#finally got some work done. key word is SOME. guess its better than none tho right?

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

night

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Whenever you can, can you write some Andrew bad mental health days angst with Nicky trying to help single-handedly? Maybe while the twins were living with him? With a hopeful ending of course. More importantly I wanted to ask if you’re alright? Your last post was worrying.

So I’m doing a lot better now. It’s just that sometimes I feel like my parents treat loving me like it’s a chore and neither of them really want to do it. They also just remind me all the time about how hard it is to love me and implying that my theoretical future husband would leave me over these flaws. I made the mistake once of implying that maybe I should have a wife instead and my mother looked ready to murder me. Which u literally see me project in almost exact words in this piece. Sorry. Anyway.. that’s how my efforts at coming out are going :)) It’s fine tho. I’m going to college in a year which is its own headache. 

Thanks again for your concern and your patience. I hope this is what you were looking for <3

A bone-deep sense of exhaustion had been weighing Nicky down for so long that he almost didn’t notice it anymore. Almost. Dragging himself into the backroom of Eden’s, he felt another wave of it crash over him. 

“Nick,” Roland called. His eyes were wide and his legs were trembling. His lips were swollen and bruised too. A smile curled the edges of Nicky’s lips. Before he could prod Roland about his disheveled appearance, Roland said four words that always sent every thought careening out the window. “Something’s wrong with Drew.”  Shoving him aside, Nicky raced down the hall. From the end of the corridor, he heard labored breathing. 

“Andrew,” he called as he nudged the door open. Nicky felt his stomach plummet at the sight of his cousin curled on the floor. Tears were welling in his eyes. “Hey, man,” he started. 

“Get. Out!” The words tore from Andrew’s throat, low and guttural. Fury was written into every crevice of his face. Nicky stumbled backward, falling onto his butt. The door slammed shut in his face. Crawling up to the door, Nicky lay his head up against it. From behind it, he heard Andrew’s breath coming in ragged gasps. “No. No. Please, no.” Nicky’s heart stuttered. When he’d first met Andrew, he’d made the mistake of saying please. He’d been rewarded with a none too gentle warning about using that word in Andrew’s presence. For Andrew to be saying it now…

“Andrew, let me in,” he begged. 

“No!” Andrew screamed. “Leave me alone.” Tears raced down Nicky’s face. His fingers ached for they’d been clutching tightly to the doorframe. 

“Let me help,” he whispered. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. A week ago, Nicky had been summoned by the school to pick Andrew up early after a similar episode. According to Aaron, it had happened a few times when they’d lived with Tilda too. However, they’d been occurring more frequently since the twins had moved in. Was it something Nicky had done? Had he hurt Andrew? 

Nicky didn’t know how long he sat there, begging softly for Andrew to let him in before the door finally creaked open. Andrew stepped out, dry-eyed. His blank facade had resettled over his face but his eyes were red and puffy. 

“Water,” he croaked. Nicky scrambled to his feet and checked a few of the back rooms until he found some bottled water. Offering it to his cousin, he chewed on the inside of his cheek as Andrew down the whole thing in one go. 

“Andrew,” he pleaded once more. 

“Home,” Andrew ordered. Nicky’s shouldered sagged but he obeyed. Shuffling down the hall, he did his best not to look back at Andrew. He gathered up his jacket from the front before grabbing Aaron. As they walked to the car, Nicky felt a cool breeze blow past. From the corner of his eye, he caught Andrew shivering. Shedding his coat, he waited for Andrew to pass him before throwing it around his shoulders. “I don’t need your shitty jacket,” Andrew snarled. 

“Whoops. Guess you're so small I mistook you for a coat rack.” 

“You’ve got three seconds to start running, Hemmick.” Nicky was running before the words were out of Andrew’s mouth. It was less than three seconds before Nicky heard Andrew’s footsteps pounding the asphalt behind him. 

“That’s cheating,” he cried. “Doesn’t matter, though. My legs are longer anyway.” 

“They won’t be after I break them,” Andrew gasped between breaths. Nicky should have known better than to rile Andrew up. While Nicky was the faster of the two, Andrew had incredible endurance. He didn’t have to outrun Nicky. He just had to wait for Nicky to run out of steam. Hooking a left, Nicky headed for the park. Vaulting over the chain-link barrier, Nicky risked a glance back. Andrew had banked to the right and was now running around the perimeter of the barrier. 

