#fight his big cousin he did not win but he didn't lose

[veone]

stefans pride n joy

[reignof-fyre]

I'm gonna say it: it's aemond's own fault he lost his eye in both the show and the book. Both times, he snuck out to claim vhagar. In the show, he wasn't stopped. In the book, three year old Joffrey Velaryon was with his dragon because he was an early riser and told Aemond to stay away from Vhagar, so Aemond - who was much older - pushed little three year old Joffrey over and, in his fear of being caught because he knew he was doing something his parents would like, claimed Vhagar and flew her for the first time.

Baby Joffrey, all of three years old, then of course runs to get his big brothers, likely crying and terrified. Because he's, y'know, A BABY.

In the show, Aemond claims Vhagar and with arrogance and smugness returns to the castle, high on the fact that he'd just claimed Vhagar, uncaring of how rude/insulting it may have been to claim Vhagar on the night of her previous riders funeral, like A NORMAL PERSON.

When, in the show, Rhaena and Baela confront Aemond with Luke and Jace, they're clearly upset. Their mother has just died, its her funeral, and their last tether to her - Vhagar - has been claimed by Aemond. They say he stole her, and while dragons can't be stolen, he did use underhanded tactics to obtain her and bond with her. And his haughtiness afterwards, towards the daughters of the woman whose dragon he just claimed, is what makes the altercation his fault.

Baela, upset: Vhagar is my mother's dragon!

Aemond, uncaring: Your mother is dead, and Vhagar has a new rider now.

Rhaena: she was mine to claim!

Aemond: then you should have claimed her. Maybe your cousins can find you a pig to ride. It would suit you.

Rhaena then hits Aemond, provoked into this by his cruel words and actions. Was it right? No. But it's literally the night of her mums funeral, Vhagar has been claimed by someone who clearly doesn't care about her mother, and he just insulted her. Aemond pushes Rhaena to the ground, so Baela slaps him in defense of her sister, and he punches her in the face.

Aemond: come at me again and I'll feed you to my dragon!

Now aemond is threatening to murder his cousins, which is par for the course for hid character. He always had kinslaying in him.

The fight devolves even more, and Jace and Luke get involved, defending their cousins. Luke, a little kid, is whacked and shoved to the ground, so Jace jumps in. Then Baela decides to help, and she and Luke - both of them younger and smaller - start wailing on Aemond (u go kids).

Aemond kicks Luke off of him, throws Baela off, and stands only to grab Luke - only five - by the throat and hold a rock over his head and threaten him.

Aemond: you will die screaming in flames just as your father did, bastard.

Luke, terrified and upset: my father is still alive!

Aemond, amused: he doesn't know, does he? Lord Strong.

This is when Jace pulls his knife, literally the size of my thumb, and attacks. Jace us quickly unarmed by Aemond, who is still holding the rock, and Luke sees the blade. Aemond holds the rock over them, smirks at Rhaena and Baela, then gets sand thrown in his face and Luke slashes at him wildly, not even aiming for his eye, just aiming to stop Aemond from hurting Jace and himself and his cousins, because at this point Luke has heard death threats, and seen Aemond take on him and the other three easily and win, so of bloody course this terrified little boy used a weapon to defend himself when it became necessary.

After, Alicent makes the situation about her because she's a poor uwu baby (gag me with a chainsaw, I loathe her) and attacks Rhaenyra as though Rhaenyra and her kids were in the wrong? Gurl.

Aemond will then go on to use him losing his eye as an excuse to use his war dragon to chase fourteen year old Luke on tiny baby Arrax and have the FUCKING AUDACITY to look shocked when it went wrong? Aemond is still at fault for Luke's death even if "he didn't mean it" or "he lost control" (he's not a true dragon lmfao)

In the book, Joffrey - who is three - returns with Jace and Luke, who grabbed wooden swords - they won't help against Vhagar bbys - in defense of their brother.

Despite it being three on one, Aemond was winning the fight until Luke slashed him, and good thing he did otherwise Aemond wouldn't have stopped in my opinion. He'd have kept going, beating the boys to bloody pulps. It was stable-boys who had to end the fight, where were the guards? Cole was probably simping over alicunt tbh.

