#fic:enlightenments

[sparkylurkdragon]

Since it apparently needs to be underlined:

I am an I-read-banned-books type who celebrates Banned Books Week every year and believes wholeheartedly in the mission of the Organization for Transformative Works with the Archive of Our Own.

Like, honestly? Most of my fanwork is for general audiences. The vast majority, under the Archive's warning system, don't have any warnings that apply to them.

But some of them are not for general audiences. Some of them do need Archive warnings.

The best fic I've ever written as of today's date, Enlightenments, is an M-rated fic about a cycle of abuse that involves spousal rape and murdering children. I don't want to take my chances with it on FanFiction.Net, and no Team ICO Discord server I've seen would accept it. At the Archive, it found its intended audience and has, with its content warnings, so far warded off those who wouldn't have a good time with it, as was my hope.

I accept that the Archive is not here to judge quality or good taste. I accept that there are stories on the Archive that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Most importantly, I accept that this protects my own stories that plenty of other people very understandably wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

[lurkdragonstuff]

An image from an alternate path Enlightenments might have taken.

This art is G-rated, but the fic it's based on is M-rated and deals with a lot of heavy topics, so please use your best judgement if you want further background by reading the fic. It’s available at my AO3.

In one of the earlier drafts of Enlightenments, Dormin essentially told the Queen where to shove it during the chapter where she confronts them. I then got stuck for a few days until I realised that, as cool as the encounter was, it would derail the plot because of the Queen's reaction.

In the fic proper Dormin realises this themself and holds their tongue, but this alternate path for the story has been nagging at me. Getting the comic version of The Last Unicorn sealed my fate. We'll see if the AU ever gets written, but for now, here's a picture from it.

It is not lost on me that Wander is being compared to the harpy Celaeno here... letting him out at this juncture would be a very bad idea for the kids on multiple levels.

[ID: Two panel comic in greyscale pencil with cursive text. 

Panel one: Ico and Yorda, both shocked, look towards the camera, Yorda's hand on Ico's shoulder. The foreground is covered by bars and a human head with horns can be seen in shadow in the lower right of the picture. Text reads “I will kill you if you set me free.” 

Panel two: Wander, who has horns like Ico, is seen from the kids' perspective, behind the bars. He is hunched against the wall of his cell, gazing out with a tense, drawn expression. Text reads “Set me free.” 

End ID]

[sparkylurkdragon]

The one known as Dormin was bound by the power of the Ancient Sword. The wanderer with no name was bound by the power of his wife's voice.

The two prisoners have a long, long time to get used to one another.

---

Enlightenments is my long answer to the question of how Shadow of the Colossus leads into ICO, focused primarily on Wander and Dormin.

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It’s been a about a year since I finished uploading this, which is... amazing? Weird? Time does fly.

Anyway, I’m still really damn proud of this story, so here’s a repost. Please take care of yourself and read the content warnings, but if they aren’t a dealbreaker, enjoy.

[sparkylurkdragon]

Team ICO 30 Day Challenge Day 12: Another popular theory: is Mono the queen?

Ahahahaha YEP

I have written an entire longfic, Enlightenments, about the consequences of both this and of my headcanon that Wander’s basically an immortal demigod after Shadow of the Colossus. Its working title for the better part of a decade was That Sad Team ICO Fic, which, uh, should tell you about the tone.

Anyway - I suspect the creator-intended way this would have worked if the theory is true is something something Dormin, which I do use in the Immortal Wander fics, but with a twist. It wasn’t Dormin’s fault - someone went and tried to use Wander as a human sacrifice to purge Mono’s unborn child of the horns, which Doesn’t Work when the sacrifice is an immortal with a chunk of a god’s soul in his, and the magical backlash severely messed her up. It also messed Wander up by magically binding him to obey the Queen’s voice.

[lurkdragonstuff]

Don’t think I’ve shared this on Tumblr yet. 

I made a TV Tropes page for Enlightenments! Please feel free to contribute to it.

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 13 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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Without the contraceptive effect of the medicine, the Queen of course bore another daughter. So precious was she, with the Queen's current body aged so, that she did not allow the wanderer anywhere near her. A brief visit to show him the infant and to announce her name was all he was either cursed or blessed with.

Although Dormin's delaying tactics had ultimately failed at their original purpose, and although they had done nothing to affect the horned boys' numbers, what they had affected was the wanderer's attitude. He began to spend more time near Their shrines, eventually coming to sleep within them more often than not. He felt easier about speaking through thought alone, letting Them see into his heart with few or no barriers. He still continued to speak to Them in a rude register, but there was an unspoken trust in his heart that Dormin had only seen briefly before, five centuries previously when he and his wife had left to seek a home amongst other mortals.

