#fight that corruption my queers!

[theflagscene]

And this, children, is why you take the murder weapon with you from the crime scene and burn it down to ash at a secondary location.

He wore gloves so it was premeditated and yet he just tossed the racket into a bush!? Moron 🙄

Also I already love Tul and Tin’s sibling relationship.

Shoot your shot Tul, we’re all rooting for you to bag the hot medical examiner!

[good--merits-accumulated]

god writing the first bits of the italian renaissance au is so gruelling. i feel like putting up a big sign on top of the text that says I PROMISE I'M NOT WOOBIFYING TODD. HE'S A GROWN MAN WHO GETS A NUANCED PERSONALITY I PROMISE IT'S JUST THAT ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS ARE LOOKING AT HIM WRONG. PLEASE

[daculadaculadacula]

damn we really got shafted by funnay long ass fight scenes and dead dad cop b (c?) plot............... i havent looked at the producers and what theyre all about etc but seeing the queer angles get shafted (like its all at once not heavy-handed enough but the next step would have been on-screen making out sloppy style like. tenderness? or something) due to whatever the fuck else that all was...... man

i appreciate that this is a new and fun interpretation and i do love receiving little lgbtq+ pellets but idk. some ingredients in this soup arent doin it for me

[your-greatest-queen]

Putting my tags here because now I have more to vent about

Okay so she stormed off and then when she came back I gently tried to explain that I'm not trying to be judgemental or rude, I just don't know him well enough and I don't feel comfortable calling him my uncle. I have actual uncles that I don't call my uncles because I don't know them well. I mean, c'mon.

And then she says "mhm. You know, you once told me that I don't even try*, so maybe you should watch what you say."

*I once told her while in an argument about my trans brother, who she claims to accept, that she can preach being an ally all she wants, but she never actually tries to change her speech.

I have friends that I met when they were already out as trans and so my mother never once heard their previous pronouns, but still misgenders them.

That is what she's referring to here. I told her she doesn't even try to use the right pronouns for people, and she throws it back at me years later in a situation where I don't want to refer to a near stranger with a familial title.

Okay ma.

My mother yelling at me that "your friends are they slash them, and yet you're pretty judgemental of mine!" simply because I, a grown adult, said I didn't want to refer to her friend, who I have met twice, as my uncle. Not judging him, ma. Just setting boundaries. But ok

[radley-rambles]

This is the anti-marketing website, etc. etc. etc., but I've seen a couple of these posts do okay and it's Pride month so... Here goes?

Do ya wanna support a queer disabled author who is still slightly baffled that they broke into tradpub?

Do ya like stories about working class uprisings, set against a backdrop of corporate corruption and Superheroes Behaving Badly?

Do ya yearn for a plucky lesbian underdog of a hero, who becomes a supervillain sidekick while navigating her voracious horniness for both her grumpy butch coworker and her straight best friend (oddly specific, I know)?

Do ya want a murder mystery where we know the victim and the killer, but have to untangle the motive?

Do the descriptions "Laughed my butt off", "Me lesbeeb" and "Books that made me want to burn down the government" make you reach for your wallet?

If so, look no further than my debut, Strictly No Heroics!

[ID: cover of a book showing a figure in a gasmask, hoodie and gloves, leant on an old TV. A rainbow pride pin is pinned to their jacket. Text reads ‘STRICTLY NO HEROICS’ in neon pink and green, and ‘B. L. Radley’ in white.]

Have an actual blurb too, while you're reading!

If you're a powerless normie in a world run by superheroes, you need three rules to survive:

1: Keep your head down

2: Don’t make enemies

3: STRICTLY NO HEROICS

When a hero gropes her best friend, Riley Jones breaks all of them.

​Her attempt at serving justice gets her fired from her summer job. Luckily, Sunnylake City’s biggest business is booming (literally, when there's C4 involved).

​Every villain wants henchmen: masked cronies who take their coffee orders, vacuum their secret lairs, and posture in the background while they fight. The HENCH agency provides a steady stream of drop-outs and losers who are willing to get beaten up for minimum wage.

​Riley might just be the perfect candidate.

You can

buy my book here

UK version here

Reblogs are greatly appreciated, and kisses to everyone who's already got their hands on a copy!

[misscammiedawn]

Thinking about We Know The Devil and Heaven Will Be Mine today. A duology. WKTD the tells the story of accepting you're queer, framed as a horror story of 3 repressed teenagers at a christian summer camp fighting off their inherent queerness and HWBM tells the story of how one accepts their place in society after embracing their queerness.

WKTD uses magical girl tropes in a fairly grounded Midwestern teen experience.

Magical girl stories often involve the struggle of the forces of Good and Evil. Purity and Impurity. Corruption often being a core theme of any girl squad facing down the nightmarish forces. This can be seen from Madoka's approach to the concept which is often referred to as a deconstruction. The Pink Opaque from I Saw The TV Glow overtly uses these themes in the exact same allegory as WKTD with the evil forces attempting to suppress the queerness of the protagonists.

HWBM uses mech anime tropes in an allegorical wonderland where the setting fades away to have the audience engage with the ideas at play rather than the lore. Mech anime often uses the giant robot duels as a method of visualizing ideological struggles. Too often in these shows beam sabers will cross as the pilots yell at one another to embrace ideas of how the concepts of war and prejudice can be battled out of existence.

In HWBM the "war" in play is humans versus space... or more accurately humans versus those who are not of Earth. Versus those who are alien. Versus those who are not human.

The dominant culture versus queer culture.

WKTD frames its tropes via the dating sim mechanics popular within its visual novel medium. But rather than choosing which of the 3 girls the player wishes to romance you must choose which of the 3 you wish to exclude. The idea being to scapegoat one's struggle with queerness by attacking outward, blaming the other, by shaming others into the closet to keep yourself in there.

Lashing outward to prevent reflecting inward.

The only good ending of the game is to accept a polycule dynamic where everyone is seen, accepted and embraced for who they are unconditionally. God's love, in this world, is conditional and one must always be excluded. The devil has room for three.

There is no room in normal society for a polycule. It is inherently queer. The dominant culture is binary and there's no version of a polycule where only a 0 and a 1 are represented. The binary is incompatible.

I recently told a friend that the duology tells the journey of a thousand miles and how it begins with a single step. WKTD is the story of that first and all too important step acceptance.

HWBM is the story of what comes after acceptance. After that first step.

It tells the story of the thousand mile journey.

The ideologies at play are the concepts of assimilation, activism and separationism. In the allegory Earth/Humanity represents the dominant "straight" society and the three characters represent each of these ideologies. Assimilation is to return to Earth, to integrate into the dominant culture and lose some of the inherent joy and "otherness" that being queer brings. It's no coincidence that the character representing this path is a trans woman who is known for defecting from her faction and crossing over to every other side while repeating the mantra "I've never betrayed anyone in my life", it is a coincidence however that her faction's war efforts are lead in part by God's Strongest Chaser herself (as far as I'm aware the Halimede Twitter Account is not affiliated with the game, but I find it funny that the assimilation path is represented by someone who a character whose gimmick account argues "t4t is incest"). It is a life of peace. But it is a life of compromise. Of giving up humanity's dream of the stars. To be grounded and tethered to Earth forever.

The Activism Path represents the idea of staying in Earth's orbit but never surrendering even an ounce of the queer identity for the sake of acceptance. Forcing the dominant culture to argue with us on our terms. Accept us on our terms. It is a life of constant battle but in that battle we will save those on Earth, invite them into the stars, embrace them with acceptance and love. Let them join us or remain where they are. This is a life of constant war, knowing that until all are loved and accepted, no one is and so we continue fighting. Letting people change sides. Nothing changes but maybe it's better that way.

