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bl--ankhaeji · 1 year ago

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THIS THAT SHIT RIGHT HERR

Sucks to be Him

Summary: You were trying to have a fun night with your friends when a handsome stranger introduced himself as your mate. The problem? You have a boyfriend.

Pairing: Werewolf! Haechan x Witch! Female reader

Warnings: smut, reader is slightly older, no actual cheating

“I must be the luckiest motherfucker on Earth.”

Confused, you looked to your right to see a man with beautiful tan skin and boyish soft features leaning against the wall next to you. His smile was mischievous but his eyes held such a gentle spark that you felt jealous of whoever that look was directed towards. You looked then to your left, trying to find who he was talking to, only to see a few guys vomiting and a girl drunk calling her ex.

You frown and look back to your right, where he is still staring right at you, this time eyeing you up and down while biting his lower lip softly.

“Excuse me?,” you asked, giving him an unamused glare.

“Fuck, even your voice is pretty,” he chuckled as he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

“...Are you high?”

“It sure feels like it,” he sighed dreamily.

“...OK. Bye,” you awkwardly said, willing yourself to go back into the noisy club, but before you could walk past the handsome stranger, he grabbed your arm and pulled you roughly against his body. You gasped as your free hand landed on his firm chest where his heart beat so hard and fast it almost felt like you were holding it in your palm.

“What’s the hurry, pretty?,” he asked, bringing your hand which he still hadn’t let go of to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

You never let men treat you like this. Especially strangers. You would have beaten the shit out of him already, screamed or run if you weren’t feeling brave. But this time your body wouldn’t move, and it wasn’t because of fear. Being held by him felt good. You felt protected, wanted, adored, like you belonged with him and not with your boyfriend.

Right.

Your boyfriend.

While you were clubbing with friends, you had to go out and look for a quiet place to call him, but he didn’t pick up.

You should be with him now.

Not with whoever this guy was.

Gathering all the strength you could and ignoring the sharp pain in your chest, you pushed him away with shaky hands. He looked more hurt than angry. His eyes glossed like he was about to cry at the abrupt rejection.

“I-...I have a b-boyfriend,” you stuttered as you clumsily took your phone and tried calling him again.

The man seemed even more hurt at your words, his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed, mouth hanging open in disbelief. He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing while listening to the neverending call waiting beep.

When you finally gave up and hung up with a heavy sigh, he spoke again.

“He’s not picking up?” he asked, his eyes still closed as he rested his head on the wall. You ignored his question and quickly typed a message instead. “What a shitty boyfriend. I will never do that to you,” he continued matter of factly, like he was predicting the future instead of speaking hypothetically.

“He t-texted me,” you lied. “We’re gonna meet now.”

“Well, sucks to be him.”

“What?”

“I said it sucks to be him,” he said, opening his eyes slowly, “because you’ll have to break up with him.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. The audacity.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Why would I break up with him?” you spitted, finally looking at him, ready to give him a piece of your mind, when you saw his eyes and froze.

They kept changing between golden and red.

Fuck.

A werewolf.

You recalled everything you learned about werewolves back in school. You never thought you would cross paths with one, since there were so few of them.

You knew they weren’t naturally aggressive, but when their eyes turned red things could get messy. It was dangerous. You should be scared.

But you weren’t.

If anything you were weirdly attracted to and curious about this stranger.

“Because you’re my mate.The Moon chose you for me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Yes, you do. You feel it too, don’t you?”

“...No,” you lied. But you knew he could see right through you. Your legs were visibly shaking, your face was hot and probably as red as his eyes, your heart was beating like crazy and there was a funny feeling expanding in your chest. You felt so warm it was becoming harder to think coherently.

You had heard about werewolves having human mates, but you??

No way. No matter how attractive he was, you didn’t know this man. Hell he even looked younger than you. No. You had a boyfriend and you had always been a loyal girlfriend. That wouldn’t change because “The Moon” decided against it.

“No?”he asked almost mockingly and took slow steps towards you.

“No!” you repeated firmly and without a second thought you took a tiny satin sack from your purse and threw the content at him. Shiny golden dust landed on his face and he stumbled back shaking his head, fuddled. His body slid down the wall until he was laying on the floor, and his eyes fought the sleeping dust, trying not to lose sight of you. But not even a werewolf was immune to magic and soon he fell asleep.

You went home as fast as you could and texted your friends, letting them know you were too tired to party. You texted your boyfriend again, but he hadn’t even read your previous text.

You thought about the werewolf alone outside of that shady club and it broke your heart. You wanted to go back and check if he was okay, if his hair was as soft as it looked, if his body was always that warm, if his lips-

Enough!

Next week you were going to celebrate your anniversary with your boyfriend, he would probably propose, you would say yes and you would live happily ever after. You wouldn’t see thatwerewolf ever again.

The morning of your anniversary you woke up with a killer headache and the usual text from your boyfriend apologizing for not picking up your calls.

Seojun: Sorry, babe. I was busy.

Seojun: I’ll call you later, okay? love you

Y/N: It’s fine! Sorry for bothering you. I love you too! See you tonight

You added as many heart emojis as you could and sent the message, staring at the screen for a few minutes in case he replied.He didn’t. He was a busy man, after all. You would have plenty of time to talk over dinner.

You drank a sparkling painkiller potion and took a long shower before getting ready for work, which thankfully wasn’t far: you had to go down the stairs of your cozy apartment and open your shop. You sold crystals, herbs, oils, and a few objects that were probably cursed. But the main attraction of the store was divination. Tons of people came everyday to ask about their future, their love compatibility and ways to make a fortune. Some of them were drunk groups of friends who got curious after seeing the shop on their way back home after partying. So the shop was strategically located near the hottest area.

You had 3 clients who had made an appointment with you today and one walk-in customer who ended up buying clear quartz and black tourmaline for protection after the crystal ball showed a friend backstabbing them.

You were about to close the store when your boyfriend called.

“Hello?” you picked up with a cheerful voice in spite of your tired body and the headache that refused to fade away.

“Hey y/n, how is work?”

“It was good!” you started when you heard the little bell on the door ring, indicating that someone had entered the store. “Sorry! we’re closing early today,” you told the customer without looking away from your purse where you were trying to find the keys to the store.You continued talking to Seojun, “ I’ll close the store now and go to the restaurant.”

“Oh nice, you’re closing early. Where are you going?” your boyfriend asked obliviously.

You stopped blindly searching for the key and sighed heavily, closing your eyes as the heachache only got worse.

“What do you mean where? Don’t you know what day is today?”

Silence came from the other side of the line. The only voice you heard belonged to the customer who for some reason still hadn’t left the store and was having a drunk discussion (more like a monologue) about destiny with somebody else. Probably a friend who was too drunk to even reply.

“Did you forget our anniversary?!” you asked. More to confirm than anything else. The answer was clear.

“Y/n… you know I’ve been busy,” he started.

“I’m just saying,” the customer insisted on their philosophical conversation, “I presented before you and I still haven’t found my mate. How come you-”

“I SAID WE’RE CLOSED!” you snapped, finally turning to see the insistent customer. There stood the werewolf you met last week, next to another guy about his age who looked terrified at your sudden outburst. Both stared at you wide eyed.

“Y/n, babe…I really don’t have the time today. I’ll make it up to yo-,”Seojun tried reasoning with you but you weren’t listening anymore.

“Seojun…I’ll call you later,” you mumbled and hung up the phone.

An awkward silence took over the store as all three of you stared at each other.

“Sorry, we uh… we’re gonna uh- go, yeah…” the scared man with feline features whispered as he pulled the other man’s hoodie to move him towards the door.

“It’s her,” the tan skinned werewolf said firmly.

“Huh?”

“She’s my mate, Mark. The one I met last week.”

“The one who knocked you out with sleeping dust?”

“Yep.”

“Woah…dude! And you found her again in no more than a week? You really are The Moon’s favorite,” Mark said excitedly.

“What are you doing here?” you cut into the conversation rudely. “I told you I have a boyfriend.”

“The one who just forgot your anniversary?” your supposed mate raised an eyebrow exceptically.

“Damn, what a shitty boyfriend,” said Mark.

“That’s none of your business. Just get out!” you exclaimed.

“But…my friend here wants to ask about his future,” said the werewolf.

“As I said before,” you said completely out of patience. “We’re closing early.”

“Why? It’s not like you have plans anymore. Pretty sure your … ‘boyfriend’ just canceled,” he challenged, the word boyfriend coming out as a growl.

“Haechan, shut up! You’re so insensitive,” Mark slapped the man’s arm and turned to speak to you. “I’m so sorry about that. I’ve just…been feeling kinda hopeless lately and I could really use some guidance,” he whispered and looked at his feet, playing with the hem of his sweater.

Damn your sweet nature. How could you say no when he looked like a kicked puppy.

“This way,” you finally sighed and guided the two men into a room with a small round table covered with a long red cloth and three chairs. Statues of deities from different religions decorated the room along with beautiful crystals that reflected the dim light of the candles illuminating the room. On the table, a crystal ball, runes, tarot cards and some other divination methods awaited to be of use.

“My name is Donghyuck. You can call me Haechan,” the tan skinned man suddenly said as soon as the three of you sat down.

“I didn’t ask,” you replied dryly.

“What’s your name?” he asked, ignoring your mean statement.

You didn’t want him to know. You were already worried that he knew where you worked, so you decided to talk to Mark only.

“How about we do some candle wax reading?” you asked gently. Haechan scoffed.

“Sure, uh… w-whatever you want,” Mark replied nervously, looking at the statue he could swear had moved.

“If you don’t give me a name, I'll call you ‘love’ instead,” Haechan interrupted, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “How about ‘angel’? ‘Princess’? ‘Pretty’? You seemed to like that one-”

“Y/n,” you finally said, your cheeks turning red. “My name is y/n.”

“Y/n…” he repeated like he was savoring your name, looking into your eyes.

You caught the whimper right before it left your throat and focused on Mark only, who was shifting awkwardly on the chair.

You could tell how pure Mark was by how easy it was to chanell and see his future. The candle wax floated in the bowl of water making incredibly vivid figures that let you know all you needed to. He was close to meeting his mate alright. You warned him that this person would have quite a strong character and he could get hurt, but he was so excited about having a mate that he didn’t care about the rest. You smiled at how his eyes shined when he curiously looked at the wax and told him every other detail you could see. You were quite proud of yourself for managing to concentrate when you could feel Haechan’s piercing eyes on you the entire time, and exhalled relieved when you finally led the two visitors to the door.

“Y/n,” Haechan called your name before leaving. “I’ll drop by tomorrow.”

“Don’t-” you started but he had already left running with Mark who was euphoric at the discovery that he had someone special waiting for him. That, and the alcohol in his body. You were left alone in the dark store, the only noise being the little bell on the door still ringing after the two men closed it.

You looked for your phone in your purse to find 4 missed calls from your boyfriend and a long text apologizing. Again. You would normally feel sad, but this time you felt nothing.

When you went downstairs to open the shop the next morning, Haechan was already standing outside. As soon as you opened the door you were met with his boyish smile as he offered one of the coffee’s he was holding and made his way into the store.

“Haechan…” you sighed, “you can’t be here.”

“Don’t be silly y/n. You’ll need as much help as you can starting today.”

“...Why?” you asked suspiciously.

“Mark was so happy with your work, he told absolutely everyone about how good you are. And he has a lot of friends. Everyone loves Mark,” he said pointing behind him to show you a large line of people waiting to enter.

You gasped.

“Ok, wow…uh… look, I appreciate your help, but I can handle it myself. We really shouldn’t see each other any-” you stopped mid sentence when he gently pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. His hand then rested on your cheek and his thumb caressed your lips, parting them. This time you couldn’t stop the faint whimper that he surely heard as he responded with a soft groan.

Just then you heard the bell and pushed him away nervously, facing your first customer of the day

“H-hi! How can I help you?” you asked with your best customer service smile.

“Hey, I have this necklace I inherited from my grandma,” the woman said showing you a beautiful necklace with a ruby pendant. “But when I wear it-”

“It’s cursed,” Haechan said, stepping forward and carefully grabbing the relic with his fingertips and placing it on the counter, where he turned on the lamp and pulled the magnifier glass out of the drawer like it was his shop. “14K gold over silver. Truly a beauty…Ah, here it is,” he said as he pointed at a tiny symbol carved at the back of the ruby.

Both you and the customer stared at him dumbfounded.

He then walked towards the customer and asked if he could see the back of her neck. Without questioning it, she quickly tied her hair up in a messy ponytail and Haechan stood behind her, looking for something. You stood next to him curiously.

“Found it,” he murmured and pointed at the same symbol he had seen in the necklace engraved faintly on her neck. “Luckily it’s not serious yet. We’ll just have to purify the necklace and the problem will be solved.”

“How long will that take?” the customer asked hopefully.

“I would say…about two weeks?” he answered, looking at you for confirmation.

“Uh-yeah, two weeks should be enough,” you replied.

Your first client of the day left satisfied and there were many more to come. Some were looking for a tarot card reading, some needed to buy specific herbs and some had more problems with cursed objects, which Haechan handled perfectly. You didn’t even notice when the day was over.

“How do you know all that stuff?” you asked while balancing the cash drawer.

“Me? Oh uh…my major is demonology and I specialize in cursed objects, so you could say I’m in my element. Did you know one of your statues moves? I’ll have to take a look at that later,” he rambled.

“Shouldn’t you be in class then?”

“Not really. It’s my last semester so I’m just working on my thesis now. I have plenty of time to work here.”

“Haechan…I- it’s not gonna happen.”

“What’s not gonna happen?” he asked stubbornly.

“You and me. I told you so many times: I have a boyfriend and I won’t cheat on him-”

“I can wait.”

“I- ugh I’m surely older than you, Haechan, I already graduated a couple of years ago, it won’t work-”

“Ah…that? I guess I should call you noona then.”

“That’s not the point, I- why are you smiling? Is this funny to you?”

“It’s just… you keep giving me reasons why you can’t, but you’ve never said you don’t want to.” he replied, caging you against the counter, one hand placed on each side of you.

“I h-have a boy-”

“I don’t give a fuck about your boyfriend, y/n,” he growled, his face coming closer to yours until you were barely cemtimeters away. “Noona…”

Your phone rang just in time. You scurried away and picked up. It was Seojun.

“H-hi!” you asked as cheerfully as you could even though your voice crackled.

“Y/n, you didn’t answer my texts. I was so worried,” Seojun sighed and he did indeed sound worried.

“Oh…yeah I had a lot of work today,” you answer, looking at Haechan who was biting his lip and staring at the floor, frustrated.

“Oh, that’s good! I mean, that your business is doing well-...I,” he cleared his throat. “I am really sorry about yesterday, y/n.”

“...It’s okay,” you replied and winced when Haechan snapped his eyes toward you annoyed, as if clearly saying ‘No, it’s not okay.’

“Let me make it up to you, hm? I’m outside your store now.”

“Now?!” you asked just when you heard the bell again. You were face to face with Seojun, smiling at you gently.

“Hi, babe! I finished work early today so I thought we could-Oh, sorry you have a customer,” he said when he saw Haechan.

“I’m not a customer,” Haechan replied, jaw tight. “I work here.”

“Oh…she never mentioned you,” he said awkwardly and chuckled, offering to shake hands with Haechan. “I’m Seojun, her boyfriend.”

“Donghyuck,” Haechan replied, stopping himself from saying ‘her destined mate’, shaking his hand, his grip a little bit too strong to be friendly.

You felt petrified, your hands were suddenly cold and you held your breath. When was the last time you had seen Seojun? three weeks ago? More? You could hardly recognize the man you were supposed to be in love with. And what’s worse, you had almost let another man kiss you. And now they were both shaking hands. You were the worst.

All these thoughts running in your head were so overwhelming you couldn’t stop a tear rolling down your cheek, and then another one, until you were sobbing uncontrollably.

Both men looked at you, surprised. Haechan was the first one to move, wanting nothing else than to hold you but Seojun cleared his throat, gaining his attention. Haechan glared at him, but knew better than to start a fight when you were crying. Instead, he moved away, letting your actual boyfriend be the one who comforted you.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Seojun asked, caressing your head. Haechan grimaced at the nickname and you only cried harder. “I know, I know. I’ve missed you too. You seem to be very tired, so I’ll cancel the reservation and we can just stay in today, okay? Let’s order something and I’ll stay with you all night, I promise,” he was talking to you, but he stole a glance towards Donghyuck, his instincts already telling him he should be careful. “You can go, Donghyuck. I’ll take care of my girlfriend.”

Haechan didn’t move for a few seconds, his wolf saying he shouldn’t leave his mate crying in some other man’s arms. But he finally said goodbye and left the store, telling himself he needed to be patient.

When you heard the door bell you cried harder, a part of you not wanting Haechan to go. But you pushed that thought away, hugging your boyfriend and repeating in your head that if you worked harder you could make this relationship work. Your boyfriend waited patiently for you to stop crying, helped you close the store, order your favorite food and cuddled you.

“Y/n… tell me what’s on your mind,” he begged when you were both lying in bed.

“Nothing,” you replied, “I’m just tired.”

He stared at you for what felt like a whole minute and then leaned in, kissing you hesitantly. You kissed him back and he deepened the kiss happily. It had been so long since you last kissed. The room became heated soon and you were lying under him, his hands pushing your shirt up slowly, exposing your belly.

“You’re quiet today,” he panted, kissing your neck.

“I’m just tired,” you repeated, but you were not sure that was the reason. To be honest, you weren’t turned on. You didn’t feel anything at all.

“Yeah? Let me do all the work then, m’kay?” he said, slipping his hand into your pants. He then stopped moving and pulled away from you. “Y/n…you’re not wet.”

You looked away, embarrassed.Fuck.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He stared at you without knowing what to do. This had never happened before.

“How about I suck you off?” you offered, unbuckling his belt.

“Y/n,” he called, not sure if you should keep going, but all his concerns were replaced with a deep moan when you licked at the tip of his hard member.

You felt like the worst girlfriend in the world but you could at least do this for him. You tried to satisfy him as much as possible that night, feeling accomplished whenever he moaned and arched his back, but not once did you feel aroused.

When you woke up the next morning, Seojun wasn’t there. He had left for work and left a note on your night table, repeating how sorry he was for not spending enough time with you.

You didn’t have breakfast that day, instead went straight to work and found Haechan waiting for you. He looked like he didn’t sleep all night, dark circles under reddened eyes and a worried expression, which quickly turned into relief when he saw you. He quickly approached you but stopped midway, wrinkling his nose and looking away. You knew how sensitive werewolve’s noses were. He could probably smell Seojun all over you. ‘Good’, you thought. That will help him move on faster.

You didn’t tell him not to come to the store again. You thought he would stop now that he saw your boyfriend, but you were wrong. He kept showing up every morning for the next month, working hard, bringing you coffee, and telling jokes like nothing had happened. However, he refused to accept his paycheck.

“What do you want then?”

“You,” he simply replied.

“It’s not gonna happen,” you replied, rolling your eyes and he chuckled. He knew you weren’t indifferent to him.

There were still lingering touches, intense stares and some comments that were far from platonic, but he wasn’t coming at you as strongly as before. He was happy to earn your trust slowly, knowing he had the rest of his life to spend with you. No matter how stubborn you were, you couldn’t fight the pull forever.

He did get annoyed whenever Seojun dropped by the store. Seojun was never particularly happy to see him either.

“Hello, Donghyuck,” he greeted uncomfortably, just like whenever he saw him. “You’re still here this late?”

“I would stay longer if she let me,” he replied.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re trying to steal her away from me,” he joked, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Haechan simply smirked mischievously and walked towards the door.

“See you around, Seojun.”

You were trying hard to save your relationship, but he was always busy, he barely replied to your texts even though he said he would change and sex with him was getting more awkward. It just felt wrong.

Tonight was no different. No matter how many positions you tried, you just couldn’t get off. You could tell Seojun was getting tired and frustrated too.

“Is there…somebody else?” he asked.

“What?! No,” you replied, offended.

“Is it Donghyuck?” he insisted.

“I-,” you mumbled. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

“But he likes you,” he stated.

“It’s more complicated than that…”

“...Explain.”

“He…is a werewolf.”

He raised his eyebrows and his eyes almost popped out of his skull as everything started making sense.

“Fuck… h-he…imprinted on you?”

“...Yeah.”

“...And you couldn’t tell me sooner?” he spitted angrily.

“I rejected him. There was nothing to say.”

“I-,” he sighed. “I don’t know if I can do this y/n…”

“Nothing happened between us!”

“He won’t stop y/n! He can’t stop! He’s an animal!”

“He is NOT an animal!”

“I bet you like that. Some immature guy who can’t control himself with you,” he scoffed. “And you just play around with him while I work my ass off for us-”

“What?! You don’t work for us! you work for yourself. You didn’t think about us during our anniversary, you didn’t think about us when I asked you to move in together, when I asked to spend your vacation together, when I wanted to introduce you to my parents-”

“Thank God I didn’t meet them! I knew we wouldn’t last long anyways-”

You slapped him as hard as your shaking hands allowed you. He glared at you but said nothing, quickly getting dressed and grabbing his stuff. He felt guilty but refused to be the first one to say sorry. You on the other hand, couldn’t even cry. You were tired of always waiting for a man who never had time for you and now had the audacity of accusing you of cheating.

You accompanied him to the door of the store in silence. It was morning already so, of course, Haechan was there.

“Seojun,” he greeted.

“Donghyuck,” he replied with the same lack of enthusiasm.

“Noona, they just delivered these. I think your friends sent it,” Haechan told you, giving you a couple of gifts and a bouquet of flowers. “I didn’t know it was your birthday! Happy birthday!”

Seojun looked at the gifts, then at you and closed his eyes, sighing full of regret. Of course he forgot about that too.

“Don’t worry, Haechan. You’re not the only one who didn’t know,” you said bitterly. “Come in.”

“Y/n,” Seojun started but you didn’t let him finish this time.

“We should break up, Seojun.”

Haechan stopped walking and looked at you, wide eyed. His eyes met Seojun’s and then he bit a victorious smirk, which your now ex-boyfriend didn’t fail to notice.

“No,” Seojun said. “Let’s talk-”

“We were talking just now. I heard you loud and clear. I don’t think there’s anything left to say.”

You closed the door and walked in, leaving Seojun outside too stunned to speak until he eventually left. You asked Haechan to look after the store while you went to take a shower and then started your day like nothing happened. You could tell Haechan wanted to ask, but you were so busy the entire day you barely had any time alone.

It was dark outside when you were closing the store and he finally spoke.

“So…”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Haechan,” you cut him off.

“I know it’s just…Happy birthday,” he said shyly. You turned around and saw him holding a small cake with candles illuminating his beautiful face.

“I..wow Haechan,” you smiled genuinely for the first time that day. “When did you have the time to get that?”

“Lunch break,” he replied. “I didn’t have enough time to get you a gift though. I should have known sooner-”

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“Thank you, Haechan,” You said, looking at the cake dreamily.

Haechan could feel his heart about to burst. He smiled proudly.

“You’re welcome. Make a wish.”

You closed your eyes and did as he told you, then blew the candles while he cheered for you. It was a small celebration, but you hadn’t felt so happy in a long time.

“Drink with me, Haechan?” you asked him. He nodded quickly and offered to go buy any drink you wanted.

And that’s how you found yourself sitting on the counter, drinking a beer with your supposed mate. Laughing at embarrassing stories of when he was a child.

“What did you wish for, noona?,” he asked suddenly.

“It’s a secret.”

“But I want to knooow,” he pouted.

“Why do you want to know?” you laughed.

“To make it come true.”

You looked at him. His sincere eyes were waiting for an answer just so he could make the impossible possible. All for you.

“I wished…”

“Yeah?” he breathed out.

“For a hug,” you blurted out. Truth be told, you didn’t make a wish. You couldn’t think of any at the moment. But you could really use a hug tright now.

He gulped, situating himself in between your legs, you still sitting on the counter. “I can do that. May I?”

You nodded and he didn’t waste more time. He pressed your bodies together and held you tightly, his heart beating against yours as he straight out moaned at the feeling. You stayed like that for a minute, both of your breathings getting heavier.

“Noona,” he broke the silence.

“Hmm?”

“Remember when I told you I could wait?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Fuck that,” he groaned and crashed his lips against yours. You kissed him back hungrily and he sighed dreamily, unconsciously humping against your center, rolling your skirt all the way up. You moaned against his mouth and he chuckled.

“You like that? Hm?”

“Yeah…”

“Me too, angel,” he whispered and cupped your breasts over your shirt, massaging gently. “You’re so soft, so perfect.”

You whined and reached for the hem of his sweatpants, slipping your hand past his boxers and grabbing him firmly.

“Ah! Ohh…fuck, fuck,” he moaned, taking your panties off and touching you shamelessly. You almost screamed when he collected your wetness and used it to draw gentle circles on your clit.

“Haechan- ah! Haechan oh my god.”

He licked your neck slowly and gave it little sucks that would soon become hickeys if you didn’t stop him.

“W-wait! No m-ah…Ah! No marks!”

“Why the fuck not?” he growled, bearing his teeth against your neck.

Just then a faint beep from your phone caught both of your attention. The screen of your phone on the counter next to you lighted up to show an incoming message.

Seojun: y/n, I got you a birthday gift-

You couldn’t finish reading it before Haechan grabbed it and turned it off, slamming it back on the counter.

“Because of him?” he asked, irritated.

“It’s just…it’s been only one day. It would be disrespectful…oh!” you moaned as he slid his cock against your pussy lips and rubbed your clit just right.

“Is there an official grieving time or some shit? He's not your boyfriend right now,” he asked, holding your legs open for better access and hissing, his cock twitching. You couldn’t answer, your eyes trained on where your bodies connected.

“How can it be disrespectful when you were mine from the start?” he asked hotly.

“I…I wasn’t-”

“You were. You’ve always.been.mine!” He stressed every word with a hard thrust, constantly stimulating your bundle of nerves. “He should be thankful I even let him anywhere near you.”

You were a sobbing mess, shaking under him as his hips sped up.

“Did he ever make you this wet,noona? hmm? Did he even make you cum?”

“N-no ah…oh my god- he didn’t, I just c-couldn’t,”

“Of course you couldn’t” he chuckled, grabbing his dick and using it to slap your clit harshly, making you arch your back and your eyes roll back. “Since the moment we met, your body would only want me. All these times you told me we couldn’t be together? I knew it was all bullshit. You are mine.”

You knew he was right even if you didn’t want to admit it. You wanted him since the beginning.

“Let me mark you,” he hissed, his heavy breathing indicating he was as close as you.

“Ah…n-not- Oh! not y-yet please, pleaseplease oh!” he rubbed the head of his cock against your clit fast from side to side. “Haechan, Haecha-AH! ah!ah! OH MY GOD HAECHAN!”

Your body trembled as you came trying to close your legs only for your tights to be slapped open roughly by Haechan. He lifted your shirt and bra all the way up to your neck and jerked himself off furiously, aiming his load toward your stomach and breasts.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckfuck!” he gasped loudly staring at your face intently while releasing on you.

When he finished he pressed his hands against your stomach and spread his cum all over you.

“W-what are you doing?” you weakly asked.

“If I can’t mark you then you’ll at least smell like me,” he growled.

“Fuck.” you sighed at the view of his cum covered hands massaging your breasts. He kissed your lips softly.

“Happy birthday.”

The next week was weird. Haechan kept working at the store, only now he would be more bold with his touches and kiss you unapologetically whenever you were alone. You didn’t push him away. It just felt right with him.

Except when you read the nonstop messages from your ex. You couldn’t help but feel guilty even though that relationship had been dead months before all this happened. You answered one of his messages, agreeing to meet him and hear what he had to say. You thought it would be awkward if Haechan was around so you told him to leave early, arguing you had plans. He left, not before throwing a suspicious look at you.

You heard the bell when you were in the divination room and yelled at the newcomer to come in, assuming it was Seojun.

“What happened to your plans?” Haechan asked standing in front of you.

“H-haechan! What are you doing here?”

“Weren’t you going out with friends? Why are you still here?”

You didn’t speak.

“Noona… you can tell me anything. Don’t lie to me, please”

You sighed.

“Seojun is coming over,” you admitted.

You saw his jaw tightened but he didn’t speak.

“He wants me to listen to him one last time.”

He nodded and sat down in front of you on the divination table. “I’ll stay.”

“Haechan, no-”

“Yes,” he replied, his eyes turning red momentarily.

“He won’t feel comfortable-”

“What about what I feel? My mate meeting her ex alone at night makes me very fucking uncomfortable.”

“I…stop calling me that.”

“What? My mate? You are my mate.”

“I haven’t agreed t-to that…” you mumbled.

He stared at you in silence for a few seconds, analyzing your face looking for a sign that you were joking before speaking again

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“I’m just…not sure…you really like me that much. You’re still young-”

“I don’t just like you, y/n. I am in love with you. Imprinted for life. I’m very fucking sure.”

