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dearlawdimasimp · 13 days ago

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Getting lost inside my world, you don't know where I've been

Aimed to Kill

Parings: Filo!Reader x Ynaguinid(platonic); eventual Khonshu x Filo!reader; eventual Marc/Steven/Jake x Filo!reader

Warnings: Violence, mentions of gore, intrusive thoughts, cussing, english isnt my first language, grammar errors, not beta'd (i think, pls comment if i missed any)

A/n: this chap doesn't follow the mk series, set on the first few missions mk and poison warior had, and the title is one of the lines from the song inspired by the fic

Painful grunts and wails fill the night as you and Moon Knight fight side-by-side and back-to-back against the forces of an underground mafia who dared to taunt you both. The group is known to take the children from the streets and force them to work for them. Some may not even be lucky as others as they get sold on some disgusting bidding community that is hidden from the general public but open to malicious entitled assholes-

"Duck!" Bellows Moon Knight after you shoved your shield up to a lackey's face.

You crouch and footsweeped the opponent you just socked with your shield, just in time, before a crescent dagger whizzes past right above your head, barely missing you by a hair and killing an incoming threat.

"You want to slice my head off so badly, no?" You quip with ragged breathing as you stab your kampilan down to your opponent's chest. A chill of satisfaction runs down your spine, yours or Ynaguinid's, or combined you don't know.

You hear a deep chuckle at the comment. Khonshu was overlooking the fight, you noted, as you hit a guy's face with the v-shaped ivory hilt of your sword, breaking his nose.

"Trust me, you would not be here if I did." He retorts with a grunt, punching and kicking more incoming lackeys.

This was the usual occurrence between you and the hooded vigilante. It's either no words or sarcastic comments are exchanged between the two of you ever since your deities decided for a collab.

And sometimes, if not most times, your gods overlook it.

Ynaguinid mumbles praises in your head as you finish off the last few goons that still have the guts to fight you after seeing their comrades lying dead. While Moon Knight goes after those who are trying to escape.

Slash! ..Thud

That was the last of them. You look over to the white-gauzed vigilante whom you call many nicknames because saying 'moon knight' gets tiring overtime and you haven't asked nor did he say his actual name. So did he to you. So you both just started to call each other some silly nicknames to call one's attention.

"Is that all of 'em, dove?" You pant, whipping your sword to your side to shake off the blood before sheathing it to your back.

You feel Ynaguinid's pride swell through your link, feeling a little bit proud of yourself too, for impressing your goddess tonight. She's been bitter for the past week, and everytime you ask her why she'd just change the conversation. Maybe she was having a bad week in the deity world or something.

He sighs, "..yes, Kaa." mumbling the nickname he chose for you, referencing the amount of snake motif adorning your body.

You chuckle at dove's exasperation and at the nickname, he didn't particularly favor the nickname you used. When you first called him that, he was utterly confused by the name. "Your costume's white, dove is white." You once stated blatantly with a teasing smile and shrug.

Marc had every right to be confused with that though, I mean, he would have never ever thought himself to ever represent close to something as purity, obviously because of his line of work. But somehow, he wants to hear you say it. It grounds him. And he would absolutely kill himself before he would say that outloud.

You, however, don't mind the nicknames he's given you. As long as he doesn't call you anything offensive, you're good.

"Wanna grab some ice cream?" You asked, breaking him out from his line of thought. He tilts his head to the side, tension forming in the middle of his brows as he stares at your masked face, an odd shadow that only covers the top half of your face leaving only your tattooed jaw to be seen even though it was impossible for the shadow to be casted by the giant cobra skull that is your headdress.

Of course you would not see his brows thanks to his mask but the outline of his glowing eyes reveals his confusion.

"I saw a convenience store not far from here..before we started kicking these-" you pucker your lips and nod your head to the direction of a dead body, "-guys asses, thought that we could go grab some snacks afterwards..."

You walk over to him while he ponders the offer, the back flap of your g-string dragging on the pavement behind you. He noticed that after the fights, the usually short length of the back of your g-string, even though it is slightly longer than the front, it would extend until it touches the ground.

As delightful treats sound, we still have a job to do, Spector. We need to do as much as we can before the moon rests. The god speaks in his mind like he usually does when in your presence, especially if those things are a little too rude to be spoken out loud. This leaves Marc in a tight place on rephrasing his words to make them sound less rude.

Just when he thinks the son of a bitch is heartless..

I can hear your thoughts, Marc.

Good!

"You don't have to if you don't want to, by the way. If you're not cool with eating after a fight, I won't force you." You added reassuringly, their lack of reply making you doubt your decision.

