hope he does WAY less when doing dress rehearsals AND actual live show(s). I love his elongated “goooooooo”s, that’s why. Who cares if you cannot recreate some effects that you DJ scratched on? Speaking of DJ, look at them dance moves provided by Gromee. He’s moving in his DJ booth interesting-ly and gets camera spun around him in the preview video, thinking we’re getting something else but instead we’re back to Gromee... moreover, Gromee for that time keeps his back against the viewers so it comes off as a bit awkward of a choice.

Malta: The camera shots b random in this one. Glitch cut to zoom out of the stage with fire effects shooting out during the bridge, immediate random cuts in between towards the dancer and Christabelle. I hoped this would move more smoothly. The other thing that’s smooth is Christabelle’s performance in itself. I think she’s wearing better clothes now? Not sure tbh. Oh and this is the first artist that came onto the ESCXtra’s livestream by itself and didn’t come from the interview room. Granted, she was briefly there in between the Hungarian rehearsal problems (such as it failing to take off as planned), but she arrived and had one more chit-chat with us lovely viewers. She did get to hear my comment about me wearing her hoop earrings she wore at the time, and then said she didn’t know where she got them from. xD Lovely posh lady. Sadly the song is lacklustre, as have been many songs of many others who tried a million times (lol Romanian entry) that have been selected to Eurovision. I admit, I have never heard of Ira’s “Chameleon”, but I am assuming it’s also as lacklustre so that it had to be changed into something completely else. And so was “Breathlessly” (my favourite from what I remember of Claudia’s tries was “When It’s Time” tbh). And so kinda was “Coming Home” (only because I still think Richard Edwards wants to go to Eurovision all by himself, no matter the fact he went with a band once). And so was “Warrior” of course. Why is it a Maltese tendency to snub fan faves of the NF? We will never find out.

Hungary: Ho boy. Before their rehearsal my computer underwent an 8 minute lag... only for to their rehearsal not start out the way it was planned. :’) It happened TWO MORE TIMES before one run-through actually working (and another one after that). I thought it was kind of worse than whatever happened in the first rehearsal, maybe it was because of the failorious sound mixing, I dunno. I have heard things about A Dal’s soundsystem being a bit of a failure too, so yeah. I just hope the backtrack won’t end up sounding too quiet or something, I believe it was one of the factors that led to Latvia’s failure to impress last year, together with Agnese’s vocal performance that felt like she’s too scared or too tired to do anything that day. But no really, at some point the chorus sounded like they have had Patrick Stump hidden underneath somewhere, singing in an ‘imaginary’ language (lol I know Hungarian is not imaginary, don’t @ me). Bit too eerie here, the sound system should get its shit together on it.

Latvia: Ohey I mentioned Latvia earlier ago. Your token “stand alone on stage in one place but rely on the camerashots to make it look more powerful or something” song number #428597 or so. So much so she’s used the second most camerashots this year according to my understanding (only Cyprus beats her, and the 3rd one seems to be Hungary!). Mnaaaah I still can’t help but think Latvia’s heading for a last place again. It just seems a song that can be THIS unappealing at first listen. Not to mention, “is she wearing a bed robe?”

Sweden: Nothing too much, except that Benjamin AND his backings sounded a bit too poor during the preview clip while mainly maintaining the same staging as in Melodifestivalen. Lights and everything. Down to the nodding. Should be a failure but as I mentioned earlier to Moldova... (well technically the Swedish song is still catchy and still... Swedish, so of course it’s gonna qualify.)

Montenegro: Seems fine to me, performance is a performance. Maybe the backings were a bit too loud this time though.

Slovenia: Dare I mention that the Xtra team made people miss half of the first run through and the entirety of the second run through to interview Laura Rizzotto on the livestream? Including the time spent on waiting on Laura? Glorious... and sad at the same time as I have sent her so many questions and she didn’t even bother to reply to any single one of them... :( Back to Lea now: thank God the camerashots aren’t too much in this one, otherwise they would be too much for the viewers at home, as much as the moment when the song got ‘halted’ before the 2nd chorus for Lea to ask others to sing the hook for her (according to her it was basically inserted there because she thought that her own song becomes boring midway through. We love a queen of self-shade here).

Ukraine: Same old, same old. I have heard bad things being said ‘bout the camerawork but to be pretty honest, it was good enough imo. ESPECIALLY WHEN there’s a shot dedicated to Melovin’s backing singers

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chamomilehoneytea · 7 years ago

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Kimi ni Todoke Chapter 122 Translation

Hey my fellow Kimi ni Todoke fans!

Sorry for the wait on this translation (though if anyone already looked at the scans from the chapter, you could probably guess a few things haha)! There were some spots that stumped me (well...more than usual), but hopefully this isn’t horribly inaccurate.

Disclaimer time! I study Japanese in my free time, but I’m neither anywhere close to fluent nor a seasoned translator. I do this for fun, to practice translating, and because I want those of you who can’t read or understand Japanese to at least get the gist of what’s happening (especially since official releases and scans are kind of behind at the moment). With this in mind, please be aware that there will definitely be mistakes and the occasional funky, stilted wording; take my translation with a nice big grain of salt. I don’t want anyone to feel lied to when the far more accurate official translations come out, but know that I do try my best and always research when I’m unsure of things. This is just to tide you over until the official releases and scans catch up! :)

I think most of you have heard by now that Chapter 122 is in fact the second to last chapter in Kimi ni Todoke’s serialization. On November 13, the final chapter will be released, and according to the announcement, it will have more pages than usual (including some in color and the cover of Betsuma!). It’s so hard to believe we’re standing at the end of this beautiful story...I’m eager to see how Shiina wraps things up for our favorite characters! :’)

And of course, if you’re financially able to, please consider purchasing this issue of Bessatsu Margaret (November 2017)! If you have any questions about how to get a copy, shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to help! If you’re going to buy the December issue for the final chapter of Kimi ni Todoke, I’d pre-order to make sure you get a copy; I imagine this issue will sell more copies because it contains the conclusion to a long-running and beloved shoujo series.

Here’s the link to my translation of Chapter 121 in case you missed it. I would definitely recommend reading that first if you haven’t, otherwise this chapter might give you whiplash!

Now who’s ready for a sleepover at Kazehaya’s new apartment???

(SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT)

*EDIT: A few readers have let me know that the scans I refer to below have been deleted from Tieba Baidu. At this time I don’t know of any other websites that post KnT raws (if anyone is more savvy than me, please share in the comments :D) - I’m so sorry about this everyone, but I’ll update this post if I’m able to find scans in the future!

Since someone on Tieba Baidu was kind enough to share scans, please follow along with the link in this post. Page numbers on the scans do not match the page numbers in my translation (I didn’t translate the cover: Sawako says, “I don’t want to go home”, which was the end of Chapter 121).

As usual, “This is spoken dialogue” and [This is a thought or narration]. Hopefully it’s easy to follow - I’ve included notes on some pages where I think the line / my translation needs some explanation.

Okay! Let’s stop by the train station!

PAGE 1:

Kazehaya: “…”

Kazehaya: “Kuronu…”

PAGE 2:

Kazehaya: “If you say things like that, I’ll take you back with me.”

PAGE 3:

Kazehaya: “…Hold on!”

PAGE 4:

Kazehaya: “If you board the next one, you can still go home, Kuronuma! Oh – I won’t be able to come back here though. Wait! There’s my parents’ house!”

Kazehaya: “…What I should say is…!!”

Kazehaya: “I don’t know what to do…”

Sawako: “I want to do that…” *

* She’s literally saying she wants to “do that” but that translation sounds like she’s directly saying she wants to do it (lol). There may be a double meaning there, but what she’s really saying is that she wants him to take her back to his apartment for the night.

PAGE 5:

Kazehaya: “…Let’s go back! To my apartment!!”

PAGE 6:

Sawako: “…Yeah!!”

Sawako’s Mom: “Hello, Kuronuma residence.”

Sawako: “Ah…M-Mother?!”

Sawako’s Mom: “Sawako.”

Sawako: “…Well, you see…I won’t be coming home tonight.”

Sawako: “I…didn’t get on the JR.” *

* The JR (Japan Railways) Group operates the majority of intercity rail service in Japan. Sawako is saying she didn’t get on the (JR) train.

PAGE 7:

Sawako’s Mom: “…Not being able to get on the train…that’s not the reason you’re not coming home, is it?”

Sawako: “…yes…”

Sawako’s Mom: “All right, I understand. Be careful on your way home tomorrow, okay?”

Kazehaya: “D-Did it go okay?”

Sawako: “Y…Yeah…”

Sawako’s Dad: “Ah, nice and clean! Oh, has Sawako still not come home?”

Sawako’s Mom: “It sounds like she’ll be staying overnight. She said she was helping a friend move, so they probably had a difficult time saying goodbye.”

PAGE 8:

Sawako’s Dad: “Is that right? If it got late and she wasn’t able to come home, should I go pick her up?!”

Sawako’s Mom: “It’s all right, dear. It’s what Sawako wants.”

Sawako’s Dad: “R-Really…?”

Sawako’s Mom: “Really.”

Sawako’s Dad: “…”

Sawako’s Dad: “Which friend is it? It couldn’t be Kaze…”

Sawako’s Mom: “I don’t know, but Sawako said they’re a friend of hers, so they’re a friend!”

Sawako’s Dad: “Y-You’re right!!”

PAGE 9:

Sawako: [Wow…]

She sees a package of underwear.

Sawako: [Oh!]

Sawako: [I-I have to buy this without Kazehaya seeing!!! It’s embarrassing!!]

Kazehaya: [Seriously???? Do you have to Kuronuma? No, but…Seriously?? No, but…] *

(One of the shoppers wonders if he’s not doing well, and the other wonders if he’s dizzy or lightheaded.)

* This is the best I could come up with, but it’s definitely a terrible translation. Basically, Kazehaya has no chill. This situation is totally overwhelming him (she’s even buying underwear). Lol!

PAGE 10:

Kazehaya: “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Sawako: “Oh, not at all!!”

Kazehaya: “You’re not inside the store! Weren’t you cold?”

Sawako: “Oh, n-no…it’s like…”

Sawako: “…my heart is pounding…”

Kazehaya: “…!!”

Kazehaya: “…W-What did you buy…?”

Sawako: “Oh!! Uh, l-lots of different things!! What did you buy, Kazehaya-kun?!”

Kazehaya: “Uh!! L-Lots of different things…green tea…stuff like that…”

Sawako: “So…you bought lots of different things…”

Sawako: [What should I do?!]

PAGE 11:

Sawako: [I’m so nervous I don’t know what I’m saying anymore!!!]

Sawako: “T-Thank you for having me…”

Kazehaya: “G-Go ahead! Go…ahead – !”

Flashback Sawako: “It looks like Arai-sensei…”

(Pin is laughing and calling him “Botchan” – meaning “young master” or “inexperienced young man” – he calls him “Botchan” a few times throughout the series to mock him.)

Sawako: “Oh! The shisa…that’s right. On a night like this it is a little eerie…!!

Kazehaya: “That’s not it!! You’ve got it all wrong, Kuronuma!!!”