Also, Alicent was the first to demand Luke's eye in recompense for Aemond losing his soz not soz ya uwu Queen is a cunt heh

Aemond will then, years later, attack Luke because of this and kill him and start the Dance of Dragons in full because not only did he cause the events that took his eye, but also the worst war in history, all because he's a little bitch baby sociopath with genocidal tendencies lmfao

Also, Aemond got off lightly, merely losing his eye - do u know what the punishment is for people who attack a princes' daughters and the heir to the throne sons? Calling them bastards, which is treason!!!! Death. Bitch shit should be exuberant that he merely lost an eye. Unfortunately viserys is a bitch and didn't send Aemond to the Wall like Jaehaerys would have for fucking real lol

[kinnbig]

so, who is the most pathetic? big, vegas or kim?

obsessed with this question thank u anon i am going to have to approach this very scientifically and rate their patheticness levels with super incredibly objective patheticness points

Big -

pathetic:

in unrequited love with his boss +2

roasted by Kim for being in unrequited love with his boss +1

got demoted cause some random guy asked for his job +1

put in his place by Chan while trying to put the new guy in his place +1

not invited to the Hum Bar shenanigans +1

lectured on homophobia by a 'straight' guy (while gay) +1

fell off his motorbike and was real angy about it +1

"it's because of me. I couldn't help Khun Kinn" +2

looks like he's on the verge of tears 24/7 +1

sad little hair strand +1

literally died +5

not pathetic:

captain of the Tawan hate squad -2

mean girl swag -1

beat up that guy and was hot about it -1

picked up Porsche by his hair and was really hot about it -2

total: 11

Vegas -

pathetic:

psychosexually obsessed with his cousin +1

all the daddy issues +2

rejected by Porsche +1

tried to bring Porsche a rose but had to leave with it because his cousin woke up from his coma and pretended to be allergic +1

Tankhun smacked him with a tray that one time +1

kicked out of his own bathroom so his cousin could give the guy he was trying to seduce a handjob +3

Gun smacked that book out of his hand +1

got punched sooo many times +1

used his prisoner as a therapist +2

fell in love with said prisoner after one (1) free therapy session +1

the entire hedgehog saga +3

"shoot me!" +1

the entire failed coup +2

"here's how I win." ... *loses* +1

not pathetic:

cool motorbike -1

all the murder/torture -2

so so many cunty outfits -1

did actually get laid -1

ate ass on-screen -2

was probably fucking Ken (good for him) -1

was turned into swiss cheese and lived -1

total: 12

Kim -

pathetic:

actually has a murder board +1

said murder board is behind a giant photo of himself +1

conducts secret investigations instead of communicating with his brothers like a normal person +2

didn't even solve the mystery he was investigating +2

so incredibly emotionally unavailable +1

saw a kid with an entire wall full of his photographs and went "...I wonder if this guy really likes me? maybe I should make him write a love song to check" +1

is the cheek kiss girlie in the fuck nasty show +1

ghosted a child +3

emotionally defeated by a smiley face fried egg +1

on Chay's blocklist +1

led Chay on for an investigation, ghosted him, cried into his polaroids when Chay didn't take him back +2

tried to apologise to Chay by gifting him dead bodies and songs instead of using his words +1

not pathetic:

broke into a mafia boss' office -1

out mean girlied the mean girlie (was mean to Big) -1

is maybe a celebrity -1

the entire bar fight scene -3

total: 11

and there you have it! it's so very close, but Vegas is officially the most pathetic by one (1) patheticness point. i will not be taking constructive criticism at this time

more very scientific kinnporsche research

[voidsentprinces]

Shadowbringers took Emet-Selch from ARR Lahabrea levels of mustache twirling, Saturday Morning Cartoon villain. All monologue and evil laughter while his evil boobs malevolently boobed down the Post-Stormblood's darker breast boobily and changed him into an actual character. And the first Ascian who actually spent time with us in a more meaningful way. Flipping them from one note, evil that must be defeated. To one we came to understand and a group that connected to our character's literal past reincarnation that we do not recall.

Additionally, atmospherically, Shadowbringers brought us to Post-Apocalypse that wasn't 28 Days Later, Mad Max or Rapture-esque. While pulling from all those series. Its a world 100 years after the Apocalypse was averted but still causes the world to live in its shadow.

