#finally back in a place mentally to take selfies

[burntapricots]

I know I haven’t posted in ages but I am, in fact, alive unfortunately 😮‍💨

[lilacgaby]

biker! bakugo PLEASE i'm choking

˗ˏˋride or die

pairing: biker!katsuki x nerd!reader

summary: you'd been partnered up with the hotheaded speed racer, katsuki. who knew he'd end up more interested in you then the races he'd win?

tags: fem!reader, use of she/her, cursing, racing, college au!, no quirk au!, smart reader, studying, projects, reader has glasses, pet names

(a/n: i couldn't resist doing a trope 😖)

wc: 2k

flashing lights, money bags, and trophies were just another thing to katsuki.

It had begun when he was young, as a teenager becoming infatuated with motorcycles. he'd been gifted one when he became the driving age, and it'd become history ever since.

he was naturally adept at the sport, winning every competition he'd ever stepped foot in. but because of his mother, he was still forced to attend college.

it wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't so boring. he'd joined a friend group of fellow bikers, none on his level though. despite his reputation for being a bad, mean, and crude guy,

he'd never miss a class.

he walked in just before the bell rang, sitting towards the back of the class. there was no one close to him, well except you.

with your computer at the ready, notebook wide open, and the clicking of your pen you prepared yourself. your glasses already sliding down your nose as you begun to take basic notes on the slides.

katsuki found himself staring at you often, he didn't know why. maybe it was his boredom, or the focused expression on your face. maybe it was because you were really cute.

his heavy boots clanked around as he put his feet up on the table, not even bothering to pretend he was paying this lecture any mind.

he was lost in though, he honestly couldn't even figure out his own reasoning. but he finally looked off of you to note the huge letters on the board, project requirements. he mentally groaned and read over them, all pretty easy for him to accomplish except for..

the required partner. he didn't have any friends in this class and he sure as hell wasn't going to ask some loser. his eyes were glancing back at you instinctively, your pen was in your mouth as you were lost in thought.

‘a pretty loser’. he thought. ‘why not.’

he was walking over to you before he even recognized his movements, you were packing up your things into you bag when you noticed him. with eyes wide you looked up into his. “yo.” he smirked, hand behind his head.

“hello..?” you replied, confused as to why he was talking to you. you only knew him from the rumors that he was just a rich racer attending school for the hell of it. his expensive leather jackets and sleeves of tattoos you'd seen when he took it off only confirmed those for you. besides that, you'd never noticed him before, not speaking to anyone in this class in general. “can i help you?”

“yeah, we need a partner or some shit. y’ in or not?” his hands were on his hips as he awaited your answer, you finished packing your tote bag and shrugged. “it's cool with me, but i don't have a ride so we–”

“i got one though. so we can do this shit at my place tomorrow.”

“uh.. okay.” he held his hand out to you. you were confused and tilted your head, to which he scoffed. “your phone.”

you made an “o” sound with your mouth, handing it over to him. he had the audacity to snap a quick photo of himself before setting it as his contact photo, filling in his name and number before handing it back to you. “we can start this bull tomorrow, i need it done quick. i got something today and comp season is soon. i can't be busy.”

“uh– okay.. bakugo.” you read his name off of his contact, “that's fine for me.”

“just send me your address tomorrow, i'll come pick ya up. see ya.” with a wave of a hand he left you, holding your phone in your hand still very confused at what just happened.

‘bakugo. what a weird guy.’ you looked over the selfie he took of himself, his eyebrow piercing clear from the shot. your face flushed slightly, but you quickly left since you didn't want to be the last one out.

your day ended as usual, taking the bus home and petting your pet cat. finishing up assignments in the week early but leaving the annoying class for sunday, and sitting down to watch tv.

you were channel surfing, idly yawning as you were looking for something to watch while eating. you eventually landed on the sports channels, you were about to skip through them all when the sight of a familiar face broke you out of your mind.

“bakugo?!” you exclaimed, startling your pet. you couldn't believe it, he was actually racing professionally. and he was good, like really good. you found yourself with your jaw dropped and heart racing as he drove, crazy overtakes and high speed at every turn.

your food was now cold as your eyes had been locked on the race for forty minutes. as bakugo crossed the finish line, winning officially you cheered, fist pumped in the air.

the national anthem played as he was paraded around, cameras in his face as they handed him the trophy. a knowing smirk on his face as he celebrated.

once your excitement died down, you bit into your freezing food, opting to go pop it in the microwave.

as the bowl rang in circles, you realized.. he wasn't expecting you to ride on one of those was he?

yes he was. the next day after you texted him your address, you prayed that he'd come to you in a sports car. a regular car, just something that didn't involve you in something so tiny.

you heard him arrive before he even texted you, the roaring of his bike cutting through the music you were listening to. he arrived outside your apartment with a motorcycle, a spare helmet in his hand as he knocked on your door. “oh, no way.” you eyed him as if he was crazy, and he only laughed. “come on, it's just a bike. i'm the fucking best so don't worry babe.” he took your bag out your hands for you, helping you onto the back of the bike.

his hands were on your waist as he lifted you, steadying you. “hey, i got you.” was all he said before handing you the pink helmet, a bow on the side.

he hopped on in front of you, kicking back the pedal keeping the bike still. “hold on to me.” you put your hands onto his waist. “go slow.”

“i don't promise nothin’.” he roared the engined. “but i'll try for you, pretty girl.”

you squeaked as he sped off, your face now squished against his as you held onto his waist impossibly tight. “this is not slow!” you sped down the streets, way over the speed limit. you should've just taken the damn bus.

“can't hear ya.” you could hear the smile on his face as he sped up. “asshole!” you shrieked again as he popped a tiny wheelie.

after the ride of your life, or the possible end of it, he helped you off. you had shaky legs as you held on to him, chest heaving. “you're crazy.” he didn't let go of you, body supported by him as you walked into his house.

“i'll be back, gotta put the ol’ girl in the garage. make y’rself at home.” he walked out, leaving you calming yourself down. his house was huge, you looked around as you poured yourself a glass of water.

he walked back in, waving you to follow him. “come on, we can start over here.” you followed him into his room, a large setup on his desk. black silk sheets adorned by orange and red comforters laid upon his bed. it was actually pretty well decorated. “you just gonna look all day specs?”

you shook your head and sat next to him. “so, we just have to code a basic game, easy right?”

“yeah. this'll be a piece of cake.”

and a piece of cake it was.

he was actually really smart, fun to talk to. the game was created piece by piece, finished up easily, way faster than expected. but you hung around longer than necessary.

even though you finished the project in a week, it's been about a month and you still would go to katsuki’s house everyday.

lazing around his room on his bed, him holding your waist with one arm while you were hung over his body. scrolling on your phones, sneaking photos of each other, getting impossibly closer.

he'd take you out on drives, actually going slow now and riding around with you. he'd take you to his favorite shops, laughing when you manage to stomach the spicy ramen he enjoyed.

he'd take you to eat ice cream after, sitting in the parking lot watching the moon rise.

“yo, [name].” he pushed up your glasses with a finger. “what?”

“be mine, okay?” your face flushed, you swore the atmosphere grew hot. “uh.. okay.”

“cool,” he breathed. “now i have to ask you the actual important question… [name].” your heart beat sped up as he grew closer to you, caressing your face with his ungloved hand. he took a deep breath before saying,

“will you come to one of my races?”

your face fell and your eyebrows shot up. “that's the important question??”

“hey don't be rude. it's important to me and that shit took a lot outta me.”

that made you laugh, holding your stomach while he started at you with a straight face. you finally calmed down enough to say, “well, duh. of course i'll go. maybe you'll be extra lucky with me there too.” you joked.

“im sure i will [name].” he kissed you afterwards, tilting his head as the moonlight made you look ethereal.

being there was a lot different from just watching on the tv. you had a pass to walk around the pit area, katsuki kept you glued to his side. he explained to you how everything worked, where you'd be able to sit and watch him, and showed you his personal room.

you saw as he raced, your heart in your throat as you saw how dangerous the sport really was.

after all of it, after he won, he threw himself onto you and kissed you, trophy in his other hand.

when it was time to go though, you didn't see his motorcycle anywhere. “hey, ‘suki? where's the bike?”

he walked up to a black sports car, leaning against it. “i wanted to take her out for a spin ya know? switch it up.”

“you had a car this whole time?!”

“yeah, but how else would i get to see your cute face?”

"i'm going to kill you."

"you won't, you love me."

[kyleoreillylover]

Protectors

Jey Uso x Sami Zayn x Fem!Reader

Summary: As the youngest on the roster, you are used to the protective antics of the older members of the WWE- specifically Jey and Sami, who took you under their wing and see you as their little sister, who deemed themselves as your protectors- despite you thinking you can take care of yourself. But tonight, after wanting to experience being a normal teenager and sneaking out to a party you get ditched and stranded at, you call them for help. And Jey is not happy with you.

A/N: This is very self-indulgent. Not that I get stranded at parties, but I wish Sami and Jey were some of my college besties, especially as a first year, and could comfort me, don't we all 🥹 Hope ya'll enjoy!!

tag list: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav (if you wanna be added to the tag list just lmk!)

Word Count: 4,631

The rational part of your brain knew it was a stupid idea ever since your friends suggested it- you had to be stupid to not think that -but the irrational part of your brain wanted to finally act your age and have fun with the friends you barely saw ever since being called up and constantly on the road 300 days a year. 

As a college student who also happened to be a WWE superstar and the hottest act on WWE.

And at a mere 18 years old.

Any other person your age would have jumped at the chance for a wild night out. And you finally wanted to live up to your age. 

Which is why you didnt tell anyone on the roster that you were planning to attend the party. Sneaking out from the tour bus was easy enough, slipping away from the watchful eyes of your older colleagues who often acted as your guardians whenever you were on tour. You were grateful for their protectiveness, but tonight, you craved a taste of freedom, and you weren't gonna get that with them breathing down your necks. 

But now, with the bitter cold air biting at your skin, and the distant sound of music fading behind you, you found yourself regretting your decision. You hadn't anticipated how quickly everything could turn sour. Your friends had scattered away a few hours ago to god knows where, leaving you stranded and uncomfortable in a sea of drunk idiots (there was no way you were trusting the drinks of a bunch of college boys) that were either trying to get in your pants or trying to get you into their friends’ pants. 

And to make things worse-you got recognized. An over-zelous frat boy took one look at you from across the room and literally screamed out your name over the loud music, which in turn made his other over-zelous frat boy friends turn towards you with recognition in their drunken-hazed eyes and run over to you and wrap their sweaty arms around you and beg you for selfies, which in turn made everyone else realize you were there and do the same thing. 

You quickly dipped before shit could hit the fan and managed to slip away and run far away from the house without anyone following you, but now you had no idea where you were, it was getting colder by the second, and you were nervous that a fan would eventually find you. 

You navigated through dimly lit streets, shivering in the cold, desperately trying to remember the route back to the main road to get the hell out of here. The unfamiliar streets twisted and turned, leading you deeper into a residential neighborhood you didn't recognize. Panic began to well up within you as you realized you truly had no idea where the fuck you were going. 

You groaned as as frustration mixed with the cold night air. You had two options now. Either suck it up and keep walking, hoping to stumble upon a familiar place with using google maps, or call one of your friends for help.

You started mentally weighing the pros and cons of each option to call. Cody was finally spending time with his family, you weren't close enough with Seth to ask him for help, Rhea would chew you up and spit you out for being this stupid and leaving without telling her, Bianca was spending time with Montez and busy dealing with Damage Control, Nia hated your guts…which left you with two options...

You reached for your phone, feeling the chill of the night biting at your fingertips as you dialed the numbers of the two people who you defineltey felt the most guilty about not telling about your plans because they were the closest to you and the most protective of you, but you had no choice now. The phone rang, each ring and every second you waited for an answer amplifying your anxiety. 

After a few agonizing moments, the phone finally finally clicked, indicating that someone had picked up. 

"Why the hell you calling at 1 am? I ain't getting you no food uce." Jeys groggy voice greeted on the other end of the line, sounding slightly annoyed at being awakened. "Hey...." You answered back nervously, knowing he'd be even more irritated. 

"Jey, be nice." You heard Sami's equally tired voice chastise Jey. Sami was always the sweetest between the two of them, even though Jey was also syrupy sweet with you and being protective hell over you. Sami was always spoiling you despite Jey's teasing and gruff exterior. You were like the little sister they never had.

"But why are you calling at this time, kiddo? Shouldn't you be sleeping or something, all that teenage angst catching up to you?" Sami teased lightly.

You let out a nervous laugh, the sound slightly shaky from the cold, your breath visible in the chilly night air. "Uh, yeah, about that...I kind of need your help," you admitted, rubbing your arms in an attempt to generate some warmth.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Jey spoke up again, this time more alert. "What kind of help? What the hell you do?" Jey's voice was filled with concern yet tinged with a hint of scolding. 

You let out another nervous laugh, knowing he was going to get more angry. "Don't get mad..." 

"Don't get mad?" Jey's voice rose a notch, and you could practically hear the skepticism in his tone. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Well, you see, I may or may not have snuck out to a party without telling anyone, and now I'm kind of lost in the middle of nowhere," you confessed immediately at his demanding tone, cringing at the admission.