Truth be told you’d had few relationships in your life. All of them ended badly: they left you for somebody else, they didn’t take you seriously, they didn’t have time for you. How did you know this wasn’t just a sick joke? Haechan could easily be lying to you just to get laid.

It was like Haechan could read your mind.

“You still don’t believe me,” he hissed.

“I’m sorry…”

“Ask your tarot cards then.”

“I can’t see my own future…”

“See mine.”

“R-right now?”

“When is Seojun coming?”

“In about 20 minutes.”

“We have time then. Just a simple reading,” he said leaning back into the chair, manspreading comfortably to let you know he wasn’t going anywhere until you read for him. “Go on.”

“Uh okay,” you started shuffling the cards. “We don’t have much time so you may ask three questions and we’ll take one card to answer each. First question?”

“What am I to you?” he shot without hesitation.

“I thought this was about you. Not me,” you stopped shuffling and glared at him.

“This is about me. You’re in my life now. Now give me a card.”

Hesitantly you shuffled the cards until one fell on the table facing upwards.

The Sun.

You blushed like crazy. Of course it would be the sun. It was like your cards were making fun of you. You looked up and saw him smirk smuggly.

“I trust you know the meaning of the cards by now, so I don’t need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t mind hearing it from you,” he teased.

“No. Next question.”

“What are you to me?”

You glared at him again but decided to finish the reading before Seojun arrived instead of arguing. Not even two seconds after another card jump out of your hands and on the table.

The Star.

You looked at Haechan who was smiling gently this time.

“Still don’t believe me?”

“...What’s your last question?”

“What’s our future together?”

“Haechan…”

“Come on. I want you to see it yourself.”

You shuffled the cards nervously until the last card fell, facing the table. You lifted the corner of the card so only you could see it and quickly tried to put it back into the deck, but Haechan quickly grabbed your hand and stood up, walking around the table until he was standing in front of you

“Show me the card,” he commanded, still holding your hand.

You refused, struggling to get away which only ended with both of you falling on the floor, cards flying all around you as his body hovered over you, grabbing both of your wrists with one hand so he could take the card from you.

The Lovers.

He laughed and threw the card away carelessly, intertwining his fingers with yours and pressing his forehead against yours.

“Stop it,” he said softly. “Stop fighting it, y/n. It’s real. I love you and you love me”

You sighed and nodded, leaning in to kiss him when you heard the bell for the second time tonight.

“Y/n? Are you here?” Seojun’s voice asked from the store entrance.

“Fuck! Haechan you have to hide,” you begged. He rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he said, getting under the divination table, covering himself completely with the coth over it.

You quickly picked up the cards and sat down on the table, right when Seojun entered.

“Y/n! You’re working so late,” he said.

“Ah, I was just finishing a reading,” you said.

“Did I interrupt you?”

“No, not at a-ah!” you gasped when you felt Haechan’s hands caress your legs all the way up to your naked thighs, covering them with the cloth. Bad day to wear a skirt.

“What? What’s wrong?” Seojun asked.

“Nothing, it’s just…m-my headaches. You know how i-it is,” you answered trying to press your legs together, but Haechan wouldn’t allow it.

“Right uh…May I sit down?” “I would rather you didn’t,” you accidentally replied out of panic. The last thing you needed was him noticing Donghyuck under the table. “I mean, I’m sure you won’t have much time anyways. What was it you wanted to say?”

“I…I got you a birthday gift,” he said, placing a small box on the table. “I wanted to give it to you sooner, but you didn’t answer my texts…”

“You never replied to mine when we were together, Seojun.”

“I know, I…I’m sorry. We… are we really done? Can’t we work it out?” he asked sadly.

At this, Haechan growled lowly against your inner thigh, licking and nipping possessively.

You gasped, which your ex mistakenly took as a good sign, looking at you hopefully.

“We were together for so long y/n,” he continued. “Let’s not let a kid ruin it.”

Haechan, who had been kissing his way up to your center, gave you a long lick over your panties making you whine and cover your face with your hands.

“W-ah! what are you talking a-about?” you asked, trying to keep your cool when Haechan found your clit and sucked it into his mouth roughly over the thin layer of fabric.

“We were just fine before that…wolf showed up, y/n,” he said approaching the table to grab the tiny box and open it, revealing a ring with a huge diamond on it. “What do you think? Let’s forget about all this and get marrie-”

“Oh my god, ohmygod ah!” you sobbed, Haechan pressing his head harder against you, desperate to taste more, holding your thighs around his head. “You c-can’t just- oh… fuck, this is… Things were bad before H-Haech-ah!”

“Y/n, what are you talking about? We were great.”

“You n-never had t-time for me-ah! You forg-ot my…birthday, our anniver-” you sobbed into your hands, tears of pleasure falling down your cheeks. Thankfully Seojun assumed you were just very emotional.

“I said I was sorry,” he repeated the words you’d heard so many times before.

“I- for…give y-you,” you regretted saying those words as soon as you felt teeth grazing your clit threateningly. “B-but we ah! are n-not getting back… t-together.”

Seojun just stood there, in silence. There was nothing else he could possibly say to change your mind.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated again.

You nodded without looking at him, your face still hiding behind your hands. Being sorry wouldn’t change anything. You didn’t look up until you heard the bell again, telling you Seojun had left.

You finally let out a loud moan and lifted the cloth, and the sight of Haechan contently eating you out made you come immediately, your thighs shaking around him and your fingers pulling his hair, him groaning appreciatively.

“Good girl,” he murmured against your core, between licks. “You did so well. So, so good.”

Sensitive, you tried to push his head away, which he responded to with a snarl that sounded almost too animalistic to be coming from him.

“H-Haechan?”

“More,” was his only answer before he stood up and manhandled you onto the table, dropping the box with the ring off the table in the process and ripping your panties with his bare hands, diving back in.

You screamed so loud, you were sure your neighbors would be scared.

“FUCK! HAECHAN!”

You pulled at his hair and he moaned against you, the vibrations giving you more pleasure that you could handle.

“Oh, please, too- too m-much,” you mumbled, followed by a mantra of his name, which only fueled him more.

He pressed his tongue flat against your clit and shook his head from side to side, making you come undone for him. You laid limp on the table trying to recover from what was probably the best orgasm you had ever had in your life when you felt him licking and biting your stomach.

“H-haechan n-no, no m-marking,” you weakly whispered trying to push his head away from your belly but he growled, literally bearing his teeth at you. That’s when you finally noticed the deep crimson shine of his eyes and the thin layer of sweat covering his face.

“Is t-this… are you in…?” You didn’t even know how to finish that question. You vaguely remember reading about heats and ruts, but nothing really prepared you to experience one.

“Mate,” he said like he was possessed. He lifted your body like you weighed nothing and carried you on his shoulder up the stairs. “ Need to mate you.”

He opened a couple of doors until he found your room and threw you on the bed. You would never admit it, but you were incredibly turned on by this new side of him. He took his shirt off carelessly and climbed on top of you, staring you down like you were his prey. You felt like a prey too, not being able to do anything but gasp when he tore your shirt and bra the same way he did to your panties earlier, leaving you on just your skirt.

“Fuck, I liked that shirt…ah!” you moaned while he sucked on your nipples.

“I’ll buy you more,” he replied like it was nothing. “Buy you anything you want.”

“H-how are you gonna do that?” you laughed. “You don’t even accept your payche-fuck ah!”

“Don’t need it,” he mumbled against your breast, his right hand fingering you slowly while his left hand played with your other breast. “Have savings. Could buy the entire store if I wanted.”

You could only groan at the feeling of his hands all over your body.

“Hyuck, p-please… need to-need to feel you,” you begged.

“Feel me?”

“Inside, inside please!”

He grunted and pulled away from you, finally taking his pants and boxers off, and pumping himself a couple of times before aligning himself with your entrance.

“W-wait!” you said and before he could growl at you you quickly grabbed a condom from your drawer and handed it to him. He stared at it confused, and a bit offended.

“That’s not my size,” he said. You rolled your eyes, thinking he was being arrogant and opened it so you could put it on him yourself. But you stopped yourself when you paid proper attention to his size. Your mouth hung open in disbelief, staring up at him. He smirked as he held his cock with his hand, thick and heavy.

Stubbornly you tried to put the condom on him. He hissed when you pressed it against his tip and started rolling it down with difficulty. The mission failed not even half way through, the condom split all the way to the tip, revealing the angry purple cock due to lack of circulation.

“Guess I’m bigger than him,” he teased, tossing the broken condom into the floor and jerking himself off slowly. “I’m clean, I promise.”

You nodded, spreading your legs and letting him enter you slowly. You winced when the head pushed into you, stretching you so good you got dizzy.

“Besides,” he added, pushing more of himself into you. “The whole point of this is to breed you.”

Your eyes snapped open.

“H-Haechan!”

“Mm?” he hummed, followed with a moan when he finally pushed all of him inside of you.

“Oh! y-you…you can’t be serious,” your nervous laugh was cut off by a deep thrust that had you gasping for air.

“Can’t help it,” he moaned. “Wanna give you my pups.”

“F-fuck…” you whimpered, giving into the pleasure as he pulled all the way out and thrusted harshly into you again.

“You’re so g-oh! so good, y/n,” he moaned, increasing the pace of his thrusts, trapping you in the bed with his body, his pelvis chafing your clit insistently. “Gonna…gonna fill you up-ah!”

“Oh yeah! yeah p-please-ah! ah…Ah! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck,” you begged incoherently.

“Y/n, y/n, y/n,” he could only repeat, pistoning into you like an animal, mouthing your neck needily. “Need to…need to m-mark you ugh!” was the last thing he said before he sank his fangs into your skin.

If it hurt, it was only for a second, as an incredible pleasure consumed your entire body, making your eyes roll all the way back into your skull and cum with a silent scream.

“G-good girl,” Haechan huffed against your ear, never stopping his movements. “Again, a-again!”

You hadn’t even come down from your high and he was forcing you into another one, the stimulation almost painful. You clumsily tried to push his hips to a stop, the feeling becoming too much for your human body, but it did nothing but provoke him to go harder.

You were a sobbing mess by now, you were moaning and screaming nonsense that sounded like his name, when your body finally convulsed and your squirted so hard he had to pull out.

“Fuck!” he hissed, reaching for your clit with his hand and rubbing it furiously. “Fuck! That’s it, give it to me!”

You were literally crying. It was all so good, you couldn’t even process it, and he kept giving you more and more. Finally you fell limp into the bed, bedsheets wet under you, panting under Haechan’s intense stare.

“...Again,” you heard his voice say, deeper than you’d ever heard him.

You weakly shook your head and tried to crawl away from him. He chuckled darkly, grabbing both of your ankles and manhandling you into your belly. He didn’t even bother going slow this time, slamming into you hard and setting a fast pace since the beginning.

“My mate is s-so cute,” he moaned, giving a particularly hard thrust. “Running away when I haven’t even knotted you once. So…so cute.”

You desperately grabbed the sheets under you, feeling so good you were screaming until your throat was sore and you started drooling into the pillow.

“Ah…Ah shit,” he hissed, now covering your body with his, not allowing a single move from you as his knot started expanding. “Y/n, y/n,y/n,y/n,y/n…ooohhh.”

His hips hammered into you animalistically until he pushed his knot into you, now he could only grind against you and give short thrusts until it stopped growing.

“T-too m-much…”you babbled, your body too spent to try to resist.

“You c-can take it, noona,” he panted licking at the mark on your neck. “My pretty y/n, my angel, y-you can take…all of me, can’t you? hmm? Of course you c-Aaah! fuuuckkkk… o-of course you c-can…made for me…you’re m-made for m-ooohh!” he barely mumbled, jaw hung open, the tip of his tongue sticking out his bottom lip because of the overwhelming pleasure while spurts of cum spilled inside of you until you felt you were going to explode. And just when you thought you couldn’t take anything else, his hand found its way to your clit and massaged it fast and uncoordinated, until another wave of pleasure took over you, your mind going blank.

“So lucky…I’m so blessed… The Moon gifted you to me,”was the last thing you heard before everything was silent and you drifted out of consciousness.

When you woke up, you were lying on your side, Haechan’s arms around you and his mouth kissing your shoulder gently. You tried to turn around but a sharp pain stopped you, pulling a loud hiss from Haechan too.

“Don’t move yet, angel. Not while I’m still knotting you,” he pouted and caressed your stomach.

“Right…sorry,” you said and lied down in silence again until Haechan spoke again.

“Y/n…”

“Hmm?”

“What is that?” he asked, pointing at a little box of medication on your night table.

“Ah…those? Birth control pills.”

His body tensed against you. The movement of his hand on your belly stilling.

“You take those?!” he sounded betrayed.

“You didn’t think I would actually let you get me pregnant, right?” you laughed.

“...But I want it,” he whispered into your ear, making you shiver.

“That’s just your wolf instinct speaking right now.”

“I don’t care. Want it.”

“Well, it won’t happen. I’m protected,” you chuckled and got into a comfortable position to sleep again.

“...Y/n?” you heard after a few minutes.

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t pills like… 99% effective only?”

You bursted out laughing this time. “Only? 99% only? You surely don’t think you are that special 1%?”

You would have laughed more but Haechan gave you a hard unexpected thrust now that his knott was getting smaller, making you gasp and hold into his arms for support.

“Wanna find out?” he asked.

#FiCrEbLoG

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bl--ankhaeji · 2 years ago

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WHY IS MARK SO FINE LATELY

GOLDEN HOUR (M)

PAIRING | mean dom!mark x reader ft. hyuck (briefly)

SYNOPSIS | the kitchen isn't for cooking, didn't you know?

WC | 1.8k

WARNINGS | oral fem receiving, cocky!mark, jealous!mark, some golden hour inspired dialogue, kitchen sex (a bit)

A.N | i haven't posted anything in a while but after the concert (and the release of his song) i needed to write about him <3 send feedback, and enjoy

the kitchen counter digs into the skin of your back but you don't even notice. all your thoughts are directed to the lips suckling your clit. hands push at your legs, grabbing and pulling the soft flesh apart so he can taste more of you.

"m-mark, fuck. thats- that's good, just like that."

from on his knees, your boyfriend looks up at you, tongue still swirling around your clit. he hums something sweet and the vibrations send you into a frenzy.

clutching the back of his head, you thread your fingers in his long, black hair and tug him closer. he can't go anywhere so really you just end up rocking your hips into his jaw.

he doesn't mind because fuck, you taste so good. so fucking good, and it's all his - you're all his. no one else can have you. not even that boy haechan. the one who's always trying to hang out with you. the one that's currently on his way over to you and marks shared apartment.

the food you were cooking for the three of you is left on the stove, all but forgotten thanks to your boyfriend.

you didn't even have time to greet him when he opened the front door. he immediately made a beeline for you after dropping his bags on the kitchen table.

sweet lips attached themselves to your neck, dark bruises blooming in their wake. his hands were urgent, needy - desperately pulling at the large sweater covering your frame from his greedy eyes.

"let me taste you." he had asked, dropping to his knees and pressing his fingers to your panties.

you had dropped the spoon back into the pot of spaghetti sauce, "right here?"

his eyes never left yours, not even when he hooked his fingers into the waistband and began to pull the lace down your thighs, "right here."

now you were all but clambering up on top of the marble countertops, trying to squirm away from your boyfriends prodding tongue.

"stop moving." he mumbles, fingers pressing bruises into your hips to keep you in place. "unless you want me to stop."

"n-no don't stop. mark, if you stop i swear to god i'll-"

he pinches the inside of your thigh which makes you yelp in surprise, "you'll what baby?"

sitting back on his heels, he moves his hand to replace his tongue and draws small, agonizing circles with him thumb over your folds - just barely brushing your clit.

"if i stop eating this pretty pussy, i'm just gonna bend you over and fuck you on the counter."

two fingers dip into you, and involuntarily you clench around them.

"you'd like that huh?"

the question has a deep blush rushing up your spine, and you nod your head slowly - too focused on the way his breath is slowly ghosting over the skin of your belly now that he's leaned forward.

his fingers continue to pump in and out of you, and all the sensations were leaving you with a euphoric head high.

"yeah i bet you would baby." sharp teeth nip at the skin below your navel. "but what about your little friend that's coming over?"

your fingers dig into the marble so hard you're afraid you'll break it. "who? h-hyuck?"

"yeah-" he spits, "hyuck."

his fingers move faster now, building the tension that was lingering in your belly. again, his tongue darts out to lick at your exposed clit - though unsatisfied with the angle, mark grabs one of your legs and slings it over his shoulder.

now you were supporting your weight with one leg on the ground and both your hands gripping the countertops. despite the fear of falling, the action has you whimpering for your boyfriend.

"what would he say if we fucked on the very table he's about to eat on?" you can't even focus on his words, too caught up in the sensation of being split open on his thick fingers.

his hair is matted on his forehead when you look down at him. "why would we -"

mark pulls back, "it can be our little secret baby. he doesn't have to know - or maybe he does."

"mark-" you whine, wanting his lips back between your legs.

"cum for me first and then we'll talk about it." rhythmically, his fingers drive into you. "or i'll talk - i don't know, your mouth might be full." a satisfied hum leaves his lips when your head tilts back in ecstasy, "my turn first though."

and then he's back to suckling on the sensitive bundle of nerves. tongue swirling and licking and lapping at the arousal that leaks onto his hand and down his wrist.

you were so wet for him - so fucking perfect. and he ate it up like a starved man.

soon enough the incessant lapping of marks tongue, and his taunting words - "this sweet pussy is all mine yeah?" "don't want me to stop? fucking cum on my fingers then." has your body locking and doing just what he wants you to.

you ride out your high by grinding against his face, and he took it all. he loved watching you enjoy yourself. it meant he was doing his job right.

"felt good?" he murmurs as he gets up off the wooden floor.

you nod dizzily and fall into his embrace once both your feet were on the floor. who knew he could make you this weak?

"aw baby, don't tell me your done yet! we're just getting started." he frowns, circling his arms around your waist and pulling you flush again his body. something pokes at your stomach.

" i think you got a bit of a problem." you point out.

he smirks, lips attaching themselves to yours, before pulling back, "a really big problem." your eyes lock, his still clouded with lust, "you can help me solve it if you bend over the counter like we talked about."

"but babyy" you drawl, "hyucks gonna be here any minute."

mark grits his teeth and pokes the inside of his cheek before fluidly spinning you around and pressing your hips into the counter opposite of the one you were up on earlier. the bulge in his pants presses against the swell of your ass and somehow you end up arching back into him.

"i really don't give a fuck about that guy." the growl rips from his throat so low you almost miss it. "and you shouldn't even be thinking about him." he sighs almost comically, "i guess i didn't eat this pretty pussy good enough."

his fingers dip between your legs again to swirl around your swollen, overly sensitive clit.

"yes- you did." you whimper, legs shaking.

"then why is another man in your head, hm?"

mark didn't show his jealous side much, but when he did, you knew the next day you weren't walking anywhere. just from the snip in his voice, you knew tomorrow was going to be one of those days.

the sound of fumbling can heard from behind you and soon enough the blunt head of marks 'problem' is pressing up between your folds.

'maybe i should fuck the thought of him away - you think that would fix it?"

one of his hands snakes up your spine and grabs the back of your neck. out of the corner of your eye, you watch his bicep flex when he pushes you down flat against the cool marble. your nipples are stiff peaks against the glossed rock and it makes you shiver.

mark knocks your knees apart and pushes his cock into you; slowly at first. he needed you to feel the stretch - feel how big he really was - feel how hard you made him.

pfft. and you were thinking about another man.

"you think he can make you feel like this?" helplessly, you let mark rock his hips into you. erratic moans pour from your parted lips, "oh i know baby, i know it feels good. just take it okay? i know you can pretty girl. take it just like you did when i was devouring this pretty pussy." the lewd words dripping off his lips like honey leaves you spasming around him and scrambling on your tip toes. "ah, you liked that huh?" you go to shake your head but he tsks at you, "don't deny it now baby, your body gave you away."

"mark, f-faster please. i need you to go -"

"faster, i know baby. i'll fuck you real good in just a second. wanna get adjusted first."

from over his shoulder mark takes note of the time.

seven twenty eight.

"say, what time was your little friend supposed to show up?"

you can barely register his words, but through a dreamy, cloudy voice, you whimper out, "seven thirty."

like a string of fate, a knock sounds at the door. both you and mark jolt and look towards the white wood.

"punctual. of course he's punctual." mark seethes. "what do you say we give him a show? let him see just how much you truly care about him when i'm the one fucking you."

the idea is appealing, so appealing in fact that your body betrays you again. a gush of arousal floods around marks cock, making his shallow thrusts slippery.

"why are you being so-"

"because he can't have you. and i can't have him thinking he can."

another knock sounds and your phone laying just out of arms reach lights up with a text message from haechan.

"and you know what baby?" the question is saturated with a cockiness you've never heard from mark before.

you whimper, his hand snaking between your legs and flicking your puffy clit. "what?"

"i didn't lock the door." you gasp when he pinches the bundle of nerves, "so i think i'll just invite our little guest in, yeah?"

"yeah?" you breathe, dazed and fucked out and pliant.

"yeah." he solidifies it and reaches for the hem of his shirt. ripping it over his head, he flexes his biceps - some form of male competition forcing him to show off his girl and his muscles.

"okay baby, get ready to put on a show."

you nod, choosing to focus on the driving force between your legs instead of his words that ring out into the apartment air.

"It's unlocked! you can come in!"

tentatively, the handle turns and pushes open. a young man mark can only assume is haechan steps through the threshold. his doe eyes go wide when he takes in the scene before him.

"nice to meet you. i'm mark, the boyfriend. dinner might need to be postponed a bit."

a/n | did you like it? if you did, consider leaving me a like, a reblog, a review, or some feedback in my askbox :)

#FiCrEbLoG #I’m late Ik but hot damn #is it selfish to want part 2 where hyuck joins

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bl--ankhaeji · 1 year ago

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The way ion even mess with enhyphen like this and she got me invested in ts 😒

Smile For The Camera Masterlist

Pairing: Camboy!Jake X Camgirl!Reader

Genre: Smut, Strangers to Lovers

Synopsis: HybeStreams' top ranked (and your favorite) streamer j_streams takes an interest in your quaint account and comes to you with a proposal for a collab. Do you accept?

Please leave an ask to be added to the taglist

Main Masterlist / Apple Music Playlist / Spotify Playlist

Extras:

Profiles / Hybestreams Website

Chapters:

Teaser / Part 1 (2.1k)

Teaser / Part 2 (4k)

Part 3 (Coming Soon)

Part 4 (Writing in Progress)

#tresbaes #FiCrEbLoG #you know you dirty bitch

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the-family-business67-reblogs · 7 months ago

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Love this 💜

Imagine...Dean and You Getting Hurt On A Hunt

Pairing: Dean x reader

Keep reading

#dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural #ficreblog

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bl--ankhaeji · 2 years ago

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WRESTLER BAKUGO?!? HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN SUCH A CONCEPT

Hey guys.. so interesting factoid about me; I like to watch wrestling. I mean, tune in every week, watch the PPV’s, buy the merch type of fan.

Soo, let’s talk about Pro Wrestler!Bakugo

At first, he had no interest in it, he wanted a more rugged sport like football, but after his mother saw one too many players get CTE, she immediately pulled him from the sport.

He was angry at first because dammit, he’s not like those other extras on the field! But alas, to save himself an earful, he quit the sport as a two-time Super Bowl champion.

But he needed something else to let his aggression out. Something heavy-hitting.

That’s when he found pro wrestling.

At first, he was shit, he can admit that. He didn’t know how to run the ropes, he wasn’t with the high-flying shit and making people tap out didn’t satisfy his needs. That’s when he found his real fighting style.

Brawler.

He likes to beat people up. He likes pummeling his opponents into bloody heaps until they’re too far gone to even stand. And he especially likes the shiny belt that gets thrown over his shoulder after every title defense.

But nothing, nothing, compares to the cute, chunky commentator that sits at ringside.

He thinks you’re absolutely adorable, the way you try to shit on his matches and promos, and he knows it’s hard! He’s incredibly charismatic and he has the chops to back it up.

He corners you one day before a show, “Hey, Chubs. You got a problem with me or something?” He presses you. You’re a bit caught off guard and he uses that to back you up against a wall. “Cat got your tongue? Funny how you always seem to have something to say out there but when it’s just us…” You cut him off, pressing a firm, manicured finger into his chest. “Listen, asshole. I actually do have a problem with you. I think you’re full of shit. You walk around like you own the place, when the only reason you got your spot in the company is by kissing the boss’s ass. So yeah, I’ve got a fucking problem with you.” You storm off, muttering incoherently under your breath and fuck, Bakugo doesn’t think he’s ever been harder than he was right then.

The following week you’re the one cornering him in the hallway. “What the fuck is this?” You angrily shove the papers in his face. Bakugo smirks at the papers, “I see you got the news.” “No shit I got the news, what the fuck are you trying to do?” You press. Bakugo stands, towering over you. “Easy, Princess. All I told them was that I’d want to work with you more. I didn’t think they’d put us together. But then again, why wouldn’t they want to keep their top guy happy?” He’s smug, the bastard. And you want more than anything to wipe that smirk off his face.

“Fine then.” You grab his hand and lead him to his personal locker room. “If we’re gonna do this, I want it to look real.” The smirk drops from his face as you toss the door open. He follows behind you and locks the door when you instruct him to. Since when did you start telling him what to do?

By the time he turns back around, you’ve already made yourself comfortable on the large sofa. You removed your jeans and panties, tossing the lacy garment his way. “I want you to eat me out, Champ.” Fuck, you’ve got him hooked already.

He makes his way over to you, getting on his knees to breathe in your delicious scent. His mouth is practically watering as he sucks hickies onto your thighs, eager to finally dig in to what he’s been denied so long. You thread your fingers through his ash blonde hair, slightly tugging. “Hurry, ‘Suki.” You whine. He wants to hear you beg more, but he knows he’ll get the opportunity to later on.

He dives right in, lapping up your juices before sucking your clit into his mouth. You gasp at the feeling, bucking your hips up against his face. He’s messy, he spits on your cunt before lapping it right back up along with your juices. “Fuck, ‘Suki. S’good. Please.” You cry out. “Please what, Princess? Gotta tell me what you want.” He mumbles into your cunt. “Fingers. Please. Want your fingers, baby.” As much as he wants to deny, the pet name does something to him, he can’t help but comply.

He coats two fingers in your essence before slowly pressing the middle one inside, curling the finger in search of that special spot. You whine at the feeling, cunt clenching around him. “Gotta open up, baby. Gotta let me stretch you out for my cock.” He coos at you, his voice a striking contrast to how he sounds when he addresses the masses. It’s then that you come to the revelation that he only addresses you like that. He’s never loud, never aggressive when he’s with you. You don’t know why, but it has your cunt dripping that he’s only like that with you.

He slides in another finger, working you closer to your orgasm, and when he finally puts that heavenly mouth back to work, you feel your cunt spasming, core clenching as your orgasm washes over you. He milks it for all your worth and keeps going, and before long you feel another orgasm rush through you, though this one feels more different than the first.

“‘Suki, wait! I’m gonna-” “Cum, cum for me again, baby. Want you to soak my face.” You cry out as you cum for the second time that night, squirting all over Katsuki’s face. You grind your cunt against him, his nose bumping your sensitive nub. He lets you ride it out, before finally pulling away, your juices dripping from his chin. He licks his lips before pressing a fiery kiss to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself.

You hum at the taste, but you’re eager for the real star of the show. You pull at his belt, signaling that you want his clothes off, and who is he to deny you? He takes off his pants, but unlike you, he keeps his shirt on seeing as the show was going to start soon. His cock bobs up against his abdomen and the tip is a pretty shade of pink, with a few veins along the sides. Of course he has a pretty dick.

He runs his cock along your cunt, bumping the tip against your clit a few times before slowly pressing inside. He sets a steady pace, checking to make sure you're okay before increasing his speed. Before long, the room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and fuck, you’re a sight. Your face is flushed, with pretty tears streaming down your face, he can’t help but want a taste, tongue licking your tears before pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips, sucking your tongue into his mouth. He’s close, so fucking close, but he needs you to cum for him again.

“Cum f’me, baby. Cum for your champion.” And you do, your cunt clenched around his cock as you cum for a third time. You’re spent, but you want to feel him cum, want to feel him inside you during the show. You squeeze your cunt around him, eager to coax his orgasm from him. “Cum f’me, ‘Suki. Cum f’me, baby.” You know what the name does to him. Something so simple, yet so domestic just gets him ready to spill inside you. And he does, after a few more thrusts he’s cumming, the feeling of his seed filling you feeling so good, so warm.