Kazehaya: ��What I mean is, I’ll remember something a little unpleasant!”

Sawako: “Something unpleasant!! I’m sorry!!”

Kazehaya: “No! It’s not the shisa’s fault at all!!”

PAGE 12:

Kazehaya: “Y-You must be tired. Organizing all my stuff…”

Kazehaya: “For now we’ll take a shower, and then we’ll…”

(Kazehaya realizes he’s said something that could be interpreted the wrong way. The line above their heads is a repeat of what he just said.)

Kazehaya: “I don’t mean anything strange by that!!!”

Sawako: “A-Anything strange?!”

Kazehaya: “No! Don’t open much there!!!”

Sawako: “There was one!!”

Kazehaya: “Oh, there was a hairdryer!!”

Kazehaya: “Then use that!!”

Sawako: “Okay!!”

Kazehaya: “Oh, and you don’t have a change of clothes, do you? I’ll take out some suitable ones for you!!”

Sawako: “Actually, I bought panties…Oh, I accidentally said it!! Ignore what you just heard!! Please!!”

Kazehaya: “RIGHT!!!”

PAGE 13:

Sawako: […strange…]

Kazehaya: […Panties…]

Sawako: “T-The shower is free…”

Sawako: “I borrowed…various things…”

PAGE 14:

Kazehaya: “I…I’ll take one too!”

Sawako: “Ah…right!”

Sawako: [We can be together all day today.]*

Kazehaya: [I can’t believe it…]

Sawako: [I don’t have to go home.]

* I’m not really sure who’s talking here. It seems like one of Sawako’s inner monologues, but the page set-up makes it seem like Kazehaya is the one thinking it. Maybe they’re both having the same thoughts? We’ll go with Sawako for now, but just a heads up.

PAGE 15:

Sawako: [I always wanted to do that.]

PAGE 16:

Sawako: “…”

Kazehaya: “…”

Kazehaya: “Kuronuma. I want to touch you a little.”

PAGE 17:

Sawako: “…okay…”

PAGE 18:

(Kazehaya touches Sawako’s face. She suddenly embraces him.)

PAGE 19:

Sawako: “….Kazehaya-kun, I…”

Sawako: “I want to be with you always.”

Sawako: “It isn’t just that I’m getting anxious about being separated. It’s already different. It’s different, but…I don’t want to be apart from you…”

PAGE 20:

Sawako: “I wonder if it’s strange…”

Sawako: “…It is strange…isn’t it…?”

PAGE 21:

Kazehaya: “…”

Kazehaya: “Kuronuma…show me your face.”

Sawako: “I can’t.”

PAGE 22:

Kazehaya: “Okay.”

PAGE 23:

Kazehaya: “…Hold on to me just like that.”

Sawako: “Huh?”

Sawako: “…Oh!”

Sawako: “…I-I’m heavy, Kazehaya-kun!”

Kazehaya: “If I couldn’t at least carry you, what would I do?” *

(Kazehaya places Sawako on the futon.)

* Not sure this is clear – I think he’s saying, “What would I do if I couldn’t carry something [implied: as light as] you, Kuronuma?” As in, he would be pretty weak if he couldn’t carry something as light as she is.

PAGE 24:

(Kazehaya kisses Sawako’s forehead.)

PAGE 25:

Sawako: “…Ah, wow…”

(Kazehaya kisses her.)

Kazehaya: “Ahaha!”

PAGE 26:

Kazehaya: “…You looked at me!”

Sawako: “…”

(She smiles at him with tears in her eyes.)

PAGE 27:

(Kazehaya kisses her as they sink to the futon…)

PAGE 28:

Kazehaya: “There’s no way it’ll be ‘just a little’ after all.” *

* This line has been stumping me for days and this is my best stab at it. I think there’s a much, much better way to phrase this, but I think Kazehaya is saying that unlike earlier when he wanted to touch her a little, in the end, he won’t be able to hold back. Basically, I think he’s saying he wants to take things further…(lol). So bad translation, could be wrong, but hopefully this note helps explain what I got from the Japanese text.

PAGES 29 – 30:

Sawako: [Already the distance between us is not even 1 millimeter.]

PAGE 31:

Flashback Kazehaya: “Sawako. You’re Sawako Kuronuma, right?”

PAGE 32:

Sawako: [I was called by my name, and I became “me”…]

PAGE 33:

Sawako: [Holding hands became natural...]

PAGE 34:

Sawako: [When you held me tightly, I was no longer confused…]

PAGE 35:

Sawako: [When we kissed, I felt a sense of security...]

PAGE 36:

Sawako: […and the time passed quickly.]

PAGE 37:

Sawako: […We…]

PAGE 38:

Sawako: [When we’re anxious or insecure, we’ll be able to tell each other.]

PAGE 39:

Sawako: [If we fight, we’ll be able to call each other “Idiot”.]

PAGE 40:

Sawako: [With the same feelings, we’ll be able to sleep next to each other.]

PAGE 41:

(Sawako and Kazehaya have fallen asleep.)

PAGE 42

Sawako: […We’ll be happy…]

This chapter caused quite a stir on the forum I follow...What did you think? I was kind of surprised Shiina went this route, but it was a pretty interesting development.

Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you again for the final chapter!!

#kimi ni todoke #kimi ni todoke spoilers #knt spoilers #sawako x kazehaya #translation #please share your thoughts!#I really want to know what everyone thinks #haha #thanks for reading!

115 notes · View notes

psi-psina · 7 years ago

Text

The Hounds of Baskerville read-through

Pt three, UMQRA. [pt one] [pt two]

(this is again a direct continuation of pt one & two)

Credit as always to Arianne DeVere for her transcripts :)

This is the final part of this read through that I wrote before intervening events, and I don’t know if/when I’ll be continuing as I’m quite busy now. This is also quite a bit longer than the other two posts bc I just CAN’T shut up about this part, sorry about that lol.

And we’re finally out on the moor! Night falls as they approach the hollow and as they enter the wooded area, John is distracted by some ghostly rustlings and wailings and he spots a tiny light blinking off in the distance. He exhales heavily and whispers after Sherlock, but finds himself suddenly alone. Sherlock never waits for him.

He thinks the light is someone signalling, coded in morse, and writes down what the morse spells out: UMQRA. The light then vanishes and John, stumped, goes after Sherlock and Henry.

Back with Sherlock and Henry, Sherlock needling about Frankland; he says Frankland seems worried about Henry, and Henry says Frankland’s a worrier at best, and that he’s been very kind to him (Henry) since he came back.

So thinking about Frankland as a Moriarty mirror; Frankland acts kindly and concerned towards Henry (Sherlock) but this is only in order to exploit him. Frankland is literally gaslighting Henry and making him doubt his grip on reality, in order to discredit Henry to make sure no one would ever take him seriously if he ever started to remember Frankland’s crime. Perhaps he was even hoping to simply push Henry to suicide. It is a clear foreshadowing of what Moriarty intends to do to Sherlock in The Reichenbach Fall in which he seeks to discredit and destroy Sherlock “inch by inch” in the most public and intimate ways imaginable, in his attempt to solve their “problem”.

This is also, however, the root of Sherlock’s fears about John that are explored in this episode, which is dealing entirely with Fear. This is why Frankland is heavily paralleled with John, and his two mirrors (Dr Mortimer & Dr Stapleton) throughout this episode. Frankland is the same physical type as the other villainous John mirrors (Jeff Hope and Culverton), he has a military past and is also a Dr who works at Baskerville with Dr Stapleton. He’s very worried about Henry just as Lousie is, but where her concerns are genuine, his are dishonest and exploitative. Which we will see very shortly is the exact gist of what Sherlock fears about John, and the nature of their relationship. Frankland as Moriarty is this episode’s embodiment of the fears Sherlock has projected onto John which, when understood make his behaviour throughout this episode extremely transparent.

ANYWAY.

SHERLOCK: But he worked at Baskerville, your dad didn’t have a problem with that? HENRY: Well, mates are mates aren’t they. I mean look at you and John.

Sherlock snaps suspiciously at this, clearly on edge about any insinuations about them.

HENRY: They agreed never to talk about work (Baskerville), Uncle Bob and my dad.

Hm. They agreed to never talk about Baskerville (❤️). And when they did, Henry’s dad ended up…dead. Henry points out the hollow as he and Sherlock arrive at the scene, and we cut back to John. As he’s searching for Sherlock he hears an odd sound, one that appears to be part of the soundtrack but he reacts to it (I could be mistaken but this also happens in The Blind Banker so I have a feeling it’s legit). There’s an odd pulse that is almost like an eerie distorted heartbeat, to which John reacts. And he looks for the source and finds water, dripping from an unknown source onto a drum. He looks a the oddly leaking water with no apparent source and seems curious and rather bemused, until his inspection is cut short by the Hound tearing through the woods behind him. This moment is mirrored a bit later in the episode with Henry (Sherlock) who’s attention is drawn to some carelessly leaking water in his backyard before he too is terrorised by the Hound. I’ll go into the symbolism of water a little later. Back with John, the Hound howls and John starts to run, the water forgotten, and we cut back to Sherlock stumbling down into the hollow as the Hound’s motif escalates. He fixates on huge paw prints in the mud before looking up at the sound of another howl.

On the edge of the hollow we can hear the Hound snarling and rustling and see it’s shadow on the forest floor but -

There’s nothing there.

Sherlock looks like he’s seen a ghost as a frantic Henry lurches up behind him, demanding to know if Sherlock saw it. Sherlock completely ignores him and pushes him aside brusquely, storming off. When they meet back up with John, Sherlock denies having seen anything at all.

HENRY: Look, he must have seen it. I saw it – he must have. He must have. I can’t ... Why? Why? Why would he say that? It-it-it-it it was there. It was. JOHN: Henry, Henry, I need you to sit down, try and relax, please. HENRY: I’m okay, I’m okay. JOHN: Listen, I’m gonna give you something to help you sleep, all right? HENRY: This is good news, John. It’s-it’s-it’s good. I’m not crazy. There is a hound, there ... there is. And Sherlock – he saw it too. No matter what he said, he saw it.

John escorts Henry back to his home and kindly prescribes him some downers to help him calm down after his close encounter. Henry (Sherlock) is having a strange experience however, he seems equally relieved as he is horrified at having actually SEEN the Hound. Because, as horrifying as it’s existence is, a confirmation at least allays his fears about his own sanity. We transition from Henry in the classic Holmes thinking pose as he contemplates and consoles himself, to a highly distressed Sherlock striking his own Holmesian pose by the fire back at the Inn. I love that transition, one of my many favourites. This show has THE MOST emotive transitions, it’s the BEST.

John takes the chair opposite Sherlock at the Inn, and we see them before an empty dinner table set for two, with a heart-shaped wreath of thorns hung right over the flames in between their bodies. This is one of my favourite shots in the whole show;

Like…this image speaks a thousand words. Visual poetry. I mean the entire show is but there are moments like these where they just… completely outdo themselves man. Obviously, a burning heart made of a wreath of thorns is evocative enough in itself, it also looks like another piece of Christian imagery. It brings to mind the Sacred Heart, which is a pretty well known symbol for divine and unconditional love…the cause of Christ’s Sherlock’s immeasurable suffering. :( All of which is…contextually relevant.