This expansion seems to be the beloved darling of the community. Even topping Heavensward in most regards. But, also, personally, I feel like Shadowbringers is only good Shadowbringers for the last three levels of it. And rest is just so much set dressing and putting together the A-Team. For lack of a better comparison, 70 - 79 is our Avengers Infinity War. We get the band back together, fight off the big bad and actually almost win. But then we lose and we lose HARD and we spend a handful of quests somewhat wandering aimlessly until we resolve to go after the one who took victory away from us. That lead up, to me, is alright but the story didn't really HIT, outside of my long winded story analysis reasons, until we reach Amaurot.

Even its Post-Patches seemed to struggle to figure out what to do. Having Elidibus bounce hither and thither without the Scions really trying to stop him because, "We don't know what he is up to." which was counterproductively frustrating to me. You are literally not stopping and banishing the villain so the plot can happen. Alisaie literally kept tabs on the Warriors of Darkness because we were focusing on dealing with Nidhogg. Why the hell couldn't they have kept tracked and harassed Elidibus at least? But no, the sky starts to shower stars and then it is go time. And while To the Edge and the Seat of Sacrifice are awesome. My suspense of disbelief that our Scions would just shrug and only off screen keep tags on lesser Ascians and then just be like, "I dunno fellas, this here Elidibus is tricky." strikes me as dense. Like, this is denser than a dead star. They let things happen for the sake of it happening.

Bottomline, there is some wiggle room here. Shadowbringers may be the community's darling. But I wonder if, its just because we remember the super highs of Amaurot to Seat of Sacrifice. And kind of brush things like; the Ran'jit fights, the Supernatural problem of Lucifer's Cousin's Roommate being the big bad in Lunar Primals, Thancred's treatment of Ryne and Speedrunning him some redemption in the Amh Araeng second half.

I'm rambling now, as a whole. Did you enjoy Shadowbringers? If not why? Vote your answer and leave your opinion in the tags if you'd like.

Note: I am aware that the Post-Patch production was stunted by the COVID Pandemic. Still, I'd like your opinion about anything you felt lacking. Even with that dead whale hanging over the entire thing.

[archive-of-the-lost]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞! — @tillichan

Backstory:

You grew up with your cousin Anri, who is only a few years older and therefore like an older sister to you. When blue lock was close to being established, you offered, almost insisted you join her as her assistant. She didn't think you would ever be part of her job, but she couldn't deny that she could use the help with managing such a big project with only Ego who won't even do his own laundry. It took some convincing for your parents to agree, as you were still in school, but since it was paid work, it didn't take long to sway their opinion in your favor. She still doesn't know your true reason for wanting to join the project. Did you really want to help her that much? Or is it the exclusive experience of being a part of blue lock, seeing the players and blue lock as a whole grow and go closer towards the dream of Japan winning the world cup?

Duties in Blue Lock:

Besides making sure the schedule prepared for each day is being adhered to, reminding Anri of any appointments and occasionally making Ego his yakisoba for breakfast, you're in charge with helping out in one of the most important aspect of the players' soccer career: food. Before the success of the U20 match, blue lock's budget was extremely tight. Ordering catered food for 300 people every day wasn't sustainable, especially when they're being served different things based on their individual performance, so there were days when Anri had to cook food for everyone. That's where you helped out the most. The steak that Nagi didn't finish, the gyoza that was stolen from Gagamaru, you cooked them. The blue lockers aren't thankful enough for your work honestly smh.

Ego colour - Pastel green

Parental figure: Marc Snuffy

Friendly and less flashy than some of his colleagues, it wasn't hard for him to quickly become the most approachable master striker to you. You'd also get along best with the Ubers team, who get along pretty well like one big family and don't cause trouble by fighting (ahem PXG) or being too loud (ahem FC Barcha). You would like Snuffy for the abundance of sympathy he has for others. He gave Lorenzo a chance to get out of poverty, and has probably helped many others in Ubers too, since they like him so much. The both of you are sensitive and loving people at heart. Being a tactician, he likes playing chess with you when you both have free time. He only plays it as a hobby, so he likely loses to you often.💀

Best friend: Gagamaru Gin

Hear me out. Your obvious love for animals and plants reminded me of Gagamaru (he's stated before that animal cruelty makes him sad and he would fight perpetrators). Blue lock is a drab place, metal walls and no windows, you just had to bring your plants along with you to the facility to keep yourself sane. Gagamaru, a nature lover, was also going insane from only having artificial grass to look at every day. When he heard about your plants in your room, he requested to see them. For morale. You had no reason to refuse, and your friendship with him started from there. His nonchalant attitude and reliable personality would be compatible with you, who values peace and comfort. He's also bad at technology, and likely doesn't know much about the internet. In this day and age, it's rare that you find someone who's just as uninterested in social media as you! He has trouble understanding people, so with your empathy and care for others, you could help him to learn to understand others.