Looking back was a mistake. Nicky tripped over the playground border that. Falling face-first into the mulch, he felt several pieces of it embed themselves into his flesh. 

“Not so fast now, fucker,” Andrew said. For the first time, Nicky saw a smile tug at the edges of Andrew’s smile. It was a sharp, cruel thing but a smile nonetheless. As Andrew’s eyes roved over Nicky’s face, he saw the smile slip away. “You idiot,” he muttered as he grabbed Nicky’s sleeve. Too dumbfounded by the fact that Andrew was touching him, Nicky didn’t protest to being dragged across the park. He still couldn’t find his voice as Andrew shoved him onto a swing and rolled up the sleeves of the coat. 

A first aid kit appeared in Andrew’s hands. Producing a pair of tweezers and antiseptic, Andrew set about picking the mulch from Nicky’s face. All the while, Nicky whined about how much it hurt. It didn’t hurt. He just needed something to fill the silence. Plastering a bandaid over the final cut, Andrew stepped back to inspect his work. 

“I thought you didn’t need my shitty coat,” Nicky said. Andrew looked down as though he were just noticing what he was wearing. With a scowl he shucked it off and threw it in Nicky’s face. Andrew sat down on the swing beside Nicky. For the first time in a while, his legs were long enough to touch the ground. “Hey,” Nicky started. Andrew groaned as though the conversation was already too long. “I know you don’t want to talk but I need to know what I can do to make this easier for you.” 

Silence settled over the pair of them. Just as Nicky was about to give up Andrew answered. “I just need space.” 

“I’ve given you all the space I’ve got. I gave you a room. I gave you the keys to the car. I let you come and go as you please. I know you didn’t ask me to come here. You didn’t ask me to stay but I’m always going to be here. No one else really wants me anyway.” A sad smile settled over Nicky’s face. It was true.

Every person has their own love language. Nicky’s was touch. Growing up, Nicky’s parents hadn’t understood that. No, they’d chosen not to. Loving their child was their duty as parents, nothing more. Luther and Maria treated loving Nicky like a chore, never failing to point out how his every flaw would prohibit him from finding a respectable wife. Well, then maybe he didn’t need a wife. Maybe he needed a husband. 

Telling his parents as much resulted in them pulling away entirely. Any semblance of love that they’d shown him was now gone. Where Maria woke early to make Nicky’s favorite breakfast, he’d begun coming downstairs to a table set for two. Where Luther brought home little things that he’d thought Nicky may have enjoyed, Nicky watched as his father actively shifted his gift-giving to Maria. It knocked Nicky’s self-confidence to a low he’d never thought possible. Suicide was something Nicky had never understood. Why would anyone want to die? Well, what point was there in living if you had no one to live for? 

For as long as Nicky could remember he’d spent his life trying to please his parents. The most he’d ever gotten was a five-second hug for winning a national art contest. Shut out by the only people that had ever meant anything to him, Nicky had spiraled into depression. If it hadn’t been for Dr. Krauss’s push to send him to Germany, Nicky might not be alive today. 

In Germany, Nicky had found love. Not just in Erik but Erik’s family loved him. Erik’s friends loved him. They breathe life back into Nicky and offered him a place to stay. And he’d wanted it. Going back to America, Nicky had been okay with facing his parents’ disappointment because he’d known that it didn’t matter. Soon he’d leave Columbia and he’d never look back. Everything was finally going to be okay. And then, Nicky’s world turned itself on its head. Learning about the twins had brought all of Nicky’s plans to a grinding halt. 

Nicky knew what living with Luther was like. There was no way he was going to force Aaron and Andrew to brave all of that alone. Germany meant so much to Nicky because he’d been greeted with open arms. The Klose's didn’t love one single aspect of Nicky. They loved him as a whole and Nicky hadn’t had to fight for an ounce of their affection. 