^ An accurate image of Sherlock’s heart, tbh.

JOHN: Well, he is in a pretty bad way. He’s manic, totally convinced there’s some mutant super-dog roaming the moors. And there isn’t, though, is there? ’Cause if people knew how to make a mutant super-dog, we’d know. They’d be for sale. I mean, that’s how it works. …Er, listen: er, on the moor I saw someone signalling. Er, Morse – I guess it’s Morse. …Doesn’t seem to make much sense. …Er, U, M, Q, R, A. Does that mean ... anything ... So, okay, what have we got? We know there’s footprints, ’cause Henry found them; so did the tour guide bloke. We all heard something. …Maybe we should just look for whoever’s got a big dog. SHERLOCK: Henry’s right. JOHN: What? SHERLOCK: I saw it too. JOHN: What? SHERLOCK: I saw it too, John. JOHN: Just ... just a minute. You saw what? SHERLOCK: A hound, out there in the Hollow. A gigantic hound.

John smirks. Sherlock blinks back the tears. This scene is absolutely excruciating. What is it with Mark writing these horrible inability-to-communicate scenes in his episodes. I mean I know why but...I hate it.

“Cause if people knew how to make a mutant super-dog, we’d know. They’d be for sale. I mean, that’s how it works.”

Interesting, because even though the Hound is not actually real, the idea of the Hound very much is, and is VERY much for sale. The idea of the Hound is, literally, used as a ‘tourist attraction’, an in-joke that drums up business for the township, irregardless of the fact that it’s driving Henry insane. This is, undoubtedly, a meta comment on cultural gaybaiting, probably also an underhanded reaction in response to the criticism they themselves have received for it. I am not joking. Like in and of itself it’s excruciatingly poignant and incredibly well done purely in the episodes context, but as all their bullshit subtext has amounted to nothing remotely tangible, it remains an underhanded tantrum. >(

Anyway. John goes from disbelief to a weak attempt at pacification which only serves to embitter Sherlock even more towards him.

JOHN: We have to be rational about this.

This scene is an interesting role-reversal. This is, in a way, Sherlock getting a taste of his own medicine from John. This is basically John treating Sherlock the way Sherlock treated him in their argument in The Great Game (one of my favourite scenes EVER), and is absolutely 100% written as a parallel scene, simply with Sherlock the one having an emotional crisis, and John completely misunderstanding what he’s seeing. And even in these role reversals, John is still rather kindly, and Sherlock stiflingly cruel. Anyway, Sherlock is no more able to ‘be rational’ in this situation than John was as they started at each from their chairs in 221B (although again, John behaves, as always, far more rationally than Sherlock does lmao i WILL NOT discredit him there!!). And John can do nothing to appease him because they are communicating across a gulf so wide right now they might as well be speaking different languages.

The way Sherlock admits to having seen it is so sad; it’s like a concession, “Henry’s right, I was wrong. I saw it too. He’s always been right about it.” He’s always feared, deep down, that it was real and what they all say about it is true.

SHERLOCK: Look at me. I’m afraid, John. Afraid. *[1] JOHN: Sherlock? SHERLOCK: Always been able to keep myself distant...divorce myself from...feelings. But look, you see…body’s betraying me. Interesting, yes? Emotions. The grit on the lens, the fly in the ointment.

Sherlock looks at his shaking hands with disdain as he raises a glass of scotch and takes a couple of swigs. “Look at me, I’m afraid.”

What’s got him so wound up to be shaking and forcing back tears in a room full of people? Sure he’s been drugged, but neither Henry nor John react anywhere near this viscerally to the drug or their encounter with their Hounds. This is because John, and probably Henry, are both far better adjusted than Sherlock is lol. All this is has been just below the surface all along, the drug, the Hound, just knocked his defences down.You get a big hint in Scandal, in fact, as to the nature of Sherlock’s fear here.

In that scene in Scandal, we get the first appearance of the musical motif used solely in the aptly titled “Pursued by a Hound” which is exclusive to this episode bar that one moment in Scandal (another thing linking the Hound to Irene and the events of Scandal). In that scene, we see Sherlock drugged against his will by Irene, just as he has been now, in the Hollow. The scene above is the one in which Irene wholly defeats Sherlock, and she does so by drugging him. His defeat by her, the mirror of his desire and sexuality, is not intellectual, it is wholly physical, she imposes her will upon him with a drug. She causes his body to utterly fail him and leaves him entirely at her mercy. Drugged and completely physically vulnerable.

“…Body’s betraying me.”

So you could argue that this betrayal is fear itself, but it simply isn’t. Sherlock is not immune to emotions, he only pretends to be. He’s no stranger to fear. His desires got totally carried away on him, he fell desperately in love with John, and he is quite certain now that he was mistaken to do so. He does not hate emotions in and of themselves, he hates HIS emotions because they are not correct, they are doomed, unrequited, unfulfilled, a source of nothing but pain and suffering for him. He hates his emotions and he is terrified of his weakening body betraying his desires. To John. This fear, this visceral shame that can so easily grow and become basically synonymous with desire inside gay people living in ambient homophobia, is embodied in this episode by this idea of the Hound literally mauling it’s unwilling victims to death. It is embodied by mirrors, when Henry loses control and attacks Lousie in his home. It is embodied in The Reichenbach Fall by every man Sherlock touches being violently killed or committing suicide as a direct result of being touched by him. It is mirrored again by Eurus in The Final Problem, when she talks about raping one of her guards.

He’s on a(nother) downward spiral. Mind’s tearing itself to pieces, body’s betraying him. He feels like a monster.

”The grit on the lens, the fly in the ointment.” But John can’t see it, and he has absolutely no chance of making any sense of it because he would never think in a million years that Sherlock is behaving like this because of him. He could never know that Sherlock’s cold disdain for emotions is an expression of the pain his own cause him, of the fear that John get a glimpse (or a faceful) of what Sherlock feels for him, even though John does suspect his friend is not alright. Like, this is certainly one of John’s uglier moments, he certainly could have handled this with more tact, and once you’re able to read Sherlock it’s so easy to fault John in this scene because once you’re in Sherlock’s head, John can appear to be a truly insensitive, oblivious dick. Which he sort of is, but you just can’t. You can’t truly fault John for being cynical and guarded at this stage, Sherlock has cut him dead and hurt him too much for John to be anything but lost when they’re in these situations now. This cynicism does grow into something uglier down the line, in Culverton, and I feel like this scene is where the seeds of that monster are first sown in Sherlock, which then properly bloom at the end of The Sign of Three.. :/

Jesus. Like I’m not joking, if I was a damaged robotic gay person having a nervous breakdown in front of my best friend with whom I was desperately in love only to have them inadvertently make a mockery of my self-hatred and inability to express myself I definitely would not be able to handle this any better. (I mean personally I would just start crying and run away).

John, getting more and more uncomfortable, tries to get Sherlock to rationalise, saying “You’ve been pretty wired lately, you know you have. I think you’ve just gone out there, and got yourself a bit worked up.” Like you would to a child. Even with that slight smile. This sounds infuriatingly patronising to Sherlock, and Sherlock gets defensive, then angry, and inevitably lashes out the best way he can; with his deductions.

“There is nothing wrong with me, do you understand!? You want me to prove it yes?” **[2]

So he launches into an incredibly scathing and specific deduction about the widow and the fisherman sitting across the room from them: very blatant mirrors for Sherlock (the widow) and John (the fisherman). (They even have matching hearts hanging above them! Although the one hanging over the fisherman is made of rusty old tin or something, make of that what you will.)

SHERLOCK: We’re looking for a dog, yes, a great big dog, that’s your brilliant theory. Cherchez le chien. Good, excellent, yes, where shall we start? How about them? The sentimental widow and her son, the unemployed fisherman. The answer’s yes. JOHN: Yes? SHERLOCK: She’s got a West Highland terrier called Whisky. Not exactly what we’re looking for. JOHN: Sherlock, for God’s sake ...

The widow (Sherlock) has a little Hound, of course…a West Highland Terrier. Like Bluebell, it’s not exactly a horrible monster. I mean. I mean look at this. Look at this monstrous Hound.

I just…I am going to scream and physically die, I’M IN TOO DEEP.

SHERLOCK: Look at the jumper he’s wearing. Hardly worn. Clearly he’s uncomfortable in it. Maybe it’s because of the material; more likely the hideous pattern, suggesting it’s a present, probably Christmas. So he wants into his mother’s good books. Why? Almost certainly money. He’s treating her to a meal but his own portion is small. That means he wants to impress her, but he’s trying to economise on his own food. JOHN: Well, maybe he’s just not hungry. SHERLOCK: No, small plate. Starter. He’s practically licked it clean. She’s nearly finished her pavlova. If she’d treated him, he’d have had as much as he wanted. He’s hungry all right, and not well off – you can tell that by the state of his cuffs and shoes.

So, this is what’s going on in Sherlock’s heart right now. :/ The fisherman (John) is treating the widow (Sherlock) to a meal, and indulging her by wearing a jumper he clearly doesn’t like because it was a gift from her, but not because he just loves her and cares about her or wants to spoil her or just spend time with her or make her happy, but because he wants to impress her and get into her ‘good books’. Why? Almost certainly money. His actions aren’t sincere but manipulative and made purely in self-interest (RE, Frankland) and he gives himself away by ‘economising’ on his own food, in spite of being ‘hungry’. John suggests he just might not be hungry but Sherlock is adamant; he’s (John) definitely hungry and not well off, and remains certain that he’s only interested in exploiting her. Those earlier awkward moments between them about money? They hint at this well of resentment. Sherlock’s the wealthy, sentimental widow and John’s the scarred, threadbare, unemployed tradesman.

Left alone with his heartbreak and insecurity, it seems this is what Sherlock thinks about John in his ugliest moments, and now the ‘drug’ lets his fears run wild. It’s eating away at him. I don’t think for a second he truly believes this of John as a person, this is another product of his own self-loathing more than anything and it is WILDLY unfair to John. It seems this is the conclusion he draws about them when trying to figure out why John chooses to continue living and working with him, despite the fact that it causes so many problems in other area’s of John’s life, particularly romantically. He would never think for a second that John stays with him because he’s like, the love of his LIFE, because he doesn’t think that’s possible anymore. :/ All of the above is the reason Sherlock is such an asshole to John in this episode. He’s so insecure he’s convinced himself that he means nothing to John beyond the social/financial perks their partnership provides him. It certainly doesn’t make it okay, it just makes him very transparent, and…sad.

The stuff about the Christmas jumper is something because

I mean, if this possibly implies that Sherlock actually gave John that jumper for Christmas I would just…Die. That seems like a rather…unSherlock thing to do so personally I don’t think it was lol. I always thought that jumper was probably from Jeanette or Mrs Hudson before I thought about this deduction, so…I don’t know really.