Relationship with:

Chigiri Hyoma

At first you reminded him a bit of his older sister because you're usually fussing over everyone. Well yeah, it's your job to make sure they're in top condition, but you're also naturally kind. He was delighted to find that he has some things in common with you such as liking cats (black cats are his favourite animal) and taking care of your appearance (you and your skincare, him and his haircare). His ideal type is someone calm and understanding so it isn't long before he finds himself developing a small crush on you. Oops.

Mikage Reo

Reo isn't as friendly as he looks actually, he's only close with a few people. He doesn't interact with you much, but appreciates you and Anri working behind the scenes to make sure everything in blue lock runs as smoothly as possible. He also won't refuse you if you ask for his help with something like running an errand.

Nagi Seishiro

He can't understand why someone would invest this much time, effort and energy into taking care of others. You kind of remind him of Reo or Isagi in that way. Are you even interested in soccer? He doesn't pay much attention to others, always glued to his phone or complaining, but he salutes you for your hard work. Others are more grateful than him for how you take care of them all so. But he won't turn you away if you want to talk to him.

Hiori Yo

He genuinely wonders how you can put up with everyone in blue lock with so much patience. 💀 At one point, he thought your smile when dealing with Aiku's flirting was fake, but no, you were actually being nice and not secretly thinking of poisoning his food or something. He respects you a lot for that. Also started playfully calling you "Angel" once you started interacting with blue lockers more during the NEL when before they didn't see you much.

Isagi Yoichi

He's always nice and polite off the field so your first meeting with him went well. He even helps you when he sees you carrying heavy stuff during his free time. Based on his unfortunately short conversations with you because you're both busy, he can tell that you have good intuition and was delightfully surprised to find out you're a pro chess player. He would like to discuss soccer strategies more in depth with you in the future. But for now, talking to you while helping you carry some boxes to the office will do.

Your ideal match is...Yukimiya Kenyu!

The charming and friendly Yukimiya would be the best match for you! His type is someone who laughs a lot and will always watch over him, so it's inevitable that he eventually falls for the girl in blue lock who cooks everyone's meals and tends to any minor injuries that need treatment. You wish to keep the peace, which he also wants to do for the most part (that's why he volunteered to room with Rin after everyone couldn't come to an agreement). Also, your angel motif complements Yukimiya and his arc that involves religion/God.

♡ The first time he met you properly was before the U20 match. Before that, he only caught glimpses of you in the hallways or medical ward. You followed Anri and Ego around, and got to be introduced to the blue lock members whom you've been taking care of in secret for the past few months. All he could think of while watching you bow sheepishly at them was "her beauty is truly remarkable".

♡ More on your beauty because after matching you with Yukimiya, I'm convinced your physical features are his ideal type appearance wise. He really likes how you're so small, and like your friends, compares your hands more often than probably normal (he's trying to flirt). Your kind and patient personality, paired with your cute dimples that appear when you smile, gives him cuteness aggression that he has to repress every time he sees you.

♡ Your job requires you to interact with a lot of people, sometimes at once, which can be hard sometimes as an introvert. Yukimiya doesn't interfere much, but he tries to make sure the others don't talk over you when you have to speak to a group. He also makes sure to keep the more flirty guys (ahem Otoya) away from you.

♡ Yukimiya also likes animals, though not to the level that you do. Still, he understands how much you like them, and reacts well to you every time you show him pictures of your pets and gush about them. He's thinking of taking you to a cat cafe the next time blue lock has a break.

[al-stuffy]

Team 8 vs Team 8 (I wanna know who you think would win 👀 and why it's probably Shino lol)

And you are right! I think it would be Shino and here's why:

First of all, we must take into account what time we are talking about, whether in Naruto or in Shippuden.

Although I think that in both cases he is the winner there is a big difference and that is Hinata (I'm sorry Kiba, I love you but you are the weakest member of your team and one of the weakest of the Konoha12, but that's not your fault, everyone else is overpowered).