Obviously, it was weird to eat after a bloodbath, no sane person would have the appetite to do so, but it's not like you were.

..It's not like you were…

The thought, the thought that you had hoped to not resurface once again pops its ugly head out.

No. No. I am sane.

I'm not going back to square one!

I'm not a heartless maniac!!

Then explain your cravings for a sweet treat after doing something so bitter.

The tiny dreaded voice talks back, once again.

This time, louder and much more intense, and it just has to make itself known in front of someone you had just gotten along with. Someone who is not a deity or a spirit. Someone who is living and breathing.

Someone whom you want to be in more ways than one.

In your weeks of fighting alongside the avatar of the moon, you've made quite some revelations of yourself, most of which if not all point to one thing, your fucking sanity. You had seen his hesitance, how he holds back, how he still has a conscience. You've had the lack of these after serving Ynaguinid. Even though you receive praise from both deities, it isn't enough to fill that hole in you and silence your intrusive thoughts.

These voices started to increase in volume since last week when Moon Knight told you how you could easily kill without second thoughts. These voices had gotten so loud that it made you to want his hesitance in killing people, his conscience, how he can hold himself back from going on a killing spree. He's someone who could keep you in line before you cross it, to becoming a heartless maniac. Because his presence when you two fight reminds you that if he can keep the dead bodies to a minimum, you can too. He might or might not be the reason why Ynaguinid is becoming distant, actual reasons unknown to you, but that does not mean you'll stop working with him.

I help people! I- I donate as much as I could-

Do you really think that is enough? That what you are doing can equate to the amount of people you've killed in cold blood?!

You were too busy arguing with the voice in your head that you didn't notice Moon Knight calling your attention, not until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Kaa..You okay?" You hear the muffled voice of the knight, looking up you are met with his bright glowing eyes.

No. I'm not. I want to be like you. I want to have your heart-

You nod.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." Trying to convince yourself as the voice keeps on going. You may have encountered this ugly voice one too many times; it does not make it any less hard to push back. Especially when the evidence is as clear as day.

"Sorry you were saying?" You mutter, his hands on your shoulder is the only thing grounding you while feeling like you are being swallowed, grinded and mushed internally by your own thoughts.

If you weren't in a state of internal turmoil, you would have noticed that the occurrence of this distance between you to happen is so rare. Him being close to your personal space and asking a question close to sincere.

A beat, "I said I don't want to eat ice cream, but don't let me stop you from buying one." He utters with a soft tone which flies over your head.

"Ah okay okay okay, got it." You bob your head repeatedly, "I'll uh.. I'll get my dessert then, guess.. I'll see you around?" You stayed under his gaze, not moving an inch even if you had just announced you were leaving, as the bright white light emanating from the other's eyes became your comfort.

He only nods in response and takes his cue to leave your space, you immediately miss the warmth he was giving off, the needed grip for you to stay in reality dissipating as he turns his back to you and jumps to the ledge where you once saw Khonshu.

He stops. The moon framing his head from your angle and his cape flowing to the wind made him look ethereal and mysterious. You tried to keep the imagery ingrained in your mind as much as you could before he left your line of sight. Leaving you with the dead bodies and your spinning thoughts.

With a deep trembling sigh, you finally left the gore-filled scene. Not going to the convenience store as you had planned but ran straight to your flat with shaking lips.