There was a moment of silence, followed by a deep sigh from Sami. "You did what?!" Jey's disbelief was evident, and you could almost picture him running a hand through his hair, a habit he had when he was stressed or frustrated.

"I know, I know, but I called you now, shouldn't that count for something?" You babbled out in a rush to quell his frustations, your teeth chattering slightly from the cold.

Jey let out a frustrated growl. So much for quelling his rage. "You should've not done this shit in the first place, that would've counted for something! You know better than to do this shit-"

"Alright, alright, let's not make her feel worse than she already does." Sami interjected, his tone softer as he put a hand on Jey's shoulder, trying to calm his friend down. "We'll figure this out kiddo, okay? Just send us your location." 

You quickly fumbled with your phone to send them your location- hoping they wouldn't notice you turned it off, but Jey's angry growl indicated that he probably caught on. "And you turned off your location, didn't you?" Jey's voice was stern, and you winced at the disappointment you could feel emanating from him.

"I...uh, didn't want anyone else to track me down," you admitted sheepishly, knowing it was a feeble excuse.

Sami sighed. "Look, just turn it back on so we can find you. We'll be there in a few minutes."

You followed Sami's instructions, turning on your location sharing. As you waited for them to arrive, you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and anxiety. Relief that you wouldn't have to be in these cold, unfamiliar streets alone and would have company soon and anxiety about facing the inevitable lecture from Jey and Sami. 

True to their word, Jey and Sami showed up shortly, wearing sweatpants and hoodies, looking more like they were ready to sleep than to show up and get you. 

Jey's face was etched with anger, disappointment, and concern, while Sami's held a more understanding and sympathetic look, but also had a tinge of disappointment in his face. They both stepped out of their car, and Sami pulled you into a tight, protective hug. The warmth from his hoodie was a stark contrast to the chilly night air, and you couldn't help but sigh in relief.

"Are you okay?" Sami whispered, concern evident in his voice as he pulled away to examine you. You were wearing a low cut black dress that was definitely not suitable for the cold weather, and Sami's worry deepened as he noticed your shivering.

"I'm fine, just cold," you replied, trying to brush off the concern, but the chattering of your teeth betrayed your attempt.

Jey, who had been standing there with his arms crossed, finally spoke up, walking over to you and giving you a jacket."We're taking you back to the bus. This was a stupid idea, and you should know better. Now get in the car."

You nodded solemnly, slipping into the jacket, but Sami frowned at Jeys stern tone. "You don't have to yell at her, Jey. She's already scared and cold." Sami shot Jey a disapproving look that Jey shot right back at him. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do, Sami? Be happy like you that she's almost a grown ass adult that decided to play hide and seek in the middle of the night in some random neighboorhood?"

Your frown turned into a glare as you looked between them, understanding where Jey was coming from but nonetheless still hurt by his words. "You're right. I am an adult, so I shouldn't have to listen to you yell at me like I'm a child," you retorted, crossing your arms defensively.

Jey scoffed, rubbing his temples. "Yeah, your such an adult that you got yourself lost in the middle of the night," he muttered under his breath, but Sami shot him another warning look.

"Enough, Jey. Yelling at her won't change what happened. Let's just get her back to the bus and talk about this when we're all in a warmer, less public place," Sami suggested, guiding you towards the car.

You were about to go into the car, but a voice yelling out your name made you freeze in your tracks. "Y/N!!" The three of you turned to see a big ass frat boy running towards you, phone in hand, with a wide grin on his face. 

"You didnt listen to me ask you for a selfie earlier!" he exclaimed, clearly still drunk. "So now that I finally found you, are you done being a bitch and will take a selfie with me?" He barely finished his sentence before Jey grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him off the ground, a low growl escaping his throat.

"You need to learn some damn manners, you fucking fool!" Jey snarled, his grip tightening on the guy's shirt. "You talk to her like that again I'ma stick my foot up your ass and make sure you can't talk at all, uce."

"Jey, let him go!" Sami intervened, trying to pry Jey's fingers off the frat boy. You watched, wide-eyed, as the frat boy stammered out an apology, fear etched across his face as Jey chocked the life out of him. "Nah, he gotta learn to keep his fucking mouth shut!" Jey's grip tightened on his throat as he pushed him against a nearby car. "You wanna talk that shit to her, you deal with the consequences, uce." Jey's tone was deadly serious, and the frat boy nodded frantically, struggling to catch his breath. 

"Jey, seriously, let him go. We don't need trouble," Sami pleaded, still attempting to calm his friend down. 

"Jey please, let him go. We don't need you getting suspended for hurting a fan over me." Your voice softened as you approached, placing a gentle hand on Jey's arm. He turned to you, his expression still filled with anger but softening slightly at your touch. He listened to you and released the frat boy, who stumbled backward, coughing and trying to regain his composure.

"Get lost," Jey growled at the frat boy, who nodded vigorously before stumbling away, casting frightened glances over his shoulder.

Sami shot Jey a disapproving look, but Jey just shrugged it off. "You didnt have to fight him. You could've just ignored him," Sami scolded gently, shaking his head at Jey's temper.

"I ain't gonna let anyone disrespect her like that, Sami. You know that." Jey replied, still seething but slightly more composed now. You took a step closer to Jey, looking up at him with a mix of fear and love in your eyes. "Thank you, Jey. I'm sorry for causing all this shit." You looked away from him guiltily, not waiting for a response as you crawled into the car, missing the way Jey sighed heavily, his anger slowly dissipating as he met Sami's gaze, who was giving him a knowing look. "Lemme guess, now you are feeling bad and wishing you listened to me?"

Jey sighed again, running a hand through his hair in frustration. 'I fucking know, okay? I shouldn’t have blown up on her like that." Jey admitted gruffly, his voice laced with guilt. 

Sami placed a reassuring hand on Jey's shoulder. "I know, man. But now, let's bring her back to the bus, make sure she's good, and then you can talk to her, okay?”

Jey nodded a mix of concern and remorse on his face as he got into the drivers seat, Jey's grip on the steering wheel tight and Sami sitting quietly beside him, occasionally shooting concerned glances at you in the backseat, where you were shrunken back into your seat, scrolling on your phone to avoid the tense vibes in the car.

The silence was thick, only broken by the occasional sigh from Jey and the sound of Sami shifting in his seat. You glanced up from your phone just in time to see you pull up to the tour bus.

As soon as the car stopped, you hurriedly exited, hoping to avoid the tension inside. You were met with the chilly night air once again, and you wrapped the jacket tighter around yourself, then felt anther arm wrap around you and looked up to see Sami by your side. He gave you a gentle squeeze, silently comforting you as you stood there, feeling the cold night air prickling against your skin. "You'll be okay," he murmured softly.

As you turned to head towards the tour bus, you noticed Jey lingering behind. His expression seemed torn between frustration and worry, his hand running through his hair as if he was battling an internal struggle. His eyes met yours briefly before he turned away, heading towards the bus after you and Sami, making your heart drop in guilt.

You sat down on the couch, pulling the jacket closer around you, trying to shake off the chill that had seeped deep into your bones, the heat emanating from the tour bus a welcome relief. You glanced up as Sami settled down next to you, offering a warm smile in an attempt to ease your n nerves as Jey stomped to the kitchen, his movements tense and agitated. He was trying to mask his concern with a facade of indifference, but it was evident in the way he kept glancing in your direction.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, breaking the silence, your voice barely audible. Sami's face softened at the sadness in your face. "I didnt mean to make you guys scared, or worry you both, or try to prove that I am independent. I just wanted to have fun for once."

Sami gently placed a hand on your shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. 

"It's okay, kiddo. We understand that. But you have to realize, sneaking out alone wasn't the safest way to have fun," Sami replied, his voice calm and understanding. "Jey and I were worried sick when you called. You are like our little sister, and we care about you, and we want you to be safe."

You nodded, feeling guilt weighing heavily in your chest. "I know, and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble."

Sami paused for a moment, his gaze sympathetic and filled with concern. "I know. And I know the pressure can be overwhelming, trust me, I can barely handle it and I am twice your age. But are you not having fun? Are you not happy with Raw and Smackdown? I don't want you to crack under the pressure this young just because you feel like you have to prove something to yourself or others."

You sighed softly, feeling a mix of relief and guilt wash over you. "I am, Sami. I really am happy when I'm with you guys. I'm happy with everyone. I am happy with me life. It's just... sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on being a regular teenager. Everyone else my age is out having fun, and I'm constantly on the road, living this extraordinary life but missing out on ordinary things."

Sami's expression turned into an understanding and his eyes had a pensive glint in his eyes as he pulled you into a tight hug. "I get it, kiddo. I do. I know how tough it is, but I also know that you're strong enough to handle it. You accomplished so much that others can only dream of doing, and youre being a badass while dong it."

You giggled softly at Sami's attempt to lighten the mood, and he smiled back, happy to have finally made you turn back to your normal self. "But you shouldn't be worrying about what you are missing, you should be proud of what you've achieved. You're not missing out on life; you're living it differently, and that's okay."

You smiled into his neck, his words and warm embrace being exactly what you needed. Sami was always so sweet to you. "I needed to hear that. Thank you, Sami.”

Sami pulled back slightly, giving you a warm smile. "Anytime, kiddo. Besides, who else would I be able to spill drama and gossip about with you're not here? Sami chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood further.

You giggled again, nudging Sami playfully. "You have Jey to gossip with."

Sami laughed heartily, the sound echoing through the bus. "Ah, he's got his moments too, but you know, you're the one who keeps things interesting around here."

The two of you turned towards the kitchen when you heard a clang, seeing Jey, rummaging through the fridge with unnecessary force, his back tensed.

Sami turned back to you, a knowing glint in his eyes. "Look, we'll talk more, but I think Jey needs a moment. He's just worried about you, and it's his way of showing it. He needs you more than I do right now."

You nodded your head understandingly at Sami's words; Jey might've had a hard exterior, but underneath all that he needed you right now, needed to make sure you were safe.

"I'll go talk to him," you said softly, standing up from the couch. Sami gave you an encouraging nod as you walked over to Jey, who had his back turned to you, who was aggressively fixing things in the kitchen. You approached him cautiously, knowing he was on edge.

"Jey?" You spoke softly, hoping to get his attention without startling him. You saw his back stiffen, but he didnt turn around. You took a deep breath and continued, knowing he was listening to you. "I'm really sorry about what happened tonight. I didnt mean to worry you or cause any trouble. I just wanted to..." You trailed off, unsure how to express your feelings without making things worse.

Jey finally turned to face you, his eyes red and tired, but full of concern. He didnt say anything at first, just observed you with a mix of emotions flickering his face. His expression softened slightly as he took in your nervous stance, and he let out a heavy sigh. 

"Look sweetheart," Jey began, his voice surprisingly gentle despite the frustration lingering underneath. "I ain't mad at you because I wanna ruin your night or make you feel bad. I'm mad because I care about you. We care about you.

He gestured toward where Sami was sitting, still looking in your direction. "You mean a lot to us, and seeing you like that.." He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "You're not supposed to be sorry, you know? You're supposed to be safe and sound, not running around in the middle of the night and scaring the hell out of us. And you like my sister, so of course I'ma feel some typa way about it." 

You felt your throat close up at the genuine concern in Jey's voice. You moved closer to him, reaching out tentatively to touch his arm. "I... I understand, Jey. I didn't mean to cause so much worry. I just... I wanted to let loose for a night, to feel like a regular teenager, " you admitted, your voice wavering slightly with emotion. “I won't do something stupid like that again, I promise." You looked up at him, sincerity shining in your eyes.

Jey's expression softened at your words, and he sighed, pulling you into a hug. "You better not, or I'ma beat your ass," he said, his tone serious but laced with affection. You giggled into his neck when he lifted you up slightly in a bear hug, your laughter easing the tension between you both. "Okay, okay, I promise! No more sneaking out without telling anyone," you assured him, hugging him back tightly.

"And no more partying alone somewhere you have no idea about."

"Okay!"

"And no more hanging out with friends that ditch you."

"Okay!!"

"And no more stealing my snacks from my locker room when I go out for a match."

"Aye, now you doing too much!"

You both chuckled at your comment, and you pulled away from the hug to look up at Jey.

"I love your protective ass, you know that?"

Jey smirked slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. "Of course you do. Who else is gonna keep you in check, huh?" You nudged him playfully, smiling up at him. "You and Sami are the best. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

Jey's smirk softened into a genuine smile, and he squeezed your arm affectionally. "We got your back, always. Just promise me you'll have ours."

You smiled back at him, your eyes softening with gratitude at having the greatest support system ever. "I promise, Jey. I'll always have your back, just like you have mine."

Jey nodded, a sense of relief washing over him, his demeanor shifting back to his usual protective yet playful self. "Good. Now go back and sit with Sami, your hot chocolate will be out in a minute."

You raised your eyebrows at his words, a grin creeping up on your face. "Hot chocolate? You're spoiling me now, Jey," you teased, feeling a sense of warmth spread through you despite the chilly air outside.