Separation is the idea of abandoning Earth entirely. To become so incompatible with the dominant culture that we are no longer "human" to those who remain tethered. We are unapproachable. Separate. Unique. Other. Queer above anything else and incapable of creating a rational dialogue with the dominant culture. It is picking up your toys and walking away. Going far enough away from the culture war that it will never be able to reach you.

The author of the Halimede account once wrote, while in character, that this is the saddest ending of them all because it's unsustainable and that it does not address the inherent intersectional fighting between communities, allowing wars to simply break out further away from our blue marble in the distant stars. It is a life of abandoning war without embracing peace. To live separate in bubbles apart.

The ending of the game forces you to pick. There is no existing outside of these options. Maybe one day we'll find other ways to be but within the view of this game they are all we have. Embrace Earth, declare war on Earth or abandon Earth.

Choose.

I admit. Since the pandemic and coming out as trans, I've favored Saturn's ideology more than others. Completely giving up on "humanity" and only working within circles of those whose acceptance of queer culture is baked in. I fought so hard to accept who I was and "know the devil", so to speak, that I pulled back and withdrew.

Both games have a lot of themes about the demons ones must face within queer culture and outside of it. The way we hurt ourselves, hurt our allies and how the world outside societal, structural and individual will force us to compromise, to cut away parts of ourselves.

These games are masterpieces.

I wish I found them earlier in my life. I want everyone able to read these words to find them now.

[missbliss12]

Just letting you know, there's an anon going around messaging people that you ship a child with their caretaker and urging them to reconsider interacting with your posts

Thank you to the anon who messaged me about this, and thank you to the anon who is unhappily engaging with my work! As a fine artist, comic artist, and person who likes to think about culture, stories, and history, I’ve been wanting to write about the Dynamic Duo for a while. This is a good opportunity for getting those various drafts together. And for anyone who’s curious about DC comic dynamics and likes, like me, to play with comics… I hope this can be an interesting little read into the various ways of reading Batman and Robin, and why one might choose to engage in a queer reading of “Brudick.”

Bruce and Dick: Father and Son, Brothers in Arms, Partners Fighting Crime

First, Bruce and Dick can certainly be read as “Father and Son.” There are several Dynamic Duo stories from various decades that do this, some of which I quite enjoy.  

Like in Batman Vol. 1, No. 20 (1944), where Bruce has to fight Dick’s corrupt blood relations to retain guardianship of his almost son/best friend.

And in writer Tom Taylor, artist Bruno Redondo, colorist Adriano Lucas, and co.’s Nightwing comics, including Nightwing Vol. 4, No. 100 (2023).

But “Father and Son” isn’t their only definitive relationship.  

Dick wasn’t adopted by Bruce at first for logistical reasons inside and outside of text (the difficulties of single men adopting kids during the 40s, when Batman and Robin was first published, for example.) There are comics that describe them as brothers for example, including when Dick first leaves to attend university as a young man and when he dons the Batman cowl after Bruce “dies.”

Batman & Robin Vol. 1, No. 7 (2009) by Grant Morrison, Cameron Stewart, and co.

Batman Vol. 1, No. 217 (1969), by Irv Novick, Dick Giordano, and Frank Robbins.

(Said vow of manliness was then followed up by Dick crying like a heartbroken heroine of a 1960s romance comic.)

Young Romance No. 125 (1963)

Dick and Bruce have even, on significant occasions, denied being father and son (though one could choose to read that as the first step of a cautious, tsundere journey towards patrilineal bonds)

Batman Vol. 1, No. 439 (1989), by Marv Wolfman, Pat Broderick, Adrienne Roy, and co.

The bond that Bruce asserts with Dick in this compelling story is based not on him replacing Dick’s parents, but on bonding with him as a similarly traumatized and wounded child.

This resonates with the words of David Mazzuchelli, fantastic mainstream and indie comic artist behind Batman: Year One. In the “Afterwords” section of Year One, Mazzuchelli describes the pair as being a pair of innocent, un-sexed twelve-year-old boys (Bruce mentally) who connect as best friends pretending to be heroes. 

(Take a look at Austin Kleon’s blog for the full post where this comes from – all photo credits to him)

This reading of the Dynamic Duo who are mainly partners, fighting against the crime that destroyed their parents, vibes with Darwyn Cooke’s beautifully rendered DC: The New Frontier (2004).

As Batman explains, they are “two lost souls who found each other”... romantic, no?

2. Bruce and Dick: Romantic Partners

With all the various interpretations of Bruce and Dick over the decades, from the perspectives of various writers and artists, there is also room for a romantic reading. Not just the comic panels taken out of context and spoofed on the internet. From this Reddit post… 

…To “A Brief History of Dick: Unpacking the gay subtext of Robin, the Boy Wonder”, a great summary by Glen Weldon, author of The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture. The comics themselves are ripe for various – *eh-hem* – creative readings and misinterpretations.  

Canon Jokes about Batman and Robin’s Relationship

But Bruce and Dick’s ambiguous relationship is also referenced in DC’s canon comics, like World's Finest Year 6: The Imp-Possible Dream (1999) by Karl Kesel, Peter Doherty, and Robert Campanella.

By aligning Dick with Lois Lane, damsel in distress, DC’s officially published comics pokes at the stability of a purely platonic father and son relationship between the Dynamic Duo.

Then there are the much more disturbing jokes from the Joker in Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (1989) by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean. 

Joker makes plenty of insinuations about Batman’s mental wellness and his attraction to a Robin. Queerness as pathological isn’t new to Batman – it’s embodied in the Joker, a lipstick and acrylic-wearing man obsessed with another man. Joker not only evokes drag queens; in Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (2017-2018) by Enrico Marini, he even dresses as one.

It’s easy to forget the Joker’s queerness with Heath Ledger’s highly popular elemental Joker, Joaquin Phoenix’s sad boy follow-up, and the heterosexual, Harley Quinn-touting Joker of the Batman animations. But I think Joker has lasted – and surpassed Robin in popularity – because Robin was a good boy who was scandalously attached to gay jokes while Joker was a bad guy, who one, historically, could easily accept as being evil.

And then Robin became the Joker.

Like Sin City, Frank Miller’s infamous Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again is a testosterone and titty fueled extravaganza. And it makes Dick a Joker mutant targeting Bruce’s new sidekick, former female Robin, current lovely Catgirl, Carrie Kelly. A side-by-side comparison shows who is more desirable and healthy amongst them.

Dick envies Carrie, going so far as plotting to steal her body by skinning her alive. 

It’s not a good look on Dick. It is also sad, twisted, and one of the most fascinating ways Frank Miller could have acknowledged Dick’s mixed cultural legacy within DC published comic (even one set in an alternate universe). Here is a panel of Dick declaring his wicked love, driving Bruce to (lover’s) suicide.  

So there is room for laughable and sick interpretations of romantic Brudick. Now let’s take a look at a healthier option for these not-quite lovers, enemies, partners, and family members.

3. Batman’s (and Robin’s) Queer Liberation: Fredric Wertham, Feminism, and Kevin Conroy

I’m personally captivated by a romantic reading of Bruce and Dick. Stories revolve around conflict and that poses A LOT OF PROBLEMS. It also has led to plentiful interesting fanart and fanfiction that tries to make sense of decades of stories with a cohesive narrative. While there’s plenty of porn (which, no anti is entitled to shame others about), it also involves strangely compelling coming-of-age stories that few other slash pairings can inspire.  