You can never run away from who you actually are, hypocrite.

~~~

Your running form was being observed by the watchful eye of the God of the Moon and his Fist of Vengeance. You may have thought they had actually left but they haven't.

Your behavior a while ago striked Khonshu as odd, Marc would be lying if he wasn't too, as it was out of your character to lie and not make a bad joke of the situation, as the god stated. Maybe that's what made Khonshu change his mind.

Now, Marc did not like you. Well, he does at the same time not. Because all that Khonshu spews out of his beak is for him to become like you. To serve justice willingly and with no hesitance. To give proper justice to the deserving humans. Being compared almost always whenever the god has the chance made Marc plant this seed of hatred and jealousy of you within him.

Beside that, however, is his amazement of your skills. Your swiftness and agility as you slash the enemies surrounding you, who's sizes could be twice too tall or big compared to you. The way you have the confidence and bravery(could be stupidity) in taking large groups of mobs and/or criminals with no hesitance. His awe of your beauty, although half-way hidden, in the midst of battle and under the moonlight.

After the 15th night you two have begun working together he made a comment about your willingness to kill people. He had wanted it to be a compliment because he could never bear the guts that you have, but it seemed that you didn't take it lightly.

You had stood frozen on your spot for a minute, maybe more, and then shook your head with a small laugh, as if what he had said was humorous and shifted the conversation. He went along with it but was a little doubtful of the ease you were showing. Then after that night, you opted in using arnis sticks, your reason was unbelievable to him but ran along with it and you have made it your choice of weapon until today's mission.

You had decided to unsheath your sword after you heard what this group of mobs had done.

He'd be lying if he didn't miss how you handle enemies with your sword, bodies dropping one by one and the bloodbath you leave after a fight. But what he actually missed tonight was your usually happy-go-lucky demeanor even after the gore.

Which brings him to half-heartedly following Khonshu's sudden change of plans.

"Follow them." Khonshu orders him, tapping his staff on the ledge he is on.

A small part of him wanted to say otherwise, but the most of him wanted to follow the god, and so he did. Backing up a few steps, he prepares himself to leap-

"You really think I would allow that?" A stern, feminine voice speaks behind them with an accent unique to the language she's speaking. It was familiar and when he and Khonshu looked back, they saw Ynaguinid. Her clenched fist is a telltale sign of anger, her composure, however, remains calm and regal.

"Your warrior didn't seem to be in a good state, Ynaguinid." Khonshu, ever stubborn, calmly replies.

Marc wanted to roll his eyes at the obvious display of favoritism, but decided not to.

"I know. Their ancestors are already by their side as we speak. You don't need to interfere." The war goddess stood her ground, "I..am grateful for your concern. But we can handle this."

~~~

Khonshu had seen right through your shadowed eyes and realized that there were more things happening than what was in front of them. Sure, a sweet treat would've made you feel but something in him is stirring that your sudden closed off behavior was something more, just like the last time. He wanted to know what is bothering you, you had become his favorite mortal for being such a brave soul and for being the bringer of justice that he wants to have.

He is worried that you've lost your touch but is proven wrong tonight. Or... however many times he denies it, he's worried about your actual well-being not because he wants your skill but because he's growing a little fond of you.

Khonshu has a choice, either he disobeys your goddess' demands and checks up on you or he follows her orders. He wants to choose the former as he is actually concerned for you. He had missed the jokes tonight, however bad they were, that you always tell after every mission. And the fact that you lied(he caught it the moment you spoke a little too late for his liking) to them made him more concerned.

His head turns to his knight, knowing that the human had already chosen the latter, and he would want him to choose it too, not wanting to anger a war goddess from another pantheon, he sighs and nods.

"Fine. We will leave them alone. Come along, my knight." Grumbling, he turns his back to Ynaguinid.

"Wait." The goddess calls after them and slowly walks closer to where they are standing.

"Answer me, honestly…" He turns his attention back to her and nods for her to continue, "Do you really care or are you just finding a way to hurt my sundalo?" Her tone is ever harsh as she drops the question.

"Hurt them? What makes you think that our intentions are ill?!"

Oh, he had let that slip...But how could she think of that?! How dare she think of that when all they both wanted was for you to be well. Marc may deny it but Khonshu can feel within his avatar that he has grown fond of you too.

You had certainly left an impact on both of them when you entered their nightly missions and patrols.

The god's frustrated state manifested through the sudden strong gust of wind disturbing the place. He could also feel that his avatar was irked by her question.

"I only wanted to be sure, God of the Moon. My sundalo has gone through worse and I do not wish for that to repeat." She sneered when she mentioned his title but her last sentence was spoken with tenderness. She showed no reaction to the wind and its cause though.

"Her unstable state might cause problems in the future. We do not wish for an accident to happen while on the job now would we."

The god lied through his beak, his uneasiness of the situation and.. worry that if he tells the truth he might not be able to see you once again motivated him to do so. He knows right after he says it, Marc became more agitated and confused. Not his whole intention but he has to.

What the hell…is that really the reason why he wants him to follow you? To keep you in check so that you won't mess up on the next mission? Just a moment before he was eager to help you. Marc had really thought that Khonshu cared. The god's confusing behavior made his jaw grow taut and also to his messed up reasoning, he glances at the goddess.

"I see." The goddess huffs, satisfied or not of the answer the Egyptian god has given, he could not tell. Then disappearing, probably to take care of you.

"What the hell was that?" He asked the bird god, unveiling his mask as he glares daggers on his stupid bird skull head.

"I was merely truthful, Marc Spector." The tall being huffs and walks away from him.

A humorless chuckle escaped his lips, "Maybe you're the one that needs to be kept checked, asshole.." He mumbles to himself, putting his mask back on as he follows the god. Khonshu ignores his comment, but he somehow tripped over nothing and that's when he knew the bird was upset about it.