Jey chuckled, pushing you playfully out of the kitchen. "Yeah, yeah, just go before I change my mind."

You grinned and hurried back to the couch where Sami was waiting, a smile on his face as he watched your interaction with Jey. "I take it everything's okay?" Sami asked softly as you sat back down next to him.

"Yeah, everything's good," you replied, leaning against Sami's shoulder. "Jey's just being Jey, you know?"

Sami nodded, wrapping an arm around your shoulders comfortingly. "Yeah, I can tell." He paused for a moment before continuing, his voice filled with warmth. "Jey may not always show it in the best way, but he's fiercely protective because he cares deeply. We both do. You're like family to us."

You smiled gratefully, feeling a surge of emotion at Sami's words. "I'm lucky to have you guys. Don't tell anyone, but when I got called up to the main roster… I was scared. I didnt know anyone, and everyone was so much older and experienced, so I thought to just shut myself off and focus on wrestling. But you guys… you made me feel welcome, like I belonged."

Sami's smile widened at your confession. "Aw, kiddo." He pulled you into his arms again, holding you close. "You fit in right from the start. I saw potential in you from before Cody introduced us, and I knew you'd be something special. You've proved that and more. And don't tell Jey I told you this…"

Sami leaned in to your ear conspiratorially. "But he told me when we first met you that he thought you were the most talented person he had seen in a while, and that it was crazy NXT didn't capitalize on you when they had the chance." Sami pulled back to see the surprised expression on your face, chuckling softly at it.

"He really said that?" You asked, surprised and touched.

Sami nodded, his smile warm and reassuring. "Yeah, he did. But don't spill the beans, he has a reputation to maintain." You laughed as you leaned back onto the couch, smiling up at Sami gratefully. "Thank you for telling me that. And don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

Just then, Jey came into the room, carrying three mugs of steaming hot chocolate. He handed each of you a mug and settled into the seat across from you, a small smile on his face. "Here you go, kid. Don't burn your tongue," he said in a teasing tone.

You rolled your eyes at his teasing, taking a cautious sip of the hot chocolate, reveling in its warmth. "Thanks, Jey. This is perfect," you said, shooting him a grateful smile.

Jey leaned back in his seat, taking a sip of his drink and shooting a knowing look between you and Sami. "So, what'chall taking 'bout?" he asked casually.

You and Sami exchanged glances before chuckling nervously. The two of you were the worst liars on earth. "Oh, nothing, just catching up on some stuff," Sami replied smoothly, trying to cover up the conversation.

Jey raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Ya'll were talking bout me, weren't you?"

You were a little worried Jey had caught on, but Sami was quick on his feet. "Of course not, man. Why would we talk about you when we have more important things to discuss?" Sami flashed a mischievous grin.

Jey squinted at Sami, clearly not convinced. "I know when you're lying, Sami. spill it."

You chuckled nervously, deciding to take the plunge. "We were just talking about this hot guy from school hitting on me at the show one time." you said, trying to divert the conversation with a playful grin.

Jey raised an eyebrow, looking between you and Sami skeptically. "Hot guy, huh? Should I be worried?" he teased, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

Sami laughed, playing along. "Oh yeah, definitely. He was so into her, it was unreal. I had to swoop in and save her from his charming ways," Sami joked, nudging you lightly.

You giggled, grateful for Sami's quick thinking. "Yeah, Sami's my hero," you said with a wink, trying to keep a straight face.

Jey chuckled, shaking his head at your antics. "Yeah, in your dreams, cause ain't no way mans took a look at Sami and got intimidated." Jey smirked, taking another sip of his drink. You laughed at the offended look Sami wore, his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

And as you sipped your warm hot choclate, your heart felt even warmer. You might not have been a regular teenager, but if being a regular teenager meant you couldn't have these friends looking out for you and having your back, then you didn't mind missing out on regular teenage normalcy at all.

BONUS

[gyjo-enthusiast]

special case. ch.3

retired!nanami x younger!sorcerer!reader

summary: during field training, each student is assigned one semi-grade 1 or higher ranked sorcerer. after the last student is left without a mentor, her professor pairs her up with his old, retired grumpy friend.

reader is in their 20s (attending college), afab!reader, fem pronouns

tags: fluff, eventual smut, colleagues with benefits (is that a thing?), age gap (reader in early 20s, nanami in mid 30s), virgin reader

previous chapter: special case. ch.2 | next chapter: special case. ch.4

jujutsu kaisen masterlist | masterlist

chapter summary: after taking up the offer to spend a whole week at your mentor's place, you pack your things and talk through dinner together.

proofread: yes

word count: 2883 (9m)

song rec:

"are you sure it's not going to bother you?" you look at your shoes, sheating both weapons. after nanami's proposal to spend a week at his place, you tensed up, naturally.

"goodness gracious," his hand flew up to his temples, indicating irritation, "i gave you the option, of course it's not going to be a problem." turning his back to you, the blonde started walking away.

"of course if you do not want to, you don't have to," he said, mindful of how this could seem to others. "but i doubt that your classmates are all going back to dorms every single day."

"you think so?" you pondered for a while, coming to a conclusion of staying with your mentor. "okay, but i'll still have to get some spare clothes."

"go ahead and get them. i will text you my address, if anything happens, just let me know," you exchanged numbers before parting ways.

a few minutes later, your phone dinged with a notification of nanami's text consisting of his address and a question: "do you have any allergies? i'm going to make dinner." your face was redder than the sweetest strawberry reading that. wanting to keep cool, you texted back a simple "no allergies, but i don't like raw tomatoes. thank you so much:)"

thankfully you were left on read, you don't think you'd be able to handle a friendly conversation with your mentor. your very handsome mentor at that. your very handsome mentor who was preparing dinner for you two.

you couldn't hide the little smile that took shape on your lips, speeding up slightly. you wanted to be done with those obnoxious stairs to school and unwind after a long day.

as if nanami knew exactly what was going on, almost nobody was staying at the school dorms. quickly, you shuffled your feet towards the second to last door on the floor, unlocking and shutting the piece of old wood behind you.

you picked up your favourite backpack and started filling it up with clothes. checking the things off of your mental checklist: pjs, underwear, comfy clothes, spare uniform, your favourite plushie and more boring stuff like toothpaste and toothbrush.

you were practically sprinting out of your room, when your phone dinged again. this time, it was a notification from your class group chat. as if it was a sign from god himself, you realised you need your charger. you silently thanked yuuji for sending so many unnecessary selfies and finally closed the door. locking it twice, you briskly left the vicinity of your school and tried to find nanami's address on a map.

before you knew it, you descended the school stairs and went into the town without ever finding where his house is located, so you decided to focus on your surroundings for a bit to find out where you even are.

"to my left is a.." looking left, you saw an old bus station, which you tried to locate on the map. "a bus station.."

where the hell is it?!

"okay to my right is a theater, that should be easier to find," you hopelessly scrolled on your phone to find out where you are and where nanami's house is. "it should be easier to find, right?" you started to panic when you couldn't find anything around you on the map.

you were as lost as on your first day in tokyo, maybe even more. you knew you should text your mentor to let him know, but how could you? this is more embarrassing than not being able to exorcise a low-level grade curse.

realising that this is pointless, you gave in and started to look for nanami's number in your contacts.

but of course, as if he was telepathic, he called you before you could even dial his number.

"y/n? are you okay?" he said overly harsh, as if he was afraid something might have happened.

you sighed and eventually answered, "yes, sir. i'm.. i'm lost." you expected a scolding but it never came.

"lost? as in you already got your things but can't find the address? or you never went back to dorms?" nanami softened his tone, relieved that it's nothing serious.

"i can't find the address. i'm sorry," you apologised, guilty for being so troublesome.

"it's okay, just describe where you are, yeah?" he sounded entirely different now, like a concerned friend more than a mentor.

"um, well i can see an old bus station, it looks like it's not being used anymore, there's not a name of the station anywhere. there's also a theater on the opposite side," you paused for a second before finishing your thought, "it's like a crossroad if that makes sense? also i can't see anybody."

"y/n," nanami called out to you flatly, "don't go anywhere, alright?" you heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. "i think i know where you are so just wait there."

"can you not just tell me in which direction to go, sir?" you asked timidly, not wanting to be a burden.

"it's okay, the streets there are complicated to navigate through so this is easier. i'll be there in a minute." and with that, he ended the call and you were left in the empty streets, waiting.

a few minutes went by and you saw the first person to pass through here. as he made his way towards you and you could see him more clearly, you knew that without mistake, it was nanami.

you didn't know whether to be relieved or even more stressed, because he had to come for you like for a kindergartener. you slowly approached him and sheepishly smiled.

"i'm sorry sir, i'm still not used to tokyo," you excused yourself, as if it was good enough to make him come all the way here.

"don't worry about it, for now, let's go eat dinner. i'll tell you about this place later," he put a hand on your shoulder, reassuring you that it was not a big deal.

as you made your way through the streets, you suddenly understood nanami about the complicated layout of the town. if he was to just navigate you, it would do more harm than good.

it was really just a few minutes until you were at nanami's place. he unlocked the door to his apartment and led you to his bedroom.

"since i don't have a spare room, you can sleep here if you don't mind," he gestured towards his king-sized bed. your worried gaze fell upon him as he explained, "i will sleep on the couch, don't worry."

"no, i can't do that," you instantly protested, not wanting to compromise his comfort. "i'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in your bed," you beamed at him, leaving for the living room.

"it's okay y/n, there's plenty of room on the couch for me to sleep on, if that's what you're worried about," he ignored your statement and stood infront of you. "i've fallen asleep there many times."

"but this is just rude of me, first i can't find your address and then i take your bed?" you sadden a bit, backing away from nanami.

"don't forget that i was the one who suggested this," he crosses his arms and looks down at your small form. "sleeping on the couch is my responsibility as well. at least for this week."

he was taking this very seriously, you wanted to argue once more. you looked up at him, ready to take the couch for yourself, but you stopped yourself. it's not as if his stern gaze alone put you in your place. no, he looked completely different when he wasn't working.

hair slightly falling into his face, forearms exposed (courtesy of his rolled up sleeves), the first two buttons of his shirt undone and glasses discarded. his eyes watched you as you observed him, waiting to see if you'll still protest or not.

after a while, you surrenderred and went to his bedroom. "whatever, but don't complain if your back hurts tomorrow. don't forget that i wanted you on the bed!"

"what?" nanami looks at you, confused.

"w-what?" you repeat after him, confused as well. with a sigh, he softly closes your door and leans against the wall.

"change into something more comfortable and come eat. i hope you're not going to run around in your uniform all day," the blonde then walks away to give you some sort of privacy.

you have to admit, you weren't the best with wording, at least he understood that. you hope. it's amazing how he can brush past that situation and go eat. at the same table with you nonetheless.

you were blushing like crazy just remembering the situation, but what makes matters worse was your choice of clothing. it was particularly hot during this time, so you decided to pack just some shorts that were laying around and a shirt that may be too small for you. that shirt was practically a crop-top now.

looking at your new outfit, you seriously thought that maybe being in your school uniform was better after all. you tried to shove all the inappropriate thoughts away as you awkwardly waddled towards the dining area, careful not to show any more skin than necessary.

nanami was still turned towards the counter, and you hoped he could stay like that while you ate and also went back to his bedroom.

"have you ever been to korea? or had korean food?" he suddenly asked, making you jump in your seat.

"no.." you simply answered before elaborating, "but i'd like to try it one day, why?"

"then i'm sorry you have to try it with me first. i made bibimbap for dinner," he explains, head half-tilted towards your direction. "it's not as authentic, but i like it," turning to you, he brings out a bunch of small bowls with vegetables, mushrooms and some sort of sauce, "and it doesn't contain any tomatoes."

"no it's okay! i'm sorry to be of any trouble regarding food," you apologise, smiling as he remembers you don't like tomatoes. "you didn't have to make something so big though."

"don't worry, if you weren't here, i would simply eat the rest tomorrow," he plainly stated, bringing two more huge bowls filled with food.

"wow, it smells great," you noted quietly.

"thank you," he smiled softly, explaining the dish, "it's basically a rice bowl with vegetables and meat on top. i didn't want to bother with the eggs so there aren't any, but usually you do them sunny side up. in the small bowls you serve kimchi and gochujang sauce, as well as more vegetables."

"that's amazing, it looks easy to make as well," you look at all the food on the table, "except cutting the vegetables." you laugh quietly, still mesmerised.

"it looks easy, but you have to manage a few things at once. i can give you the recipe if you want to try it out sometime," nanami suggests, making your eyes light up.

"really? i'd like that very much!" you smile at him, a gesture which he returns.

"of course. now let's eat before the rice gets cold," the man in front of you picks up his chopsticks and you mirror his action.

you both eat in silence, enjoying the foreign dish, before a thought pops into your mind. it's that crossroad, where there wasn't a soul to be seen. it seemed like nanami knew about it and you couldn't help but be curious about it.

swallowing your bite, you anxiously asked, "sir?" getting his attention, you continued. "can you tell me about the place where i got lost?"

nanami thickly swallowed before answering. "it's an abandoned part of town, mainly because people who go there disappear and don't come back," he raised an eyebrow at you, "i think you can imagine why that is."

