#fiddleford being the greatest wingman to ever exist

[old-fandom]

Fiddleford and Stanford friendship where Fiddleford has been doomed to listen to Stanford talk about Stanley for decades, whether it be about breaking his project, the Stan O' War, their adventures as children in New Jersey, Stanford's guilt of being in love with Stanley, the rage and despair and betrayal he feels from Stanley, the horrendous self loathing of not being strong enough to keep his father from kicking Stanley out of the house, and one memorable night where Stanford got drunk and rambled about his pervy behavior toward Stanley when they were teens and "Fidds, you don't understand, he was the perfect amount of beefcake and sweet. I couldn't keep my eyes off him."

Flash Forward, Stan O' War II, Stanford and Fiddleford have reconnected and they talk weekly via computer to keep each other up to date with town business/new inventions/latest anomalies. But also, Stanley. So much Stanley. Half of their conversations trail off into Stanford talking about Stanley catching fish, Stanley making dinner, Stanley punching a kraken in the face, Stanley making so many bad dad jokes that it made him shoot soda out his nose, Stanley talking to the locals, Stanley understanding math and discussing equations together, Stanley haggling at the ports, Stanley Stanley Stanley. And so so so SO much pinning. God, the pinning just got worse.

Stanford talks about the way he laughs, the way he smiles, the way he sings, the way he get excited over everything, the way he knows how to land a joke, the way he cheers Stanford up after a bad night, the way he makes Stanford eat and sleep and bathe, the way he stretches, the way he still sleeps without a comforter on, the way he's become gentle with age, the way he's become rougher with age, the way his terrible flirting from their teens hasn't improved, the way that "Fidds, he's still a beefcake!"

And Fiddleford is so tired of it.

So he finally tells Stanford, "For the love of god, Stanford, I have been listening to you moan and sigh over that boy since we were sharing a dorm together. You've traveled the multiverse, beat a dream demon, and discovered more about our dimensions and others than anyone else alive, and you STILL haven't told your brother how you feel about him? Pick yourself up and go tell him!" and then logs off.

Fiddleford doesn't think much about it until a week later for their weekly video call when Stanford pops in sporting many new hickeys around his freshly exposed neck. Stanford isn't wearing his turtleneck because Stanley wanted to travel into warmer weather for their honeymoon.