Also, Bruce and Dick’s queer potential is really important for Western comics history – it’s part of what Fredric Wertham M.D. took comics to task for in the 1950s, leading to a (flawed) study, a Senate Hearing, censorship and comic codes, as well as the creation of family friendly female characters! Wertham clearly read the comics as queer – and that still holds currency for other LGBTQIA comics fans who see themselves in Batman and Robin. 

Excerpts from pg. 190 of Fredric Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent (1954):

Wertham also accuses Wonder Woman and her friends of loving women to the detriment of men on page 193:

DC superhero media has a history of deviant queerness – to say no is to deny an important facet of comics history. 

Mining said queerness can give room for female characters to be more than objects of men’s violence/sexual objectification. One of my favorite Batgirl comics gets Batgirl away from Dick Grayson, putting her on her own journey of friendship, love, and self-fulfillment in the capable hands of Babs Tarr.

From Batgirl, Vol. 4, No. 40 (2015):

Other female characters who have flourished when given the ability to be more than love interests include Batgirl’s bestie, Supergirl, in Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow (2021-2022) by Tom King, Bilquis Everly, and co.

Superhero stories are so big, full of questions about what makes a person moral and how/whether they can ever truly belong. Do stories that play with Bruce and Dick as romantic connect to those ideas? They certainly do.

And, as we see from the autobiographical comic of Kevin Conroy, iconic voice of various animated Bat-men, these questions and deviations can enrich our superhero stories too. Excerpts below from “Finding Batman” by Kevin Conroy, J. Bone, and Aditya Bidikar, published in DC Pride 2022.

The Batman and Robin stories are so strange, plentiful, and varied – there’s room for various interpretations, none of them “wrong.” 

If the anon who’s messaging other social media users to stop looking at my art wants to tackle issues like child exploitation, or if they want to support girls and women who are in danger of incest or rape, they can donate and spread awareness of organizations like Save The Children, Planned Parenthood, and others using ProPublica’s Nonprofit Explorer.

And for wholesome DC comic recs with gals of color, I recommend DC comics like Diana and Nubia: Princesses of the Amazon (2022) by Shannon Hale, Dean Hale, and Victoria Ying and Girl Taking Over: A Lois Lane Story (2023) by Sarah Kuhn and Arielle Jovellanos. My twin collaborator and I are also working on stories that tackle superheroines and intersectional feminism – stories which criss-cross with our platonic and romantic Brudick stories!  

[alpaca-clouds]

Arcane Season 2 - How Bad Pacing Can Ruin Everything

So, Arcane season 2 ended. And I am sorry, I need to vent.

I am honestly not sure whether the rumors are true and this were originally meant to be more seasons. The Riot CEO apparently denies it, but then again, I have seen CEOs confidently go out on stages to talk about a project which they knew was cancelled at that point in time. So, sorry, but I will never ever trust a CEO. Lying is like 50% of their jobs. Being greedy is the other half. Sorry, not sorry.

I am gonna write something about disability in Arcane (overall) during the next few days, but let me just talk a bit about the pacing issues of season 2.

Spoilers for season 2 - all of it - obviously.

Believe me or not, but I know the exact issue of Arcane season 2. It is called: Too many characters. Too many plotlines. It is something that easily happens when writing an ensemble story (no matter what the format is you publish the story in - it happens in books, movies, shows, games). At times it works fine if you manage to weave the entire ensemble into the same main plot. But as soon as you wanna give everyone their own little storyarc with a bit of their own themes, it often goes haywire. Either you will end up dropping some characters to the side and not properly finish up their story, or you will end up rushing everything. Neither is gonna be good.

Here I am mainly thinking... Was the entire Black Rose/LaBlanc stuff planned to be there from the beginning? Was it put in later? I mean, given that the entire story felt like it might set up Mel as a Champion for LoL... How do I put it? Mel was too overdesigned in the show, to not be a future Champion. That was my feeling from the beginning. I don't know if they gonna make her a Champion, but man, it feels like it.

But no, the main issue really is the pacing. There is just too much stuff happening.

I will remain, that the thing that shows this better than anything was the second "arc" of season 2. Episode 4-6. And the general way the entire Caitlyn, Vi, Jinx thing plays out. We have the following things happen in the first six episodes of season 2:

Cait's mother dies

Cait swears revenge and asks Vi to assist her as an enforcer

Vi does not want to. Ends up getting drunk.

Vi decides to do it anyway.

They do a bit of chemical warfare for good measures.

They go down there. Fight Jinx. Vi cannot do it - partly because Isha.

Cait breaks up with Vi and becomes the evil fascist dictator

Vi becomes an alcohol addict.

Except, never mind, Caitlin is already feeling shitty about it next episode.

Jinx gets Vi and Magic Pixie Dreamgirls her out of her new-found addiction.

Jinx and Vi are good again. They go help Vander.

Cait meets Vi for the first time since the break up. They instantly are back on the same page.

Like, there is so many plothooks in this storyline alone that do go completely unexplored.

There are two characters here, that do play a role in the last three episodes too and that felt like they were some proper characters at some point. Those two are Maddie - the Scottish-dialect enforcer girl - and... Frankly, I do not feel like looking up the name. The big burly one, who after the break-up takes care of Vi.

Those two feel like they were at some point meant to be more real characters. But because of the pacing, they are barely ideas. Maddie starts making out with Caitlyn because...? I don't know. Because I literally do not know anything about this character but "she is an enforcer", "she is queer", "she is attracted to power(?)", and thats it.

And the other guy goes with Vi because... Uhm... I don't know. I know literally nothing about this chaaracter other than that he is big and an enforcer. *shrugs*

It most certainly feels like there was some planned version of this show, in which Cait and Vi both had a proper corruption arc. In which we really saw the two of them struggle. In which we actually saw Piltover and Zaun under the control of Commander Caitlyn and Noxus, and saw the horrible things they were doing and what it was doing with Caitlyn. In which we also saw Vi struggling with addiction and stuff.

But that was not the version we got in the end. Instead in this version... things go magically well.

Hooray?

Same with Jinx. Her mental health issues just magically get better when Isha is there, because that is what the story needs to happen now.

Here, too, it also feels like huge chunks of the story are missing. It feels like there was a story going more into the relationship of Sevika and Jinx for a bit. But if that story had been there once, it was most certainly no longer there. It was hinted at, yeah, but that's it.

And then there is the entire magic plot.

Look, I think among the fans of the LoL Lore I am not the first one to say: "Yeah, trying to marry the worldbuilding of Arcane to the established Runeterra worldbuilding does not work, because of the magic." Runeterra so far was always a fairly high magic world - at least that was implied by comics and short stories. Magic was a common thing in this world. Otherwise we could not have that many magic champions and a whole place whose entire thing it had been: "We are anti-magic Nazis building mage concentration camps!"

When Riot said, that Arcane was now the main canon, A LOT of fans of the lore were like: "You get that it is not gonna work." And yeah, Arcane Season 2 clearly shows how it doesn't work.

Because the way they put in the entire "Mel is magic, also the Black Rose is a thing" stuff just... It did not fit in the entire plot around it. Because Arcane had been designed as a world where magic was very rare and strange. But now Mel had to be magic and somehow had to be connected to the Black Rose.

