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aiekerman · 3 years

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Kageyama x reader

WC: 1.2k

Hi, hello, I haven't posted anything in a lifetime but I'm trying to get my writing life back together. I wrote this forever ago when I was in the middle of my dissertation and I figure why not post it now lol?

Hopefully this isn't a one time thing and I can actually be somewhat consistent lol enjoy whatever this is.

Kageyama’s eyes didn’t move from the volleyball game playing on the screen in front of him. It was his own actually, from the week previous, his eyes scrutinising over his own sets and serves for minute mistakes he would correct before the next match.

Blue eyes stayed trained on his own form as he heard the shuffle of approaching feet. However, a smirk toyed at the edge of his lips as he awaited the flop of your body across his on the sofa that no doubt would come.

To his surprise a pair of sweater paws wound around his shoulders from behind, a hood covered head burrowing into his neck instead. His lips pulled into a smile at the huff of tiredness pulled from your lips after situating yourself.

His hand which has been spinning the remote around let it drop it favour of sliding under the hoodie and into your hair, scratching lightly and once again pulling a frustrated noise out of you. ‘Hey pretty girl,’ he finally whispered, his head leaning into yours.

After a moment you lifted your own to perch your chin on his shoulder, looking at his side profile as it still watched the TV. ‘Hey pretty boy,’ you sighed out ‘what ya doing?’

‘Just going over my game from last week.’ At his words your head turned from the real thing to the image of him on the screen, your eyes lighting up just as they did every time you watched him play.

‘You won that game in straight sets. Why do you need to go over it?’

Kageyama once again can’t help the smile on his face as you recount his result. Pride filling his chest that you remembered how all his games played out.

‘You already have a bachelors, why do you need a masters?’ At that you side eye him at the mention of your degree, the exact source of your original frustrated sounds when you first arrived in the living room.

You knew the answer was the same for each question. And he did too, having parroted the words to each other many times before. “Cause I love what I do. And I wanna do better.”

However, instead of replying with those words you dug your head back into his shoulder and whined out ‘I’m not getting a masters. It’s stupid anyway.’

This finally drew Tobio’s eyes to you. One eyebrow raised, the hand in your hair now pulled out to tug at the hoodie, lifting your head to meet his gaze.

Blue eyes looked across your face, noting the tiredness lurking and the pout pulled across your lip. You were two months from obtaining your newest degree and clearly crunch time was getting to you. His memory flickered back on the recent nights that he’d return to your shared apartment after late practice and find the light in your office still on. Your insistence that you’d join him in bed soon.

You’d been living at that desk, and he was doing his best to be supportive, supplying and restraining caffeine in your best interest. Stumbling from the bedroom at two am when he��d woken up alone and found you curled up on your desk chair, sighing before tucking his hands under you and carrying you back to bed.

His own lips curled into a pout, his hand sliding to run a thumb across your cheek. His heart warmed at the way you immediately leaned into his touch a whispered ‘c’mere’ before he’s reaching for your hand to pull you round the couch and onto his lap. Immediately his hands settle on your waist, running up and down your sides, encouraging you to relax against him.

Draping your arms around his neck your eyes drift back to the TV, breath catching in your chest and eyes widening as you see him score a service ace. He chuckles upon noticing and you roll your eyes and poke at the back of his neck.

‘How many years have you been watching me do that?

‘Do you want me to get bored of it?’

He hums lowly and mumbles out a ‘never’ before leaning forward to press a firm kiss against your cheek. Now was his turn to admire your profile as you took in the volleyball game which you had already attended in person.

Once again his chest swelled with pride as a smile began growing over the pout you once held. The fact that watching him made you that happy, that you cared so much about his passion. He did his best to mirror your enthusiasm when it came to your degree, but Kageyama was never one for academics and his head gets frazzled as you go on about the complex ideas and classes you were working through. Watching your eyes light up with excitement for it was enough to keep listening, trying his hardest to keep up.

His eyebrows furrow as his brain starts working, how could he help your stress? You were constantly supporting him, making sure you had all the right foods stocked that the team trainer instructed them to eat. At any and every game you could make it to, always in tune with his mood and what he needed if he ever lost a match.

Of course his was supportive too. But this was a big point for you, he felt something stir in his stomach that told him ordering takeout wasn’t gonna cut it tonight. Glancing down at the watch on his wrist, a gift from you when he’d signed his contract with the Adlers, he starts planning in his head.

Kageyama learned pretty early in your relationship that he was actually okay at sweet gestures so long as he didn’t over think it too hard. After your first date back in second year of high school he’d gotten nervous about how to approach you after that he essentially avoided you for two weeks. Only realising what he was doing when Yachi cursed him out for not talking to you.

So now, five years on he doesn’t overthink it. Giving a light pat to your thigh, drawing your attention from the TV and giving him a smile. ‘Go jump in the shower, babe.’

At his words your smile drops, ‘I know I’ve been sweats all day but I don’t smell that bad do I?’ Kageyama tilts his head, screws his eyes shut for a second then looks back at you with determination in his blue irises.

‘I’m taking you out.’

You perk up at his words, eyebrows raising and smile returning quick as it left, ‘really?’

‘Yeah, wear that black dress with the flowers.’

Your stomach does a flip as excitement grows, it had been almost a month since you’d had a proper date night. Wrapped up in nothing in but sweatshirts and pyjama bottoms while working through your thesis you hadn’t dressed up in what felt like forever.

Your cheeks heat up a little at Kageyama’s words and you silently lean forward and press your mouth to his. His hand instinctively wraps around the back of your neck as he returns the kiss, the other resting gently against your thigh.

He pulls away first, smiling as you chase after his lips for more. He chuckles, ‘Go get ready, idiot.’

You let out a tiny squeal before giving one last kiss to his cheek before leaping up and almost sprinting to the shower to get ready.

He watches you go for a second, eyes full of love, before he grabs his phone to call up for a reservation at your favourite restaurant. His instincts for making you happy take him pretty far.

#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #haikyuu x reader

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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years

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Fun Fact!

I've gone through and edited all of my Gender Neutral and Male Reader fics! I've tried to remove any mention of skin coloration and general grammatical/formatting mistakes. I've also added to many of them!

I've posted them below the cut just to make you click a few links less, but they are also on my Masterlist. If you feel so inclined, let me know what you think 🤗

Fluff (Gender Neutral!Reader)

Bedtime Stories on the Jet: Spencer and you share the jet couch.

Drunk Dial: It’s been years since Reader talked to Spencer, but after a bunch of drinks it seems like a really good idea.

Appalachian: Reader is tired of Spencer purposefully pushing their buttons and demands an explanation.

Style Theory: Fashion student Reader meets their favorite scholar and teaches him a lesson in self-love.

Play Dates: Reader finds out Spencer hasn’t had enough dates to play Best/Worst Date with the team and offers several Play Dates, but quickly realizes it’s hard to have a bad date with Spencer Reid.

It’s Personal: Reader reminds Spencer’s team that it’s never appropriate to ask someone for their age, even if they’re dating their coworker.

Pipsqueak: The only thing shorter than Reader is their patience.

Fragile: Disabled!Reader. Spencer has to stay behind on a case and gets to know the new technical analyst.

The Perfect Plan: Reader has a question for Spencer, but things don’t go according to plan.

Homemade: Stuck in quarantine, Reader decides to make some skincare masks with their boyfriend. They talk about some heavy stuff with green faces.

Battle of the Houses: Reid accidentally gets trapped in a Hogwarts House War with Reader, Jack, and Henry.

Pair of Aces: It’s Pride month at the BAU and Reader finally decides to share something with the team.

All Mixed Up: Dyslexic!Reader struggles to order at the restaurant, so Spencer helps them through it.

Anticipation (Blurb): Spencer gives Reader their first kiss.

Birthday Wish (Blurb): Spencer is sad he can’t reach you on his birthday.

Screen (Blurb): Spencer wears his heart in many places.

Favorite Person (Blurb): Reader just needs a little extra reassurance sometimes.

Strawberry Mentos (Blurb): Spencer and Reader share sweets and something else.

Adagio (Blurb): Post-Prison Spencer learns to take things slow.

Fluff (Male!Reader)

Bi the Way: Morgan learns something very interesting about Reid after he leaves his bag at his significant other’s house.

Pretty Boy: Spencer thinks you’re just the bully who likes to pull his pigtails.

Happy Hydrangea: TransMan!Reader. JJ is corrected in finding out Spencer has had a boyfriend for a while now.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid x gender neutral reader

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lunawings · 3 years

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Joji’s Birthday PriZoom (9/15/21)

Translation of the bonus content is in a seperate post again.

So yeah I never actually fell asleep after the showing haha. Was just lying in bed playing Love Live when I thought well... I got a good 4-5 hours of sleep in before the showing (better than literally nothing like last time)... If I’m gonna be awake I might as well start this while my emotions are raw so I rolled out of bed and wrote most of the below rambly mess.

And then I went to work. Which was kind of surreal. Because for a few hours my brain really was back in Japan again. There was something just a little magic about this showing I think. A lot of things came together (starting with how talkative people actually were during Pride the Hero! Ahh!) etc.

B... ut.....

I guess I’ll get this out of the way first. I was super heartbroken at the low turnout for this one. Only 65-85 people in the cheering room... But it was a weekday, sooo... I’m just going to hope that a lot of people bought the archive tickets to check it out later.... Yes... I have decided that is the case.............

The people who did, however, missed out on the cheering room and thus missed out the latest incident to enter my personal list of all-time favorite moments in this fandom. After Joji’s episode in SSS Part 2 we had some “technical difficulties”... (I put that in quotes because I somewhat doubt it was technical difficulties. I mean, the stream cut out cleanly RIGHT at the end of Joji’s episode. So I wonder if maybe someone just forgot about Minato’s episode and shut it off early hahaha...) and while we were waiting for them to restart the movie there was a long period of silence and a black screen. But us in the cheering room could all still hear each other. .....And someone started singing Brilliant Oath.

It was PERFECT. These are the moments I live for! This is why I’ve been to like over 100 cheering shows and I still KEEP GOING! I love this fandom! It may not have made the archive since the cheering wasn’t recorded for that but it will live on in our hearts.

Anyway...

I guess one bonus to having less people this time was that I actually managed to keep on the soundboard hell... the ENTIRE... TIME!! Although at a low volume. And honestly... I more or less completely stopped hearing it at one point I think haha. So... that kinda defeats the purpose I suppose. Actually no, even if it was just static background noise it was still nice to have on in SSS, which would have been pretty quiet without it. And it was worth it just for the one person who was like SHISHOOOO during one scene in Pride the Hero when Jin was going crazy hahaha (AH! When was it? I don’t remember now...). I also tuned in for a bit in episode 6 and loved when Minato’s sister says her age incorrectly everyone was like EIIIGHT (...that’s not correct either hahah....)

Since I knew this was going to be archived I tried bring my cheering A game to Pride the Hero with moderate success. Kinda mad at myself for missing stupid small things probably no one would care/look for I mean my camera is shit anyway (BUT I--). I’m just lucky it wasn’t way worse because Pride the Hero I can mostly run on autopilot. Out of all King of Prism media, it’s probably the one I’ve cheered the most (I mean it was all we had in theaters for literally like two years), and it was fresh in my mind from Minato’s showing too. So even with how exhausted I was, I made it through! (Then proceeded to take micro power naps on the floor during episodes 4 and 6.......) I also kinda wish I’d changed my background earlier. The show started before I got around to changing it and I was like I’ll change it during a break (........Pride the Hero has no breaks........) haha but yeah. I had Okayama station up from the Prism King Cup onward and the Momotaro mailbox up during SSS. The real background MVP though is the person who appeared to have up the bench in rural Okayama where Joji made his promise to Miyo!? I mean it looked kinda different because it wasn’t on a bridge but that HAD to be it, right!? (!!!??)

Also cosplay at this showing was amazing! We had like 3-4 Miyos, 2 Aces, KOKORO!? (and Taiga. Because who are we kidding there’s always a Taiga)

Also shoutout to the girl who cosplayed as... the PIECE OF CLOTH Joji sewed for Miyo!? (I think she was at both showings but I didn’t fully realize what she was supposed to be until the Playback Allstars at the very end hahah...)

And shoutout to the Ace cosplayer “singing” during all of Joji’s performances haha!!

And the person spinning in an office chair whenever any character was twirling around...

But BIGGEST shoutout to our own @takadanobaba who was somehow THE ONLY Joji cosplayer in the cheering room!? (The only overall for the first show, but another joined in the text-only room for the second show.)

I was SO HAPPY when Tatsuyuki Kobayashi noticed you!! RIGHT!?!? He was like “Oh and there’s someone dressed as Joji!” and you were the only one!!! He didn’t even say anything about the people dressed as Ace!!?! Haha! I wasn’t trying to do anything to get his attention (I wouldn’t know what to do anyway, and besides he’s not the kind of person who works the crowd like Masashi Igarashi does so I wasn’t expecting much) so having him notice you was a huge surprise and honestly just about as good!! AHHH!!!

But the concept of this showing was a little awkward ‘cause it’s like, as a fan, do you appeal for Joji or Ace? Tatsuyuki Kobayashi was maybe a little conflicted about how to act too. First he said he was coming as himself, but then he backpedaled and slipped into Ace being tsun when pulling the birthday crackers for Joji heheh.

But yeah, we’ve got to give him a break, he’s just so happy to have his own character finally. I’m happy about how happy he is to be Ace! But like honestly... Not like I’m necessarily complaining but... This showing ended up being almost exactly the same as the Ace one pfffthahah!!! I mean he mostly just talked about being Ace and went over a lot of the same things. Like being the surprise guest at the MRS concert, etc. I think he may have said this before too, but when he originally recorded Love Mix, Ace didn’t exist yet so he didn’t really know who he was supposed to be singing as and just tried to sound like a sparkly idol. And I’ve always felt that! Like I think his voice changed or evolved between Love Mix and Joker Kiss into being less generic idol/Joji and a lot more Ace.

OH!! I don’t think he said this at the other one (but for some reason it sounds vaguely familiar?). He was talking about how he knew of King of Prism and actually went to shows before he was cast in Pride the Hero. And after he was going to a Pride the Hero show and Sugita (Joji’s actual voice actor) was on the escalator behind him. HAHAH.

I LOVE stories like this because... okay like, when you go to a theatrical cheering show there is always this introduction video where they talk about cheering manners. And they warn you not to say anything mean because “you never know, a star might be sitting next to you.” And to know THAT’S ACTUALLY TRUE SOMETIMES.... JFLSJDLJG. I mean, I’ve only seen King of Prism in Tokyo a handful of times so it’s probably never happened to me. Actually I guess... technically... this show and the last one DO count because Masashi Igarashi and Tatsuyuki Kobayashi were watching with us before and/or after their segments and probably listening in!!! (Still, I guess the point is it’s nice to know the voice actors actually do go in their private time, too.)

Oh, one more shoutout I forgot about to the person I think had a big red car with Joji and... a bunch of Jin mochikoros in the back!!? They rolled it by the screen so fast why hahah.

And it was great to see Joji’s 2019 birthday video again and confirm it wasn’t a fever dream. Hopefully I can grab that from @takadanobaba when the archive goes up in a couple days (it will be a quick and easy translation!).

Okay that’s it.....

DO THE PRIZOOMS

Or at least buy the archive tickets and watch later

(but they are expensive and it’s not the same)

#king of prism #joji takadanobaba #ace ikebukuro #tatsuyuki kobayashi

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tomtenadia · 4 years

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Island Dreams - Chapter 14

Chapter 14 folks. And Lysandra and Aedion are here as well <3

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A few days had passed and finally the big day had arrived. Lysandra and Aedion were on their way. Aelin was pacing in the small arrivals section of Stornoway airport and kept looking at the screen for the status of the flight from Glasgow. Lysandra and Aedion were on their way and she was excited. Finally the status changed to on approach and Aelin was now full on restless. She hadn’t seen them in a while and was dying to hug Lys again and spend two weeks with her best friend and catch up.