You both stay connected for a moment, before you start to giggle. Bakugo’s head perks up at that, before joining you with a slight chuckle. “How long do you think before they realize we’ve been dating?” You ask, a dopey smile on your face. Katsuki kisses your cheek before answering, “I’d say a few weeks. You know I can’t keep my hands off you for too long. And now that I get to love on you in front of everybody, fuck yeah I’m gonna rub their noses in it.” You chuckle before pushing him off of you. “Alright, get me a towel. Show’s about to start.” “Yeah, you’ve got like 10 minutes.” “‘Suki!”

— —

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @sintiva @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @haikyutiehoe @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon

#FiCrEbLoG #tres-baes #kats would most definitely be an amazing pro wrestler tho #he’d be the one people hate or love no in between #bro I love the hate each other in front of everyone but date each other in secret trope #shit smacks every time

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bl--ankhaeji · 2 years ago

Text

This is so hot istg

cool off; ldh

🖱️⤻ pairing; afab!reader x haechan 🖱️⤻ word count; 4.6k 🖱️⤻ genre; smut & fluff 🖱️⤻ synopsis; haechan lets you in on a practice room secret that leads to a new hang out buddy during practice 🖱️⤻ warnings; unprotected sex (this is getting ridiculous), oral play (hyuck receiving), piv, doggy style, dirty talk, pet name (angel), public sex(?), switch!ish, soft but fun

⌨️⤻ How’s this for a meet cute lol. This is not accurate because Haechan oozes confidence. Most of my works aren’t accurate tho bc I don’t know them so it’s alright.

"See you guys at the dorm." Johnny tacked on just before exiting the practice room. Mark and Haechan don't answer, just collapse to the floor. Their chests heave in unison as they lie under the vent. All the sweat that was bothersome ten minutes ago was now welcome as it chilled under the cool air. Being comfortable with each other, they felt no need to voice any of their thoughts or fill the air with conversation, Haechan and Mark just sat quietly and enjoyed their moment of rest. It was easy to forget where they were this way.

After what felt like hours of lying under the vent, they jump as they hear the door click open. Expecting a member that forgot something made for a lot of confusion when you peek your head through the door. You gasp, eyes blowing wide before you pull your head back and close the door. Mark and Haechan stare at the closed door as you and a choreographer go back and forth.

"What's the matter? Go back in there." The manager chuckles.

"There are two members of NCT in there!" You whisper the name like it's some forbidden word.

"It's fine! I'm pretty sure they're on their way out. Just go in there with them!"

"Are you crazy?!"

Haechan had never seen your face before. No regular trainees were allowed in this practice room. Only debuted idols, groups preparing for debut, and special trainees. Any of those were possible, but what if...

"You think that's her?" Haechan rolls his head toward Mark with raised eyebrows.

"What? No way." Mark continues to stare at the door, hiding his disbelieving look from Haechan. "Well..." He lifts his shoulders, quirking one of his brows, "I guess it could be. But what are the odds? We were just talking about her and now she's here."

"Good odds, I'd say." Haechan mumbles, lifting his body slightly to peer over Mark at the door.

Some of the boys thought you were a pain. Technically, you weren't a proper trainee. Just someone the CEO really wants to be one, so he's giving you the full star treatment. Letting you practice here, use their studio to produce songs (hopefully more for their artists), and even let you around the artists themselves. None of them have ever seen you, for reasons that are now apparent, but the fact that the company was allowing this was unbelievable. Some may even say unfair. Haechan just thinks you've proved your talent enough to open doors. How could he not admire that?

"How many amazing producers have we had? None of them have gotten this treatment." Said Johnny a few days prior. "She's probably just pretty." He brushes off.

He was wrong. You weren't pretty. If you were truly who Haechan thought you were, you were absolutely breathtaking. Haechan swallows hard.

--🖱️▷

"Good job!"

You groan loudly, completely blocking out the choreographer's praise as you flop to the floor. "It's hot!"

"Well!" She claps her hands together before continuing. "We'll practice again tomorrow. And by that I mean we're practicing together tomorrow. Don't you dare stop practicing on your own." She scolds and you groan again.

This is what was expected of you. You wanted to be a soloist for the sake of your irrational fear of all your members hating you. It's just a little easier on your social anxiety this way you told yourself. Now you have to work twice as hard. All eyes are on you. Was all this worth it? Should you just go back to being behind the scenes? You did enjoy singing and dancing. Being an idol was something you dreamed of since you were a little girl. But perhaps you were being a little unrealistic. Maybe you're just not cut out for this...

Why is it so hot?

You stand up from the ground, sweat was starting to collect on your back. Plus, the heat was accumulating from lying there. You wander around the room, in search of relief before you continue practicing.

As if the heavens themselves open up above your head, a cool gust of air hits your body and you all but faint. "That feels so nice." You breathe, sweat trickling down your neck. Your body goes rigid as the door creaks open.

From across the room, you stare at Haechan like a deer caught in headlights. He chuckles to himself before he makes his way toward you, noting the way your limbs draw together like you're trying to physically shrink into yourself. Haechan plants himself right in front of you. You try to look at his face but you're so flustered it's almost debilitating. Did you do something wrong? Were he and his members not actually done as your choreographer suggested? Was he about to chew you out?

Haechan huffs, resting his hands on his hips before looking at the ceiling. The corner of his mouth twitches. He inhales slightly, tilting his head back down before fixing his eyes on your anxious face.

"You know, it actually feels better if you lay down."

You finally build the courage to look up at him. Once you do, you find it hard to look away. The way his face melts into a warm smile makes your heart do flips. Your tongue darts out to wet your increasingly dry lips. "R-really?"

Haechan's smile grows. "Yeah." He chuckles. "When you stand up, it only hits your head and shoulders, maybe your arms a little bit. When you lay down, it hits everything, and it's easier to relax."

You nod, but it's hard to focus on anything else but every muscle that moves on your body. You're just wondering if this celebrity noticed how hard you just gulped in front of him.

"Try it." Haechan takes a step back, gesturing toward the wooden floor. You blink up at him before whispering a small 'oh'. You awkwardly settle onto the floor, feeling utterly embarrassed as Haechan watches you lie on the floor. As soon as your back hits it, you gasp. The crisp air hits the entire front half of your body. It's almost too cold as it cools every drop of sweat exposed to it.

"See?" Haechan raises his eyebrows and you nod again.

"Thank you for showing me this." You say quietly, eyes moving everywhere but on him. You clear your throat.

"Is something wrong?"

"No... it's just... this is kinda weird." You gesture up at him from the floor.

"Ah!"

You watch in awe as Haechan lowers himself to the floor as well, lying right next to you. You can't possibly ignore how close your hands are to touching. "Is this better?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure if it is." You say bluntly, turning your head to look at him. Bad idea. He has these round puppy dog eyes. The kind that could melt ice cream with their intense warmth. You would verbally swoon if you were out of your mind.

"What, is there something on my face?" Haechan instinctively wipes the corners of his mouth. Just then you get a bright idea. Nothing breaks you out of that ‘this is painfully awkward please end this interaction immediately’ phase faster than some lighthearted joking.

"Mhm," you nod before pointing at his forehead. "right... here."

"Really?!" He stands up and hobbles toward the huge wall of mirrors you forgot about. You see, he was supposed to ask you to guide him to the spot and after a few seconds of misdirection you'd go 'just kidding!' and laughter would hopefully ensue.

What were you supposed to do now?! Now he was behind you and it'd be awkward to turn around and say 'just kidding!' from the floor, should you get up-

"Where? I don't see anything?"

You plant your palm firmly on your face.

"Wait... did you trick me?" Haechan laughs loudly in disbelief as he walks back over to tower over your body.

"Yeah." You say after you've had your fill of facepalming.

"Ha!" He laughs again before kneeling beside you. "Are you embarrassed?" He narrows his eyes at you.

"Yeah." You repeat before snorting.

"Okay." Haechan crosses his legs before pursing his lips. "I'm a little insulted that you just successfully embarrassed me without even being confident in your own prank." He nods slowly, clearing his throat awkwardly. You giggle, covering your mouth.

"I'm sorry." You squeak, closing your eyes.

"No, it's okay." He draws out the 'no', clearly not sincere in his consolation. "Just a little pathetic." He gestures with his fingers to illustrate how little. You gawk at him in disbelief.

"Huh?"

"I mean, my little cousin can pull off that prank perfectly. He's seven." Haechan rests his hand on your shoulder to further his faux consolation.

"Hey!" You sit up from the floor. "This is not making me feel better."

"Good, you made me think I had something on my face while I was talking to a pretty girl."

You gasp before slapping your hand over your mouth. Haechan rolls his eyes. "Oh, what? You don't know that you're pretty?"

"I-I mean... I-I don't know..." You stammer like an idiot.

"Well you are. And that's putting it lightly." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his legs as he peers up at you. Saying such pretty words with those constellation-filled eyes. If your heart was doing flips earlier, it was doing an entire gymnastics routine now. You play with your fingers, tearing your gaze away from him. You weren't sure how to respond. You were never good at taking compliments about your appearance.

"I uh... I have to continue practicing." You point your thumb behind you before settling it back into your lap.

"Oh, right." Haechan nods as he stands up from the floor. "Practicing is important."

"But we can talk another time." It sounds more like a suggestion than an act of disclosure, but just to be sure you don't sound too pushy you tack on a "Right?" at the end.

Haechan exhales amusedly. "Of course, how else are you gonna learn the ins and outs of the practice room?"

--🖱️▷

You didn't learn much, but you were definitely much cooler. You spent every break you had lying on the floor with Haechan. It wasn't the most picturesque location, but you didn't mind it. Spending time with him made it easy to ignore the strangeness of lying on the floor. It was a bit harder to ignore once his members started calling you his "floor buddy", but it wasn't too humiliating. Even less so since Haechan never protested. Seems like he didn't mind it either.

If he were honest, he doesn't understand why he catches you staring at him. What is more puzzling was the way you get flustered when he brings it up.

"You're not gonna prank me again, are you?" Haechan looks at you with suspicion sewn into his expression. You press your fingers to your cheek like you're checking their temperature.

"No! I'm not."

"Just checking now that I know you're this big prankster."

You throw your head back against the floor in defeat. You don't stand a chance against Haechan's teasing. He always manages to make you tap out.

"No, but really..." Haechan starts and you turn your head toward him. "Why are you always staring at me?" He tries to keep a straight face, but his confusion seeps through when his eyebrows furrow slightly. Your mouth hangs open as your eyes dart around the room. Truthfully, you had no honest answer that didn't make you seem suspicious. You're sure some people think you're a rich brat who's here just to hang around idols and ogle at them. Admitting to Haechan that that's exactly what you were just doing felt wrong. Could he trust you enough to continue hanging out with you after that? Perhaps keeping it a secret was worse, but perhaps you were okay with being a little bit selfish. Being with Haechan was making all this grueling practice bearable.

"Uhh... subject change! How was that variety show-"

"Nice try. Actually, horrible try. Why would you announce-?"

"I don't know." You hide your face in your hands, muffling the incoming whines.

"So tell me what I need to know." Haechan shifts his body to the side, resting his head on his hand. Your eyes flicker around the room, feeling something uncomfortable stirring inside your stomach. Not only would Haechan find out that you were ogling him, but he'd also find out you thought he was attractive this whole time. There's no way a confession like that would leave your relationship unscathed. Sure, Haechan says it all the time. But his excuse of 'it's just a fact' was starting to work on you. The way he'd nonchalantly shrug his shoulders after every "you're beautiful" was believable. Your heart reacted nonetheless.

There's no way you'd be able to play it off as a simple observation. You'd gulp and stammer and squirm, no doubt about it. But there was no backing out of this apparently, so here goes nothing.

"I-I think you're very handsome, Haechan." You try to keep your eyes on his blinking ones, but ultimately fail. You groan, hiding your face again.

"Haha. Very funny."

You peel your hands from your face to peer at Haechan who had turned off his side. "Funny?"

"You're getting better at the pranks, I'll admit it." He laughs dryly.

"What prank? Haechan, I'm serious." You maneuver closer to him, puzzled by his reaction. He flops his head to the side, a scrutinizing look on his face.

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better. Like I said, you're pretty and that's just a fact. You don't have to try and return the compliment."

You lie there quietly for a moment as he fixates back on the vent. "Do you seriously think I'm pretending to stare at you?"

"More like there's a different reason you're doing so."

"What? Like me thinking you're ugly or something? That's not it at all!"

He sighs. "Don't lie."

You push yourself up with your elbow, ready to pour your heart out about how he makes you go crazy every time you see his face, but you get a different idea. One that fills your body with nervous excitement. You overcome the nerves as you look at his face again. The slight annoyance on his face made him look irresistibly adorable. Those damned puppy dog eyes glitter like the stars. How soft his caramel-tinted skin looks. His lips look... inviting. You grab his face, smushing it between your hands as you deliberate once more. He looks at you in confusion before you lean down slowly and press your lips to his.

It was a short and sweet kiss, lips still adhered for a moment as you pull away. His lips glisten with the lip balm that transferred to them. He was dazed, and a bit shocked for a moment, but soon enough his lids grew heavier as he sits up and dives in for another kiss. Just as sweet as before, but with a bit more longing. Both of his hands made their way to your jaw, fingertips sneaking into the nape of your hair.

He tasted like mint and the sugar from whatever he was snacking on earlier. His lips brushed against yours as he readjusted to suck on your bottom lip. You sigh against him, fingers finding the back of his shirt before clenching onto it. You felt dizzy, almost like you were drunk. That must be what was stopping you from stopping this. Someone could walk in at any moment. Hell, someone could walk past and peek in. This was not safe for either of you, but none of that mattered more than your need to feel and taste each other.

You tasted so fucking good. Your vanilla-flavored lip balm was the cherry on top. It made both of your mouths soft and slick so your lips glide against each other with more ease. Haechan was getting riled up fast. More than anyone, he should stop before he does something stupid like acting on his primal urges. Urges that grew stronger when he tugs on your hair, eliciting a pretty noise from you. He pulls away with a chuckle. "Having fun, angel?"

You miss his lips already, so much that you feel spontaneous. You lift your thumb toward his bottom lip, smoothing your thumb along the plump flesh. You're mesmerized by your own actions, and he's mesmerized by you.

"What has gotten into you?" He asks in a hushed voice.

"Haechan..." You start, still staring at his lips. "You're so hot," You finally look at him, watching as his eyes go wide, "so annoyingly, devastatingly hot. Not just your face, but how you talk, how you carry yourself. I... I just can't get enough of you." You rush out before heaving as you stare into his eyes. It was a bit entertaining to watch him be the one flustered by compliments. Seems like the teddy bear can dish it but not take it. You smile with a giggle. "You're so sexy Haechan-"

"Shut up." He crashes his lips against yours, pushing you over so that you're laying on your back. He rests his hands beneath your head, lifting it up so he can move his lips against yours properly. You feel something protruding against your stomach. You gasp lightly against his mouth, yearning stronger for him when he bites your lip. “You talk too much.” He growls.

He was doing a great job at shutting you up. You were too preoccupied with trying to inconspicuously push forward for a better feel of his bulge. You couldn’t even do it a second time before he catches on to what you’re doing. He shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at you. “You are just full of surprises.”

He slides lower until the outline of his heavy member is resting directly on your mound. You can feel his thick shaft so vividly through the thin cotton of your shorts and underwear. “This what you want?” He quirks up an eyebrow at you. You nod, though your lip caught in your teeth and wanton expression already gave it away.

“Okay,” Haechan sits up on his knees, ceasing all friction. Your hips chase his, huffing when you can’t reach him.

“Take it.” He nods at his steadily hardening member. Settling on your forearms, you look at him confusedly. “I wanna see how many more surprises you have for me.” He smirks, voice deep, shooting right to your core. He looks so cocky. Unlike most men, it fits him so well. His lowered lids with a slanted smile suggested he didn’t think you were capable of taking the lead.

With how flustered you constantly are, Haechan expects you to be a whimpering, whiny mess in bed. He’d find it cute, of course, but he wants to see you act with a little confidence. Someone who looks like you should be the most confident motherfucker around.

He was always teasing you and gaining the upper hand with his certitude and wit. After getting a taste of how he acted when he was flustered, you needed to experience it more. So you lean forward, sliding your legs from under him and pushing him back. You catch a glimpse of a shocked expression as you press a splayed hand against his chest and it nourishes your determination. With a single, swift motion you pull the bow his drawstring was tied in loose. He watches eagerly as you push his pants down, lifting his hips to aid the process.

The sight of his more prominent outline makes your mouth go dry. His tan thighs are a sight you could get used to. You run your hands up his thighs, feeling how hot his skin is and how it erupts in goosebumps at your touch. You move them further until they’re resting on either side of his member. He puffs out a frustrated exhale.

“I’d love to take my time with you angel but we haven’t got all day.”

You grin up at him mischievously. And who said you weren’t good at teasing? If the Donghyuk from the first day you met saw how you slid his underwear down his legs and looked hungrily at his hard cock he wouldn’t believe his eyes. Not that he’s any less surprised right now. Your eyes are blown out as you inspect his phallus. Sufficiently veiny and thick, making up for where it lacks in length. You brush your fingers up the shaft, feeling the silky skin. He hisses, face tensing as he watches. He switches between watching your hand and your curious eyes before he exhales amusedly.

“You’re a virgin aren’t you?”

You place your entire hand along the base to get a proper measurement. The angle of it solidifies in your mind how well it’ll hit your g-spot.

“Nope.” You push him down so his upper body is flat against the floor. There’s a fondness to his gaze that lights a fire behind your cheeks. You lower yourself between his legs and begin kissing up his thighs. Just this is enough for Haechan. He makes a mental note to let you mark up his thighs when there’s more time to spare. But for now, he wants you to get on with it.

“Need I remind you where we are, angel?” His face pinches in pleasure when you plant a kiss on his balls. You ignore him and seek out that reaction again, sucking one of them into your mouth. His hot shaft raises the temperature of your hand as you wrap around it. A salacious moan breaches from his throat as you transition from no stimulation to sucking his balls and pumping his dick. Getting your fill from one side you switch to the other, coating it in a thick layer of saliva with a lengthy lap of your tongue. You pull your face away to let a little spit dribble from your tongue before sucking again. Arousal pumps fiercely through Haechan’s veins as you stimulate him. He tries and fails to keep quiet, choked groans slipping through every now and then. He squeezes his lips tight when you suck both sides into your mouth.

What he was witnessing was a masterpiece. Such a beautiful face dirtying up his dick and balls. So dedicated to get him off while looking so fitting for your pet name. “Angel,” he shudders, “I wanna fuck.”

“Hm?” You ignore him. You’re sitting pretty on your high horse with no intention of getting off any time soon. You want him to either whine and beg for it or cum all over your face. It’s a welcome change of pace to see him like this. And just for you? You could cum untouched. You release his balls with a pop before trailing your tongue to his shaft. He drops his head back with a heavy sigh as you trail wet, sloppy kisses up his shaft. “Fuck–” He breathes harshly and you can tell he’s getting there.

You run your spit-slicked lips up and down his member, poking your tongue out to kitty lick here and there, until his member starts twitching. He whines something under his breath and the sound makes you buck against his leg. “What was that?”

“Need you, need you…” He murmurs mindlessly, flicking his hips up involuntarily. You deliver full-on licks to his shaft until his stomach starts tensing and his moans pick up in frequency. “Please– fuck!”

You don’t listen again, you just give his tip the same treatment you gave his balls. Haechan’s torso jumps up from the floor as he moans louder than you’ve ever heard him. You giggle, “Hm~ I found the sweet spot I think.”

“Think this is funny?” He looks flush, hair beginning to stick to his forehead and pupils blown wide. If he was setting out to hypnotize you, it was working because you were entranced by his eyes. He takes the opportunity to push on top of you and flip you over. You nearly yelp but he covers your mouth with his hand. “No more slip-ups, we can’t get caught okay?” You nod within his grasp. “Good, because it would suck if we had to stop.” He purrs as he slips your shorts down as well as he can with one hand. You nod again and he coos a bit of praise.

He slips his hand from your mouth and kisses your cheek softly. You just about melt, and you feel like you actually could after what he says next.

“I told you I needed you and I meant it.” He shoves your shorts the rest of the way down and lowers his hips until his tip is spreading you open. Your lips part like softened butter until he’s fully submerged inside you. He pants next to your ear before peppering more feather-light kisses along your jaw and neck. When he bottoms out you feel a groan rumble in his chest. You keen, pushing back until there’s no space between you.

Haechan rises further on his knees to make up for it before dropping his hips down. You gasp and his hand is back over your mouth, not stopping his onslaught of pounding. Countless coos of praise fill your ears as he fucks the sense right out of you. Your eyes roll up, legs twitching as he fills you up slam after slam. You mumble your own praise incoherently behind his hand which makes him chuckle beside your ear. “Knew you’d be cute getting fucked.”

He angles his hips to brush against your frontmost wall and rubs at your g-spot again and again. “F-feels so good.” You know he can’t hear you but it was just mindless blabbering anyway. You worry for a moment that all this drilling will leave your legs hurting and prevent you from following instructions, but every thrust wipes your worries away. You feel connected and close to Haechan in a way you didn’t know you needed until now. You pull his hand away and chuckle slightly. “Need you too, Haechan.” You breathe until you’re whimpering again and he has to re-cover your mouth. “I love to hear it, angel.”

You can feel fractures of your orgasm beginning to form, tingling up your thighs and collecting in your groin. You suck in a harsh breath as your legs quiver. “‘m fucking cumming.” Haechan mutters as his hips stutter and his knees slide against the floor. Hearing his sounds build in desperation makes your abdomen clench and in turn, your walls. Haechan bites your shoulder in an attempt to muffle the resounding cry that crawls from his throat. His hips buck wildly into you, jolting you forward until your orgasm fills your channel and joins his spurting semen.

The two of you are only afforded two or three minutes to come down, but it feels like an eternity of bliss so you’re okay with it. Haechan pulls the both of you up and embraces you while he stays inside. Then the sound of multiple people thundering toward the practice room cause you both to jump up and situate yourselves as quickly as possible.

--🖱️▷

The rest of 127 watch as you and Haechan talk across the room. Taeyong is the first to talk. “They had sex didn’t they.” He narrows his eyes at Haechan leaning in and whispering something in your ear, he notes your shocked expression and subsequent slap of is arm.

“I caught onto that like… last month.” Mark mumbles.

“Really? I thought she’d be too shy. She doesn’t seem like the type.” Doyoung says before reflecting. Then one, two, three beats pass before Taeyong speaks again.

“You guys think they did it on the floor?”

The rest of the members react in audible disgust which makes the two of you look over. “Where do you think they did it?” Johnny asks, suddenly panicked about everywhere his feet land.

Mark looks around sheepishly before mumbling, “Just steer clear of the vent."

likes and reblogs are very appreciated! 🖱️⤻ nct dream & 127 masterlists

#FiCrEbLoG #my baby

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illyrianbitch · 9 months ago

Text

hehehe i am nothing if not a heartbreaker

Where I Left My Lover

Pairing: Reader x Azriel

Summary: After a brush with death, Azriel makes a difficult decision to protect you.

Summary: angst!!!! & bad decisions.

Word Count: 3.8k

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

With a forceful push, the door to Rhysand’s office swung open as Nesta swept into the room, eyes blazed with a fury that made Azriel swallow. Cassian’s loud footsteps echoed as he followed after his mate.

"Tell me it isn't true," she demanded, her voice a low, dangerous growl.

Rhysand moved to intercept her, his hand outstretched in a futile attempt to stop her from her warpath. "Nesta, perhaps we should—"

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Nesta shoved him away with a forceful gesture, her gaze fixed on Azriel. The shadowsinger stood eerily still, even his shadows unmoving.

"Azriel," she said, her voice trembling with anger. "Tell me it isn't true."

His gaze faltered, and suddenly he found himself unable to meet Nesta's accusing, burning stare. He looked away, his shadows curling into themselves behind him, as if retreating in shame.

Nesta's anger flared, hands clenching at her side. She breathed out sharply, the sound a mixture of frustration and rage. Whipping around to face Rhysand, she leveled a searing gaze at him.

"I expect something like this from you," she spat, her tone laced with contempt.

Rhysand's expression hardened into a withering glare, but before he could respond, Nesta turned back to Azriel. "But you?" she continued, her voice dripping with disappointment. "You're supposed to be better than this."

Azriel's jaw tightened as he grit his teeth together. From behind Nesta, he watched as Cassian approached, staring at him with a frown and furrowed brows. Azriel looked back to Nesta.

“You don’t understand-”

"I don't care," she retorted, her tone icy. "You cannot do this. Not to Y/n."

At the mention of your name, Azriel's heart clenched, a wave of sadness washing over him like a relentless tide. He swallowed hard.

"This is for Y/n," he responded, his voice low. Flat. "To keep her safe."

"That is not your decision to make," Nesta snarled, "You are stripping her of her right to choose, and you know deep down she wouldn't want this."

There was something about the way Nesta spoke, how she stared at him with such disappointment, that made him angry. Azriel was making the right decision. He was being selfless, yet everyone was seeing it the other way, seeing him as some monster.

Within seconds, his control slipped, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he took a step forward, his eyes flashing with a dark intensity. "She almost died!" he exclaimed, his voice laced with desperation. "She almost died because of me. I don't care what she wants. I'm doing this to keep her safe."

Cassian moved quickly, placing a firm hand on Nesta's shoulder. “Watch it,” he growled as he met Azriel's gaze.

Azriel blinked. And then he was composing himself once more, moving back into a straight posture. "I'm doing this because I love her," he said, his voice softer now, tinged with sorrow.

"No," Nesta said, her voice sharp. "This is not love. This is wrong. And if you go through with it, I'll never let you forget it."

As Nesta turned to leave, Azriel felt a pang of regret gnaw at his heart. A wave of guilt washed over him at the realization that he had disappointed someone he cared about so deeply. He truly cared about Nesta, respected her strength and conviction, and the thought of her walking away, angry and disillusioned, made him sick to his stomach. Had he lost two people today? Was he truly doing the right thing?

Yes, he reminded himself. Images of you conjured in his brain— your pale, bruised and bloody body, the way you laid limp in his arms. He thought back to how he’d relished in the screams of the soldiers who had tortured you, how he took his time carving them out for what they had done. He thought about how long you’d been in that bed, unmoving with shallow breaths, how scared he’d been that he’d lost you. You were human. You were something he could lose. And his life, his duties, had almost cost him your life.

Azriel looked up to meet Rhysands gaze, who had been standing in quiet observation, making no move to talk or intervene. Azriel had already spoken to Rhys, had gotten the same discussion from him. His gaze flickered to Cassian, who was shaking his head as he stared out of the door his mate had left through.

“Nes is right,” Cassian said, “I mean, we’ve done our fair share of questionable things, but this?”

He paused for a moment, eyes darting between his two brothers.

“It’s what needs to be done,” Azriel said.

Cassian shook his head. “No. It’s what you think needs to be done. And you’re wrong.”

Azriel let out a deep exhale, his jaw clenched.

“Rhys,” Cass said, turning to face the High Lord. “C’mon. You know better than this. You really think this is okay?”

Rhysand held his gaze. For a moment, Cass believed he’d gotten through to his brother, that perhaps he’d realized how far this was going to go, how wrong Azriel was. But Rhysand simply straightened his posture.

“I’m not a part of this,” was all he responded.

Cass shook his head once more, poking a finger into Rhysand’s chest.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Az has lost his goddsdamned mind. Why are you entertaining this?”

It was Azriel who moved next, walking up to Cassian and pushing him away with a small shove. He gave a snarl, shadows swirling around his forearms. Cass looked down at the hand pressed against his chest, and then up at Azriel with flared nostrils and a look of deep disappointment in his eyes.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Azriel growled, “You think this is something I want to do?”

Cassian pushed him off.

“I think you’ve lost sight of what is fear and what is reason.”

“Enough,” Rhysand commanded, walking to the two males to separate them with his extended hands. He turned to Cassian and let out a small exhale. Cass saw it, then, the sadness in his eyes.

“In the centuries that Azriel has been a part of this family, a part of this court, he has not asked for favors. He has asked me now, and I owe it to him.”

Cassian let out a small scoff. It was a losing game. They were all stubborn— it came with their lineage, with their dna. So he settled at casting Azriel another glance and frowned.

"This is selfish, Az," he said, his voice heavy with regret. "She is not only yours. She’s family. She’s Nesta’s friend. She’s my friend—"

Something flickered in Azriel's eyes, a weariness settling over him as he grew tired of defending his actions. "Do you want her as a friend or do you want her alive?"

Cassian slightly recoiled, a small tick in his jaw. “That’s not fair.”

“Cassian,” Rhys said slowly, “Leave.”

Cassian rubbed his jaw, a heavy anger simmering beneath his skin as he shot one last glare at Azriel. "Whatever," he muttered in disappointment, "I can’t even look at you."