Ynaguinid immediately kneels in front of your hunched, sobbing form as soon as she arrives at your place. Mela, her 4th warrior, has been keeping you company and calming you down through soothing words and calming hands. She shares a look with Mela, one that is understanding but at the same time worried.

This has occurred far too many times than Ynaguinid's liking. Your thoughts have this twisted sense that keeps you from being yourself, from being her praised warrior after her bloodline rejected her blessing for hundreds of years. These thoughts that she thought she had already banished from your mind, but clearly hasn't. She can hear it, every single word thanks to her link to you as her warrior. And every time this voice speaks, she can feel the way your heart twinges in pain.

"Langga…" ‘My dear..’ She softly calls out to you, reaching your shoulders and giving a comforting rub.

Ynaguinid cares for you, she loves every single warrior she bears like her own child. Especially you, her warrior in the present times for nearly 4 years now and counting. You, who broke the chain of rejections of her blessings even if you knew that your family would disown you. You, who broke the modern standards of your country. You, who stood up for the deities and ancestors who laid their lives only for it to be completely nulled when they accepted and adapted to the colonizer's tradition.

Of course, some of them weren't to blame. Those people who did nothing were merely dust in the past while the people back then that defended their land are known today as heroes, as they should be. Some of them might have lost but that paved the way for the other heroes' success. and Ynaguinid is a witness to all of this. She wanted to give them their blessing, but they prayed to another god so all she could do was make sure their efforts weren't wasted. Through distracting the enemies while in the middle of war. .

Colonizers. Tch. They're easily enamoured by local beauty.

Which was why she had asked the Moon and his Knight the question. Ynaguinid has walked and observed the earth for eons. She knows when one is infatuated with her warrior. The people that have fallen for you, especially those people who know who you actually are, always have a knife behind their back. They always stab you on your back and break your heart to a million pieces, and she does not want history to repeat itself. She has to keep an eye out for you now too, since you have caught another deity's eyes.

Ynaguinid had hoped, though, that Khonshu had told the truth. She wasn't satisfied with the answer he gave to her as she wanted to hear it in his voice, that he does, he does care for you as much as how you had grown to care for the deity and his knight.

Your puffy, half-lidded eyes look at her, oh how that look always breaks her heart. She opens her arms to offer her embrace and you don't hesitate to throw yourself onto her. Ynaguinid rocks you back and forth as she cradles your form, like a mother would to a wailing baby to calm them down.

"I tried- I tried to ignore it—" You hiccup, your breathing uneven as you sob. Ynaguinid gently shushes you,

"Kabalo ko, langga, kabalo ko.."'I know, my child, I know..' She softly caresses your hair and kisses the crown of your head.

Even until now, those voices still rang around your head. Those hurtful words that are closely similar to the ones to the words your own mother had told you that night.

Seeing as you are still suffering from this, the deity opted to use a spell. She does not want you to suffer for a long time and have you hearing these unrelentless thoughts all night, she puts you to sleep, just like last time.

And just like that, the voices quiets down. As you are slowly pulled to slumber, your body visibly deflates as the tension is released from your form.

"Ang akong pinalangga..nganong nahitabo man kini sa imo…" 'My dear, dear child, why is this happening to you..' The goddess whispers as she cradles your face, brows raised and scrunched in worry as she watches your formerly pained face relax in peace. Like you hadn't carried any burden at all.

Ynaguinid gathers you to her arms and stands up, carrying you from the floor to your bed and gently lays you down. Your armor fading to your casual clothes as she tucks you in.

Mela pushes a stray hair away from your face, "Nagadala siya ug bug-at kaayo nga paghimogso sa iyang kaugalingon, akong diwata…tungod ba kini na wala siya na-anad sa pagka-sundalo?" 'They're carrying a heavy burden on themselves, my goddess, is this because they are not used to being a warrior?' The spirit asks, a soft hum in the wind fills the room.

Ynaguinid sighs, and nods somberly. "Kana..akong gikahiubos sa pagsulti na oo, saktu ka, Mela…" 'That…I am saddened to say that yes, you are right, Mela.'

The two beings could only watch you with sadness in their eyes, if only those thoughts be eradicated in a snap and never come back again, the deity would have done so.

#moon knight x reader #moon knight x Filipino!reader #moon knight x you #moon knight x philippine mythology #ATK #Aimed To Kill #marc spector x reader #khonshu x reader #filipino!reader #Ynaguinid #philippine mythology #G●writes #moon knight #marvel #marvel x reader #x reader #moon knight x filipino!reader #marc spector x filipino!reader #khonshu x filipino!reader

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