Rowan had stayed behind at the bookshop but they were going to him after they had dumped everything at her place. She had offered them her spare bedroom. She had the space so why not? Also, she loved the idea of sharing a flat with Lysandra again. She was hoping to have time to just be with her and in her heart she was begging for Rowan and Aedion to get along so she could get the boys together and be alone with Lysandra. Twenty minutes passed and the screen had been flashing landed for a while when she finally heard her name by a voice that she would have recognised everywhere. “Lys.” She shouted and ran for her friend and hugged her savagely making a scene in front of all the other passengers. The two girls hugged for a solid five minutes until Aedion cleared his throat. Aelin finally detached and gave the man a hug “It’s nice to see you as well.” “It’s fine Ace, I am used to be an afterthought when it comes to you two.” Aelin grabbed some of the bags “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” The drive home was short and sweet and the two women had spent the time catching up, something that would probably take the whole two weeks. Aedion had sat in silence, knowing full well how much Lysandra had missed Aelin. They finally arrived at Aelin’s place and they all got in and Lysandra was staring at the place in amazement. “Aelin, this place is wonderful.” “Just renting it for now, but yes I love it.” Aelin took her friends upstairs, gave them a tour and showed them their bedroom “the bathroom is at the end of the corridor” “Are we going to meet Rowan?” Lysandra was dying to finally be introduced to the guy. Aelin had kept her posted on her development with her two guys and also sent her some of the pictures she had taken of him during their trip. “We are going to the bookshop as soon as you two are ready to get out again. Take your time, I am downstairs.” Aelin left them and went back downstairs and texted Rowan They are here. We are at my place. We will be there in about an hour I think. His reply did not come straight away Busy. I will see you in a bit. I am looking forward to meet your friends. Forty minutes later the couple came down stairs all changed and ready to go. “Rowan is waiting for us.” Added Aelin with excitement. She had been counting down the days to this since Lys had told her over the phone that they were coming. They left and started walking to the bookshop and Aelin acted as guide and was pointing at places and telling them stories as if she had live there all her life. Ten minutes later they were at the shop “Tadaaa” “Is that him?” Lysandra whispered when she spotted a man with silver hair through the window and Aelin smiled in reply. “Holy fuck, young lady, not a single one of the pictures you sent me do him any justice.” “I am standing here, by the way.” Protested Aedion, feeling left out. “Yes, darling, I know.” She kissed him tenderly. “Seriously, you really hit the jackpot.” Aelin laughed and turned to Aedion “you know she loves you right?” Lysandra turned to him a kissed him again “I’ll prove you tonight I much I love you.” And a massive grin spread on his face, while Aelin pretended not to hear. As soon as they entered Aelin felt Rowan’s arms around her waist and a soft kiss on her lips “Hi you.” “Back at you.” She said returning the kiss. Then she pulled away and made the introductions “Lysandra, Aedion, this is Rowan.” She turned to him “Ro, these are my friends.” “Welcome to Stornoway, guys.” Lysandra stared at him and heat flushed through her. His accent added to his already high level of hotness, together with the awesome tattoo sneaking up his arm. Damn the man was sex made real. She had to get a grip. She had Aedion and she loved him. “We are so happy to be here.” “And I am glad there is another guy here. I would have risked to have two week of holidays by myself.” Aedion joked grabbing Lysandra by her waist and pulling her to him. “Cheeky.” “Babe, I love you but when it comes to you and Aelin, most of times I am the third wheel.” When a customer came in, Aelin made a move to go an d serve him but Rowan stopped her “Stay with your friends.” Aelin gave Lys and Aedion a tour of the place and they loved it showing with pride her displays. “So this is where you work just now.” Lysandra said almost beaming at her friend. “You seem happy, much happier than when you left.” And took her hand. “I am…” and her gaze landed on Rowan and Aedion gave them some privacy and pretended to browse some books. “So are you two…” Aelin shook her head “We are taking it slowly, no labels or anything. And we haven’t… you know… that… yet.” “How can you resist it? Have you seen him?” Lysandra pointed out. “We have a promise.” Aelin explained and when she noticed Lysandra’s expression she expanded a bit “It’s a long story, but it will happen but not until the correct conditions are met.” “By the way… his hands…” and Aelin laughed and remembered the day in the office. “I know, they are wonderful.” And winked at her friend. “So you did something.” “Of course, we are taking it slowly, but not that slowly.” “Is he good?” Asked Lysandra who was getting super curious. Aelin gave her a huge grin. “You naughty girl.” The two women were chatting away when the boys joined them again and Rowan held Aelin from behind and put his chin on her shoulder “If you guys are hungry, this is the time when we usually close for lunch. We can go to my aunt’s.” Aelin turned and threw her arms around Rowan’s neck “Fooood. I knew I chose you for a reason.” Lysandra stared at her friend and was stunned by how much she had changed. She had never seen her like that. Not even when things with Chaol were good, she appeared that happy. She was different. A good different and that made her super relieved. The last memories she had of Aelin were of someone heartbroken in more ways than one. “I am starving,” said Aedion. Lysandra and Aedion left the shop and Aelin and Rowan followed after having closed the doors. He grabbed her hand “Let’s go.” A few minutes later they were at the cafe. “Maeve is Rowan’s aunt.” Explained Aelin while they entered the place. It was quite busy that day but they managed to get a table for four. Maeve joined them a moment later with the menus. “We have guests today. These are Lysandra and Aedion. They are my friends from London.” Aelin made the introductions. “Welcome guys. These are the menu. Take your time to order.” “The food here is great.” Aelin told them and she heard Rowan chuckle. “Any problems?” “You would know if the food is good. You already tried it all, twice.” And he flicked her nose tenderly. “Did you forget to take your ‘be nice’ pills today?” She jested and Lysandra was staring at her friend in fascination. “But I love seeing getting all worked up for nothing, mo chridhe.” And he kissed her gently. “Was that Gaelic? The last thing you said, by the way.” Asked Lysandra not understanding the last thing Rowan said. Aelin nodded. “I am sorry, but it’s so sexy.” And she blushed savagely. Rowan laughed out loud “I’ll take it as a compliment.” They finally ordered the food and after a while it arrived. “This looks awesome.” Commented Aedion who was really starving. They had left London very early and had it felt like their breakfast had been a lifetime ago. “So, I had a look at some of the things we can do while you guys are here and I thought about a little side trip.” Aelin explained, pulling out her guide from the backpack “I was thinking a four days trip and head for North Uist.” Then she turned to Rowan “Can it be done?” Rowan nodded enthusiastically “I have a better plan,” he offered and Aelin nodded eagerly he was the local, he had a better idea of what could be done. “Day one, we can head south, catch the second ferry in the morning and in an hour we are on North Uist and we can hang about the north.” He explained “Day two we can drive the whole length of North and South Uist. They are basically loads of islands connected by causeways. Day three, we can venture all the way to Barra. If we leave early in the morning we can catch the first ferry our. Spend the day on the island and come back with the last ferry. It’s June and the days are super long. Day four me come back, but we can take them to some nice places on Lewis.” “Why did I even bother buying a guide, when I have you?” She touched his hand and he grinned back. Lysandra clapped her hands excited “I trust you two. I mean I am open to anything.” “Me too.” Added Aedion. “And there’s beaches” Rowan added and Aelin looked at him “Huge ones.” “What? Better than Luskentyre?” Rowan nodded and Aelin’s mouth fell open “How is that even possible?” “What is Luskentyre?” Asked Aedion curious. “It’s this incredible, stunning, amazing beach. We’ll go there, I promise.” Explained Aelin remembering the first time she went there. “Can we swim?” This time it was Lysandra. Rowan was dubious. He could but he was not sure they could take it “It’s June. If we get a good day, chances are it will be warm but the water might not be that as warm. We are still talking about the Atlantic Ocean.” “But we can suntan? I need to loose my Londoner’s pallor.” Then she looked at Aelin who had gained a bit of colour “Like her.” Rowan for a moment imagined Aelin in a swimsuit. He pushed the image away because they were in public and with friends. “Could you close the shop for four days?” Rowan nodded “I haven’t taken a holiday in a very long time. I don’t care.” And his arm went around her shoulder and she gave him a wonderful smile that almost stopped his heart. “Logistics,” continued Aelin who was having a great time planning the time away with Rowan and her friends “How about a self catering. We get a cottage so we have more freedom?” “I know some places.” Added Rowan “I know one that has a view of the sands from the living room. And the path to the beach is not far away. I can get in touch with them.” “Please.” Said the two women in unison. “Let us know the price and we’ll share. I am paying for Lys. This is kinda a very belated birthday present for her.” And he kissed her tenderly. “Ok, today is Wednesday,” said Rowan “Can we do Friday? I have to go to the school tomorrow.” And he turned to Aelin “I am going for my instructor trial tomorrow morning.” Then he turned to Aedion “you can come with me so the ladies can have some time alone.” “Thanks man, our girls need a few hours of crazy gossiping.” “Lysandra and I can man the shop.”Aelin grinned wildly. “Ohhh I would love that. Yes, please.” Lysandra stared at Rowan with puppy eyes. “Can we trust them?” Joked Rowan talking to Aedion. He had a good feeling about the guy at liked him from the beginning. “It’s your shop, man. I hope you are insured.” Rowan and Aedion laughed while the two women glared at them. “You two are horrible.” Said Lysandra. Aedion hugged her “Yes, but you love me.” “Maybe,” she pouted.

The next morning Lysandra and Aelin were ready for their morning alone in the shop and for some well deserved gossiping. The boys were away and they finally had some time alone. “I love this, by the way.” Said Lysandra looking around the bookstore “Rowan has done an amazing job.” Aelin nodded and went to open the door and noticed one of their regulars. She collected the order for the woman and Lysandra studied her friend at work. She seemed a natural. When she was free again, Lysandra decided to begin “So, you and Rowan. Are you seriously telling me that you guys are not together? I have seen how he looks at you. And when he told you that sweet thing in Gaelic? Hell Aelin, that man is crazy about you.” Aelin took a seat next to Lysandra. “I know.” She sighed “And I am madly in love with him. We both know our feelings.” “So why the breaks?” Aelin’s stare was fixed outside the window “Because until a few days ago Elias was still in the picture. Because we both had bad past relationship and both need to take it slowly for once. Neither of us wants to fuck up this one. So no labels for now. Just let it develop as it goes. And I love it. I love him, Lys, so badly that it hurts.” “I can see that.” Lysandra caressed Aelin’s head “And I can see he does too.” Then she took her friend’s hand “I don’t think I have ever seen you so happy. Not even with police guy.” Aelin squeezed Lysandra’s hand back. “And please let’s discuss how that man is sex on two legs, now that I had some time to study him in real life.” Aelin barked a laugh “I am glad Aedion is not here.” “Seriously. One: his hands. The things he could do with them. Two: the backside. He should have a permit because that thing is a weapon that could kill.” Aelin kept laughing. She missed this. They used to discuss together the guy they were interested in, but it was the first time Lysandra was so openly excited about one of her men. “Three… is he a god or something? His body, have you seen him? Imagine him naked…” and Lysandra fanned herself with her hands. Aelin thought back at the day in his office when he had his polo shirt off. “He used to be a professional swimmer, he almost made it to the Olympics.” “Holy mother of all fucks.” And Aelin had missed Lysandra’s colourful language of when she was shocked. “So that’s why the swimming thing for the school?” Aelin nodded “Bad injury. Had to give up.” “Drat, that’s awful.” “Anyway, if you let him go I am coming back here and I’ll thump you.” They were chatting away when the door opened and Elias entered the shop. Aelin almost chocked on the coffee she was sipping. “Good morning,” he said in a very cheery voice and gave Aelin a huge smile. Then he turned to Lysandra “Is it me or Rowan is all of a sudden more gorgeous than I remember?” Aelin giggled “This is Lysandra, she is here visiting.” Then turned to her friend “Lys, this is Elias.” Lysandra’s mouth fell open “Hi…” she managed “I heard a lot about you.” “Good things I hope.” Lysandra nodded. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” “Aye lass, but I have a very tedious meeting coming up in two hours and a desperate need for books.” He leaned against the counter with his hands. “You need book two of The cursed Kingdom?” “And three, and four.” Elias added. Aelin jumped off the chair and went to get the books and Elias followed her at the shelves “Love the display. Are you trying to break everyone’s heart by recommending this series?” “No,” she handed him the books “I am just teaching islanders what a good Fantasy series looks like.” They walked back to the counter under the strict stare of Lysandra. “Can I at least hope in an happy ending? Because the angst so far is killing me.” Aelin put the books in a bag and handed them to him “Nope. As I said, buy wine. And prepare for the worst angst in history. And I am not telling you how it finishes.” “Ok, the warrior guy cannot die and he needs to end up with the Queen.” Aelin giggled and loved the fact that they could still talk and be around each other without it being awkward. “Just text me when you reach chapter twenty five of book two.” “Something bad happens?” “Just text me.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “Of course m’lady.” And he bowed to her with a huge spitting grin. His eyes bright with mirth. “And after this lovely conversation I have to bid farewell to you two lovely ladies and go back to a conversation about environmental friendly engines.” “I’ll text you.” He added staring at Aelin. “I am counting on it.” And with that he left the shop. Lysandra turned all of a sudden to her friend “That was Elias. As in theElias as in the other guy?” Aelin nodded. “Damn, now I understand why you were all flustered and confused. Seriously woman, what do guy eat around here?” Lysandra blurted out “Ok, he is not sex on two legs like Rowan but I’d definitely take him out for a ride if it wasn’t that I love Aedion.” “He is wonderful. Just…” “No spark. It’s fine. At least you are still good friends.” Aelin wanted to reply but a group of what clearly were tourists came into the bookshop. By accident Lysandra moved the mouse with her hand and it woke up the computer and she noticed the screensaver. It was a picture of Aelin on the beach. She had her arms up in the air and her feet in the water and a smile she had never seen on her friend. And her heart ached. She was happy for Aelin, but she also knew that the chances of her going back to London were now non-existent. And the idea of not having her around hurt. But she knew Aelin needed all of the good things that were happening to her and she hoped Rowan was intelligent enough to realise what an amazing woman he had won over. Lysandra got off the chair and started walking around the shop with interest and studied Aelin in her new element.

It was later in the morning when Rowan and Aedion returned to the shop. “Glad to see my bookshop is still standing, Fireheart.” And he pulled her to him for a hug and Aelin could smell the chlorine on him and flinched. She kissed him behind his ear and found a spot where the chlorine did not seem to affect him and smiled. “How was it?” She asked looking up at him. “I loved it. The kids are great and it felt awesome to be back in the water.” He kissed her “And after they all left I stayed in the water and swam a bit.” She stayed hugged to him but turned a little to look at Lysandra “We had a good morning too. And Elias popped in for a visit. He needed the other books in The Cursed Kingdom.” “Poor man,” Rowan joked and kissed Aelin’s head grateful that she did not hide from him the fact that the man had come to the shop. He was okay with them being friends because that made Aelin happy. And that was going to be his next mission in life: make her as happy as he could. “So you are taking the job?” “I will. After our break. I already told them so.” He explained. And Aelin grinned. She was happy that Rowan had made that step, he seemed happier all of a sudden “Now I just need to see you swim.” Lysandra’s eyebrows went up in acknowledgement and she thought about the conversation they had earlier. “I was thinking…” began Rowan and Aelin gave him a puzzled look and he ignored her “What about dinner all of us together at my place tonight?” Aelin was staring at him in disbelief. What had happened to him all of a sudden? She looked at his serene face and she realised they were a long way from the grumpy man who had kicked her out of the shop and told her she was nothing to him. She slid her arms around his waist and almost purred. She did not care if her friends were there. She needed that. Plus, in the past she had to suffer Lysandra and her PDA with other boyfriends. “Sounds like a brilliant plan.”

Rowan had closed an hour earlier and affixed a sign on the door advising the customers that the shop was going to close for four days for holidays. They had all gone to their respective places to pack and get ready for their trip. Aelin felt on cloud number nine. They arrived at Rowan’s at six thirty. They had decided for an early dinner. They didn’t want to stay up too late considering the early departure on the schedule for the following day. Once at the house, Rowan welcomed them in and his place smelled like delicious food. Apparently Rowan was good at cooking. Aelin was eager to see if she could add that one as well to the list of skills the man had. “Come and sit in the living room.” “Wow.” Was Lysandra’s comment at the sight “And I thought Aelin had a problem with books. Looks like you are worse than her. Definitely the man of her dreams.” And she winked at Aelin with a mischievous smile. Rowan pretended to ignore the comment and opened a bottle of wine “You can drink too since you did not drive here.” Aelin rolled her eyes. He was so overprotective. “Yes, dad.” And Lysandra laughed loudly and Aelin had half an idea of why. Rowan filled their glasses “dinner will be ready soon.” And disappeared back in the kitchen and Aelin glared at Lysandra. “What?” He friend whispered “I am just helping.”