And with that, he turned and stalked out of the room.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

The soft chirping of birds filled the air, the sounds a gentle caress against Azriel’s skin. The beauty around him stood out in stark contrast to the heavy silence that hung over him like a suffocating cloak. He’d always loved your little home, loved how secluded it was, how quiet. Everything was slower here, more timid, more calm.

You were inside with Rhysand, now, and Azriel could hear the faint echo of your voices. It didn’t last long. Within moments it went quiet, and Az clenched his fists at his side.

The longer he lingered outside, the more he felt the pull of your presence, the echo of your touch haunting him like a ghost. Azriel fought every urge to run back inside, to hold you and kiss you again like he had moments prior. It wasn't long enough. He should have taken another minute, another hour. But he knew, deep down, it would never be enough, that it would never be the right time. The longer he spent with you, the longer he felt your touch, it broke him even more.

Azriel’s shadows pulled at him, wrapping around his ankles as if to pull him back inside. He scolded them, his wings twitching as he slightly kicked his feet. They swarmed once more. They were angry at him too. Azriel knew this. He felt it in their touch, in the way they’d whisper. He did his best to ignore it.

He wasn’t being selfish. He was putting you first.

There was a faint creak as the door opened behind him. Swiftly, he turned around, his eyes locking with Rhysand's as his brother stepped out and closed the door behind him with a deliberate slowness.

Rhysand gave Azriel a small, curt nod. "It's done.”

Azriel's chest tightened, a lump forming in the back of his throat. "Is she-" he began, his voice catching in his throat.

“She’s alright.”

There was a heavy ache in Azriel’s chest now, something tender like an open wound. His heart felt hollow. Empty. He looked down at the ground, at the shadows at his feet, and tightly shut his eyes.

Rhysand’s face softened. “Az,” he started, but Azriel simply shook his head.

"Don't," he whispered hoarsely. And before Rhysand could respond, he disappeared.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

Azriel stood outside the small inn, his heart pounding in his chest as he hesitated at the threshold. He knew he shouldn't be here, shouldn't risk drawing attention to himself or risk the chance of undoing what he’d chosen to do. But the pull of his own longing had been too strong to resist. He’d lasted longer than expected, but even then, he’d been in agony. He was restless, angry, and above all else, he was lonely.

With a deep breath, he adjusted his posture, making a mental check of the glamour he’d put around himself, concealing his wings and any other identifying features of his. Even with the cover, he kept his wings tightly folded against his back, just in case something went awry.

And then he entered, casting a wary glance around the room as he made his way through the crowded floor. His hands were tucked securely in his pockets, his shadows coiled around him like protective tendrils. He’d done his best to make them blend into the black material of his clothing, told them to stay put and ripple like fabric would.

Finding a small table in the corner, Azriel made his way over, but as he lowered himself into the seat, a nagging voice in the back of his mind warned him of the folly of his actions. This was stupid, dangerous, and entirely self-indulgent. Dangerous, dangerous, his shadows echoed. He tightened his jaw. He would only be here for a few moments, he told himself, he just wanted to see you— once. That was all.

His shadows whispered louder, a small anxious buzz in his head. He needed to leave before it was too late.

But before he could make a move, he looked up and froze, his breath catching in his throat.

“Hello,” you said timidly, giving him a small smile. Azriel’s heart leapt as the sound, a sudden rush of warmth filling his veins. Your hair was shorter now than the last time he saw you, and you wore a few dainty gold chains around your neck that he’d never seen. Had you bought those recently? Made them with your friends? They looked beautiful on you. And you had so much color. You looked alive. You looked happy.

A moment passed as Azriel simply stared at you, and then he was shaking his head slightly, freeing himself of the daze he had fallen into.

“Uh, hi- hello.”

It was then he finally noticed the two small glasses in your hands, both filled slightly with an amber liquid. You followed his gaze, looking down at your own hands. You frowned slightly and then you extended one towards him.

“I’m not sure why I brought this,” you admitted, “But here. This is for you.”

Azriel swallowed, gently reaching out to take the small cup from your hands. His fingers brushed against your skin ever so slightly and he nearly jumped at the contact, a tingling sensation filling his body. Your brows furrowed as you observed his hands, your gaze tracing over the perfectly smoothed, tan skin.

He had them glamoured too, just to be safe.

He watched as you blinked, your expression shifting with a mixture of confusion, as if you sensed something wrong. A wave of sickening guilt rolled through his stomach. His shadows circled at his feet— subtly enough that they’d blend in to the darkness of the cornered floor, but strong enough to where Azriel felt them, pawing at him like dogs to an owner.

“Thank you,” Azriel finally brought himself to say.

Your gaze instantly flickered back to his eyes. You scanned his face, taking in his features, the brown of his eyes. And then you gave him another smile, a small blush forming on your cheeks. You looked over to the empty seat in front of him.

"Do you mind?"

Azriel felt a surge of flustered panic coursing through him, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to compose himself. "Oh, yes, of course, please," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. He readjusted himself in his own chair.

As you settled into the seat across from him, Azriel couldn't tear his gaze away from you. He watched, mesmerized, as you took a small sip from the glass, the soft curve of your lips bringing back every memory he’d held of them.

He watched as you scanned the crowd. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to look away, to break the spell. This would only make things worse for him. But try as he might, he couldn't tear his gaze away from you, couldn't tear himself away from indulging in your presence. It took every ounce of restraint within him not to lean forward, to reach out and caress you.

You caught Azriel's gaze as he quickly averted his eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips at his sudden shyness. "I'm sorry for interrupting your quiet time," you said.

Azriel shifted in his seat. "No," he replied, a bit too quickly, his voice catching in his throat. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I mean, I don't mind."

You smiled, a warmth in your eyes that made his heart flutter– something just as painful as it was comforting.

"This may sound silly, but it feels like I was supposed to come talk to you," you confessed, your voice soft.

A tug in his chest. “Really?"

"Yes," you replied, your gaze drifting momentarily to the crowd before returning to him. "I'm quite good at listening. Maybe you need a good ear."

Azriel chuckled softly. You always were great at listening, even better at talking, too. It was a perfect balance. He’d always loved that about you. Your presence was so calming, so quiet compared to the loudmouths he called family, even if he loved them dearly. He missed it, how gentle you were.

"I don't know if that's what I need.”

You tilted your head, studying him with a curious expression. "What brought you here today?"

Azriel thought for a moment, his gaze falling to his glass as he traced a finger along its rim. He knew he couldn't hide the truth from you, not when you were always so good at reading him, so stubborn at getting what you really wanted.

After a brief pause, he finally admitted, "A girl."

Your eyes lit up with interest, a smile gracing your lips as you leaned in slightly. "Yeah?" you asked, “She somebody special?”

Azriel met your gaze, attempting to muster a smile, but a lump formed in his throat, choking back the words he struggled to say. He bounced his knee nervously under the table. “She was. I can’t seem to let her go.”

Your frown deepened at the admission, a pang of sympathy tugging at your heart. "I'm sorry," you murmured.

But Azriel quickly shook his head, a faint smile touching his lips as he reassured you, "It's alright."

Silence enveloped you for a moment.

"She was the love of my life," Azriel said, his voice softer than he’d ever heard it. He glanced up at you, instantly finding your attentive gaze that met his own.

You remained quiet, but he knew the look on your face. Eyes wide, slight furrowed brows, a small smile. You were urging him to continue, waiting for him to finish, to be heard.

"Beautiful, kind, funny," he continued, his voice soft with reverence. "Also a great listener."

As he spoke, memories of moments shared with you flooded his mind, each beautiful and painful in their own rite, a haunting sense of longing drowning his senses.

You gave a small breathy laugh.

"No wonder you can't let her go," you said. There was a ting of sadness in your gentle voice. Azriel wondered what it was for.

"Yeah," he agreed softly, his gaze drifting back to his glass.

Silence settled between you once more, the air heavy with every unspoken thought and emotion that Azriel felt. He wasn’t sure why he did it, why he let it slip. But before he could stop himself, Azriel looked up, his gaze searching yours as he asked, "Have you ever felt that way?"

You paused, caught off guard by the sudden turn in the conversation. For a moment, you opened your mouth to respond, but the words eluded you, leaving you with a furrowed brow and a frown of uncertainty.

You slumped slightly in your chair, a heaviness settling over you as you admitted, "No, I haven't."

Azriel's heart sank at your response, a pang of disappointment coursing through him despite his efforts to suppress it. He had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that there might have been a glimmer of memory within you, somewhere deep in your bones that recognized him.

He didn’t know why he pressed further, didn’t know why he couldn’t stop himself from talking. He felt his shadows slowly rising from his feet, now surrounding his thighs. He pushed them back.

"Have you ever been in love?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

A part of him dared to hope yet again, to cling to the possibility that you feel the same yearning, the same ache that he’d felt for years. But even as he spoke the words, another part of him recoiled in shame, knowing that he had no right to ask, no right to expect anything from you. He had dug his own grave. This was his doing. This was his choice— and he was being selfish. He was being so utterly selfish as he sat there before you.

Still, the longing lingered, a flicker of hope that refused to be extinguished, even in the face of his own self-imposed exile. But as he watched you, the sadness etched in your features, he knew that his hopes had been in vain.

Your gaze met his, troubled and uncertain, and you hesitated before answering, "I— No. I don't think I have."

Azriel felt a wave of sadness wash over him at your response, a deep ache settling in his chest. His heart was burning now, a pain that made him queasy, made him want to cry and scream at the same time. He decided this was worst than any torture– having to sit across from you as a stranger, as someone who was unable to touch you, hold you, tell you how beautiful you looked, and listen to you say you’d never been in love. Because you had been. You were deeply in love, so in love it scared you both.

A hot anger filled him. He mourned his old life. He mourned his future with you. You were something real. He had something real. But his past, his duty, his life, it had prevented him from keeping it all, from indulging in a life much simpler than his own, one where he could sit across from you in a run-down inn and watch drunken village males make bets with one another.

But it was still his fault. He had done this. And you sat before him, a look of frustration on your face, as if you could feel something was off. Shame filled him. He needed to leave.

Quickly he brought his cup to his lips and chugged the remainder of his drink, the burn of alcohol a bitter sensation that he welcomed with open arms.

"Thank you for the company," Azriel said as he pushed himself up from the table.

Your gaze followed him, a flicker of concern in your eyes as you watched him rise. "You're leaving?" you asked with a frown.

Azriel nodded, his movements stiff as he straightened his posture. "It was very nice meeting you," he replied, his voice strained as he turned to go.

But before he could take another step, you spoke again, your words stopping him in his tracks. "Wait," you said, the chair sliding on the floor as you stood.

Azriel turned back to face you, his heart pounding in his chest as he awaited your next words. It was getting harder to breathe now, his heartbeat shuddering in his ears. He needed to leave.

"I hope that one day I'll experience a love like that," you said, pausing for a moment. With a soft, but hesitant, smile, you continued, "That one day, someone will love me like you loved her."

A flicker of surprise crossed Azriel's features. His mouth fell open slightly as he took a sharp inhale. And then he was swallowing heavily, blinking away the pressure building up behind his eyes.

“You will,” he responded, his voice a slight croak. He cleared his throat, looking to the floor for a second. Then, his gaze was holding yours for a lingering moment. "Goodbye, Y/n.”

You watched his retreating figure with a small smile on your lips. But then, like a sudden bolt of lightning, a realization struck you. You frowned.

Your feet moved of their own accord, propelling you forward faster than your mind could process. You dashed to the entrance, flinging open the door as sunlight flooded your vision, momentarily blinding you.

"Wait! How did you know my—" you began, the words catching in your throat as you stepped outside, your eyes scanning the area in search of Azriel's retreating form. But to your dismay, there was no one there, no trace of him to be found, only the empty street stretched out before you, bathed in the golden glow of the afternoon sun.

Your voice trailed off into a whisper as you finished your sentence, "name.”

Your name.

How did he know your name?

Frowning, you brought a hand to your chest, feeling a small burning fluttering sensation in your ribs. With a sigh, you bit the inside of your cheek. You turned around and made your way back inside, your heart now heavy with a sensation you didn’t quite know how to name.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

a/n: since in death & his reaper azriel forgot about reader, i obvs had to balance the scales and write one where the reader forgets az. we luv angst!!! hope y’all enjoyed 🫶🏻

#i know ive written my angst right when i make you cry <3 #azriel #ficreblog

1K notes · View notes

pimosworld · 1 year ago

Text

You are so welcome love, turning horny thoughts into fics one day at a time.

So Blue

Club Blue Jones x f!Reader Jake Lockley x f!Reader

This is a fic based on this post by @thedarkcoven and @melodygatesauthor

Summary- Jake comes to his cousin Blue’s aide in a time of need but finds something he needs much more.

CW-NSFW,18+ MDNI,Explicit, dub con,non con, Blue owns a Brothel and reader is a sex worker. Degrading comments,possessive Blue,possessive Jake, hints of yandere Jake, cursing, kissing, angst, innocence kink,fingering,oral sex female receiving, unprotected piv,anal,anal cream pie,dacryphilia,cum eating, orgasm denial,kidnapping.A hint of Steven and Marc if you squint.

WC-3k

A/N-Please do not read if this is not for you, this is a safe space to explore things outside of the normal world. If I forgot any tag warnings feel free to comment.

Not beta read

Your hands are shaking as you make your way down the hall to Blue’s office. You were only called into the office for two reasons, when Blue was feeling possessive and needed to let off some steam. He would bend you over his desk for what felt like hours, ramming his thick cock into you. Your screams of pleasure would echo down the hall for all his men to hear.

The other reason which usually resulted in the same outcome was that you’re in trouble. Each time brought a flutter of nerves and excitement, your brain can’t decide how to feel about Blue. He was so wrong and fucked up in so many ways, yet he could be so sweet when he wanted to. Keeping you right where he wanted, in limbo with your own body.

You stand in front of the door taking slow deep breaths as you smooth your hands down your barely there skirt and adjust your tie front crop top. Blue made you wear these clothes if you could call them that. You slowly open the door and you’re hit with a strong musky scent, like Blue’s but there’s something different there. You see the back of a man’s head seated in front of Blue’s desk, your heart slams in your chest at the thought of interrupting a meeting.

So stupid you should have knocked

You’re turning on your heel faster than you can register.

“Where are you going sweetheart.” His voice stops you in your tracks and you turn to see Blue uncharacteristically smiling at you. He motions come here with his fingers and you’re at his side in an instant. He places a firm hand on the small of your back as he faces you towards the man in the chair. Your breath catches in your throat as you're met with venomous eyes and a grim expression. He’s staring at you but he’s looking at your eyes, something most men don’t do.

You can smell it now the difference it’s fresh leather, his jacket and gloves in pristine condition. He definitely cares about his appearance, it seems just as much as Blue. Something about him was so familiar and you don’t even notice how long you’ve been staring at each other until a tight squeeze on your hip brings you back.

“This is my cousin Jake, he’s gonna be here for a few days to keep an eye on some things for me.”

“Jake, this is my number one girl.” He smacks your ass eliciting a yelp from you and you can’t look at the man in front of you. Your face grows hot at the display he’s showing in front of this man who certainly peaked your curiosity.

“What’s your na-.”

“Don’t worry about what her name is.” Blue bites out. Jake shoots him a look of warning and Blue holds his hands up in mock surrender.

He’s not in control

“Listen, her name is not important. If you need anything from her you ask me. Jake nods at him in understanding.

“Go get ready,you’ve got a busy night and I don’t want you keeping anyone waiting.” He slaps your ass again and you stifle a groan not wanting to deal with the aftermath of him hearing you.

“Yes sir.” Is all you manage as you round the desk.

“Adiós Princesa.” He’s gonna be trouble.

****

“I need you to keep an eye on some high profile clients.” Blue lights his cigar and settles further into his chair.

“You’ve got muscle all over this place, what do you need me for?” Jake knows he’s not here by accident.

“They don’t have an eye like you…I think there’s some business going on under the table and I don’t want it going on in my club.”

“Fair enough, I can only stay a few days.” Jake pulls his hat down nervously.

“A few days is all I need and you’ll be paid before you leave.”

Jake stands to leave but hesitates just before the door.

“How much for your number one girl?”

Blue clenches his fist, digging his fingernails into his palm. He takes a steady calming breath and rolls his tense shoulders back. Jake was doing him a favor, but the thought of him having you still made him jealous.

“I’m not paying you enough for her.” He smirks to himself waiting for Jake's response.

Jake is seeing red-does he know who I am? He knows he would never do anything to his cousin but it was hard keeping his cool when he always had such a smart mouth.

“I have my own money hermaño.”

Jake's insistence was pissing him off but he needed his help.

“You can have her tomorrow night, she’s busy tonight.”

“For how lo-.”

“I’ll decide how long.” He says through gritted teeth.

Jake exits the office with a noxious grin. I think I’ll decide.

****

Blue told you to be ready for Jake. He was colder than normal and didn’t give you many details. You weren’t new to this but something about Jake made you nervous.

You knock lightly on his door and he immediately opens as if he was waiting on the other side. He beckons you in and turns you to face him.Your eyes trail down his bare chest and notice the bulge in his black boxers. He looks at you hungrily as he pulls the tie on your black silk robe letting it fall to the floor. You’re wearing matching blue lace lingerie underneath.

“I see you followed my instructions.” He grazes his thumb over your nipple sending a shiver down your spine. He leans in to kiss you but you pull away. You see that look in his eyes again and you’re trembling but they immediately soften into something sad.

“He doesn’t kiss you?”

“No sir.” He places a hand behind your neck pulling you into a bruising kiss, your lips melt into his as he moans into your mouth. He’s pushing you onto the bed without breaking the kiss as your tongues dance with one another. You feel like you’re floating from this intimacy. You feel the guilt creep up on someone other than Blue making you feel like this but you push it down not wanting to ruin this moment.

“I’m gonna make you feel good Princesa.” He’s breathless as he trails kisses along your jaw and down your body, he gently lifts your hips to slide your panties down and groans at the sight of your dripping folds. He licks a stripe through your entrance and circles your clit with his tongue. Soft whimpers leave your mouth as you grip the sheets beneath you.

“He doesn’t take his time with you, does he?” He doesn’t give you time to answer as he inserts a finger into your slick cunt drawing quick circles around your clit with his thumb.

You slam your hand over your mouth to muffle the cries of pleasure. He quickly grabs your wrist with his other hand.

“I want to hear you, I want him to hear you.” Fuck

He inserts another finger and fucks you at a fast pace, you don’t know how you’ll survive if his fingers stretch you like this. His tongue is on your sensitive nub and your breath hitches as he closes his lips down on your clit. He grinds his hips into the mattress for some friction where he desperately needs it.

“Oh..fuck…sir right there.” He chuckles lowly into your pussy and the vibrations could send you over the edge.

“You can call me Jake.” He curls his fingers and presses down on your bundle of nerves. Your release slams through you leaving you sobbing his name as your whole body shakes. He’s kissing your thighs as you come back down and looking at you like you hold all the answers.

“Be a good girl and get on your hands and knees.”

Your body moves faster than your brain wanted you to but you’re putty in his hands now. You can hear him shuffle behind you as he discards his boxers somewhere. You’re trying to calm your ragged breathing but his hot tongue devours your slick folds and circles your rim. His hands grip your waist before you collapse into the headboard.

He grips the base of his cock slowly dragging it through your slit, you can feel his tip breach your entrance and you keen at the stretch. He’s rocking his hips back and forth and his thick cock can barely fit.Your pussy clenches down on him and he bites down on his bottom lip practically drawing blood.

“I need you to relax…just let me in and it will feel so much better.” He reaches around and his fingertips circle your swollen clit. He can feel you relax around him as he works your hips onto his length. He’s in awe watching your slick coat the base of his cock as he stretches your pussy to the brim.

“Tell me who's making you feel this good.” He’s panting behind you as he picks up his pace.

“You Jake…fuck it feels so good.” All you can hear are the sounds of his hips meeting yours, the squelch of your cunt as his balls slap your clit over and over.

“Can I put it anywhere?” He runs his thumb along your lesser used hole and all you can manage is a breathy yes. He pulls out of your entrance and spreads your ass wide with his calloused hands.

You feel a glob of spit on your rim causing your pussy to clench around nothing. He prods just the tip and you already feel so full, he churns his hips slowly and your body feels on fire. The sensation has never felt so good, no one has ever taken their time.

You can tell he’s coming apart as his groans grow deeper and his thrusts become erratic. The pain gives way to pleasure as he snaps his hips into yours, he’s filling you with each roll of his hips and you can’t hear your thoughts over the screams of his name.

“Who do you belong to?” He’s grunting behind you as he slams you down on his cock.

“You..I’m.yours.Jake.” Each word punctuated on a thrust. A wrecked sound tears out of his chest from deep within as his release slams through him. His hips slow as he empties himself inside you. He trails light kisses down your sweaty spine and pulls out of you with a hiss.

You collapse onto the bed and he pulls your back flush with his chest. You can hear him drifting off to sleep as he mutters under his breath.

“Not letting you go, never letting you go.”

****

You don’t know how long you’ve been asleep when you hear a rap on the door. You turn to see Jake fast asleep, you raise his arm from your waist and slink out of bed to not disturb him.

As you place your robe back on you hear another frantic knock on the door. You hurry over to open it, not wasting time to find your panties.

“Times up sweetheart.” Blue’s eyes are bloodshot, his liner is smeared down his face and the anger in his expression isn’t one you’ve seen before. He grabs your arm and yanks you out of the room slamming the door behind you. His grip on you doesn’t loosen as he stalks down the hallway. You can hardly keep up with him as you trip over your feet.

“He fuck you so stupid you can’t even walk.” He doesn’t bother to pick you up, practically dragging you down the hall to his office. You can feel the tears prickling behind your eyes. His office door is a welcome sight for your poor knees.

“Get up.” His pupils are blown wide as you stand on shaky legs to enter his office. He’s pacing back and forth, Blue’s never been like this. He wouldn’t kill you, would he? He asked you to go to Jake's room. He finally stops pacing and sits in his chair. You can only stare at the floor afraid to meet his gaze as you fidget with the hem of your robe.

“Come have a seat.” His voice has softened a little and you feel a brief moment of relief. You move towards the chair but hear the faint sound of his belt buckle, as you look up and meet his eyes you can see the resemblance- the venomous eyes.

“You know where I want you to sit.” You can feel the arousal between your legs mixed with the dried cum. His cock is red and angry leaking precum down his length. You move to stand in front of him facing away as he smooths his hands up and down your thighs. He smacks your thigh and you hover your entrance over his lap.

“Sit.” You cry out at the stretch as he pulls you flush against his hips giving you no time to adjust.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” How do you answer this?

“No.” He slaps your pussy hard and you bite down on your tongue.

“Yes.” He growls in your ear and you can feel his cock pulse inside your walls.

“If you want to keep lying to me that’s fine, you’ll just have to make it up to me later.” He circles your clit with his fingertips and you clench around him.

“Who do you belong to?” You're weightless as he bounces you on his cock punching something deep inside you.

“You Blue…I belong to you.” He grips your hair pulling you back against his chest as he thrusts his hips up.

“Oh…tsk tsk I thought you were Jakes?” Was he listening?

“I’m so sorry Blue, I’m yours I’m all yours I swear.” You’re sobbing now as he picks up his pace, never releasing the grip on your hair. Your orgasm is approaching and you shouldn’t have this reaction to him but your body craves it. He’s the rehab and the drug all at once.

You’re thrust forward onto the desk and your grasping at anything for purchase as he fucks you at a relentless pace.

“Oh my god…Blue please.” Your cunt swallows him with each thrust. He pulls out of you suddenly, coming with a choked sound as he pumps his cock with his fist. You can feel the hot ropes of cum on your back staining the black satin robe. You can hear his wrecked groans as he milks the last of himself into his hand. He leans forward onto your back holding his hand in front of your face.

“Clean it.” You lick the salty remnants of his spend from his hand, moaning and savoring the taste the way he likes. As he slumps back into his chair you feel your pussy ache at the lack of release.

“You can go sweetheart.” The whine that escapes you is not lost on him.

“Maybe when you remember who you belong to you can come.” His menacing laugh echoes in your thoughts for the rest of the night.

****

“Those clients you wanted me to watch, we're trying to poach some of your girls. I took care of them so you shouldn’t have any more problems.”

Blue doesn’t really care what taking care of them means as long as the problem is resolved.

“Good, feel free to stay one more night. I’ll send some girls to your room.”

“Thanks hermaño, I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow. Ugh no need to send any girls, I need my rest for the drive.” Jake stands to exit Blue’s office but hesitates once again at the door.

“How much for your girl?” Blue groans white knuckling his chair -not this again.

“It’ll be double for tonight, same rules as last time.” He relents not wanting to cause a rift and is grateful for Jake's help.

“I mean how much to keep her…I want her.”

If Blue could spit fire he would. Who does he think he is? He would have anyone else killed for less than what Jakes got away with and now this?

Jake turns to face Blue and he’s seething, a long silence passes between the two men as he awaits his response.

“I wouldn’t let you have her for all the money in the world...She’s mine” His voice is dark and barely above a whisper. His eyes narrow slits and he looks like a snake ready to strike.

Jake walks towards his desk and Blue stands,both men on either side. He’s a wolf in the lion's den but he won’t back down. He leans forward placing his hands on the desk.

“People don’t say no to me Blue.” He laughs, the bastard laughs and for the first time Jake thinks he might be in trouble. Blue leans forward just inches away from Jake's face.

“There’s a first time for everything…Goodnight Jake.” He doesn’t falter, their faces still inches apart and then his face splits into a sickly sweet grin sending a chill down Blue’s spine.

“Goodnight.”

****

Your head is pounding in your skull and your body feels in motion. You can’t tell if it’s day or night but you know you’re not in your room. The smell of leather permeates your senses and it hurts to open your eyes. Your face is wet from laying in a puddle of your own drool.

You lift your weak body up and come to the realization that you're in a car. The windows are tinted black and you can hardly see outside-its a limousine. You wipe the drool from your mouth and try to remember the night. After Blue made you leave you cleaned yourself up and went to bed.

Is that really all you remember?

Tears begin to spill as panic sets in, the bile coming up in your throat at the thought of being in a stranger's car. You start to crawl towards the front and your body is so weak, you’ve never felt like this before as you try to focus on the soft carpet beneath your palms. You knock lightly on the partition and it slowly lowers.

“Good morning hermosa, how’d you sleep?” Your breath catches in your throat at the site of Jake. His hat pulled down above his furrowed brow.

“Please…take me back please. He’s going to be so mad.” You're crying and trying to catch your breath. All the while he’s laughing as his gloved hands tighten the grip on the steering wheel.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe with me now.You’re safe with us now.”He raises the partition muffling your screams as you bang on it incessantly. You feel the exhaustion creeping in from your panic and you know no matter the outcome you were not safe.

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

Tagging anyone that commented on the original post @thedarkcoven @simpforbritgents @fandxmslxt69

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misguidedasgardian · 1 year ago

Text

AAAHHHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! 🥹💞😈 thank you for reading and sharing! 🥹🥹🥹🔥🔥

Storm's End 3

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Niece!Strong!Reader

Summary: your mother sends you to Storm’s End to rally Lord Borros Baratheon for your side, but your uncle arrived there before you

Warnings: Cursing, use of the word bastard, angst, heavy, canon level incest, thoughts about dying, mentions of bedding, and more, dark fic, Aemond is unhinged, rape, non-con, minors engaging in sexual activities, blood, violence, smut on top of a dragon, asphyxia (not severe), kind of choking, moon tea shows up, and other very dark things.

+18 MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 3.9 k

Notes: Ufff It seems I can’t do one shots anymore, I think this required another third part because I didn’t want to make it so long… anyways…

Maybe… you’d prefer for Vhagar to have devoured you…

You shook your head at that, you couldn’t think like that, you had to be strong, perhaps tapped into your real father’s force, he was a good man, a strong the, brave, and kind, you had to be like him.

You whimpered when you felt your uncle’s hot hand in your belly, making you lean back until your back was against his chest, you tried to look around, but you barely could see cloud at this time at night

“You are shaking”, he purred against your ear, you barely hummed, your clothes had barely dried, but you were freezing

“I’m cold”, you murmured, he chuckled darkly, making you shake some more

“you’d think that you’d ran hot, like a dragon, and then I remember, you are only a bastard”, he mocked, but you didn’t fight him, you didn’t have the strength, you didn’t care anymore

What if your father was Harwin Strong? he had cared for you, he had protected you and guarded you, consoled you when you cried, cared for you when you were sick or when you fell and hit your hands or knees, he had loved you, you could see it in his beautiful eyes, you missed him, and Ser Laenor didn’t care, he loved you too, he accepted you and called you his, you were a Velaryon. And now Daemon, for everyone he was the fearsome devil, the rogue prince, unreadable, unpredictable, merciless, but for you and you siblings? He was your father, who cared for you, guided you, taught you, he was fearless when it came to defend all of you and your mother, he watched over you all and knew how to give you counsel

Perhaps he was jealous, you have had three fathers, and he barely had half of one, your grandfather had been sick for so many years, he couldn’t be a good father for Aemond, you thought

“What happened? a dragon took your tongue?”, it was a sick joke, a single tear fell from your eye at the thought of your baby dragon Karnax.

