#fic:bones | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floralseokjin · 8 years ago

Text

— bones | 05—final

pairing— jung hoseok x reader // min yoongi x reader, college! hoseok, college! yoongi genre/warnings— angst, fluff words— 9,245

:: summary— you were broken from a past relationship, and Hoseok wanted to fix you, but what price was he willing to pay? Would he end up worse off, or would you realise in time, that your best friend was the one…?

note— inspired by this song here.

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 ✓

You sat frozen for a few seconds, the only light in Yoongi’s pitch black room from the glow of his cell screen, Hyerin’s words repeating in your mind over and over again.

Baby…

Baby, baby, baby. You had never even called Yoongi that when you guys were together. It was gross and sickening. Too whiny for your taste. Why would she be calling him that if they were over? Unless, she was finding it hard to let go… That was understandable, you knew the feeling too well. But she'd have to get the message now. They were over and you guys were giving it a second chance.

Shut up.

Your mind was practically yelling at you by the time you shook your head. You knew it wasn't true. Yoongi and her weren't over. He hadn't broken up with her. They were still together and right now, she was at the bar—or at home, wondering where the hell he’d disappeared too.

You locked his phone again and placed in on the bed, anxiously beginning to chew on your thumb as you thought about what to do. You felt weird. You were sure you should feel more upset, but for some reason you just felt stupid. You looked over at Yoongi, still fast asleep and you felt nothing. No pang of sadness. No anger washing over you. You knew you should feel something. After all you loved him. You were in love with him. So, why didn't you feel like screaming and crying?

He'd lied to you. Cheated on somebody without any regard for their feelings. Did he even mean the things he'd said to you? No, instead of sadness and anger, you just felt stupidness and regret. What the hell had you done? How easy was it for Yoongi to worm his way back into your heart? You were annoyed at yourself. You were contemplating picking up his phone once again and messaging Hyerin. Telling her where her boyfriend was and what he'd been doing. But that just wasn't you… You weren't spiteful. She was innocent in all this.

You could wake Yoongi up and yell at him. Let him explain what the hell he was playing at, but you didn't want to… You were ashamed of yourself. How much you had bent for him so easily. It was embarrassing. Instead you stood up, quietly and quickly, searching for the rest of your clothes on the floor. You needed to leave. Hopefully Yoongi would get the message when he saw his phone and the messages read. You couldn't believe how ridiculous you'd been.

You were putting your shoes back on, when with just your luck, he woke up. You heard his hoarse voiced and winced, stopping in your tracks.

"Hey...where are you going?"

There was a moment you thought to yourself: maybe you could just run for it, but you realised almost instantly that it was a very idiotic idea, so instead you turned around, your harsh gaze landing on his tired and confused form. His hair ruffled and his eyes blurry as he rubbed his face.

"I'm leaving," you muttered, looking away, unable to keep looking at him, not after everything, and went to grab your bag.

"What?!" He half-shrieked, and you heard the bed creek as he sat up, his feet slapping to the floor the same time his phone fell too and clattered to the ground.

You turned around then, watching him eye the phone, his gaze blank before his eyes widened a little, his face turning serious as he looked up at you. Your gaze was harsh as you swallowed, eyes falling to his phone and back at him again as you spoke, faux interest in your tone.

“I think someone was trying to get hold of you.”

You watched his eyes practically bulge out of his head as he realised who you meant and you scoffed, turning on the spot again, bag already over your shoulder as you made your way to his door. He spluttered, fumbling to get out of bed, only to panic when he realised he was still naked, and he sighed.

“No—wait!” He stumbled, “I can explain.”

You could hear him panic has he tried to find his underpants on the floor, tripping a few times as he tried to get them on, and just as your hand was on the latch, he was behind you, out of breath and panicky as he grabbed your wrist.

“Please don't go. Just let me explain”, he begged and you turned to face him, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“There's nothing to explain, Yoongi,” you stated. “It's pretty obvious what you've done. Now, let me go,” and you tried to push down on the latch again but this time his hand covered your own, stopping you once more.

“No! Please—I meant every word I said to your earlier,” he told you, his eyes desperate as he tried to make you believe him. “I fucked up alright, but I meant everything.”

You looked him square in the eyes, your expression unreadable. “You cheated, Yoongi.”

He groaned then, in despair as he dropped his hand and stumbled backwards, his head falling into his palms as he tried to speak coherently.

“No! I didn't…I-I…didn't…”

“You also lied to me…” you practically whispered, the hurt finally appearing. If there was something you hated, it was being lied too. “You said you and Hyerin broke up, but you hadn't.”

He groaned again, running his hands through his hair now, sticking it up as he tried to think of a way to explain. You could practically see him wrack his brains.

“I panicked, okay?” He finally said. “I thought if you knew we were still together that you wouldn't believe me.”

“What, and lying is going to make me believe you?” You deadpanned, scoffing at his stupidity.

“I didn't want you to change your mind…” he mumbled, looking down at the ground.

“You do realise it wouldn't have changed anything, right?” You informed him, eyebrow cocked as you backed away from the door. You decided you needed to confront him now that he was awake. Maybe then you could get some closure, for once.

“We could have spoken some more—we could have waited until you'd sorted things out! I wasn't going to be angry that you were still with her!” You half-shouted, finally beginning to feel angry as the words tumbled out of your mouth. “Did you just want to have sex with me that bad? Is that all I'm good for?”

“No!” He exclaimed, dropping his hands to his side, his mouth open in disbelief. “I-I—you were the one that said you wanted to. I—of course, I agreed, because I've missed you so much.”

“No, don't turn this on me, Yoongi!” You shot, pointing at him. He couldn't worm his way out of this one.

“I'm not!” He insisted.

“You're the cheater! You're the liar!”

“I know, I know, okay?” He repeated. “And I'm sorry, but I did it because I love you.”

I love you.

There it was. Those three little words you hadn't heard specifically yet. They made you feel things, but not what you expected.

“You believe me, right? I love you,” he repeated, and when he stared at your blank expression he groaned, running his fingers through his hair. “Look—I’ll phone Hyerin right now! I’ll tell her it's over.”

You watched him rush back to his bed, picking up his cell that was still on the floor. You were still in a daze when you realised he was trying to dial her number and you rushed over to him. He couldn't just end things with her there and then.

“Yoongi,” you exclaimed, trying to grab the phone out of his hand. “Yoongi, don't be so stupid.”

“She doesn't mean shit to me, Y/N!” He practically shouted, his eyes boring into yours, desperation in his irises. “All this time I've just been trying to forget about you, but it hasn't worked. I love you…so much. I know I don't give you any reason to believe me. I was a dick to you and I ran away when things began to get serious, but this time apart has made me realise how much you mean to me… Please.”

You took a step back. You didn't know what was scaring you so much. At first you were sure Yoongi was just bluffing. He wanted what he couldn't have. He was jealous seeing you with Hoseok. Hoseok… your heart hurt as you were reminded of tonight. You were so sure Yoongi just wanted to ruin everything, now that you knew he was still with Hyerin. However, looking into his eyes and seeing how erratic he was behaving, you were were conflicted. Maybe Yoongi truly did love you, but how could you be so sure?

And why didn’t it make your heart flutter when he said those three words you had been longing to here once again?

“I can't…”

The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them and you gasped in silent shock, your eyes wide.

“Can't what?” He asked, his forehead furrowed in confusion and then as he studied your face, the realisation flooded him, you could see it in his eyes.

“Y-You don't love me anymore?”

It was his turn to take a step back as he regarded you, his face turning unreadable as he waited for your reply, although you were unsure of what to say at all. You had been so sure you were still in love with him all this time. That's why you had been so heart broken. But maybe your heart had healed without realising, or maybe it took a massive mistake, like this one, to make you see clearer. Whatever it was, you now knew you the truth.

“I'm in love with what could have been,” you whispered. “It's too late now…”

He was silent for a moment as he took in what you were saying, before he shook his head, dropping his phone to the bed and moving closer to you, his hands on your shoulders as his eyes pleaded with you. You let him, but only because the realisation that you didn't love him anymore made you sad.

“This is because I lied. I promise I can make it up to you, Y/N! I swear,” he urged. “Just give me one last chance.”

“It's too late,” you repeated.

It was too late for you to be a couple and work things out. You had always though second chances were a good thing. Maybe everyone deserved one, but you knew now, that not always did they work out. Sometimes they just weren't meant to happen. The truth was, you and Yoongi were never supposed to work out. You weren't right for each other. He may love you, but he wasn't ready for a relationship. Not yet, and no with you…

Yoongi watched you carefully, reading your face for any sign of hesitation before he let out a soft groan and dropped his hands from your body, looking down at the ground before he flicked his gaze back to you, his mouth a stern line.

“Is this because of Hoseok?”

“What?” You half-shrieked. “No!”

You were adamant. This had nothing to do with Hoseok. But at the mention of his name, your heart clenched tightly, worry setting into the back of your mind. Why did you feel so anxious at the thought of him? It didn't make sense. Realising you didn't love Yoongi anymore had nothing to do with him? …Did it?