The twins were broken and battered and bruised, just as Nicky had been. Luther and Maria weren’t going to welcome them into their home with open arms. Nicky doubted anyone would. There wasn’t anything that Nicky had learned from his father that he’d truly taken to heart, save one: there’s always someone that needs saving. Sure, Luther had meant converting people to Christianity but, from the moment Nicky lay his eyes upon the twins, he knew that no one in the world needed saving more than them. 

Nicky didn’t know how to fix them (or even if they could be fixed at all) but he’d take care of them until he found someone that could. He didn’t know how long it would take for them to each find their own Germany, but he was more than willing to stick around until they did. 

“I do,” Andrew said. Nicky looked up to find Andrew’s eyes already on him. 

“You what?” Nicky’s voice broke halfway. 

“I want you to stay.”

[helplessly-nonstop]

Depression (B. Wyatt series)

Hey, it’s Cassie and I actually have a series for you this time! Description, would you be a doll and tel our lovely readers what they’ve stumbled upon!

Honey Bee, or the reader, is a poem blogger and they meet a depressed Abigail Wyatt. As time passes by, they grow closer. But an abusive relationship separates the two and on Honey Bee’s visit to Florida, they realize that it’s too little too late. It will be a three part series: Depression, Impression, and Succesion. Please enjoy and don’t repost to other sites. Because I will find you and I will end you. Cool? Cool. My beta was my favorite soulmate: @sporadic-fics! (Go read her stuff, I love it all)

WC:2454 (the next two parts will ((more than likely)) be longer)

Warnings: depictions of an abusive relationship, mentions of murder, thoughts of suicide, Klandy Borton is a garbage human, character death, mentions of child abuse, anyway, here we go! (GIF was found on Google)

I was a social butterfly on all counts and one person had confided in me when I had posted a poem about suicide on my blog. Her name was Abigail Wyatt and she admitted that she wasn’t having the best life that she could be living. She and her two brothers lost their parents when they were young and unfortunately was pushed into the foster system.

Years had passed and there was multiple families that neglected and abused them, until finally, the oldest brother turned eighteen and they were taken from foster care under his watch. I took her under my wing, even though we had never met in person, but from there, we traded war stories. I explained where I got my inspiration to write and she told me all about her brothers: Bo and Bray.

Bo was apparently very outgoing and she confided in me that she believed that he was gay, which made me giggle a little. When she asked me why I laughed, I informed her that in sets of three siblings, there’s usually at least one that is a member of the LGBTQ+ community. She laughed with me for a while then continued telling me about her family.

Bray was the quietest of the three, with an aura of danger surrounding him, and she stated that she was often worried about what he might do if he had to protect his siblings from serious harm. I assured her that she should have nothing to worry about, but to be honest, there was no way of being sure.

But things went from good to bad for Abigail after a while. She had met a man by the name of Randy Orton and she told me that she had loved him like she had never loved anyone before.

“Abigail, are you sure that you truly know what kind of person this guy is? I just don’t want you getting hurt, that’s all.” I stated, bumping my apartment door shut with my hip. My hands were full with groceries while my phone was squished between my shoulder and cheek, something that was definitely uncomfortable. When I realized that I didn’t get it closed all the way, I raised my foot and kicked it in to its place.

“Oh, Honey Bee, I couldn’t be more sure! He’s so sweet and considerate, never late to pick me up! He works at the police station here in town!”she informed me, a small, dreamy sigh leaving her throat. I gave a laugh and set my bags on the ground before kicking my shoes off my feet.

“All right, as long as you know you’re safe with him. I’m going to get off of here and make some dinner.Tell Bo that I said hello!”

“Oh don’t lie to me, Honey Bee, you’re going to order in Panda Express for dinner cause you don’t want to cook.”she scolded but her soft giggle assured me that she wasn’t truly shaming me. I gave a grin then ended the call, beginning to put my food away in the sections that it belongs to. I laid on my couch for a few moments and stared at the ceiling before I decided that I was going to succumb to my ridiculous addiction to Chinese takeout.

Forty five minutes passed and finally, my food arrived, allowing me to retreat into my room properly. A small chirp through my phone drew me away from my bingeing of Brooklyn Nine Nine and I rolled away to check who texted me and raised an eyebrow when I realized that it wasn’t just any number: it was Abigail: Leave her alone or I swear to God, you’ll fucking die.