Also... What the fuck even happened there in the end? Why put that in? Why make Mel go against LaBlanc? I am sorry, but that was simply too much for this plot. The entire Black Rose stuff stuck out of this plot like - pardon the pun - a thorn.

Generally there are several relationships that feel, like they had at one point been a whole more explored, but then got dropped to the wayside.

As I said, Sevika and Jinx are definitely an example. Ekko and Heimerdinger as well. I also feel like what was episode 7 of the show was probably originally more than one episodes and slower paced - though it still to me was the one episode in this, that kinda worked in of itself. And that the Ekko and Jinx relationship was better established.

I also feel that Viktor and that echo of Skye was probably at some point supposed to actually have talks. Like: "I will miss talking to you." - "No, you won't." Okay? THEN SHOW ME THEM TALKING PLEASE?!

Which kinda brings me down to the main thing that happened because of the pacing issue. Season 2 of Arcane knew only two extremes in terms of "Show, don't tell". Either it goes full "music video" in whcih indeed it just shows us shit without context or dialogue - or we get the information just via dialogue, in a complete tell.

This also shows in the last episode, with the entire thing of Piltover asking the Zaunites for help, after brutally surpressing them forever. Yeah, I see where they were going with this. About being the bigger people and planting seeds and what not. But frankly, there might have been a time and space for a story like that, if properly told (you know, with giving more of the Zaunites a voice in this story, showing more of the conflict and spacing this plot out over several episodes). But a) it was not properly told, and b) a world in which several genocides happen while Trump somehow won a second term is not that world. Yes, b) is not the fault of anyone working on Arcane. That was simply bad luck on their part. But a) is very much their fault - and even if we did not have a Palestinian Genocide and no second Trump term: Without a) being done properly, it would not have worked. It would have just not felt quite as miserable.

You know, the most frustrating thing about this was, that... While I think that one way or another I would still have hated how the show handles the topic of disability (again, I will write about this during the next few days), I generally might have liked the same plot, if it had been given the needed space to breathe.

Like... Sure, I would have never really been on board with "fascist Caitlyn", or rather with "fascist Caitlyn, who gets then forgiven by everyone". But I could have somewhat swallowed it, if that forgiveness had to be earned. But because of the breakneck speed of this show, it never got earned. I am not even talking about redemption arcs here - those are always a headache - but specifically about the fact that Caitlyn gets instantly forgiven by everyone.

Also, lol. The entire thing with Ekko convincing Jinx to come along off-screen. That was unelegant.

Heck, it feels in the first four episodes, as if there was an arc being set up for Sevika in general. And it feels like that arc needed to happen, given that Sevika ends up on the COUNCIL OF PILTOVER in the epilogue. However, that Arc just does not happen. Then, like... why set it up?

That is general the issue. There is a lot of set-up and very, very little payoff to any of it.

And here is the thing. I have heard people argue about whether or not this was meant to have more seasons. But frankly: I do not think that the writers who wrote season 1 would have written this story this way had they known it would be two seasons.

Mind you, compared to some people I would not rate the writing in season 1 higher than maybe 6 or 7 of 10. It was solid, but not overwhelmingly great. But season 2 in comparison is a 2 of 10, maybe a 3 of 10, if I am being gracious.

And frankly, I do not think any writer, who is in any way worth their salt, would write a story where a main character goes evil, and then do exactly nothing with it. I mean, sorry, us writers, we are a dramatic bunch. And we will not resist the drama being served on a silver platter unless we are forced too. I cannot imagine a single writer, who will go with the end of episode 3 and then not write a bunch of angst with Caitlyn and Vi - unless they were forbidden.

And mind you, CaitVi is by far the ship I am least invested in. But it is simply such a glaring example of where the plot is rushed in a way that it hinders the character arcs.

Oh, and also... Lest. Lest in the first six episodes clearly felt like a character, who was going to play a role. Only to then disappear to not be seen again during the finale. What happened to Lest? Is she dead? Is she alive? I guess we'll never know.

*sighs* I am sorry. I really am. I am just... very disappointed. This has been a mess. And I think it would not have needed to be.

Like, the animation is still the most pretty thing ever made in the world. But man... The plot? The plot sucks balls. And not in the sexy way.

[eds6ngel]

could you do a sleepover gone smutty for chrissy x reader? 💋

just like in the movies ꒰ঌ ໒꒱

virgin!chrissy cunningham x fem!reader

summary: whilst watching 'black swan' with your best friend, a certain sex scene comes on the screen, to which chrissy is very intrigued as to what it feels like...

warnings: SMUT!! oral (chrissy receiving.) orgasms. kissing. pet names (honey, sweetie, baby.) teensy bit of corruption kink. virgin!chrissy. experienced!reader. queer!reader. swearing. 'black swan' spoilers? 2010s!au. mentions of homophobia. food mentions. some fluff at the end!! [1.8k].

a/n: thank you so much for the request, hun!! just wanna preface by saying thank you to my queer best friend and random posts on reddit for helping me with the description of this. my poor lil virgin self was confused as to how to describe the sensations, but hopefully i got it somewhat accurate in the end :')

You and your best friend Chrissy are enjoying a girls sleepover at your place on a beautiful spring Friday night. Your parents were out of town on a conference trip, so you had the entire place to yourself. Perfect for the both of you to be silly, have aggressive pillow fights, and watch ‘Black Swan’ at the loudest volume possible.

You two are about an hour into the film, occasionally tucking into the bowl of popcorn laid out in front of you. But, you’d both much rather prefer to dig into your individual bars of chocolate on the bedside counters.

You would be lying if you didn’t put this film on for a little bit of self-pleasure for yourself. Although an early 2010’s movie, the sex scene in this film was actually targeted towards a female audience, so it felt special to feel yourself represented authentically on screen in a sexual sense this early on in film history.

When Nina and Lily’s lips crash into one another, Chrissy lets out a little “Oh my gosh!” beside you. Chrissy was always accepting of your queerness, despite the snide remarks from her parents anytime you went to her house. Her shock was obviously related to the context of the movie, the scene was a pure shock factor after all.

However, Chrissy’s eyes seem to dilate when Nina’s head is thrown back, Lily’s mouth attached to her cunt as she eats the woman out.

“Um…” Chrissy squeaks out, “What does that feel like? With, you know… another woman?”

Your eyes take note of the way Chrissy’s thighs are pretty close together, almost squeezing as a way to relieve something…

And it’s hot. It’s super fucking hot.

Your attitude immediately changes to one of sensuality, teeth lightly grazing your bottom lip, angling your body to the side as you sneakily look her up and down in her pink nightdress.

“Why? Is it making you feel a certain way?” you ask, trying to get her to speak up.

Her pussy tightens at the words, her eyebrows raising as she purses her lips, “Feels good… down there.”

She is very shy with you, a new side of her unlocking that the neither of you were aware of. You understand how scary it is realising that maybe you aren’t as straight as you thought you were, so you try to make the situation as comfortable as possible for her.

You grab her bare thigh, pushing it apart, her moisturised, smooth skin brushing softly against your fingertips. Your other hand runs gently across the centre of her cloth-covered vulva, appreciating the way she flinches against your touch. “Yeah? Right here?”

She nods, her eyes not being able to look away from the sight of your black-painted fingernails tracing against her. She never thought she would be so into this. She’s only been with Jason in the past, and he was abstinent, so this would not only be her first time with a girl, but her first time altogether.

“Do you want me to show you what it feels like, Chris?”

“Um…” she thinks, a little hesitant on the whole situation. “I’ve never done this before…” she quietly speaks out.