“It is, I know it!” Yoongi insisted. “You've fallen for him, haven't you? I could tell by they way you were looking at him at the club, before you noticed me.”

“Don't be so stupid,” you dismissed.

Hoseok was your best friend. That was all. Of course, he meant the world to you, but that's because you had known each other for so long. You were 100% comfortable with him. Yoongi was just paranoid.

“You want him, not me,” Yoongi whispered, and for some reason that just made you angry. As if you had to defend yourself somehow.

“Will you listen to yourself?!” You burst. “That's not it at all! Me and you, it's too late, Yoongi. I should have never gone back here and convinced myself this was a fresh start. You have a girlfriend, for crying out loud!”

“I still see you as my girlfriend though.”

You sighed loudly then, wanting to rip your hair out. “No, you don't—or you shouldn't. I've been kidding myself this whole time—missing you, crying over you. I shouldn't have let this happen, I needed closure…”

“Closure?!” He laughed bitterly. “You need closure? Well, I don't think it's gonna happen now—I just told you that I'm in love with you.”

“You should have meant it the first time,” you murmured, shaking your head. “We wouldn't be here if you did.”

“I did! I was just confused. You're the first girl I’ve felt like this over.”

“Yoongi,” you warned, watching him take a step closer. “Just stop, okay? It's over—has been for months. We should've both realised that. We're not good for each other.”

“We are,” he argued, but you cut him off, taking a step backwards at the same time.

“If we were, we would have never broken up. You wouldn't have gotten scared and I wouldn't have become this obsessed.”

“But, I know now…”

He was begging you to listen to him, but you didn't want to. You knew this was a big mistake, but maybe you'd needed it to help you realise that maybe, you were finally over him. You were still sad and confused, but you realised when Yoongi now said he loved you, it didn't make you feel the same way you once had.

“I need to go,” you told him, making your way to his door again, your stomach feeling some sort of empty as your eyes darted around his place. This would be the last time you'd be here. You were sure of that.

“It's late out. I can't take you home, I've been drinking,” Yoongi began, but his voice sounded empty, dejection in his tone. “Just stay the night—maybe we can talk better tomorrow with a clearer head. I’ll sleep on the sofa—

“I don’t want to, Yoongi. It will just make things more awkward,” you interrupted. “Besides, I called a taxi before you woke up. They're probably here by now.”

You were lying of course, but you needed to clear his conscience. He'd probably never let you walk all that distance on your own, but you needed the time for head space. Regardless if it was dangerous.

“But, I don't want this to be the last time we see each other,” he said, and you turned to face him, seeing how dejected and confused he looked right now, his hair a mess and his eyes still blurry.

“It probably won't be,” you answered with a small smile. “It’s a small city. We’ll see each other most probably.”

There was another silence as you regarded each other before he spoke again, watching you push the latch down and open the door a little.

“There's nothing I can say or do to make you change your mind?”

You swallowed, letting the cool air of the night hit your face, helping you clear your mind already.

“It's as over as it ever was.”

It took you well over an hour to walk home, your head a mess as you tried to make sense of everything, confused how things had done a 180 so fast. By the time you got home, it must have been nearing 5am and you prayed to god that Hoseok was asleep already. You didn't want to speak to him right now. Not only did you feel bad about your argument earlier, but you didn't want to explain how you'd gone home with Yoongi and everything else that had happened. You already felt beyond stupid and you'd seen how upset and hurt Hoseok was. It wasn't right to dump all this on him.

You nearly thought the coast was clear when you opened the front door to darkness, but then the overhead light came on and you saw Hoseok rushing the steps from the hallway to the door. A permanent worried etch on his face.

“Where the hell have you been?”

You swallowed, turning around to close the door behind you slowly as your tried to bide time. You really didn't want to explain where you had gotten to. One, because you didn't want to go through it again seeing as it had only just happened, and two, you had the sinking feeling he just wouldn't want to hear it anyway. For some reason, you were scared.

“I've been calling you non-stop for the past two hours!” He exclaimed, watching you turn to face him again. “I was this close to calling the cops.”

You were silent for a moment, really not sure of what you were going to say. You've forgotten for the second time tonight that your phone was off and now you felt incredibly guilty. Hoseok had stayed awake worrying about you, even after your argument.

“Where the hell have you been?” He repeated, his tone irritated.

“I-I—nowhere important. I'm back now,” you finally got you. Although you were unable to meet his gaze.

“That's a shitty answer. I've been worried,” he shot straight away. “All the clubs close at 3, so where the hell were you?”

Regardless of if you were looking at his face or not, you face must've given something away because you heard him groan a little, the sound of despair leaving his throat and you looked up at him in shock, just to see his face turn pale.

“Oh, god. Don't tell me you were with him!”

“It's wasn't like how you think,” you spluttered, desperate to defend yourself.

So much had happened tonight that couldn't be explained in a simple sentence. You could tell by the look on Hoseok’s face that he was thinking the worst, but before you could begin to think of how to condense everything, his face contorted and when he spoke again he sounded angry.

“I can't believe I was ever going to apologise to you for being irrational. I was making myself sick worrying about where you had gotten to because I thought it was my fault! But you were with him!”

His outburst shocked you, and you stood still by the door like a bobbing goldfish, your mouth wide open. The way he referred to Yoongi with such bitterness began to ring inside your head, like an annoying alarm clock. You knew he wasn't his biggest fan and you'd heard him refer to him in not-so-nice ways many a time, but tonight, there was something else in his tone. You couldn't place it.

“I should've guessed. I see your plan worked, huh?”

“It's not like that, Hobi,” you argued, although your voice came out weak. “There was no plan—I was confused.”

It was the truth—you were confused, but after tonight's events, the walk home had given you somewhat of a clearer head—until now. That's why you'd wanted to wait until next morning to see Hoseok. He was still upset about the club, you could tell.

“You can't use that as an excuse anymore—you wanted to make him jealous and it worked,” he retaliated.

“No, I—

“Did you sleep with him?” He interrupted, his mouth seemingly moving faster than his brain and instantly he groaned again, not even needing you to answer. “Oh, god—I am so fucking stupid,” he muttered and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

That was the second time he'd uttered those words tonight.

“Was it worth it? Because you coming back at 5 in the morning is telling me it didn't work out so good for you.”

“Hoseok,” you warned lowly, shocked by his blatant mocking.

Instead of answering you back you saw him shut his eyes, his arms hanging by his sides and he bunched up his fists. He looked in pain. Even more so when he gritted his teeth, seemingly in his own little world.

“I can't even look at you right now,” he whispered and with that he was turning around and walking back down the hallway, entering his bedroom.

You stood there in shock for a couple of minutes, unsure of how to handle everything. You'd already had too much conflict tonight and all you wanted to do was curl up in your bed and try to sleep. Hoseok would understand, besides, no good ever came from arguing whilst tired and upset. A clearer mind would fix this. A good night's sleep. You would go to bed. You almost did just that when you began walking towards your room, but then you heard noises coming from Hoseok’s room. Drawers opening and coat hangers clattering.

You ran into his room instead, your eyes widening in horror as you saw his duffel bag on the bed, watching him frantically fold some clothing into it, his face like thunder.

“Hoseok? What are you doing?” You asked, the confusion and shock evident in your tone.

“I need to leave,” he answered, although he really wasn't paying much attention to you. He seemed on a mission.

“What? Because I slept with Yoongi? Quit being so overdramatic,” you shot, despite how mean it was, but anger washed over you.

He was supposed to be your best friend. He was supposed to understand you. Why was he running away from you? You heard him scoff and he stopped what he was doing, turning to face you and you tried your hardest to keep eye contact.

“Tell me Y/N, does sex make you feel validated?”

Your blood ran cold.

“What the hell—

“You do realise Yoongi doesn't care about you right? Or did you fall for his charm yet again?”

Hoseok’s words were like a knife to your skin. You had never had him speak to you like this before. You couldn't understand why he was being so horrible, and your heart was beating ninety to the dozen, a cold sweat forming up your back.

“It wasn't like that. You don't understand what you’re talking about,” you dismissed.

“Don't be so stupid, Y/N,” he scoffed. “He's after one thing and one thing only—They all are.”

“What, like you?”

The accusation was out before you could stop yourself and you saw Hoseok look at you in horror, taken back by your admission. However, you carried on.

“Because you seemed to be quite happy continuing having sex with me all this time.”

“It's not like that,” he argued, shaking his head and going back to packing his bag.

“Oh? Because you're my best friend you've got dibs, is that it?” You challenged, truly infuriated now. You had no clue was he was acting so irrational.

“That's not it at all. You don't know anything.”

“No, I obviously don't…” you scoffed, hurt visible in your voice. “Because I don't understand why you're mad at me right now—why you're leaving me?”

“I can't be around you anymore!” He burst, just as the question left your lips and you looked at him in shock, eyes frozen and wide. “Okay? I can't bear to hear your voice, see your face or just be anywhere near you!”

Was he really that annoyed by you? Had you hurt him that much by using him to make Yoongi jealous tonight? You had no clue, and suddenly you felt a guilt wash over you. He meant so much to you, and you didn't want to hurt him. But you needed him to understand...