You named him in honor of the first ever dragon that bonded with Aerion, and together with his flames he forged the city of Old Valyria, and created the greatest empire the world had ever seen.

How silly you had been

Perhaps the gods had taken away your dragon for your boldness, who did you think you were?

Aemond grabbed you by the back of your neck, roughly, grabbing your hairs until you cried out

“I like to be answered when I talk to you, bastard”, he grunted, he pretended like he wanted to drag you off of the saddle, into the air and to your certain death and you squealed, grabbing back at his arm

“No! please!”, you whined, “don’t throw me, don’t kill me!”, you begged him

“Why would I kill my new toy? after all the trouble she make go through to get her”

He didn’t release you, but he let you accommodate back in the saddle with shaky hands, grabbing into the rough leather. Vhagar’s flight was steady, thanks to her huge size, it would be enjoyable, if it weren’t for the circumstances that led you here

“What are you going to do with me?”, you asked in a whisper, he caressed the back of your head and neck, but it wasn’t a soft, loving caress, it was rough, dominant, to show you his power and dominance over you

“I told you what I was going to do to you”

I lied, I’m going to give you my bastard

“Please uncle, you took my dragon, you draw my blood”, you whimpered, “I payed by brother's debt”

For one second to the other, the skies opened up, and you gasped when you could see Dragonstone far in the horizon.

Aemond grabbed you even tighter

“I will say when it’s payed”, he chuckled darkly, and he pushed you over the handles in his saddle

You whined when he pushed you even lower, grabbed you even tighter, the handle hit you right over your belly, preventing you from breathing properly

You coughed, tears falling down your eyes

He had ripped your riding pants, but you still had your upper part, working like a dress, he raised that, exposing your intimacy, which still burned and ached…

“No please.. AH!”, he impaled you on his cock, dragging you back, letting your weight make him ripped you open even more

It was worse than before, your inner walls were sore, and aching, it felt like he was ripping you open

“No more, please uncle”

Vhagar growled under you as he started thrusting into you, over and over, each time it burnt more, your insides were on fire, every thrust you were out of breath, the handle digging under your ribcage, making you whimper

You couldn’t breathe

And the only thing you could see was Dragonstone, right there…

So close, yet so far

Aemond leaned into you, grunting in your ear, dropping wet open mouthed kisses in your neck

“Please”, you begged, “no more”

“I’ll say when is enough”, he grunted, “fuck, you are squeezing me so tight”, you didn’t even know how you were doing, perhaps was the fact that you started feeling dizzy because of all the oxygen you were lacking,a dn that made you clamp down on him.

“please”, you whimpered with the last of your strength, suddenly you didn’t care anymore than your uncle was taking you against your will, the last thing you saw before your eyesight began to tunnel was the stronghold of your family, your own home.

He felt you going slack under his grasp, and that is when he realized you couldn’t breathed, he pulled you back, hugging you tightly against him, and then you managed to get air inside your lungs, gasping greedily

he kept fucking you, as he had you relaxed in his arms, he held you almost tenderly, making sure you wouldn’t fall off the saddle.

Inside his dark mind, it was true, he wouldn’t want to lose you. he didn’t want to kill you, he wanted to keep you

You were what he deserved

You were just a little bastard, a girl, you should be thankful that he, a prince, was even looking at you, adding in the fact that you and your bastards brothers where pretenders to the Iron Throne, he was just doing his duty, to prove to you how wrong you all were.

He grabbed your jaw, making you look up at him, your eyes were misty, out of focus, your sweet mouth was open, taking short breaths, trying to recuperate yourself, meanwhile he was still pounding into you.

He placed a hand over your belly, drawing you even close to him, and that is when he could draw a moan from you, as a tear fell down your eyes

It was too soon to expect you to feel pleasure… hell, he didn't do this for your pleasure

He did it for his own

He felt like you might give in, but you didn’t, more tears fell down, and you whimpered when his cock touched a special spot inside of you, feeling shamed, cold and frightened

“Please uncle”, you whimpered, grabbing into his hands all over your body, “it wasn’t my fault, I’m sorry”

“Would you rather I go after your brother?”, he asked, you shook your head, “then shut up”, he got angry, throwing you in your belly wasn’t an option anymore, he didn’t want you to asphyxiate, so he pounded into you harder and harder, making you cry out.

He closed his eye, concentrating on the sensations, and he had never felt anything like this, he was fucking the girl he always desired, a girl with no power, no nothing, over the biggest and most powerful dragon in the world.

He ruled the skies, and now he had you.

He tried to get to you the right way, he bit his own tongue and put his tail between his legs and asked your whore of a mother to betrothe you two, he didn’t give a shit about uniting the family and fixing the strained bonds

He desired you, he desired you so much it made himself hate you, because he believed that you were not worthy of his love, passion and attention

You were a bastard

Like his mother always taught him, and bastards deserved nothing, to inherit nothing, they were born out of sin, and weakened flesh

Two things he despised

Sin and weakness

So he had tot ake you the way he was entitled too

It didn’t help that he hated your brothers

It was not fair

that they were loved, protected, cared for, after everything they had put him trough, they always got away with it…

So he was going to take it all on you

He would give the entire royal treasury to see those bastard’s faces when they realized what he had done to you, their dear, lovely sister

“It hurt, please, uncle, please stop”, your cried made himrealize how hard he was fucking into you, completely lost in his dark thoughts of revenge and desires

He didn’t want to stop, he grunted and moaned in your ear, he licked the tears of your cheeks, and then, he bit down in your shoulders until he drew blood and you squirmed in his grasp due to the stinging pain

Having you struggling and twisting in his arms, squeezing him like a fist, your little whines and pleas, he cummed inside you, hugging you tightly despite your hands scratching all the skin you could reach, he grunted in your ear filling you with his seed

He was already addicted to you, your unwillingness and your tightness

he made yo u lean in and looked where your bodies were still intertwined, he discovered, with sick pleasure, that his cock was tainted with your blood still

Now you were ruined, for everyone else

He chuckled at the sight and at your lame lie. that you were betrothed to Cregan Stark

Well, not anymore, he thought with satisfaction when he heard your cries and whimpers starting again.

“Please”, you whined, and when he looked ahead he could tell why

Dragonstone stood there in all its might.

He grunted, grabbing the reins of Vhagar and made her turn away, if you got to close, they were going to spot you, and could easily attack

“No! please!”, yo grew desperate when you realized you were not going back to Dragonstone

“You think I was just going to drop you there?”, he whispered in your ear, “no, it is not going to be that easy”

‘Please, you got what you wanted”, you whispered, defeated, grabbing into his hand that was still holding you by your belly

“Not even close”, he whispered darkly, pushing inside your walls again, growing hard only at the thought of your despair

“I want to go home”, you cried

But he didn’t take you home

You arrived at King’s Landing when the sun was rising in the horizon

The Usurper was dragged out of bed, or that is what it looked like when you entered the throne room and Aegon was there, sitting in the Iron Throne lazily, almost snoozing, his clothes where dirty, his hair was in disarray

The sight made you sick

When he saw who you were, he giggled drawing his head back

“My brother, ever the over-achiever, we send you for a stag and you came back with a little dragon”

The doors opened behind him and you looked back to see Queen Alicent and Otto, who looked back at you wide eyed

“What is the meaning of this?”, demanded Otto

All eyes fell on you, you you only played with your hand looking at the ground

You felt Aemond’s seed dripping out of you, you only managed to squeeze your thighs together and swallow a whimper, praying they couldn’t see it. It was probably just a phantom feeling, but you still felt shame and fear.

Aegon was looking at you like you were the most amusing thing he had ever seen

Alicent’s eyes filled with tears, and her mouth twisted in a horrified face

“Aemond…”, she called, it didn’t take a genius to know what had happened between the two, “what did you do?”

“What I did was find a way for the pretender to surrender, without blood being spilled”, he said out loud, to all of them, he grabbed you by the back of your neck and angry tears fell down your eyes, “we have her daughter, is she doesn’t come here and surrender, we are going to feed her to the dragons”

Aegon’s laugh rang all over the room

“You already fucked her, didn’t you?”

“Aegon!”, chided Alicent, Aegon giggled again, but she then looked back at her favorite son, with an incredulous look on his face

“You didn’t, didn’t you?”, she asked, fearful.

They all talked like you weren’t even there, and for a time, you enjoyed being invisible

“What does that matter?”, he asked, manhandling you, moving you by your neck like you were some rag doll, “she is a bastard, you said so yourself”, Alicent covered her mouth, horrified

“I never meant for you”

“What my brother did was great”, sentenced Aegon, “you got us Lord Borros, and you got us some entertainment, well. a hostage but, entertaining nonetheless”, he said raising a cup he held by his hand, “we should hold a feast tonight, for my dear brother”

Otto didn’t know what to say, he kept looking at his grandson, and then at you, not really knowing if this was good or bad, but he liked the initiative of his grandson

“Ser Criston, put her in Rhaenyra’s old chambers”, he commanded, and Ser Criston, who had been standing by the gates, walked towards you and grabbed you from Aemond’s grasp and led you off of the throne room

It was painful to be back into your mother’s chambers, you remembered it from your childhood, and now you were alone and sad

But not for long, as Queen alicent showed up in your chambers

She found you sitting in the edge of the bed, and you didn’t stand up, or do anything, you just sat there, looking at her

“Are you comfortable dear?”, she asked shakily, her hand linked together in front of her, that ever present scowl on her face

“I’m sorry for the loss of the King your grace”, that seemed to kind of break her, a single tear fell from her eye and nodded

“Thank you dearest”, she looked around, you could see that she had trouble to face this, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, you moved uncomfortable, your core aching, you hissed and she seemed to notice

“Aemond… was always smitten with you”, she said faking a smile, and you looked up at her in surprise and disgust

“What?”, she looked away from you and started pacing. A tear fell from your eye when you realized she was just trying to diminished what had happened, in favor of her son

“Aemond was always a driven young man”, she said, with that nerve-wrenching smile

“What will happen to me?”, you asked in a whisper

“We are still debating the best way to proceed”, she said calmly

“Please your grace, Alicent, I want to go home”, you cried, “I want to go to my mother”, you stood up and grabbed her gently, she seemed shaken up by your outburst, “please”, you begged her, but she shook you away

“Prince Aemond will decide what is to do about you”, she said, recuperating her composure

“No! he is going to rape me again”, you cried, she winced at the word

“I’ll have moon tea brought to your chambers”, she said simply, walking to the exit

“PLEASE! I want to go home!”, she closed the door in your face and you went there and slapped your hand on the hardwood, “please!”, you begged but it fell on deaf ears

For better or worse, you were left alone until the night fell over in King’s Landing, you were to busy staring at the horizon, in the direction of where Dragonstone was

Were they thinking of you? Were they missing you?

Did they know something happened to you?

Did they believe you died?

Maids brought you food and wine for you to drink and eat, to replenish your strength, and even though you haven’t eaten anything since lunch the day before, you found yourself so nauseous you couldn’t even have a single bite

You could hear it, all over

There was a feast being celebrated in the Keep, as Aegon promised

A feast to celebrate you being kidnapped, you were a valuable hostage, now they might make your mother surrender.

Would she?

For you?

Would she give up her birthright?

Finally exhaustion got the better of you, and you removed your torn riding gear, to put on the nightshirt the maids had left for you, and you curled up in the bed

You were exhausted, and you managed to fall into a dreamless sleep

Until you were suddenly awake

Greedy hand grabbed you, fondled you, grope you

You whined, fighting between the realms of dreams and reality

“Fuck, you are still dripping”, it was Aemond, as his fingers tried to pry you open for him, you tried to grab his hand, but you were too weak, and still in a haze

“Uncle”

“Mmm yes”, he purred in your ear, as he got rid of your night dress, you knew what it came next, and you hissed when you felt him entering you. He hugged you tightly, obsessively, grunting in your ear as he started pounding into you

It was of no use to make him stop, you just had to endure it, but it still hurt, it still burn as he cock split you open.

In this position it was tighter for him, and for you, you could tell, you just laid on your side as Aemond took from from behind, hugging you against him so you couldn’t move away from him

“You are my little whore now”, he said, you could smell the wine on his breath, “I’m going to breed you, it is only fair, that a bastard births my bastards”

“I don’t deserve this”, you cried, tears soaking the pillow beneath your head, “I didn’t do anything to you please”

“Didn’t you?”, he mocked

“I loved you”, you confessed, “you were my loving uncle, my friend”, you said sadly

“Not anymore”, he mocked, kissing the side of your face, “I bet you hate me now, don’t you?”, you grabbed into him, sobbing

“No”, you cried, and he chuckled, fucking into you rougher, making you cry out

“Oh you don’t hate me?”, he purred, “aren’t you sweet?”

“Please Aemond”, you whimpered, “I don’t want to have a child”, you cried

“Too late for that”, he teased, “You will give birth to my white-haired children”, he teased, biting on your neck

He cummed inside of you that night as well, staying there deep inside you until morning

When he was done with you, he released you hastily, you woke up hissing at how uncomfortable you were.

You didn’t even know if it was possible, but you felt it in your belly still.

He was getting dressed again, looking back at you with appreciation, it was the first time he saw you truly bare for him. You hair messed up, your tired face, your marked skin

But unbeknownst to you, you looked beautiful and delicious to him

Until the door was knocked

Aemond answered for you, and he saw it was a made bringing a small tray, in it, only two things, a small tea cup, and a small pitcher

“What the hell is this?”, he asked, mad out of his mind

“T-the Queen send it, your grace”, she said with a nervous stutter

“I didn't asked who send it, I ask what it is”, he almost bit off her head

“Moon tea, your grace”, you jumped in the bed when you saw Aemond grab the small tray and smashed it against the wall, making you and the maid terribly scared

“get put and if I see you again I’ll flay you alive”

“YES M’LORD”, and she ran out of the chambers, when Aemond turned to you, he find you crying, grabbing into the sheets, covering yourself

“If you drink that filth, you’ll live to regret it”, he threatened, and left the room, with you exhausted and in tears

He erupted in the middle of a meeting of the small council, his grandfather and mother invited him to sit down, his brother wasn’t present, but it was early in the morning, so he didn’t find it strange

“Daeron will marry one of Lord Borros’ daughters, and you will marry your niece”, said Alicent, not looking at his son, but at the table in front of him, she couldn’t stand the sight of this man she hardly knew, “we will send the terms to Rhaenyra, to stop this nonsense of her taking the throne…”

“Why?”, asked Aemond, bored

“Why? because you dishonored her! Rhaenyra…”

“Will do as we told her if she wants to see her daughter again”, he said, “nothing has to change”

Alicent and Otto shared concerned looks

“The first thing to do is to send word to Rhaenyra that we have her, and she is alive, if she thinks otherwise, they could retaliate”

“I will send a raven to Rhaenyra”, muttered Otto

“Aemond saved the princess”, Alicent said, “he saved her from dying in the treacherous waters of shipwreck bay”, Aemond chuckled darkly

“That’s the story we are going with?”, asked mockingly

“Yes!”, snapped his mother, Aemond only shook his head, amused

“So be it”, he mocked

. . .

Rhaenyra watched the Fellwood woman retreat from the room and she whined in pain, Daemon grabbed her softly, hugging her tightly against him to soothe her

“Everything will be alright”, he muttered gently, Rhaenyra only nodded

“Your grace”, her new appointed Queensguard appeared in the war room, “a letter from King’s Landing”

Rhaenrya didn’t dare to receive the letter, but Daemon did, he opened the small scroll rapidly and angrily, and read it carefully, to finally snort

“THOSE CUNTS!”

“What is it?”, Rhaenyra asked

“They have her”, he whispered, and Rhaenyra drew a sigh of relief, until know she didn't really know if her daughter was alive or not, at least she was, “they claimed that one eye cunt saved her from the seas, and took her to safety”, Rhaenyra chuckled darkly, “they are offering to marry them, and offer the same terms of surrender”

“Or?”, she whispered

“It doesn’t say”, he said back, crumpling the paper in his fist, “What if they give us our daughter back, or we kill them all?”, he grunted with greeted teeth, angry tears leaving her eyes

“We need to tell the boys”, warned Rhaenyra, “we need to ask them to see her, to see if she is alright, then we can set something up”

“You are not giving up your birthright”, he sentenced

“I just want to see her”, she whined, “see if she is alright”

“We will teach them what happens when you mess with our family”, grunted Daemon

taglist!

@lightdragonrayne @immyowndefender @aemondswifeisme @twobluejeans @toodlesxcuddles @sassysaxsolo @thearchitectoflove @maidmerrymint @floralsightings @daughterofthemoons-stuff @glendarollitkatharinesanders @ruhjkie @starkjedi @baconturtle @aleemendoza2425-blog @ahristata @dlwlrmas-world @yentroucnagol @hiraethrhapsody @alwaysholymilkshake @marihoneywk @belladonna00 @strangersunghoon @anehkael @t0uch-starved-h0e @hkmultifandom @letmehavemyfictionalmen @belcalis9503 @daddydaemonswife @

#ficreblogs

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bl--ankhaeji · 3 years ago

Text

This made my heart do a lot of things. I think I need a doctor😭.

Friendly favour - L.DH.

In which you're a curious virgin with touch repulsion and a very devoted friend.

genre: fluff, angst, smut, college!au, best friend!Donghyuck, pining

word count: 20.9k

warnings (aka spoilers): touch repulsion, anxiety, daddy issuess, protected sex, loss of virginity, i guess no sub-dom energy, fingering, vaginal penetration, alcohol consumption, and mentions of: sexual abuse, masturbation, asexuality and college struggle; inconsequent narration and my writing skills (that's a serious warning)

taglist: @hyucks-things @count-your-shadows @wownajaemin @riemshyuck @resceluwu @lauraneuuh @tyongpoetry @subhyuck @ukiyolixx @angel-hyuckie @jiye0n0 @readers-posts @junglewoos @nanas-gf @ddontyoumind (I'm sorry, for some reason tumblr won't let me tag you)

a/n: sorry for the delay, i had to edit it twice (since tumblr didn't save it for the first time) therefore the second time it was a bit rushed. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Feedback is welcome (:

You really try to not show how bothered you are with a specific Bridgertons episode playing on the TV. A young girl lying in bed pleasuring herself in a dimmed bedroom, moaning. Her pants echoing in the room, expressions suggestive making you uneasy.

“Yo, do you remember your first orgasm?”

Apparently Donghyuck does not feel awkward at all. He slouches on the other side of the couch looking at you with curious eyes. His words hang in the air causing you to pent up as if getting ready for the conversation your friend starts.

“You’re assuming a lot by asking this question.” Not sure what to do with yourself you decide to just keep nibbling popcorn from a shared bowl.

“Assuming what exactly?”

Your lips are twitching as you hold back the nervous smile. Your eyes are avoiding his, staring at the padded out masturbation scene playing right in front of you.

“Well, first of all, you assume that I've ever orgasmed.” You clear your throat and steady your voice so it sounds strong and confident above moans and gasps coming from the speakers. “Second of all, to orgasm you have to either have sex or masturbate. In case you forgot, I'm not fond of physical contact.”

You indirectly indicate your virginity - you know Donghyck knows, even though it was never really said out loud.You’re not fond of the proximity with others and need wide personal space.

Because of your touch repulsion and Donghyuck’s liking for it, you two had a serious fight at the beginning of your friendship. When you first met at the start of the college, you quickly clicked, enjoying each other's company; talking for hours, fitting into almost every subject even if not agreeing about the topic, both of you ready to dispute.

That’s why naturally affectionate Hyuck freely hugged you a few times and impulsively touched your hand during heated conversation. When your calm cautions weren’t working you snapped, which made him hurt and you unnerved, you two not talking for almost a week before it took Renjun to convince both of you to talk out the miscommunication.

That actually brought you two even closer as you worked out how to balance each other's needs. Hyuck worked on withholding his touch impulse towards you while you learned to accept his affection when he asked to. After a year, Hyuck’s endearment became so familiar that sometimes it was you who came to him for a hug when you felt down, the fact he didn’t make a big deal out of it - as it was natural for him to be touchy with others - made you at ease.

“I admit, I assume that as a twenty year old person not having sex you touch yourself and - for your sake I hope - you are able to make yourself cum. So, do you remember the first time you came?”

You bring your knees closer to your chest, placing feet on the couch. It’s not the first time you talk about sex. Sometimes even you started the convo, being confused and asking Hyuck about intimate stuff you didn’t understand. It never felt personal like this one, though. You could say you didn’t remember but he knows when you lie - he once straight up told you your emotions are written all over your face and he can read you like an open book. If you didn’t reply that would mean you remember but are too chicken to answer.

“I do.” You say too loudly considering the small space, late hour and quiet noises coming from the tv. “Um...I’m going to get more popcorn. Wanna something to drink?” You ask, as if he’s not holding a bottle of water in his grip.

“Why are you dodging the question?”

“I do not. I already told you I do remember. That’s what you asked about.”

He frowns. “But I want you to tell me how was it.”

“Why?” you whine.

“Because I'm a curious creature.”

“But it’s embarrassing”

“It’s not. Masturbation is normal. I jack off too. Besides we talked about stuff like that earlier and you were fine with it.”

You make a sound to let out your awkwardness and frustration with Hyuck’s insight.

“It’s embarrassing for me as a personal experience, not a discussion topic.”

“Oh, now I’m intrigued. Tell me, please”

“No. I wanna treat my eyes with those absurd costumes so let it go.”

“Y/n.” He whines. “It can’t be worse than my first orgasm.”

You glance at him, suddenly you liking where this was going.

“You’ve never told me so I can't tell whether it was worse or not.”

Poor boy doesn't even hesitate.

“I jacked off after school because I popped a boner when a girl I had a crush on sat on my lap. It was the first time and I was so shocked when I saw how far my sperm shot. And then my mom came with the laundry”

“Oh.” Your eyes are wide open, you turn to the screen to hide your warm cheeks. “That’s interesting. Now that I know I can tell that mine truly wasn’t that bad. Thanks for the info though.” And just like that you put popcorn into your mouth.

“Hey! Now it’s your turn.”

“My turn on what?”

“Tell me about your first orgasm. I told you about mine”

“But we never discussed story exchange. You told me yours willingly for free.”

“Yeah, but… I thought…” He stutters. “Couldn't you just…” The boy falls back blue into his end of the couch. “Why are you like this?” he mutters.

There’s a shadow of betrayal in his voice so you risk a glance in his direction. He’s sprawled on the long couch (which he dragged to the flat specially for your personal space liking and got scolded by his roommate Johnny for cluttering the space) with a frown on his face, eyesight absently laid on the screen. Sight of the kicked puppy presented to you as evidence of hurt.

You sigh defeated.

“I came with one touch.”

“You what?”

“You wanna hear it or not?” Your confidence wavering slightly nonetheless you continue as he gives you an attentive look waiting for you to keep going. “I guess it was at the beginning of high school. I remember lying in my bed ready to sleep but I couldn't because I was really pent up and didn't know why and I heard that women masturbate too but back then it was weird for me and I didn't want to… touch myself down there. But it felt nice when I touched my thighs and abdomen and when I actually… you know.” He nods and you avert your eyes embarrassed. “I came right away.”

He processes your words for a moment before speaking up.

“How did you know that was it?” He asks with furrowed brows. “Like it’s easy for guys because you have visible evidence but how did you know what you felt was an orgasm?” Mother and daughter, the boy has more questions. “Well,” you take a deep breath. “I was confused at first. Really confused. It was literally electrifying and I know it sounds corny but that’s exactly how it felt. Like you know how fresh and ozon smelly the atmosphere is after the rainstorm? Like the air feels lighter and cooler? That’s how I felt. Am I too descriptive now? Stop me if I'm talking too much.” He shakes his head. “Okay... So when I touched myself again it hurt and then I was even more puzzled. It took me a few minutes to figure out that I must have came.”

Your friend looks lost in his thoughts. Although it’s not rare between you two you just shared a very intimate experience with him and feel slightly anxious about the prolonged quietness he’s giving you.

“Say something.” Donghyuck takes a long sip from the bottle he’s holding and then puts it back on the coffee table next to the couch. He makes himself comfortable, resting his back on the armrest to face you.

“So. I know it might be silly question but I’m not a sex spec either, especially when it comes to the women poit of view. But. Isn’t it usually and i’m saying usually because i don’t know for sure and i’m trying to get to know now and now when i think about it it’s rather a one time thing to know it so it’s not really measurable. And it probably depends also on the size of the thing but my point is that you said you came with one touch but I thought that it’s painful when you put something bigger than a tampon in your vagina for the first time and I'm confused right now.”

“I don’t know.” You cover your face with your palms, hiding blush from your friend when you realize how detailed this convo is. “I’ve never put anything there. I don’t use tampons. And when I said I touched myself once and came I didn't mean inside just… ugh…”

“Your clit.”

“Yeah.”

“So since that time you get off only by playing with your clit?” He asks surprised.

You groan embarrassed but don't deny nor correct and at that his back straightens up as he moves his arms onto his lap, fidgeting.

“You’ve never had anything inside your vagina like ever?” Donghyuck clears his throat and you just wanna leave the room to go find a ditch you could crawl yourself into. “I’ve basically just said that. Do you need a detailed description of how I masturbate?”

“Well, you gave me quite a pretty description of how your first orgasm felt. It doesn't hurt to ask.” You groan but feel slight relief when Donghyuck stays quiet after that. You turn your attention back to the screen in hopes of getting a grip of what's happening in the plot.

“Have you though…” Hyuck probs cautiously. Apparently the conversation hasn’t ended for him and it still had quite a potential to use up. “I’m sorry for this question and you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want to.”

“Just this one?”

“Have you ever considered opting to have sex with anyone?”

“That’s a peculiar way of wording it, Donghyuck” You furrow your brows, tightening your hold on the bowl. “Why do you even ask? I thought you understand - at least partially - that I’m not physically able to do that, that's once. Second, It would have to be someone who I trust or at least like enough to want to… spend the required time with them. And with my social skills you know that might be a problem too.”

“That's doable though.”

You look at him unamused. “Not sure if I wanna hear the rest of this idea.”

"I'm just saying I think you're capable of making close relationships with people and being okay with people touching you,” he explains kindly.

"Hyuck…" you sigh. “What's your point?" Why the hell was he so persistent on proving you wrong?

"I just think you're a precious human being who deserves to feel loved.”

“You do know that people have different love languages, right? Like quality time or acts of service.

“Yeah. I am reminded of those every time I'm with you.

You frown at that "Quit fake flirting, Hyuck.”

“But I wanna know.” He wines, drawing slightly closer to you but still staying on his side of the couch. “I wanna understand. I get you don’t like physicall contact but it’s generally not only sexualy though so that doesn’t make you asexual, does it? Like we established that you masturbate so you feel sexual desire. Do you feel attraction towards other people? And like... what is going on inside your head?”

You exhale slightly irked with his proning. “If i admit I’m intrested in sex but not able to do it will you let it go finally?"

“Not really,” he says mildly. “I wanna understand you so I can be a better friend”

“But I feel like a research object” you curl up under the blanket hugging your knees.

You feel examined and even though it bothers you to some point, you’re curious just like Hyuck and the longer you think about it he’s the person you feel most at ease with. You do wonder about sex as it’s a closed book to you that you’re not able to read on your own. And you know your best friend has at least the basic experience. What’s more he never bragged about his sexlife, he was just casual about it - considering sex as a human thing. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to carry on this conversation?

You take a deep breath. “I do feel sexual desire and I do feel physical repulsion. It’s hard to get past it. Also usually I am not fond of people.”

“That I noticed when you bark at randoms who barely did you any harm.”

“Not funny. Anyway when it comes to feeling atracted to people I know when I see someone pretty but it does not mean i think about having sex with them. I guess my sexual needs are mostly impersonal.”

“That’s pretty much reasonable. So like you get horny when you see sex scene but you don’t get aroused at the sexual though of particular person?

“You could say so.”

“I could say so?” His eyebrows high above his eyes. He knows you’re not telling him everything but won’t question it. “I’m asking again just to be sure: If you were able to, you’d like to know how the real sex feels like, right?”

Your face is absolutely red when you weakly answer “Yes… But I’m not expecting it happening anytime soon and i doubt anyone would like to have sex with me in my thirties when my body will start to wrinkle so i’m kind of accepting living till death as a curious virgin.”

“I might have a solution to that.”

You look at him thrown-off.