SHERLOCK: Now, he was a fisherman. Scarring pattern on his hands, very distinctive – fish hooks. They’re all quite old now, which suggests he’s been unemployed for some time. Not much industry in this part of the world, so he’s turned to his widowed mother for help. “Widowed?” Yes, obviously. She’s got a man’s wedding ring on a chain around her neck – clearly her late husband’s and too big for her finger. She’s well-dressed but her jewellery’s cheap. She could afford better, but she’s kept it – it’s sentimental. Now, the dog ... tiny little hairs all over the leg from where it gets a little bit too friendly, but no hairs above the knees, suggesting it’s a small dog, probably a terrier. In fact it is – a West Highland terrier called Whisky. “How the hell do you know that, Sherlock?” ’Cause she was on the same train as us and I heard her calling its name and that’s not cheating, that’s listening, I use my senses, John, unlike some people, so you see, I am fine, in fact I’ve never been better, so just Leave. Me. Alone.

Where it get’s a little bit too friendly. ...I mentioned he hates himself right.

Anyway. John sits quietly and endures this tirade like all the others, looking more and more hurt as it goes on and Sherlock starts to mock him on top of everything else. When it’s over, he just sadly says “Yeah, okay. Okay. Why would you listen to me? I’m just your friend.” Looking close to tears himself now and Sherlock twists the knife one more time; “I don’t have friends.” he says viciously and John just

😞

Honestly, the rejection Sherlock feels is mostly self-imposed, which is why his character arc thus far has culminated in him finding self-love, but John…god the rejection John has endured from Sherlock over the course of their relationship is just beyond. Sherlock is just so casually cruel to him so often. Like now. John tries to remind Sherlock that he is in fact his friend, and Sherlock essentially tells him “You are not my friend.” John does the only thing he really can, bitterly says “Naah. Wonder why.” And walks away.

John storms out of the inn to get some air, breathing heavily, trying to calm down, and then spots that light again. Signalling him off in the distance.

We get this sequence.

John sees the distant light and goes after it immediately and we transition to Henry (Sherlock) curled up rather pathetically on his sofa, a blanket draped over his face. He sits, looking pained and tired, then stands and walks to the window. As he reaches it, Liberty In (Death) crashes through his skull and he rubs his temples, holding his head in his hands and breathing deeply.

Liberty in death.

As this is happening to Sherlock/Henry we transition back to John as he hurries toward the source of the light. And what is it? What’s sending this garbled signal John can see off in the distance? It’s sex. Specifically it’s a sexual activity known as Dogging in Britain. Wow 😩

Like, if you were not convinced that Dogs are connected to and referencing sexuality in this episode, this really ought to put that matter to rest. I can’t imagine the agony it must have caused Mark Gatiss to figure out how to work this euphemism into the mystery in this episode in a meaningful way lmao. There’s nothing else to say.

Anyway, John, realising that the light that his curiosity thought to be a meaningful signal is just a product of some voyeuristic pervs bonking, believes he’s made a mistake, turns and heads back toward the inn, kicking himself. As he retreats, with the light flashing eerily over his shoulder as though it’s trying to call him back, his phone pings with a text from Sherlock, asking him to interview Louise Mortimer. John texts him back in all caps, Ajsdhfn I love him. And Sherlock just sends through a photo of Louise for him. 😩 I swear to god, Sherlock could not be any saltier right now if he were a literal puddle of brine. John halts momentarily as he looks at Louise and he mumbles, “Ohh you’re a bad man” and in my opinion he’s talking about…both of them. 😩 Useless jerks.

As John walks off, we transition back to Henry (Sherlock).

The simplest way to look at the following sequence is pure dream logic. It is almost certainly an actual nightmare that Sherlock/Henry is having, as all Henry says the next morning is that he ‘didn’t sleep well’ and not, y’know, that there was something lurking around his yard last night that was setting off the floodlights and scaring the living daylights out of him and would Sherlock mind taking a look. No, it isn’t real. The sole purpose of these scenes at Henry’s house is to show you what is going on inside the iron box. Emotional context, with Henry simply being Sherlock’s avatar so as not to give the whole game away.

Henry (Sherlock) is sitting listlessly and being plagued by Hounds on the television. No matter which channel he tries the Hound is everywhere. Then the floodlights flick on, drenching his yard in harsh white light. We see a hose on the patio leaking water everywhere, and as the lights fade out, the silhouette of the Hound tears across the screen. This moment is the dead ringer of John’s earlier encounter with water in the woods. The attention on this eerily leaking water (Henry’s resigned and heedless as he just lets his hose leak everywhere rather than do anything about it, John’s curious and benign as he’s drawn by this mysterious dripping of unknown origins [kind of in the same way he was drawn by the mysterious light]), which is promptly shattered by the appearance of the Hound. Interestingly, the second time we see the hose, after the Hound tears through the yard and the floodlights flash for a second time, the water has stopped.

We all know the symbolism attributed to water in literature and dreams, it’s all relative to emotions and energy:

“In most dreams water indicates emotions, moods and flow of feeling energy. Because of the nature of water it lends itself to depicting aspects of how you relate to your feelings. For instance you can ‘drown’ in or feel swept away by some emotions. At other times you can feel cleansed and refreshed. But because water is vital to your existence it can show how you long for or thirst for something, and feeling fulfilled.” [x]

Everyone’s picked up on how heavily and literally this symbolism is used in Sherlock (particularly drowning), especially in Series 4, but the focus in this episode is on leaking, and leaking water carries it’s own particular meaning:

A leaky hose faucet represents issues that weaken your ability to control yourself. Loss, disappointments, or frustrations may be distracting you.

To dream of a something springing a leak, or taking on water represents loss, disappointments, or frustrations that may be distracting you. Issues that were repressed or kept at bay may coming to the forefront. You may also feel that you are wasting your time or energy. It may also reflect an uncertain situation that is getting out of control.

Small problems that may have the potential to get out of control if you don't deal with them immediately. The potential for a problem to spiral out of control or become destructive if left unattended. Possibly a warning dream about procrastinating or ignoring problems. [x]

Leaking water in dreams represents a leaking of emotions or loss of power. Dreaming of a leak that you can't stop might symbolise an emotional situation in waking life that seems to be out of control. Passively watching a leak without taking action to repair it might be an indication that you are in a reflective stage and are not quite sure whether you want to repair the leak or just let it go. [x]

Leaking water: This can mean that your emotional energy is be used unwisely, possible through such things as anxiety or fear, especially if the water is coming through a ceiling or wall. [x]

So we have…

Loss of self-control - check.

Fear - check.

Disappointment, frustration, anxiety - check.

A(n emotional) problem spiralling out of control and becoming something destructive while left unattended - check.

So, I hope these flashing floodlights are bringing to mind another light we’ve just seen flashing in this episode.

This is what is happening inside Sherlock’s heart right now. Or just watch the full sequence tbh.

The Hound is all over the television, it’s in his home, it’s in his backyard, it’s in his reflection, it’s in his heart. It won’t leave him alone and he can’t get away from it. But all that escapes the iron box is

UMQRA. That bright blaze just a tiny light, glimpsed off in the distance, blinking in nonsense morse. An utter inability to communicate what is in one’s heart. “Every time I close my eyes…I’m lost…lost in the sky and…no one can hear me.” This is what just played out between them at the inn. And John is worried, because he picks up on the signals, he does notice, and he wants it to mean something, he wants it to be a code because that’d mean he might have a chance, however small, at cracking it, but it’s Sherlock’s own actions and endless rejections that make him doubt and dismiss his own perceptions and he will never be able to act on his instincts as long as Sherlock locks him out and refuses to open his heart.

We then transition from Henry, sunk onto the floor weeping, to John and Louise at the pub on a sort-of date, horror transitioning to mirth as she cradles her head in laughter at something John said, uttering “That’s so mean...”, as Henry (Sherlock), gun in hand, cradles his head in despair on his living room floor. Another one of my favourite transitions.

JOHN: Um, more wine, Doctor? MORTIMER: Are you trying to get me drunk, Doctor?

Doctor to Doctor. John chats with Louise and ply’s her with wine as he tries to get a rapport going, changing tack and asking about Henry’s father when she stays firm on her refusal to talk about Henry.

JOHN: Okay, what about his father? He wasn’t one of your patients. Wasn’t he some sort of conspiracy nutter - theorist? MORTIMER: You’re only a nutter if you’re wrong. JOHN: Mmm. And was he wrong? MORTIMER: I should think so!

Of course, like every other Conspiracy Theorist on the show (Sherlock, The Geek Interpreter boys, Anderson & Co, etc), Henry and his father are in fact right about everything. John then makes an appeal to Louise’s concern for Henry,

JOHN: But he got fixated on Baskerville, didn’t he? With what they were doing in there ... Couldn’t Henry have gone the same way, started imagining a hound? MORTIMER: Why d’you think I’m going to talk about this?! JOHN: Because I think you’re worried about him, and because I’m a doctor too…and because I have another friend who might be having the same problem.

John probably genuinely wants to talk to someone about this because he is worried about Sherlock and he has no one to talk to about anything, ever. :/ And just as they may have gotten somewhere, Frankland interrupts and sends it all to hell. Keeping in mind the connection between Frankland/John/Jaqui in this episode, it’s obvious Frankland is acting as John’s demon here. A vexing presence that pops up just in time to prevent John from gaining any insight into Henry’s/Sherlock’s state of mind, AND an annoying cockblock. In keeping with the theme, Frankland fucks with John by insinuating that Sherlock and John are Gay while making sure Louise gets that John’s only there to get information out of her.

FRANKLAND: Didn’t you know? Don’t you read the blog? Sherlock Holmes! Private detective! This is his PA! JOHN: PA? FRANKLAND: Well, live-in PA. JOHN: Perfect.

Wow it’s almost like, every PA we see on this show is a) a mirror for John and b) romantically involved with their Sherlock-I mean, employer. Commander. Except for Janine, who is a PA who is just involved with Sherlock himself. 😩

Frankland mutters to John about Stapleton conspiratorially and finally leaves. John looks back to Louise and makes an appropriately sheepish gesture. As she leaves, Louise snarkily suggests John buy Frankland a drink instead of her, then walks away. Awkward. John sighs, foiled again, as always.

The following morning Sherlock is back on the rocky outcrop alone, contemplating his Problem. We transition to Henry’s house, as he wearily approaches the door to Sherlock’s banging. Sherlock bursts in more manic than ever.

SHERLOCK: Morning! Oh, how are you feeling? HENRY: I’m ... I didn’t sleep very well. SHERLOCK: That’s a shame! Shall I make you some coffee? Oh look, you’ve got damp!

It’s like the shittier he feels the more manic he gets. And of course, they also have “damp”, from all that leaking going on. :/ He promptly storms into Henry’s kitchen and goes straight for his sugar, stealing a couple of sachets and then dramatically making out like he’s putting coffee on. Henry wanders in and tries to ask him what his deal was last night and Sherlock abruptly slams the canister down and cuts him off and tells us what’s REALLY on his mind. Hound; this absurd term for an ordinary love…..i mean . .. . .dog. He then abruptly storms off having got what he came for, leaving his exhausted Henry behind. As he’s walking back through the village he comes across John sitting alone in the cemetery, framed by 3 huge crosses:

So the morning after, Sherlock gazes at John through a field of crosses and they are so prominent in the frame it literally looks like they’re warding Sherlock off. Like a warning. Or reminder: John is off limits, remember that, b*tch. John, meanwhile, has situated himself amongst the dead, sending a pretty clear message about his current state of mind. He looks quite different from the day before as well. He’s gone from the striking (passionate!) combo of deep red and black, to this frigid khaki scenario that basically camouflages him.