“Look, I know I hurt your feelings tonight, but…I really need you right now, Hobi,” you began, lowering your voice. “Yoongi told me—

“I don't care what Yoongi told you!” He shouted, and you flinched. You'd never heard him raise his voice to you like this before. “You're stupid enough to believe his bullshit. Maybe you deserve each other.”

You watched him throw some of his clothes in the bag now, not even bothering to fold them as his face contorted, his gaze angry and his mouth in a permanent frown.

“Why are you being so horrible right now?” You asked, your voice tiny.

“You have no idea how hypocritical you're being," he sneered, not bothering to look at you.

“No, you're right—I don't," you shot. “So, tell me."

There was silence, as if he was unsure of whether to explain or not and then he was ranting, the words spilling out of his mouth that left you even more confused.

“You don't know how much it drives me crazy to listen to you speak about him every damn day—

“I don't—

“You have Irene for that, not me!” He interrupted, his voice loud and it broke as he exclaimed, sounding incredulous. “Why would I want to hear you speak about how much you miss that dick?!”

“You're my best friend…” you whispered.

You watched him scoff quietly, his face forlorn when he turned to look at you once more, a piece of clothing in his hands hanging limply. He looked lost.

“That's right—I am."

“What's that supposed to mean?” You questioned straight way, but he shook his head lightly, turning back to chuck the t-shirt in the bag.

You weren't having it.

“No, come on," you ordered, raising your voice now. He couldn't be cryptic and expect you to guess.

“Tell me why you sound so horrified about it?”

He continued to ignore you, but you saw the way he froze all movements, his hand inside the bag as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. You waited. The confusion beginning to cloud your brain. And then he spoke and your world turned upside down.

“I love you, okay."

Time stood still as he turned back to face you, his eyes large and his face etched with something you couldn't pin point. Relief maybe...that he had finally confessed.

“I'm in love with you.”

The shock burst through your veins like a bullet, your face frozen and your throat instantly dry. You couldn't speak. You couldn't move. You were frozen in time, the same words spinning around your head as you stared at Hoseok. He watched you for a moment longer, and then whatever was pooling in his eyes—hope maybe...? It disappeared and got replaced with something else...despair. He scoffed silently, shaking his head lightly.

“Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to say it back."

You needed to find your voice.

“Hoseok, I don't underst—

“Neither do I," he interrupted quickly, cutting you off, and you stood there open mouthed. “But it doesn't matter, I should have known better than to think I could make you feel the same."

He began to zip up his duffel bag, taking the chance to run away and leave you answer-less. You needed to make him see. You needed to understand what the hell was happening.

“A-All this time?”

You watched him step forward, swinging the bag over his shoulder, although his movements were weak...dejected.

“Ever since you fell for Yoongi, yes," he replied, laughing bitterly, almost as if it was at himself. “Laughable, right? How stupid was I to think you'd realise how crazily and undeniably in love with you am I?!”

His new words sent you into even more of a tailspin. He was your best friend. He couldn't be in love with, especially all this time. How could you have not realised? Why had he even agreed to sleep with you for so long...?

“How stupid was I to think maybe you could feel the same?”

You wanted to pass out. Your legs felt like they were going to collapse from underneath you. Your limbs shaking as you moved forward to stop him when you saw him go to take another step.

“You can't just drop this on me and leave, Hoseok," you told him. “Just because I don't love you you're going? You're going to end years of friendship? You're going to hate me instead?”

You didn't miss the way his eyes fell closed when he heard you tell him you weren't in love with him, and you weren't prepared for how much it was going to hurt. You felt like a horrendous person, but it was true—you weren't in love with him. He was your best friend. You loved him, of course, but not in that way...

“You should have known, Y/N…”

His admission jolted you from your thoughts, looking up at him in horror. How could he say that to you? Why should you have known? How could you have known?

“Why else would I have agreed to something so stupid?”

He was talking about your agreement. You knew it...and it made you angry. By him agreeing didn't mean you should know he loved you. He was the one who had brought it up, for crying out loud!

“You can't blame me for this," you shot, but he ignored you, stepping aside where you stood to begin to leave.

“Hoseok," you called, following behind quickly, definitely not done, and you clasped onto his shoulder trying to stop him.

He spun around quickly, making you take a step back in shock when you saw the woe in his eyes—he looked tormented.

“You have no idea how much I'm hurting right now, Y/N," he practically wailed. “Or, maybe you do… Everything that Yoongi did to you, you've just done to me."

The realisation shot through you, remembering how much you had been hurt by Yoongi in the beginning, and now when you were finally sure you were over him, the pain was back...but in a different form. You'd broken someone else...unintentionally. And like he was a mind reader, Hoseok spoke again.

“You've broken my heart.”

He regarded you carefully, before carrying on. You could see his lips move, but you couldn't concentrate. The words spinning a mile a minute inside your brain and rendering you useless.

“How does that make you feel?”

You watched him turn his back to you and begin to storm off, out the front door. And then you were alone.

You silently crept back into his room, looking around at the mess he'd made trying to stuff clothes in his bag to leave... to escape you... You sat down on the side of his bed, feeling the familiar dip. How often had you spent in his room, on his bed? Laughing and joking? So relaxed you could die happy? Only that morning you'd woken up in his arms and kissed him good morning... That was all gone now...

You were alone.

It had been three weeks since you’d last seen Hoseok. Three weeks of infinite time alone with your brain and his confession still shook you to the very core. You couldn’t stop overanalysing every little thing about your friendship, looking for clues and signs you obviously missed. It seemed obvious now, to you, why he had been so happy to be there for you…in other ways, regardless of if he wasn’t thinking properly. He wanted to make you fall for him too and he hadn't been thinking of the consequences. At all.

Every kiss, every touch, every word he gave, you began to examine. There were bits you kept remembering that came to you in the middle of the night in the form of nightmares. You remembered every look in his eyes when he’d kiss you and laugh with you. You remembered the times where he’d get jealous when he saw you flirting with someone in the club… You remembered how hurt he’d been when he’d realised you were using him to make Yoongi jealous that fateful night. It was all so clear now. He was right—how could you have not realised? You were too self-absorbed that’s why. You thought the world revolved around you and your problems, completely disregarding everyone else’s feelings.

You were too heartbroken to think straight and in the end, like a cruel twist of fate, you had done the same to Hoseok. You’d broken his heart—over and over again. Every time you kissed him, touched him, had sex with him, you were crushing him, and the realisation hurt more than anything in the world.

Hoseok was incredibly strong, considering how much he could give and give without getting anything back in return. How had he managed to stay your friend for so long? Seeing you every day… Hearing you talk about other men… Seeing you with other men… He was made of rock, but even they weathered away sometimes…

You had tried to message him a few times, even calling, but you’d given up when you realised you didn’t know what you could say to him to make him feel better. There was nothing, and that was torture. You didn’t know whether you’d lost your friendship forever…but you didn’t blame him at all if he never wanted to see you again. You knew he was staying with Taehyung because Irene had told you, and that was another thing… Taehyung. It all made sense. He obviously knew how in love with you Hoseok was and that explained why he’d tried to set him up with that Minah girl. Did everyone know apart from you? It sure felt like it…

You didn’t sleep well at all, especially without Hoseok being there and you didn’t know how or why you couldn’t explain it. Missing him was only normal, he meant so much to you after all, but this was different. You couldn’t place it. You missed falling asleep next to him, you missed waking up beside him and you missed his kiss…his touch. You knew it wasn’t about the sex. You’d come to realise that sex never solved any of your problems. It hadn’t worked when you’d began sleeping with strangers to heal your heart from Yoongi and it definitely hadn’t worked when you’d looked for solace in your best friend too.

The sex meant nothing. It was the closeness you craved. The feeling that somebody wanted to look after you and comfort you. But it wasn't just someone you wanted… Hoseok had done just that. Every time you closed your eyes you saw him…you felt him…and you missed him. You didn’t know what it meant, but the more you thought of him, the more confused you got.

Things didn’t begin to get clearer until you saw him one evening, and that’s when you found out that maybe you hadn’t realised a lot of things…

Irene had forced you out tonight, because, and you quote, “You haven’t been further than the front door in weeks.” She was correct of course—you hadn’t, but forgive you for not feeling like it. You’d only agreed now because she’d promised you a burger…

You had just finished and were walking out, when you saw him—Hoseok. You were confused why you hadn’t been able to realise he was there already. You’d been at the restaurant for an hour or so, but now, just as you were leaving, here he was. Not alone either. He was with somebody—a girl, and they were laughing loudly together. He looked a far cry from his sad and dejected self he was last time you saw him, and you didn't know how that made you feel.

Was it a date? It sure looked like one? Was that the girl he'd been messaging all those weeks ago? The one Taehyung had set him up with? The pang of jealousy hit you hard, similar to that of the time he'd texted her in front of you. At the time, you were sure it was your irrational mind, but now…not so much. The feeling was horrible. It burnt through your veins and attacked your heart, and once again you were shocked into silence.

It should be you.