Dormin had spent an eternity with no followers, then a few short decades with two. They had wondered before if the Queen counted, she who had been corrupted beyond saving by a spell's backlash. They had wondered for a long time if the nameless wanderer counted, he who was bound to life by Their soul and to his wife with his blood. But as his imprisonment had slowly seen his acidic outlook slowly settle, this newfound closeness made Dormin think that if he had not been Their follower before the Queen saw through Their deception, he had become so.

And as he was Their follower, he heeded Them as They spoke, though the tidings They brought were unwelcome. "Wanderer."

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 17 of Enlightenments is up! It’s the penultimate chapter - almost there, folks!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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Dormin let Their follower have space to think, though They were nearly certain of the decision he would ultimately come to once his heart was ready. They allowed him to think as he worked leather from a deer into a simple sheath, which Yorda remarked was much like the bow-holsters and arrow quivers they all carried; his serious smile was praise enough for her. They allowed him to think as, evidently on a whim, the next thing he began teaching her and Ico was how to wind ropes. They allowed him to think as he began building up a larger stock of supplies for all three to carry, never commenting on it.

They allowed him to think as he poked at his breakfast with little appetite while the half-grown children ate. Something ticked over within him, a lever finally shifting, and he said, "Yorda, Ico. There's something we need to talk about."

The two of them looked up from their meals, Yorda curious, Ico slightly apprehensive.

"When they gave me the sword, Dormin said we should leave their lands." He drew and released a deep breath. "And... they're right."

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 10 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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Through Their manifestations, Dormin led the lone mortal halfway across Their lands to the Shrine of Worship. Confusion came upon him as he approached the tower. "Here? Why?"

"What we have prepared groweth atop the Shrine." They watched him step up to the westmost stairwell to the altar, where he halted, swaying with indecision and foreboding.

"The way is opened, wanderer."

He grimaced. Dormin saw the familiar shutters close about his heart, and reminded Themself: this was a beginning. Not a middle, nor an ending. Speaking of things which had weighed on him and agreeing to seek out Their manifestations would not heal all or even most of his unseen scars. They let him be, allowing him to on his own time lift a foot and place it upon the first step. There he stood, frozen in the sun, for a dozen of his rapid heartbeats.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 18 of Enlightenments, the final chapter, is up!  See, I told you this WIP wouldn’t be in progress forever!

Thank you very much to everyone who has read or will read this beast of a story. I greatly appreciate every hit and kudos. 

Please share with me any thoughts you may have - as I say in the endnotes, I love comments and do my best to respond to everyone. Even really simple, short comments are fantastic.

Ah, and if you’re coming in new to the story, be sure to read the content warnings. Reader discretion is advised.

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Dormin watched as the three mortals walked through the canyon to reach the southwestern cliffs. There, the wanderer fashioned harnesses for all three of them, tying Ico to himself and Yorda to Ico.

"I'm stronger than both of you," he explained, "and Ico's the stronger one between the two of you. Be very careful, and if something seems dangerous, say something. It's better we take this slowly than risk any of us slipping."

The two half-grown children nodded almost synchronously, understanding and accepting the danger. The wanderer looked at both, nodded to himself, and began his ascent. Ico gripped Yorda's hand for a few seconds before he followed, and she waited until her rope began to grow taut before taking her place at the back of the climbing line.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 15 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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The first several weeks of the mortals' freedom passed in an awkward fashion.

The wanderer kept to his promise to care for the children, feeding them and translating between the two. But his long imprisonment had left deep, badly-scarred gouges on his soul. As a scar on the hand could stop a mortal from holding things, the scars on his soul soured his already atrophied ability to show them any emotion. At times he came across as more akin to an aloof sheepdog than a father in spite of his best efforts. Not helping the matter was Ico's beaten-in wariness from being raised as a sacrifice and from the violent legends he knew of his new caretaker.

Yorda mediated between them somewhat. She was easy about letting Dormin know her thoughts, taking to prayer more quickly than Ico and more formally than her father. They learned that she had indeed heard fearful things about him from her mother, but also that those stories were tempered by the Queen's continued love for him and her belief that he was in essence a good person who struggled with fits of violent madness. Yorda was ready to trust him. And Ico, of course, was the first friend her age she had known. After their harrowing escape from the Castle in the Mist, she would do anything for him and believed he would do the same for her.

Even so, it was a not a bridge she could build by herself, and more than once over those first weeks she asked for Dormin's help on this matter. There was little They could do besides advising the wanderer when to hold his temper or nudging him to check more closely on the children, but in this They persisted. Such was the reason they woke him a month and a half after the destruction of the Castle. He lifted his head with a groggy, half-formed question in his mind, which Dormin answered by directing his attention to Ico.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 14 of Enlightenments is up! 