An impressive change in mood.

Sherlock approaches him, chewing on his mouth like he’s about to swallow his own tongue, and with no preamble, awkwardly asks John if he got anywhere with Sherlock’s..I mean, that “morse code” from last night. John curtly says no and starts walking away.

SHERLOCK: U, M, Q, R, A, wasn’t it? UMQRA. U.M.Q... JOHN: Look, forget it. It’s ... I thought I was on to something. I wasn’t. SHERLOCK: Sure? JOHN: Yeah.

Thought I was on to something…I wasn’t. :(

YOU WERRREEEEEEEEEEE!!! HE’S EVERYTHING YOU WANT HIM TO BEEEE JOOOHHHNNNN!!! 😫

Sherlock tries to ‘break the ice’ by joking with John about his ‘progress’ with Louise Mortimer, basically confirming that his sending John to her the previous night was some bullshit self-hating gesture that seems simultaneously spiteful (towards himself), conciliatory (towards John) and deeply ashamed. I mean can you imagine. Actively alienating yourself from the person you’re obsessed with by nudging him towards a woman bc you hate yourself and feel guilty and disgusting for lusting after him because you think he’s straight but you know he’s a bit easy so you maybe feel like it’s a good thing to do by him as a MATE which is what you SHOULD be, but it’s actually just sad and makes you even MORE bitter and self-loathing because it’s pathetic, while it ALSO continues to push him away from you (the whole point BUT STILL) and give him the COMPLETELY wrong idea about your motives and feelings and just alienates him from you even more! Like there is literally No way in which Sherlock has not fucked things up with John! He’s doing his best but he is useless! UGH. Anyway, John isn’t having it, saying funny doesn’t suit him (NOT TRUE) so he should just stick to ice. Mr. ice-man. 😩 HE’S NOT!

Sherlock then gets serious, grabbing John by the arm and explaining that what happened to him last night was more than just fear, it was something he hadn’t really experienced before: Doubt. He felt he couldn’t trust his own senses. John says he (Sherlock) can’t actually believe that he saw a monster, and Sherlock says no, but he DID see it, so that leaves the question of how that could be. So this is a lame attempt at justification and also Sherlock spinning it trying to downplay the meltdown he had the night before while using his usual tactics when he’s trying to get John back on board with him after he’s fucked up: dangling the mystery and the danger and the intrigue in front of him, hoping John’ll bite and all will be forgotten. On the subtextual level, this is the emotional conundrum; Sherlock’s a rational person, he doesn’t (want to) believe the ‘monster’ is real and yet something has caused his own mind to turn against him to allow those fears and doubts about himself (the Hound), and about John, out of their carefully manicured iron box where he can no longer ignore them and pretend he’s above them. Sherlock thinks it’s the ‘sugar’ that has ‘drugged’ him and caused his senses to fail him. He’s an idiot.

The fact that he specifies doubt here I find interesting, specifically doubt with regards to his own senses, as this is another thing that rears it’s ugly head again in The Lying Detective: In which his own ‘memories’ are thrown into turmoil and he has a crisis of Faith (in John), then loses Faith (John) completely, when forced to assume Faith (John) was only ever a figment of his lonely, overactive and drug-addled imagination. He’s forced to accept his senses have betrayed him, as a direct consequence of his ‘addiction’. Here, he holds the ‘sugar’ he likes to have responsible for his close encounter with the Hound. He is wrong on both counts, a little sweetness never harmed no one (actually that’s a lie, Sherlock’s poisoned sweetness is about to hurt John a LOT) and Faith WAS always real.

So anyway, because Sherlock’s a fuck up and can’t deal with John being upset with him, John is just like hmm yes good, got something to go on with then have you, have fun with that and walks away again. Although I think at this point it’s already pretty obvious that John is struggling to stay angry with him (and is just as [if not more] angry with himself), irregardless of how hurt he is. Everyone’s made a lot of this moment and the way John’s eyes keep dropping to Sherlock’s neck as if he’s just so mesmerised by it (which, y’know, fair enough) but that was never what struck me about this scene lmao. John’s upset with Sherlock and here Sherlock is again getting right up in his personal space, putting his face mere INCHES from John’s and making intense eye contact with him. Sustained eye contact with someone at that proximity is VERY intimate and, I always felt like John’s wandering eyes here were more an attempt to break eye contact with Sherlock because it’s too uncomfortable. And, he’s upset with him! Sherlock shouldn’t keep getting away with this crap! He can’t afford to be gazing right into Sherlock’s big blue eyes like this! Dammit!!

Sherlock like...reel him in reel him in. Boy.... :/

As John is walking away Sherlock finally makes an effort at one of his awkward sort-of apologies, saying that he meant what he said last night, that he doesn’t have friends, in the plural, because John is his only friend, gazing at John like a PUPPY. :( It certainly does the trick;

Sherlock must see that tiny smile and nod. John clearly accepts this as Sherlock’s version of an apology, but isn’t quite ready to let him have it just yet, and abruptly turns away from him again, but with that out of the way Sherlock is on John’s heels immediately now showering him with praises because John’s just given him another brain orgasm.

John, you are amazing! You are fantastic! You stimulate me like no other! He literally calls John a conductor of light which is STILL one of the most excruciating things to ever come out of his trash mouth, but as always he tempers his earnestness with glib nonsense, causing John to prompt him to maybe not start ruining his apology QUITE yet (alas, he’s only getting started 😞). John asks what he’s done that’s so bloody stimulating (if only you knew…) and Sherlock turns around and holds up his moleskin, the word HOUND jumps off the page across Sherlock himself, as we look at him from John’s POV;

Beware the Hound, John!

Sherlock looks positively devilish doesn’t he. Why did they ever stop using Paul McGuigan??? A GOD DAMN mystery. This is an obvious marker, just like the moment in The Blind Banker in which Sherlock is marked as the Deadman; so he is marked here, as the Hound. This shot, like the one at the inn the previous day, is from John’s POV because in both instances it is marking Sherlock as John’s “Hound”. John is not tormented by the Hound that torments Sherlock/Henry, because, among other things, John is not gay. John is tormented by Sherlock. Sherlock is the thing that Hounds John. It is also, without a doubt, hinting at the monstrous thing Sherlock is about to do to him. HOUND!

Sherlock speculates that perhaps Hound is actually an acronym, when he turns and spots Lestrade inside the Inn and dramatically swans over to interrogate his presence. He looks put out as John warmly greets Lestrade as Greg, and continues to petulantly demand an explanation.

Sherlock deduces Mycroft must have sent his Handler (conscience, better part, keeper; whatever you wanna call him :P) to look after him “incognito” at the mention of Baskerville, and asks if that’s why he’s calling himself Greg, which John helpfully points out is actually his name. His own better part, his GOOD man, and he’s such a cock he doesn’t even know his NAME! (But John Does!!!) The homoeroticism latent in calling Lestrade Sherlock’s handler is already enough but like look at them...

Like, I am sorry but this is sexual tension aljkald. Greg indignantly says he doesn’t just do whatever Mycroft tells him, rather giving away the fact that he probably does just that. 😩 Then John chips in and halts their squabbling, bringing forth the invoice for all the meat apparently being gobbled by the owners of this strictly vegetarian! establishment. And off they go to shake down Billy and Gary and get to the bottom of this Hound business.

*[1] Another parallel in The Lying Detective that doesn’t really need any elaboration, they’re just parallels that add more context:

I’m afraid, John. Can’t do it, not now. .....Not alone.

Like...they’re begging you to actually LOOK AT HIM. SEE what’s right there in front you!

**[2] And another:

Aaaand of course...

tagging again @sarahthecoat, @devoursjohnlock, @inevitably-johnlocked, @impossibleleaf, @tjlcisthenewsexy, @gosherlocked, @221bloodnun, @northstargrassmaiden, @poisonousindigo (u get tagged in this one bc i remember u asking me about umqra which is what really set off this whole thing lmao), @love-in-mind-palace

hope ya’ll’s enjoy :) I sure did!!

#tjlc #sherlock #bbc sherlock #johnlock #sherlock meta #my meta

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yoosungshoodie · 7 years ago

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Please do V, Eisuke and Nobunaga because I wanna know more about why you like your boys!! ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

I did V already but Rina you’re killing me dkjsdfs aLL MY BIASES. This is gonna be long so Eisuke’s is under the cut.

Oda Nobunaga

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: He's cunning and calculating and he knows what he's doing. I really enjoy the fact that he's a born leader because it's so obvious in everything he does—but that also doesn't mean he's incapable of being soft, too. He's got this leadership quality to him that's absolutely enchanting and I adore it so much. He’s got his eye on taking the world and he’s so passionate about it that you believe it. You believe in his dream of ending poverty and stopping wars because he’s such a captivating person to listen to, even if you already know that there’s no such thing as a world without suffering. Slight spoilers, but if you’ve read his act two you get that enchantment pulled out from under you because the whole narrative in Nobu’s route had been driven towards making you believe that he could do it. You believed he could achieve unification because that’s what the story told you and how he was so excellent in all his endeavors, yet that ends abruptly into the grim reality which is that he can’t fix suffering when it’s universal. I love characters who are able to enchant their audience, and he definitely did that for me.

worst quality: Extremely abrasive. Even if it's an act sometimes, he's stubborn to go with it as well so it's even worse. There’s a lot of times he steps on other people without meaning to, solely because he’s just so damn stubborn. He's got a hard time understanding himself from his proud bravado because he blatantly ignores his own feelings a lot of the time, resorting to anger easily instead. A poor communicator and is troublesome love interest because he doesn’t know how to treat a relationship.

ship them with: MC, because I really like his MC. She steps the hell up and doesn’t always let Nobu gets his way; it could’ve been so easy to make MC this unmoving cookie cutout of predictable and easygoing girl meets powerful man and lets him decide everything. My favorite is when she becomes an official wife and blossoms. Oh, also... Hideyoshi or Toshiie dsjgjksdf.

brotp them with: Mitsuhide if he learns how to STOP BEING A DICK TO HIM, and honestly? I find it super funny with Hide and Toshiie.

needs to stay away from: Sweets. Sorry, honey.

misc. thoughts: My first route so I’m a sucker for him. I love him so much LOL, he had red hair and was a total brat who needs attention. Cocky and can back it up, too. My SLBP bias even though he switches with Kojuro sometimes... he’s always going to have a special place in my heart. I’m into people who can lead and can boil situations down to statistics and facts, solely because I’m one of those people too, and he’s very good at that. Definitely the prettiest boy in SLBP for me LOL. I think a lot of his draw comes with being this scary warlord who’s a bit of everything, despite being called the demon king: he’s funny and can dance like a woman and there’s so many parts of him that we get to see. He’s so multifaceted with such big dreams that you can kind of buy into when he says to “never look at things from the same place as mere mortals do”. He seems so much more because everything he does seems so grandiose, and he isn’t wrong when act 2′s modern day epilogue occurs. Iconic man.