Rowan came back a few minutes later with a fantastic series of plates with mouthwatering food. “You made all this?” Asked Aelin incredulous. “I did.” Then he brought over the last two dishes. He had made an amazing pork roast with vegetables, and roasted potatoes. “These are for you.” He gave Aelin a plate with fries “I know you love them, although you are missing out on my roasted potatoes.” “Who said I am missing out?” She grinned. They began eating and Aelin was amazed s the meal turned out to be wonderful and she wondered if her could be any more perfect. “I have found a place for us where to stay. It’s a cottage I knew and they had space for the nights we needed so I went ahead and booked it. Hope it’s okay.” “As long as it’s the one with the beach view.” Aelin had her priorities all right. “It is. I also booked our ferry ticket so we don’t have to worry too much.” “What time would you like to leave tomorrow?” Asked Aelin knowing that Rowan already had an action plan. “I’ll come and pick you up at seven. Better leave early, especially if we plan to go to Luskentyre. I plan on having to drag Aelin away by force.” He grinned at her and brushed her hand “We have the ferry at 13:15.” He took a sip of his wine “I had a look at the forecast and it looks like we are going to be very lucky. There is a warm front coming and it’s going to hit us right when we are away. but…” and he stared at the two women “bring clothes to protect you from the wind. Aelin knows how bad the wind can get out here.” And his piercing green eyes were on Aelin. “I am going to bring a swimsuit. I don’t care. I need to swim in those waters.” “I’ll bring medicines.” He replied glaring at her.

The dinner went on a bit longer but at 9 Rowan decided he was sending everyone home. They had a long day ahead and they needed rest. “You are kicking us out so you can read.” Aelin told him brushing a kiss on his cheek. “I am kicking you out because we are leaving early tomorrow.” He leaned into the kiss. “Do you want a help cleaning up?” She offered but he refused “Pans and pots are already washing in the dishwasher. I just need to do the dishes. It won’t take me long.” “Okay” she said brushing his hand.

Once at the door Lysandra and Aedion said their goodbyes and then the woman dragged her boyfriend away to let the two some privacy. “Thank you for tonight. It was very nice of you.” Rowan kissed her and pinned her against the wall near the door. Aelin’s hands went straight for his hair and replied to the kiss with the same need as him. When she came up for air she stared him in his green eyes “I love you, mo chridhe.” “The more you say it, the more your accent gets better.” And he kissed her again. “I love you, mo chridhe,” His hand brushed her hair and kissed her one last time for good measure. “Tha gaol agam ort.”

#rowaelin #rowan x aelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #aedion x lysandra #lysandra #aedion ashryver #fanfic #fluff #throne of glass series

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moonbeambucky · 5 years

Text

Know It All

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader [College AU] Word Count: 5300 Warnings: fluff, minor angst

Summary: Your grades and patience are tested when you’re paired together for a class project with the one person you cannot stand, Bucky Barnes.

A/N: This is my submission for @jaamesbbarnes and @sgtjbuccky Milestone Celebration Writing Challenge. My prompt was “Looking for trouble, are we?” I cannot thank Sam @buckyofthemyscira enough for being a wonderful beta and helping me get on track when I was so lost with this and to Allie @all1e23 for her help with a plot conflict. My mind was working against me on this one but I hope it turned out well. gif source (x)

The brisk air of autumn winds fill your lungs as you stepped outside, energizing your body faster than the coffee you finished not long ago. Coffee was practically a requirement as a college student, a must for an early Monday morning class, especially when that class is calculus, taught by the nice but a little stiff and robotic Professor Vision.

Leaves crunch under your boots as you walk to the building for your next class. It’s a short distance away yet still you pick up your pace, huffing as you rush towards Lee Hall so you could get a good seat for your next class which happened to be your favorite.

If there was anyone more excited than you about American History it was Professor Coulson. You had first taken his introductory class a few semesters back and found he had an excellent way of bringing out new details to a subject you thought you were well versed in.

Naturally, when he was teaching another class you needed for your requirements you jumped on the chance at signing up. As you walked into the large lecture hall you glanced to the left, greeting Professor Coulson with a cheerful smile, a smile that dropped the moment you noticed someone was in your seat.

You stomped your way up the steps to get to the fourth row, stopping dead center at the incredibly annoying person you knew was testing your patience.

“Move Barnes, you’re in my seat,” you huffed, arms crossing over your chest.

A sly smirk spread across the face of Bucky Barnes, a person you could sum up in one word, slacker.

“I don’t see your name on this chair, doll.” He winked; a simple gesture that made your anger boil over.

Class was about to begin so you sat down, leaving a seat in between so you didn’t end up in part of MCU history as the girl that strangled a classmate during class.

Bucky was the only damper on an otherwise perfect class. He didn’t take notes, he didn’t participate and he didn’t ever study. If Professor Coulson called on him it was like Bucky had no idea what the class was even doing. He would always stutter as he tried to catch up, turning towards you as he sighed after successfully bullshitting his way through another question; which pissed you off even more, because despite an open lecture hall with plenty of seats Bucky Barnes chose to sit next to you.

It was obvious you were a smart student. Your hand raised every time to be called on, you took amazingly detailed notes and aced every test, which is why you had a feeling a certain someone decided his new spot would be beside you. Cheater.

If he only studied and gave a shit about his grades he wouldn’t have to try to copy off you. Well you made sure he couldn’t. During tests you hunched over your desk, curving your arm around your paper to protect the answers you spent countless hours studying for.

Throughout class you tried to ignore the eyes you felt on you, seeing Bucky’s goofy smile through the corner of your eye. He was not going to succeed in distracting you. Nope.

You were going to continue listening to this lecture about World War II and not at all think about the way Bucky’s bright white teeth stand out against the scruff of his face. He’s probably too lazy to shave just like he’s too lazy to study.

Bucky let out a chuckle when he heard you humph under your breath. His audible laugh caused you to whip your head in his direction, flaring your eyes at him before they rolled back into your head.

“By Wednesday I hope everyone will have read pages 346 to 403 just in case something pops up,” Professor Coulson said, smiling to the large hall.

Grabbing your laptop you placed it neatly in your bag, tucking away a small notepad you kept out just in case and made sure your pens were capped tightly before they went into their own separate compartment.

“Wow, you’re such a nerd.”

You looked up disdainfully at Bucky’s large frame standing over you.

“The world won’t end if you misplace a pen, you know.”

You don’t respond. Tossing your bag over your shoulder you walked down the steps, calling out to Professor Coulson with a big smile as you waved him goodbye.

“Later Phil,” Bucky said as he left.

You rolled your eyes again at his boldness. Sure Professor Coulson said you could call him by his first name but it still seemed inappropriate. Of course Bucky didn’t care.

As you continued walking down the hall, you felt a presence beside you.

“So, are you going out for lunch now or are you going to head to the library like always? There’s plenty of time in the world to study, you could take a little break you know.”

Your lips scrunched together as you frowned, picking up your pace as your feet took you faster to anywhere that was away from Bucky.

“You just gonna ignore me?”

Your fists tightened so hard they were shaking, itching to feel release if you could only punch the smirk off Bucky that you knew he had.

“Doll?”

You spun around immediately, pointing a finger in his face.

“I’m not your doll so stop saying that! Why are you bothering me? We’re not friends. Just stay away from me Barnes.”

Bucky remained in his place as he watched you turn the corner, huffing with anger. His lips stretched out flat, an uneasy smile that gave way to a small frown, wishing things were different.

Professor Vision rambled on for an extra five minutes and would not let the class go, meaning now you had to run to Lee Hall if you were going to be on time for your next class.

Beads of sweat ran down your temple as you finally got into the building, panting as you raced up two flights of stairs. Your heart was pounding like a drum against your chest as you attempted to catch your breath during the power walk to the room.

It was bad enough you were probably going to be late, with eyes on you as walk through the door, now everyone was going to see you looking like a sweaty mess on top of it.

As you pulled the door open expecting the worst you were surprised to find that no one was looking at you. Professor Coulson was addressing the class as he was discussing something he had put up on the large screen.

Even though you wanted to see what it was you needed to take your seat which was surprisingly open. Bucky was sitting in the same row a few seats away but he had left your seat open.

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, watching as you anxiously got yourself in order. It was unlike you to be thrown off from your usual precision.

“Incredible Bucky.” Professor Coulson admired the photo. “Where was this taken?”

“After the Battle of Azzano.”

Your head turned towards Bucky as he answered, with a wide eyed stare of disbelief having never heard him speak in class before, not in a real class anyway…

Before your mind wandered somewhere you didn’t want to revisit you straightened up, finally looking at the screen. It was a black and white photo of a group of soldiers, arms thrown over each other smiling despite some visible injuries; a bandage wrapped head, cuts and scrapes along their faces.

“Can anyone tell me what happened in the Battle of Azzano?” the professor asked again.

Your hand naturally shot up, smiling widely as you were called on. “About 200 members of the 107th infantry were captured by the Nazi’s, with their Captain leading an unsanctioned rescue mission to free them.”

“Correct. It nearly got him a dishonorable discharge but instead his superiors believed his actions in saving lives of not only U.S. Military but British and French soldiers who were captured as well should be awarded with a special medal, the Shield of Bravery.”

Again you felt Bucky’s gaze on you and turning your head your suspicion was confirmed. His smile was soft as he stared at you, his eyes expressing a strange aura of... Joy? Pride? You’re not quite sure and honestly you didn’t want to find out. Your head stiffened as you set your own gaze forward to begin taking notes.

As promised Professor Coulson “surprised” everyone with a pop quiz, one you know you would have aced regardless of the day you spent studying.

“Okay class, time is up. Pass your quizzes forward.”

Rustling paper echoed throughout the hall as you added your quiz to the pile you were given, walking it over to the person that sat in the row below you a few seats to the left.

“I’m gonna let you all leave early…” the Professor’s sentence was interrupted by a roar of cheers. “...but first I want to give you a heads up for an upcoming project. The details are posted online. Let’s say it’s due in 2 weeks?”

A wave of groans echoed from the back of the hall.

“Alright, 3 weeks.” He smiled as the new date went over a lot better. “Let’s make this simple, whoever you’re sitting closest to is your partner, if anything is uneven just join the nearest group. See you all next Monday!” he said, closing his laptop.

Panic flooded your body like a tidal wave, crashing down and dragging you under. It was hard to breathe, realizing the one person you wanted nothing to do with was going to be your partner for this project.

Bucky wore a smirk that made you roll your eyes and groan.

“Looks like we’re partners.” You didn’t respond.

With deep breaths you put your things away and got up, exiting the room and savoring your final moments of peace. Bucky shrugged his bag over his shoulder following you out.

You pushed open the door to the stairway, a forceful shove as a final act of letting out the anger you felt for being partnered with Bucky.

“We might as well get started,” you said, as you began descending the stairs.

“Get started?” Bucky scoffed, “It’s due in 3 weeks. We have time, doll.”

You shook your head. Of course Bucky wants to be lazy and save everything until the last minute. Well, that’s not how you do things.

“Don’t call me doll, and just because it’s due in 3 weeks doesn’t mean we can’t start now. Plus I want to get this over with.”

Bucky skipped ahead to hold open the door for you. “Uh huh, you mean you don’t want to spend more time with me?”

His tone was light and playful as his face became almost cherubic, batting his eyelashes, his lips pulling into a sweet smile that was almost convincing if you didn’t already know him.

Your face twisted incredulously. “Why would I want to spend time with you?” You shrugged your long knit cardigan closer over your body as you passed him, stepping outside into the chilly air.

Bucky scoffed again, his patience beginning to run thin. “Please doll, you’d be lucky to spend time with me.”

“Yeah right!” you chuckled, walking aimlessly beside him. “Your little act didn’t get passed me today Mr. ‘I’m going to kiss the professor’s ass with an old picture I found because that’s a great way to distract him before a quiz.’ You know it would be a lot easier if you just studied!”

Bucky’s smile soured into a sneer. “Oh like you, Miss ‘I’m scared of letting loose and actually having a good time so I’ll drown myself in studying as an excuse to be a stick in the mud,’” he mocked with a higher pitch in his voice.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you snapped, stopping on the walkway to yell at him, ignoring the looks of curious students as they passed by.

Cocking his head Bucky smirked, “Actually I do. Maybe you pushed it down but I remember you. Drama 101 with Professor Laufeyson two years ago.”

His words carry you back to the open room, where a black tiered platform with more chairs than students sat across from a stage. It wasn’t very large but the burden of stepping on it sat like a boulder in your stomach.

You remember it vividly, standing in the center as the bright lights burned away your confidence. The words of your monologue became a scramble of alphabet soup in your mind. Terrified and shaking, you stood silent in front of the class until a meek apology croaked its way out.

Head hanging low with disappointment as you sat back in your seat, watching as the rest of the class did what you couldn’t do. You hated how acting came so easy to them; to be a different person, to let go. Bucky did that with ease.

You envied him and his ability to be free and act silly or speak with a weird voice. He could do whatever the role demanded and you hated it. You hated not being good at something, hated that you couldn’t get over your insecurities, and you hated that Bucky could do something you were too afraid to do yourself.

“He was begging you to break out of your shell but you couldn’t. Guess you can’t study your way to an A for everything.”

Tears burned their way to your eyes at the sharpness of Bucky’s words. “You’re a real jerk, you know that?” You had no other comeback, you couldn’t fight the truth.

Before you gave him the chance to say anything else you took off. Feet pounding on the pavement as you raced to get as far away from Bucky Barnes, the biggest asshole you’ve ever met.

Bucky didn’t show up the following Monday. It was a relief to not have to face him after the way you left things. Not because you cared about him; you were more concerned with hoping he didn’t see you cry.

His absence didn’t stop you from thinking about him. While trying to pay attention to the lesson you cursed Bucky out in your head. Cutting class… what are we in high school? What’s the point of paying for college if you don’t even show up? But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything.

On Wednesday Bucky strolled into class just as it began. He trudged up the steps stopping at the row in front of yours. You expected him to move towards the center in front of you but instead you watched him shrug off his backpack, slouch into the chair and pull out his laptop.

Throughout class you kept glancing over towards him. His screen remained blank, turning black after neglect as Bucky rested his cheek against his palm, elbow propped up on the desk. Go home if you want to sleep during class!

When class ended you saw Bucky waiting for you at the door. With a deep breath you prepared yourself for whatever he was going to say.

“Hey,” Bucky said with much less enthusiasm than usual. You stared at him, giving a silent acknowledgement with a raise of your brows. “I need your number.”

Your response denying his request shot out like a speeding bullet. You didn’t even have to entertain the idea. Giving someone like Bucky your number would be an invitation to middle of the night calls, pranks or worse.

“How are we going to work on the project then?”

“Work on the project? That’s funny,” you laughed dryly, shaking your head.

His brows furrowed and just as Bucky was going to speak again you cut him off.

“Forget the project Barnes. I’ll do it myself and you can slap your name on it. Let’s be honest, I’m sure that’s what would have happened anyway.”

Maybe it was a harsh truth but it was a truth you knew from experience. It would be easier to complete the work on your own and have Bucky stand up there when it was time to present. He shouldn’t complain anyway, this would be an easy A for him.

“You’re a real bitch Y/N.”

Your jaw dropped open as you turned to face Bucky. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, jaw clenching tight as his ocean blue eyes were set ablaze.

“Excuse me? How dare y–”

He lifted his hand as he began to talk over you. “All this time I’ve tried to be your friend, since Drama! I say hello, I ask how you’re doing and all you do is ignore me.”

As Bucky ran his hands through his hair he turned his head away from you for a moment and you could swear the light reflected a watery shine in his yes. “You hate me for whatever reason and I don’t know why I kept trying but you don’t know shit about me!”

He began to walk away before coming back. “For the record, that picture was of my grandfather. His funeral was 2 days ago but I guess you’re too much of a selfish know-it-all to give a shit.”

Bucky stomped away this time for good, leaving you alone in the hallway feeling like absolute shit.

After finally motivating yourself to move, your feet took you to the library. Setting up your laptop you decided to do a little studying, but instead of academics you focused on researching something unknown, Bucky Barnes.

Finding him on Facebook was easy. Last year you made friends with Peggy Carter during your shared anthropology class and she happened to be dating Steve Rogers, aka Bucky’s best friend. On Steve’s profile you searched for “Bucky” and surprisingly nothing came up. When you searched “Barnes” you saw his profile, James Barnes.