“As I already said you’re able to do it. Just think about it. You don't have a problem with my touching - well, at least most of the time - and we’re best friends." his voice showing slight hesitation in the last words.

Your mouth feels dry and your head feels hot and whatever sound comes out of your mouth is undefinable. “Are you proposing me a sexual service or just stating facts trying to prove that the problem exists only in my head?”

He scoffs at your words. “I’m gonna interpret your rudeness as liking in peculiar foreplay.”

You both give each other attentive looks.

“Don’t make it weird.”

“I’m making it weird?” You ask in disbelief.

“I just wanna say that if you would wanna know what it feels like and if you trust me enough to touch you in that way, all you have to do is ask.” he says and his voice is sincere, not mocking, not even playful. It leaves you dumbfounded and he turns to the tv changing the subject.

***

It takes you a week to make up your mind. You do a list of pros and cons then shred it thinking it’s useless. This repeats three times. Meanwhile you attend your classes as usual, meeting with your friends between periods. This included Donghyuck, who acts as if nothing happened, which makes you feel like you’ve dreamed about this whole abstract-like midnight discussion. He greets you as always, talks to you as casually as ever and keeps his physical affection with you at the same level which meant always asking for permission for a hug and being cautious to not touch your bare skin when it wasn’t necessary.

That's why you throw out the first list, thinking his offer never had a place.

Two days after that night, you are having lunch with people from your group project who give fallacious ideas and reject yours without even seriously considering them. Fed up, you end up just sitting at the side doing notes while chewing on your food.

“What’s up” you hear Hyuck’s voice right before he’s not so gracefully placed on the chair in front of you.

“Hi. I’m busy” you growl and put another spoon of noodles in your mouth.

“Y/n. Didn’t I tell you that barking at people doesn’t make you seem like an approachable person?” He nags playfully, making you choke on your food.

Oh. So he remembers.

You take a moment to breathe and use it to get a grip of yourself.

“It was in the context of strangers, though. I didn’t know I needed to pretend I’m nice around my friends too.”

“Don’t limit yourself, y/n. Think out of the box.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to but you’re covering my notes, you wing sacher. Don’t you have classes right now?” you know he does. “I do." He glances at the watch on his wrist. “But I was passing by and saw you sitting here alone sulking and decided to say hi and ask for a daily fix of affection from you. High five?”

You put your hand flat on his not making it clap and hold it for a second. He smiles, when you don’t cringe as you usually do.

“Have a nice day, y/n.”

“You too, Hyuck.”

When he leaves the hall you pull out a sheet of paper and write the second version of your pros and cons list.

Another three days pass and you are being more and more convinced that you wanna take up on Hyuck’s offer. Also, your ovulation being right around the corner made you unbelievably horny.

You are in the middle of your art classes, standing in front of your easel, naked model facing the wall. Sketching the nude on your paper sheet you think His back is nice. The proportions are so symmetrical and the bright light makes it cast dark shadows emphasizing the muscles. It looks fine. Wonder if Hyuck has nice shoulder blades.

Your mind is silent for a moment.

Oh crap. Did I really think that?

Later that day you meet with your friends at Johnny and Hyuck’s place.

As usually on a wednesday evening you gather at your themed meeting. Every week one of you comes up with a word which becomes a subject for the next gathering. It could be whatever comes to your mind. Poppy. Vienna. Or Misanthropy. It was a key word which meant that for next wednesday everyone had to prepare cultural references but if it felt too indirect or you doubled with someone you were out, the rest of the group made you do some kind of dare. The winner of the game - which was a person who lasted till the end - was the one who picked the theme for the next week.

And even though usually you had lots of fun, today you were distracted ever since Hyuck greeted you in a hallway with a permitted hug. You place your arms around him, feeling his taut back muscles. Oh shit. You clench your fists feeling awkward with laying them flat on his body.

“You okay?” He steps away feeling you tense.

“Perfectly fine”

But you’re not even close to fine. The seed Donghyuck left in your head almost a week ago is growing and it’s making you go insane. After the fourth time he catches you staring at him you start to avoid his eyes at all cost which seems even more unnatural. Everyone, except you, is surprised when you lose the game in the third row.

“Looks like we get to know your weak spot, y/n.” You hear Jaemin say and get all hot at the thought he might have noticed you gazing in Hyuck’s direction. “You suck at geography. Especially it’s not hard to find info about Monaco, you know”

“Oh, no.” You exhale relieved. “You misunderstood my intention. I win so often I decided to back away this time so you’d have a chance to not be the last at least once.”

“Sure.” Jaemin gives you a grumpy look. “I dare you to not make a sound, starting from now on.” That's how you’re doomed to spend the rest of the evening in the corner, silently following the game, yet your eyes way too often dart to Donghyuck’s frame, espying his movements. The way his neck moves when he speaks, the natural movement of his chest sinking slightly when he sits, his fingers playing with the hem of the sleeve. The curious look with wide eyes and raised eyebrow that he sends your way.

You blush and your heart drops, heavy with realization that you’re indeed attracted to your best friend.

***

Next day, you head back home after your classes finish, taking your usual way passing by Hyuck’s place. >Hi. u home? (3:43 p.m.)

Lee Donghyuck >> Yup. y? (3:45 p.m.)

>Can i pop in? (3:45 p.m.)

> it won’t take long. Just a sec (3:45 p.m.)

Lee Donghyuck >> door’s open ;) (3:46 p.m.)

You knock on the front door to announce your arrival. When you open it you’re met with Renjun sitting on the couch.

“Oh. Hi.” you say baffled.

“Hello, y/n. How are you?”

“Fine. What are you doing here?”

“Math project,” he sighs, motioning to the notes scattered on the table. “At least I’m trying to.”

“Oh, that one for the contest?” You remember Donghyuck mentionig it last week. Their professor chose Donghyuck and Renjun to take part in a contest in which the winning team was provided an internship.

“Yeah but it’s so complicated,” he whines. “Like I don’t even know if the meta-system is still math.”

“There are people who say the universe is math and math is the universe,” you point out.

There's a loud noise when Donghyuck appears in the kitchen door frame. “Welcome, my dear.” He smiles at your furrowed brows and Renjun’s gagging sound.

“You could have told me you're busy. I can come another time.” “But you said it’ll be quick and it sounded urgent. I didn’t think you’d mind Renjun.”

You look up at him troubled. “Well, I don’t though I wanted to talk about... stuff.”

He knits his eyebrows clearly confused but before you can retreat he directs you to his bedroom. “Food is on the counter, Renjun. Give us a moment” he says before closing the door.

“What’s up?” He rests his butt on the little space he found on his desk and since the chair is occupied with clothes, he offers you a seat on his bed

You clear your throat ignoring his pointing arm. “It's about Friday.”

“Like tomorrow?”

“No. Like a week ago.”

“Oh.” He smirks. “This explains why you need another room.”

“Donghyuk.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be good from now on,” he promises, hiding his smile.

“Thank you.” you take a breath. “So I was thinking about your…proposition. ”

“I’m listening.” Donghyuk looks back at you expectantly, as you stay quiet gathering your courage. He straightens up. “Remember that I'm the one who made the suggestion and I won't judge you whether you accept it or turn it down.”

“I wanted to ask you…” you start cautiously. “You offered to have sex with me. And I understand this is a friendly favour, but if we decide to actually do it, I would like to know if you... would actually enjoy it.”

He’s avoiding your eyes with a blush on his face. Mother and daughter, this is awkward. He stays quiet and you bite your lip, getting more and more anxious.

“I would.” “You sure? You can be honest on this one. I don’t want you to pull the wool over my eyes.”

“I know what I’m saying” he states.

“You can also call it off if you changed your mind.”

He lets out an exaggerated gasp. “Excuse me, I feel committed to fulfill my proposal.”

“That’s what I mean. I don’t want you to feel obligated. To anything” you explain.

“I won’t feel obligated as long as you won’t be awkward and uncomfortable about it.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” You force yourself to shrug, hoping it looks nonchalantly.

“Then I don’t feel obligated.”

“Great.” You clear your throat. “Are you free on saturday then?”

His brows raise high to his hairline. “That’s in two days.”

“Is it too soon?” You hesitate. “I’m sorry, you might have plans already...”

“I’m free on saturday.” He gives you a wary look. ”Are you sure though? You don’t have to take up on an offer now. It doesn't have an expiration date.”

“I thought this through.” You nod assuredly. “Now that we established that we’re doing the deed we need to set the details.”

At that Donghyuck smiles incredulous. “Of course you have it planned.”

You ignore him, used to his teasing.

“Are you okay with doing it at my place? My roommate usually leaves for the weekend.” You nibble on your lip trying to not look around the room and ignore empty red-bull cans covering his desk, clothes draped over furniture, books and notebooks piled up on the shelves, windowsill and floor. Donghyuck's room is a five-star mess. “And I don’t want to intrude.”

He licks his lip, thinking. “I'd rather do it here if you don't mind. I have a bigger bed.”

“We need that much space?” Your face is hot and you know your cheeks are probably crimson red.

“Well, you never really know,” he shrugs. "It will be more comfortable, for sure." “And I can ask Johnny to have a place for ourselves.”

“I don’t want to make a big deal out of it though.”

“Don’t worry about it. He asked me that many times and I won’t give him any details. Is this set then?”

“Okay.” you say quietly and then repeat more clearly. “Okay. I need to work on my sculpture on Saturday too, so is it okay if I come around five?”

“I’ll make dinner then.” “Oh. So you wanna hang out before we get to the point?”

“We’re definitely hanging out first.” He says slightly taken aback. “First of all you'll need to eat after a day in the atelier. And I know you’re probably planning it in your head already but I want you to let me take care of it okay?”

“But I need to know,” you whine. You hate surprises. You have everything planned anything unexpected isn’t welcome in your schedule

“Isn’t it enough that you know I prepare something? Believe me that planning out the hook up point by point kills the mood.”

You grump but don’t question it. “FINE. Just remember I don't like mushrooms and seafood.”

“Wow,” he exclaims. “You really expect me to flex.”

“Duh. And one last thing. Could you … ugh. Take care of… protection? I’d do that but I have no idea which condoms…” “I’ve got this.” His voice is mild and slightly hurt, matching the solemn look on his face. “You don’t need to handle every detail. I promise I’ll do my best.”

“That's not it.” You quickly shake your head at the misunderstanding. ”I trust you. I just don’t wanna mess up my part.”

He sighs deeply. “You won't, okay? There’re no expectations of you so there’s no way you could not leave up to something that doesn’t exist.”

You smile softly at this caring side of Hyuck, not aware of the mood killer he's about to throw on you.

“Y/n”

“Hmm?”

“Is there anything specific you wanna try out?”

You gasp outraged. So that would be it when it comes to serious Donghyuck.

“You're literally the one who told me not to plan everything.”

“So you did think about it.” He grins smugly “Does my naked body look good in your imagination?”

"I'm leaving,” you huff, opening the bedroom door.

“Took you long enough,” Renjun says to the two of you. “Food is on the counter” he mocks Donghyuck. “Give us a moment.”

You look apologetically at him, heading to the front door. "You know how long it takes to deal with a baby."

"You might wanna call me that on saturday.”

"What's on saturday?” you hear Renjun’s voice, muffled by the food he's chewing.

Hyuck winks at you. "Kinder party for best babes only.”

You snort and roll your eyes, while putting on your shoes.

When the door closes behind you, Donghyuck turns to his friend.

“Dude.”

“What?”

“Can you dance?”

Renjun raises his brows not looking up from the notes. “For my and your sake - I don’t.”

***

You have been in the atelier since the morning, working on your midterm sculpture. Although trying hard, the work you’ve been doing so far was rubbish.

You’re a mess, mindlessly dragging fingers through moldable dirt. Chest heavy with guilt, mind obscured with doubt, mouth full of curse words directed at your phone. The damn phone call. Stupid, frickin stupid.

And the text Dongyuck sends you makes you let out a helpless sob.

Lee Donghyuck >> Can u wear a dress tonight? pretty please👉👈 (3:58 p.m.)

A shaky breath leaves you and you just stare, a sense of obligation landing hard on you when all you long for at the moment is comfort.

Lee Donghyuck >> I know it’s out of blue. It doesn’t have to be formal. The most comfortable dress you have will do great as long as it’s a dress (4:05 p.m.)

Lee Donghyuck >> And if you have dirty thoughts about it stop it immediately! It’s for pre-dirty time actually ;) (4:06 p.m.)

You numbly dial his number and he answers right after the first signal.

“Yo. I’m sorry I kind of surprised you with the dress, especially at this hour. But like i said it doesn’t have to be fancy. Actually I'd rather not have it fancy at all. “ You hear him shuffling something in the background.”I’m gonna spoil that I'm wearing a jumper so imagine how the simple dress would fit perfectly. Oh no, don’t break down now” He whines. “Anyway, why are you calling? I thought you’d be getting ready at this hour.”

You clear your throat. “I’m still in the atelier”

“Oh.” He gives you a surprised sound. “So you're not coming back to your place before you come here?

“I was planning to. Something just came up and I'm a bit delayed.” you say leaning your forehead against the cool wall. “ I’ll try to be on time though”

“It’s fine, just text me on your way so I'll heat up the food. Are you okay though? You sound upset.”

Maybe the call wasn't the best idea.

“I’m just a little tired. No big deal.” you assure, trying to steady your voice.

There’s a long silence on the line and you know Donghyuk is sensing your mood. You anxiously scrub out the dry clay from underneath your nails. “We can cancel today if you don’t feel like doing it” He states. And you close your eyes because at the moment you don’t feel like doing it at all. Yet you think about the fuss you made about the whole thing. Hyuck's planning and preparations - something he never really does. Even the fact he basically threw Johnny out of his own flat. Backing off now would be a dick move.

“No. I want to do it.”

“Shut it, y/n. I don’t need to look at you to know you’re not okay. Whatever pressure you feel to have sex right now is absurd. Let’s call it off.”

“But you’ve prepared. I‘m not standing you up.” Donghyuck can be an ass. At the same time he’s also the most devoted and caring friend you ever had and you won’t disregard his effort just because he puts your needs over his own.

“I didn’t say we’re not hanging out. We’re just skipping the sex part. I’ve spent three hours browsing the net for the perfect recipe, you picky eater. I’m not throwing it away. That’s unethical.”

“Indeed, utterly unacceptable.”

“I’m glad we’re one the same page now. Just come over.”

“Is the dress still required though?”

It takes him a while to answer. “It’s not. Just wear what you’re most comfortable with. Except your sculpting pants. I don’t wanna clean the carpet out of clay or plaster again”

“You know it’s weird how you claimed the dress is not part of the dirty stuff yet it gets canceled collectively.”

“Shady, isn’t it? Remember to text beforehand.”

“I will. And Hyuck?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I messed up”

“What do you mean? As far as I’m concerned we’re still having a pleasant evening today.”

“Right.” You smile. “See you soon.”

***

“This is literally the healthiest food you’ve ever cooked.” You point out before stuffing the pasta in your mouth.

“Duh. The amount of tags I excluded is unbelievable. No mushrooms. No seafood. No fish. No olives. No eggplant. No meat. No beans and stuff. No heavy food.”

“You’ve made pasta, though”

“It’s not just pasta! Those are zoodles. To be more specific it’s called grilled ratatouille linguini and it took hella lot of time to prepare.”

And turns out it was kind of wasted. You clear your throat awkwardly. “Is this all you've been doing all day?”

“I mean I tried to work on a project. Renjun left me some work to do. But we’re stuck” he slurps a zoodle between his mouth. “So bad Renjun doesn’t even believe we could actually win, but we put too much work into it already. And this idea we have has so much potential, even the professor said so, it’s like disgrace to waste it. “Can’t you ask the professor for help?” you suggest. “Like not for a solution but maybe for a tip?”

He shakes his head and swallows the food. “We didn’t really want to do that but we were desperate so we did and he sent us back to the library for references. Renujn was upset because he thought he didn’t want to help but in my opinion he didn’t know the direct answer either. Like he’s usually pretty chill so I guess he’d tell us straight up if he could help.” He shrugs.

“You two need help in the library? I could help if you need extra eyes.”

“Sure.” He sends you a very doubtful look. “I appreciate it but I can barely understand what I’m reading while having at least basic knowledge in the meta-system.“ He sets aside his plate on the coffee table and leans back on the couch. “Besides, you have your own work. How is your sculpture by the way?”

“It’s okay,” you murmur. “Not really the way i want it but I’m working on it” you scrub mindlessly in your bowl. “It’s just a reproduction exercise so it has to be perfect and the longer you work on it the more shortcomings you see and the less imbued it appears. Usually working on a real life model allows you more creativity.”

He hums looking at you attentively. “How come you’ve never asked me to pose for you?”

“Guess it just never came up” you shrug. “Now it does.”

“You want me to draw you right now?”

He nods “Why not?”

“I don’t have my sketchbook.”

He raises his eyebrows at your weak excuse.

“You left one here two weeks ago and it’s collecting dust on my desk.”

“Oh. Glad I’ve finally found it.” you say cheerlessly, picking your plate.

“You found it?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, not having strength to keep up with the joking tone. “I’m not in the artsy mood, though.”

“Why is that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I won’t push you if you don’t want to talk about it but just know that i can be serious for a moment if you need me to”

“Oh.” you act like you just remembered a very obvious thing. “You wanna explain the dress right?”

“That's not what I said. And why are you so hung up on it?”

“I’m curious. You planned something - for you it’s equivalent to… I don't know what but for sure something big.” He shakes his head. “And I know I'm the one who ruined it.”

“You didn't ruin anything.”

“It’s rude to interrupt,“ you nag him. “Anyway it won’t be a surprise, so can you just tell me? Pretty please?”

“Not really. I could still use it later on.” he resists.

You’re confused for a moment “On what?”

He gets flustered at your surprised reaction.

“Oh.” he says slowly. “I mean I thought…. maybe i shouldn't assume that… but i thought that we’re only rescheduling today.”

“So you still want to have sex with me?” “Why wouldn't I?” He asks just as surprised as you. “I mean only if you’re still up to it.” he adds tentatively and then clears his throat, leaving the subjects hanging in the air. “Anyway we could make a deal. I can explain the dress in exchange for your mood killer.”

“You said you won’t push” you complain.

“I’m not. I’m offering a deal. Feel free to dismiss it.” he ensures, grabbing from you an empty plate and gets up from the couch.

“What a tease” you huff under your nose and follow him to the kitchen.

“Oh girl, if only you knew”

"Eww."

“You're ewwing me now? At one mild sexual innuendo?” his eyes widen in disbelief.

You ignore him, hopping onto the counter next to the sink.

“Okay, deal. What was the dress for?”

He laughs and for a moment you fall for it’s sincerence. He puts the washed plate on a washer-dryer and starts to scrub the greasy pan. “I’m not gonna let you trick me again. You go first and then I'll tell you the purpose of the dress.” “But you probably expect me to tell you something interesting and thrilly but it’s not,” you sulk.

“Dress isn't exciting either,” he heads up making you roll your eyes at his stubbornness.

You grab a washcloth, trying to busy yourself with something

"My dad called me today."

“And you were upset? Isn't that a good thing though? ” He inquires, still semi focused on the dishes.

“The whole phone call was absurd. Like it already started badly. My phone screwed up and didn't show my fathers name when he called. I didn't know who's that so when I asked who's calling he got all offended claiming I don't respect him.”

"You didn't recognize his voice?"

You shrug in an attempt to hide how much it actually bothers you. "He was drunk."

You glimpse at Donghyuck to catch his reaction. His face doesn't show anything and he isn’t speaking up either.

“Either you’re asking me something or we’re moving on because I'm not gonna dwell on the subject if you don’t have any interest in it.”

“I’m just trying to be considerate.”

“That’s new.” It’s not, but he lets it pass, used to your harshness in your defending mode. Sure, Hyuck teases the fair amount out of you and your friends but he knows when the conversation is serious and always acts respectful, knowing someone might get hurt.

“Was he right though? I mean you rarely talk about your father and I can't tell how you feel about him.”

“I don’t know myself. I know I should respect him, but I've witnessed too many situations ripping humans off of respect and ninety percent of those moments he was drunk. Then he straight up asks me this question in this exact state and says I know you don’t respect me. I don’t know why, and it sounds like it’s entirely my fault.”

“But why did he call in the first place?”

“To discuss the transport of my painting. You know, that big one.” You pause, reminded of the self doubt you felt a few hours ago. “He asked if it’s necessary. If I really need this since I won't do anything with it ever again and it’s not worth the fuss.”

“Just to make sure - we’re talking about the one for the exhibition?” You nod. “Maybe he didn’t mean that? As you said he was drunk”

You remember all those moments when you tried so hard to prove your father wrong every time you did something for him hoping for appreciation or waited for him to approve your accomplishment. To make him regret all the harsh words that shrinked your self confidence toward insecurity. All your plans are a failure. Nothing you do is decent. You ought to do something useful for once. You are bad mannered. Don't be so loud. And then you contrast it with him stumbling from the stairs, breaking dishes with uncoordinated moves, struggling to find restrooms, puffy red face, body stinking of digested alcohol, the stench filling up the room. Sometimes everyday. Sometimes a few times a week. Rarely once a few months. Making you wary of the look of your dad holding a beer, hoping it’s just this one, being anxious about asking friends to come over and panicking when family members were close by, even though your mom and sister were around no one felt like there’s a need to handle the situation and stop your dad from embarrassment and judgment.

“He does that when he's sober too.” You shrug. “I don’t even know why it upset me so much. I should get over it at this point.” The dishes are forgotten, piled up on the washer dryer. You just sit on the counter with a slouched back and blank stare. “ I don’t know, maybe I hope like a fool he’d be proud of me at some point.”

You stay quiet on how alone and doubtful you feel after talks with your dad, not letting Donghyuck know any of that.

“Just because your father doesn’t tell you he’s proud of you doesn't mean he’s not. Maybe he’s just bad at expressing it.” he suggests, wiping his hands.

“Nah, he can be very expressive when he needs to.” I hope the next child won't be born with a personality like yours. “I just miss him from the time when I was a little kid. When he was fun to be around. God, I feel like shit for slagging about my father like that.”

“You know that not everything he says is true right? Just now you’ve felt sorry for bad-mouthing your dad, but honestly there are a lot of people complaining about their parents but not really feeling bad about it. It's not easy to show respect to people who drag you down when they are supposed to support you.” he’s leaning on the counter opposite of you and for once you wish he was closer.

You wonder if it would be okay to ask for a hug. For the firm embrace, giving a sense of stability, so different from the playful hugs he tends to throw around. The one you’d come for with a tail between your legs seeking his affection.

You say nothing, not wanting him to pity you.

"I don't wanna be supported by default though. I want to earn it. It's like you won’t bet on a horse who's got no chance to win. Even if it's your own. You actually might not buy it in the first place… ” You pause. ”Am I a bad horse?"

"No. Some people are just bad gamblers." His voice is tender and it strikes you how sympathizing it sounds.

“The dress” you change the subject.

Your friend looks sorry for a mment, before shaking it off. He turns around exiting the kitchen and you follow him to the living room. “Hey, you promise…”

He interrupts you, noisily moving the enormous couch to the side of the room.

“What are you doing?” you ask, a little taken aback.

“Well” Donghyuck sighs from effort and pushes back the hair that fell into his eyes. “I thought... “ he grabs his phone from the coffee table and connects it with the speakers. “... that if the surprise won’t be surprising anymore as the reason for someone’s stubbornness and curiosity I might as well show you? If you don’t like it we could watch a movie later since i didn’t really plan anything else”

“Okay.” Your barely audible voice gets drowned out with the soft music. Realization hits you the moment you hear fancy tunes of trumpets and oboe.

“You did not” you gasp in disbelief.

“May I ask for this dance?” he approaches you and bows slightly, offering a hand.

“But like…. How do you know how to dance a viennese waltz?” He gives you a stern look so you obediently accept his hand.

“The orchestra won’t play for us forever. You shall make up your mind a little faster.” He moves an arm on your shoulder blade and the left hand to support your right, moving his feet to the fast rhythm.

“How did you know?”

“I might have eavesdropped once you told Renjun how you’d like to dance to Shostakovitch one day. Found it peculiar because: one, didn’t think you were such a helpless romantic” you open your mouth to argue “U-um. It’s rude to interrupt. And secondly to obvious closeness. But I thought that if you were okay with even more intimacy required to have sex with me then you’d most likely be okay with dancing. At least I hoped so.” he ends sheepishly.

You look at the now shy boy who’s scanning the room to make sure not to bump into any furniture, leading you on the floor, holding you steady in his arms but making you feel like you’re floating.

“I am very okay with dancing with you” you smile and squeeze his hand to affirm your words. “Do you have a tuxedo hidden in the closet too?”

“What a spoiled woman!” he exclaims jokingly, addressing your teasing and then swirls you around. When you look up in his face again he’s already ogling at you with a smile. “I didn’t want to make it too sophisticated. Like I said, jumper and plain dress.”

“Yeah, but jumper and jumper would work just fine.”

At some point you don’t even focus on your steps getting so used to the moves of the dance you feel like flowing with music. Being led by Donghyuck was a little uncoordinated at first, now it feels like your bodies are molding into each, both your arms being extensions of the other. The longer you two dance the more at ease you two become and you find him looking at you more often than around the room. Dance so easy and enjoyable you keep going dance after dance till the playlist full of Strauss and Chopin waltzes interlaced with some modern composers gets more mellow tones and your silhouettes let go of the pent up and proper posture. You allow yourself to get lost in solemn music, his smooth movements, comforting embrace.

He brought your intertwined fingers close to your bodies as his extended arm started to feel numb long ago and you lay your head on his shoulder to relieve your strained neck. Whatever you dance right now, looks nothing like the fancy waltz you started with, yet is just as - if not more - pleasant.

“Did I tire you out?” he teases mildly.

“No” you yawn, negating your own words.

He gently tries to back off.

“Just one more composition, please. It's so nice.” you plead mumbling into the soft fabric of his shirt. You're so relaxed and comforted, feeling all fuzzy with his strong arms embracing you, not really wary of his answer. So grateful for him just being, you'd be happy even if he told you he had enough of dancing. “The last one I promise.”

He stays as you ask, tightening his grip back on you. “You're the best Hyuck.” So thoughtful and caring. You wonder when and where did he learn to dance and if it was especially for you.

He really strived his best to make the evening special but not ripping you off comfort and homely ambience. You take a deep breath, filling comfy anchored to Hyuck’s side. His solid arm muscles under your fingers, familiar scent filling your nostrils.

You look up at him to check on his mood. Is he tired? Bored? You search his face for any wrong signs but you find nothing, just pensive eyes. You let your head back down on his shoulder and give yourself a moment to gather up the courage. “Hyuck”

He hums to let you know you’ve got his attention and keeps swaying to the soft music.

“So...” you start tentatively with a quiet voice “... does your offer still stand?”

You feel him tense for a moment but it’s so quick you wouldn’t catch it if your bodies weren’t molded.

“Yeah,” he nods subtly. “But it’s a long term proposal. Just because I offered it now doesn’t mean you need to accept it this week, month or year.” He’s quiet for a moment and then ads with a faint voice. ”And I’m sorry if by suggesting it I made you feel like your pushed to ever have sex with anyone. I just thought…. I don’t know… That maybe...”

He stops feeling you shake your head and then you squeeze his fingers reassuringly.

“I do want to have sex. With you.” You can tell your face is tomato red by how hot you feel, your heartbeat mirroring his racing one.

“Oh.” By the tone of his voice you know he’s smiling. “So you say I seduced you.”

“Duh. No one with a sane mind would want you. Only tricks work for you.”

He just grins, thinking the conversation is over but for you it’s not. You look into his brown eyes to ensure yourself in what you’re about to say.

“I want to have sex with you.”

“I know, I heard that.”

“I want it tonight.”

He stopped dancing and now you just stand in the middle of the room. He looks at you, quiet for more than a while.

“I don’t know what to do with this information.”

“Well, I think that’s pretty obvious,” you say, slightly wounded by his response. “What exactly is unclear to you?”

“I feel like I coaxed you.”

“I’m not that easy to manipulate, you know” you puff. “Stop it, Hyuck. We already established that I am sure and that I made this decision on my own and that I thought this through. We were about to have sex anyway tonight. So what happened?” You try to step away but he holds you tightly by his side. “Just a moment ago you said the offer is still on the table and now you don’t know what to do? Why are you so misleading, confusing, twisted, chaotic…

“Kiss me then” he says, but the bold tone is far from the soft looks he was giving you seconds ago. His eyes are examining, daring.

You know he’s testing you. Verifying if you truly want this, if you’re comfortable with intimacy.

“Don’t move.”

You lean up to peck his cheek and when you back off you manage to catch a small smile on his face before he swiftly hides it.

“I told you to kiss me.”

“I just did.”

“Do it properly.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “On the lips.”