Eisuke Ichinomiya

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: His ability to always end out on top. He gets stumped at times but that's not a problem because he can always find a way to be on top of things. He knows how to maximize efficiency and he’s very good at being pragmatic and logical, even if that costs him some emotional growth, and he’s almost genius level brilliant with the way he can figure out things, IMO. Eisuke is also one of those extremely captivating characters for me that seem larger than life. He has a very strong work ethic and although KBTBB doesn’t delve into it, you always see Eisuke working. Whenever MC sees him, he’s working and you know he’s serious about his job. From right off the bat, we know Eisuke’s success had nothing to do with luck and it’s something he’s fought for tirelessly. I really, really, really appreciate those kinds of characters. Fulfills the magnificent bastard trope.

worst quality: His poor relationship with MC at the beginning. I think I couldn’t tell how extreme his character development was, playing his season chronologically, until I went back to season one for something I missed reading. Eisuke gets better so the damage is alleviated a bit, but he lacks fundamental rules of relationships; he’s very used to being used and using people, so it’s not much of a shocker that he doesn’t know how to treat someone that genuinely loves him. He’s demanding at first when they finally get together, adhering to that whole “five minute” rule and shutting her out instead of trusting her and not treating her as an equal. He’s so emotionally damaged in regards to love because he’s never experienced it (literally, with a tombstone for a mother and runaway coward for a father), that when he’s even put in Akira’s care it’s too late to reverse the damage. His biological parents had no consideration for his emotional well being so he learned to disregard it as well, which becomes a big road block for him and MC. He can’t open up to her until season 2, and just begins treating MC as someone who should call the shots too in season 3. Parents are people who serve as their children’s foundation of love and what it means to love someone, but Eisuke never had that, thus his inability to have a proper relationship (despite being in love; feelings and actions are two very different things) until later on.

ship them with: MC, even if I didn’t like their dynamic at first. She helps him grow and teaches him a thing or fourteen about how to love and she learns to call him out on his shit. She’s a bit of a pushover sometimes, but Eisuke is a scary person to stand up to, so I can see where she comes from. Thank god she grows out of it, though. Also, give me that Eisuke/Luke or Eisuke/Soryu.

brotp them with: LUKE AND SORYU!!!! I love the three of them so much.

needs to stay away from: Hotel room service. And being a dramatic ass bitch.

misc. thoughts: I heavily relate to his emotional constipation and inability to properly be in a relationship. He can’t properly express his feelings and a lot of times him and MC have sex because he has a hard time putting his feelings in words, and I love how that was addressed when it’s MC that tells him flat out that he can’t always just have sex to fix their issues.

I find his beliefs are extremely agreeable because they’re the truth; even if KBTBB sugarcoats the world to fit a romantic narrative (and I understand that they have to!), Eisuke would be seen as a perfect fit for this world. People are genuinely like that.

It’s interesting how he knows how to present himself and knows what cards he needs to play to get what he wants, along with the moves he needs to make; he’s that perfect magnificent bastard trope that I mentioned above. I live for those types, they’re my favorite kinds of people because they’re the ones pulling the strings, and Eisuke definitely does that. Also, cuteness proximity with animals even though they hate him. What a good man.

#r shitposts #oda nobunaga #eisuke ichinomiya #kissed by the baddest bidder #samurai love ballad party #azoteux

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mstreason · 7 years ago

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Actual queer danish fairytale

So I should be doing my two papers that are due next week (which I haven’t started lol), but instead I am going to tell everyone a danish fairytale that I heard i Denmark on my studytrip, which I haven’t found an online, much less a translated version of. It was just one of a kind and contains queer people with a happy ending, and was collected in the 1800s by Knud Rasmussen, so I really wanted to share it. Keep in mind that I’m doing this from memory, and that this is the kind of fairytale in the “cutting off my heal to fit the shoe”-style, not the Disney version.

Once upon a time there was a prosperous kingdom with a happy King, Queen, and little princess. One day the queen became very sick, and after wasting away for a long time, she died. The King grieved, but took comfort in his beloved daughter. Many of his advisors wanted the king to remarry.

“The girl needs a mother,” they said. The king refused.

“No woman will ever be as wonderful as my late wife.”

And no matter how much they asked, the king was not to be budged.

The little princess was sad that her mother was gone, but she was young, and found ways to feel better. Often she would go into the late queens bedroom, which was kept exactly as it had been before she died. There she did what many girls (and some boys, as the narrator noted to us in the audience) do, and dressed up in her mothers clothes and jewelery. Never did she feel so pretty as in those moments.

One day, when she had turned fifteen and started to feel she should stop doing this, she went into the bedroom again. On the wall hung a large painting of the queen, and the princess found the exact dress and jewelery worn in the painting. After dressing in the finest silk and gemstones she looked in the mirror. There it felt as though her mother was staring back, for the girl had grown so much that she filled out the dress and looked exactly like the late queen.

In that moment the king walked by the open door, and stared in. He was struck by the sight of his daughter.

“You,” he said, “are the one I shall marry.”

The princess whirled around, surprise turning into confusion.

“But,” she said, “you can’t marry your daughter.”

“I’m the king. I can do what I want.”

His daughter pleaded with him. His advisors tried to reason with him. The court expressed their outrage. But the king would not be moved. The wedding was to be at the end of the month.

The princess despared, but she knew there was nothing she could do to convince her father. So she waited until the night before the wedding, behaving normally, and gathering up some food, some clothes, and a sharp hunting knife which she packed up quickly when night fell. Then she was off.

She knew that she had to hurry, because when she was discovered to be missing she was sure her father would send the hunting dogs after her. And sure enough, after only a few hours she started hearing barking in the distance. She ran, her feet slapping into the forest ground. But she wasn’t quick enough. The only way to stall the dogs would be to throw them some meat, and she hadn’t brought any.

As the yapping and snarling grew closer she could only see one possibilty. She grabbed her knife in a tight grip and cut off her breast, throwing it over her shoulder. Some of the barking ceased, but there were still some on her trail, so she gritted her teeth through the pain, and cut off her other breast, throwing it over her shoulder.

The noise became more and more distant, and with that head start she struggled through the forest, finally reaching the neighbouring kingdom.

Tired from the run, and sick from the wounds, she collapsed on the forest floor. There she was found by a woodsman who took her back to his cabin and treated her with his knowledge of the herbs and salves he got from the forest. The refugee got better as time went on and expressed her gratitude to the woodsman.

“You have saved my life,” she said, “but I have nothing to give you.”

“Stay here and learn my craft. Do as I say and we shall find a soultion.”

And so she stayed, learning the way of the forest, and becoming an adept hunter. After a while the woodsman told her there was nothing left to teach her, and that she was to dress up in her hunting clothes and go up to the castle to seek employment.

“But remember,” he said. “If you ever need help, think of me, and I will be there.”

The young hunter did so, and in trousers, a shirt hanging flat down her chest, and hair cut short for her work, she got a job as a hunter.

The court quickly came to like this young hunter who could catch any pey and who had a handsome face and goodnatured smile. One of those who admired the hunter was the princess, the king’s only child.

“Father,” she said. “I believe that if there is anyone I can marry, it is the hunter. And if I cannot have him, I shall never have anyone.”

“Well,” said the king, who loved his child very much. “If that is how you feel, then that is how it shall be,” and approached the young hunter.

The hunter was surprised, but not displeased, for the princess was very kind and pretty, and many were infatuated with her. Several wanted to marry her, including an old duke.

And so the grandest wedding in generations was held between the princess and the hunter. And while the duke was unhappy, evryone else agreed they were a fine pair.

Then came the weddign night. The princess undressed quickly, eager to be i bed, but the hunter hesitated.

“My dear, there is something i need to tell you.”

“What is it?” the princess said curiously.

“I love you very much, but I am afraid I am not a man. I am woman, a princess from the neighbouring country.” And so the hunter told the new wife the whole story.

After hearing her new spouse speak the princess contemplated the words. “Well,” she said, “how about we just keep this a secret from everyone else, and enjoy being married?”

And the newlywed had a happy wedding night.

Meanwhile, during the wedding, the unhappy duke had fumed. He was the one who was suposed to marry the princess, and become the next king! Who did this hunter think he was! He snuck to the bedroom where the couple was supposed to consumate their marriage, and listened at the door, hearing everything the hunter told. The duke smiled and started plotting his revenge.

The next day, all of the court stood outside the door, ready to wake the new couple, as you do.

When they went in, they saw the happy couple snuggled into each other asleep. “It’s amazing isn’t it,” the duke whispered to the king. “how well they look together. Especially considering none of them are men.”

The king was shocked, but he kept his cool through the morning. What was he to do? How could he find out the truth? Then he got an idea.

A command was issued throughout the castle, that every man or boy residing there was to take a bath together in the local water. Attendance was mandatory.

The hunter was horrified when hearing this, but had no choice but to comply.

Oh woodsman! thought the hunter. I need help. How shall I ever get out of this?

As the rest of the court undressed quickly to be done with it, the hunter hesitated and did everything slowly. Just as some crucial clothing was about to come off, a grat stag with grand horns burst out of the woods, taking flight.

“Someone catch me that animal!” the king shouted.

“Yes Sire!” the hunter eagerly exclaimed, and grabbed the bow to chase after the horned animal.

(I’m studying literature. If I were doing an analysis, this is the point where the text is saying get it? Geeet it?)

Into the forest they went, and just as the stag disappeared into the foilage, the woodsman stepped out.

“Oh thank God!” the hunter said. “That was a close one.”

The woodsman nodded to the hunter. “You won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

Just as the woodsman finished speaking, the hunter felt... different. He felt at where his trousers met, and his eyes widened.

“How can I ever repay you?” he asked. The woodsman gazed back somberly.

“You shall give me your firstborn, and all shall be forgotten.”

The hunter went back, and though he couldn’t quite contain his happiness, there was also a somber note to his mood. He explained the situation to his wife when he came home. (Her exact reaction isn’t told in the tale. I like to think she shared the feelings of her husband.)

So when the belly of the princess grew, there was a sadness to the young couple that most new parents don’t have. After the birth, the new father rode into the forest, his son clutched to his chest. He met the woodsman at the edge, where he was chopping wood.

“Lay your son here, on the tree stump,” the woodsman instructed.

The hunter did as he said. The woodsman lifted the axe, and cleaved it down over one half of the baby’s torso. There was no sound from the child.

“Does it hurt?” said the woodsman.

“Yes!” said the hunter, anguished.

“This is how much it hurt me when the king asked to marry you.”

The axe was brought down a second time, severing the little body.

“Does it hurt?”

“YES!”

“This is how much it hurt me when you had to cut off your chest and throw it to the dogs!”

The hunter broke into tears, and the woodsman gathered up the remains in a sack, and gave it to the hunter.

“Go back to your wife, and open the sack when you come home.”

The hunter managed to take the sack, and rode with a heavy heart back.

His wife met him in the coutyard, and together they opened the sack, Out came the head of the most beautiful smiling boy. There was no trace of a scar on him, and there was nothing more to fear in their marriage.

And if they haven’t died, they are still living happily ever after.