Well that was something unexpected. How did you not know Bucky’s real name was James? A quick glance of his profile doesn’t show much information seeing as the most recent post was a meme someone named Sam tagged him in over a year ago. Great.

Looking at Bucky’s friends you were more successful in finding the profiles of his family. His father George rarely posted anything except for some comments on baseball and a sweet picture of what had to be Bucky’s sister. Dressed in a cap and gown, she was surrounded by her parents and Bucky, holding a diploma in her hand. Must be high school. She’s definitely younger than Bucky.

His mother Winifred’s page was a goldmine of information. It was George’s father who passed away. Henry James Barnes, a decorated World War II veteran who earned a purple heart after losing his arm in battle.

She posted several pictures of Henry throughout his life; some with his wife and the large family they had, a newspaper clipping of him with his oldest son Charles at 1955 World Series when the Brooklyn Dodgers won and the one Bucky shared with the class.

Every picture told the story of a loving husband and father who became a grandfather many times over. And there it was. Henry sitting on a floral couch holding baby Bucky against him. It made sense, clearly Bucky was named after him, and based on the other pictures posted they were very close.

You felt compelled to learn more about Bucky, going through his mother’s old posts and photos to see what you might find and what you uncovered seemed unbelievable. Student of the Month. Honors Society. The Dean’s List. Bucky was… a good student?! No, not just good, he was an excellent student.

You sat back against the hard chair wondering why you judged Bucky as hard as you had. He had never done anything personally to you for you to hold a grudge, and as you thought about what he said earlier he was right.

In Drama he tried to talk to you, tell you it’s okay, to shake it off your nerves and go for it, but you brushed him off, twisting his kindness into a condescending lecture. Even in History, when he saw you had class again together his eyes lit up. He sat beside you, asked how you’ve been and you gave him the cold shoulder.

Everything you thought you knew about Bucky Barnes was wrong and you needed to find him to apologize. You walked around campus hoping to run into him but that was useless. Now you regret not exchanging numbers.

The need to speak to Bucky grew as the days passed. Studying was nearly impossible. You couldn’t think about anything except him. Then you felt it, that aha moment. You were looking for Bucky in the wrong place.

It took a bit of digging to find Bucky’s Instagram (thankfully Steve still had his connected to his Facebook) but there it was, his life on display through vibrant pictures. Coney Island at night caught your eye, from the bright lights of the rides and games against the dark midnight sky, to other pictures of the Brooklyn Bridge with a beautiful sunset glow.

Your lips tugged into a smile while looking at Bucky surrounded by Steve and a few other friends but when you came across an old picture of him obviously drunk your smile grew into a large grin that stretched across your face.

Bucky was a mess, with glossy eyes that didn’t quite focus, long messy hair sticking to his sweat covered brow and yet he had the brightest, cutest smile ever, all while clutching a Kermit the Frog plush.

The most recent photo was of him and his grandfather with a touching caption that made your heart do a funny flip in your chest.

The circle around his profile picture turned pink and suddenly you wondered if you should click on it. If you do, he’ll know you were stalking his page but there’s a chance his story could tell you where he is. If you don’t you’ll have to wait two more long and torturous days before you can apologize.

You wanted to stop, to let it all go and begin studying for the weekend but you couldn’t. You were wrong and needed to make things right.

Click.

It’s a photo of a beer bottle with condensation dripping down onto the counter top, a faint glow of red from the lights behind the golden bar. Thankfully he tagged the location, Starks.

Quickly you changed out of lounge pants and threw on some jeans and boots, grabbing the nearest jacket and wrapping a scarf around your neck. With your phone in hand you headed out to the bar, hoping Bucky would still be there.

There was a small crowd beside the entrance, people you would normally feel intimidated by but you pushed on, passing them without hesitation as you were determined to find Bucky. Rock music blared as your eyes scanned all the people sitting at the bar but Bucky was not one of them.

A man behind the counter with dark eyes and finely sculpted facial hair made eye contact with you, flashing a big smile. You nodded back, smiling but moving along. Drinks were the last thing on your mind, although if you didn’t find Bucky you were seriously considering drowning your sorrows in whatever libation would take your guilt away the quickest.

You were nearly ready to give up until you heard it, the sound of Bucky’s laughter. You followed it towards the back, seeing a row of pool tables with Bucky on the end. He was accompanied by Steve and someone with a contagious laugh and gap-toothed smile.

Watching from afar you were happy to see Bucky happy and joking with his friends. Apparently you hadn’t blended into the crowd well enough as Bucky lifted his head and caught you in the gaze of his blue eyes.

“Well, well,” Bucky began. Since there was no point in hiding you walked towards him. “Looking for trouble, are we?”

Your heart began to race and you weren’t sure if it was from the flirtatious tone in his voice paired with the smirk he would not stop staring at you with or the fact that he looked damn good.

A simple grey sweater has never looked better, stretched across his muscular frame you never quite paid attention to before. Dark jeans stretched over thick thighs that made your mouth water.

Swallowing a nervous gulp you asked, “Can we talk?”

Bucky turned towards his friends, giving a silent look they must have understood. Grabbing their drinks they left leaving you and Bucky alone at the pool table.

“Bucky, I–”

“Hang on,” he said, walking around the pool table to grab the sunken balls from the pockets.

You waited a little impatiently for him as he racked up the balls, wanting to get your apology over with.

“Okay doll, you want to talk and I want to play so we’re doing both.” He smiled, grabbing a pool stick off the wall and handing it to you. “So what’s on the line?”

Confused, you asked what he meant as you chalked up the end of the stick.

“Well, we have to play for something, doll.”

All you wanted to do was talk to him but if he wants you to play this game literally, then you would.

“Fine. If I win, you have to stop calling me doll.” You smirked, watching his face sour with dismay.

“Really doll?” Those big blue eyes became even bigger as he pouted feigning sadness.

“I said stop,” you warned.

He dropped the pout, pulling his lips back into a sly grin. “You didn’t win anything yet, doll,” he said, winking at your unamused face.

As Bucky chalked up the end of his pool stick he mulled over ideas in his head. “Now if I win I promise to leave you alone...”

Your brows knit together with confusion. Why would he leave you alone? It should have felt like a relief and yet for some reason it upset you.

“... but first you have to give me a kiss.”

All of your worries flew away with his finished sentence. “Excuse me? No. Don’t be creepy Barnes.”

“Okay, okay, relax doll.” He held his hands up defensively. “I didn’t say it had to be on my lips alright. A peck on the cheek is fine. Deal?”

For some reason you agreed, probably because you really wanted to apologize to him. Despite Bucky’s stipulation you felt really bad for how you’ve been treating him.

Walking past Bucky you took off your scarf and jacket, throwing them on top of his familiar leather jacket. You set yourself up to break, leaning over the table to adjust the position of the cue ball and Bucky couldn’t help but stare at your backside.

“Need me to teach you, doll?”

He pictured himself leaning against your body, his hands gently sweeping over yours guiding the pool stick in the proper position. The thought got him a little too excited and thankfully you couldn’t see the way he adjusted his stance, shaking off his desire.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” you asked rhetorically, hitting the cue fiercely and sending two balls in.

Bucky’s mouth was agape in surprise.

“You don’t know everything about me either,” you smirked playfully as you set yourself up to hit the solid balls you claimed.

Leaning against the wall, Bucky tried his best to hide his proud smile as you nailed the next shot. This game might be over way before he expected and quickly he thought about asking for best 2 out of 3 to keep you there longer. He didn’t even care about the kiss, he honestly wanted to keep hanging out. Thankfully you missed the next shot and Bucky took his time figuring out the best angle to try for with the cue’s current placement.

It was now or never you decided, wishing you hadn’t walked past the bar because liquid courage would really come in handy.

Clearing your throat you finally spoke up. “I’m sorry about your grandfather.” Bucky picked his head up from the table, his face dropping to a solemn expression. “It seemed like he lived a great life.”

A simple chuckle and Bucky smiled again. “You stalkin’ me doll?” His tone was light and then he dropped it again with a more serious thank you.

Bucky took a shot and missed but he didn’t care about the game. “I should apologize too. You’re not a bitch or a stick in the mud.”

Your lips pulled into a lopsided smile. “Thanks. Well I might be a stick in the mud,” you admitted.

Walking closer to you, Bucky leaned against the pool table. “No,” he disagreed, shaking his head. “Maybe more like a twig.”

He was happy to see you burst into laughter at his joke. This was the side of you Bucky had been waiting to see. He knew it was there, buried under the layers you built up in your quest to be a perfect student.

You continued to play, talking through the game as you got to know each other for real for the first time.

“I was so jealous of you in Drama. You were so carefree. I guess I twisted that in my head to think you didn’t give a shit about anything. I’m sorry.”

Bucky aimed to sink the next ball. “I do give a shit,” he said, striking the cue. “I study, but I have fun too.” He grimaced as the ball barely made it towards the pocket.

“I could probably take notes on that,” you replied.

“You would take notes. Where’s your laptop and your precious pens?” he teased.

“At home,” you chuckled. A wide smile spread across your face as you set up to take a shot.

“You look cute when you’re all smiley like that.”

The warmth of your cheeks intensified at his comment. Feeling your whole body begin to race you completely messed up the shot.

“You did that on purpose! You’re distracting me!” you grinned.

Bucky smirked, dropping his voice to a much lower octave, “Maybe I really want that kiss.”

You swallowed a lump that formed in your throat, urging him to continue playing. Things were close but a bad miss on Bucky’s part allowed you to hit the final solid ball, calling the 8 ball and sinking it.

“I’m gonna miss calling you doll,” he said, dropping his head down as his lips pulled into a frown.

“Considering I won I think I’ll let you continue calling me doll.”

His head picked up at your words, seeing the smile you wore that truly did outshine the sun.

“Oh, look at Y/N. She’s out having fun and breaking rules!” he joked.

Shaking your head, you chuckled, “Shut up Bucky.”

“Hey, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said my na–”

You caught him off guard by pressing your lips to his but as soon as Bucky realized what happened you felt him smile against your lips, parting his own to kiss you back. His arms wrapped around your body as he pulled you closer, deepening the victory of his loss.

The crowd seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in the kiss, thankful that Bucky was holding you because you felt like a feather blowing in the wind. When you parted for air, you did so slowly, not wanting to separate your lips from his.

It may be true that you’re a bit of a know it all but now as you proudly fail at holding back a wide grin you realize there’s so much more to learn about your new favorite subject, Bucky Barnes.

✨ If you like my work please consider supporting me on patreon ✨

#d&s’milestonecelebration #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au

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gaylotusthatexists · 4 years

Text

a not-so-quiet afternoon

pairing: logince

summary: Logan is trying to spend a quiet afternoon in the library when someone comes and disturbs the peace.

trigger warnings: none that i can think of but let me know if i need to tag anything

word count: 1030

a/n: so uhh happy pride month! i'm gay and wanna celebrate this s o imma try to post a one shot every day based off of this prompt list (which btw if you wanna request anything feel free). today's prompt is first meetings :) hope y'all enjoy~

ao3

Logan glanced up from his spot in the library, frowning as he saw a man barge in, loudly announcing his presence to the librarian and asking for directions. Rolling his eyes, Logan returned to his book, but found it increasingly difficult to concentrate as said man continued to stomp around the library, apparently unaware of those trying to study around him. And then, of course, of bloody course, the man came and sat down on Logan's table, shoving aside some of Logan's notes to make room for his own books, which he proceeded to not read, instead doodling on a piece of paper and checking his phone every few seconds. Logan was half tempted to stand up, shove the newcomers books off the table, and storm out, but he wouldn't give him the satisfaction. This was his table, he'd got here first, and if anyone should move, it should be the new guy.

"Excuse me," Logan said, quietly, "but would you mind moving to another table?"

The man looked up, eyes widening upon noticing Logan. Logan couldn't quite read his expression, but it seemed as though had just noticed Logan sitting there. His hair was unkempt and he looked tired, or stressed. That confused Logan, slightly, as he had seemed rather confident when he entered the library, so Logan had assumed he'd be pretty well put together. Logan sat quietly, waiting for a response. It didn't come, the man instead returning to his doodling.

No, that wasn't doodling. Upon taking a closer look, Logan realised he was doing work - maths work, it looked like. And he was doing it wrong, if Logan's assumptions were correct - which they usually were. Still, that didn't excuse his previous behaviour of moving Logan's notes, ones that he'd worked pretty hard on. Huffing, Logan gathered up his own books and notes, planning to move to another table himself. He hoped that the guy picked up on his huffing.

"Wait," the guy said, just as Logan began to get up, "I'm sorry."

Logan blinked. He slowly sat back down, looking at the guy curiously.

"I'm just a little stressed right now," the guy admitted. "If I don't pass my maths exam tomorrow I'll lose my scholarship and then I'll never-" He winced. "Sorry, shouldn't unload that on you."

"It's quite alright," Logan said, carefully. "Do you require assistance? I've worked as a maths tutor in the past, perhaps I could-"

"Could you?" the guy asked, hope in his eyes. Logan nodded, and scooted over towards him. "Oh, thank you, thanks so much!"

"Keep your voice quiet," Logan said. "Remember we are in a library."

"Oh, right." He looked a little embarrassed, but Logan chose not to focus on that.

"Now, what do you need help with?" Logan inquired.

The man stared at the paper in front of him. "Uh. All of it?"

"Ah. Well-" Logan began to explain the concepts on the guys questions - which he'd had on his phone, so that explained why he'd been checking it every few seconds - and tried to point out and explain the many, many mistakes that he had made so far. They spent a while going over the topics, eventually moving onto more material that the guy was also struggling with. Logan, of course, had no problem with this - whilst it was a bit of a shame that he couldn't continue his rather interesting research on black holes, he also quite enjoyed teaching, sharing his knowledge, and if it helped this guy then Logan would be happy.

When their study session finally came to an end, the man looked far less stressed, and rather grateful for Logan's help. "Thank you," he breathed, "thank you so much."

"Do you understand everything a little better?" Logan asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. That was- That was really helpful."

Logan smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

"I'm Roman, by the way," he said.

"Logan," Logan returned. "Do you attend the college?"

Roman nodded. "Yeah. I'm majoring in Performing Arts, but had to retake maths because... well, you can probably tell."

It was clear that Roman didn't want to talk about it, so Logan didn't dig. "I major in Science."

"Cool." Roman didn't sound like he really cared, but that didn't bother Logan. "Do you have a phone?"

Logan nodded. "Yes?"

"Mind if I take your number?" Roman requested. "In case I, uh, need more help. Unless it's too much of a bother, that is."

"Oh, no, it's not a bother at all." Logan took his phone out his pocket and handed it over to Roman, allowing him to put in his own number.

"Oh, love your case," Roman mentioned, as he handed Logan the phone back.

Logan hummed, then his eyes widened. He forgot that he had his pride case on - a simple rainbow flag, with an ace heart in the centre. Usually he stuck to his plain case, still unsure if this city was completely queer-friendly - his previous city hadn't been so accepting, and he hadn't been attending this college for so long - but he'd put it on the night before after a sudden spurt of confidence, and apparently forgot to switch it before heading out that morning.

"Thank you," Logan said, quickly putting his phone away. He considered Roman, noticing a rainbow pin on his jacket. Oh - perhaps Roman was queer as well. A small smile grew on his face. "I like your pin, as well." He hadn't actually met another queer person at the college yet, the only other queer person he knew at all being his nonbinary friend Patton, from back home. Of course, Roman might have just been wearing it to show his support, but Logan wanted to believe otherwise.

"Would you like to meet up some other time?" Roman asked. "Like, not as a maths thing?"

Logan's smile grew wider. "Yes, I think I would like that."

"I'll message you, yeah?"

"Yes, that sounds good."

Roman stood up, gathering his books and notes. "Well, thank you, again. See you soon?"

Logan nodded. "Yes. See you soon."

After Roman walked away, Logan let out a breath he hadn't been aware that he'd be holding. Huh. This could be interesting.

#prideprompts2020 #sanders sides #thomas sanders #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #my fanfic #my writing

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romansrace · 3 years

Text

WHAT IF: The Season 13 queens competed in Season 3′s challenges

As I raised in my previous post, in retrospect I feel that one of the weakest aspects of season 13 was not simply that the queens were less talented than in the previous year; but more so that the challenges of season 13 - that leaned heavily towards dance and performance - did not suit this cast, and especially not the members of the cast favoured by production, who leaned more towards fashion and acting at the top of their skillset.