A stupid thought that you knew you had no right to feel, but couldn't stop yourself anyway. You had once made Hoseok laugh like that, and you wondered if there would be a time you would do so again… probably not.

In twisted fate, Hoseok noticed you as you walked past, his face freezing mid smile as he made eye contact and the world stood still. There was no girl, no Irene—just you and him, and something hit you. You realised something. Seeing his face again after weeks of just imagining it. It was like heaven. But he wasn't yours.

You'd had your chance and you'd blown it. All those times you had with him and you'd never realised how he truly felt…

“Y/N… Hi,” he said out loud, and you hid your shock. Hearing him say your name again was great. However, you couldn't work out whether it was in disdain or pleasantness.

“Hey,” you replied, forcing a smile on your face as you paused all movement.

It was in that moment you realised if you couldn't make him happy, you hoped someone else could. No matter how much it hurt.

A foreign feeling. Something you may not have the right to feel.

You took a step forward, wanting to leave. You didn't want to watch any longer and you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. It was in a fleeting moment that the words came out your mouth, but you meant every one.

“I'm glad you're doing okay.”

It wasn't until you were outside, gasping for fresh air, Irene hot on your heels, that you realised you were close to losing it. Your hands shaking and your body lightly buzzed, but not in the good way—definitely not in the good way.

“Are you okay?” Irene asked, concern all over her face. It was like she knew something you didn't.

“No, not really,” you admitted. “That was her—Minah. I know it.”

You'd already told Irene about Minah when it first happened, and she pulled a face. Was she judging you? It sure felt like it. You felt claustrophobic, even though you were outside.

“I knew you shouldn't have gotten involved like that with him,” she commented and you felt your heart sink.

She'd said it so many times in the last three weeks, which was hilarious, because where she had once lectured you about Yoongi, now it was Hoseok’s turn. There was no escape. You were a laughing stock. Your life was a mess—especially now.

“Irene,” you let out, needing to confess something before you blew up. “I'm so confused. I thought he was my best friend…but seeing him with someone else…”

The realisation wasn't an epiphany because your brain was still muddled, but the feeling in your heart was strong…

“It hurts?”

You nodded quickly, glad she wasn't judging you like you thought she would. Instead she looked worried for you—sad for you.

“And I don't know if it's because I'm jealous my best friend is gone, or if I have…feelings for him…”

The words were out. There. You'd said it out loud. The trepidations you'd been having all this time, ever since Hoseok and left and you were alone with your thoughts. It made you scared, but you needed to rid them to someone else. You couldn't bear it all on your shoulders. To your surprise, Irene didn't look shocked at all. All she did was smile softy, taking your hand in hers.

“You need to speak to him, Y/N. You can't go on like this.”

Taking her advice was harder than it sounded though. There were a million things flying around your head as you tried to get to grips with your feelings, and one thing kept holding you back. You knew you weren't in love with him. It hadn't gotten that far yet, but somewhere along the line, you'd fallen out of love with Yoongi and began to form feelings for Hoseok. You knew that was true at least. But was it enough…?

Hoseok was in love with you, and maybe knowing that you had strong feelings for him wasn't enough. Wouldn't the best thing to be to just leave him alone? Leave him get on with his life and move on… He'd already been seeing Minah, that was obvious. You had no right to mess with his mind if it was never going to be enough…

It turned out though, that maybe things would work out in their own way… That's what you thought anyway, when you heard a key at the front door one night four days later, while you were watching tv.

It was Hoseok. It had to be. He was the only one who had a key, and as you turned your head—there he was. Duffel bag in hand, his dark fringe flat to his forehead, making him look years younger. Your heart flipped. He was beautiful.

“Hey,” he greeted you, his voice stiff, obviously feeling awkward as he came in and shut the door behind him.

“Hobi—I mean, Hoseok,” you corrected yourself. For some reason, using the nickname you gave him just seemed wrong now. An intimacy you didn't deserve. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

It came out ruder than you intended, but you were in shock. You weren't expecting him just to walk right on in like this.

“Just came to get a couple more things,” he explained, holding up his bag and your heart dipped in disappointment. He wasn't staying then. “Taehyung’s washer’s on the blink so I thought it best to get some new clothes—Besides, I'm kinda sick of wearing the same things all the time,” he laughed lowly, but you both knew it was forced.

“Oh,” you let out, “right…”

“How have you been?” He asked, surprising you, but you jumped at the chance of conversation. It had been so long since you'd last spoken.

“I've been…fine, you?”

“I've been okay,” he replied, and then there was an awkward silence, something heavy hanging in the air. You both knew what, but neither of you had the balls to confront it. You couldn't even converse properly…

“Alright, so…I'm just gonna be in my room then…” he said after a moment and you watched him walk towards the hall, disappearing moments later.

My room.

His room. He still called it that. For some reason, that was the tiny bit of hope you needed to gain strength. It was a sign, and you couldn't give up on it. Not now—not ever.

You got up swiftly, practically running into his room to the familiar scene of him folding clothes into his bag. Only this time, he seemed a lot calmer.

“Hob—Hoseok…?” You asked, correcting your slip quickly.

“You can still call me Hobi, you know?” He told you, looking up at you and you nodded, suddenly feeling shy. “Hm?” He prodded, when you didn't reply.

“Will you ever come back?”

Your words came out slow and careful, wanting to know the answer, but scared at the same time. He was silent for a moment, as he contemplated his reply, before looking down and folding a t-shirt.

“I think so. I just need time, that's all. I don't want to lose our friendship because it means so much to me, but…it's difficult right now.”

You took in his reply, feeling sad and slightly happy at the same time. At least he wanted to come back, and you took comfort in the idea. You wanted to say more, but you didn't want to ruin everything. Instead, you tested the waters.

“Was that Minah the other day? The girl I saw you with?”

“It was,” he answered, after another pause. “Taehyung thought it would ‘get my mind’ off things.”

“…Did it?” You questioned, unable to stop yourself.

“For a bit…but then you showed up,” he shrugged and you suddenly felt very guilty.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you apologising? It’s not your fault…” he chuckled silently. “I actually came here to apologise to you too—not just for my things.”

“Apologise?”

You were confused again. Why would he need to apologise to you at all? You were the one who had broken his heart.

“Hm,” he pondered. “I was…horrible to you, Y/N,” he admitted with a wince.

“I made it seem as if everything was your fault—when it wasn't. First of all, I shouldn't have believed you would realise I was in love with you… I'm your best friend, why would you think it was something more? And second of all, I made you feel guilty. I told you, you were the reason my heart broke and that's not the case—I am. I'm the reason I got hurt. You weren't to know how I felt.”

“But I should,” you nodded, knowing what you remembered now. “Thinking back, I should have known…”

“Don't beat yourself up about it,” he dismissed, shaking his head. “I was under the stupid impression I could heal your heart and make you fall in love with me…If anything it's my fault—

“Wha—

“You were vulnerable and I took advantage of you. I tried to use it for my own good,” he interrupted, and you could tell by the relief in his voice, that a weight had been lifted off his chest.

But he was wrong.

“No, you didn't!” You exclaimed. “You're my best friend, Hoseok. I wanted to as much as you.”

“Really?” He questioned, shooting you a pointed look. “As much as me?”

You suddenly felt very stupid. Of course, not as much as him…at first… The words were on the tip of your tongue, but you didn't say them. You couldn't—not right now.

“At least I helped you get over Yoongi, huh?” He joked and he obviously saw the shock in your face. How did he know? “Irene told Taehyung that you told him you didn't love him…”

Of course, she did. What a gossiper. Despite if she was trying to make things right or not...

“Two people in one night, huh? You were on a roll—” he added, and you faltered, making him grimace, “—I'm sorry, I was just trying to make a joke of things…” he apologised. “This is still pretty shitty…”

You were silent once again then, watching him zip up his duffel and your heart sunk. You didn't want him to go now—not ever. You needed to do something—say something.

“Hoseok, do you really have to go?”

“It's for the best right now, Y/N. I promise—

“I miss you,” you cut in quickly, and maybe a little loudly, because he winced. Or maybe he just really didn't want to hear it.

“You really shouldn't say things like that to me,” he warned, his voice sad, despite a small smile on his face.

“But it's the truth. I miss you—a lot,” you added, needing him to realise what you meant.

“I miss you too, but not in the same way…” he admitted, taking a step forward. He was leaving you again, and you panicked.

“What if it is?”

He froze in his tracks, his bag strap slipping off his shoulder, before he turned back to face you, his expression cautious.

“D-Don't say stuff like that when you don't mean it.”

It was too late now. You needed to explain. It was now or never.

“Hoseok…this whole time…” you began, hating the sound of your own voice. “This whole time since you've been gone, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I've missed you so much and I can't bear not to have you in my life again.”

“You've probably missed me because I made you feel guilty,” he dismissed. “It's okay, Y/N—I’ll be over it soon and I’ll come back.”

His words were supposed to comfort you, but you didn't believe a single word. He was lying. If he was in love with you, he'd never be over it. Not enough to keep you in his life anyway.