“Hey, hey,” you shush her softly, “That’s okay.” Your hand flutters tenderly against the side of her cheek, “I can guide you completely through this, okay? And if at any time you want to stop, just let me know, okay?”

She lets out a sigh, nodding softly, “I’m just scared…”

“Scared about what, honey?”

Her breath hitches at the word ‘honey.’ She already liked the sound of that. She wanted to hear you say that more. It was so sweet, so tender, so… loving.

She gulps, “I’m scared I won’t like it…”

You chuckle softly, “As I said, you can stop any time you want. But, the way your pretty little thighs flinched at my touch… I think you’ll enjoy a whole lot.”

She didn’t realise how much notice you had taken to her small actions of pleasure like that. If you took note of that, what would happen when she couldn’t even try to hide it any longer?

You shift your body so your face is in line with her legs, beginning to delicately place tender kisses along the insides of her thighs. Your fingertips knead into her plushy skin, cupping perfectly into the palms of her hands. You refrain from giving her hickeys, although you’d really like to, just in case her parents notice when she wears that nightdress, or even her cheer uniform, at home.

You tap the lining of her underwear with your pointer finger, “Legs up, sweetie.”

Those pet names were gonna send her to Heaven, but before she can dwell on that, she follows your soft-spoken commands, lifting her legs up so you can delicately remove her pink panties, perfectly matching with her nightdress.

You sigh as you take in the sight of her pretty pussy, “Wow, baby… So gorgeous.” You move your middle finger through her glistening folds, her slick immediately collecting on her fingers. Chrissy lets out a soft sigh above you, her legs flinching at the sensation.

“So wet for me, honey. You ready to find out what it feels like?”

She nods more confidently now, the scene long gone on the small television perched on your bedroom dresser.

“Okay. Just tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

She hums in response, before you dive into her pussy. You drag your tongue from her puckered hole to her clit, swirling your tongue around it, letting her feel every sensation of pleasure.

Chrissy cannot believe what she is experiencing. Everything is so… smooth. Your mouth is so warm, and adds so much extra wetness to what she could already feel between her thighs. The sensation is truly unlike anything she had experienced before.

Your tongue is flicking side to side on her clit, Chrissy’s soft moans filling the air, the calm sounds of the film fading behind you. That was no longer the focus. She was the focus. Only her.

She can feel the sensations all over her body, to the point where she feels as if she’s floating, “Gosh, that’s so nice…”

“Yeah?” you come up for air, “Is it as good as you imagined?”

“Better,” she squeaks out, your mouth wrapping around her clit and sucking, causing her to take a harsh intake, “It’s so warm and tingly.”

“Mhmm,” you mumble against her core, completely unaware of the absolute vibrations it would send through her, Chrissy let out a loud cry.

“Holy shit babe, you sound so pretty for me,” you let out without a second thought, you mind consumed by Chrissy.

You’re determined now, your movements speeding up as her moans become more jagged, her hips softly moving against your face. You let her body take over, wanting her to experience everything she ever needed. You could always be rough and demanding with her another time. God, you hoped there was another time.

What once started as small waves were slowly growing into large tides. What she would normally run away from with squeaks and giggles at the beach was the complete opposite here. She wanted to be drowned in them forever.

“Uh, uh, uh, uh.” Those were the only sounds escaping Chrissy’s mouth, her eyes closed and head thrown back. She was on a different planet entirely, never wanting to descend back to Earth.

You moaned, licked, sucked, anything to get her closer to that edge. You could sense by the way her legs were closing further and further into your head, she was almost there. You just had to get her to that final wave.

“Sweet— Sweetie, my gosh. My gosh, something is happening. Feels so good.”

“That’s it, baby,”you cooed at her, “Almost there for me. Just a little bit more, I got you, honey.”

There was something about her innocence about it all that sent your brain into a spiral. The fact she had never felt an orgasm in her life was something you were determined to keep sacred to yourself. You wanted to be her first… and definitely only.

“Ah, ah! I’m gonna— My gosh, oh!”

“Honey, honey, baby, look at me,” you encourage her. She hadn’t opened her eyes in a long time, not even throughout any of your praise, but something in her mind compelled her to look down at you. And thank god she did.

You make direct eye contact with her, completely parting with her lips as you lowly say, “Cum for me,” before sucking as hard as you can on her pretty, swollen clit.

She lets out a loud whine, thighs trapping you against her as they shake uncontrollably. It feels like fireworks have exploded in her stomach, electric shocks being sent to her brain as she has not a single thought in her mind. It’s so… consuming, mind-numbing. She doesn’t even know where she is. Heaven, Earth, Mars, she doesn’t care, as long as she gets to experience that again… and experience it with you.

Her legs are still shaking as you part from her clit, your hands massaging the plushy skin in order to relax her body and muscles. “You doin’ okay?” you ask gently, Chrissy still looking utterly blissed out.

“Yes… I wanna feel that again.”

“You do, huh?” you chuckle with a sweet kiss to her inner thigh, “Well, I’m happy to oblige. But, for now, I think you need some rest.”

The movie is coming towards the end, only a couple more scenes before the ending. You’ll have to watch it again with her someday, hopefully not getting too distracted this time.

You encourage Chrissy to go to the bathroom whilst you set up the bed, discarding of the uneaten snacks and fluffing the pillows for an ultimate night of comfort.

As she returns, her make-up had been removed, much to your dismay. Seeing her mascara dripping down her cheeks was a sight you’d wish to see every goddamn day on this Earth.

She tucks herself in neatly beside you, snuggling under the covers and facing you. She opens her arms up, encouraging you to cuddle her, to which you agree, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek as you get comfy.

“Thank you,” she simply whispers.

“Of course. Anytime, okay?”

She hums, before slowly drifting off into a deep and content sleep. You had no idea where this had left you in terms of the friendship and relationship barrier, but it was something you could worry about in the morning. For now, you could fall asleep with the prettiest girl in existence in your arms, and that’s all that mattered.

taglist: @agxxb @robinsno1lesbian

[flamevbirdv]

video essayists for these trying times!

I watch a lot of youtube so I thought I could round up some recs!

verilybitchie my favorite of the list. bi, trans lense on queer media. expert on calling out lazy representation. famously known for their video "good lgbt representation is boring" but my favorite is a bisexual history of dracula

The Morbid Zoo incredibly smart and sharp commentary on movies and social media. horror fan, clown fan, twilight apologist. my favorite video of hers is the pale man:physical fascism

Maggie Mae Fish powerhouse of the media analysis sphere. I learn so much every time I watch any of her videos. very clear spoken and funny. if you haven't checked her out yet this is your sign. some of her greates hits are "LGBT in fantasy" "superman won't save the cat" "fight club, an analysis" but loki, stalker & the war on terror blew my mind

Princess Weekes bi black icon. the place to go for videos on pop culture, race, feminism, etc. her video how true crime reveals the corruption of the legal system changed my life, no hyperbole. also check out her video on "purity culture & fandom"

Rowan Ellis queer media and history. recently tackles cultural issues like "the infantilization of millenial women" and "corporate queerbaiting" the problem with activist characters is a personal favorite of mine

Ladyknightthebrave a channel with less videos than most of the folks above but you need to watch her video on holocaust cinema

Quality Culture channel shared by two people who love movies (and music!) and research the shit out of their videos. some I really enjoyed are "death note: finding meaning in a meaningless world" "the iron giant: a study in heartfeel film making" and the conflicting ideals of hayao miyazaki

The Princess and the Scrivener it's been a while since they uploaded a video but if you are a fan of disney, these are your gals. however I have to reccomend their videos on dissability and ableism "the wonder of misscasting" and the shape of ableism a joke on the shape of water, yes this video is that old

BONUS!