So this series is going to put the queens of season 13 through their paces in some other past seasons of the show, with a few modifications to bring up the style of those seasons towards the modern format.

All make sense? Then let’s hit it, below the cut:

Season 3 kicked off with the Gone with the Window design challenge, calling for the queens to make gowns from curtains. All queens entered together with no split premiere. Immediately this nixes the bad blood in the group from the Porkchop twist and will see the queens building more natural rivalries based on location, taste and reputation. As it’s a design challenge with unconventional materials, I see Utica, Gottmik and Denali doing best in this challenge. Kahmora will do well but her timing will drag her down, while Rose is likely to have questionable taste level. Symone and Lala Ri will struggle, but, like season 9, this will be a challenge with winner and highs, but no other placements or elimination. Mik and Utica lipsync for the win to “The Right Stuff” and I see Utica winning.

E1 DESIGN WIN Utica TOP2 Mik HIGH Denali NO ELIMINATION

The second episode is the Queens in Space acting challenge, which the queens will complete in teams. For ease of prediction, I’ve assumed the teams will take roughly their season 13 splits - logically, Tina, Gottmik and Kandy will have bonded, as well as Symone, Lala and Olivia, making a 6. In the other team, Kahmora and Denali go back a long way, and Rose and Denali would have hit it off. I don’t see Elliott or Utica making a splash with the winners’ circle, while Tamisha will be avoiding Lala and Joey Jay Kandy, so the ex-Porckchops will be the 7 this time. I see Kandy and Symone stealing the show as the two-headed alien and leading their team to the win. Meanwhile in the other team, we know Denali and Kahmora struggled in the first acting challenge, as did Elliott. For drama’s sake, a B2 of friends Denali and Kahmora is guaranteed, and we know how that goes from season 13 - Kahmora sashays away following the performance of “Bad Romance”.

E2 Acting (Space) WIN Kandy + Symone HIGH winners team from s13 LOW Elliott B2 Denali + Kahmora OUT Kahmora

Episode 3 is the Fitness Video challenge, where the queens have to do a fitness routine with comedy elements. Knowing Ru’s sense of humour, there’s no doubt in my mind that Kandy Muse wins this challenge. Highs will go to Rose and Denali for energetic routines. I see Tamisha and Gottmik struggling most in this challenge and lipsyncing in the B2, and I see production keeping Gottmik. The lipsync song this time is “Don’t Leave Me This Way” and the drama of Kandy winning and her best friend being in the B2 would be irresistible.

E3 Fitness WIN Kandy HIGH Denali + Rose B2 Mik + Tamisha OUT Tamisha

Episode 4 is the News Show acting-improv challenge. I think Olivia Lux has the right kind of bright, bubbly character to excel at and win this challenge, while Rose and Symone would also be funny. From past performance, Elliott, Utica and Lala Ri would struggle with this challenge, and Joey Jay would have been flagging for several episodes now. I see a Lala and Joey B2 with Lala eviscerating Joey to “Meet Me in the Ladies Room”.

E4 News Show WIN Olivia HIGH Symone + Rose B2 Joey + Lala OUT Joey

Snatch Game goes pretty much as it did in OG S13, with Mik winning and Utica knocking out Elliott in the B2, while Denali and Rose place High.

E5 Snatch Game WIN Mik HIGH Denali + Rose B2 Utica OUT Elliott

Episode 6 is the cake-and-clothes design challenge. Once again I see Utica winning this challenge with something incredibly creative, while Olivia, Mik and Denali place High. Symone and Lala will fall apart this challenge and be the bottom 2. The lipsync - “Knock on Wood” would be legendary, but I don’t see the show saving Lala over Symone and so she sashays away in 9th place.

E6 Cake design WIN Utica HIGH Olivia, Mik + Denali LOW Tina B2 Symone + Lala OUT Lala

Episode 7 is the Standup challenge. I think Rose wins this one to save Kandy having three wins by midseason. Kandy and Mik will place High. The bottom two will be Utica and Olivia who both originally fell apart in this challenge. Symone will do badly too but having just saved her they will want to avoid her placing B2 again straight away. This lipsync is “MacArthur Park” and I see Ru calling this the double shantay of the season.

E7 Standup WIN Rose HIGH Kandy + Gottmik B2 Olivia + Utica DOUBLE SHANTAY

Episode 8 is the Patriotic Message episode. I see Symone acing this challenge and grabbing her second win, especially after two episodes of placing in the B3. In season 3 this episode had four highs and four lows which I will maintain here, with Olivia, Kandy and Denali placing High and Rose, Gottmik, Tina and Utica being the bottom 4. I see Utica and Tina doing the worst. This time, Tina eliminates Utica in the B2 as it is now her third B2 and Tina’s first.

E8 Patriotism WIN Symone HIGH Denali, Olivia + Kandy LOW Rose + Gottmik B2 Tina + Utica OUT Utica

Episode 9 is the Singing Performance challenge. Rose is a shoe-in to win this while singers Tina, Kandy and Olivia will place High. I see Symone placing Low and Denali and Gottmik - who I don’t think are singers, correct me if I’m wrong - falling into the B2. Symone could also B2 if Denali can sing. In either case, Gottmik is eliminated here in her second LSFYL.

E9 Singing performance WIN Rose HIGH Kandy, Olivia + Tina LOW Symone B2 Denali + Gottmik OUT Gottmik

Episode 10 is the season’s first Ball, the Hair Ball. As this is a modern Drag Race season now, only the last look will be constructed by the queens in the werkroom. I see Denali doing well here and placing High, along with Olivia and Symone who will showcase their natural hair and cultural pride. Symone might also throw in some Ru references with her looks. I see Olivia Lux gaining her second win here. The bottom 3 will be Rose - who I think might have questionable taste level at this stage of the competition, Kandy and Tina. Kandy and Tina lipsync to “Even Angels” and Tina is now eliminated.

E10 Hair Ball WIN Olivia HIGH Denali + Symone LOW Rose B2 Kandy + Tina OUT Tina

Episode 11 is the makeover. In season 3, the queens made over straight jock guys into drag sisters. I see Symone winning this challenge, as she did in the original season 13. Kandy Muse and Denali are High - Denali I see being able to bond with her jock. She also may place High by default because she won’t do as badly as Olivia and Rose who are a clear B2. We know how this lipsync goes, and Olivia eliminates Rose in 5th place.

E11 Makeover WIN Symone HIGH Kandy + Denali B2 Olivia + Rose OUT Rose

Episode 12 is the Money Ball, this season’s top 4 episode. Denali and Olivia are the best designers remaining, and I see Denali finally getting this win in the final episode with more interesting silhouettes than the other girls. Ru announces a three-way lipsync between the other queens, but then announces them all Safe proceeding to the Final. (Despite Symone probably doing atrociously in the design challenge!)

E12 Money Ball WIN Denali All others lipsync and all 4 pronounced SAFE

Finally we have the finale episode with these track records:

E13 Rumix/Finale Track records Olivia 2 WIN, 2 B2 Kandy 2 WIN, 1 B2 Denali 1 WIN, 2 B2 Symone 3 WIN, 1 B2

Assuming a lipsync for the crown format, I see Symone beating either Kandy or Olivia in round 1, and Denali beating the other. Then, in the top 2 lipsync, a song will be chosen in which Symone can beat Denali - probably a power ballad the likes of Shackles, which originally knocked her out in season 13. Symone with the most wins and least B2s also has the best track record.

However, this season shows the queens’ strengths much better. Symone is much less dominant, with only three wins and two Highs, tempered by a B2 and two Lows. Denali has two B2s but also a record 7 Highs. Olivia makes it into top 4 with a much better track record of four Highs accompanying her two wins. And Kandy has two wins along with four Highs and only one B2 placement. Utica also netted two wins before being eliminated, while Gottmik was able to win a lipsync and demonstrate versatility. I think that this season might have been a better storyline, too! ~Roman

#what if #rpdr13 #drag race season 13 #symone #kandy muse #gottmik #rose #denali #season 3 #romansrace #drag race what if #fantasy drag race #rpdr3

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ladyjanstories · 3 years

Text

Why does Pride matter?

Because I thought of getting a Pride magnet for my car (not important but I don’t like bumper stickers) and I worried about someone keying my car. (Also not important but I got a magnet covering a lot of things I support because screw that fear) but I worried about a car magnet.

I remember watching a program about how “it gets better” and one guy told the story of his dad beating him to get the gay out. It finally got to the point that he told his dad that he’d have to kill him because he couldn’t be not gay. The dad walked away. But that isn’t a story of bravery. It’s a story of desperation, a final plea to end it on way or another. And I know these things still happen. Because parents and society can beat others down without fists. There’s the mental mobbing of telling others that they’re “lesser,” that it’s not normal, it’s sin and dirty and wrong…

I watched the show Shadowhunters & I liked the relationship story of Alec & Magnus. The show, at first, seemed to gloss over their first time. I didn’t have a problem with it since I like tv/book relationships that focus on more than just sex scenes— especially since I found tv had an unfortunate record of gay people hooking up with random strangers while straight people generally had relationships. So I mention this on Twitter as part of the social media discussion and a lovely person explained representation in this case, that straight couples get sexy scenes and gay pairings get kisses & implied action— we had a good discussion which is why I like social media. Next episode, a straight couple are getting undressed and definitely going to get busy— far more than the gay couple. (The show did have an episode showing much more of the first time for Malec and, as it was only 2 eps later, that had always been the plan as it worked better for the story to show it that way).

And so, here’s me: comfy, not worrying someone is going to insult me because of who I love, big concern was a car magnet, and I can watch any show and see society’s idea of a normal relationship.

And out there: there’s someone hurting because society/family/religion/culture is still beating them down. Their big concern is someone finding out— there are still places that will legally kill you for this. They watch shows, and it’s better, but it’s still not every show where they can see what their relationships can be.

And there’s people out there complaining because “that’s all you hear now, gay this and gay that.” They’re annoyed because “of course there has to be one gay couple in this show.” They moan about political correctness because “it’s a joke but suddenly no one can take a joke” which completely ignores the fact that before people had to laugh at the “joke” that was always offensive or risk being beat mentally or physically or professionally or all three. They grumble about parades and go on about how “it’s not a big deal anymore because the world’s gone gay” and maybe “people wouldn’t make such a big deal if we didn’t make it into one” while conveniently ignoring the numerous parades & celebrations that aren’t needed because kids aren’t killed over liking Santa Claus or excluded from jobs/promotions/events and friendships because they were born in Canada & that’s why they’re Canadian. They groan about “labels” because apparently having dozens of ways of saying or implying Sex was fine, but trying to explain/define all the different ways people approach relationships that may or may not have sex is just too much. They openly complain about how it was so much “simpler” before labels and parades because, in their limited experience and perception, one could be gay and “we didn’t make a big deal about it and it was fine” and “we didn’t care” but “now it’s all these labels that don’t even make sense and probably confuse everyone,” and “no one has a sense of humour anymore,” and “no one’s ‘just gay’ anymore they gotta be trans or bi or ace or whatever else they’ve made up”— easily missing that their personal experience missed the kid they knew being afraid to come out or the bearings behind doors or inside churches or the overwhelming and repeated message that they weren’t normal.

So why does Pride matter?

Because I can write this long-ass post and no one can honestly say “that doesn’t happen.”

#pride month #pride 2021

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sazandorable · 4 years

Text

things I wanna see in ace fanworks!

It’s Ace Week!

And there’s huge variety among the aspec community (spectrum! that’s what it means!), so here’s a post about a variety of things I’d love to see more in fanworks involving asexual characters!

(I’m especially thinking of Jon from The Magnus Archives and Zolf from Rusty Quill Gaming, but this should easily apply across fandoms!)

I’ll try not to repeat it every line but: blanket disclaimer that this is very much a “what I feel, what I want, me, personally” post. Others (including other asexual people) might feel differently, and that’s perfectly okay. That’s kind of the point of this post! This is absolutely not a “here’s the one correct way to write all ace characters that all ace people will enjoy and agree with” Rules post — on the contrary, this is partly in reaction to seeing other people say that they dislike seeing, or don’t dare create, things that I, personally… desperately want to see, actually.

CW: this post will contain references to many common sources of trauma for asexual people, such as aphobia, partner abuse and rape, as well as sex (in general and sometimes in specifics) and asexual people having sex.

So! I, personally, love and would love to see more...

Fanworks by all sorts of asexual creators

No matter what your specific experience is, it is important, and your getting to create and share art about it is important, and you deserve to get that, and there are people interested in seeing it. And the same is true for all the other aces with different experiences, too.

Variety! Room for all of us! Share your experience happily, and let other aces happily share theirs!

Fanworks by allosexual creators

I’m so happy you’re interested in asexuality and in depicting it! I do want my experience to be normalised and seen as a normal thing that anyone can find interesting and relatable, even allosexual people. If you don’t mean to be an asshole about it, if you’re generally interested in exploring asexuality and you’re doing it from the heart, thinking of asexual people as people — then I want to see it, and I want you to be able to give a try to creating or consuming whatever you want, and I do not want you to be attacked for doing it.

Of course, you might still unwittingly fuck up, and people might still get hurt, and truly hurtful things should still be pointed out in order to be improved on; but I want us as a community to help creators up instead of shouting down, and I hope you continue putting thought into creating fanworks involving ace characters.

Keep reading for some tips and suggestions of things to think about, to keep in mind and to look into to improve your representing of us and our experience of it!

Extremely specific, different, kinda weird, niche, Problematic™ content, from creators of any identity (including questioning!), who are wary about sharing it because they think that there’s no audience for it, or that they’re not allowed, or that it’s a bad and evil way to represent asexuality

I want to see that, I’d be thrilled if you did it, I hope you do it, and I want a fandom environment in which you can do that safely because you deserve to. Of course, make sure to provide good tagging and CW!

Awareness that asexuality is a wide varying spectrum of experiences and there is no One Correct or More Valid Way to depict it

Awareness that even people with the same identity, label and life experiences might want to create or consume different things

Permission for everyone to create whatever they like, so long as it’s just done earnestly

No shaming, gatekeeping, accusations of fetishising, etc.

There are newbie writers who will never learn if they’re scared away from trying; there are people who haven’t yet figured out that they are in fact ace and never will if they’re not allowed to explore it safely; there are ace people who consume ace content to feel good about themselves; there are ace people who create ace fic in order to explore complicated, hard, unpleasant experiences and feelings; there are ace people whose experiences do not match stereotypical narratives I’ve most seen brandished around, and those people are just as ace and just as allowed to create and consume whatever they want; I do not want to foster a fandom environment in which people must out themselves and offer up their experience to scrutiny in order to be “allowed” to write certain topics; etc., etc.

Over the past two years, I’ve regularly seen a lot of yelling along the lines of “this work includes x and not x because this character is ace!” or “this fic I just read is the only valid ace fic” or “oh my god everyone look at this, this is the perfect ace fic”. A lot of it comes from a place of defensiveness and/or pride, ace people happy and proud to share something that was, finally, pinning down their experience. That’s awesome! ... For them. There are plenty of other asexual people who don’t relate to or enjoy those narratives — in fact, all the ones I’m thinking of squicked me hard, despite being made by ace creators and accurate to (an) ace experience, and I would be really unhappy if all ace fanworks was like those. Meanwhile, plenty of stuff I enjoy gets accusations of being fetishising.

So it would do a world of wonder for me and my experience of ace fanworks if those things could be internalised by the fandom as a whole!

Clear distinction between “being asexual” and “not interested in sex”, ”sex-repulsed” or “not having sex”

Those can and often do overlap, but the word “asexual” just means “experiencing little or no sexual attraction”!

In fanworks about an ace character, the two are generally linked and the reason a character doesn’t want to have sex tends to be that they’re ace, but the shorthand and immediate assumption that “being ace” automatically and always means “never having sex” or “hating the concept of sex” always feels a little weird to me.

This goes both ways — even if your aspec character is very sexually active and enjoys it, or if they’re demisexual and currently experiencing attraction to their partner, etc. — they’re still a person who experiences little to no sexual attraction in their daily life, they’re still aspec in a way that can be depicted and that I can be made to feel.

