#figure skating joke

[kradnie]

14A??? now i don't think that's possible

[beautifulstorms]

Yuna Aoki, SP Adios Nonino • Skate America 2024

[kentucky-cried-fricken-123]

i keep changing my ambitions and goals everyday.

"i wanna be a figure skater. no i wanna be an engineer. you know what, i should do archery. how about owning a small cafe... or a shop... or a bakery. wait a min, I should write a novel. or run for president..."

however, I finally figured it out.

guys, I think I got it. I want be a ✨ barbie ✨

[diedraechin]

[Sneak Peek] What Chapter are we on now????

Chapter 52? Really? Damn.

Anyway, I have like one half of a scene to write before giving this to Io to edit, but I didn't want you all to think I've forgotten you since we're in the midst of the Grand Prix series. Besides the spills in the Skate Canada Men's Short (I'm still in the process of watching) reminded me of the even splattier place I left you hanging... So I thought I'd give you some fan chatter from the stands as a treat!

I did cut a bit out for length because I needed the set up but wanted to end on a specific punchline. So just know that there is more back and forth as a certain pole dance instructor gets a Katsuki lesson... 😉

“Ok. I found it.” Tabitha squinted at her phone. “He’s skating in the second to last group according to Skate Trails.” She looked away from her phone and over at her wife. “I don’t really keep up with Men’s though, so I can’t tell you anything about Katsuki.”

Jade just shook her head and leaned back into her seat. “That’s fine. I just wanted to see if we’d missed his skate because it’d be nice to see how he does.”

“I didn’t realize that you were a Katsuki fan!” One of the women behind them leaned forward. Jade and Tabby had chatted with her during the Pairs event earlier before going off on their antiquing adventure with the friends they were staying with during the break between the Pairs event and the Men’s. Though they’d ended up missing most of the first two groups all together since dinner had gone long. Still, it was kind of nice to see a familiar face. While Jade had known this was going to be an all day thing, it was really an all day thing.

<snip snip for excerpt length>

“I heard that a Grand Prix thing is coming to Detroit.” Jade was just happy to have something to add to the conversation.

“Really?!” Tabitha looked at her. “To Detroit? I haven’t looked to see where Skate America was going to be next season yet.”

Katsuki fan nodded. “Oh yeah. And I really hope that Yuuri gets assigned since he trains in Detroit because I will definitely drive down from Guelph if he does. I’d love to see him live again. And when the events are smaller like Grand Prixs, it can be easier to meet the skaters if they have the time and inclination.”

"Time and inclination? Katsuki?" No one could miss the snark from Newcomer, but given that she knew Yuuri wasn't the most...forward person, Jade didn't exactly disagree.

Katsuki fan smacked her hands on her thighs. "Let me dream!" Then she broke out into a wide smile and laughed.

“Looks like they’re going to let them onto the ice.” Katsuki fan’s friend said as she shook her friend's arm.

Jade and Tabitha turned around in their seats and sure enough, almost as soon as they settled, the announcer was declaring the start of the group and the skaters all took off onto the ice, some handing things off to the people standing on the other side of the boards as the six skaters scattered across the ice.

“I can’t tell who is who.” Jade said.

“Fluffy hair in the Japan jacket is Murata, he’s the other Japanese skater. Slicked back hair is Yuuri.” Katsuki fan said.

Over the speakers, the announcer started calling out the names of the skaters and the country they represented and each skater was greeted with cheers and applause even though none of the skaters broke from their warmup to acknowledge it. Behind them, Katsuki’s fan cheered for each skater but was especially loud when Yuuri’s name was called, shouting “Yuuri, Ganbaaaaa!”

On the ice, Yuuri unzipped his jacket as he headed to the boards and he handed it over to someone there.

“Oh my god! Is that Kai Tamm?! Kai showed up?! Hallelujah!” Katsuki fan certainly sounded overjoyed. “Should have been checking the forums, I bet her showing up was already mentioned.”

So did her friend. “My prayers have been answered! Do you think if I pray hard enough, he’ll come to his senses and go back to Alexei?”

Jade glanced over her shoulder at them.

“Kai is the assistant coach at the Detroit Skate Club that Yuuri works with. She’s the tiny Hawaiian woman next to the idiot Italian with the big hair who is supposed to be Yuuri’s coach. Sorry, I’m just from the side of Yuuri’s fandom who isn’t really pleased with how Cialdini is coaching our boy.”

And when Jade looked back, it was the woman who was talking to Yuuri as he nodded. Another skater came up and stopped in a way that sprayed Yuuri with ice, but Yuuri just leaned over and brushed the crystals off his black pants without looking away from the woman.

“Rude.” Tabitha muttered. “Shouldn’t he get in trouble?”

“It’s Michele Crispino. It wouldn’t be a competition where they competed together without Yuuri getting sprayed by a Michele hockey stop.” And as Newcomer finished their commentary, Michele left the boards, but not without patting Yuuri once on the shoulder. Without looking Yuuri held out a thumbs up to the other skater which Yuuri’s coach seemed to approve of since he looked like he was laughing.

“Michele is going to regret that because KAI IS HERE!” Katsuki’s fan cheered. A few people around them chuckled.

“Using the Goncharov (1973) soundtrack for his Free is reason enough for Mickey to come ahead of Katsuki!” someone commented.

“Are you a Mickey fan or a Goncharov fan?” Newcomer asked.

“Does it matter?” came the reply.

[kimmkitsuragi]

crying because he really said it like that 😭😭😭

[lancernolancing]

Deniss Vasiļjevs | Men's Short Program | Worlds 2024

[rondocapri]

lmao Adam did an illegal element right in front of the judges faces and he’s still in first… he’s embarrassing the fuck out of them

[a-rainbow-girl-detective]

You know, there’s a surprising number of Batfam ice sports AUs for both hockey and figure skating, but as someone who has worked at an ice rink despite not being able to skate don’t @ me, I do consider it a shame that I have yet to see one which features what I think are arguably the two most important aspects of any such AU:

The Al Ghuls as Zamboni drivers, who are masters of The Pit™ (where the snow gets dumped after ice cuts)

Jason being cranky because he fell in The Pit™

(Cass has also fallen into The Pit™, of course, but nobody ever remembers, because she was normal about it.)

[winged-wolf-dreamer]

Yuzu and Shoma: *go to 4cc 4 and 5 times respectively before finally getting gold*

Yuma, needing only two attempts:

[raininyourblackeyes]

ISU I will hunt you for sport on behalf on Maddie who carried that team, and on behalf of Romsky because he's my fave

[meirimerens]

[junhwabauer]

i've changed my stance. the isu can keep backflips legal only if they ban bolero in its place

[vyeoh]

If you make a figure skating au you're contractually obligated to make everyone intensely toxic and weirdly homophobic in the unique way only skating clubs and liberal suburbs are

[dozydawn]

[erinaonice]

@ adam siao him fa

[chajunhwanlovebot]

my friend and i are gonna be at skate canada and we're making bingo cards to pass the time so i would love suggestions for the boxes. ideally a combo of serious and funny ones!!