#fairy tale #Knud Rasmussen #The princess who became a man #trans #queer stories

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heyjayyay · 7 years ago

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Polaris Con (6/2/2017-6/4/2017)

Polaris Con was ridiculous (in every sense and connotation of the word.) Alright. Here we go. For my sanity and memory sake… Europe (Part 2)

6/2/17 (Friday)

Prepped at Freya’s while she was at work, then headed to the train station for Frankfurt with my wine and cigarettes for Eliza. Check in was a hot damn mess. I had the Trikru VIP pass and our check in was supposed to be 2 pm to 3pm. Each pass was only supposed to take an hour to do check in. Psh. That didn’t happen. I was also supposed to have a meet and greet with Eliza at 7:45 and when I came back to the venue at 7, people were still trying to pick up their check in material. Ridiculous! At least I was able to pick up my signed fanart from a girl named Caro who helped me get Lindsey and Nadia’s autographs.

And then I was waiting in line with Ari, a girl I met who I ended up hanging out with for the majority of the weekend along with her friends, for Eliza’s meet and greet and Tasya walked in with Chad and she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him inside. She just strolled so casually by us and said “hey” that I barely even had time to react. It was the first time I’d ever met/seen her and she was overwhelmingly tall. (Then again, I’m also really super short, so who knows.) So all I could do was wave.

Finally, after much delay from both the con, and probably Eliza (lol!), we were brought downstairs to the meet and greet room where we waited for Eliza to show up. There was only like 7 of us or something so it was really intimate. And when she walked in and recognized me and Ari and she was like “OMG you made it!” And then introduced her friend, Eric, before coming to sit with us and started to facilitate the conversation. At first no one was speaking and she was like “Well, we have half an hour sooo….”

So I asked her if she wanted show questions or non-show questions. And she said “Whatever you want to talk about. Otherwise I’m just gonna fill the time by just rambling…” And it was really funny. So I asked her if she were a Sailor Moon character, what would her animal sidekick be and what would she name it. And then we talked about how she always gets Sailor Moon stuff and whenever she answers something in a Q&A or public forum, she ends up getting 3849283 gifts related to it. So just in case, I’m not going to post what her answer was. Otherwise she’ll get like 10000 copies. But I can say, it was really freaking adorable and I helped her pick out the name.

We also talked about the body positive campaign that she’s been working on. I remember her telling us about her ideas for it last year. It sounds like it’s taking a lot longer than anticipated.

And then we discussed her travel plans. She originally was scheduled to fly back to LA the Monday right after the con, but extended her stay so she could go see “my Nadia.” She was so adorable when she was talking about how they talk every day and how Nadia is one of her best friends.

We also discussed her fight scene with Anya and joked that it was all method acting because of the grossness and that she and Dichen actually beat each other for real. (They didn’t really! Don’t take it out of context.)

Then we talked about the emotional scenes she had with Bob this season and how they felt really connected but not in a Bellarke way. And then she playfully rolled her eyes because she hates shipping and then we all laughed. (She later reiterated how much she dislikes shipping/doesn’t ship at the panel on Saturday)

Then Eliza told us about the helmets they used for the last few episodes and how claustrophobic it was for her to be in them. Not only could you not breathe, but you couldn’t hear anyone you were acting with, so you just kind of had to lip read. In the end, they had to modify her mask so that it would pop out so she could breathe. Since she was doing a lot of climbing for the finale and running, the oxygen tube that originally was supposed to pump air into her costume kept falling out and she was getting anxiety and panicking from it. (Sidenote: Not cool! Isn’t there some sort of OSHA law that goes against?)

And then I asked her what her favorite scene in Pirate Island is and she laughed and we talked about how much fun it was for her to be a little girl and getting taken out of school and paid just to play pretend. Her favorite scene was when she got captured (she thinks it was episode 7) and her character just sasses the pirates and kept saying “You don’t scare me.” And then I joked and said you could turn it into a drinking game and take a shot every time her plant talked. And then she looked at me in surprise and asked “Wait, did you watch it?” And then I cracked up and said “Yes” and she burst into hysterics and we just kept laughing about it. I don’t think anyone else knew what we were laughing about because they all just looked at us like they either hadn’t scene it, or had no idea what we were talking about for the last 3 minutes. But it was still hilarious!

Then when the meet and greet ended we took a picture and she started giving people hugs. (Sidenote, look at her cute little knee pop! Little diva bean!)

I waited until she was done to give her the wine bottle and told her it was my way of repaying her for the hotel. And she was so grateful and said “you didn’t have to do that” and put it in her purse. I told her I was just in Paris and got it from France, so I hoped she liked it. And then I reached into the side pocket of my bag and pulled out a pack of Marlboros and slyly handed them to her. She grabbed them and clutched them to her heart while looking 1000 types of relieved and thankful before she exclaimed “Oh my god! I just ran out. Thank you!!” Then one girl was like “Wow you must know her really well.” And I just smiled at Eliza and asked “You like golds, right?” And she confirmed that she did and pocketed them.

Then we walked out together and the whole time during the meet and greet, I kept looking at her collar because it was flipped up and it was driving me nuts, so I figured, whatever, we’re cool. So I reached out and was like “Eliza, I love you, but this has been driving me nuts all night so I’m gonna fix your collar.” And she was like “No yeah, please do!” and was really chill about it. But then every time I fixed it, it would pop back up. And she was like “Yeah, it gets flippy. Whatever. We can just say it’s fashion. It’s chic.”

And then we left so she could get ready for the party, which was really just like 30 people drinking and crowding the guests (Eliza, Chad, and Tasya) Eliza got pretty overwhelmed and I felt kind of bad so I just kept drinking and told Eliza we should start a dance circle, but she said she has no rhythm and needed to be drunk to dance. (Lol, bullshit.) And I talked to Eric and he’s actually from NJ, which is super close to me and he was actually in Paris the same time I was. Small world! And he was amazed that I kept chugging drinks. Lol!

After the party, we took a picture and then we promptly kicked out of the venue. The party was supposed to be 8:00 to 9:00pm, but they didn’t start until almost 8:45 and then kicked us out at 9:15pm. Lameeee.

Anyway, as I was leaving, Tasya, Chad, and Eliza were all outside. Eliza was smoking, not sure about the others. But we made eye contact and waved at each other and then she started blowing kisses in my direction and I almost missed Freya because of it. But then my drunk self was so excited to see Freya that I wrapped my arms around her and started giving her kisses on the cheek before we went back to her place. I have no idea what Eliza thought of all of that. But oh well! I haven’t seen my friend in two years. Cut me some slack!

6/3/17 (Saturday)

Okay, so Saturday was the epitome of the word “ridiculous.” First of all, check in was only supposed to be an hour that morning. They were still checking people in three hours later. On top of that, the entire thing started 2 hours late and the chauffeur they arranged never picked up Tasya or Chad so they had to take a taxi to the venue. May I remind you, neither of them speak German! Jfc!

When they finally did start the 1st panel, Eliza and Tasya came out and EJ and I waved at each other while she made her way on stage. After they got settled with their mics they were both really confused and were like “Wait, this isn’t being moderated? Okay then.” Good job, Polaris. [Insert epic facepalm here.]

The questions were alright. Rarely were there ones that I hadn’t already heard before. So I decided I would go up and ask something different. I asked “If you had to pick a tattoo for each other, what would it be?” That stumped them for a while but eventually Tasya said she’d get Eliza something in Thai script and Eliza (with the help of the fans) said she’d get Tasya a nutella tattoo.

And then I told Ari to ask “If you were a Pokémon, which one would you be?” and that was just hilarious because neither of them knew anything about Pokemon. Eliza said “Uhh, I mean, I know Pokemon… the yellow guy.” And then they argued over who could be the yellow one (Pikachu.) Then Ari said Eliza should be Jolteon but I was thinking more Jigglypuff because she’s cute but sassy and sings. And Eliza and Tasya were like….???? And then we said “Jigglypuff’s really cute. It’s like a little round ball.” And Eliza laughed and said “I could be a little round ball.”

There were a lot of other questions in between but I don’t really remember many. Tbh, they were ones she’d been asked before mostly anyway. But when someone asked what Harry Potter house she’d be, I shouted that she’d be a Hufflepuff. And when she was asked her favorite Trigedasleng word, I knew it was “penis” right away, and shouted it, and she just laughed.

Tasya’s panel was next. She is so incredibly upbeat and nothing like Echo. It was pretty nice to see. She was really kind with her fans and soooooo good at remembering their names. I was really impressed. She greeted almost all of the people who asked questions by their first name, without prompting.

Then we had Eliza’s meet and greet and this time there were so many more people, so Ari, Stef, and I decided to sit on the floor instead of the chairs. We talked about her/Stef’s love for whales and sea creatures. I commented that she was dressed like a whaleshark because she had a navy and white polka dot top on and she beamed and agreed “I am! I never thought about that.” And then she ran her fingers fondly over her shirt and it was too precious.

Someone asked her about Tribeca and Thumper and she asked if anyone had seen it. Aside from Eric and I, no one had. So I chimed in and told her that she killed it and she was so blushy and bashful when she said “thank you.” I love how humble she is about her work!

We talked about Lucy and how her relationship with her mom is different from Clarke/Abby. Her mom is protective too, but EJ and her mom’s bond is completely different. She’s said countless times how much she adores and admires her mom. She’s her rock. :)

We had a brief discussion about her bucket list, travel, and then a ridiculously extensive discussion about Netflix shows, Sense 8, and her new film, “Christmas inheritance.” She wasn’t allowed to share much about it, but it’s a rom-com, which is something she never got to do before so she liked being the quirky/comedic character for once. She said it was a nice contrast from the roles she’s played before.

After the meet and greet I went to take my picture with Eliza. She greeted me with a hug and said “hello, love” And then didn’t really let go, so our picture ended up being a hug picture. Lol, not that I’m complaining. She gives good hugs. :)

After that, I had a photos with Tasya. And during her photos, she was so hot that she changed into one of Tati’s shirts and was laughing about it later on because it’s totally not her style. (Nonetheless, I think she pulled it off.)

Then Tasya had her meet and greet. We talked about behind the scenes stuff and how almost every CW show shoots in Vancouver so when they have to film at the same time, they’re constantly looking down the street at the various sets to see if anyone is around. And there’s also a video somewhere of the whole ice nation singing “ice, ice, nation” instead of “ice, ice, baby. She just doesn’t know who has it. I congratulated her on her season 5 success and asked her what her tattoo said. We talked about Coachella and how Lindsey is the type to make people “keep in contact” and she is the reason she, Chelsea, and Zach all went to Coachella. Other than that, I don’t really remember much about it. It just passed by so quickly.