"cursed spirits?" you meekly ask.

"an unseen amount, yes. the jujutsu sorcerers can't regulate them properly. it seems to be a huge area that attracts them," he explains, looking irritated.

"that's horrible, even more so that they can't find out why it's happening," you ponder about it for a while, but let it go eventually. still, it's going to be stuck in your head.

finishing your food, you stood up to help with the dishes before you were stopped.

"it's alright, y/n. i'll do the dishes, you should rest," nanami sounds out from behind you, collecting the small bowls.

"you should be the one resting, sir. i should do it, you're the one who made such an amazing meal after all," you try to protest again, however this time, nanami just doesn't have the strenght to put up with it.

"then you wash them and i will dry them and put them away, is that fine?" he sighed.

"okay then, but only because i don't know where to put them once i'm done!"

as you start to wash the dirty dishes, nanami stands right beside you. that's when it dawns upon you that you still only have your short tee and shorts on. embarrassed, you fixate your eyes onto the sink and try to forget about your poor choice of clothing.

your mentor of course noticed your outfit but tried to be professional about it. whenever you would finish up washing a dish and hand it over, nanami's fingers would brush over yours in the slightest. it was driving you crazy and you soon started to shiver, even though your hands were under the warm water and your ears were red hot.

"y/n?" the aforementioned man spoke up to you, "are you cold?"

oh, this was a nightmare. "no i'm okay!" you straightened up, trying to keep as still as possible but your body was not taking orders from you anymore.

"you're shivering, is the water cold?" he looked over to you as you nervously smiled. "why are you wearing shorts if you're cold? and such a short shirt," it felt almost as if he was scolding you.

"it's okay, sir, i'm not cold, it's just a shirt that was lying around, i was packing up so quickly i didn't realise," you tried to laugh it off but before you opened your eyes, the man disappeared. shortly after he came back with one of his own shirts and set it down on the other side of the counter.

"it's okay, you can have this one for the time being," he patted your back, took a small bowl and started drying it. not wanting this to be more embarrassing than it already was, you let out a small "thank you" before finishing up the dishes.

heading towards the bathroom to shower and change the godforsaken shirt, he called for you one more time.

"do you want to watch the tv before you go to sleep? i don't have one in my bedroom."

"if you wouldn't mind, then yes," you quickly showered and went back to the living room.

"just put on anything you'd like, i'm going to take a shower," you heard nanami's voice from around the corner before hearing the door close.

"thank you, sir!" you shouted back at him and went to find the remote, stealing nanami's blanket before he comes back.

turning on the tv and finding netflix, you had no idea what to watch. you felt like nothing was interesting and whatever was, you already saw six times. seeing a new crime tv show, you put it on only to be fast asleep after half an episode.

nanami took his time, letting you watch whatever you were watching, but before long he couldn't endure the scorching heat of the shower and came out. finally changing into his casual clothes, he heard gunshots and arguments on the tv. sighing, he made his way to the living room, only to find you sleeping on the couch, remote still in hand.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, not believing the situation. nevertheless, he slowly approached the couch and tried waking you up. to no avail.

"y/n, hey wake up," he shook with you slightly, whispering so you wouldn't be in too much of a shock once you wake up. "y/n!" he whisper-shouted at you a few times, which was obviously also not doing anything.

"i can't believe this kid," he whispered to himself, wrapping you in his blanket more. he then picked you up bridal style and slowly made his way to his bedroom, trying not to stumble.

finally setting you down on his bed, he was prepared to take the other blanket from the bed and leave, when a small hand tugged at his sleeve.

"y/n?" he whispered, not sure whether you were awake by now or not.

when you didn't respond, he decided you were sleeping, so he should go too. that's when your hand tugged at his sleeve again, and he noticed small tears rolling down your cheeks.

his heart skipped a beat at that, but he decided that this wasn't right, and ultimately swiped your tears with his thumb and left. without a blanket at that.

he couldn't believe you slept through all of that. maybe a new student was just what he needed in life.

got a bit of a writer's block but we're so back. i think i might just rewatch jjk for this man(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

[k-slla]

At your mercy

Pairing: Jensen x fem!reader

Warnings: nsfw(18+), language, dom!Jensen, choking, oral (m receiving), fingering, Daddy kink, praise kink

A/N: Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 😏 I literally just finished it, so all mistakes are mine. Feedback is appreciated as always!

Banner/dividers credit: @cafekitsune (Go share the love please! 😍)

Word count: ~1.6k

My Masterlist

You were packing in a hurry, just throwing stuff in suitcase, deciding later what to wear tonight. You couldn't be late for your flight to Nashville, where Jensen was going perform tonight with his band. He had no idea that you bought a ticket and were planning to surprise him there.

You got to the hotel and quickly checked in. After getting to your room, you took a long shower to calm your nerves. Jensen didn't like to be surprised or teased, so you knew you were in for a punishment tonight and you couldn't wait already. That sweetly burning pleasure that would wind you up until you were squirming under him.

You decided to start early on teasing and put on a white lacy lingerie, the same one that Jensen just wants to rip off of your body every time he sees it, and laid down on bed to take a selfie. You positioned yourself on the bed so he wouldn't see the rest of the hotel room on the photo and sent it, accompanied with "guess I'll have to take care of myself tonight 💋".

You started doing your makeup and hair, which you decided keep simple and flowing off your shoulders. Chosen a gray silk dress that hugged your curves all the right places, you changed clothes and started to make your way downstairs to the bar.

You sat at a table on the side of the stage and luckily the lights were dimmed already, so possibly he wouldn't see you yet. You got a message from him.

J: You're such a tease, baby. Just begging for punishment, wait until I'm home and you'll get it

He got no clue. You ordered a drink and relaxed on the couch. The band came onto the stage and behind them was Jensen. Your heart fluttered when you saw him. He looked amazing in his dark red suit.

As he walked to the microphone, his eyes scanned the room. When he finally saw you, his gaze turned dark. You gave him a sinful smile and slid your hair off one shoulder, revealing your neck. You noticed him quickly lick his lips so you blew him a kiss and took a slow sip of your bourbon.

When they started to play "Angeles“, you felt your nerves calm down. Their relaxed version of the song was just perfect. You truly couldn't believe that this gorgeous man was yours. That these hands that were playing the guitar so skillfully in that moment, would later be exploring your body inside and out, you thought and smiled to yourself. That his angelic voice would be giving you unholy orders, that you wouldn't take from anyone else.

After finishing your drink, you blew him a quick kiss and made your way back to your room. You wanted to have some time to relax and prepare yourself mentally for him. This was certainly going to be a long night, because Jensen would love nothing more than seeing you writhe in pleasure for hours and not being able to cum without his say-so.

You took a deep breath and tried to relax a bit. After sending Jensen your room number, you laid back down to wait for him.

You were in deep thoughts and didn't realize how much time had passed, when you heard knocking on the door. "Who's there?" you asked and got up from the bed. "Housekeeping!" Jensen answered with husky voice. You opened the door and stepped back a bit to let Jensen enter. "Hello, love." he said and closed the gap between you, kissing you passionately. He turned you around and whispered "You have misbehaved today. You do know that Daddy has to punish you now, don't you?" while peppering your neck with kisses. Your knees went weak. "I know, Daddy, " you whimpered. His hands caressed your body over the dress. The room was getting too hot already.

"What is your safe word?" he asked firmly, his hand softly closing around your neck. "You know that I won't need it. " you answered. "I know, baby, but better be safe than sorry. I haven't decided yet where this will go exactly" he said as he stepped in front of you. You looked into his emerald green eyes and said "Raspberry."

"Interesting choice." he smirked.

He opened the zipper on your dress and let it pool around you legs. You just stood there in your lingerie as he admired you up and down. "God, Y/N, you're so beautiful." he said as he pulled your body into his and kissed you breathless. He unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor. His hand came to pinch your nipple and couldn't hold back a mewl. You could feel his cock was already hard and that got you even more aroused if it's even possible. You wanted to open his belt buckle, but his hands stopped you abruptly. "Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. On the bed. " he commanded.

Jensen guided you to the bed, eyeing you like you were his prey, waiting to be devoured. His large frame was towering over you, as he was kissing your neck, sucking on your breasts and moving down slowly taking his time. "Fuck, Jay, feels so good" you moaned. Your hips jerked up when he kissed your covered mound and then removed your panties swiftly. "Please, daddy, I need you" you begged. "Do not move" he said as he moved away suddenly.

"See, you started with the teasing today, Y/N," he said as he removed his suit jacket. "And I intend to finish it, so you could learn your lesson." he stated. He kicked of his shoes. With a devilish smirk, he took off his shirt, keeping his eyes on yours. Oh, he knew that you loved watching him undress, so his moves were intentionally slow.

He sat down on an armchair next to bed and enjoyed the show of you whimpering and begging for him. He took off his pants and started to stroke himself slowly. God, he was infuriating. "I'm sorry for teasing you. Please just fuck me already!" you cried out. You started to get desperate. Your hands started to move towards your pussy. "No touching yourself, darling, or you won't cum tonight." Jensen warned you. You were so wound up that you couldn't even think straight anymore. You needed him inside you. Your fingernails digged into the bedsheets as you were trying to calm yourself down little bit. You had no choice but to watch him as he was masturbating, only soft grunts and moans leaving his lips.

"Want to help me finish off, baby? I'll take care of you then." He groaned. In a heartbeat you were kneeling in front of him, looking up with doe eyes. He slightly pulled your hair and you opened your mouth wide so he could guide his cock inside. You started to moan to make him feel even better and his eyes fluttered close in pleasure.

"Oh god, I'm already close, baby. You feel so good." he panted. As you continued to move your head, you could feel his grasp tightening in your hair.

"Oh, fuck!" he muttered as he came. You pushed his dick deeper in your throat to catch every last drop. That sensation alone almost made you cum right away.

He pulled out and looked directly into your eyes. "Mmm, aren't you a little cockslut? Took it all right in." He caressed your cheek softly.

"Is it your turn now? You do want to cum, don't you? " he asked. No words came out and you only managed to frantically nod your head. His hand came around your neck again and squeezed gently. "I need words, Y/N. Do you want to cum?" He asked more sternly this time.

"Yes, please, Daddy. I want to cum. " He kissed you roughly. "Get up then and over the vanity." he ordered.

He bent you over and turned your head so you could see him behind you. Slipping his finger through your slick folds, he took some time to admire your pussy.

"You're beautiful, Y/N. All squirmy and needy for me. " he said as he slowly started moving his fingers inside you. Almost instantly your eyes rolled back and you felt your walls clenching around him.

"Oh, fuck, so good! Choke me please!" You mumbled. He chuckled quietly and pulled you straight up. "Well, if you ask me so nicely." His free snaked around your neck, making you weak in knees from pleasure. Loud moan escaped you and you reached for his hand to keep yourself up as Jensen picked up the pace fingering you.

"Oh, shiit, I'm close, Jay." You cried out as you shut your eyes tightly. "Oh, no, darling, I need you to look me in the eyes." You tried to force your eyes open again through the pleasure. "I.. can't.. oh, fuck.." you panted out as you tried to hold yourself back from climaxing without his permission.

"It's okay, baby, you can let go now. I got you" he whispered kissing your neck softly and that made you cum so hard, your legs were trembling and you could only whimper from delight.

Jensen's arms were your only support keeping you standing as you slowly came down from your high. "I think you almost blacked out for a second there." He chuckled and turned you around and kept you in his embrace as you calmed. You rested your head in his shoulder and kissed his neck. "I love you, Jensen."

"I love you too, baby." He kissed your temple. " Let's get you lied down again. I'm still not quite finished with you." he said with his devilish smirk.

[heartj4yn0]

let's go for a walk.

Inspired by an instagram edit i randomly found while scrolling and thought it was cute! It made me feel safe. It made me feel like i was home (mark) and it made me feel like i was him <3 #delusionalczennie haha

You've been reminding Mark to toss the piled rubbish out, but because he's a careless person, of course, he forgot until today. The front door made a beeping sound when he did so. His shadow suddenly appeared over you as you were preoccupied with the television. halting your performance to take notice of his shadow. 

He asked you, "Babe, should we go for a walk?" with excitement. You only responded by humming. He repeated, "Do you want to go for a walk?" Knowing full well that you were preoccupied with who knows what. 

It was a cold wintery day, so you knew you needed to put on those clunky boots and your long padded jacket; you're usually cold. Mark zips up your unzipped jacket, giving you the appearance of a penguin. 

"You ready, babe?" he asks, taking your hand in his and making sure to turn off all lights except the fairy lights so it's not too dark when you guys get home. As soon as you entered the lobby, he informed you that it would be freezing outside. 

You said, leaping up and down, squeezing his gloveless hand, "Dude, it's so cold!" You didn't realize how cold it would be outside because you worked from home today and drank hot chocolate with marshmallows by the fireplace you both finally put together (actually, none of us did, the fireplace people put it together, we don't have the skills, sorry).

"Oiiiiii, it's cold babeeeeeee!!!" and Mark's never-ending "it's cold" and yet you're both still cold, refusing to go back home and warm up with hot chocolate and a hot pack.  