“You won't be over it soon, though. How long have you loved me? Nine months? Or more? Were those feelings there ever since you met me, but they only became stronger after I met Yoongi?”

You felt like you were interrogating him, but you couldn't help it. You needed to know. What if you had loved having Hoseok in your life so much because there was always something about him? Something special that you couldn't put your finger on… He was everything to you. He was the only person you could be 100% yourself around. That had to mean something. He was silent though, beginning to look startled.

“You need to tell me because I'm confused…Hobi…I want you—I want to be with you.”

He looked at you wide eyed then, hope flashing in his irises for a moment before he blinked and it was gone, shaking his head as he spoke.

“Don't say stuff you don't mean. You want me because we've been having sex for the last few weeks, that all. You're confusing love with lust.”

“No,” you argued. “I'm not.”

He was dismissing you and you wouldn't have it. You needed to make him understand. Seeing him in person once again, only fuelled you. You needed him. You didn't want to lose him.

“I admit that I'm not in love with yet, because I've always seen you as my best friend, even when we were…hooking up…but these feelings I have…” you spluttered, trailing off, not making any sense.

You took a deep breath, your hands shaking as you finally said the words you'd been thinking of for days. The echoed around the room.

“I see you more than that, Hoseok—I want to fall in love with you.”

The silence was deafening, and your heart plummeted inside your chest when you saw him shake his head and turn his back to you, beginning to walk out.

“Don't say things like that, Y/N. I'm trying to get over you here.”

He was leaving you again. He wasn't listening to you. Or it wasn't enough. You needed to make him see it was.

“But I mean it. I love you,” you blurted out, chasing after him and he stopped in his tracks once more, his back to you. “You’re my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my rock to lean on. You've been there for me through everything—even when it meant at your expense… You mean everything to me and I can't stop thinking about you.”

“Y-You're confusing friendship with something more,” he argued, spinning to look at you again, but you could tell by the look on his face, he was dubious. He could hear the passion in your voice. The way you urged him to listen. You had never felt so righteous. You believed everything you were saying and you needed him to do the same. So, you carried on.

“At first I thought I was, and it made me even sadder, but I've had time to think… Seeing you with Minah too, it was like a stab to my heart. You mean more to me than any friendship. That means something, right?” You asked and you saw him nod slightly, his mouth parted as he gripped the strap of his bag.

“I have feelings for you, I know I do—you can't tell me any different.” You carried on defiantly. “You may not want to know this…but there's a reason you kept popping into my head when I was with Yoongi. There's a reason why I didn't want to be with him again—why I didn't love him anymore.”

“I want to be able to fall in love with, because I know now that it's what I was doing before I messed everything up and you left. I was falling for you, because how could I not? You're amazing in every way. You're caring, sweet, con—

“Yeah but, caring and sweet never gets the girl. That's just in movies, not real life,” he interrupted, but you knew he was trying to worm his way out of it. You didn't know why.

Why couldn't he just let you fall in love with him like you wanted?

“Will you just listen to me?!” You half-yelled in frustration and he jumped a little, taken aback. “I want to be with you. These past three weeks, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I miss waking up next to you every morning, I miss just lazing about with you… You don't understand what you have, until it's gone…” you whispered now, trailing off, before taking a breath.

“I don't want it to be gone.” You said simply, not being able to hold back.

“Please Hoseok. Give me a chance and I promise I won't let you down. You're everything I've ever wanted. I know that now,” you begged, and your heart jumped when you watched him take a step closer, so you continued.

Unstoppable.

You'd make him believe in you.

“I keep thinking about the last time we kissed properly, in bed before that…night…you told me you didn't care if I had morning breath or not. I keep relieving that moment over and over again in my mind—remembering what it felt like to have your lips on mine… I miss that—I miss you and I want—

You were interrupted by Hoseok’s lips on yours. You don't know when he'd dropped his bag and ran to you, but you heard the thud and then he was there, his mouth pressed against yours, stopping anything you were about to say. It was a hard and languid peck, that you didn't have time to join, too in shock. Even as he pulled away and clutched at your waist, you stood there wide eyed and open mouthed.

It wasn't until you noticed he was blurry, that you realised your eyes were glazed over by tears, and you blinked them furiously away, annoyed they were ruining your sight of how beautiful Hoseok looked right now. You brought your hands up to his shirt and gripped at the collars tightly as he spoke—finally.

“I keep relieving that moment too,” he admitted, his voice in awe. “Do you mean it? You want to fall in love with me?”

You nodded crazily, laughing in happiness when you let go of one collar to place your hand over your heart, signalling to him how much.

“I can feel it right here.”

He grinned widely, his eyes shiny too now with unspilled tears. “Then, I’ll give you all the time in the world if it means I get to be with you forever.”

You went to reply, your brain a muddle of unsaid words, but his lips crashed against yours once again and you shut your eyes, revelling in the feeling you'd missed for so long.

It was alright. You could speak later on. You had all the time in the world…

It wasn't until the next morning when you checked your phone—still in the living room from last night, that you saw the message from Irene and you couldn't help but giggle and show it to Hoseok.

[Irene] you better tell him how you feel…Taehyung lied and told him the washer broke! So take your chance

#hoseok fanfic #bts fanfic #kwritersnet #yoongi fanfic #hoseok scenarios #bts scenarios #yoongi scenarios #floralseokjin:writings #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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I finally started reading Bones, and usually I do this reading the whole series but HOLY SHIT Chapter 1 was beautiful. "but you… you were different. You’re my best friend and you made me feel something…here,” she clutched her chest where her heart was and smiled fondly. “That scares me.” This by far made me feel everything, I visibly squealed and had to take a quick breather to fangirl over the cute mc, gah. THATLITTLEFONDSMILE. I'm looking forward to seeing their growth. now back to bingeing.

hahahaha, she won’t be very cute later on…. it’s quite angsty! good luck with finishing it all !! and thank you so much for your lovely comments :D they always make my day !!

#gwynethjodie #message #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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your fanfics are breaking my heart😭did yoongi really love y/n by the end of bones?

ah, i’m sorry about that! hm, seeing as i never wrote in his pov i left it open for interpretation. however for me, i do believe yoongi had realised he loved her, it was just too late, but imo, he wasn’t mature enough or ready for a relationship, so i see it has his wake up call!

#thank you for reading!#fic:bones #anon #message

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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Hi ^^ How are you doing? I hope you are doing okay? I just finished Bones in one go - its GoOd! I really like the ending, so many emotions! Thank you for this series! Ahh then I wanted to re-read Off limits 4, so i read it after>

hey ^^ i’m doing well thank you! i’m slowly getting through all the series of nct life atm lol. i hope you’re good too! aw, thank you! i really love bones, so i’m glad to hear that! and for off limits, there will definitely be more of jin’s pov… i’m just unsure if it will be in chapter 5 or 6 right now, but don’t fret because we will definitely see how he feels soon… there just may be some angst in the process LOL. thank you for reading xx

#mysr3 #fic:off limits #fic:bones #message

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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Bones Hoseok, why did it took this long for you to tell y/n that you love her? And how about Minah? What if she feel something to you also, are you going to break your her heart? And lastly, knowing what happened to y/n I really hope you will not hold it against her.

“I wish I had told Y/N that I liked her from the very beginning. I was an idiot to think she’d ever realise herself when she was so upset and distracted… Minah will be okay, we only went on one date and I knew in an instant, that although she’s a lovely girl, she’s not for me…she’s not Y/N… When I told her the truth, she understood. And regarding any bitterness towards Y/N, it will be hard to forget what went on between us, but I know that I am as much to blame as her. We both hurt and used each other but this is our second chance… I can’t wait to try again seriously… I really do love her.”

#writing this made me emo lol #anon #message #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 8 years ago

Text

— bones | 04 (m)

pairing— jung hoseok x reader // min yoongi x reader, college! hoseok, college! yoongi genre/warnings— angst, smut, friends with benefits words— 9,074

note— inspired by this song here.

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 ✓

After that night, you and Hoseok made it a regular thing. Your friendship stayed the same—even got better after you began having sex. It was ironic seeing as you'd once told Yoongi that you could never imagine being so intimate with a friend after the whole Kara thing; but back then it was different. You were in love with Yoongi. The thought of having sex with another guy, especially your best friend was practically gross. Of course, Hoseok was incredibly attractive but you never saw him like that.

Now…it was different. After seeing him naked so many times and in such a private way that it was only natural that sometimes you'd catch yourself looking at him whilst watching tv, or when he'd be on his laptop doing assignments and think ‘wow, he's hot.’ Feeling the flutter of pleasure every time you saw him come out the shower was new too, but you guessed that’s what happened when you began to have sex a lot. And it was a lot.

It became the norm for you, you guessed. You'd still act like friends but then you found yourself in his bed most nights, huddled under the covers. There was no need to find anyone else when you had him. Hoseok. Your best friend. You hadn't slept with anyone else since; you'd even found yourself blocking Namjoon’s number when he called one too many times. Hoseok was all you needed. That's what you told yourself. The best of both worlds. He was your best friend and someone you could have sex with. You didn't feel ashamed of yourself when you woke up next to him in the mornings. You couldn't, because you knew Hoseok appreciated you—valued you as a person. He cared about you, that's why he was doing this. This was new to you altogether.