I jerked up out of bed and stared at the screen, unsure of how to react to this message. Apparently Abby hasn’t told her boyfriend that her closest friend just happened to be a person halfway across the country. I paced the length of my room and finally paused, deciding that I would call her in the morning. She was obviously with Randy tonight and I didn’t want to risk her getting hurt because I want to discuss her possibly dangerous boyfriend.

I set my half eaten sweet and sour chicken in the fridge and returned to my bed, staring at my clock, hoping that I could fix whatever Abigail had gotten herself into with this guy before it was too late.

With a quick roll to the right, I hit the floor with a groan, looking through the window to see that it was now daylight and snowing. Fantastic.

I pulled myself back to my feet and checked my phone to see if I had received any new messages that I should’ve been worried about. Luckily, there was just one and it really was from Abby this time. I swiped upwards then pressed in my thumbprint before reading what she sent me,”Hey, sorry about that last text! Randy can get a bit jealous. Don’t worry, tho, explained it all!”

I hesitated on what I should say, my thumbs hovering over the text keys, then I decided that I needed to see her face when I asked her these questions that had been brewing in my head all night. I guess worrying about the possibility that your friend’s boyfriend is a psycho really doesn’t let you sleep at night.

“You home alone?” I sent back in return, hoping that she’d give me the okay to FaceTime her. A few seconds skimmed by then she answered, ”Yeah, Randy left for work early today.”

A small sigh left me, my shoulders dropping in relief, then I pressed the button to go ahead and call. It rang three times and she finally picked up on the fourth one, her face slowly coming into focus. But that’s when I noticed it.

“Oh my God, Abigail, do you have a black eye?!” I demanded, leaning forward for a better look. She brushed a timid hand over her injury and reassured me, ”It’s fine, I hit the door knob cause I slipped. No big deal, I promise.”

“Abigail, I don’t think you really know this guy. I mean, he threatened to kill me and he doesn’t even know me!” Her eyes flashed with uncertainty and I began to say something else when she rushed out,”It’s fine, I fixed it! He’s gonna change, I swear it, Honey Bee! It’s fine, now, please, can we just talk about something else?”

And stupid, idiotic me being me, I allowed her to change the subject. But things didn’t become fine and Randy most certainly didn’t change.

Months passed and I began hearing from my friend less and less frequently, something that was uncommon for her. Eventually, time for my semi annual visit down to Florida had arrived and before I knew it, I was getting settled in my usual little hotel that I stayed in. I decided to FaceTime her to make sure that she was at home, since it was Thursday and she didn’t work today.

Her phone rang four times and for a moment, I thought she was going to let me go to voicemail, when she finally picked up. A gasp escaped me at her appearance and I stared at her with my mouth agape, unsure on what to say.

Her cheek was swollen, her black eye barely concealed, and her bottom lip was busted. But really frightened me was the bruises maring her throat. It was obvious that she was at her house, but there had been drastic changes made.

“Abigail, what happened?” I murmured, pressing my hand to my mouth, as if it could stop the tears brewing in my eyes. She began to give an excuse when someone snatched away the phone, shouting,”Fuck off, it’s none of your fucking business!” And with that, the screen went dark. I stared at my phone for a few moments then finally, I acted on what I knew needed to be done. I called the emergency number for Brooksville, Florida, desperate to send help for my friend.

“Hello, 911, is everything alright?”

“No! No, I think my friend is in danger. I called her and she looks like her boyfriend is beating her! When I asked what happened, he took her phone and smashed it. Please, could you send someone out to check on her?��� I rushed out as calmly as I could manage. The man on the other end paused for a quick second and I thought that he might’ve hung up on me then he asked,”Do you know what the address is?”

I began tossing items from my purse then finally dragged my planner out, flipping to all of the addresses I had written down and thankfully, I had Abigail’s. I recited it back to the operator and I could hear him clicking on the keyboard before he answered,”Okay, we are sending in a patrol car now to check on your friend. Do you know what the boyfriend’s name is?”