On AO3, widespread use of the tag “Canon Asexual Character”…

There are different views on the “correct” way to use that tag, in part because… what's the point of it? Should we use it in every single fic in which the Archivist appears, because he happens to be ace in the canon, even if it doesn’t come up in the fic?

IMO, it is helpful — it indicates to me that the author wrote their story with that character’s asexuality in mind, and it informed their writing of that character. Personally, I use it on fics where it feels “relevant” even if it doesn’t come up, such as a fic from Martin’s POV about Jon not being very touchy-feely (even though it doesn’t specify that that is because Jon is ace), but not a fic from Jon’s POV in which they’re happily living together but it’s not about the physical specifics of their relationship (even though in my head that relationship is non-sexual, but I could have written this specific fic the exact same way if Jon wasn’t ace).

The use or non-use of the tag can also simply help distinguish fanworks that were created and posted before that revelation, and did not depict that character as ace because the creator genuinely wasn’t aware of it.

… but also more detail than that, for instance: tagging the “shade of ace” the character is written as

A few examples:

#aroace Jon

#demisexual biromantic Jon

#greysexual nonbinary Jon

#sexually active kinky asexual Jon

#sex-positive low-libido Jon

#touch-averse Jon

#sex-uninterested ace demiromo Jon in happy QPR with Martin

#sex-repulsed sub Jon gets creative

#aspec Jon experiences sexual attraction for the first time and it’s for freaking Elias of all people oh God oh no

etc., etc.

Those are VERY different things! There’s some I’d be delighted to read, some I’m not interested in, and some that would actively squick me personally for personal reasons but I can think of some friends of mine that would be super happy to see it.

If you don’t know or aren’t sure of the exact terms, or if you wrote a relatively broad scenario and want to let people project any labels on it, you can also just describe what the situation is or how you depicted your character relating to things. That’s still very helpful. For instance:

#Jon doesn’t like kissing but cuddles good

#the struggle of NOT liking touching but craving intimacy

#Jon and Tim pointing at each other like spiderman meme, same hat?? how??

#Daisy and Basira have no idea how to explain their relationship and it’s none of your business

#Zolf is just tired and wants people to stop prying into his love life

etc., etc.

More awareness that there’s plenty of stuff about the ace experience that, while very common, can be squicky or even traumatic, and more tagging/warning about that

Here’s some other things that are common to the ace experience and commonly depicted in fanworks involving ace characters, and that can be genuinely upsetting and potentially triggering and traumatic, whether or not an ace person has encountered it in their own life (lots of CWs in this list, obviously):

encountering aphobia, even clueless and well-meaning

having internalised aphobia, aphobic thoughts, self-hatred, feeling broken or strange

social pressure to have sex or relationships, people being invasive or judgy about others’ love life, feeling disconnected from allo people

trying things out just to see

having sex

enjoying sex

forcing themself to have sex

referring to past sexual experiences as something that they didn’t enjoy

being emotionally pressured into having sex

wanting to please their partner despite not desiring sex

feeling an obligation to satisfy their partner

the prospect of romantic rejection for their asexuality

the idea that they must earn love

the idea that getting their boundaries respected is something exceptional and rare and an incredible sacrifice from their partner

being sexualised by someone else or the object of someone’s fantasies

wanting sex or experiencing sexual attraction for the first time

etc., etc.

Two concepts here that are both simultaneously true: 1) those are indeed very common to the real life experience of ace people, 2) it is possible to depict the ace experience without tackling any of that.

Of course, you can have all that! You can create content about that! That’s very relatable for a lot of people, and that last one, for instance, can in fact be an accurate and important depiction of demisexuality. But it’s also not a given that a fictional work about asexuality will/should depict it, and not a given that all ace people looking for ace content will want to see any item from that list. So please, give content warnings for all that, too.

It would be a tremendous help in curating and improving my experience if this could become a widespread habit — I have lost count of the amount of fics tagged as fluffy that I had to backbutton out because they suddenly threw in something really depressing that I, personally, didn’t want to see happen to a character I project on (while other readers found catharsis, validation and kinship in seeing their experience represented accurately!).

If it does come up, tags about what comes up

Beyond the content warnings for clearly traumatic stuff, is there “#Discussion of asexuality”? Is it “#Coming out as asexual”, or “#Jon discovers the existence of asexuality”? Is there “#Acephobia” (“#Accidental”? “#Casual”? “#Internalised”?)? Is there “#Explanation of asexuality to a clueless partner”, or “#Jon’s partner tells him about asexuality”? Is there “#Relationship negotiation”?

Since, again, not all aces have the same experience, odds are that some people will JUMP happily on content depicting a specific experience which they relate to... and inversely: again, there’s some of that which I personally do not relate to and actively do not want to read.

Detailed tagging is a huge help for me to figure out if a fic about asexuality is going to squick me and make me sad for the evening because ah I am weird after all even amongst my brethren, or if it’s going to be, finally, my heart’s desire, what I’ve been craving for, and make my entire week. (Sidenote, thanks to good tagging I did find the perfect QPR fic I’d been yearning to read last week and I’m still thinking about it right now and so, so, so happy.)

Making it clear when an ace character is going to be having sex — beyond just the ship tag and rating

Reminder that a fic rating alone does not necessarily mean sex! A fic tagged just “#JonMartin” and rated Explicit could have them in a relationship and then an explicitly detailed scene in which Jon dies a excruciatingly gruesome death, or a graphic scene of Martin having some solo fun, or even another character, or a sex scene between another tagged ship.

With smut involving an ace character as with everything else, there are lots of us that do want to see it (for a wide variety of reasons), and obviously there are lots of us that desperately want to avoid it (but might be in the Explicit tag looking for smut involving other ships, or horror or whump content, etc.) — please help us know whether to click or not click!

The normalisation of not expecting/forcing anyone to do things they don’t actively want to do

There’s a relatively common thing in heartwarming ace fic where the ace character is surprised that their allo partner is fine with dating without having sex and the partner goes, “I love you, of course I’m fine with that” and the ace character is all oh, oh, oh I am loved and respected, did not expect that. Or an allo character saying “That’s fine, I don’t make you do anything you don’t want to do,” or “I don’t want to do anything unless you’re into it!”

And I see how it sounds nice and romantic. It probably is to many people. But it can also be extremely sinister and anxiety-inducing in its implications: what if the partner didn’t love the ace character quite that much? What did the ace character expect? If this is amazing and rare, then what was the baseline expectation? If this ace character has dated before, what were their past relationships like, for this to be surprising?

I end up running into it more in fluffy fanworks about asexuality than in fanworks that aren’t. Again — you can absolutely do that, but please tag/warn for it; even if it’s just in passing, in fluff fic it’s really not something I expect from the genre. Even though I might sometimes be specifically in the mood to read an exploration of that, in dark fic or in hurt/comfort fic!

And now for more specific stuff I wanna see in stories:

This last bit is intended as both an encouragement for people who want to create these things and think there’s no audience (there is!!), and as a box of ideas for people who have no idea how to depict the asexuality of characters but want to :3 Again, this is not in any way a statement that these are The Only Correct Way, or even things that all aspec people want to see, nor is it a diss at people who create, consume or want the exact opposite of these things — for that matter, some of the items on this list are mutually exclusive. It’s just my own tastes and literally just stuff I personally would love to see (more).

Ace character being single, happy to be single, and happily ace

Asexuality being written in but a complete non-issue, not discussed, not brought up, not even to reassure the ace character that It Is Fine

Ace character being flippant and snarky about their asexuality, making jokes and memes about it

Ace character not caring about other people’s perception of them at all

Ace character feeling only pride and happiness and comfort about that label

More than one ace character! Extra love for them having some similarities and also some differences!

Intersectionality: ace character being also aro, trans, nonbinary, bi or pan, polyamorous, kinky, a drag queen, a dom or sub, neurodivergent, disabled, non-white, … ; asexuality being just one part of their identity

Asexuality being queer and belonging to the LGBT+ community in itself; a character being cis, aro or heteroromantic, and ace, and “counting” as “queer enough”

Flirty ace character

Confident, self-comfortable ace character

Ace character considering their specific experience to be perfectly normal and not unique, if not typical

Ace character enjoying something that is commonly considered to be sexy or sexual, but it isn’t for them — such as wearing makeup or lingerie, going clubbing, pole-dancing, massages…

Ace character happily dating someone who is not aspec

I like the thought that it’s possible! I personally like this more than I like fanworks about two aspec people dating. I like it when the ace character is happy to adapt to their allo partner’s requirements and I like it when the allo character is happy to adapt to their ace partner’s requirements and I like it when there are things that just do not match perfectly and that doesn’t put an end to the relationship.

Ace character having a lot of experience dating

Partner(s) already knowing about asexuality and not needing to have it explained to them

Partners just being like “*shrug* okay”, without making it a big deal that they’re “giving up” sexual intercourse

Ace character crushing and getting flustered over physical but non-sexual aspects of their love interest’s looks

Big strong hands, nice jaw, strong nose, long eyelashes, lovely profile, silky hair, lovely eye-colour, delicate wrists, muscles, long legs, collar bone, shoulder blades, squishy stomach, peek of bellybutton, freckles, moles, scars, …

Ace character daydreaming about their love interest in ways that involve zero physical attraction, thoughts about how pretty or handsome they are, or desire to touch them

Jon pining for Martin and just wanting to talk with him, have tea with him, hang out with him… not seeing how Tim is good-looking but being attracted to his humour and nerdiness… missing his relationship with Georgie because it felt nice to cook together and share clothes and watch the telly together… Zolf missing Hamid’s fiery passion or Wilde’s awful puns… being attracted to Cel’s liveliness and inventiveness… being charmed by Azu’s emotional intelligence or her unwavering certainty in her faith…

Smut involving an ace character

No shaming of fellow real living people about that

Not going to go into it again because plenty of us have been talking about that in this fandom for two years now — bottom line is there do exist plenty of asexual people that 1) do have sex IRL, 2) do want to consume smut, can we please, as a community, move past the “this is not smut because this character is ace!” passive-aggressive attacks already. (“I depict this character as not having sex because he’s ace and I’m ace and it makes me happy” is fine! Just don’t imply that that’s the only way to be ace and that other people are wrong to want something else.)

Ace character enjoying sex

Ace character being completely neutral about having or not having sex

Ace character disliking sex in the same way they dislike, idk, coffee. No, absolutely not, thank you, no concession, not for me, but also it’s nothing traumatic or moral or uncomfortable.

Sex being just a thing, not a big deal, having or not having it not being all that important

Ace character enjoying the concept of sex, abstractly. Ace character consuming porn, writing porn, being fine discussing sex with friends, having a dirty mind — just not wanting to be involved in it

Ace character having fantasies that disturb them

Ace character feeling arousal and being just *shrug* about it, not particularly disgusted, just uninterested

Arousal, libido, or masturbation as something different and separate from sexual attraction and desire to sleep with someone or to be touched

Ace character being kinky af

Ace character having multiple partners and different sorts of relationships with each!

Open relationships

Non-sexual romantic relationships

Queerplatonic relationships

COMMITTED!!! NON-SEXUAL AND NON-ROMANTIC!!! PARTNERSHIPS!!! AAAAAA [sobbing emoji]

Non-sexual physical intimacy

Hand-holding! Playing footsie! Cuddles! Hugging! Kissing! Super heavy making out and getting aroused but no sex! Sharing a bed! Lying on top of each other! Bathing or showering together! Giving each other a haircut or a shave! Massages! Non-sexual nudity!

Non-physical intimacy

Committed couple having separate beds/rooms! Getting married! Being in love and not kissing or touching! Loving long-distance relationships! QPR! Affection and closeness expressed through speech, gifts, services, time, shared activities — wearing each other’s clothes, cooking together, long emotional conversations, trust and secrets, love letters, post-it notes, “thought of you” gifts, celebrating anniversaries with a candle-lit dinner, co-parenting...!

Sexual situations with no touching

(CW bit detailed:)

Sexting, cybersex, phone sex, dirty talking, reading or watching porn (alone or together), consensual voyeurism like watching their partner masturbate or have sex with someone else, kink using toys and accessories or scenes but with no actual touching, …

Romanticised consent and boundaries

An asexual character being super firm about what they do not want and their allo partner being thrilled about that trust and communication!! An allosexual partner trusting their asexual partner about what they want without infantilising them or doubting their capacity to establish their boundaries! “Wait, you always say you don’t like [x]?” “Yes, but I feel like it right now, as I assumed would be pretty clear from the fact that I am doing [x] right now :w” “Hey, just checking, sue me :w” “Yes, thank you :w”

Specific boundaries

Cheek kisses but no lip kisses, no PDA, not having sex where they’re also going to sleep, needing a shower immediately after sex, lights off only, …

(CW more detailed:)

… not caring about feeling or seeing their partner’s hard-on but not wanting to do anything about it, penetration but no oral, bottoming but not topping, giving a blowjob but not having their head held, being fine with extreme acts but not liking fluids, pet names but no dirty talk, dirty talk but no pet names, happy to pleasure their partner but not wanting to be touched, not wanting to come, being only into sex as part of extreme kink but not interested in vanilla sex, …

Shifting boundaries and consent

Ace character likes kissing or cuddles but only on their terms — they will come give their partner a kiss sometimes but bristle at being touched. Today is not a kissing day. Today this ace character is a bit down and would like a lot of physical affection and cuddling. Certain areas are off-limits for touching because this ace character is sensitive on their thighs, ticklish in their ribs, self-conscious about their scars. This ace character considers their chest non-sexual so that’s fine but do not pat their butt.

Today, exceptionally, this ace character is horny and feels like banging. Ace character feels like banging sometimes but is not in the mood right now, bye. Ace character feels like banging from eight to nine pm every second Thursday of the month, catch it or miss it. Couple shares a shower every morning and it’s never meant to be a sexual thing, but today the ace one is getting aroused and hey, you know what, they’d like to get off right now. This massage is fantastic but it’s getting overwhelming, so they ask to stop (but it was great!). Ace character is intrigued about this particular scenario/position/kink and wants to try it out, they do, it’s perfectly nice, but hmm, once was enough, they’re not interested in doing it again. Ace character sexts their partner all day but by the time their partner has got home, undressed and prepared and pulled out the strap, they’ve lost interest.

♠♥ Thank you for reading all this! Hope this inspires people so I get more stuff that makes me happy! ♥♠

#ace week #asexuality #representation #the magnus archives #rusty quill gaming #a lot more TMA than RQG though #writing #fanfiction #happy end of ace week everyone!

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theaceandaroadvocacyproject · 4 years

Text

TAAAP’s Response to an Open Letter

We welcome productive conversations between TAAAP and the communities we serve. We value honest critiques and will always strive to correct mistakes we make, and commit to doing good work. However, we do not engage in dishonest dialogue with those who refuse to address our actual stated and acted values, in favor of propping up a false and directly contradictory representation of our positions. We have written this response to address claims that concerns around our December Pride Chats topic were ignored, dismissed, or misunderstood. This will be our final response to Coyote on this matter.

Our first email responding to Coyote’s concerns was sent on November 30, and our last correspondence was sent on December 18. We made it clear that it was our last correspondence with:

“The topic has been decided and it will not be edited further. Like everyone, you will be free to share your thoughts during the December Pride Chats, as long as you follow the guidelines. Since we do not plan on changing the topic from what it is now, we will not be continuing this conversation through email. We have also expressed the core tenets of our stance through previous emails and see no need in reiterating those points, as that would simply be tiresome for all parties involved. We suggest rereading our previous emails for answers already given to your questions on this matter.” - 5th and final email

As the claims in Coyote’s Open Letter make it clear that our emails were either ignored or disregarded, we have chosen to take the route of responding to specific points in Coyote’s Open Letter with quotes from our emails, and adding clarification and emphasis when needed. We also only include quotes from emails sent by us, as we are not interested in publicizing Coyote’s emails without its consent. The block quotes from Coyote are from Coyote’s Open Letter, which was publicly posted on its blog.

Quotations from Coyote are labelled with an alphabet letter & indented with “blockquote” formatting. Quotations from our previous emails to Coyote, as well as the topic announcement from our website, are only italicized.

A) Because that’s the context from which the term “SAM” itself emerged. That itself is the birthplace of the phrase. You do not “use” “the SAM” any more than a bullseye “uses” an arrow.