"Wowowow," the cheetah-like man said as you twirled about, attempting to raise your body temperature. As a result of the cold, he made some strange noises. I mean, he requested a walk. During the winter. That's exactly what you get. 

 When the wind blows, Mark immediately zips up his jacket and doesn't want the cold wind to penetrate under his light jacket. He props the camera on selfie mode, trying to take pictures of both of you when the wind ends up making an appearance aka your hair flying to places which wasn't the aesthetic you were going for but we get the gist. you've taken a mental note to print them and frame them as memoirs of the cold weather.

“It’s cold, it’s so cold~~~” he was vlogging and twirling around at the same time, it was your tradition vlogging these little moments then compiling them to be posted to your private youtube channel where your family members and friends could enjoy your chaotic yet calm daily lives. (the camera shaked more than your booty// bye im sorry)

After an hour in the cold, you decided it was time to go home because baby cheetah (mark) was tired and sleepy and hungry. You chuckled looking at his tired expression but you were glad he asked you out. No matter how cold it was, you’re always warm with him <3 

—ahhhh i'm back!!!!!!!!!! the fact that i have so many unfinished drafts is making me sad T.T but it's okay, good things take time!!! and i've been super busy :(!!!

love, erin <3

[ultra-raging-ghost]

op the best thing your parents can do is get the divorce bless, im sorry about the fighting :( i get you it's the WORST but at least you got to play a cool game🔥🔥 now cmon spill some batjokes go go go

this is the FUNNIEST ask to get without context and i feel like im finally living up to the expectations of an ao3 author, also ty anon i was just super fucking stressed, i got an hour of sleep sunday night/monday morning and then when i was at my friends place i crashed really hard and slept for 14 hours straight and it really helped but anyway okay BATJOKES

okay so i played both seasons i dont have a pc myself but my friend does and they have both seasons and brooooo..... i played the vigilante joker route and i loved it

i sacrificed the FUCK out of catwoman im ngl.... my friend was so surprised but dude i was SO DOWN BAD FOR JOHN!!!!!! IDGAF !!! i was so down bad for john the whole time dude and at the end it was like "oh you were manipulating him into thinking you liked him to get info" NO!!!! I WANTED TO FUCK HIM!!!!!!!

when harley debuted i chose the option of asking john if he was in love with me AND HIS ASS SAID NO BUT ISTG HE WAS IN DENIAL!!! PURELY BECAUSE HE BELIEVED HARLEY TO BE HIS SOULMATE, SHE HIT HIM SHE DOESNT DESERVE HIM LIKE I DO !!!!!

like at some point with catwoman i chose something like against her for john and i was in the MINORITY like it was a 95%/5% Ratio and i was in the 5% and i do NOT regret that shit ‼

otherwise aside from my mental illness about batjokes i had a lot of unpopular opinions according to the peanut gallery (my irl who was watching me play it) like im ngl i gave up batman to keep alfred like HES OUR DAD???? THATS OUR DAD RIGHT THERE AND HIS POINTS WERE VALID, IMMA LISTEN TO HIM HES SMART IDK.....

Otherwise dude... i felt SO bad for harvey (2face)!!!!!! aside from his main storyline (i was very merciful and understanding with him, actually i saved him over catwoman in that one scene so his face didnt get fucked up just his arm in the fire) i read his file on the gotham news reports and dude..... like everything surrounding him is just SO SAD

Also i cannot say this enough tbh i side with mr. freeze every time.... i may be a sucker for romance but that man was trying his hardest to save his wife and from what ive seen he does that in every iteration of batman, like he becomes a villain and gets into illegal shit because his wifes sick and idk man..... like even if he is a villain i really empathize with him??? in the playthrough i offered to keep his wife safe and alive and i took mercy on him when he got infected with the virus and i froze him, like i have confidence in him idk.... i know he probably died bc it turned out the reason the riddler survived was because of the cure that also made him go insane but like my fingers are CROSSED!!!!!

also will say the only thing id change was i was kinda iffy about taking that selfie with john at the funeral, like i didnt do it but idk..... afterwards i thought abt taking that back like dude i NEVER WRONGED that man!!!!!! he was my POOKIE!!!!!! and i lowkey feel like him going crazy in the vigilante route was pushed for by the writers bc it felt a lil.... idk..... like forced but i get it its part of the story line......./silly

my friend played the villain!joker route and from what ive heard its EVEN GAYER and they let me watch them play the last 15 minutes of the villain route so i could see how differently they handled selina and that doll scene was kinda.... idkkkk 👀 like heyyyyy/f

i also heard theres a line from harley in the villain joker route about how he could never get over me and how john always liked me better than her which was SO satisfying because i made batman so jealous over her and john hanging out like im ngl i was so up harleys ass in s2

OH OH other thing id change, i wouldnt sip from harleys slushie, i didnt understand why she was offering it to me but now that i know i wouldnt take it ngl, making john jealous was not worth that slushie !!!!!

uhhh thats all, ty anon :D

[loveisnotovertae]

Love Is Not Over

✏️Taehyung x OFC ✏️Friends to Lover AU 🛑 Rated 18+ 📖WC: 2490 ⚠️Mentally abusive and controlling ex, stalking, mention of anxiety cheating, COVID, drinking, drunk hookup, masturbation, oral, accidental marriage, accidental pregnancy⚠️

Mae always wanted to go to South Korea and visit all the places her Aunt and Uncle used to tell her stories about. So after catching her fiancè cheating, she did just that. Her two month trip turned into a permanent stay thanks to covid lockdown. A friendly neighbor turned best friend, who just so happened to be part of the biggest music group in the world. A drunken night that changed her life forever.

Chapter 10

“How many damn pictures do you have on here?” Taehyung asked, sitting on the couch with his food.

“I don’t know,” Mae shrugged, taking a bite of hers. “It’s the phone that I bought when I decided to stay in Korea. So, three years worth.”

“You should’ve gotten a new laptop then, too.” he said watching the number of downloads slowly rise. “By the time this is done, we’ll be in the States.”

“It’s not that bad.” Mae pouted.

“Mae, Tae has a point. It’s been an hour.” Hoseok said, walking out of the kitchen with a freshly opened bottle of wine.

“How much longer does it say, Taehyung?” Mae asked holding up her glass to be refilled.

All eyes in the room looked at Taehyung when he didn’t answer.

“Kim Taehyung!” Veronica yelled from her spot on the floor causing him to jump.

“Hmm,” Taehyung’s face reddened when he saw everyone looking at him.

“What on earth has you spacing out so hard over there?” Kimberleigh asked in curiosity.

D leaned over Yoongi, looked at the computer and chuckled. “Yep, that’ll do it.” she said before sitting back.

“What is it?”

“Mae in lingerie.” Yoongi said, taking a sip of his whisky.

Mae let out a squeal and quickly stood to grab the computer. She picked it up off the table and sat down on the arm of the couch with the screen away from everyone else.

“Which shoot was it?” Veronica asked, standing beside her.

“Judging by the bed, they are from Jeju,” Taehyung said before taking a drink from Mae’s glass.

“Is that why you were staring at it for so long?” Jungkook teased, “Trying to remember your wedding night?”

“We are not married, Jungkook!” Mae said, sending him a death glare which only made him laugh.

“Umm, Mae.” Veronica tapped her shoulder, “You might want to retract that statement.”

“What?” Mae’s face scrunched as she turned to look at her friend.

“Look at the pictures that just loaded in.”

Mae slowly turned her head to the computer on her lap. The first set of pictures she saw were selfies of her and Taehyung at the Jazz Club. She slid off the arm and sat next to Taehyung on the couch when she finally saw what Veronica was talking about.

“Oh, fuck me…” she whispered, putting her hand over her mouth.

There, on the screen, was the proof she’d been looking for, but it wasn’t going to prove Dispatch wrong. It was going to prove them right.

“What is it, Mae?” Jimin asked.

“It’s…umm…well,” Mae cleared her throat, “It’s me with a cheap veil, standing next to Taehyung, and we are getting married.”

“We’re, WHAT?” Taehyung grabbed the laptop from her.

“You're joking right?” Seokjin asked, wide-eyed.

“She’s not joking. There’s a video too. And…” Taehyung brought the computer closer to his face, “I think that’s us signing the papers.”

“Let me see that.” Namjoon said, taking the computer out of his hands and sitting on the furthest end of the couch.

Mae stared off into space while her friends huddled around Namjoon looking at the pictures.

“Mae,” Taehyung put his hand on her shoulder causing her to jump, “Are you ok?”

“What the fuck did we do, Taehyung?”

Taehyung looked over at their friends who were busy chatting and looking at the computer. “Come on,” he said, standing and taking her hand, “Let’s go talk where it’s less noisy.”

Mae let him guide her to her bedroom, where she immediately fell face first into her bed while he closed the door.

She let out a frustrated yell into her mattress and kicked her legs. They had actually done it. They got drunk and were married.

“What the hell did we do, Mae?” Taehyung asked, laying on the bed next to her.

“We fucking got married, Tae,” she said turning her head to look at him, “We got drunk and got married.”

“What the hell was drunk “us” thinking?” he asked, moving her hair out of her face.

“That we would find it amusing, evidently.”

“It kind of is, actually. Sober you hates me a good chunk of the time. Drunk you must really love me to get married.”

“I’ve never hated you, Tae,” Mae sighed and rolled to her back. “You’re just a pain in my ass most days.”

“Well you're not always a ray of sunshine either, wife.”

Mae couldn’t help but laugh at being called his “wife”.

“What are we going to do?”

Taehyung looked at his watch and sighed. “I’ll have to call my lawyer tomorrow on my way to the airport to see what we should do. It’s late, and I don’t want to disturb him.”

“You mean like an annulment?” Mae asked, turning to look at him.

“Well, yeah. Unless you want to stay married to me.” A smile tugged on his lips when he turned his head to look at her.

“Won’t that look bad on you though? I mean, us drunkenly getting married already looks bad, but won’t it look worse if we end it so quickly?”

“Just admit that you like the idea of being married to me, Mae.” Taehyung rolled to his side and looked at her with a big smile.

“Don’t be a jerk,” she chuckled and smacked his chest.

“What about you, Mae? Aren’t you worried about your reputation?”

“People will eventually forget about the American temptress who got V of BTS drunk and tricked him into marrying her.”

“Hey! Who said I didn’t trick you?” Taehyung asked. “I am just as much to blame as you are.”

“Taehyung, I'm a nobody compared to you.”

“Don’t say that. You aren’t a nobody.”

“HERE, TAKE IT!” The two of them jumped when Jimin flung the door open and ran into the room.

“Get your ass back here, Park Jimin!” Veronica yelled from down the hall.

“Take it, Mae. Hide it. Destroy it. Do something with it, quickly!”

“What are you talking about?” Mae asked, taking the computer from him and putting it on her desk.

“We were watching one of the videos and the two of you started moaning. A lot…”

“What?” Taehyung asked, quickly sitting up.

“Come again?” Mae turned and looked at the frantic man.

“We didn’t see anything. I grabbed the computer and ran once the moaning started,” he said, leaning backwards a little to look out the door.

“Park Jimin!”

“Hurry, she’s coming. I’ll try and fight her off,” he said before quickly turning and running out of the door.

Mae grabbed the SD card from the computer and frantically looked around for a place to hide it.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked.

“I need to find a place to put it before she gets in here.”

“Give it here. I’ll take it with me.”

“Nope, not happening. I don’t know what’s on it,” she said, sprinting for her bathroom when she saw Veronica’s shadow on the wall coming closer.

“Where is she?”

Before Veronica could step into the room Taehyung ran towards the bathroom. The two of them reached the door just in time to see Mae flush something down the toilet.

“You flushed it?” Taehyung asked in shock.

“She wouldn’t,” Veronica said, pushing past him and searching around the bathroom.

Mae went and stood by Taehyung in the doorway.

“It’s gone, Ronnie,” she said, crossing her arms and watching her friend.

“For the love of…Ronnie! What are you doing?” Kimberleigh asked, looking over Taehyung and Mae’s shoulders.

“The bitch flushed it!” Veronica huffed, giving up her search.

┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛

Mae laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling. The guys left hours ago and the three other women were fast asleep. With the house now silent everything was finally sinking in. Her mind was in a constant swirl of the events that unfolded over the past few hours and trying to remember what happened that night. She hadn’t even looked at all the pictures yet.

Her phone's notification sound brought her out of her thoughts. She rolled over and grabbed it from her night stand.

Taehyung: I can’t sleep. How about you?

Mae: Go to sleep, Tae. It’s two in the morning and you have a plane to catch in five hours.

Taehyung: I can sleep on the flight. You’re replying so I’m assuming that you can’t sleep either?

Mae: No, my brain won’t shut up long enough for me to.

Taehyung: I know you didn’t flush the SD card.

Mae: Kim Taehyung, are you calling me a liar?

Taehyung: Maybe. I think I know where you hid it too.

Mae couldn’t see his face but she knew he was smiling.

Mae: Ok, I’ll play along. Let's say I didn’t flush the card. Where did I put it?

Taehyung: Open your door and I’ll show you.

Mae: Excuse me?

Taehyung: I’m coming up the elevator now. Open your front door.