You lick your lips nervously and his eyes dart down to catch the movement. You draw yourself closer moving your chin up, your arms on your sides - fingers entwined but chests not touching. You're so close you can feel his breath on your cheek and when he’s involuntary leaning toward you, you back away terrified of what ifs. What if he won’t like it? What if you have a smelling breath? Or your lips don't feel like they’re supposed to? What if you’ll mess it up by not doing it right? What if you won’t like it?

“Why won’t you kiss me?” you ask “I’m sure you’d do it better”

“I won’t kiss you first” he states and you stare at each other for another moment before you give in and lean up once more, this time more certain but hang right before his lips again. He squeezes your hands - it's gonna be fine. So you place a peck on his lips, not expecting them to be so mellow and warm enough to radiate heat all over your body.

He smiles widely and you involountery do the same, embarrassed by your first kiss.

“Hope you’re happy now.” You try to hide your face with your hand but he doesn’t let go of it so you bring them both up intertwined and use your forearm to cover your hot cheeks. “Gonna show me how to kiss properly now?”

Palms up in the air right before Hyuck’s face when he places a quick peck on your knuckles and forces it down, pressing to your sides.

“Keep practising.” He shrugs, not moving a bit.

“Hyuck” you whine.

“Yes?”

“Can’t you do it now?”

“Why won't you?”

“Because i’m shy”

“Since when?” He draws you to him by your hands, pressing your chests together. “Keep practising,” he repeats.

You sigh and give him another peck.

“Close your eyes,” he orders as if he is not inspecting you with his own.

“Ugh… I’m scared I will miss your lips.”

“So cute, '' he mutters. “You know..” he kisses the tip of your nose “... there are other…” you feel his lips on your cheek “... places to kiss…” his mouth on your eyelids forcing them close and you don’t pray them open when he stops milimetres from your lips. “Keep practising.”

So you do. One peck, then another and another. They are simple and short, as you're not sure how exactly to move your lips but Donghyuck lets you, patiently waiting for you to get familiar with the act, slowly ease into intimacy.

As you yearn for more, all the small kisses mold into one and he finally breaks. His palms let go of yours to grasp your face and he kisses you fiercely. First rushed movements show his impatience but moment later he balances his actions, lips confident but gentle, licking on your slightly parted ones, his thumbs stroking your cheeks tenderly. The act is so intense you move away to take a breath.

“Damn you, Hyuck. Took your sweet time didn’t you?” you pant.

He just grins in response and dives back in to kiss you.

You try to pay more attention to what he is doing, and not how lightheaded it makes you feel. Confident enough you lick the side of his upper lip, making him come back right after, hastily catching your mouth.

Your lips are swollen, cheeks rosy, pulse crazy and damn, why is this so hot in here?

Donghyuck nibbs on your lower lip and you instinctively part them, his tongue slipping inside takes you aback. You pull away startled and pray your eyes open to look at your friend with ragged breath. He looks troubled yet your knees go weak at the sight of his flushed cheeks and ruffled hair.

“I’m sorry. If it’s too much…”

“No, no. It’s not, you just caught me off guard.”

He rubs your sides soothingly and looks at you with those big eyes, pupils wide from desire yet his gaze is tender.

“Tell me if you want to stop.”

“I don’t.”

“But if you will...”

“I won’t”

“But…”

You peck his mouth and then place your lips in the corner of his and then another on his jaw. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” He affirms with a raspy voice.

You rush to trail your lips along his jaw, under his ear, his neck, oh so pretty neck. You’re definitely gonna draw him later. A kiss. His Adam's apple bobbing when he swallows hard and you feel him pull your face up to kiss you fervently. You kiss him back and when you feel his tongue once more on your lower lip you open it up and lick at his tip.

Bodies fused together, hands more urgent, kisses more heated. When his fingers softly brush against the side of your right breast, your breath hitches.

“Are you gonna invite me to your room like a gentle man,” you pant tired of waiting for him to move things forward “or you intend to fuck me on a couch in a living room?”

“Geez, women these days.” He rolls his eyes playfully. “So impatient and straightforward. No need to be vulgar, my lady.”

You pull at his hair to get back at his teasing, he hisses and then takes both your hands in his, guiding you to his room.

“Wow,” you say as soon as you enter it. “You cleaned up”

“Of course I did.” He sits down on the bed tapping his lap for you. “Though it’s a shame I’ve cleaned up the candles already.”

You stop dead just right above him.

“You're kidding, right?” But you sound sceptical. It’s not really like him to be into romantic stuff but after the dance he prepared you can't be sure of anything.

He just smiles, pulling you down to straddle his lap. You hasiate for a moment before letting yourself sit down.

"Yeah. Didn't want to overwhelm you with my thoughtfulness and generosity."

You mirror his smile and meet him halfway in a playful kiss. His palms slowly slide up your thighs, squeezing lightly at your hips eliciting a surprised gasp from you.

"Want this off" he breathes to the side of your neck, when warm fingertips graze your ribs and dip of the spine.

"It won’t disappear on it's own."

At your permission, he tugs at your shirt, undressing you. Mesmerized, he’s sliding fingers on your soft skin not covered by comfy bralette. Donghyuck looks you in the eyes and you shy away, hiding yourself in his neck. He pampers your neck with kisses, licking it occasionally, making you want more. You breathe hard and impatiently move your hips against Donghyuck’s. He mewls at the friction, grabbing your hips and guiding them closer to his again and again.

You feel so hot, your panties sticking to your folds every time they brush against Donghyuck crotch. He wanders his hands over your body, leaving burning paths on your skin and a tingling sensation in your chest.

“Touch me, Hyuck, please.”

He turns around laying you back on the bed. He looks into your eyes, placing a kiss above the hem of your pants and pulls them down together with panties.

“What do you want?” He asks, trailing his lips down your navel. You stop him before his mouth gets lower.

“Yours… Can you use your fingers?” You whisper, your heart pumping against your chest, hoping it doesn’t sound awkward.

He traces his palm against your body, feeling up your abdomen, hips and inner thighs. His lips move up, tracing dips and angles on your shoulders and neck.

“Donghyuck,” you say impatiently. “Just…” Your breath hitches. Simple touch of his fingers on your centre so intimate, so pleasurable you’re not able to think about what’s to come.

Your friend looks at you attentively, reading your face as he gently caresses your folds and circles your clit with his thumb. You’re caught up in his eyes and tender touch, as he slowly pushes a finger into you and it’s such an unfamiliar sensation your jaw drops in surprise. Your walls are tight around his digit, scorching compared to his fingers which moments ago were leaving burning paths on your skin. Finger moving against your walls and you breathe heavily, getting used to the feeling. Donghyuck pampers you with kisses and keeps checking on you when he slowly puts another digit in. You knit your brows and hold your breath at the stretch, making Hyuck withheld to give you a long and reassuring kiss. He doesn’t say anything - no comments nor praises- which you’re grateful for. You don’t need sugarcoating, especially not now.

Your eyes are locked when you’re bucking your hips, stretching around his fingers and he curls them, speeding up. You grab his shoulders tight, steading yourself, looking down at his movement you see veins on his arm and taunt muscles, his fingers disappearing in you. Your eyes roll back when he hits a spot inside you that makes your toes curl.

“Oh,” you let out astonished with the feeling.

“There?” His voice raspy, fingers aiming at your spot again.

And you just nod rapidly feeling a familiar knot in your stomach. He can feel your walls tightening, knowing your high is close.

Hair on Donghyuck's nape rise up as you dip your nails into his back. He's shivering when your breath hits his hot skin. Nonetheless he keeps his fast peace, supporting himself on the right elbow with fingers entangled in your hair, his thumb caressing your temple.

When you orgasm, you orgasm hard. A hot wave going through you, your muscles tense up, bending your body in half to the point you’d sit up if not Hyuck’s body hovering over it, keeping you down. Your chest is pressed against his side, his fingers prolonging your orgasm. Your back falls down on the sheets, buzzling in your head making you twingle, feeling soft at little pecks your friend leaves on you.

“How are you feeling?” He murmurs into your skin, tracing his nose against your collarbones, high up your neck. His voice sounds like it’s coming from behind the invisible wall - an effect of high blood pressure.

You just nod weekly not feeling a need to waste energy on actual words.

“Do you want to continue?"

You nod again and feel him smile against your cheek.

This motivates you to get yourself together. You push him off of you, shoving his back on the bed.

“Can I get on top?” you ask, slightly taken aback at how grainy your voice sounds.

Your legs are still wobbly and he helps you straddle him again with a little pout on his face. “Did I not make you feel good?”

“You just straight up strive for praise don’t you?” you tease weakly.

“I mean, that would be nice,” he says looking up at you, his hand hovering over your tights moving up to your hips.

“Sorry for neglecting that. You just gave me a mind blowing orgasm and i’m not mentaly alert.”

The blush emerging on his cheeks is so adorable it reminds you he's your best friend. What you’re doing now is a favor from him in order to make you expirience how the sex feels like. This intimacy you have now probably won’t occur in the future and your heart stings a bit when you realize how happy and gratified you feel right now. The sex, that for so long seemed so abstract and unreachable for you is so easy, effortless and unconstrained with Donghyuck. Every touch, every move is so natural and welcomed you let yourself enjoy the moment and make the most of it. You lean down to kiss him deeply. “Let me return the favour. Tell me what you need me to do.”

“Whatever you want to.” He kisses your cheek. “I’m all yours.”

You blush at his words. And as much as they make you flutter you’d rather not let them affect you too much not wanting to put more meaning into them than he intended.

“Why are you still dressed then?” you pull up his shirt and gasp. That's a sight to see, when the outline of his abs move while he’s throwing the clothing on the floor.

He catches you staring and smirks smugly. “I know, right?”

You suppose you should look away but his naked body is so captivating.

“When did you get those?” you exhale, moving your hand to touch him mesmerized.

“Johnny has been dragging me to the gym for the last few weeks. Hey, stop drooling.”

His teasing calls you back to reality.

“Aren’t we talking too much?" you ask.

“No. You’re the one who’s talking too much. I’m just answering to be polite.”

You frown at his words.

“Stop worrying. I’m gonna tell you if I won’t like it.”

Tentative at first, you start to roam your palms on his skin, focused on his reactions. Shivers when you touch his nipples, breath hitched when you trace your fingers right above the hem of his jeans. His neck is your favourite, extra responsive as you pamper it with kisses, caressing his muscles and angles with your fingers. Perfectly visible, reacting to every movement. You sight mesmerized and kiss above his collarbones and he wraps his arms on your waist protectively.

It’s only this one time when you're this close and the small possessive part of you can’t bear the thought that you’re not the only one touching him this way. That he’s not anticipating affection the way you do, as it’s innate for him. You get greedy, fully aware you're gonna regret this later you whisper.

“How does one give a hickey?” Donghyuck tightens his fingers on your sides “You don’t need to show me. I just thought that if we’re at that already I could ask? You can just tell me if you don’t want me you know…. to do it.” you stumble.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” he affirms. “Do you want me to demonstrate?”

You nod.

“Let me sit up”

You get off his lap for a moment, just to let him lean on the head board and pull you on him again. Your naked centre right next to his, you can feel his hard member against your tight. He leans up and places soft kisses on your chest, stopping at the exposed mound of your breast sucking lightly and licking the spot. When he’s done he moves his lips up your throat to the ear and whispers “Now you” nibbling on your earlobe.

So you get to work, tentatively at first leaving small hickeys on his chest and shoulders, careful not to mark him in any visible place. The heat makes you move your naked hips onto his, fabric of the jeans, making delicious friction on your clit. Hyuck emits a whine sending pleasurable chills down your spine. You lay your hand on his belt.

“May I?” He nods eagerly. When you unbuckle it, the action itself makes you feel powerful and small at the same time. Embarrassed at the dark spot you left on his crotch, you quickly tug down Donghyuck’s pants together with boxers to avoid him noticing how wet you are, not looking at him at all.

“Y/n”? His voice a bit shaky, as he’s now fully naked beneath you.

“Yeah?” You heavily let out.

“You can look at me, you know?”

“I don’t wanna be indelicate”

He engulfs your face in his palms, caressing your cheeks “I know you’re tactful but you make me feel insecure not wanting to look at me, I’d rather have you not being able to take your eyes off of me”

“As if. You’re too full of yourself to feel insecure” you pant, feeling his member slightly pressed to your center. You’re dripping, your walls are clenching and you try hard to comprehend your thoughts but you can't think. “What… what are we doing now?”

“It depends” he kisses you. “As for me, I'd kill to feel you right now. I’m so hard it hurts.” His voice low and hoarse, hand trailing down, thumb slipping between your folds and you buck your hips, gasping into his mouth “But it’s up to you what actually we’re going to do now.”

“I want to…” You drop one of your arms from his shoulders and hover it above his erection. “I want to feel you inside me.” He nods encouraging you. You awkwardly start tracing fingers down his shaft and Donghyuck’s body almost melts under you, he lets out a whimper as you move it back up to his tip, pleased with his response.

“Oh shit” he hisses. “Please, just…”

You nod eagerly “Condom.”

“First drawer” He instructs and you reach his night stand. Watching intently how he rips the package with his teeth and then handles himself pumping a few times before putting it on and rolling down his shaft. Sight of him handling himself makes you gulp, red head slipping between his fingers, you can feel yourself dripping down on his thighs.

“You sure you wanna ride me?"

Yes, you are. There’s no way you’ll just lay on your back and wait for your friend to put his meat into you, willingly depriving yourself of control. And even though you feel like you're groping in the dark, it’s not as awkward as you were worried it might be. Hyuck’s affection and understanding make you know that he won’t judge you. He gives you freedom in this unfamiliar and straining moment and you hope he won’t mind the whim of the little control you want. You look at him nervous but determined.

“If you let me.”

Your friend looks up at you, his gaze seems so preoccupied you wonder if he heard you. He places a kiss on your lips soft like a whisper.

“Be my guest”. His right hand slides down to his shaft, steading it for you when you raise your hips to move onto him.

When you feel his tip between your folds, at the entrance to your vagina, the realization hits you like a cold shower. You’re about to be penetrated and it’s definitely gonna be more than two fingers.

You look wide-eyed at Hyuck, and for once you're grateful he can read your every emotion. The hand from his member moves to your backside supporting you, while the other grabs your tightly intertwining your fingers as you use it as leverage. Your free arm wrapped around his neck keeping your chests close to each other as you slowly slide down his member.

You both maintain eye contact keeping check on each other. Sure, you’re the one having a dick inside of you for the first time but you’re in control which makes you obligated to make sure Hyuck is okay too. Even if you are not - and right now you’re definitely not feeling okay, stretching badly around him you keep moving down scared to draw back. When you placed yourself on him to the point you felt like you’d burst you hid your face in his neck breathing unsteady. You felt so extremely full and so overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that Donhyuck is soothing you, knowing you’re uncomfortable - all you could think about was the pain you felt in your lower half. So invasive and unnatural, you let out a broken sob before you could stop it.

Hyuck goes rigid at the sound of raw pain. “What’s wrong?” He immediately wants to slap himself because he clearly knows the answer.

“I’ve got your giant phallus inside me and you’re babying me,” you say defensively with a shaky voice.

“You want me to stop?” he asks worried, halting movements of his fingers gently rubbing your skin. Missing it immediately, you shake your head no.

“You can veto me if you want.” He places soft kisses on your neck up to your ear. “You can veto everything if you want.” You merely shake your head again and he kisses behind your earlobe “You’ve got an oil paint in here. Blue.”

Distraction, not sugarcoating.

“I’m sorry” It’s too loud for the moment, making you even more tense. Donghyuck kisses you again on the stain and moves down your throat.

“For the stain? It’s enchanting. For being mean? It’s titillating. Sitting on my penis? It’s welcome. Being in pain? It’s not something you control.”

He seems to not mind. He seems like he doesn't even notice how much of a giver he is when you only take and not give in return. He’s so good with you you feel like there’s no way you could give him back his kindness, patience and caringness.

So you're gonna give him what you can. If you got comfortable, even impatient and eager for his touch, familiar with his arms around you, fingers intertwined with yours, lips on your skin, then you can get comfortable with him being inside you. You are gonna make this as good for him as you can, screwing your idiosyncrasies.

When he covers your shoulders in kisses replacing the cold aggressive shivers you felt with warm and pleasurable ones, you push through the unwelcome sensation of being full. Stretching subsided significantly, you place a peck on Hyuck’s pulse as a little heads-up. Then you slightly move your hips up.

The moan he elicits startles you but nonetheless encourages to keep going. And even tough you barely move, moderatedly draging yourself up and down his shaft on your trembling legs, you know your friend doesn’t care for now, as he wshispers breathless “fuck”. He rarely swears in your presence as he claims himself old fashioned and refuses to curse in the lady's presence.

His lips move hastily to your cleavage and you begin to feel a layer of sweat on your skin.

“Hyuck” you pant. “I feel hot”

“You are hot, sweetheart,” he murmurs. Lips occupied, nibbling around the strap of your bra.

You just shake your head at his lame response, in too much hustle to address it. “Take it off.”

He eagerly croons, moving his fingers from your ass to the fastening of your bralette, you smile at him trying to struggle with it one handed since he refuses to let go of your hand to make it easier.

“I’ll give it right back” you assure. Your hips grind against his as you give your thighs a little break. He gasps at the movement and lets you unclasp your bra. He pulls it down right then, devotedly kissing the swell of each of your breasts.

“So beautiful.” Your movements halt, shy with adoration yet you feel sting in your chest instead of flattering. Paying extra attention to your every little reaction, Hyuck recognises your doubt right away. He finds your gaze. “I mean it.” Arms around each other. Deep kisses. Intertwined fingers. Your movements get more confident and precise. God, feels good. When your legs start to tremble, Donghyuck bends his knees for support, making you lean back. With another sway of your hips, he’s hitting a spot inside you and has you moaning. His hips buck up at the sinful sound you made.

Your movements speed up, your friend sits up to cover your chest in kisses, caressing your breasts with free hand. Thumb over your nipple sending strong shivers down your spine and when he places his mouth on it, your fingers squeezing his other palm tightly. Wary of your reaction he tentatively gives your bud a lick and then sucks lightly making you head spin. Your body arching, fully displayed for him as he worships it.

You’re both covered in sweat as your walls start to tighten around him, he moves his hand from your breasts down to rub your clit.

“Wait, wait, you say abruptly, forcing yourself to grab his forearm immediately making him halt his movement. “I’m gonna come,” you whine.

“Yeah, that’s the goal,” he whispers with a raspy voice, looking into your eyes and keeps working his fingers on you. It’s so pleasurable you feel your high so close your hips start to move involuntarily and you come clashing hard. Clenching on him, you drag out a groan from him. Your body convulsing, pleasurable shivers not only running through your body but running in it. Your head goes blank for a moment, you mewl a weak “Hyuck”.

You feel like you ascentended from your body, only aware of your friend because of your intertwined fingers and his soft rubbing on your clit. Although you still feel your high wearing off you move his hand away from your centre and weakly try to move your hips but now even grinding is too much for you.

“Hyuck” you start, sounding broken. He’s twitching in you, your walls pulsing around him and you’re hopeless. “I want you to come but I can’t feel my legs,” you whine apologetically and he hums trailing kisses up your neck. “Are you… even close?"

“Oh God,” he sighs needy in your skin. “I swear I’m about to come. I could simply jack off but…” his shaft twitching in you.” Can I take over, please?”

You just nod, eager to satisfy him. He helps you move from his lap, whining at your strained muscles and carefully lays you down on the soft sheets.

When his hips are settled between your legs, fingers above your head once again intertwined when he starts moving inside you. His thrusts more pinpointed than yours, dragging his member against your walls, quickly speeding up. His moves are almost desperate, grip on you firm as if he’d never wanted to let you go.

You shiver.

His mouth so close they steal your breath, swallowing the air you let out. His body between your legs, pinning you down, your skins sticky with sweat. The amount of stimuluses from another body is triggering. You freeze, unable to react, scared your slightest move would make you touch him more.

Though it doesn't make him disappear from above you, from inside you.

You feel shackled and you bite your lip to stop yourself from wincing.

Donghyuck is your best friend, the person who cares for you, the person you feel the most at ease with. The person who understands you or at least takes his time to get to you - if you’d ask him to stop he’d do it without questioning, putting your comfort over his.

However, him being your favourite person, makes you want him to feel as good as he made you feel, therefore you fight back your repulsion, shut down a screaming need to run away. You focus on his face, showing so many emotions you could spend days trying to comprehend the amount of passion this man’s heart can carry. He meets your eyes and slows down as if sensing something is wrong.

“Are you okay?”

You nod and avert your gaze, doing your best not to tremble when you bring your lips next to his ear

“Come, Hyuck.” your whisper is a little broken, begging. “Please, come.”

And he does with the next sharp thrust, letting out a sweet moan, you feel his seed filling up the condom. His hips erratic, breath heavy as you let him ride out his high.

He places the softest, most tender and caring kiss on your temple and although you longed for his kisses minutes ago, now, when you feel trapped underneath him, the lovely act suffocates you.

You want to get up, you want space. The need to tear off your skin in places where it touches him seems unrealistic but rational at the same time. There’s not enough air to breath.

You don’t mean to push Donghyuck off of you. He’s spent and you know he needs a moment to recover but you don’t trust yourself to stay like this any longer. “Let me go” your voice is strained, when you aim for it to be calm.

He worriedly gets off of you, careful when he pulls out and takes the condom off. You roll on your side, close to the edge of matters, preparing yourself to get up, feeling better at the cold air hitting your skin. So free. Open and vulnerable laying completely naked on your friend's bed with slight aching between your legs. You force yourself to shower but the moment you get up, your trembling legs give up, your knees bending as you slump to the floor.

“Careful” you hear Donghyuck. Your body gets alert when he grabs your arms to support you. Feeling your body stiffening in aversion, he pulls away sitting you on the bed for a moment.

“Did I hurt you?”

He sounds worried and you can’t brace yourself to look at him, so you just shake your head.

“How are you feeling?”

You tighten your lips because you wanna tell him how extatic the whole experience was. You felt loved and adored like you’ve never been. Perfectly accepted in your whole being. But then it stomped onto you. You lost grip on the situation and overreacted.

“Good,” you whisper.

He knows you’re not.

“Look at me,” he says.

You couldn't, ashamed of your selfishness. You wanted to run and rushed him to finish, when he was so affectionate and devoted to you.

“Please,” he asks again, lowering himself on his knees to your eye level. He reaches a hand out to you but you instinctively withdraw yours avoiding his touch. You look at him apologicately and immediately regret it, seeing his hurt gaze. You know you should grab his hand and hug him, yet knowing how to appease him, doesn’t make you do it. Right now you can’t bear the thought of touching him. You close your eyes.

“Can I use the shower?” you ask, itching to get yourself clean. At this moment being dirty and still feeling someone’s touch on you clouds your mind to the point you can’t possibly care about anything else.

He doesn’t respond immediately and when he does, he’s voice sounds strange, absent-minded like he’s disbelieving.

“Do you have clothes to change?”

You don’t. After all, all of this was cancelled.

You watch him get up, pulling out a long-sleeved hoodie from his closet and handing it to you. You put it on you when he’s grabbing other clothes for you.

“May I?”

At your nod he helps you up, cautious to grab you only by your covered forearms; he walks you to the bathroom leaving you at the door frame, handing you fresh clothes.

You only left him with a formal “Thank you”, before locking the door behind you.

***

Since the morning you’ve been working on your sculpture to busy yourself with something and keep your mind away from overthinking. Which didn’t really work.

Renjun showes up in the atelier in the late afternoon for your drawing practise, but the only thing his presence changes is the target of your nerves.

You frown displeased at another sketch you’ve made today. Messed up proportions, uncaptured movement of the body, wrong composition and clear anatomy confusion. Basic mistakes you’ve been making the whole day.

“What’s up with you today?” Renjun asks, clearly noticing your bad performance.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I'm not shaming but your work looks like shit. It’s like your first time with charcoal in hand.” Words not kind but fittingly describing your drawings.

“I’m just… having a bad day.”

“Bad day, huh?” Renjun gives you a side eyed look. “You know who else has been having a bad day for the last four days?”

Donghyuck, of course. The last few days have been like a constant feeling of guilt and uncertainty since what happened between you two on saturday.

You knew you messed up. You shouldn't distance yourself and push Hyuck away.

He made sure you enjoyed the evening and felt comfortable, fully adapting to your needs and wants.

Whatever you want. I’m all yours.

He made the whole night about you when you couldn't make it to stay with him for aftercare.

Don’t overthink. Donghyuck is just a very devoted and caring friend. It doesn’t mean that affection and kindness he showers you with is distinctive to you. It’s natural for him to treat his friends this way.

And even though shower did calm you down, cleared your thoughts, and purified that heavy, dragging-down feeling, you pushed Donghyuck away and now you should apologize and make up for it.

However when you came back to his room, standing in a doorframe uncertain how to begin an apology he was staring blankly into space lost in thoughts. You've made your way to the bed, quietly sitting on the edge.

Tentatively you slid your arm on the covers, but be withdraved his fingers before you could reach them.

It had never crossed your mind that he might reject you.

He never ever denied you affection, even when you were fighting. He never questioned your plea for touch, always happily welcoming it. So what happened now? Was it because you ran away so abruptly? Would you really hurt him that badly? Or maybe you’ve mistaken the whole situation? Maybe he didn’t expect aftercare since you're not exactly lovers? His sudden coldness in such a contrast to the loving demeanour he had just moments ago, made you feel so inappropriate.

You glance at him. He didn't look at you, his eyes blindly staring at the wall in front of him. You were out of place. Feeling of being unwelcome consuming you, but you didn’t really want to go, scared that if you leave now, you won’t be able to talk things out, making you two stay this awkward. Yet you knew it’s your fault, and you didn’t want to do more harm, therefore you were ready to leave if that’s what your friend wished for.

“Do you…” you cleared your throat after hearing your hoarse voice. “Should I leave?”

His lips formed a fine line, as you waited for response. He only spoke up when you numbly got up, looking for your clothes.

“Don’t go,” he muttered. “Just… just go to sleep. It’s late.” he said dispiritedly, standing up and disappearing behind the bathroom door.

Confused and lost, you cautiously laid down hoping tomorrow morning you’d be able to talk it out. But the morning wasn’t easy either. You both had bad sleep, laying for hours side by side on a bed too small for two people avoiding contact with each other. An awkward and heavy silence swallowing you as neither wanted to start the conversation out of fear of being dismissed. The night was long, as the feeling of guilt and uneasiness laid on your chest, taking your sleep away. You only napped a bit before the dusk, tired from overthinking and lulled by Hyuck’s steady breath.

He got up a little before you - the bed empty but still a little warm when you woke up. His absence caused a small sting in your chest.

He was in the kitchen, pouring milk into the bowl of cereal, when he spotted you in the doorway. Wearing your own clothes, bag on the shoulder, ready to leave. The awkwardness basically pushing you out of the flat.

He gauged you. “I suppose you're not staying for breakfast?” He had dark shadows under eyes, hair messy, his usually energized posture now slouched.

“I should probably get going. It’s late and I’d rather avoid running into Johnny.”

He just nodded.

“I…” you started, not really sure what to say. He didn’t want to talk. But you didn’t want to leave like this. “I’ll see you around then?”

He looked back at the milk in his bowl. You couldn’t see his face but wanted to kick yourself for how hurt he seemed when he gave you a weak “Sure.”

You left with a heavy feeling in your chest, doors closing behind you louder than ever.

Now you look up at Renjun, anxiety filling you up.

“Did he say something?”

“So it is about you two.” he says smugly, gathering his own drawings into a folder.

Oh. So he didn’t.

“Donghyuck just keeps saying it’s not my business when it clearly is. We’ve got to have shit done for the project and he's been sulking since sunday,” he complains. “What happened between you two?”

“None of your business.” You collect your pencils and tie them up together with rubber to keep them from scattering in your bag.

The boy pouts. “Could you at least talk it out? I really need him at his best right now.”

Sweet Renjun, always so selfless.

“Not really. He doesn’t want to talk to me.” You put on your jacket rushing up the boy with a firm stare.

“No way.” He gives you a doubtful look, but obediently puts on his coat. “Boy is such a simp for you, I won't believe he’s giving you the cold shoulder.”

He might have meant it in a playful way but his words hit a nerve. “Hyuck is not a simp. Especially not for me.”

Renjun raised his brows high. “You do realize he bribed me to teach him waltz the whole Friday, right? I wonder who he might do that for.”

“He’s a very good friend and has an interesting personality with a charming attitude,” you state, holding the door for Renjun and you get pulled with it by the strong wind.

“Sure.” He looks at you unapologeticaly. “Honestly, you two are sulking and it doesn’t do any good for either of you. You look like two miserable rolls of sadness.”