Elliot Sang he talks about the real world with probably the most nuanced view I've seen from a youtuber ever. another list of greatest hits: "ADHD: a nightmare under capitalism" " is tik tok ruining music?" and "the problem with video essays" LMAO

[damsels-n-dice]

BIRTHDAY SALE

in celebration of my upcoming birthday, my game 'til it kills us is 80% off! that means you can grab it for just $1 for the next two weeks!

'til it kills us is a game about queer activism, community, and the mental health toll of constantly fighting to survive -- all encased in a urban fantasy setting and the wonderful buddy system. each of the game's nine playbooks is focused on a different negative emotion, which fuels that playbook's unique magical powers. will your characters succumb to the corrupting force of their magic, or improve their own life as they fight to help others?

the game is still in playtesting, so i'm also adding various purchase goals to sweeten the deal! my dream here is to get enough support for this project that i have to add even more goals beyond the first six:

at $3, this game gets a proper cover image

at $5, i'll write a PWYW lyric game next month

at $7,  'til it kills us gets a full formatting update (v0.4)

at $10,  i'll add 5 community copies 

at $15, i'll write a (fully-playable) PWYW game by the end of the year

at $20,  i'll write a setting + character companion book for 'til it kills us

if any of that sounds appealing to you, check out the sale at the game link above, or by going directly to my birthday sale page!

[snowqueen]

If I get read as trans at a "queer women's event," dykes assume I'm a straight transsexual guy. Ironically, this grants me free access. I bear no resentment toward my FtM brothers, but I do grind my teeth over women's spaces and dyke circles that welcome them yet which exclude my transsexual sisters. I am infuriated by the underlying assumption: my brave FtM brothers, who have sacrificed to become men, are just conformist women, and my bold MtF sisters who have fought to be women, are really men with a fetish for being marginalized. Are we dykes so fragile, so afraid, that we cannot allow anyone to enter, leave, or even explore? When we imply FtM men are still gay women, how can we also fear that "we are losing our butches"?

Our butches? Whose butches? Does the dyke community own its members? Our sex lives? Our genders? Does it control us for our own good?

Dykes are not fragile flowers. Many femmes wear the flaming rose. It's a flower, but it'll fight back if you try to crush it. What tough flower would symbolize us butches? Or do we fear that butches are the fragile ones, anxious to leave the dykespace?

We fear men will undo us, erase us; that we must guard against their entrance into our spaces, or our sister's pants. But men have been part of butch-femme for as long as I can remember. Pre-electrical lesbian spaces contained trans-spectrum men who feared presenting as male in public, and butches who feared looking mannish because of laws, written and unwritten, that prohibited putting a vagina into a pair of pants. Medical transition has been around since the 1930s, and it has not destroyed us. There were gay men who shared our bar scene, and their business kept many of "our" bars afloat. The lesbian communities that most feared men also feared femmes, butches, transsexuals, and every other stripe of gender freedom.

Butch-femme is tough. We are tough. Our cultures have survived alcoholism, homophobia, beatings, corrupt vice squads, poverty, and the sex wars—plus all the other problems of living. I think we can survive transgender medicine.

The happiest butch-femme spaces I've seen are those that embrace the gender spectrum. There we find butches and femmes who go by "she" and love their unmodified bodies. We have FtMs who've done the works—T, top, and crotch—who may be men or butch or femme or more. They include me and others who transitioned into being butches. They include femmes without questioning their taste in lovers. And it works.

Men will not undo us. But an unchecked fear of men—of becoming a man, dating a man, having been forced to be one, looking too much like one, being too attractive to men in general, or aiding and abetting any of the above—can and will make our community unliveable if we let it. But we should not fear or police ourselves. If we did that, there'd be no butch or femme in the first place.

— Amy Fox, "BORDER CONTROL AND FRAGILE FLOWERS" from "Changed Sex. Grew Boobs. Started Wearing a Tie." from Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme (edited by Ivan E. Coyote and Zena Sharman, 2011)

[0neir0z]

So, I read your post about the idea of Alex and Nigel having internalised homophobia. And I’m actually kind of invested, so how do you think that internalised homophobia would present itself in both of them? Especially if let’s say miraculously Nigel didn’t die and they got to continue being crazy. Would they ever realise “this is kind of gay” or not?

omg hi this is my first ask but here's what i think!

tbh started thinking about this when i did this one trend on tik tok, and thought about far too much for a silly tik tok slideshow:

and specifically the order i put them in, as honestly it seeeemed intuitive at first and then i was hit with This Concept (will elaborate dw).

let's start with alex and his deal with this, i think it is less of a stretch. it's mostly just where and Who he is. (like come on teenage straight boys are So homophobic sometimes. can't even imagine how bad it was then if they're casual about that now.) the top student at a prestige school. the son of an incredibly rich and influential man set on the track of success. he has a girl he likes. and he can get away with anything he wants because of this and he will expend that privilege to no end. he is defensive of this life, against anything that would disrupt it. that's why he's So distressed by nigels presence. if we play with the gothic trope of murder and other deplorable or taboo actions as a substitute for repressed desire and queerness, this gets even clearer. getting dragged into nigels world and becoming intertwined and entangled in it is his worst fucking nightmare. of all the guys in the world that he could conceive of himself getting close with Like That it's a total Freak. this relationship, especially as alex remembers, is only violent. the only place he felt safe to first confront nigel about his deal was a place that he could easily threaten and endanger him. they're always fighting and alex almost always instigates. he doesn't want to be perceived like that, he doesn't want to feel so understood by nigel. he treats nigel and his actions with utmost disdain until after he died... but he mourned him. putting a pin in this rq to talk about nigel.

ngl this is a Bigger stretch as nigel obviously comes off as way more overtly gay. dawg was staring at his lips for like half the movie. (or maybe that's just how alex remembers it.) but also because his lifestyle is represented as an inherently taboo thing that plagues and poisons alex's life. (which in itself is kind of a homophobic media trope. the homosexual corrupting the upstanding member of society.) and i believe that his reclusion is kind of a double edged sword. he may have come to some terms that he is sexually attracted to men but his antisocial behavior doesn't ever indicate he'd be supportive of it outside of himself. but because he is all these things doesn't mean he understands it fully, understands himself fully. nigel was socialized generally in the same manner as alex, putting aside the abuse and dysfunction in the colbie household. he understands that some day he should be a powerful man. he understands his privilege can buy him time and freedom. he understands that there are social repercussions to how he lives his life and what would happen if he expressed what he wanted in less of a secretive way. i mean literally he keeps it contained to his dorm and his basement. and then The Concept hit me. it's maraclea. his internalized homophobia is manifested in his obsession with finding maraclea. that he and alex will have and take their own, the closest and most sacred relationship to the knights. their harvest widow. but nigel can't be maraclea. it's not right, it doesn't fit his mythology. he and alex cannot have each other in the way that he himself wants, he settles instead for being the spade. the right hand and the implement of killing for his knave, it's close but not quite right. and we see nigel getting close and doing everything but expressing his own feelings for alex. he's obsessed with alex's sex life and obsessed with susan and getting alex to take her as maraclea. he returns to his sexually abusive mother. basically he will do anything but actually kiss that mf. it is something he cannot accept yet.

as for if they'll ever realize if this relationship was queer? likely. ngl. it seemed like whatever they had going on was going to actually escalate there in their own fucked up way. (it's why i think alex mourned nigel and was sympathetic towards him when talking to sally about his life. and probably why he recalled nigel looking at him Like That. he was close to acceptance by that point.) in the inappropriate, obsessive, and violent way their friendship was. it probably wouldn't have been public and open, perhaps them labeling it as (knightly) brotherhood, alliance, or friendship still. but i don't think that would even be easy bc it would have to be secret. private only. if the feelings became romantic, i think that it would eat at nigel. ngl.

idk if that makes sense but ty for reading this if you did ig lol. way longer than i thought it would be.