Mae: Not until you say please.

Taehyung: I’m stepping out now. I watched Jin type in the code earlier. I could let myself in, wake Veronica and tell her you lied to her.

Mae threw the blankets off and jumped out of bed. As quickly and quietly as she could, she ran to the front door. When she opened it, she found a smiling Taehyung waiting for her.

“Please,” he whispered in her ear, walking past her to take off his shoes.

Mae followed behind him as he walked with confidence to her room. She quietly shut the bedroom door before hurrying around her bed and following him to the bathroom.

“I thought you knew where I put it?” Mae asked, watching him walk around with his hands behind his back.

“I do,” he answered smugly.

“Then where is it?”

Taehyung stopped next to the shower and sent Mae a smile.

“You know, I came in here between phone calls.” he said, stepping into the shower and grabbing one of the bottles. “This bottle wasn’t in here, it was over there, in the trash.” he pointed to the can in the corner of the room. “Now I don’t know how you…why the hell do you have one of these in your bathroom?” Taehyung asked, pulling a little ziplock baggie out of the empty shampoo bottle.

“It was on my desk. I picked it up before I ran in here,” Mae answered proudly. “Where are you going?”

“To look at the pictures,” he said, stopping in front of her, “I know you’re as curious as I am. Don’t worry, I brought my computer.”

“You did?”

Taehyung turned on her lamp and pointed at the bag he’d tossed on the bed. She was in such a hurry to follow him she didn’t even see that he had it on him.

“Are you going to join me?” he asked, making himself comfortable.

Mae watched Taehyung set up his computer. She was extremely curious about what was on there from that night, she’d planned on looking at them tomorrow when she was alone.

“Let’s see what other stupid things we did that night,” Mae said, joining him on the bed.

“Look how fast that’s going.”

“I know, I know. I need a new computer.” Mae rolled her eyes.

“Wait, why didn’t Veronica just take your computer to look at the pictures? They were downloaded.”

“She tried to after you guys left. But I refused to give her the password.”

“Before we start scrolling, is there anything on here that you don’t want me to see?” he asked, “I didn’t get a good look at all the pictures earlier.”

“You mean like nudes?”

“Yes, or anything else.”

“There’s no nudes Tae, I have no reason to take any.”

“Just checking,” Taehyung said, opening the folder.

The first thing he clicked on was a video someone took of them dancing at the Jazz club. They were clearly drunk, but still enjoying themselves.

The next video was of them getting married. The two of them watched it, still in disbelief that it was actually them standing there drunkenly saying their vows.

They both laughed as they looked at the hundreds of photos they’d taken. They even tried to figure out the blurry ones.

Taehyung hesitated when they came across the last video.

“Go ahead, Tae.”

“Are you sure? According to everyone else, it might be us having sex.”

“Yes, I’m sure. One if not both of us are going to end up watching it, so we might as well do it together,” Mae said, hitting the play button.

The video started with them talking and laughing as they walked up the long driveway to the house. Their laughter grew louder as Mae tried several times to put in the passcode for the door. The two of them doing a somewhat silent cheer when she’d finally succeeded.

The camera swayed as they stumbled through the house to the room they shared.

“You didn’t carry me over the threshold.” A drunk Mae said, setting her phone on the pillows.

“Well you didn’t kiss me at the chapel.”

“I’ll kiss you now if you’ll go back outside with me and carry me back in,” Mae said playfully.

“Deal,” Mae shrieked when Taehyung picked her up.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to carry you out and then carry you back in.”

“But that’s the patio door,” she laughed.

“You didn’t say which door.”

The sound of their laughter came through the speakers as Taehyung carried Mae outside and then back in.

“Better?” he asked, letting her down and closing the door.

“Yes, thank you,” Mae said, steadying herself and going back toward the bed.

“No you don’t,” Taehyung grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. “You owe me a kiss.”

Both of their eyes widened when Mae didn’t put up a fight. At first it was just a playful peck. But then it quickly turned into a heavy make out session. The phone moved when they landed on the bed in a fit of laughter.

Mae’s face turned red when her room filled with the sounds of moaning, kissing, and heavy breathing.

There was a thump sound followed by Mae saying “stupid phone” before the phone was moved and placed on the table.

Now all they could see was Taehyung’s back as the two of them went back to the now very heated makeout session.

“Tae, please. I need you.” Mae whined.

“Oh, God,” Mae said, looking at the screen.

“Fuck, Mae,” Taehyung said breathlessly, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that.”

“Please,” Mae moaned.

“God, I so badly want to. But I can’t. Not while we’re drunk,” his muffled voice said. “I want to remember the first time we made our dream come true.”

Before the video ended they watched a messy haired Taehyung let out a frustrated groan and got up from the bed, mumbling something about going to sleep on the couch because it was safer.

[squoxle]

mᥲkᥒᥲᥱ sᥙmmᥱr mᥲᥡһᥱm

𝓐 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝔀𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰.

✩✩𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘴✩✩

<<𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲>>

✩𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨：𝖬𝖺𝗄𝗇𝖺𝖾 𝖫𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 （𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾）

✩𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦：𝖳𝗁𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗋

✩𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵：1,405

✩ 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺： 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢, 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

“Y/N!! Hurry up! We’re gonna get stuck in traffic if we don’t head out now!” Jungwon yelled from the living room. “Tsk. Don’t rush her.” Sunoo said, giving Jungwon a soft push. “Even if we get stuck in traffic, it won’t last forever.” He continued. “Yea, I know but — “ "But nothing.” Niki exclaimed, cutting Jungwon off mid-sentence. “Everything is gonna be fine. Chill dude.”

You were doing a mental checklist of everything that you needed. “Toothbrush, swimsuit, sandals…oh, and pajamas.” You mumbled as you triple checked your suitcase. You could hear the three of them going back and forth in the living. You quickly zipped up your suitcase before rolling it out of the room. Jay was going to drive you guys to the resort, but Jungwon insisted on getting there himself. The only problem is that Jungwon just got his license a week ago and had never driven this far.

“Are you sure you got this?” Niki asked Jungwon as they packed the trunk. “Of course! Don’t you trust me?” “I do. It’s just…Jay has taken us on so many trips before. And you just got your driver’s license. Maybe you can drive next time?” “Niki…relax. I got this okay. No worries. Everything is gonna be just fine.” Jungwon reassured him before slamming the trunk shut. “Alright everyone! Let’s gooo!” Jungwon exclaimed as you all climbed into the truck. The truck was an 8-eight seater, but Niki folded the back row of seats down for more luggage space.

You sat in the front seat next to Jungwon, and Niki sat in the back with Sunoo. It was about 10 o’clock in the morning when you finally pulled off. You had a 6 hour drive ahead of you, and leaving this late could cost you a whole day. This was going to be a long ride, but hopefully everything goes well.

Niki had taken full control of the radio and was choosing all the music. Sunoo was busy either gazing out of the window, snapping scenic shots or taking an unhealthy amount of selfies. And Jungwon was sternly focused on the road, almost entirely zoned out. It had been about 45 minutes when Sunoo reached over to tap Jungwon on the shoulder. “Argh…What?” Jungwon snapped. “I need to use the bathroom…” Sunoo replied. “Seriously? Right now? I’m trying to get to the resort today. Can you hold it?” Jungwon pleaded. “I already did~” Sunoo whined. “Ugh. Fine.” Jungwon sighed. “But no more stops after this.”

Minutes later Jungwon pulled up to a run down looking gas station. It honestly looked completely abandoned. Some windows had wooden boards covering them. The sign was barely hanging above to the front of the building. Dust and cobwebs covered the gas pumps. Similar to something you would see in an apocalyptic world in a zombie movie. It looked like the slightest wind could blow the whole place down. “Oh, no way. No way am I using a bathroom here!” Sunoo complained. “This is the closest place, and you’re the one who said you couldn’t hold it any longer.” Jungwon replied. “But…it looks super creepy~” Sunoo whined as he threw his head back. “Well, I’m not stopping anywhere else. So either go or don’t. Your choice.” Jungwon was obviously fed up with Sunoo’s constant whining. So, Sunoo got out of the truck and walked towards the entrance.

30 minutes had passed and Sunoo still wasn’t back yet. Jungwon was pissed and you could tell. “He still hasn’t answered?” Jungwon said, deeply exhaling. “I’ve already tried 5 times.” Niki replied. “Ugh…let me try,” Jungwon said, pulling his phone out. “Huh?…there’s no signal out here…Niki can you go in and find him?” “Yea sure.” Niki said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Y/N, can you just stay right here? I need to walk for a minute.” Jungwon asked, ruffling his hair. “Of course.” You replied. He then walked away from the vehicle.

Niki walked into the creepy gas station. There was nobody there aside from an old man tucked in a corner. He was frail and possessed a soulless stare. His eyes followed Niki’s every move. “Excuse me, sir. Have you seen my friend? He has red hair, and he’s wearing a light blue shirt.” The man continued to stare at Niki. Not even saying a single word. A loud scream came from the direction of the bathrooms, which made Niki’s head turn. “Sunoo?!” Niki shouted. The screaming persisted, and Niki ran to find the source of the scream. He quickly made his way down a dimly lit hall before reaching the stall. “Sunoo?!” He shouted again. “NIKI HELP!” The stall was locked. Niki pushed and pulled on the door, but had no luck getting it open. “Sunoo! Open the door!” “I can’t. It’s locked! I tried calling, but my phone doesn’t work!” “Niki looked around for something to help him break the door down. However, he was unsuccessful in finding a suitable weapon. “AHHH! Niki, snakes just dropped from the ceiling!” “What?!! DAMMIT!” Niki kicked his the door with all of his force.

Jungwon was obviously unaware of all the chaos happening in the bathrooms. But he just needed a moment to clear his mind. He really wanted everything to go well. This was just very stressful for him. The need for perfection, but also pride. Jungwon wanted to prove that he could do it himself. Jungwon was deep in his thoughts and had once again completely zoned out. As he was walking through the tall grass, a putrid scent caught his attention. He was then aware of his surroundings and the sound of flies buzzing was too loud to ignore. He walked closer to the strong scent, covering his mouth with his sleeve. He peered through the grass and saw a person, dead and covered in snake bites. Parts of his flesh had been torn off and his eyes were poked out.

Jungwon didn’t know there were snakes out here. Remembering that he left you in the truck alone, he turned around and ran back to check on you.

As he was nearing the vehicle, he spotted Niki and Sunoo running out of the gas station. “Get in the truck!” Jungwon shouted. Luckily, Jungwon left the truck running, and you all sped off, leaving that nightmare behind.

The ride was uncomfortably quiet after that. “Is everyone okay?” Jungwon asked, breaking the silence. “Yea, we’re good.” Niki replied. Sunoo still was looking a bit shaken up, and you were just confused. The fear you felt was because you did not know what had happened back there. “What exactly happened?” You asked the group of boys. “Sunoo got locked in a bathroom. Then snakes fell from the holes in the ceiling and I had to break the door down...” Niki said. “I found a dead body covered in snake bites…” Jungwon added. The truck fell silent again. “This is not what I planned to do.” Jungwon continued. “How much longer to the resort?” Sunoo asked. “Umm…about an hour.” Jungwon replied. “Well then, let’s just forget about what happened at that gas station and try to enjoy the rest of our trip.” Sunoo said. His voice was much lighter than before. “You’re right, Sunoo. Let’s go out there and do what we came out here to do.” Niki chimed in.

The boys were either putting on a good front or they had really gotten over it quickly because the rest of the ride was filled with laughter and music. Even Jungwon had loosened up.

It wasn’t long before you all arrived at the resort. After unpacking the trunk, you all changed into your swimsuits and headed to the pool. “Hey guys! Glad you finally made it!” a voice shouted from behind. You all turned your heads to see Jay accompanied by Jake and Sunghoon. You were so glad to see them. “What are you guys doing here?” Niki asked. “We’ll we knew you guys were coming, and we wanted to surprise you.” Jake replied. “Are you surprised?” Sunghoon giggled, looking at Sunoo’s expression. You all hung out for the rest of the week before heading back home. Fortunately, the boys had found a way to laugh about the gas station incident, which helped them not to be so afraid of the memory.

This definitely was not what you had planned, but you enjoyed your time with them. A break was just what you needed.

[sapphic-lycan]

Girls, Goals, Giddy in love // Riley Anderson x Val Ortiz // Chapter 1, she said

*RILEY IS AGED UP. RILEY IS AGED UP. RILEY IS AGED UP!!! SHE'S 16 VAL IS FRESHLY 18!!! PLEASE.*

— — —

Admittedly Riley was terrified for tonight. This was going to be her first real outing with the Firehawks since Hockey Camp, nothing too crazy just a night drive and enjoying a little drink at a public park, but still a scary thing to jump into. Well, of course drinking was optional, an option Riley found herself unlikely to take given how her parents felt about her going out in the first place. Her mom would kill her, and her dad would be super disappointed… so drinking was completely off the table for her. But, on another hand, what if the hawks saw her as lame for not drinking? Some kind of buzz kill? What if say, Carmen, was to offer her a beer or something and give her that expecting look the goalie was known for dishing out. What if Dani offered her a like.. shot or something? What would she do? Would she be laughed at if she.- Riley shut her eyes and took a long, deep breath, her chest rising and falling as she forced those thoughts and the swelling burn of anxiety out of her head for now. The Hawks wouldn't be the type to make her drink. And, even if Dani or Carmen forced something on her, Val would of course shut them down, making sure that they knew the drinking wouldn't be the focus of the night. The night was supposed to be fun! A cool outing with the team, who she looked up to. Her team! She's a Hawk now! She wouldn't let her silly worries ruin that. No matter how many buzzed through her mind at any given time. 