In the first sentence, Coyote links to a post claiming this as the origin of the SAM (content warning for aphobia). The post speaks of the Split Attraction Model as a pre-existing concept and does not attempt to coin “SAM” in any way. Due to the difficulty of finding historical posts on Tumblr and forums, no one in the community has offered an earlier post that actually coins the term. Therefore, it cannot be determined what context the SAM actually emerged from. As of that post that is referenced, it was a pre-existing concept. It is a stretch to definitively claim this post as the “source” of the SAM.

We addressed that here:

“Several of us at TAAAP read through and adjusted the wording of this announcement prior to sharing it on the Discord server with the knowledge that while it is possible that the SAM may have been created by exclusionists, its exact origin is unknown and so it has been reclaimed and popularized by the ace and aro communities.” - 1st email

We also addressed this in the blog post of our Official Topic Announcement on our website, which was posted on December 19th before the Open Letter was posted:

“If a term may violate our guidelines, due to being rooted in exclusionist or other harmful ideology, do not assume that everyone is aware of its harmful origins or that they espouse those ideas. Many terms have been reclaimed, used without bad intention, or simply used without knowledge of other people using them in harmful ways.” - Official Topic Announcement on TAAAP Website, emphasis added

B) But you already know that, or so you say. You are comfortable with treating those issues as over and done with, and having personally acclimated yourself to the language, you believe no other issues with the phrase itself remain.

In nearly every email we sent, we described those issues as ongoing.

“While it may not always have a coherent or consistent meaning in these communities, it is still something that is widely referenced and that many people have at least a vague conceptualization of.” - 4th email, emphasis added

“Also, due to the prevalence and often-presumed universality of the SAM, we believe it is important to name it so as to specifically encourage conversation about it. We believe it will be worthwhile for discussion to include it, so that both positive and negative viewpoints of it can be shared, and alternatives can be offered. Many people are on distinctly one side of discussion about the SAM, and some do not even know of the existence of the other side, so engaging in discussion with people who hold different views can be useful in how individuals move forward with their own identities and participation in their communities. “ - 4th email

“The full sentence is ‘We also will require that all participants in the conversation respect others' personal choices and feelings surrounding any particular attraction and orientation model or lack thereof, including people who object to there being a binary of SAM and non-SAM.’ (Emphasis added) While some people do treat SAM and non-SAM as a binary, this is not a view we are interested in spreading.” - 4th email, quotes our prompt, emphasis was present in this email

Regarding the accusation of TAAAP members being personally acclimated to the language, we refer to this:

“These kinds of criticisms are necessary for communities to address issues within themselves, especially when those issues are so common. One motivation behind choosing this topic is to address the far too common issues with the SAM, and offer room to discuss diverse and inclusive perspectives, as many people, including members of TAAAP, have been harmed by those who use the SAM to identity police. Not discussing these topics at all, as we have previously stated, can leave people of the dominant perspective ignorant of other perspectives, allowing divisions to grow without any chances to understand and correct the issue. That being said, and as is written in the month’s topic, we also require respect for how people self identify, including seeing one’s own aromanticism as a subset of their asexuality, and using the SAM. “ -5th and last email, emphasis added

C) You have expressed an investment in opposing identity essentialism, which means the only part that’s missing for you is how one person’s own personal use of a term could be unfair to anybody else.

I will illustrate this with an example.

Hypothetically, say someone in the aro community decided to give a name to a completely legitimate type of aro identity or experience — nothing wrong with that. Hypothetically, say in order to express that identity, they start calling themselves a “pure aro.” Say the identity becomes a popular one, and say there’s also some aros who speak up with objections. Now imagine those aros get told, “That’s okay, you don’t have to use the purity model.”

That would be messed up.

This hypothetical is something I’m assuming we’re on the same page about. If you can recognize that this “pure aro” construct would be a problem, regardless of what “pure aro” was chosen to represent, then you can understand how the language we choose for ourselves — even to represent completely legitimate things — can in fact be unfair to other people. In the same way that it would be wrong to refer to certain aros as “pure aros” or “impure aros,” it is wrong to refer to completely legitimate things as “SAM” or “non-SAM.”

We agree that the language of “pure aro” is inherently bad, in part because it implies an “impure aro” and in part because it assigns a morality to a specific identity, which can also be true with “split” and “non-split”, although to a lesser extent. “Pure” invokes religious oppression and purity culture, with the opposite of “pure” generally being “sinful”. This degree of connotation does not exist for “split”. We say this not to dismiss the real harm people experience in relation to the SAM, but to highlight the false equivalence in the hypothetical.

In fact, we did at one point address someone in the Pride Chats who used the term “complete aro” by pointing out the potential harm that does to other aro-spectrum people who are just as completely aro as someone who experiences no romantic attraction at all.

We do agree that another issue with the SAM is its perceived universality, which forces labels onto people without their consent. We stated our view of this issue here:

“[S]ome people do understand themselves through use of the SAM - [it does] not work for all, and when that isn’t understood is when identity policing, exclusion, and invalidation can occur. We are open to discussions of the harm done by universalizing identity models in the Pride Chats.” - 5th and final email, some words removed to account for privacy concerns and to avoid quoting Coyote.

Many terms used by LGBTQIA+ individuals were originally coined and used by their oppressors or were slurs. Some terms are sometimes used in harmful and exclusionary ways, and have different meanings for the different individuals that use them. Writing off a term or idea as completely bad and assigning moral value to it is harmful to those who are not aware of its history, have reclaimed it, or find positive aspects of the term with which to identify. We believe it is possible to recognize the harm that occurs from certain community practices while also not attacking people who do not intend to perpetuate that harm. Rather, we should focus on the harmful actions. We do not condone broad condemnation of all who identify with a term, simply because others weaponize or have weaponized that terminology to cause harm. People who have adopted widespread terminology to describe phenomena or identities should not be judged because others weaponize or weaponized that terminology, or for forgiving a potentially negative interpretation/aspect/connotation of said terminology for the comfort they find in using the positive aspects of it to describe themselves.

D) [...] it is wrong to refer to completely legitimate things as “SAM” or “non-SAM.”

This states that people are wrong to use the terms SAM and non-SAM. As shown by our message above, in multiple other messages, and in our Pride Chat guidelines, this is identity policing; it is not allowed in the chats and will not be espoused by TAAAP’s members. It’s not simply the experiences that are legitimate, but also identifying with the SAM or as non-SAM. This is not an acceptance of the SAM, or of a supposed binary of SAM and non-SAM, as a universal model that everyone must or should identify with, but rather an acceptance of some people’s personal identification with the term SAM or non-SAM. We conveyed this idea through email here:

“Also, we do not want to imply that we think using the SAM is not legitimate, as it is a model that many people use and relate to, and do so using that specific term.” - 4th email

E) 1) It’s not split. The word “split,” like the word pure, inherently sets up a contrast. It’s framing these things as only partial, splintered fragments of what they’re normally supposed to be. Categorizing my experiences of attraction as “split” attraction is like referring to me as a “split person” just because I’m not a conjoined twin. I wasn’t split off from anyone. I’m just like this. This is my own whole and natural way of being. “Split” language talks down to me as a lesser fragment of something else. Why should that be recognized as anything less than condescending?

If someone were to talk down to anyone in this way, that would go against our Discord guidelines and they would be warned, “timed out” if they continued, and banned if they continued after the time out, per our rules. Dictating how people can identify, whether by imposing labels on others or by demonizing others for identifying with certain labels, is identity policing. Different identities and conceptualizations of identities resonate for different people, and there is nothing wrong with this. This is also related to the issue of universalization, which we addressed above with the block quote C from Coyote. To be absolutely clear, people with the same or similar experiences are allowed to use different labels and models, likewise, people with differing experiences may resonate with the same labels and models. Additionally, people are never required to identify in opposition to or in relation to any label or model.

This was addressed here:

“Everyone uses different methods, models, and terminology to understand their own orientations. Some of these may not be ones that you personally agree with or would use, but you must respect others’ right to use the model or method they want. Similarly, you can discuss what you don’t like about any given model, method, or term, but be careful to only apply it to yourself or use “I feel” statements so as not to say what methods others should or should not use. Focus on critiquing the models and not how people make use of them or identify with them. The only models, methods, or terms we do not support are those that are culturally appropriative or violate our guidelines in some other way.

F) It’s not “attraction,” either. Too often I’ve seen people deploying “SAM” or “using the SAM” to misrepresent multi-orientation labeling, which is conflating “attraction” with “orientation.”

Some people do identify with an orientation based on their attraction. The legitimacy of people who do base their orientation on attraction as well as the various other ways people do not, is recognized in our official topic announcement, the final version of which was sent to Coyote before posting it to our website.

“The topic will be models of attraction and orientation, including the SAM (Split-Attraction Model), as well as understandings and models of orientation that do not center attraction, and any other potential ways of understanding attraction and orientation. We at TAAAP support any person using any kind of model, or no model at all, to identify their attraction or orientation. We also will require that all participants in the conversation respect others' personal choices and feelings surrounding any particular attraction and orientation model or lack thereof, including people who object to there being a binary of SAM and non-SAM. This discussion will explore why people use the SAM, use something else entirely, or use none.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

There are also people who use the SAM to only identify their attractions, and do not use it for their orientation(s). More broadly, we do not agree that it is essentialist or harmful for someone to identify with their own orientation(s) based on their own attraction(s). The harms that are related to self-identifying have been covered above under Quote C.

G) Frankly? It’s not even a model. It doesn’t model anything. It’s just an extra sticker over multiple preexisting models and concepts, chained together by conflation and essentialism.

The SAM does refer to multiple ideas. Many orientation models and identity terms have a level of ambiguity to them, and this is not unique to the SAM. We addressed the ambiguous nature of the term here:

“We do not strictly define the terms given in the topic, as the ambiguity can allow for segments of discussion that we cannot predict. The terminology 'the SAM' is popularly used enough that many people have their own varied personal understandings of it, and we recognize that this lack of continuity in what it means can open extra avenues of discussion. We know that many people identify with it or refer to it when speaking of their identities, and that others do not identify with it nor wish to use it as a reference point, and we want to leave room for people of all perspectives to talk about it (whatever they believe 'it' is) without correcting them for talking about the ‘wrong' thing.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

H) All this is why I recently had to gently shepherd an aro out of your “opting out of romantic orientation” channel.

This is elaborated upon later:

I) The TSAMM encourages a conflation between “romantic orientation” and “distinguishing romantic from sexual,” and the popularity of that conflation has so thoroughly undermined conceptual space for folks like me that you can outright name a channel “opting out of romantic orientation” and you’ll get people in there talking about how much they definitely do identify with a romantic orientation. Even in space deliberately set aside for me, the TSAMM renders the distinction incoherent.

As mods, we should have noticed this when it happened and addressed it then. After reading through the exchange, it was clear that this person was questioning and trying to find what term(s) they felt comfortable identifying their orientation with. The channels for different identities are open to people who are questioning, as well as those of other identities who are willing to ask questions and listen respectfully. While in our Pride Chats, it is expected that questioning people are respected and given space to question without being “shepherded” away.

J) I deserve better than this. Everyone deserves better than this. We deserve to get to have these conversations without the TSAMM getting in the way.

“TAAAP specifically does not feel comfortable avoiding discussing the term Split-Attraction Model, as it is common community terminology and many identify with it in a positive sense. We feel that it would be a greater disservice to beat around the bush than to allow people to discuss it, although we do understand that our wording can better reflect how we encourage discussion about various other orientation models/terminology, and to reflect the fact that participants will be welcome to share criticisms of the term 'SAM' as well.” -1st email, emphasis added

In this first email, we clarified the wording of the December topic to make it clear that the SAM was only one part of the topic, and to encourage discussion of more models and terminology.

“The terminology 'the SAM' is popularly used enough that many people have their own varied personal understandings of it, and we recognize that this lack of continuity in what it means can open extra avenues of discussion. We know that many people identify with it or refer to it when speaking of their identities, and that others do not identify with it nor wish to use it as a reference point, and we want to leave room for people of all perspectives to talk about it (whatever they believe 'it' is) without correcting them for talking about the 'wrong' thing.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

“We chose to name the SAM because of its wide use as an orientation model in the ace and aro communities, and regardless of personal use or opinion, the term contextualizes our topic for those generally unfamiliar with orientation models and theories.” - 4th email , emphasis added

“Not discussing these topics at all, as we have previously stated, can leave people of the dominant perspective ignorant of other perspectives, allowing divisions to grow without any chances to understand and correct the issue. That being said, and as is written in the month’s topic, we also require respect for how people self identify, [including] using the SAM.” - 5th and final email, some words removed to account for privacy concerns and to avoid quoting Coyote.

We would like to refer everyone to our guidelines for the Pride Chats. These will be updated with expectations around identity policing using parts of our Official Topic Announcement.

Also, we feel it worthwhile to address the overall complications inherent in pushing certain terminology and attempting to erase other terminology. Demanding such specific, unambiguous language makes the conversation inaccessible to some neurodivergent people, some people who speak English as a secondary language, and some people with a more casual or limited understanding of this terminology and the nuances of this intra-community conversation. Ace and aro people already struggle to access knowledge about these identities, and this policing of nuanced terminology provides another barrier to aro and ace people who want to understand and express themselves.

When someone identifies with a term, or wants to discuss a term, in TAAAP’s Discord server or on TAAAP’s Dreamwidth page, a safe space, we require that no one identity polices, attacks, nor harasses this person under the assumption that they should “know better”. Discussion and critiques of terms can be brought forward without assigning a certain morality to the people who use them. Discussion and critique can happen without condemning a person.

To suggest an alternative term or to write the SAM out of discussions does not change that many people are exposed to that terminology, and it has impacted their personal identities. The comments on Coyote’s Open Letter are all part of the discussion we always intended to have, and still will have in our Pride Chats Discord and Dreamwidth. As a reminder, our December 2020 Pride Chats will take place on the 26th and 27th and the topic is “models of attraction and orientation, including the SAM (Split-Attraction Model), as well as understandings and models of orientation that do not center attraction, and any other potential ways of understanding attraction and orientation”.

#long post

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lunawings · 3 years

Text

Minato’s Birthday PriZoom (8/21/21) commentary/report

Oh geez where to begin.

I originally intended to do two showings this time (which is one more then usual) but due to a last minute decision based on other poor decisions I ended up doing three which was the most I’ve ever done in a row! My translation of the bonus content is in a separate post.

Not only that but like... it kept putting me in the main screen up at the top too!! Like more than I’ve ever been up there! And I’m sure none of this was intentional, but I also happened to be positioned right next to a couple other people who also knew the traditional cyalume cheering stuff so that was really cool!

Heck I even made it onto the Mantan Web article apparently!!? (This is an official event photo.) Am I that recognizable even in blurry pixels? (Haha well I guess there’s the background too...)

I put a lot more concentration into my own cheering this time so I wasn’t clicking around to look at the other people in the room as much and thus I have fewer shoutouts to make.

I happened to catch a guy trying to balance TWO of the giant Shin mochikoros on his shoulders though?

And there was that guy hula-hooping to Kakeru’s entire performance!!??

And the person whose screen was just a cheering piece of celery.

The highlight was probably “Kouji’s Kitchen” though. A Kouji cosplayer who spent the entire show actively cooking.

I really admire the folks who make the actual food for these showings. I’ve been thinking I want to make pudding a la mode (probably the only KinPri food I could actually manage to make) if they do a Taiga showing next year but how would I keep it from melting during the show ahah ha... (Mashed potatoes I suppose?)

In the weeks leading up to the show I’d been wondering if we’d see any Minato cosplayers. I realized I’m not sure if I’ve actually EVER seen one at a showing (PriZoom or otherwise) as he’s not an easy character to do (what with body type and a lot of Kinpri cosplayers being female) but I think I saw at least two!

This was the first showing where I made an honest attempt to keep the soundboard on, largely because of @takadanobaba’s posts on it, but also just because it’s our STYLISH NEW ABNORMAL (...watch Idol Land PriPara). Ever since they introduced it, traditional cheering has gotten quieter and quieter with long periods of silence except for big moments like Over the Rainbow’s prism jumps. (And what is King of Prism when you’re actually able to hear it.)

So I tried it, really I did. And as I was saying, I can somewhat see the appeal. People are finding ways to use it creatively to bring out that same brand of humor that makes traditional cheering so fun. I turned it on and off during Pride the Hero and the first half of SSS Part 2. The best and worst moment I had with it came during episode 5 however, when Ace kabedon’d Miyo and Joji pulls up in the car.