[yourturntothrive]

The Death Game of our Modern Queer Existence

[YTTD - OST] 58.5 - saikai

Just a random thought, but… how would you fare in a death game? Your Turn to Die, Danganronpa, The Hunger Games, Squid Game. These are stories in which people are pitted against each other in a desperate struggle for survival. Do you think you’d survive to the end? Or would you be the first victim?

This was a discussion I had with my best friend a year ago, one which has become increasingly prescient since that time. We asked ourselves questions about how we’d react in that situation, what we’d do, and how we’d feel. Whether we would break down and doom out or maintain hope in the face of despair. At that time, neither of us had very high expectations for our own survival. The more we talked about this topic; the more for some reason, it started to feel all too real.

This essay was first started in 2023, it is now 2024. My friend and I are both queer, living in the United States. Here, targeted attacks against people like us are escalating, and on the 20th of January a Fascist political party will seize total control of our national government. They have made clear their intent to eliminate us, and other marginalized people, from public life. Through a coordinated effort, they have transformed our highest court into a piece of political machinery to assist in the party’s ongoing effort to rig the rules of democracy in their favor. They can be defeated, but we should be under no illusions that this deadly threat is one which can be overcome through voting or appealing to an increasingly corrupt court system. We can win, because we must. But this fight for survival is not one which can be won by playing by the rules of an opponent which seeks our complete eradication.

This impending Fascist threat joins climate change, wildfires, floods, growing inequality, a lingering global pandemic, and a multitude of other crises which comprise the multipocalypse that has now become a part of our modern life. It’s hard to think about the future, as it’s all too easy to feel like you won’t have one under these circumstances. It’s a horrible feeling that you are in some inexplicable way, unavoidably doomed. No matter how badly you want to live.

At this moment in time, queer and especially trans, nonbinary, gender non-confirming, and intersex existence is too often a constant struggle for survival. It’s a cruel game maintained by powerful interests seeking to turn our very lives into spectacle for their own political purposes and the sadistic amusement of their followers. Others desire nothing more than to profit from our desperation, our misery, and our deep desire to live full and meaningful lives. Some have it far better than others, but all of us are impacted by this shared reality.

The industries which control resources essential to our survival feel like tight collars around our necks. Medical and social systems we are forced to live under create a strict set of rules which restrict our movement, limit our bodily autonomy, and obstruct our ability to access gender affirming care. It’s all too easy to feel as though our bodies are not even our own. We live with a fear of being targeted just for existing as ourselves.

Our lived experience is often starkly marked and divided by trauma and major life shifts. For people who do not fit into the gendered molds assigned to them, transition is akin to a rebirth. The dissonance this presents can be uncanny. A body arising from the coffin of my previous self is still me, more me than ever. This new form can be a source of great euphoria and empowerment, but it can also subject you to an even stricter set of rules required to maintain it. Having a body which needs an external source of hormones serves as a consistent reminder that my body is different, that it requires more than just myself to maintain. That I can’t survive alone. The collar around my neck tightens slightly, and yet somehow I am more free than ever.

The death game of our queer existence is not fair. It’s cruel. Not everyone starts off with the same advantages or chances of survival. We all understand this on some level, even if we choose not to actively think about it. We seek to overcome our disadvantages however we can. Only by doing so can we defy the dystopia before us.

For us unwilling participants, forging strong bonds and community is key. Friends, partners; found family – these connections increase our chances of survival. They form powerful units of mutual support where each person’s weaknesses and strengths compliment the others’. Such networks create a whole that is far stronger than the sum of its individual parts. Humans are hardwired for this kind of collaboration in times of crisis. By working together we can overcome challenges that would be impossible if faced alone. In this twisted game, connection, altruism, and survival itself, are all bold acts of rebellion. So is joy and practical hope in the face of systems that would prefer that we all collectively doom out and slump into a state of false helplessness.

Because in so many horrible ways, this cruel game seeks to pull us away from our natural altruism and towards individualistic survival. It divides us, creates mistrust, and turns us against each other in the most painful of ways. As you read this, vital support is being exchanged, promises of life saving protection are being made, and plans for mutual survival are being drafted. Plans of hope, plans of life, plans of escape. Alliances are forged in flames of love, trust, and altruism, but others are broken against the painful obstructions of material necessity, limited resources, and the complexities of human relationships.

Perhaps most tragic among these, are maladaptive trauma responses which can turn you into a mirror image of everything you oppose. Knowingly or not, it is common for people to adopt the behaviors of the very people and systems that previously harmed them. When such abuse is your primary frame of reference for what power can look like, it’s easy to see why one would have this response in a situation where you know you need power to survive.

When we look ahead, it would be of great comfort to see people who made it out of this death game alive. People like us who survived what we are currently going through, who we can look up to, at the very least just to give us some idea of what we can expect to be like when we get older. But too often, there is no one like this there for us. We are forced to blaze a new trail largely on our own. The significant fear which comes with this is offset to some degree by the knowledge that every step we take opens a path for all who will come after us. Things are really hard right now, but through our struggles we will make things easier for every generation of queer people who come after us.

In this game, it is understandable why some gradually close their circle of who they plan to survive with to an increasingly narrow group of loved ones, at times even focusing exclusively on their own survival while averting their eyes to the suffering of those around them. In doing so they cast votes based on love, merit, and perceived worthiness that will determine the survival of themselves and others. Whether it’s due to submission to heart chilling fear or cold practical necessity, it’s generally difficult to judge those who participate in this way. The cruel rules of this game often make it impossible not to do so on some level.

Competing for limited resources in the obscene public arena of medical crowdfunding, or seeking the emotional energy of others in day to day social interactions, people often unknowingly mask their weaknesses and front their strengths, their value, their usefulness, and their worthiness. Worthiness to be included, to be thought of, to be empathized with, to be genuinely loved, to be cared for, and to be safe from harm. This impulse is understandable, because the cost of exclusion is so great.

Without a functional support network, experiences like systemic discrimination, social isolation, mental health struggles, and chronic poverty can make you feel as though you’re only a burden to others, somehow harmful or broken, and not worth the cost of keeping around. It can make you feel like you don’t have a place in the world. The idea that you can’t survive alone isn’t irrational, because no one truly can. It’s only human. Fear of being ostracized, excluded, and left behind is ingrained in us on an evolutionary level. Yet it happens far too often to people who did absolutely nothing wrong, their fates merely a consequence of random circumstance and the unfortunate cards they were dealt.

Death has many forms in this game. Your life can be taken from you even as your heart continues to beat. Being deprived of the hormones your body and mind need to develop and function properly to many trans people represents emotional and physical death. It is to be plunged back into a cold suffocating darkness after feeling, for only a short while, the warmth of sunlight on a body that until recently never felt like a part of you. Being isolated from others; never having a loving family or healthy community who sees you for who you really are; not knowing anything but abuse, conflict, and strife; these represent a death-like state of stasis in which growth, development, and true living cannot occur.