You sigh. Hyuck was a constant element of your life for the past two years and you didn't realize how it would look like without him. Of course, it’s not like you talked every day, at times when one of you would go to visit family or for a weekend with friends, you were perfectly fine with catching up after a few days. But this was different.

Then you knew there was an option to text him all call when you needed it, you knew that he was gonna come back and you’d spend hours talking your ears off.

Now? Even though you’ve seen each other on campus in the past days you’d barely acknowledge the other.

“Believe me, if only I could - I’d fix this.”

“So you’re the one to blame? If you’re ready to apologize, why can’t we just make him listen to you? Maybe if he knows you’re sorry he’d forgive you whatever you did.”

The problem is Hyuck has this pro-people personality, which means he’d rather avoid the problem than resolve it and risk that confrontation might do more harm than good. You sigh again. Sweeping the problem under the rug doesn’t resolve it.

“The thing is that considering what I think I did that he’s hurt about forcing him to anything wouldn't be fair.”

“You’re not sure what you did to hurt him?” Renjun asks, puzzled.

“Kind of?” Because you know - you neglected him. Though this was never the reason for him to dismiss you. “The thing is that when I wanted to fix it he rejected me.” Your voice breaks at the end. Talking about it with Renjun - even briefly - somehow made it seem more like a situation that actually happened, not just a dream you and Donhyuck miraculously shared.

When you stop at the crossroad you face Renjun and try not to squirm under his scanning gaze. “I know I screwed but he won’t even look at me,” you say with a shaky voice.

Why is he avoiding you? It can’t be just because you left. Did he regret he had sex with you? Was the whole experience bad for him or was it just you? Is it possible for your impressions to differ that drastically? You felt ecstatic when he thought it obnoxious? Would that be the reason he would treat you like that? Because he felt sorry for you? But it’s not like him…

“Hey.” You hear Renjun’s voice and notice his hand waving before your eyes to catch your attention. “I believe there's a way to make things right. Donghyuck isn’t okay with this silent treatment he gives you either. Besides, he likes you too much to let you go so easily.” His words are comforting but his voice strict, matching his next words “So either you two just need a moment to sort things out or you’ve hurt him like hell, and I swear if you did, I’ll dig a grave for you with my own hands.” he declares, making your heart heavy with guilt. “Now, let’s go. We’re already late.”

“I’m not going to guys today.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t think Donghyuck wants me there.”

Renjun gasps in fake outrage. “Thanks. It’s not like I want you to come. Or Johnny. Or Jaemin. Or Mark. Or… “

“Okay I got it.” You stay silent for a moment, nonetheless following your friend. “But what if it upset him?”

“I don’t care and I don’t know what happened but avoiding each other instead of talking it out seems to make it worse. Honestly, if you won’t come you will add fuel to the fire.”

“Didn’t you just say that we need a moment to sort it out?”

“For days is a hella long moment, for my liking,” he judges. “Stop scrutinizing.”

“I’m just humbly trying to follow your inconsistent guideline.” You shove your hands deep in your pockets to protect them from the cold.

***

When you arrive at the guys’ place there’s a lot of noise coming from inside and Renjun knocks at the door twice to finally hear footsteps approaching the door.

The thought of being dismissed by Donghyuck, unnerves you and you instinctively grab for your friend's hand to settle yourself, only to feel repulsion and disappointment. It’s not Hyuck, you realize - his fingers are longer and pleasantly warm, skin much softer, contrasting with yours dry from clay. You quickly let go of Renjun’s hand apologizing.

“It’s okay,” he affirms in a low tone. “I get it.”

You hear Johnny’s voice and then Hyuck opens the door. His smile falls at the sight of you.

“What’s up?” chirps Renjun.

Donghyuck just stares at you coldly.

“I didn’t know if you’d come today.”

These are the first words you hear from him since Sunday morning and you are slightly taken aback by how unfamiliar his voice sounds: hollow as if washed out of emotions.

It hurts but guess you deserve it.

“Why wouldn't I meet my friends?” you clench your jaw. “Just because you overlook me doesn’t mean I should ignore them.”

Okay that wasn’t nice either. Renjun subtly shoves your foot. Be kind. Didn’t he mention something about adding fuel to the fire?

You watch Donghyuck’s Adam’s apple move as his gulps, silently shifting his full attention to Renjun. It affected him - good. At least he’s not staring blankly at you anymore.

“Hay, man.” he forces a smile on his face and you get thrills at how sincere it seems. “Guys are in the living room. We’re having a drinking night today.”

You raise eyebrows in surprise as he lets you in. It’s the middle of the week so there is usually no alcohol at the gatherings.

“We have beer and vodka if you’re interested but if you want something else you should probably pop to the store before it closes.”

“Why so abruptly? Couldn't you text us?” asks Renjun, taking off his coat.

“Jaemin broke up with his girlfriend.”

“So we’re mourning or celebrating?” you inquire.

Donghyuck only shrugs, not even looking at you and walks back to the living room.

And as if you’re not feeling shitty enough, Renjun looks at bewildered and whispers “What the fuck did you do?”

For the rest of the night you’re dismissed by Hyuck which seems to not go unnoticed by your friends. No one addresses it though and the elephant in the room is eventually forgotten in conjunction with consumed alcohol and lazyly played out game.

Today’s theme is butterfly, chosen by Mark last week, because apparently “they’re both pretty and creepy”. The first round goes quite fast; people give the easiest references to use it up before others.

Mark starts with a Butterfly Effect movie with Ashton Cutcher and at that Donghyuck said “Butterfly effect, but the real one, according to chaos theory - Edward Lorenz’s Butterfly effect.”

“Yeah, yeah,” says Johnny. “You don’t need to remind us how smart you are.” He takes a sip from his drink. “Butterfly effect by Travis Scott.”

Renjun and you enumerate art pieces with butterflies and when you run out of Dali you proceed to Kush and Hirst.

Jeamin drops out first as he’s the most wasted and can’t pay attention to actually compete.

“Why - and I mean why - among plenty of insect superheroes there's none turning into butterflies? Spiders, ants, freaking vasps….”

“...ladybugs and papillons,” you interfere cheerily. “Miraculous Ladybug for my turn.”

You have to admit you liked this state. You were the joyful drunk type, booze making you giddy and loosening your tongue. That’s one of the reasons why you don’t drink often. You’re scared you might lose yourself in this carefree mood and get stuck, never drinking to the point when you weren’t aware of the amount of liquor you’ve been pouring into yourself. The fear of not being able to control your body and behavior creeping on you, effectively keeping you in check.

“Then I’ll go with Barbie Mariposa'' says dreamly Johnny. “She’s soo cool. I wanna have her sparkling wings. They would leave a path of glitter wherever I go. So spectacular.”

“Dude, you’re too heavy even for whale wings” Mark points out after drowning down shots with Renjun.

“Whale’s wings are fins and they have totally different functions.” frowns Renjun.

“Duh. That’s why they call it homologous organs.”

“Not really, arms are homologous actually, wings are…”

“I wanna be a fairy!” whines Johnny.

“Then maybe stop bulking up,” advises Mark.

Johnny firmly shakes his head with tight lips, displeased. “No, no. No. I succeeded in earning Hyuck abs. If I gave up now I’d lose the accomplishment.”

“You’re shitting me,” exclaims Renjun. Even Jeamin props himself up from the floor to have a good look at boys. “I want to see.”

“Excuse me?” Donghyuck nearly chokes on the beer he’s been sipping since you came.

“Why won’t you show off your muscles hmm?” taunts Jaemin. “It’s just us.” He maneuvers his hand around the room and stops at you. “Oh, right. Our prude can close her eyes if she minds the sigh of a human body.”

You huff.

“You still haven’t got a dare right?” you ask, bitter at the memory of the Saturday night. “It was really nice not being able to talk last week, so have fun with that.”

The boy frowns and lies back down on the floor hiding his head on the elbows. “Buzzkill.”

“Hush. Jaem. You’re not allowed to speak,” says Donghyuck, not looking at you. “It’s my turn.”

And this is how the game goes. Songs and books are being cited, Johnny and Mark lost one by one, failing to properly cite Papillon book and its movie adaptations, passing the turn to Renjun.

“Butterfly waltz,” he says.” By Brian Crain”

Your body weighs down with a sour reminder of sweet dances with Hyuck in the living room. You want to look at him, check if he thinks about it too. You restrain yourself. You’d be hurt if he wouldn’t and it would be awkward if he would. Instead, you glance at drunk Renjun who quickly catches it and winks at you before shifting his eyes back to Donghyuck.

“So?”

“I don’t know,” answers the boy with a distant voice. “Pass”

“It’s a dare then” Renjun claps his hands joyfully. “You know, Johnny really intrigued me with those abs of yours. Mind taking off your shirt?”

Hyuck clenches his jaw displeased but nonetheless complies, grabbing the shirt on his back and tugging it through his head. You avert your eyes, trying not to stare when Mark whistles softly. “Nice job, Johnny.” “I believe you mean muscles,” says Johnny, collecting Hyuck’s shirt like a trophy and putting it rolled under his head. “God knows, hickeys are not mine.”

You look mortified at Donghyuck. His skin is stamped with fading - but still visible - marks you left on his chest in places you thought no one would see. Guess you were wrong. You look up and meet his expecting eyes. His gaze hurt but distanced as if saying Are you proud of yourself?

You stand up, too frantically - you get light-headed. Your friends joke around as you go to Donghyuck’s bedroom to grab him something to wear. There’s no trace of tidiness from a few days ago. Pencils scattered on the desk along with open books and notes spread out on the floor. You grab the only folded clothing in your eyesight from beside the unmade bed, recognizing it as the hoodie he offered you the last time you were in here. It looks just like you left it on Sunday morning and your heart shrinks with the sorrowful feeling.

You come back to the living room, handle Donghyuck the clothing which he accepts grudgingly, shivering as the goosebumps cover his skin. He’s met with loud protest from the guys when he pulls it on.

“Shut up,” you nag them, averting your gaze from his body. “You dared him to take off his shirt not to freeze off his ass.” You sit back at your place on the floor next to Renjun. “Moron” you murmur angrily.

“You won’t believe it but I have a theory why you two are on not talking terms.” He adjusts to your undertone letting guys unconsciously cover it up with their loud antics. “I think you’re jealous…”

“I’m not jealous,” you protest.

“...Then I think you’re mad at Donghyuck for getting laid. Though it has a bunch of missing points - like shouldn't you be the one giving him the silent treatment then? Nevertheless it still seems more likely than the other theory in which you two finally slept with each other but it didn’t end up well.” He takes a sip from his drink.“But this one has one hella big black hole which is you having sex.

You clench your jaw, irritated at your meddling friend. “Alphonse Mucha’s Dance from 1898,” you say, trying to drop the subject, however Renjun just stares at you with a tilted head, a drunky-curios look on his face. Then he raises his eyebrows hiccuping.

“Pass.” He gives up the game letting you win. “So, tell me the truth. You did it, didn’t you? I know you’ve been hanging out together on Saturday.”

“And how does it differ from other times we hang out together?”

“I don’t remember. It made sense in my head just now.” He furrows his brows trying to think past his drunken state. “Oh. Johnny mentioned Hyuck wanted a flat for himself at that time.”

“You’re wasted.” You reach for the cup in his grasp..

“But…”

“No. You’re barely sitting straight.” You flinch at how uptight you get as you start to sober up. You hate mothering your friends but you don’t want to see them puking their own clothes. “You’re gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow.”

“Not cool.” He pouts. “You restrict my liberty.”

“Have fun then.” You give him back the cup and get up. “Sorry for suffocating you.”

You sigh tiredly leaving the room to hide in the kitchen, knowing the boys are drunk. Usually you play along with your friend’s teasing and understand social aspects of alcohol but it takes its toll on you to be around hammered people. Some levels of intoxication were giving more harm than fun.

You close your eyes. You mean well. It just doesn’t end up as intended so maybe you shouldn’t interfere? After all you’re all adults and you believe your friends can keep a level head. Yet somehow Donghyuck cares for their friends and still manages for people to not see him as prude and up-tight. You cover your face with palms, sighing. “What is wrong with me?”

“Y/n?” you hear his mild voice and look up. He’s standing in the doorway, keeping you at distance, nonetheless his eyes wide with concern.

Apologize. He’s here waiting for you to speak up. Say you’re sorry.

“I…” you hesitate, as he meets your gaze. You miss him. Your talks and nights spent together on the couch with a movie playing on the tv. You miss his brilliant insight and playfulness. For the past few days you were missing his touch - something you’d never think about before. You were feeling like the moment he’ll speak up to you, you’d ask for his daily hugs for all missed days. Though now when you’re standing with him one on one, his presence is enough. In fact it’s more, so much more you don’t want to let it go, not daring to stampede him by bringing up that night. “... just wanted to grab some water.”

He stays silent, gauging you as if figuring out. He doesn’t say a word yet you feel small under his gaze.

“I better head off.” You place a random glass in the sink, pretending you just emptied it. “How are guys?”

“Wasted. They won’t even notice if you’ll go”

“I don’t want them to … misunderstand it.”

He hums and thinks for a moment. “I didn’t hear what Renjun told you but I’m sure he’ll regret it when he sobers up.”

“It’s not only him.” You shake your head. “Jaemin is right about...”

“Tonight he’s extra mean to everyone.” Donghyuck points out with a calm voice. “But if you really want to, I'll excuse you. Is your roommate coming to get you?”

You wrap your shoulders around yourself. “Yeah,” you lie.

He raises eyebrows and straightens up. “For sure she is.”

You frown. “But I’m not drunk anymore.”

“Irrelevant. It’s the middle of the night and that's highly irresponsible” he huffs at you, heading to the door to grab his jacket.

“Stop it. I’ve been coming back home at night by myself plenty of times,” you remind him. “I’m going alone. If you walk me you’d be the one coming home by yourself and that’s ridiculous.”

“I’d rather…”

He’s interrupted by the sound of shattering glass and Johnny's theatrical call “We have an emergency, nurse!”

“Looks like you’re more needed here.”

He tightens his lips in a firm line.

“Oh, fuck! Now it’s actually an emergency.” you hear Mark’s high pitched voice.

You raise your brow.

“Just... let me know when you’ll get home.”

You put on your own jacket. “If I won't forget.”

“I’ll call you in twenty minutes and if you won’t pick up I’ll start searching through ditches.”

“I’d already be dead, it would make more sense if you’d wait ‘till morning.”

“Y/n,” he demands sternly.

“I promise I’ll text,” you assure. “Night, Donghyuck.” You close the door behind you, shutting down yells coming from the living room.

***

After you leave Donghyuck goes back to the guys to get rid of the shattered glass and wrap up Jeamin’s fingers.

“You suck at it.” Mark comments, truthfully - Donghyuck does it messily, his hands shaking when picking the glass from broken skin.

“Yeah, I’d rather have a pretty nurse treating my wounds.” Jaemin pouts. “Where’s y/n?”

Donghyuck clenches his jaw. “You were a dickhead and she went home. Stop. fucking. wincing.”

“I wasn’t more of a dickhead than you. You’re just jealous I got balls to call her pretty, asshole.”

“I swear I’m going to push those pisces further in if you won’t shut up.”

“To be fair,” interferes Mark - the only person besides Donghyuck sober enough to care about Jaemin's state. “You both acted like jerks. And y/n would take care of it more thoroughly and way faster, actually”

Donghyuk huffs. “Great. If you hurry you might catch up to her before she gets kidnaped on her way home.”

“Hey, you're not the only one worried she's coming back on her own,” oposses Mark. “Maybe if you weren't ignoring her the whole night she'd stay.”

Donghyuck's phone vibrates in his pocket and he quickly pulls it out to read your message.

Stoneheart softie ❤️>> I’m home. (1:49 a.m.)

“Oh God,” exhales Mark, looking over Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Stoneheart softie with a heart? How smitten with her are you?”

Stoneheart softie ❤️>> are guys alive? (1:50 a.m.)

“I am not. Back off, will you?” Donghyuck raises eyebrows at Mark, ignoring the knowing look he exchanges with Jeamin.

> a little too alive for my liking. Don’t worry and go to sleep. (1:51 a.m.)

Stoneheart softie ❤️>> hope you’ll manage them. Night (1:51 a.m.)

Donghyuck puts down his phone and shifts his gaze to meet his friends’ suggestive looks.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Mark exhales. “Just... don’t screw it up.”

“Because from what we’ve seen today you’re fucking nailing it,” adds Jeamin and reaches out his wounded palm back towards Donghyuck.

***

Two days later, on Friday afternoon Donghyuck is knocking on your front door. He knows you’re home even though you’re not answering - he’s seen the dimmed light in your window from outside of the building.

The idea of meeting you makes him nervous since he’s not sure how to act around you. Even though you talked two days ago, he knows that tip-toed conversation won’t fix this awkward mess you’re currently in. And although he knows that this distance between you two is mostly his fault, it's initiated by you, which for him is a big question mark on how you see this relationship.

He knocks on the door again, anxious at why you’re not answering. Did you really not want to talk to him? Every time he’s seen you on campus this week you’ve been avoiding his gaze and even though you seemed fine, your smile faded and the shadows under your eyes got more visible every day. Donghyuck supposed he didn’t want to talk to you either and yet here he was. He was mad and hurt you ditched him that night but he missed you too much to give up on you. He wanted to talk to you, experience your coltish playfulness and wit, listen to your exuberant rants about art and again feel familiar to you.

You were a very closed up person and the last few days were a cruel reminder of it. You were way more open and free-hearted around him than when you two were among your friends. Not being able to experience your unrestricted self made him feel left out. He couldn’t stop thinking about artists you discovered this week, books and articles you’ve read, anecdotes you gathered and small jokes you’ve made through the day.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. What was he even thinking when he offered you sex? Was he really that greedy that suddenly the time spent with you wasn’t enough? If he knew how it’d turned out he would never bring up this stupid idea.

He hears quiet shuffling behind the door and looks up.

“You know I can hear you, right?” he says feeling silly talking to the door. “And I see you through the peephole.”

“Why are you here, Donghyuck?” your voice is muffled.

“Why are you pretending that you’re not?”

“Can you come some other time?” you suggest.

Donghyuck is taken aback by your response. He knows he’s been cold to you lately but is it really that bad that you don’t want to let him in?

He sighs and looks down at the album he's holding. “Renjun sent me to give you back this book about Abakanowicz.”

“It’s Abakano-vitch, not Abakano-witch.” you correct him reflexively. You clear your throat awkwardly. “Couldn’t he come himself?”

“He dodged me when I asked that.” What exactly happened was Renjun throwing the book at Donghyuck after he let out another sigh that afternoon. His friend, wanting to work efficiently, lost his patience and shoved him out of the flat with curses and instruction to “give it back to y/n and don’t you fucking dare to come back until you’ll get everything done.”

You’re both silent, waiting for the other to let go.

“I’m gonna open the door. Can you just leave it on the console?”

He clenches his jaw. “Sure.”

He hears you unlocking the door and subduing footsteps as you move away. He enters the flat and places the album on the furniture standing by the wall, looking around but can’t see you in the room. At least you still trust him enough to let him into your flat, he thinks bitterly.

Out of spite, he opens the front door once again as if to leave but he closes it right away, staying in the flat and waiting for you to come out from wherever you’re hiding.

After a moment you waddle out of your room, faltering at the sight of him standing across the living room. You’re wrapped up in a weighted blanket you got from Hyuck after your first fight to make you “get used to hugs”, hood tied on your face leaving out only your puffy eyes and red nose.

“I thought you left,” you stammer.

He feels his features soften at your cracking voice, sounding like a bad recording.

“I wanted to check up on you,” he lets himself give you this half-truth, because that was the plan... initially.

“Well, I’m alive” You turn away from him, hiding your red face and taking down your hood in an attempt to look decent. You take a deep breath. “Thanks for caring though.”

This… is bad. Donghyuck never saw you crying and looking at you right now feels wrong. No matter what happens you just don't cry - you didn’t when you’ve been writhing in pain when you had acute appendicitis nor when your rat died.

Your friend’s perturbed by your tears, standing frozen and trying to figure out how to handle them. He does a quick math to ascertain your mopey state is your upcoming period doing. He knows how down you tend to feel when your hormones are having a party in your body, as you decline his offers to hang out and stray from your hobbies - those are situations he knows how to deal with. This is just way harder.

“Do you need to talk?”

You stare back at him with a hurt face and he doesn’t dare to look away.

“I do.” you nod. “About Saturday.”

Donghyuck licks his lip nervously. Is he dreading the conversation - yes, but he also feels slight relief. You’re a problem solving person, therefore you wanting to talk it out means that you care and that whatever is happening with your relationship bothers you too.

“I understand you feel resentful towards me as I owe you an apology,” you start, and Donghyuck is slightly thrown off with your formal tone. “What I want to say is that… There’s actually a lot to say. But I want you to know that I am sorry I ran away and I regret it so so much because it was inconsiderate and selfish, especially that I acted this way towards you,” you confess.

He’s staring at you, displeased by your described apology. He doesn’t doubt your sincerity - he’s just hurt at how filtrated and thought-through it feels. You keep him at a distance like you’d want to forget you spent the night together. Like you want to erase your friendship back to where it was months ago.

“But you’re very important to me therefore I need you to know that you didn’t deserve to be treated the way I acted” your voice wavers. “And I hope you forgive me.”

Conflicted, he shifts his gaze away from you - your glossy eyes pacify the rage caused by your words and cold demeanor. He wants both to scream at you and engulf you in a hug.

“I think… that if you still want us to be friends, it would be best to forget about it.”

Your lips part slightly as you stare at him, bemused by his harsh response.

“I will go now. Sorry for barging.”

You need a second to collect yourself before you rush to the door, stumbling on the long blanket, to block his way out.

“No. You don’t” you frown at him stubbornly. “You stay here until we talk it out. Miscommunication is the most common reason for ruined relationships and I’m not letting ours go because you wanna act like nothing happened. I know you’re not telling me something. There’s no way you don’t care at all.” you sigh heartbroken. “I’m so lost. I tried to understand but I can’t comprehend this. How could you be so tender and caring and next moment you’d barely acknowledge me. Was it an act? So I would feel loveable for once?” You stop dead and Donghyuck can see on your face how you're trying to rebuild the walls around yourself, gathering back the emotions you just let open for him to see. “Can you be honest with me, please? At least I wanna know what you actually meant that night.”

He looks at you disbelieving how you can doubt him. The puzzled and broken look on your face proving you’re not aware how he feels about you makes him lose his patience.

“I got hurt,” he simmers, looking at you intensely. “I adore you and I felt delighted that you decided to be intimate with me. Everything I said and did was sincere. I would never act on that. God, I don’t even think I could,” he exhales, taking a step back. “If anything, I let myself be more frank than I ever had around you. And you… You were so intimate and exposed I felt like I experienced raw you - open up down to the core. The tenderness behind your adamant demeanor, dedication behind persistence, tactfulness behind harshness. Your pursuit for the best being your whole… I let myself believe that perhaps you might like me a little bit more than a friend.”

He swallows hard, thinking how you showed him another side of you he didn’t know he wanted to know - the loving kisses you bestowed him with, tender touch on his skin, attentive eyes scanning his body like it’s an artwork. How he’s the only one you’re comfortable with touching and you let - you wanted - him to touch you everywhere. Maybe it wasn’t that meaningful to you, maybe those were just hormones? “One moment we were making love and the next you were backing away and flinching under my touch. At first I thought I hurt you. However you simply walked out and locked yourself in the bathroom. Dismissing me like a damn toy.”

You look into his eyes, an unconscious pout forming on your face. “I freaked out,” you say quietly. “And I didn’t want you to see it. That’s why I ran away.” You rub your face and hold your palms over your cheeks. “It was so… intense. Both mentally and physically. And when you… when we… “ a blush emerges from behind your fingertips.” Um… at the end the feeling was everywhere inside and out and it was so absorbing. You were so close, I felt you and I couldn’t move. Actually I could hardly breathe and my body was getting numb…” you sigh hopelessly. “I didn’t know how I'd react and didn’t want to snap at you.”

“Why didn't you stop me?” he asks, letting out a trembling breath. Your behavior now seems abstract-like considering the fact that he was violating you causing your panic attack.

“I didn’t want to.”

“What the hell, y/n?” he whispers bewildered. “I abused you”

Your eyes widen at Donghyuck’s conclusion, stumbling after him as he moves to the window, opening it to let in the col air. His head and chest are boiling and he wants to throw fists at himself for hurting you. It didn’t matter if you asked him to sleep with you. He knew you well enough to know you’re too prideful and stubborn to back away even if you’re disturbed.

The fresh nighty air cools your raging bodies. He feels your presence right next to him, not even looking at you. You’re standing too close but now even if you’d move to the other side of the room Donghyuck would feel like he’s invading your personal space.

He takes a step back.

“It was like... running, I guess?” your voice is barely audible. “You know, when your body revolts yet you wanna keep running anyway because you just know that that’s what you want.”

“Are yo seriously comparing sex with me to running?”

“Well,” you shrug. “I really like running - you should be flattered.”

He gasps, unbelieving how you can be joking right now.

“This is serious, y/n. I violated you…”

You shake your head firmly. “Donghyuck. Donghyuck, look at me.” Your voice is more demanding, making him commply. He looks up at your determined eyes.

“You think someone could take advantage of me? You’re right. But you’re also foolish to think I’d let that happen again.”

He furrows his brows, confused.

You lick your lips nervously. “When I was in high school I used to travel by train a lot for my pre-exam painting course. One Saturday I was waiting at a railway station after classes, watching a movie on my phone. It was a minor station so even though it was the middle of the day it was mostly empty, only a few people sitting across the track. As I was waiting there, a man approached and sat on the other end of the bench. Like I said there were no people so I was puzzled why he didn’t sit on one of the free benches. Nonetheless I said nothing because he looked slightly… abandoned by people and lonely and I didn’t want to be rude.” Your voice hangs for a moment. "I was watching a movie with my earphones on so it took me way too much time to notice he was jacking off, staring at me, objectifying.” Donghyuck is distraught by your words and what you say next makes him feel sick and angry. “He didn’t even touch me - his obnoxious moans, hollow sound of his hand pumping his erection, lustful and piercing gaze made me despise myself for not reacting earlier, for letting him use me without me knowing, for being so freakin oblivious.” Your voice loses stability for a moment as you reconstruct the memory.

He opens his mouth.

“Wait, I’m making a point here.” You exhale, your breath shaky. “You made me feel a lot of things. Passion, desire, easement, acceptance... I’m not saying this is how you feel about me - this is how I felt - so loved it overwhelmed me but so good I wanted you to feel as close to this as possible. And I’m sorry it turned out like this but believe me you did not do anything i didn't want to nor harmed me in any way.”

Donghyuck swallows hard trying to find the right words to say, as you stare at him biting your lip waiting.

“Are you still angry with me?” you ask in a low tone.

“God, no.” His voice mild yet tired as he compulsively takes a step toward you. “No. And I’m sorry for rejecting you that night. I shouldn’t have jumped into conclusions…”

“Then can we hug?” you plead.

“Oh, yes.” He exhales, weak for any form of affection you’re willing to give him. “Yes, please.”

He strides towards you, fitting in your tight embrace. Wrapping his arms around you, embossing, he feels your pulse and heat radiating from you, even though your palms carry their usual coldness. Donghyuck contently tightens his grip and feels you squeezing him back.

“I missed this.” your voice cracks at the end.

“Stop crying, crybaby. We’re all good,” he murmurs in your ear.

“About that." You squeeze his sides, snuggling your head in the crook of neck. “Do you accept refunds?”

“Excuse me?”

He feels you smile against his shoulder, pleased with his offended tone. “I mean your performance was just fine, though adverse effects were beyond distressing.” “Oh.” He lights up at your scheme. “I’m sorry, miss, but you ought to lodge a complaint within twenty-four hours from the end of the service. However, for special clients, we do offer compensation.”

“Hmm. And what does the compensation include?”

“It depends on the agreement between contractor and customer.” “In that case, I remember my compensation including movie night with the contractor.”

He nods. “I believe there was also section about hawaian pizza and ice creams.” You cheer, excited at the idea. “For the contractor of course to make amends for the commute.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Duh, you’re to picky to have sex with just anyone.” He grins and you roll your eyes with a soft smile appearing on your face.

“Oh, the way you compliment yourself at my expense.”

“See what a self-sufficient man you got for yourself? I don’t even need other people to receive compliments.”

You sneer and pull back out of his grasp. “We’re watching a movie. Some action or thriller? We need heavy stuff to get rid of your growing ego polluting the air. There’s no oxygen to breathe with. ”

“Titanic then?”

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah” he confirms, throwing himself on the couch. “Is a drowning ship with hundreds of people on the board not heavy enough for you?”

You shake your head at him “You’re the worst.”

He is. And he feels over the moon to have you back with him.

#FiCrEbLoG

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