She tugged her Firehawks jacket over her lanky arms and hummed as she looked at herself in the mirror, fixing a few fly-aways from her ponytail and giving herself a quick smell to make sure she didn't.. well stink in front of the team.. again.. She had showered already today, but that was an hour or two earlier and she was always worried about even the concept of smelling bad. As it would seem, she did have a little bit of an odor building up, so she was quick to apply an extra layer of deodorant and spray on a few spritzes of cheap perfume. She also pocketed said perfume, in case the girls decided to smoke. Her parents would literally wring her by the neck if she came home stinking of weed. So, better to be safe than grounded. She filled her pockets with a few other essentials, her wallet, keys, headphones, phone, charger (her dad had been on her ass about that one,) and.. she would bring her chapstick if her jean-bound inventory wasn't full already. Damn charger took up so much space, but it would be impractical to try and bring a bag to put said charger in. The van would be full already with the girls and their drinks, and she would not add to that stress. She set the chapstick back on her bedside table and hummed, running her fingers over the framed photo of herself and her two best friends, Bree and Grace, in their Foghorns uniforms and holding the championship trophy from their last game in middle school. She smiled as the memories of Grace scoring that final goal in the game flooded her senses with pride. God that felt like so long ago now, she hadn't texted them in a little while. Unintentional ghosting was definitely a bad habit of hers, but really she couldn't help it that she constantly forgot. She mentally scolded herself for not texting them before deciding on sending their group chat a little mirror selfie of her outfit. She flashed a braced smile and struck a goofy pose, chuckling to herself as she looked at it and wondered what text to pair with it.

“Going out with my girls tonight!” No, no that could make them feel excluded. She deleted what she typed and tried again, “First real Hawkout! I'll keep you guys updated.” No, they might not know what a Hawkout is. She deleted it again, debating even sending it at all, running her tongue over the bands on her braces as she thought. “Going out with the Firehawks tonight! I'll try not to get into any trouble.” There. Playful banter, enough information to make sense, and an open ending to allow for more conversation. Perfect. She hit send.

— — —

After texting the groupchat for a bit longer, she heard the loud blare of a car horn and rushed outside. She winced at the sound, knowing that it would likely piss off her neighbors and might have woken up a napping baby or two nearby. Her parents were out at the store, lucky for Riley, and said she could go out as long as she was back by eleven. Of course, with the Hawks she genuinely didn't know if they'd actually get her back by eleven but… that didn't matter right now. It's party time! 

Riley waved at the car as she rushed up to it, Val poking her head out the side as she waved to the blonde with a little smirk. The sight of her tan, toned skin in the dim evening light made Riley’s heart flutter in her chest as she waved back. Riley and Val, though not what Riley would consider close, were friends. Val always stood up for her, on and off the ice, and never let anyone older or more bold than Riley shove her around. For a more lean girl, Val got in a lot of fights on Riley's behalf, and Riley would always be grateful for her. That, and the little crush she’d had on her Capitan since hockey camp but… she tried to ignore those flutters any time they came up. 

In the driver's seat, though the van was Dani’s, sat Ayesha, who had her hijab perfectly straightened and makeup perfectly minimal chic as usual. Riley and Ayesha rarely talked, due to her being the more soft antisocial girl of the group,but there have been times where Ayesha offered Riley snacks and water when she forgot. She was also, more often than not,  the team’s designated driver, which explained her current spot in the van, which Riley really liked about her. Ayesha was the responsible one. Behind Ayesha was Carmen, the team's resident hot-headed and Ayesha’s on-again off-again girlfriend, cramped in with her knees to her damn chest because she was so tall. She didn't seem to mind though, and she tossed a little half-smile to Riley as she got in the car. Carmen was mean, all things considered, and has had to be put in her place a time or two by Val for being an ass to Riley in her freshman year. She tended to cool down when she was with Ayesha, though, which she was. At least this week. Which Riley considered a blessing, but she had no idea how Ayesha standed her.

Sitting in the back row was Dani, who was chiefing off her vape like nobody's business and trying to blow rings, Ally, who was attempting to swipe said vape from Dani and whining “give me a hiiiiit!” as the other held it from her reach, and an ungodly tall stack of bags. Dani tended to be the most rowdy of the Firehawks, talking shit, starting shit, and getting her shit wrecked were her three favorite hobbies. She liked to go out, got the most drunk, and often had to be dragged back home when the time came. Riley and her were cool, again after Val had to knock some sense into her for pushing Riley too hard, but now the rambunctious teen was one of her closest friends. Ally though, Ally was Riley's cousin and probably who she was the closest to on the team. They were a lot like her, though making up for her anxiety by being more extroverted and often being the more charismatic of the duo. Ally could talk her way out of anything, even Juvie once. 

Ally leaned back on the bags when the vape was once more pulled from her grasp, flipping the other off as she watched Dani blow more smoke onto the Van’s ceiling. Riley assumed that's where the booze was, but was confused when she noted the other girl’s backpacks in the pile. Did they come from practice or something? Wait, no that's not right, they couldn't have, it's Friday. Maybe they had plans after this? Without her? No, no they'd include her in everything. She's a Firehawk now, she'd be invited to stuff like that. Right..?

“Buckle up, Michigan,” Val called from the front seat, her pointer finger tapping her hand on the battered arm rest twice to gain the attention of her team. God Riley was so frustrated she was stuck with that nickname now, even after telling her team she's from Minnesota and not Michigan, they never let her live it down. The ruckus in the back died down almost immediately, which not only helped Riley relax a bit as she sunk into her seat and clicked on the seatbelt, but also made her look at Val in awe. Riley had no real idea how, but the whole team respected Ortiz even off the ice. Even in just little hangouts, much to Carmen’s usually vocal annoyance, she was the leader. 

“We got three hours to kill before we drop Anderson off at home and head to Ally’s place,” Val said with a little hum, which did unfortunately confirm the rest of the group had plans without her, “then we have the next two days okay?” The next two days? 

“The next two days for what?” Riley asked, a mixture of nervousness and intrigue in her voice. Dani happily hollered, putting a hand on Riley’s chair from behind with a loud slap before she spoke, “two days to party, man! Ally's folks are gone so we're throwing a rager at hers.” Oh, a party. A party Riley wasn't invited to. A party with the older team members, and probably other juniors and seniors, where they'd be drinking and smoking and blasting music and… whatever else teens do at parties. She'd only ever seen them in the movies. And yet, though this sort of thing was something she'd probably never attend normally, she was a bit disappointed she wasn't invited. 

“It's not going to be a rager Dan,” Val said with a little dismissive wave, “it's gonna be a two day long sleepover with the girls and a fuck ton of alcohol and maybe some m-j, but that's it. No inviting the whole class, no trashing Ally’s place, and definitely no hard stuff.” Riley wasn't sure what hard stuff entailed, but the way the rejection made Dani shrink back into her seat with a loud groan made Riley unsure if she wanted to find out. Dani grumped a bit, to which Ally giggled, before leaning over her to speak. “Is Andersen coming?” She asked, her tone sounding a little hopeful, which made Riley smile a bit. She was wanted after all. “I dunno, Andersen’s parents are hella strict,” Val replied, leaning around her seat to make eye contact with Riley, those gorgeous amber eyes sending shivers up the other girl’s spine, “that and she's a little.. good. Y'know? Would you even want to do something like that?” 

Would Riley want to do something like that? No. Yes? Maybe??? It would be so cool to hang out with the Hawks for the whole weekend, but her parents would never agree to it. And what if she ended up drinking or something? Or getting in trouble? But god the Hawks were so cool and they might like her better if she did. But if she didn't go with them, what if they didn't wanna hang out with her anymore? But her parents would kill her, she was so torn yet, 

“Sure.” Riley said as cool as possible, reaching for her phone to text her parents about it before shutting it off and shoving it in her bag. Plausible deniability if they said no, which she knew wouldn't work but was better than leaving her parents rejection on seen. This was probably a horrible, terrible idea, but when was she gonna get an opportunity like this again? An opportunity to hang out like this with the Firehawks, an opportunity to hang out like this with Val Ortiz??? “Okay, cool. But uh, what about clothes? You didn't bring any,” Carmen chipped in, raising an eyebrow at the sudden spontaneousness of the younger teen, who simply shrugged and replied, “I can borrow some of Ally’s. We're cousins after all, it's cool.” “Yeah, it's cool,” Ally chimed in with a wide, mischievous grin, earning a shrug from Carmen. Riley always knew she could count on Ally in times like this, especially given the fact that the sleepover was at her house. Riley felt a lot more comfortable there than anywhere else. Riley had stayed over at Ally’s countless times since they met and their moms rekindled, so at the very least Riley was safe. 

“Well, I guess Anderson is coming,” Val spoke with a cool shrug, her arms relaxing on the rests at her sides as she faced forward, speaking once more with a click of her tongue. “Just know there's no pressure to drink or smoke or anything,” her eyes darted to Dani, who simply put her hands up and snickered as she continued, “you've got nobody to impress.” “I'm probably gonna end up scrubbing puke out of my carpet again, so as long as you can do better than that,” Ally butt in, chuckling as Dani let out an offended gasp at the obvious slight, her hand reaching to swipe the vape and finally take her long awaited hit. Riley laughed a little at the two's bickering, leaning back in her seat and humming along with the music Sophie had now turned up so she could focus. Was she nervous about the sleepover? Obviously. But hell she was excited for it. 

— — —

[lanternburning19]

The Alchemy

Many listeners note that the track The Alchemy stands out in the album and disrupts the theming. However, I think that the song stands out on purpose. The Alchemy serves as a point of contrast. Taylor spent the last 14 songs talking about how sad she feels that she was treated awfully by people in her life, and The Alchemy explores surrounding yourself with people who bring happiness and fun and light. Taylor spent the last 14 tracks taking about the state of her mental health crumbling, and in The Alchemy she sings “What if I told you I’m back/ The hospital was a drag/ worst sleep that I ever had.” Taylor is finally breaking out of the asylum imagery evoked in songs like Fortnight and Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me. She got all of the sadness out of her system, and she’s ready to move on. 

Another notable lyric in The Alchemy is in the bridge of the song. “Where’s the trophy/ He just comes running over to me.” This evokes imagery of a champion who doesn’t march up the first place platform to grab a trophy, but instead runs in the opposite direction towards the stands to celebrate with the people they love. This line is a direct contrast to the entire song My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys and the lines in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived “In public showed me off/ than sank in stoned oblivion.” Taylor is not a prize to be won, bragged about, and then discarded. She wants a relationship where she is treated better than that. The subject of The Alchemy sees Taylor as more important than bragging rights or a trophy. 

And as a Swiftie, I can connect this line to my own experiences in the fandom. I’ve seen over and over again how die-hard fans spend all of their energy trying to get Taylor’s attention and once they meet her, or take a selfie with her, or get invited to a secret session, they do a 180 and turn into a hater. It’s like they’ve reached level 100 in a video game and don’t see the point of playing anymore. Even Taylor’s own fandom treats her like an object to be won and then trashed. And this links back to the bigger theme of the album - People do not treat Taylor like a human being. But the person in The Alchemy does. If The Tortured Poets Department album is shades of greige, then The Alchemy is a glimmer of gold. 

[purplesurveys]

1930

1.) What was the last strong scent you smelled? The essential oil I currently have for my reed diffuser.

2.) When was the last time you changed your outfit? This morning. I'll change before heading to bed, which I'll do after this. I really need to sleep; it's nearing 2 AM on a Monday.

3.) What did you buy the last time you went shopping for new clothes? Concert outfit for Seventeen back in January. I'm not a big clothes shopper.

4.) What is your favorite meal of the day? Dinner.

5.) Do you typically eat breakfast or skip it? Skip. Unless coffee counts, because I have that everyday.

6.) What was the last thing you took a picture of? A pissed off reaction selfie I took immediately after finishing Gyeongseong Creature 2 (credits weren't even done rolling yet hah).

I spent THE ENTIRE!!!!!!! evening watching it as I was desperate to see what would happen, but the whole season's pacing was so off and there was barely a payoff in the finale...so I took that selfie with the 5 AM blue sky as my background to let everyone know I put in That Much Time for a season that ended up sucking lol

7.) Do you have a collection of anything? BTS merch and bucket hats.

8.) What was the last thing you threw away? The can of coffee I finished.

9.) What is the cause of your current emotional state? The fact that I'm going back to work that I dread in less than 8 hours.

10.) What were the last plans you made? How about cancelled? Last plan I made was to resign, which I announced to my bosses last Tuesday. Last I cancelled was my initial plan to take the dogs to the vet earlier today, because when I checked their booklet it turned out I didn't need to take them til end of the month. I had no idea why I thought they were due today hahaha.