You'd known there was sex where two people loved each other, you knew there was sex just for the hell of it, but now…this one was new. Hoseok and you didn't want anything like a relationship—a romantic one, but you enjoyed the comfort of being so close to him brought. It was hard to understand at first; wanting someone on a different kind of level, but when you both knew each other so well, it just kind of worked. If you thought long and hard enough about it, your head would probably hurt, and there'd be one too many questions asked, but for the here and now; everything was great. You couldn't even remember the last time you'd thought of Yoongi and gotten sad, because whenever you did, there was Hoseok. Your knight in shining armour.

Weeks passed, and you grew more and more closer, if that was possible. Maybe if you had taken a step back to reevaluate the situation you’d realise that something probably wasn't right with this set up, but you were happy for the first time in months. You didn't care if it was a strange or stupid idea. You'd obviously told Irene, she was someone, besides Hoseok, who had been with you through everything. She wanted you to be happy as much as the next person, but she still had her reservations about the Hoseok situation. She'd already noticed that you weren't going out as much, on the hunt for some pathetic guy to take back home, but she'd been less than thrilled to find out it was because you didn't need them anymore. You couldn't blame her, you guessed…

“You’re doing what?!” She practically spat her coffee back into the mug, and you panicked, shushing her quiet as you looked around the fairly busy coffee shopping, praying no one heard her.

“Keep your voice down, Irene,” you hissed.

“Sorry, it's just kind of hard to when you find out something this big,” she half-whispered, finding it difficult.

“It's not that big,” you said, rolling your eyes. Although, if you took a time out you'd see it was a pretty big deal, for people who didn't understand.

“Y/N! You're sleeping with your best friend—Of course it's a big deal!” She exclaimed, trying to keep her voice down. “How did it even happen anyway?”

“We were drunk,” you mumbled, not looking her in the eyes, you didn't need another lecture.

“Oh, wow,” she said sarcastically, eyes wide. “Great going, Y/N.”

“That was just the first time,” you tried to explain, realising how stupid it sounded coming out of your mouth. “The other times weren't like that.”

She sighed then, not even able to comprehend anything. “I really can't believe you're doing this.”

“It's helping, Rene,” you said gently, knowing she'd understand what you meant. For the first time in weeks, Yoongi was becoming a distant memory, and the ache in your heart was more like a twinge now.

“And what's gonna happen when you're completely over dick face?” She deadpanned, knowing who she was referring to instantly—dick face, Yoongi’s beautiful nickname. “You’ll just be like “thank you, Hobi’ and he’ll be like ‘No problem, glad I could help, bye now—let's carry on being best friends for life.’” She mimicked your voices and you bit the inside of your cheek to expel the irritation that was flowing through you. However, it was more irritation at yourself, not Irene. She was probably right—what would happen?

“I don't know, I haven't thought that far ahead,” you admitted, knowing that you should be completely honest with her.

“Well you need to!” She scolded, voice dangerously high again and you shot her a look to shut up. “Trust me, these kind of relationships never end well. What if you catch feelings for him? What if he's already caught them for you?”

“That's not going to happen!” You dismissed. As if. The idea was absurd. “We’re best friends. We’re comfortable around each other and…yeah…” you trailed off, there wasn't much more you could say.

“Y/N, me and you are best friends too, but you don't see me offering to help heal your heart by sleeping with you—Trust me, it's recipe for disaster.” She quipped, and you looked down at your coffee. This conversation was getting too serious, so you added some light-hearted humour into the mix.

“No offence or anything, Irene, you're pretty and all, but I don't want to sleep with you. Thanks for the offer though,” you grinned, and she shot you a look, not in the mood for joking around it seemed. She was worried for you, you could tell.

“Just don't say I didn't warn you,” she advised, “if this back fires who's gonna get you out of your slump then?”

You didn't listen, obviously. You thought you knew better. Of course, you did! You and Hoseok were best friends and you understood each other. That's all that mattered. Irene didn't live with him every single day of the week. She didn't know how your friendship was. She knew nothing and you knew everything… Nothing bad would happen; you'd take it one day at a time…

“I'm g-gonna cum, Y/N,” Hoseok moaned, his hands entwining in your hair as you looked up at him from between his legs, his eyes closed and his mouth open in silent pleasure. He always looked good like this, and you welcomed the fuzzy feeling in your stomach that came with it.

“Don't stop,” he added. As if you would, you thought, but only moaned around him as he lost himself.

Somehow you'd found yourself spending all weekend in bed, only pausing “activities” to grab something to eat or watch reruns on Netflix. It was great when it was just the two of you in your own little word and you'd grown so comfortable that imagining not having Hoseok like this, was just ridiculous. In fact, you couldn't believe you hadn't done it before. You would have saved yourself a lot less heartache if you'd only had Hoseok in your life…

“You're amazing, do you know that?” Hoseok grinned as you crawled up his body to kiss him and you giggled at his delirious state.

“You're just saying that because I sucked you off,” you quipped teasingly, “men are so fickle.”

“That is NOT true,” he exclaimed over dramatically, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you to his body, rubbing his face in the crook of your neck as you being to laugh hysterically, beyond ticklish. “You are very amazing!”

“Get lost,” you giggled, pushing away from his grip as he let you go, a wide smile still on his face and your heart stilled for a moment. Thanks to Hoseok you were beginning to realise that there was actually nothing wrong with you at all. You were perfectly fine. Just because certain people didn't want you in their life didn't mean there was anything wrong with you. At least someone wanted you. Hoseok did.

You went to say something, not even knowing what it was going to be, but knew it would be some sort of thank you to him. You hadn't really sounded your gratitude towards him since you'd made things ‘official’. Official friends with benefits—it was laughable to say out loud. However, as you went to speak his phone buzzed on his nightstand, signalling he'd received a text. He sighed a little in annoyance, but picked it up anyway—that was Hoseok, he couldn't leave anyone waiting, and you fell back on your butt watching him read the message and chuckle quietly, before beginning to type out a reply.

“Who's that?” You asked, taking interest as you watched him slid his underwear back up his hips with his free hand.

“Oh—just some girl,” he shrugged absentmindedly, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to think of a response to send back.

A girl? You couldn't and didn't have the right to feel a pang of jealousy in your chest but that's exactly what you did feel. He was texting some girl? Where had he even met her? He was always with you. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, telling yourself to stop being irrational. Hoseok didn't owe you anything. You guys were nothing but friends who had sex. You didn't even see him in that way, so you didn't have the right to feel jealous. If anything, it was because you felt sorry for the girl in question. She wouldn't know your history with Hoseok and that would be awkward if anything became more serious between the two of them. Not that it would…because they were just texting, right?

“Oh—where did you meet her?” You asked, trying to make your voice light and friendly, ignoring the constricting of your chest. You hadn't felt like this in a while and you began to panic.

“I haven't yet,” he explained, dropping his phone in his lap, reply still half written. “Taehyung said he wanted to set me up on a blind date and he give the girl my number, we've been texting for a couple of days. She's cool,” he added, smiling genuinely.

You couldn't tell if she was cool because he liked her, or just because it was Hoseok—he liked everyone unless they did something to hurt him or his family, so you were just as confused as ever, especially because it had been Taehyung who had wanted to set him up on a date.

“Taehyung?” You nudged, wanting to know more.

It was odd to you because Taehyung knew about you and Hoseok. He'd pried it out of him one night when they were drunk, Taehyung had said so himself. Why would he want to set Hoseok up on a date if he knew you two were involved? It didn't make sense. Maybe he thought you guys weren't a big deal…who knew, but you couldn't help but feel a little put out. You thought Taehyung was your friend, granted you'd met him through Hoseok, but still…

“Yeah…er…” Hoseok trailed off, beginning to look awkward and you shifted uncomfortably, watching pick up his phone and drop his gaze to the screen. “He just said that it's been a while since I went on a date, that's all.”

Why would he need to go on a date, if he was with you? The thought was in your head before you stop it and you cursed yourself. Why were you acting so crazy? You didn't own Hoseok. He could do whatever he pleased, but it still hurt to know that he had been talking to someone else for a couple of days and hadn't told you. You were best friends, he was supposed to tell you everything.

“Are you going to then?”

“Huh?” He asked, looking up at you, acting as if he wasn't paying attention.

“Are you going on a date with this girl?” You pressed, wincing when your tone came out harsher than you intended.

“Oh…I don't know,” he brushed off, “she's messaged me now to ask if I wanna catch a movie tomorrow night, but I don't know…we have that essay to be in my Wednesday and I've only written like, a paragraph.”

You felt relief wash over you a bit, happy that he was thinking of saying no, and then you paused, wondering if you should add something to the conversation. Against your better judgement, you shook your head and went for it.

“It would probably be weird anyway,” and Hoseok looked up at you again, his attention on you fully now. “Dating someone but having sex with your best friend at the same time…unless you wanted to end this thing between us…?”