In the first part Hinata was strong, the reason why she looks weak is because she is surrounded by prodigies and she had to fight with her cousin the genius and she was a woman, so she never had her moment to shine in a fight (in fact, she is the strongest kunoichi of her generation).

I can't talk much about her in the second part because she didn't appear as much as other characters (just like the rest of her team) and I can't talk too much about her battle skills other than speculation because the only major fight she ever had was:

1.-When she was 12 years old and didn't even have a year of experience being a ninja

2.-The fight served to raise the problem of the Hyuuga clan and the family tension between Neji and Hinata.

3.-She fought against someone considered a genius who also had more experience than her (and she still resisted like a champion).

And his other important fight was against fucking Pain.

On the other hand there is Kiba, he is a strong opponent and I think he has good physical abilities in general (stamina, speed, strength, etc), his biggest problem is that he thinks without acting and is very hasty (at least in the first part). Another problem is his intelligence, he is not stupid but his teammates are more of the type to think before acting and that works in their favor.

And then there's Shino

I don't even know where to start with him.

I think his strongest point is his intelligence. He has already shown that he is a great strategist in battle and a difficult opponent to face because his specialty (unlike his teammates) is long range attacks.

In addition to the fact that he hasn't lost in any fight in which he appeared in the manga (there have only been 2... but they are still 2 more than his teammates so).

And can we talk about how in all his fights he barely moves? In his fight with Kankuro most of his moves were to dodge attacks and in the fourth ninja war he literally destroyed a 10 tails mini clone with a fist bump and I think that's awesome.

If it comes to just taijutsu:

I'm not sure who would win, if Kiba or Hinata, but Shino would totally lose no matter if it's in Naruto or Shippuden (or any other era). I think the one with the most resistance of the 2 would win (and although I'm not sure, my balance leans more towards Kiba in this regard).

If it comes to just ninjutsu:

This is a bit difficult, the ninjutsu of the 3 is very good. While Kiba specializes in brute force and direct attacks, Shino is more of lethal and precise indirect attacks that require good chakra control (come on, you're going to tell me that controlling thousands of bugs at once so they all do the same thing doesn't require precise chakra control?) and Hinata is a perfect combination of both styles.

Hinata could win if she landed a punch, but

1.-I think Kiba is faster than her so this would not be easy at all, so again, I think whoever has more resistance would win.

2.-I'm not sure if she could dodge Shino's bugs if he decided to cover her with them. (And you can say, what about Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven? But did she ever learn it?)

Regarding point 1, sooner or later Kiba will have to approach her if he wants to win and when that happens Hinata can easily beat him.

And as for Shino, he makes his bugs fight for him while he's hiding, which doesn't help much because of her byakugan and his sense of smell.

Still, I think that Shino would win.

He is a better strategist than the 2 of them and his insects are more versatile and cover a greater range.

But like I said before, if Hinata lands a punch she wins.

If it comes to just genjutsu:

... they even know genjutsu?

Uhh, I guess Hinata's byakugan can help her, and Shino's bugs can get him out of a genjutsu (but I'm not sure if this is canon or if I read it from someone else and is now my headcanon, so take it with a great of salt) and Kiba uhh, kudos for trying I guess.

Conclusion:

It all depends in who uses the best strategy and we already know that Shino is the best strategist of his team, so Shino wins.

But it won't be easy, because neither Hinata nor Kiba are someone to underestimate.

But why make them fight each other when you can make them fight someone else as a team and win in a badass way like this

Thank you for reading this far!

@mira--mira thanks for asking!

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Not So Secret Service”

Written by: Jake Goldman

Written & Storyboarded by: Kyle Neswald, Benjamin P. Carow

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Not so great service, more like.

According to Cartoon Network US's website, this is the first episode of Season 3. However, it aired in other countries as a Season 2 episode. The confusion only starts here, because there's also Aliver and Never Been Blissed, both of which aired as Season 2 episodes over here and will be Season 3 episodes everywhere else. I am going with the US order, because the show is made in the US, I'm in the US, and I already reviewed both Aliver and Never Been Blissed.

And now, the delayed first review of a Season 3 episode, and it already starts off with some excitement, as the Powerpuff Girls are beating each other up!

