#figuring ur self out!!!! I dont wan that to be framed as something dreary n negative

[shoezuki]

“Okay, Sero.” Breath in, out, in, out. Their phone was held in their hand, grip tight. The time, 2:45am, glowered down at them. Their blankets were pulled tight up to their head, covering their ears and hair, just their face exposed to the night air. One arm was pinned under their own body, already tingling.

“C’mon, Sero,” their chest felt tight. Their eyes were pinned to the already written text.  “Don’t chicken out again. Just fucking do it.”

They clicked send before they could even think about it, screeching the instant they realized they sent the fucking text, and throwing their phone across the room.

It hit the far was with a thump, light tracing around the room as it felt into the heap of dirty laundry Sero couldn’t be bothered to find the time to wash.

They stared at the light, counting down in silence.

1…

Sero’s heart was thumping.

2…

They could think of two responses, both extreme.

3…

One, where all his loving, supportive friends embrace him with open arms, tears in their eyes sparkling like stars, and weeping about how much they love and support them as they are. (Yes, Even Bakugou. Extreme, right?)

4…

Or , they’re instantly shunned. Cut off from the group in the blink of an eye. They’re abandoned.

5…

No matter how many times Sero tells themself it’s ridiculous, (after all, most of their friends aren’t straight) the idea always comes to mind. It chews and bites at them.

6…

It’s obvious which they’d prefer.

7…

But, Sero’s never had the guts to even bring up gender stuff before. They only know one person they can even talk to about that. So what if--

Ding!

Sero vaults out of bed, stumbling across the floor and smashing their knee into the floor at the notification. They grab it and sit down on the ground, unlocking their phone, opening right into the group chat.

Ducktape [2:48am]: hey yall jus saying that im not actually a boy i want to be nonbinary okay love yall gnight everyone

Alien Queen [2:50am]: aaaawww love u too boo <3 have a good slep

Okay that’s… neither of the things Sero thought of.

They frown at their screen, sliding back until they feel their back hit the edge of their bed. “okay…” they hums, teeth digging into the inside of their cheek. “ashido that’s… okay.”  The anxiety that had been coiling in their gut all day, bitter and sickening, had made room for something more empty.

The group chat starting going off in spurts. Sero read every text.

Sparky [2:53am] yall seriously goin to bed NOW??? when the nights still young?? Weak i tell you !!! WEAK

Shadow_Blade [2:54am] youre one to talk

Sparky [2:54am] TOKOYAMI WHAT THE HE LL DOES THAT MEAN

Alien Queen [2:54am] haha toko got ur ass kaminari

Sparky [2:54am] D:

RedRiot [2:55am] guuuyyysss stop being so LOUD sero is sleeping. Cool it with the group chat

Alien Queen [2:55am] oh hhey kiri i been meanin to ask hows ur workout routine? Ive noticed a change

RedRiot [2:57am] oh my god okay really??? Omg im glad ! I actually swapped it up a bit u see im tryin to focus more on my legs n have doubled my daily squat and lunge count. Not to mention bumped up my time for doin some plank based exercises. That killed me the first few days haha but i used to always focus more on my arms shoulders n back so i figured swapping some of it up a bit would be good for me and i guess it has been!!! :D

Bakugou Katsuki [2:57am]: holy fuck shut your fucking mouth we don’t need some god fucking bullshit essay about your muscles at 3 in the morning you ass

jEARrou left the group chat

“they didn’t mention me coming out once.” Sero scrolled up, down, and back up again. “Did they even read my text?”

But they were saying goodnight… they frowned. Did they only read part of it? Did they ignore that part? Why would they do that? Would they rather ignore this part of me than accept me?

But that couldn’t be right. For all they knew, they were overreacting. Maybe the idea of someone being nonbinary was so casual to them, that’s why they didn’t address it. Maybe it’s nowhere near being a big deal, like Sero thought it was. Maybe Sero had no reason to spend hours and hours hiding in their room, rewriting a simple text over and over again.

At least… they’re not rejecting me, right? Sero frowned even deeper: no response is… better than a bad response, I guess.

No matter how many times they thought it over, that thought didn’t feel right.

They were just getting back in bed, pulling the covers back up and curling into themselves, when their phone went off.

Sero looked at his screen, raising his eyebrows at the text sent directly to him in private.

TWINKle [3:04am]: aaaaaaaa !!! My friend~~~ you came out!!!!

TWINKle [3:04am]: you DID it!!!!!

TWINKle [3:05am]: ohohh my dearest is all grown up,,, oh how proud i am…

“Aoyama,” Sero offered a dreary smile, sniffling and shaking their head at their friend. They dragged the heel of their hand over their damp eyes, snorting a laugh before responding. 

Ducktape [3:07am]: yep haha. Finally worked up the nerve

TWINKle [3:07am]: nice to finally get it off ur chest, no?

Ducktape [3:08am]: yeah but like. No one responded to me. Or the Coming Out part anyways

TWINKle [3:09am]: ahahah dont fret about it. Give it time to set.

TWINKle [3:12am]: or im sure everyone is just tired.. 

Sero was certain they nearly chewed a hole through his cheek.

They stared at his text, (but it is so important to me. Should i not want at least a response?) deleted it before it could send, typing out a quick ‘goodnight’ instead and trying to let the disappointment sink through their body.