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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Coming back to awareness left Dormin with an unpleasant, disconcerted feeling. There were only a few times They could remember having been truly unconscious. They recalled the last time, when the Ancient Sword's spell had been laid down upon Them and trapped Them anew; when They had come to Their senses to Mono feeding the wanderer in the Shrine of Worship's garden, loyal Agro keeping watch with a sprained hindleg. It felt as if it had been a long time since They had thought of those names. Which was strange, for it had only been about five centuries before.

They looked for the wanderer first, finding him still unconscious at the top of the cape. Knowing he would awaken on his own time, They then looked for and found the children.

Yorda was sitting up with her legs out to one side, watching the boy stumbling under the weight of a watermelon and what Dormin suspected was a result of the two blows to his head. He brought the fruit to the edge of the sea and dropped down beside her, then picked up a triangular rock - one of the wanderer's old discards - and used it to split the melon, then carve it further and offer a piece to his companion. She set it on the sand, evidently not hungry, and watched as he carved another piece for himself and began eating.

To Dormin's senses, the boy's shattered horns were little but a weak ember, but Yorda looked almost dull next to it. She carried within her the blood of her father and mother, but with the fall of the Castle in the Mist she was an ordinary mortal.

And yet, how extraordinary even that was.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Fandom: Team ICO Series, Shadow of the Colossus, ICO (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: The Queen (ICO)/Wander (Shadow of the Colossus), Mono/Wander (Shadow of the Colossus), Dormin & Wander (Shadow of the Colossus) Characters: Wander (Shadow of the Colossus), Dormin (Shadow of the Colossus), The Queen (ICO), Mono (Shadow of the Colossus), Ico (ICO), Yorda (ICO) Additional Tags: See AO3 and read carefully; there are a lot of content warnings and I want you to take care of yourselves. Summary: The one known as Dormin was bound by the power of the Ancient Sword. The wanderer with no name was bound by the power of his wife's voice.

The two prisoners have a long, long time to get used to one another.

***

Enlightenments is my long answer to the question of how Shadow of the Colossus leads into ICO, focused primarily on Wander and Dormin. The story is finished: it will be updated every Tuesday and Thursday until it's all uploaded.

***

HERE WE GO!!

I’ve been working really hard on this thing for the last two years and I am proud to present the first chapter of the end result. But please do mind the content warnings: the tags included at AO3 are for your protection and reader discretion is advised.

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 8 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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Days, seasons, years passed. Progress on the Ancient Sword's seal slowed once more into ceaseless tedium picking and pulling at the cracks, but Dormin had known since the seal was laid down that it would be an eternity until They were free, and They were old and patient. Were They alone, perhaps They might have fallen into a tireless rhythm in Their work.

But, of course, They weren't.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 7 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

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It was sixscore hours and a dozen unrestful attempts at sleep later for the wanderer that he and Dormin became aware of the Queen's arrival at the western beach. "I'm here," she said. "Come to me, Sabae. It's been too long, my love."

They watched as he stood, watched in some confusion as the fear in his heart settled into bleak resignation as he walked. He offered no struggle against the command, not even the simplest defying thought, at least not where Dormin could hear, and with her presence he had little ability to shut Them out.

"Wanderer?"

He did not answer.

Keep reading...

[lurkdragonstuff]

Obscure trivia about my work: I do my best to sneak at least one Raptor Red reference into all my multichapter works.

This includes Enlightenments.

[lurkdragonstuff]

Chapter 3 of Enlightenments is up!

If you are new to the story, please take a minute to read over the content warnings in the AO3 tags. Reader discretion is advised.

—-

Some long hours later, Dormin watched as he slowly pushed himself to his feet, gazed across the ocean for a little longer, then retrieved his knife and made his slow, heavy way back up to the cliff. They watched as he dropped against the tree again, staring at nothing and certainly not looking at the grave or the sticks spelling two syllables atop it. They watched as he slept, dreaming through a series of murders that each woke him for but a few minutes at a time, so exhausted was he. He stayed asleep for the last few dream cycles; Dormin suspected he did not remember the details when he finally awakened too rested to go back to sleep yet too tired to do much besides resume staring ahead.

When his strength eventually returned, he rose, finally taking a long look at Jindal's grave. His heart was closed to Them, but Dormin heard the edges of his thoughts: wondering if he had a family who missed him and suspecting he did not, wondering how what was left of his wife had reacted to the holy warriors, feeling both a vicious hope and guilt for feeling it.

Keep reading...