In a video game. The Powerpuff Girls are playing what is essentially a robot version of Mortal Kombat. The robots, under the command of a surprisingly bloodthristy Blossom and a not-so-surprisingly bloodthirsty Buttercup, continue to do Fatality moves on each other, the robots apparently reforming themselves after every one.

Buttercup: Prepare for the battle axe! (red one cuts the blue one open)

Blossom: Here comes the organ shredder! (blue one twin-saws the other one in half)

Bubbles: Send them home...in pieces! (red one turns into a bomb and blows up the whole screen)

The joke is that the Powerpuff Girls aren't normally like this.

The Professor decides to be the responsible adult, and tells the girls to stop playing the game because it's too violent for them. He then leaves, deciding that doing anything to prevent these kids from being desensitized, like looking at that little letter on the box that tells you not to give this to your kids, is just too much for him. Blossom is confused by this, but not in a way I would think.

Blossom: Why does the Professor not want us to play it? It's not like it's going to make us violent in real life!

Perish the thought: the video game might inspire the Powerpuff Girls to actually be violent in this reboot! I take that back, I hope they continue playing! As soon as the hotline rings, they learn that Discount Jojo is in the Mayor's office. Apparently all hyped up on those non-age-appropriate robot fighting games, they decide to start the carnage!

They break into the City Hall, and decide to punch first and ask questions later in a psychadelic slideshow beatdown. Before Buttercup can drop the Mayor's desk on him, the Mayor skateboards into the scene, totally not to save a few dollars on walk cycles, to tell Buttercup he called for the Powerpuff Girls to help Jojo.

Buttercup: Help him out of his misery? Okay!

Okay, that's a line from Samurai Jack, but what a missed opportunity. Instead, Buttercup gets to lament that she rarely gets to hit anyone with a desk. It turns out even the characters are sick and tired of the lack of actual fighting in the reboot.

The Mayor explains that, despite being a supervillain, he's still technically a citizen of Townsville, and is therefore eligible for the Townsville's People's Protection Program, or "T Triple-P" for short. Because he's cool with the cool kids, you see?

With an old-timey film, the Mayor explains how it works: if someone is in trouble, a superhero will come to protect him or her. Apparently, superheroes always existed in Townsville, because this is all in Townsville's Constitution, along with a law that states that only real cowboys can dress in a cowboy outfit. My first guess was those Discount Jojo Cowboy jokes from Deb O'Nair was so bad, they needed a constitutional amendment to prevent them from happening again...

...but it's just so Bubbles can decide that now is the time to put on a cowgirl outfit and act like a cowgirl for a decent chunk of the episode, complaining that everything she wants to do is illegal. It's a running gag that is completely forgotten halfway through the episode. It should have been forgotten when it came up, really.

What did Discount Jojo do to need this help?

We go to a flashback, where Discount Jojo has created the ultimate super-weapon: a robot made out of a cardboard box and two giant machine guns that fire lasers. See, that's the difference between TV-Y7-FV and TV-14; this robot can have big machine guns, but as long as it fires lasers instead of bullets, it's A-OK!

The robot learns who is Jojo's worst enemy, and it happens. The screen even shows a reference to the original Powerpuff Girls, the reboot assuming that anyone familiar with that show is still watching it. I wouldn't give that a high probability. The show decides that he needs some motivation to destroy the Powerpuff Girls, even though we didn't need one before. With this Box-Droid, he will win an Evil Award for Best Mad Scientist.

Without it, he will lose to a man we have never heard or even seen before this episode, will not show up after this scene, and we’ll probably never see again. I would tell you his name, but there's no point. He tries to throw something at this picture, and it bounces right back in his face, causing him to call himself his own worst enemy. The robot took it literally, and that's how this situation happened.

The Powerpuff Girls are, of course, not big fans of this. They answer every excuse for them to not take care of Discount Jojo.

They bring up that Discount Jojo admitted that he wanted to murder his would-be saviors, but the Mayor simply doesn't care.

The Powerpuff Girls can't stop the robot, because the robot is apparently a master of disguise, leading to another running gag where the robot dresses up like an ordinary person, rather poorly, and asks around where Discount Jojo is. It's an attempt, to say the least.

How are they going to get Jojo past the Professor? For some reason, they decided to consider that an issue. Well, it gets solved in a very expected way for our good old Sitcom Dad...