You cringed at how manipulative you were being, even though that wasn't what you were meaning to do. You were just genuinely curious about the state of your arrangement. You didn't want to date anyone else, so it would be nice to know if Hoseok intended to do the same. You couldn't share a man. You told yourself that's what all this was, and ignored the voice in your head that told you, you were reminding yourself of a certain someone…the behaviour of Yoongi.

“No!” Hoseok exclaimed suddenly, seemingly shocked by the idea of ending what you guys had. “Of course I don't want to do that… You're actually right. It would be weird, wouldn't it?” He added, to himself almost, as he began to get deep in thought.

“It wouldn't be fair on Minah…or you,” he spoke quietly.

Minah. That was her name. You wondered if she and Hoseok would get on very well. Maybe she was the one and you were holding him back just because you depended on him. Unhealthy, and Irene’s words rang inside your brain. Trust me, it's recipe for disaster. Were you being unfair? Probably. But if Hoseok wanted this too, what was the problem? He'd been the one to come to you, after all. Not the other way around.

“Okay,” he nodded to himself. “I'm just gonna say I'm busy,” and with that he typed out his reply, pressing send quickly and then turning off his phone altogether before placing it back in the nightstand.

You felt guilt wash over you. What had you done? It was his decision, right? If he'd wanted to go on the date he would have just said yes… You smiled at him when you caught him doing the same, his fringe in his eyes and you pushed yourself out of the negative thoughts. You guys were alright. You would always be alright.

“What?” You asked coyly, when his smile turned mischievous.

“Nothing,” he faked innocence, before pouncing on you and you shrieked out, feeling his mouth on your neck, the ticklish feeling back again. “I just realised I haven't returned the favour yet…” he whispered insinuatingly, his fingers already at your underwear as he began to pull them down, and your anxiety was replaced with arousal, butterflies in your stomach as Hoseok kissed down your chest.

So, things just stayed the same after that. He never brought up Minah again and you just went along with it, happy that things were working out. You were probably living in your own little bubble, that stupidly, you were about time pop tonight.

It was a Saturday and you'd gone out for a few drinks with Hoseok and a couple of your friends. Irene couldn't make it, but there was a couple more of you, including Taehyung. Not that it mattered you were with friends because you stuck by Hoseok’s side like glue. This wasn't the first time you'd been out since you and Hoseok had made your little agreement, but it was one in a while and you'd been so distracted lately—so happy, dare you say, that you hadn't thought of the possibility of seeing Yoongi around. You hadn't seen him since that night where he was sucking face with his new girlfriend and in a bid to move on fully, and on Hoseok’s suggestion, you'd deleted him on Facebook and any other social media you could think of.

It didn't mean you could block him from your real life though, and here he was tonight, sitting at the back of the bar with his friends. You recognised some of them, mainly Jin. You and Hoseok were sitting on the stools by the bar, and in some sort of sick coincidence it reminded you of how you first met. He was even looking in your direction, his forehead creased with some sort of emotion that you couldn't read. The feeling was back—a mixture of dread and sadness, that you had easily forgotten about for a few weeks, and your chest felt instantly heavy, a lump in your throat.

This wasn't fair. You were supposed to be over him by now, but seeing him in person just made the feelings you'd been pushing down float back to the surface. Would you ever be able to get over him? Or were you destined to feel this heart ache forever? The feeling was suffocating and you realised you'd been kidding yourself this whole time. You could never heal your heart with sex—not even with your best friend.

Hoseok hadn't noticed that Yoongi was there, his back turned to him and you felt his hand at your knee, nudging you to get your attention.

“Earth to Y/N—were you even listening to anything I was saying just now?” He joked and you brought your attention back to him, trying to hide the obvious grimace on your face.

You met his warm brown eyes, instantly feeling yourself calm down a little. It would all be okay. Hoseok would get you through this. There was no need to feel this way when you had him. Your best friend—and you grabbed his hand on your knee, entwining your fingers. He stiffened for a moment, watching you intently to gauge what was up with you. You never were this touchy feely in public, but he shrugged it off and then squeezed your hand.

“What's up?” He murmured lowly, leaning into you, your knees now grazing against each other.

“I-I want to go home,” you whispered, trying to make him not catch on why you wanted to leave so soon, and he frowned a little, about to ask why, but you let your other hand run up his chest, giving him your best suggestive smile—anything to distract his attention and get you out of here before he noticed Yoongi was behind him. You weren't sure why you didn't want him to know, maybe you just didn't want him to know you were still not over him. It was embarrassing and you just wanted to go and hide from your problems.

“You,” was all you uttered, and Hoseok’s face flashed with surprise, before he chuckled quietly, leaning in towards your ear to speak above the music, one of his hands wrapping around your waist.

“You’re trying to drive me crazy,” he teased and for a moment you smirked, feeling the effect of his low voice in the form of flutters in your stomach, but then you caught Yoongi’s eyes from across the room and a jolt of something else hit you.

He looked jealous. More than jealous—infuriated, maybe, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he shot daggers your way. The feeling was invigorating. You had this much power over him? After all this time thinking you were nothing to him, he was here being jealous? You had power and you wanted more, and without thinking of the repercussions—mainly Hoseok’s feelings, you turned your head to face him, catching his cheek with your lips.

“W-Wha—” he went to ask, before trailing off, seeing the look on your face, it was hungry for something, but not for what he thought—him…more like hungry for revenge.

You knew why he was so shocked. This was totally new all together—kissing here in public, when only Taehyung knew about you, but you didn't care. You didn't care what people thought, bar one person and you wanted Yoongi to feel how you'd been feeling for the past few months. You remembered how he'd been suspicious of your friendship with Hoseok from the very beginning, but back then you had shrugged him off. It was ridiculous, the idea of you and your best friend, but now not so much. Of course it had happened after Yoongi, but he didn't need to know that. Let him think what he wanted. He deserved it.

You pecked at Hoseok’s lips this time, feeling his pucker against them almost instantly and then you were deepening the kiss, desperate for Yoongi to see the way you clung to him, your hand leaving Hoseok’s to wrap around his neck and pull him closer. You peeked past his shoulder and felt triumph wash over you as you saw Yoongi still sat there staring, his stare softer now as he took the view in. Was he sad? Was he miserable? Did he now know how you'd felt these past months? Did he get it now?

“O-Okay, maybe we should go now, huh?” Hoseok whispered, breaking apart from you, his gaze on your parted lips, but you were too preoccupied with still looking at Yoongi and Hoseok followed you, realising you were staring at something behind him, turning around to see the man that had your upmost attention. There was a silence, and then you realised your mistake, like you'd been in trance. However, it was too late, you heard the sigh of shock leave Hoseok’s mouth.

“You have got to be kidding me, Y/N!” He practically shouted and you jumped a little, your attention back on him fully, as he turned to face you, eyes wide in anger.

“I-I,” you tried to explain, but only ended up lying. “I only just saw him.”

Hoseok sneered. He knew you were lying, he could read you like a book. You felt guilt wash over you, embarrassed by your actions.

“Bullshit!” He exclaimed and you winced at his tone, reaching out for him when he suddenly got up.

“Wait—where are you going?” You begged, gripping onto his jumper, but he shrugged you off.

“I'm leaving! I-I—God, I really can't believe you,” he got out, flustered by what seemed like a lot of emotions.

“I’ll come with you,” you said, already getting up. “We can talk about this at home.”

“NO!” He practically bellowed, “sit down and stay!” and you sat automatically, listening because you were so in shock at his tone. He'd never spoken to you like this, and you'd expected him to be annoyed, but not to this extent—not this angry.

“Hobi, don't go—

“I am so fucking stupid,” he exclaimed, laughing bitterly and you looked at him confused, unsure of what he meant. “I agreed to help you get over that fucker, not make him jealous!”

You tried to open your mouth and tell him it was a mistake. That it wasn't your intention at all to make Yoongi jealous, but seeing him tonight had been a moment of weakness. You hadn't been using Hoseok. How could you? He was your best friend and he meant everything to you. Didn't he understand what you were going through right now? However, no words came out. You couldn't explain yourself, because it all sounded like excuses.

“Well, I hope it worked—good luck finding out!”

“Hoseok!” You called, watching him turn around and storm off, although it came to no avail, and as you watched him leave, his words ringing heavy in your ears, you realised how pathetic you must look right now.

Yoongi was probably still watching—now in glee at your pathetic life. Everything you did turned to shit and it was probably all down to you. Pathetic, weak Y/N, who was messing up one type of relationship to the next. You shook your head, blinking away pitiful tears as you grabbed your bag from the bar and fled too, not even looking back to find your friends—too embarrassed anyway?

Once outside, you pulled your phone out to call Hoseok. He couldn't be this angry at you, he had to forgive you. He had to listen to you, now that you had some time to collect your thoughts. Maybe you could catch up with him on his way back home and talk on the way back? However, as you learnt against the wall outside, hearing the call ring on and on, you realised he was definitely ignoring you, and you groaned in frustration, gripping your hair in your hands. You shoved your phone back in your bag, about to start jogging back home when you heard a voice from behind you. A familiar one that had your heart aching and racing all over again—Yoongi’s.