Through the trials of this cruel game arise horribly impossible decisions and terrifying questions. What does this existence even mean if you have to sacrifice others or ignore their anguish for your own sake? Can such a thing ever really be called a victory? How should we weigh our own needs against those of others and where is the boundary between selfishness and self-preservation? Acutely feeling the suffering of absolutely everyone is overwhelming, paralyzing, and beyond the emotional comprehension of most, but just how small should your bubble of empathetic focus be?

[YTTD - OST] 58 - PRAYER

When faced with this daunting challenge, rebellion is necessary. This means cultivating joy under far less than ideal circumstances, making meaningful connections with others even when it’s hard, and establishing mutual support networks which allow us to take care of ourselves and our communities. Maintaining practical optimism even in the face of the adversity before us is vital. This horrible death game can only be brought to an end with an opposite kind of force than what is used by our oppressors to maintain it. Never let them trick you into thinking you’re powerless, or that their control is absolute.

Life as a queer person may be really hard right now, but our existence is not one defined by suffering. The problems we face have solutions we can reach by working together. Our trauma doesn’t make us weak or broken, and over time the pain of the past will eventually fade. Even in tragedy, life goes on. Being able to accept and openly talk about these difficult feelings is vital to processing and working through them. The capacity to do this represents true strength in situations such as ours. Having to ask others for help doesn’t make you a burden or a failure. Reaching out when you need it is only human, and in this struggle you are far from alone! Things will get better, because we are all fighting for a better future together. You are unique in this world and utterly irreplaceable. You have a special role to play in ending this death game, even if it’s just surviving and pursuing your dreams in the face of adversity. That in itself is rebellion!

You will get through this, because even if it’s hard to fully believe it at first…

It's not your turn to die.

Opening and concluding art by @sylkiescoat

[strapped-and-beheaded]

Love interest ranked on how well they'd do polyamory

I think nearly none of these people should even be in any relationships, they should all be in therapy, but I'm ranking them on how many chapters of a fic there has to be before I'm convinced polyam works for them

starting strong with Black wolf, their route is just the pack's route and the pack is just a huge commune polycule, they all fuck you, they all care for your kids, you're their beloved alpha cumbucket, monogamy would be harder actually even.

this is just vibes but I think Robin could do well, you need to tell them what polyamory is tho, but like the lunch event where Sydney kisses you while leaving and Robin kisses you as well? kinda fun and flirty, kinda playful.

I just get good vibes I think Robin would have fun with it if you had a good talk about it and made sure you were all ready. yeah just vibes.

Whitney doesn't know what that is also, they don't care about gay shit like that(ignore that they are gay and have gay sex with you) but if they get multiple sluts that's awasomesauce, they're chilling, they tuned out the rest of the explaination after the part where you get to have awasome threesomes.

they see it as solely a sex thing for a while then one day realisation this is very romantic hits them square in the face and kills them on impact

Alex... ngl all I can think about is Dolya's homestead au. I think if you were dating he plans your futures together as a marrried couble on the farm growing old together with kids so he gets super averse to open relationships or hearing out polyamory, but if you start poly he'd be fine.

I can see him getting two attractive farmhands who are dating and he's trying to be normal about then you offer poly and he's not complaining. or just a ragtag group of 19 year olds working the farm fighting intruders and having to share rooms together at night until it gets really steamy and romantic... yeah homestead au supremacy

pure Sydney not in a million years. corrupt Sydney, very slowly. so many things they gotta unlearn about how they view love and life. if they were the one who had multiple crushes and lead through it I think you can slowburn that shit, harder if you wanted to date someone else.

but like I wouldn't be a Sydney fucker if I didn't wanna slowly queer up this repressed little church boy/girl more and more until they're near unregonizable and happier then they could have imagined. also it's canon my pc and my friends pc and my other friend's pc are all dating sydney and they are all in love and together rn it's canon

mid point honorable mention Avery. the fuck is a polygon or whatever you just said? they're not even actually dating you mono style. take off your clothes, take your money and leave.

Great Hawk does not understand what polyamory is, that is a bird, you're their spouse why do you need other people are they not providing enough support to you? why would they look at anyone else when they have the best spouse in you? they are grumpy because you brough the topic up but can be easily calmed, not changing their opinion tho.

alright you know what it is, Kylar active murder suicide risk. just for bringing it up they'll probably kidnap you. if you end up in a polycule by some miracle that relationship is a ticking time bomb baybeyyy. great if you get off on seeing Kylar suffer and want the risk of murder to spice up your life. which I do.

I got attacked by bees on the way to Eden's cabin once and she kept me in a dog cage for a week for cheating on her before I reloaded an earlier save because cage life got boring. genuine death wish.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Someone's been in the Revolutionary Girl Utena rabbit hole for a bit 👀

I don't even know what it's about, I just see it and get happy

Mind telling me a bit on what it's about? I might watch it myself if it sounds like my thing, bc you seem to have great taste in anime and games

I do have good taste thank you! *flips hair* lol just kidding,

Revolutionary Girl Utena is a surreal and wild queer feminist deconstruction of fairy tale romance and shoujo tropes and it has a lot to say about systems of power, cycles of abuse, the ways people cling to an ideal of innocent childhood which may have never existed anyway, the concept of purity, fear of change and loss, and whether becoming an adult inevitably means being corrupted in some way. Lots and lots of gender, lots of queer characters struggling with compulsory heterosexuality... but over all, it's a deeply meaningful story about the human condition and growing up in an imperfect world.

But also people turn into cows sometimes, there are elephants of surfboards at one point, and one character has a very emotive pet monkey in a tie. at least we think it's a monkey. It can be very silly, is what I'm saying.

The basic plot is that a girl named Utena lost her parents at a very age, but a prince came and comforted her, giving her a ring and telling her to never lose her strength and nobility. Rather than taking that as an engagement offer and aiming to be his princess though, Utena actually admires him so much that she decides to become a prince who saves girls in trouble too. She's determined to find the prince who changed her life though, and her search leads her to a very fancy and phallic looking Ohtori Academy.

Then, when this shitty popular guy makes her friend cry, Utena challenges a guy to a duel to make him pay (as you do). ONLY to find out that the student council of her school are all secretly dueling each other to be engaged to "the Rose Bride", a girl who is supposed to give whoever's engaged to her the power to revolutionize the world. As part of the student council, the shitty popular guy assumes Utena wants to "win" the Rose Bride too.

So next thing Utena knows, she's been dragged into a duel to "win" the "Rose Bride" (who is actually just Utena's classmate, Anthy). Utena thinks that fighting to possess a girl like she's an object is pretty screwed up, but on the other hand, she IS devoted to saving girls, and that shitty popular guy IS treating Anthy pretty badly....

Could be that she'll end up engaged to Anthy, whether she likes it or not....

It covers a lot of dark topics, from misogyny to abuse (sexual abuse included) to child predators to incest (never framed as healthy or okay though, in one case it initially comes off as a joke thing for a character, like the typical anime comedic brother/sister complex, but throughout this characters arc it becomes clear that no, it's really not, and it is not good for the character in question). It's not a graphic show by any means, it handles its subject matter tastefully imo, and the way it explores these things is very effective. It takes a while to build up to where it's going, but the journey is worth it.

If you're interested at all in queer anime or like...queer western cartoons even because odd are they'll have a Utena reference-- it's a must see because it was massively influential. It was made more than 20 years ago and really holds up still.

I also did a review series about it here a while back that people found handy!