They dress him up as a cousin named Johann. The Professor buys it, because the plot wouldn't work otherwise. It's kind of a shame, really; it would have been somewhat interesting to see the Professor live with his former lab assistant, but...

(ding!)

Professor: Ooh, Peach Cobbler!

Said peach cobbler ends up taking him out of the entire episode. I guess they couldn't find anything else for the silly dad character to do. He doesn't even come back to resolve that all important "violent video games" plot; it just barely comes up again right at the end of the episode.

This appears to be the setup of a good episode, and in the original, it was. There was an episode called Child Fearing, where Mojo Jojo ends up being the Powerpuff Girls' babysitter.

This reboot takes it in a different direction, because Discount J, er, Johann is the one that going to be annoying to the girls. Johann decides to take every advantage he can. Stealing a meatloaf patty from Buttercup, and immediately spitting it out because he only wanted the flavor. I swear they stole that joke from somewhere.

He then decides he's tired, and decides to steal the Powerpuff Girls' bed...and Octi, too! He also screams in the middle of his sleep. This seems like something they just added to make him the most annoying person ever, but I could imagine he's dreaming about the times the Powerpuff Girls beat him up to a pulp. If only that was even implied.

The next morning, the Powerpuff Girls are exhausted. Johann makes them some of his famous pancakes! Buttercup wonders if they're poisoned, but she decides to try it anyway. In a surprising twist...

...it was so good, we needed stock footage to show how amazing it was. He also fixes up Octi and cleans the curtains he dirtied up from before, winning Bubbles and Blossom's respect. See kids, let that villain who wants to kil, er, destroy you in your house; sure, he'll dirty up the place, be an awful snorer, and will steal your meatloaf and/or toys, but he'll make good pancakes! What a great lesson.

After Johann shows his positive side, we immediately get a parody of sitcom openings. If it was done in a more superhero way, I can see how it could be clever, but it's just...it's the Powerpuff Girls and Discount Jojo, and there's a bear in one shot. Okay, there is one particular thing that reminds me of Discount Jojo's character: Johann puts on a princess costume! At least it’s not the only joke this time, but still, that’s a bad reminder of how his character used to be in this reboot.

It even ends with an exterior shot of the Powerpuff home with sitcom music, which is how they sometimes open real episodes of the reboot. This could have been the start of a huge parody of sitcoms if this was done near the beginning of the episode. Alas, they wasted all of that time on the useless Bubbles jokes.

Johann immediately decides to leave the room and run away from the house and protection program. The very thought of becoming friends of his worst enemies is sickening to him. Compared to Princess's near face-turn, turning into a friend because he makes good waffles would be a major step down.

He then encounters the robot, who, due to a visit to a library in his stints of trying to blend in with society, found out that "my own worst enemy" is just a figure of speech. After an evil genius-robot hug, Discount Jojo decides to finally destroy those Powerpuff Girls with this strong robot made of cardboard. Surprisingly, the Powerpuff Girls don't do their usual plan of just standing there waiting to get lasered, because there's less than a minute left!

The Powerpuff Girls immediately eye-laser it. In fact, this is one of the same moves done in the video game, in the only real book end that plot had. An aesop about violent video games would seem hypocritical in a show where superheroic girls beat the stuffing out of people; it's kind of funny how violent video games actually helped out in the end!

In response to this, Discount Jojo has two different expressions at the same time. Clearly, an artistic way to show the duality of Discount Jojo’s feelings of the situation...and the fact that the people who animate the show have stopped caring.

Amazingly enough, they then beat up Discount Jojo in another psychedelic slideshow beatdown. They even drop an entire desk on him, much to Buttercup's delight. That is one book end I do not mind. Too bad I had a lot to "mind" about this episode.

Does the title fit?

This is more Witness Protection Program than Secret Service. Also, it apparently is a secret, since they have to keep the Professor from knowing its Discount Jojo. Maybe it's "not-so" because it only seems to be an issue for about 25 seconds of the episode.

How does it stack up?

I could see why Cartoon Network US sat on this one. This episode can't decide what it wants to be. An anti-video game episode, a "silly monkey" episode, a "Jojo being terrible" episode, a "Jojo being good" episode, a sitcom parody, an action-packed episode, and, at best, any of those ideas are excuted poorly, and at worst, not at all. While this isn't the worst Discount Jojo episode, I just couldn't get into this.

Next, the Fashionistas are back!

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