D-DDDDD-D-DDDD-D-DDDDDDD-DD-DDD-DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEETAAAAAAAAAA

“But Joji is my star!”

KKKKKK-KK-KKKKKKKK-KKKK-KKKKKKKKKK-KKKAAAAKKKKKKKKKKOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Imagine that but like too fast and too loud for your brain to actually interpret what’s going on.

So that was... that was... that. (Thinking of how it will be at Joji’s actual birthday next month is giving me chills.)

I did turn it back on briefly during Best Ten while Platonic Sword was on. And for some reason I can’t quiiiite comprehend it was a grand chorus of ORE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Okay, okay on to the meat. This showing had the BIGGEST bonus of all. Masashi Igarashi appeared for a “talk show” at two of the showings.

One of the first things he pointed out was how, unlike traditional theater greetings, he could see all of our faces individually. And then he actually clicked through all of our video feeds and made comments!!!! (Tatsuyuki Kobayashi didn’t do that.)

Throughout the first session he actually directly acknowledged me THREE SEPARATE TIMES. The first time was when he recognized that I had S-Pulse Dream Plaza as my background. (The real life location in Shizuoka where Minato saw Kouji for the first time.) The second time was when I pasted a message into the chat about being his American fan and HE ACTUALLY READ IT! The third time was during the All Stars Playback when they put me on the screen and he thanked me in the chat again for putting up Dream Plaza.

I’m really happy I put in the effort to do a meaningful background!

All of a sudden I’m inspired to do more for each character. It was years before King of Prism existed, but I did go to Okayama once. I’m thinking I might need to sort through some old photos before Joji’s showing.

Anyway.

Masashi-san didn’t really seem to have anything planned out to say. He just kinda played off us when he could and rambled for a while about how great Minato and King of Prism is and all that. I think he’s a bit better when he has someone else to play off of. (Junta usually ends up being his straight man.) I don’t even know if he knew what he was saying half the time hahah.

The part that really stuck with me though was when he was talking about how there was such a large concentration of Minato fans here, but then he corrected himself as that’s not necessarily true since King of Prism fans cheer for everyone. So instead of camps for certain characters, he suggested we should do “club activities” as a fandom and since so many people brought vegetables to the showing we were the vegetable club.

This was followed by a rush of puns in the chat like VegetaBU (”bu” is Japanese for club).

Another official photo from Mantan web. I love it when they show the “behind the scenes”.

I didn’t realize the second session of the greeting would be starting at the beginning of the next showing, even though that is how they usually do it for theater greetings (so the voice actor doesn’t have to wait around through another movie). It’s kind of odd that they had two different sessions actually, since pretty much everyone had the opportunity to do both as the tickets didn’t come close to selling out. But more money for them either way I guess. He actually changed shirts in between hahah. (From one Minato shirt to another.)

But anyway, when he suddenly came up on the screen again I was actually in the middle of trying to change the batteries in my cyalumes ahahah. And it put me up top of the main screen AGAIN! I kinda wanted to switch my camera off so someone else could get a chance but I didn’t want to seem rude for disappearing either!!!

Eventually I did turn my camera off, giving up my space, because my cyalume blades were all DYING from having been on CONSTANTLY since the beginning of Pride the Hero and I didn’t want it to seem like I was checking my phone or something while I was changing the batteries. (One of them ended up cutting out during Best Ten anyway because in my mad scramble to change the batteries I guess I put the old ones back in haha.) That felt like the right decision since I crashed and burned pretty hard during the middle of Best Ten. (Cheering fatigue is rare for me but I was pushing 24 hours being awake at this point...) I also sure heck didn’t want to be up there during Love Graffiti BUT I didn’t do as bad as I thought. The drills I did without the video before the showing paid off! I’m so happy I’m finally learning it after all this time. Take THAT two year depression spiral.

Although this showing was lively, I have to admit it didn’t quite meet my overinflated expectations, though. I don’t think either room broke 200 people at any point during the showing. I could have sworn at least ONE showing I went to in the past did... I think the Shin/Louis one maybe... but looking through my past posts I can’t find a mention of it. ...Wait, even if that’s true I guess it doesn’t count since we only had one room back them. Mmmrhghg.

I do have pretty high hopes for the next few months though because Joji and Hiro are EXTREMELY popular characters.

So you. YES YOU! The person who somehow read this entire post and is now somewhat regretting skipping out on this one. YOU CAN DO IT! I’ll see you are the next one right? RIGHT?? OKAY!!

#king of prism #kinpri #minato takahashi

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lesvegas · 5 years

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This is pride month, ace and aro aren't LGBT. LGBT is about sexual attraction and aro/ace people don't have that. Don't get mad people don't include your special snowflake flags prude.

If it’s just about sexual attraction, why is the T there? Why not just say LGB? /sarcasmBut you’re right, I’m not welcome at pride. That’s why when I tried to attend pride last Sunday, people called me ‘prude’ and told me to leave.Except, y'know, they didn’t. Because aspecs are more than welcome at pride. I can’t speak for everywhere, but where I’m from, the common acronym is LGBTQAI2S+ (the 2S is for Two-Spirit). I’ve even seen it as 2SLGBTQIA+. The community you see at pride is a loving, healing one, and I genuinely can’t think of a more positive space. It’s the complete opposite of the hell you see on this website. Nobody tries to tear each other down, no one picks at each other’s identities and no one tells anyone they’re not welcome (except for disrespectful/hateful cishets).I could elaborate on the intricacies of aspec identities and why 'prude’ is an inaccurate term (and also how aspecs ARE LGBTQ+), but I know that’ll just go through one ear and out the other. So instead, I’m just gonna show some simple but wonderful pictures and an article that prove that not only are aspecs welcome in the community, but have ALWAYS been there.Here’s an excerpt from Trans Liberation News Letter, published in October, 1970, a mere year after the Stonewall Riots 50 years ago.

And here’s a recent photo of the Stonewall Inn itself, the birthplace of Pride. Note the asexual flags up there.

And here’s an article by Latonya Pennington at pride.com called Asexuals Shouldn’t Be Excluded From Queer Spaces, Especially Pride, published June 1st 2018 (content warning for mentions of corrective r*pe and assault)Also… I don’t get angry when my flag isn’t included. I get suspicious. Because almost every single time aspec flags are missing from a line of merch or edits or in a post, it’s because the op hates us. It has been proven time and time again. I’m not angry, just very tired. It’s pretty clear that we belong in the community and always have.On one final note; we’ve always been queer, we’ve always been here, and we’re still not going away anytime soon. Happy Pride.

#pride month #pride 2019 #asexuality #aromanticism #sorry i couldnt find much mentions/pics of aromanticism #the article mentions aromanticism but mostly as a companion identity to asexuality #the a is for aces aros and agender #ace positivity #ace history

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gingerwritess · 5 years

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WAIT ELLIOT’S GONNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MORGAN?????

ew, no, Morgan Potts-Stark is gross.

And annoying.

(Wait wait wait, this isn’t a hate post at all, keep reading you fool.)

She laughs too loud, she calls him names—especially Elli; “that’s not my name, Morgan”—she laughs when he gets hurt, blames him for things when Tony or Pepper catches them getting into trouble...she’s a pain.

But...as gross and annoying as Morgan is, she is fun, Elliot can’t deny.

You can usually find them sitting at the top of their staircase, eating Uncle Fury’s triangle grilled cheese, waving down to the countless superheroes bustling about with their day-to-day avenging. Most of the time, Morgan is the one doing the talking while Elliot listens intently, eyes wide and sandwich frozen halfway to his mouth.

She teaches him forbidden words, like his new favourite, “shit,” or another one they heard her dad muttering to one of his robots, “asshole.” Morgan knows a whole other language, he’s discovering.

She does things that he’s never seen anyone do. She builds things, purposely breaks her belongings just so she can fix them, she’s loud and dances too much, and she spends too much time smirking to ever smile at him.

She does laugh though, often, and most of the time at him.

And she knows, like, everything.

It’s a little intimidating.

* * * *

“Who’s that?”

“That’s the sad hobo from the fourth floor,” Morgan explains, following Elliot’s finger to the man falling asleep in an armchair. “Dad says he’s been alive over a hundred years!”

“Why’s he got a metal arm??” Elliot presses his face to the balcony railing, eyes wide as he stares.

“Bad guys. My dad said they were real bad.”

“Woah.”

Morgan grins at him for a moment, pride worming its way into her little heart at knowing more than him.

Then she taps Elliot on the shoulder and points at Thor. “Wanna know something about him?”

“I know that one, dummy, that’s my uncle.” Elliot rolls his eyes and scoots closer.

“Well duh. But did you know he’s stronger than Mr. Hulk??”

Elliot claps a hand over his mouth with a gasp—Thor hears and glances up at the two kids, flashing them a smile and a wave.

“No way,” Elliot whispers, giving his uncle a tiny wave back. “Nobody’s stronger than Mr. Hulk. ‘Cept my dad, but—”

“Um, I don’t think so.” Morgan turns around with a giggle to make sure your office door is almost closed, keeping their conversation private from you and Loki inside. “C’mere.”

She waves him over and cups her hand by her mouth, leaning in to whisper in Elliot’s ear.

“Mr. Hulk beat your daddy into a pulp one time.”

“That’s not true!”

“Sure is,” she giggles, waving down at the doctor in question who just walked in, thankfully not...well, green. “My dad told me he ruined your dad’s mon-uh-logue, they musta been playing a game or somethin’. Dad said it was the funniest thing he’s ever seen in his life—”

“That’s not very nice.” Elliot frowns and crosses his little arms. “Well, did you know my dad threw your dad out a window one time?”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh.” His chest deflates and Morgan giggles.

“You’ve got a sad face.” She pokes a finger into his cheek. “Stop it.”

Your son shakes his head, for some reason wishing he could run into that meeting and just...give his dad a hug.

I think they both need it.

“C’mon,” Morgan pleads, shaking his arm, “stop being sad. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop—”

An inevitable smile starts to tug at his lips. “Stop bein’ annoying, then.”

“Can’t.” She shrugs and starts poking him in the tummy. “Not ‘till you’re done being sad.”

Within seconds, Pepper is stopping the corporate meeting you’re in to poke her head out the door and shush the two shrieking kids rolling around at the top of a staircase, a full fledged tickle-war underway.

* * * *

Elliot learns a lot from her. Stuff his books could never teach him—at least, not the books he reads. Like AC/DC; Elliot had no idea that words could be so loud.

He decides he likes it. Rock and roll. He likes listening to it at the top of the staircase with earbuds in—one in her ear, the other in his—the music so loud that he squints with each drum beat as they watch the weird people their parents work with bustling about the compound.

Morgan always insists on having the left earbud. He never argues or asks why.

One day she lets him have the left earbud for one song, something by a band called Guns ‘n Roses, and he nearly calls her an asshole when she turns the music up all the way.

The left earbud is louder. “More bass,” she explains when she’s done laughing. She takes it back and unpauses the song.

She doesn’t flinch at the music.

Morgan is stronger than he guessed.

She once told him that the guitar is her favourite part of the music—that night at dinner he announced he wants to learn how to play guitar.

If Morgan likes it, it’s probably a good thing to know.

He doesn’t catch the small smile you and Loki share when you agree.

Elliot is terrible at it, he quickly discovers, and he gives it up after only a couple lessons. Not, of course, before Morgan finds out and makes him play her a shakily picked out rendition of the intro to Sweet Child of Mine about seven times.

Each time he tries, she claps and smiles and laughs and he beams, glad that finally, he did something she was impressed by.

She has everything. She’s good at everything—like when she picked up guitar a week after he gave up and was playing entire songs within days.

It’s annoying.

Morgan is annoying.

Even more annoying when they’re in high school and she won’t admit she hates him.

Growing up together, Elliot always had a tiny grip on her feelings, her emotions, could always tell when she wasn’t herself.

When she was almost ten, she figured out that maybe her little black-haired friend wasn’t just a good guesser when she would quiz him about herself. Elliot could guess more than her favourite colour, favourite animal, food; the basic stuff.

He started being able to guess when she had a restless night, when she was mad at her parents, when she needed to get out of her head. How she felt in a good moment, where she feels most at peace. When she’s in a situation and wants a way out.

At first it made her uncomfortable.

Elliot could tell, naturally, and stopped spending time with her for a few weeks.

He avoided her at all costs, kept his head down when he had to walk by her in the compound, did everything he could to start controlling this third eye.

Except talk to Loki. He came to you at one point, almost in tears because Morgan said he was “kinda weird,” and you told him that he should talk to his father about this, too. After all, he would be the only one who might have a single clue about what Elliot is going through.

But he won’t, he won’t talk to Loki about it, for some reason he doesn’t want to bring it up.

Their abilities and for lack of a better word, magic, have always been something that brought the two of them closer. Never was a problem, was never weird—

Tony and Pep apparently had a talk with Morgan, judging from the stern frowns and the tear stained face of Morgan when they showed up on your doorstep to apologise.

“You’re not weird,” she choked out. “I’m sorry, Elli, you’re not weird, you’re my friend and I’m so, so sorry.”

He didn’t correct her, you noticed, for calling him Elli.

Morgan Potts-Stark is annoying—and gross—and...well, it’s a pretty dress.

It’s blue.

Soft looking, satin-y, draping down her back, and she feels unstoppable. Elliot can tell; this surge of confidence (he’s guessing it’s coming from wearing the heels), she’s never felt this sure of herself.

It’s weird, watching her walk down their staircase. They don’t sit up there much anymore. Sometimes Elliot will, he’ll make his own sandwich (unless Fury is there, of course) and take his homework, grab a book, and sit at the top of the staircase until you and Loki are ready to go home.

Morgan doesn’t sit with him much anymore. She has a workshop that she likes to hide in, and Elliot’s only been down there once.

As much as he tells himself it’s not because he’s in her head, she’s just busy, there’s a nagging thought that just won’t go away that maybe she’s back to avoiding him.

She’s going to homecoming; only her first year of high school and she got a date to the dance. Tony, of course, had everyone in the compound stand by the foot of the staircase to watch her grand entrance—she deserves it, Elliot thinks, when everyone starts applauding and she blushes deep red.

Elliot isn’t going to the dance. Same high school...different experience.

He chose not to go, said he didn’t want to. Said that crowded rooms hurt his head, they’re too loud, too full, too busy.

You and Loki take him and Frigg out for ice cream. Elliot doesn’t seem too bothered to be missing such an event; he carries Frigg on his back and lets her eat half his ice cream, shoving his hands in his pockets when they start turning blue.

The four of you watch a movie when you get home, the usual dogpile on Loki. Elliot seems happy; he’s smiling, laughing, has his head on Loki’s shoulder and occasionally stops to tickle Frigg when she tries to push him out of his spot.

In his pocket, his phone buzzes.

There’s a couple texts waiting to be opened. From Morgan.

“Guess what the theme of the dance is...winter wonderland. In September?? Made me think of you, frosty!”

His hands are still blue and patchy. He pushes them deeper in his pockets.

Loki notices and presses his lips to his son’s forehead. “Don’t,” he whispers, smiling softly. “We love you. Don’t.”

Frigg takes advantage of Elliot’s distraction and wedges her little self right between the two of them with a proud fit of giggles.

His phone vibrates again and he glances at it—Morgan again.

“Someone is trying to sing a karaoke Sweet Child of Mine. HELP.”

“Seriously, I’ll take your guitar version over this ANY day.”

He can’t help it and smiles down at his phone.

“OoooOOO!!” Frigg pokes him with a squeal. “Are you talking to a girl??”

He scowls and shoves a pillow in his sister’s face. “Shut it, Frigg.”

“You gonna date her??” Frigg can’t stop giggling, fighting against the pillow and trying to reach Elliot’s phone. “Gonna kiss her?! Mom!! Elli’s gotta girlfriend, Elli’s gotta girlfriend—”

“Shut up!” A pillow smacks Frigg across the face and Elliot tackles the little girl, shoving handfuls of snow down her shirt as she shrieks with laughter and tries to fight back.

Morgan?? His girlfriend? Oh, please, that’ll never happen.

Morgan Potts-Stark is gross.

And annoying.

Remember?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

since i’m on mobile it wouldn’t let me tag like half of you on this post, sorry folks!!!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @belladonnabarnes @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted

#loki x reader #dad!loki #domestic!loki #loki fluff #loki imagine #morgan stark #loki and son #loki family fluff #loki family headcanons #elliot lokason #elliot lokison

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