And there was also a picture with Chad. I don’t watch Arrow or the Flash, but I got a pic and auto from him for free with my pass, so I figured, why not? And this is what our photo ended up being. He said he was excited to see how it turned out. (I ended up getting it signed later)

And finally, Tati. Before I went up, no one was doing poses with her, so I decided I’d switch it up and make it fun for her. She is such a ball of energy, that one. Sooooo sweet! And she was so excited to do this:

Then I had my signing with Tasya. I gave her a drawing of Echo and she was so grateful. She actually stood up and pulled me in for the longest hug and squeezed so tightly and rubbed my back. Like, normally, I try not to hold on very long for hugs unless you’re a really close friend or something, but I don’t do it for celebs because I don’t want to make them feel awkward, but Tasya just didn’t stop. Like, I let go wayyy before she did. It was endearing! And then she thanked me for the drawing and then I showed her the drawing I wanted her to sign and she wistfully commented “Now you’re making me want to draw.” And I told her “feel free.” And so she drew two teardrops on my fanart of Echo “because she kills people.” Lol!

Next I moved on to my auto with Eliza and gave her four digital drawings I did and she had the same reaction as last time. “Oh my god, you did these?” And I said “Yes! Like last time.” And she was like “You’re so…” and was at a loss for words. Then she went and flipped through them before signing two more fanart drawings for me.

Then I told her I had something to show her and started lifting my shirt, but not before disclaiming “Don’t worry, I’m not going to flash you.” And she laughed. Then I revealed my tattoo that I had asked her for her permission to get back in NY at Tribeca. And she was really impressed and said “Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d really do it!” And I said “Of course! I told you I would!” And she leaned forward, examining it and said, “I’m actually really happy with it. It looks good. I have really nice handwriting.” And nodded with approval. It was too cute! So then as I was leaving I said “Thank you, love.” and she immediately shot back “Thank you babe.”

Next I had Tati’s autographs and when I showed her the art for her to keep, she was so excited! This was her first con, so everything was just new and fascinating for her. It was really sweet to watch her eyes sparkle like that. She was just in awe of everything. Then I showed her the drawing I wanted her to sign and she remembered from Instagram.

Then we had a group photo with all of guests. I originally wanted to do a pose, but they put them in chairs and were making people sit. So while I was waiting in line, Eliza was on the end, and we made eye contact and I smiled at her and cooed “Hi, baby!” And she said “hi” back and got all bashful again and blushed and ducked her head. It was so freaking cute! (Sidenote, Ari said every time I said “baby” that weekend, I’d have to take a shot. Lol, totally worth it.)

Anyway, when it was my turn to take my picture, I asked if we could do a cuddling picture and Chad was like “Cuddling with four girls? Heck yes!” Lol!

Then we had dinner with Eliza and when she came out with Eric, I was the first one to notice, so I jokingly started cheering for her and acted really sassy while saying “Yass girl! Werk! Strut, strut, strut!” and Eliza played along and swung her hips and strut along with my chanting all the way over to the table. After she sat down, she chatted with the table for a little until it was time for food.

So this is where things got interesting and the con pissed Eliza off when they served the guests (plus Eric) but said the rest of us had to get our food ourselves. EJ wasn’t having it and launched into waitress mode, grabbing our plates and balancing them on her arms. (One of the con staff members tried to get her to sit down, but Eliza refused.) She also said she spoke firmly with them about starting on time for Sunday because she doesn’t like when her fans get anxious because if they get anxious, she gets anxious. Eliza is a god damn blessing.

We talked travel again and then about horoscopes. One lady asked Eliza what her star sign was and Eliza was told her “Guess. I know some people at the table already know.” And she looked at Ari and I. And then I was being a brat and started going “ssss…” to give her a hint. And Eliza was like “someone is trying to give it away.” And so I laughed and said it was “obviously the one that starts with a Q.” And Eliza said “Yeah, the Q.” And I played off of it and said “You know, it starts with the silent Q!” Lol trolls!

When we finally started eating, I was starving and it was super late because the whole con got delayed. So I was in the middle of picking at the noodles on my plate and telling Lana “I could be eating shit, but I don’t even care.” But the lady who was in charge of the con was walking by just as I said “I could be eating shit…” And I just stopped talking and Eliza burst out laughing. I was slightly mortified and pretended to crawl under the table. But Eliza just told me “Oh stop, you’re fine!” And then she added, “It’s red pesto, by the way.” And pointed to the sauce with her fork. Lmfao. She’s such a little snarky chef.

Then we talked about what alcohols have what effect on her and how Polaris told EJ that the rest of people who cancel had to leave for work when she asked why all her friends were “dropping like flies.”

We also talked about her techniques for filming. She focuses on three things - Where did I come from? How am I feeling? Where am I going? - when she goes through the script. And I commented that it actually sounds really philosophical, even though it’s a literal meaning for her.

Then we talked about predictions for season 5 and Eliza said “it would be so funny if season five was just… aliens. Can you imagine if aliens were in the ship? Like ET and Clarke becoming best friends? Someone should draw it.” And then she leaned across the table to look expectantly at me and laughed.

Next we talked about Koh Tao Primary School, Jo, and Cancer Gets Lost. I told her she could take the drawings I gave her today and sign them for a CGL auction to help out with Isla or just Koh Tao in general and she pouted and said “But I wanna keep one of them!” And I was ready to melt! Then I told her “they’re yours, you can do whatever you want with them. But you don’t have to keep them.” And then she thanked me again.

The last thing I remember talking about was publishing options for her mom’s children’s books. I told her about Publishizer as a crowdfunding platform specifically for authors and she said she’d tell her mom. I’m not sure if she did. But hey, whatever works :)

Then dinner ended, Freya took me home, and we ate German chocolate while looking for places to get schnitzel and other authentic foods before I started working on Eliza’s drawing request.

6/4/17 (Sunday)

Eliza came out for her panel and I’m pretty sure everyone died a little. She looked AH-MAY-ZING!

I went to take my picture with Eliza and asked her to do a prom pose. At first she was confused and was like “I don’t know what that is…? I never went to prom.” Lol, so I explained she just had to wrap her arms around me and this was the outcome. (Also, looking at her from that close is like an out of body experience. Her eyes, man… so amazing. Honestly, it makes me hate having brown eyes even more.)

After that, I went to watch Tati’s panel. She came out in an orange jumpsuit and was talking about how Gaia is a killing machine and the whole thing was so ironic. We also got her to rap the fresh prince theme song. Lorry, if you’re reading thing, shoutout for actually saying it out loud! Also, I need that video, stat!

Then we went to take more photos. I asked Eliza is if she could koala me and she was so confused and asked “What’s that?” So then I demonstrated on Sara and she was like “Oh! I’m from Australia I should know that.” Lol! But then she said “I can’t koala you. You’re so small! You should koala me!” And I was like “Are you sure? I don’t want to…” And she just cut me off and nodded. So we did the pose. And then Sara and her friend also wanted to have Eliza koala them. And while they were transitioning between all of the pictures, Eliza looked at me and said “You started a trend. #Koalakru is really winning.” And then gave me a double thumbs up while laughing.

Finally it was time for her last meet and greet of the weekend. She came out with her rum and coke and disclaimed “It’s that time. I’ve reached that point.” And then decided she wanted to sit on the floor. She literally said “At some point at every con, I just end up on the floor.” Lol! Such a dork! <3 And so I pretended to lay on my stomach with my chin in my hands/elbows propped and then she swiveled onto her side and and one elbow bent and her knee bent in that sexy “paint me like one of your French girls” pose and we just started laughing. Then we both sat up and the meet and greet started.

She talked about how to make a proper old fashioned and had a rather extensive conversation about Scotch. Little bartender. I fucking love it.

I asked her what annoying song always gets stuck in her head that she wants to get stuck in our heads. And I thought it was hilarious, but everyone else groaned. And then Eliza beamed and said “The Vengabus. You’re. Welcome.” And she was so smug about it. It was hilarious! We just kept laughing while everyone else looked annoyed. Sorry not sorry!

I asked if she could star in the next Disney live actions, who would she wnat to play (knowing it would be Ariel.) And she said, of course, The Little Mermaid, but then she frowned and said “But they’re already doing that.” But then I pointed out, that was Dreamworks, not Disney. So she still had a chance. And then she got really excited, but noted that she wouldn’t want to wear the shell bra all the time. She’d be a conservative mermaid. Haha!

We talked about the show a little. Someone asked how she prepped for kissing scenes. And she said she just does the read through and goes “blerhsoioiruoiuerh” and sticks her tongue out during all the rehearsals. The only time she really kisses her castmate is when they actually film it.

Then she told us about her childhood and growing up in Melbourne in a sort of gritty part of town. She said Syndey is like the LA of Australia, while Melbourne is like the New York of Australia. She said she grew up with hookers and stuff around her house and 4 yr old Eliza just skipped around befriending them while her mom brought them tea. And in return, they would protect her apartment from thugs.

For her final panel, I asked Eliza if she had to write an autobiography, what would she title it. Her response was “uhhhh…… I’ll have to think about that.”

Then I told Ari to ask her what extinct animal she would bring back. And she had to think about that one too. I told Ari to say dinosaurs into the mic. And Ari said “You can pick dinosaurs, too.” And Eliza was like “I’m aware they’re extinct, thank you” all sassy-like and I died. Then I said “triceratops” but Eliza said “tasmanian devils.” But then a girl in the audience (Ashley) shouted that they weren’t actually extinct yet. And then EJ and Ashley fought it out. Ha!

Someone asked Eliza what she would name her fans and I shouted “Koalakru!” And she laughed and said she did like koalakru.

Near the end of the panel, she had Tati come join her and they were just adorable together. She came out on stage and gave each other the tightest little hug and Tati was so enraptured by Eliza answering questions. You could tell that she has a lot of respect for her and really looks up to her as a woman, actress, and philanthropist. (As do we all, right?) And when the panel ended, they skipped off stage together and Eliza almost forgot her phone, but Tati scurried back to get it for her, and then they exited together.

Finally, it was time for my autograph. I got Eliza to sign our prom pose and she pointed to it and said “This turned out so cute!” And then while she was signing, I asked if I could get sentimental with her for a second. And she was still signing so she just shrugged and said “You never do that.” But then she looked up and realized I was acutally being serious and then she finished up and let me tell her about the tattoo and the progress I’ve made. She got upset on my behalf over some of the things I had to go through at work and her exact words were “That’s completely bullshit.” And was really sweet about it. And then I told her about my book and the stuff I’ve been working to overcome and I thanked her for the strength and she shook her head and said “No way, that was all you, babe.” And then I just had to hug her. And she kinda hushed me when she felt me shaking and was like “No, don’t cry. Hey! Don’t cry! You don’t cry.” Because it’s true, I’ve never cried in front of her.

So then I pulled away and collected myself quickly and replied “I know. I won’t. Here… comedic relief.” And then pulled out the drawing I did of ET and Clarke hugging and Eliza threw her head back and cracked up so hard. Then she clutched it to her chest and was like “I can’t believe you really did it! I love it so much!” And then she looked at it again and started laughing. Then she thanked me and we said goodbye.

As I was leaving and saying goodbyes to my friends, I overheard her talking to Ari, who had asked her to draw something along with her auto, and I heard Eliza say, “Okay, but I can’t draw like Jess.” I. DIED.

And then everything ended and I left the con after that, skipping the closing so that Freya could take me to dinner and show me around Frankfurt before I had to leave for my 8am flight the next morning.

#frankfurt #blog #thoughts #polaris con #eliza taylor #is bae #i wrote a novel #omg

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