11.) How did you discover your favorite band? They were very huge when I was in Grade 3 and all the cool kids seemed to like them (Paramore).

12.) Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Only if it's hot. I get cranky when it's hot and humid and there's no sign of aircon anywhere, and especially so if I haven't eaten.

13.) When are you most likely to be bored? Usually in the afternoon, from around 2-5 PM. Even at work, I get very restless during those hours because I want the day to be done with already.

14.) What was the last big decision you made? Resigning for good. There's a part of me that still thinks it was such a rash, impulsive, barely-thought-of decision to make...but September hit me like a 16 wheeler when it came to my mental health.

I really need to rest. But also, let's hope I find a new place to work in soon :)

15.) Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Vietnam! Saigon and Da Nang. I shopped more than I'd like to admit; walked, walked, and walked; simultaneously celebrated Jin's military discharge; drank a lot of coffee; discovered and fell in love with bánh tráng nướng (I still look for it...); took lots of photos.

16.) What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? Not much. I'm not a big shopper unless I'm traveling, in which case I like getting local knickknacks and snacks.

17.) How organized are you? I'd say a 7/10. I'm fairly organized, but I do have the tendency to lose track.

18.) What were the positives and negatives of your last week? Positives: I informally filed my resignation. I also...just survived.

Negative: I woke up every day of the week, save for the weekend, with a crushing weight on my chest.

19.) If applicable, how did you decide what you wanted to study in college/university? I liked to write and was good at it, and I've always enjoyed watching documentaries. It seemed like the obvious choice to make. I also came from a family of writers and lawyers, and I just wanted to continue the practice, albeit through an adjacent route.

20.) What was the last thing you received in the mail? Shopee orders but they were both for my sister lol.

21.) What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? Travel to the US alone.

22.) When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? No clue. High school, maybe?

23.) Who was the last person to upset you? How about the last person to cheer you up? Upset would be someone related to my work. Cheer up...Namjoon.

24.) Is there anything or anyone you’re trying to get over or let go of? Yes. My current job.

25.) What was the subject of your last phone conversation? My grandma let me know she made me laing and asked me to come over to pick it up when I can. Apparently my mom asked her to make it...I'm guessing she did so because I recently shared with her my work troubles, and it's her way of helping me feel better. In any case, and whether my theory is right or wrong, the gesture is appreciated.

26.) What are your plans for tomorrow? How about the weekend? Tomorrow I need to work. I'm also working on the weekend. Both days.

27.) When was the last time you were sick? Sometime last month I threw up like 101% the contents of my stomach from food poisoning.

28.) How close do you have to be with someone before you’ll consider them a friend? If I feel comfortable approaching them first and share with them stupid stuff like memes.

29.) What did the last jacket you wore look like? Green and with the right sleeve decorated to look like the Philippine flag. It's a jacket I was given by one of the brands I handle; and we usually have to have it on during our more formal events like contract signings so that we can also be 'in-attire' and look the part as their PR reps.

30.) Name five things you can grab from where you’re sitting. Vape pen, Oatside coffee, phone, a BTS frame, highlighters.

[kapanbenernya]

I wish I took More Photos

As the title suggested, I wish I took more photos. Of me. And my friends. And the things we went through.

No, this isn't some surge of unforeseen narcissitic feeling. Lemme explain to you:

The year was 2009. The hottest artist was the Black Eyed Peas, the latest iPhone was the 3G, and phones cameras are starting to make great leaps in terms of quality. What used to cost a fortune in cameras and films is now free, ubiquitous, and can be carried everywhere in our pocket in the same space as our phone. Because our camera IS our phone.

Hell almost all phones had cameras by that time, even the shitty ones

The idea of the camera phone was something they tried to bank on. They went pretty fucking crazy with it. From phones that can rotate to finally inventing the front camera. And yes you read that right, front cameras wasn't a fucking thing back then. All we had is a little square mirror thing that --theoretically--one can use to estimate the result of the picture.

And with the rise of the phone camera quality and quantity, came the effect it had on the people taking it.

You have people doing the duck face in front of mirrors shot with the flash on, guaranteeing the absolute fucking shittiest pictures ever. Ever saw the meme where a girl went to the McDonald's toilet and took 300 pictures? That was a real thing. And they'd post ALL 300 to their facebook profile. I am dead fucking serious, I lived this shit. Taking pictures went from something deliberate and special into something that's cheap and meaningless. I was disillusioned by how mundane taking pictures had become that I actively avoided it out of second-hand shame. This extended to when people asked for a group picture, whether it be friends or family. I would always refuse because I thought the act of taking a photo is just inane. Never have I thought that in my later years, I would come to regret it.

Looking back through social media and picture albums I realized how little pictures I had of some era of my life. I still have the memories, but most of them has become fuzzy. I have nothing concrete that I can look at to remind me of the things I've done, places I've been, and the people I loved. And not just vacation pics or sleepover stuff, this included important pictures like my college graduation, school reunion, etc.

It wasn't until I'm nearing my 30s that I started participating in family and friend's group pictures, and I believe it was already too late by then. We're now taking less family trips, my friends are now working adults and have less time to hangout, hell some of 'em are even married and virtually chained to their toddlers.

I still have "mental scars" from the old days when I am strongly against having my picture taken. To this day, I still feel very uncomfortable taking a selfie. I am also still against having a picture taken of me without a group, which have led to missing some memories from when I had a duo trip to Japan with my brother. I think I'm gonna scrounge what little pictures my friends took of me from Facebook and start my own photo album. I fear that one day I will just have a book full of photographs but the memory gone; reducing it to but a meaningless picture. But I guess it's still a better alternative than losing both.

16/8/2024

[roomwithnodoors]

I have stopped, finally, feeling guilty for the single pleasures in my life. I am trying to stop feeling ashamed for doing and enjoying what makes me happy and being selfish with my time. Yes, I will spend 1.5 hrs in the bath at 5am while my children sleep, yes I will get in and out and get fresh coffee and back in with some hot water exchange and refresh my bath and fucking enjoy it. Fully. Small simple guilt ridden shame ruined pleasure. Yes I will take selfies again. Maybe many. I will feel pride in my soul body and appearance I will shove all my self love up for every one to see I will not feel scared to be complimented will not be shamed or blamed for being admired I will make and keep a slow and enjoyable skin care and take my time reading books with my children. I will take them places to enjoy it themselves and be enjoyed in their wholesome being. I will take my time with each of them and enjoy being around them for them. I will not be bullied for attention by your jealousy of them. I will be whole. I will be happy. I will give them what they need and want and it will be fulfilling and not draining. I have been married and it has just drained me of everything I am allowing me to deplete myself for the sake of our home and children. My greatest joy become my greater burden as I beg for you to help me save me reach for me because I am drowning. Years of you ignoring my plea only to shame me and laugh in my face. You who makes everyone see the perfect husband. The best man. Look how he works. Look how he doesn't leave. Look how he doesn't hit anyone. The emotional and mental torture of the last year and a half are far worse and now.....now I fear the physical side is coming. I fled the house for a week before you reached reality again

I just need a fucking friend someone to go out and let go with whatever man but all I have is her and as far as we have come....I don't think I'll ever truly forgive her. Trust her. And more so she is happy in her misery. I want to grow so badly.

[kiss2012]

finale thoughts

im done making excuses for this kim and marisol plotline it’s so dumb. they did the marisol break-up off-screen so idk why she had to be here this season at all.

devin kelly deserved better than this…she did the best with what she could but this never should’ve happened at all i can think of a thousand different ways to have done this. we didn’t even get any more shannon flashbacks. we could have seen how they met or gotten flashbacks of her life separate from eddie…

buck and eddie scene is so crazy. and i can’t believe buck didn’t even get the chance to go in and talk to chris THAT MAKES ME SO SICK also thinking about how he chose to call his grandparents instead of buck this time. and it’s like. i think it’s partly because he knew they’d take his side over eddie’s, and he thought buck would take eddie’s side

at least eddie looks beautiful.

what goes on through his brain tho 😭 the happy selfie with kim???? while he was mentally going through it?????

I LOVE HEN AND IM SAD ABOUT MARA

fuck off i hate this athena plotline. u know what if it had been amir he’d be justified. like angela bassett is slaying but yikes.

ohhhh but athena bringing back her past and how she’s connected to amir is good

MADDIE HAN 🩷 i did think they would both hyphenate maddie and chimney buckley-han but since we have jee buckley-han i love this <3

the cartel thing is dumb i can’t believe they got rid of the grant-nash family home (hugely important thing for bobby and athena) and the culprit is the cartel 🙄

girl bobby’s awake already??? he was barely in a coma i expected more from this???

i don’t care about tommy’s daddy issues or lack thereof.

fear im becoming a tommy hater actually. i liked him in 7x03, was fine with him in 7x04-7x05, was not a big fan in 7x06, was even less of a fan in 7x09, but now im actively annoyed…

the daddy kink scene???? 😭 made me cringe tbh. respect to those of you who feel like you’re winning but in my book this is out-of-place and out-of-pocket for the moment buck was trying to share something. genuine and heartfelt. and tommy. was there. and said that. ok. they also had no chemistry in that scene. sorry.

omg im SO MAD about this eddie plotline

MAY 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank god you’re here. and im so glad harry’s here too. this was a good scene.

buck christopher scene this is not a drill….

don’t think i would call helena and ramon “awesome grandparents” but ok buck.

EDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want to bang my head into the wall why couldn’t they have just said “for the summer” he’s staying with his grandparents “for the summer” WHY DID THEY DO THIS

he could have stayed with pepa??

why did they bring back abuela for the wedding and not for this??

not a single carla mention huh

trying to convince myself that chris going to texas is the 911 version of rory staying with her grandparents in gilmore girls season 6 and like that storyline it will be terrible to watch but in a compelling way because eventually they reunite and everything’s great

but this isn’t helping to console me cause the two situations are different and the 911 one DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN AND IM MAD

madney taking mara in is the sweetest

i love amir

ok but can bobby please say he also admires amir and that amir should get to build a life also????

ravi <33333333

why did they bring back gerard that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard it makes no logical sense that man should be dead or retired by now

well. i wouldn’t really hate this episode if not for the eddie stuff as that makes me blind with rage (and if they had just said FOR THE SUMMER it would’ve been a tiny bit better). the bathena stuff had its highs and lows mostly lows. don’t appreciate how amir was treated for this storyline. madney slayed. mara didn’t deserve this and neither did henren or denny. buck’s stuff was…ok i guess….his scenes with christopher and eddie and the 118 were great his scene with tommy was bad he for some reason did not get one single moment in bobby’s room??? no one did??? we got one shot of eddie reading from the prayer book and not even the scene??

bad finale. terrible finale. it’s going to the very bottom of my ranking even below s1 and s6.

hm i need to take a moment to reflect. do i regret this month and a half long obsession with 911 now. i dont. but i do wish half of my month hadn’t been devoted to me being unable to stop thinking about the next ep and the next ep

like if i had known this was the endgame i don’t think i would have obsessively watched as much as i did. maybe i would’ve been able to focus on other things for more than an hour at a time

however before i was like Oh My God How Will I Survive The Hiatus and now at least im like yeah im done now peace out going to watch all the vids and fics i have saved and then i will have moved on

im also funnily enough still halfway through a rewatch LOL. which i think i will complete because i am just watching fave eps/skipping what idc about. so. now to go back to season 3. and to an actually good eddie plotline (eddie begins)

[cythoughtsnmemories]

16.07.23

Fun JB trip w cousins last wkend. 1st time trying eyelash extension and go kart. Also enjoyed shopping and eating seafood dinner!

Settled ur sis line to under her name on Mon and there goes my leave day. Did some work at night cos work is waiting for me to clear by next day. Why do I feel like everytime I take leave at d wrong timing. Wanted to cook rice and turned out to be porridge. Haizz

Next day, wfh...shit bad day! Mentor spotted mistake and luckily she help to inform finance to stop the payment. Another manager informed me of under payment for a staff. Sup who is on holiday emailed me on those errors. And other shit too~ I just got so paranoid and hate myself.

Learned not to rush my work. Accuracy is more important than speed. Felt really bad about it. Got to earn back managers and colleagues trust again.

Grateful hubby tries to comfort me. Next day at work. Not sure if mentor shared w other colleagues in our team to help me out. A colleague ask if I'm okay. Another volunteer to confirm when my manger ask me sth...maybe I sounded unsure.

Finally wkend! Looking forward to it so much. Felt so mentally drained. Excited to go hubby hse to stayover and going out w him.

Brought the ingredients for army stew over...so heavy! Went to collect getgo car w hubby but the car seems to be faulty so he requested for refund. Cab down to the service centre for the electric stove and got it fix on the spot. Hmm, the $ cab down to fix...Worth it meh? Anw, hubby so effort in finding lunch place. We had sourdough pizza but I still prefer GoldonRoy pizza. Saw this weird deco at this landed hse.

Next stop, we bought sourdough donut before hubby drive us back home. 1 selfie w my eyelashe extension.

Cooked army stew for his fam. MIL made toast bread cos we have leftover cheese.

Monday blues~