I began telling him it then paused, remembering one of the few details that Abigail provided me about this dick fuck: he worked at the police department. Cops had a history of hiding domestic abuse cases like this when one of their own was the abuser and I was not about to let Abigail be let down by a corrupt system.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I hope that’s okay.” I apologized, fake sympathy leaking into my voice.

“It’s alright, not a problem. Alright, it sounds like the patrol car is there now. Would you like to stay on the line with me, see if your friend is okay right away?”

“Yes, please, you could.” Silence hit the line and I waited with bated breath to hear what was going on then I heard words that I never wanted to hear.

“Shots fired, shots fired! One officer down, suspect is deceased, victim is critical. We need a bus!” Faint shouting rose through the phone and I ended the call quickly, unsure of what to do. My hands fidgeted, tossing my phone back and forth, then finally, decided to go digging through our past conversations in search of her brother’s number. I knew I should’ve saved it when she first sent it to me.

Two hours passed and I was barely a month through our texts when my phone began ringing with the caller ID as someone from Brooksville, Florida. I quickly picked up then asked,”Hello?”

“Hi, I’m lookin’ for a person by the name of Hunny Bee?”a man questioned, his voice something of a phone sex operator. He had somewhat of an accent and I realized that I knew that drawl. It was Bray, Abigail’s oldest brother. He somehow got my number and was calling me, hopefully with intentions of delivering good news.

“This is them. Is Abigail alright?” I asked, nibbling on my nails. A small sigh escaped his mouth then he stated,”I think you need to meet us down at the hospital, sweetheart.” I paused at his statement then began nodding as I agreed,”Of course, I’ll grab a cab and be there in ten.”

I snatched my bag from the bed and darted out the door, already ending the call with Bray and dialing for an Uber.

I rushed into the hospital and slammed my hands on the desk, rushing out,”I’m looking for Abigail Wyatt.” The man running the desk looked upwards and said with a monotone, ”Can’t if you’re not family.”

“I’m her sister in law and I suggest if you don’t want her brother in your face, you need to fucking tell me what room they’re in.” I snapped, cracking my knuckles. He rolled his eyes and clicked a few tabs on the keyboard before informing me where they were.

I rushed upstairs and began scanning the room numbers for Abigail’s when I heard someone call my name. I turned on my heel and watched as Bo came into view.

“Bo! Have you heard anything yet?” I rushed out after he crushed me into a hug. He pulled away and I watched his face crumble, giving away exactly what fate my dearest friend had met. Another man stepped beside us and I immediately connected who it was: Bray, the oldest of the Wyatt siblings.

“By the time that the police had arrived, it appears that Randall shot her. They warned him to lower his weapon but instead, he fired at the cops who in return, shot him. I’m very sorry, but Abigail has passed.”he informed me and for a second, the briefest of moments, there was silence, then my mind shattered.

“No! She- she can’t be gone, oh my god, how could I let this happen,I should’ve known, I should have pushed her to get help.” I sobbed, my knees buckling from underneath me. Bray caught me by my arms and lowered me to the ground, allowing me to continue my breakdown. He petted my hair and informed me,”Abigail knew the risks. You did everything you could do, it’s not your fault that she didn’t heed the warnings you were giving to her.”

“But-but I could’ve helped her more, could’ve convinced her to break it off with him.”

“Sweetheart, even if she would’ve tried, I imagine that the same result would’ve came along. This will not fall on your delicate shoulders.” Bray assured me, bringing me to my feet. I let out a sniffle and he offered,”Let me take you back to the house, you can rest there. Bo and I have some… arrangements to take care of.” My mind filled in his pause and I gave a stiff nod, muttering,”All my stuff is back at my hotel though.” He rubbed a calloused thumb over my cheek and said,”If you give me your key, I will retrieve your items and bring it back. I don’t think you need to be alone right now.”

“I-I don’t know why I’m not comforting you… you’re the one who lost his sister.” I murmured, lifting my head. He gave a stiff smile and replied,”Indeed I did.. but you gave her life. After she met you, she was like a beacon for us. You blessed her with light when darkness was being to consume her very being. Thank you… for everything that you did for Abigail.” I nodded then he dropped Bo and I at the house to settle in while he went to go get my items from my hotel room. It was going to take a while for me to fully come to terms about what the hell had taken place over the last couple weeks.