“Lovers’ tiff?”

You turned around slowly, besides your better judgement, knowing you should have just walked away, because when you faced him you felt yourself crumble a little bit. This was the first time you had actually spoken to each other since the break up, expect for a couple of texts in the days after it where you had tried to change his mind.

He still looked as good as ever, only this time his hair was blondey grey and you realised he must have dyed it since you last saw him around. It wasn't fair. Why did your heart still tighten when you saw him? His lips were pursed, his features still harsh and angry as he stared at you, but you didn't feel as gleeful as you had back at the bar before Hoseok found out. You were worn out.

“I bet you'd love that” you shot, about to turn around and leave but you saw the look of shock on his face, taken aback by something and then he frowned.

“So you guys are together then? What happened to the idea of sleeping with friends being disgusting to you?”

You shook your head, scoffing, “things change, Yoongi. I thought you of all people would know that.”

“Well how long has it been going on for?” He practically interrogated and you rolled your eyes, wanting him to just leave you alone.

“We’re not even together, okay? It's just…nothing—that's what me and Hoseok are—nothing.”

“If you're nothing why did he run out angry at you for trying to make me jealous?” Yoongi asked, cocking an eyebrow, seemingly more comfortable now that he knew you and Hoseok weren't together, and you felt your face flush, realising he knew what you'd been trying to do.

“Not that I'm complaining,” he shrugged, eye contact back as you looked up at him. “it worked. I've never felt more jealous in my life watching you kiss him.”

Your head began to spin at his words, not having enough brain power to process what was going on right now. How long had you been waiting to get some sort of reaction out of him? Some sort of validation that you once meant the same to him as he did to you? And now that he was giving you a little something, no matter how small and stupid it was, you couldn't make any sense of it. You groaned, your head falling into your hands. You weren't even drunk but right now everything was spinning around you.

“Don't do that, Yoongi!” You warned quietly. “Don't say shit like that.”

“Why not?” He asked, taking a step closer to you, now mere centimetres from you. “It's the truth. All this time—

“No! After all these months, you can't just start speaking to me like nothing's happened—like you didn't break my heart and leave me,” you interrupted, your voice stronger now as you tried to express everything you had been bottling up for so long. Things you never got a chance to say to him and things you'd rather just not anyway, but they flew out your mouth in anger.

“I know I hurt you, Y/N, but I thought I was doing it for the right reasons,” he tried to explain and you scoffed again.

“You thought hurting me was for the right reasons?

“No! T-That came out wrong—I meant you were better off without me. I didn't deserve you—I still don't—

“Enough of your excuses, Yoongi,” you snapped, turning away to hide your face, already feeling tears prick at your eyes, overcome with emotion that you had tried to forget, but you realised no matter how much you thought you were over them, they still existed as fresh as if the break up happened yesterday. It was stupid, and you sniffed loudly, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

“Don't cry, please,” he murmured and he moved closer, his arm reaching for you that you tried to move away from but failed—you didn't want to, and then he was hugging you to him, your arms limply at your sides as you cried quietly into his chest.

Just like that you were reverted to the past, when you and Yoongi were together and in love. They may have only been fleeting moments in time but they had still existed once upon a time and with his scent filling your nostrils and the warmth of his body, you almost forgot about Hoseok—probably home by now, angry and upset.

“I know it's excuses, but it's the truth,” Yoongi continued, his voice barely audible. “B-But I don't know, it doesn't stop me missing you—which I do a lot.”

You wanted to tell him it was only because he'd just seen you kiss Hoseok—the guy he'd been jealous of the whole time you were together, but no words would come out. Mainly because he'd just admitted something you'd wanted to hear all this time. He had no reason to lie, so you believed him.

“I know I hurt you a lot and I know I probably don't deserve it,” he sighed, his arms wrapping around your waist and crushing you to him, before he carried on, “but can't we just talk some more.”

You looked up at him then, tears still in your eyes and staining your cheeks, but one of his hands came up to wipe them away and you shut your eyes, revelling in the feeling of his touch on your flesh. You were so used to Hoseok being the one to wipe away your tears that you were taken back by the kind action of Yoongi, his eyebrows creased in concern.

“Please?” He hummed, “we can go back to mine and I can try to apologise for everything.”

“I…” you trailed off, wanting to tell him no. That Hoseok would be at home and you needed to apologise to your best friend more than anything right now, but the idea of Yoongi finally explaining everything that had gone on made you desperate. Maybe closure was what you needed… Maybe closure would help you finally move on and be happy again, not living in the past and what ifs…

“Okay,” you agreed, “but only because I need to understand everything.”

“You will?” He smiled, relief washing over his face and you nodded, ignoring your better judgement. However, you wanted to know why Yoongi had left you high and dry without a proper explanation, so, you needed this.

The walk back to his was made in awkward silence, small talk unnecessary when you only wanted one thing that didn't go along the lines of ‘how are you?’ and when you made it there, you stood awkwardly by the door, looking around his once familiar apartment, memories flooding back with all the times you had spent there. You watched Yoongi sit on the sofa and motion for you to join him and you walked over stiffly, perched practically on the edge of the seat. You hadn't imagined being back here ever again and you were in shock.

Yoongi seemed just as awkward or speechless and he coughed to fill the silence, about to say something before your cell buzzed and you quickly took it out your bag, expecting it to be from Hoseok but your heart dipped when you saw Irene’s name, asking about how the night was going. You ignored the urge to laugh bitterly and instead turned your phone off altogether, defiant to get answers from Yoongi without distractions.

“Was that Hoseok?” He asked, looking over at you, trying to sound causal but you heard the bitterness in his voice.

“No, it was Irene,” you replied curtly, not sure if you should like that the fact that Yoongi was jealous or be annoyed by it, seeing as he didn't have the right to feel any way about your life when he had been the one to break your heart.

“How long have you and Hoseok…” he trailed off, letting the silence do the talking.

“A few weeks,” you shrugged.

“How—how did it happen?” He was full of the questions tonight for someone who said they wanted to apologise.

“I don't know, how did you and Kara happen the first time?” You replied sarcastically. “We were drunk and it just sort of went on from there,” you explained then, giving him what he wanted and he nodded slowly, looking down at his lap.

“Enough about me—I thought I was here for you to apologise,” you pressed and he looked back at you, his eyes wide before he sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

“I don't know where to start,” he admitted. “These past couple of months I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I thought that maybe if I dated someone else and got my mind off you that it would go away, but…Hyerin…it didn't work—it just made it worse because she's not you. No one is.”

Hyerin. That was her name. Yoongi’s new girlfriend—or ex now, you couldn't be sure seeing as you'd deleted him off every social media platform. Was he being truthful right now? He couldn't stop thinking about you? No one compared to you? Everything you'd wanted to hear was now falling out of his mouth in front of your very eyes. He looked up when you didn't say anything and found you staring at him, your gaze hard. What did he even want? What was his purpose to tell you all this?

“I miss you, Y/N.”

There they were, those three little words, and your heart swelled on its own accord. You had no control over it and you cursed at how easy your body was to bend at Yoongi’s words. Your brain wouldn't though and you swallowed back the lump in your throat to speak.

“Why didn't you say sooner?—it's a bit convenient tonight now that you've seen me with Hobi.”

“I didn't think I had the right to. That night a few weeks ago when I'd saw you down town—I wanted to speak to you so bad, but…I didn't want to annoy you—I didn't want to upset you.” He explained and you dug your nails into your thigh trying to calm yourself.

That night when you'd seen him with his new girlfriend—Hyerin? The night you had Hoseok had slept together again? What would have happened if Yoongi had decided to talk to you that night? Apologised to you? Would it have turned out any differently? You wanted the what ifs to end, but instead you had just gotten more.

“And then when I went to reach out to you these last couple of weeks I found out you'd blocked me on everything and I just…thought it was a sign that me and you weren't allowed to be—but seeing you with Hoseok tonight. That should be me—not him. I couldn't hold it in anymore.”

You froze, letting his words sink in. You couldn't believe he'd been feeling this way all this time. Whilst you were heartbroken, he could have maybe fixed it with a few simple words…but was it as simple as that…? Could that really be enough?

“Say something please, even if it's just to yell at me…please,” he begged after a few moments and you sighed loudly, in frustration, feeling overwhelmed.

“What do you want me to say? This is too much Yoongi!” You exclaimed. “How is this going to end? Me telling you that I've missed you too—because I have! Every single day. You don't know how hard I tried to forget you ever existed but I couldn't… Is that what you want?! What do you want from me?” You demanded, your voice breaking in frustration.

“I-I don't know…I just know that I can't shake you. I've never felt like this about anyone before. I can't stop thinking about you. I thought I was doing the right thing breaking up with you because I couldn't give you what you wanted. It was too serious and you deserved someone who could give you the world. That's not me, Y/N…”

“Then why are you telling me this now? If it won't make a difference. Why are you telling me you miss me if you still don't want me?”

You were on the verge of tears again, not understanding what he was getting at. Then again, you had never understood him, but before you could say it out loud, you felt his hands grip your own, clutching at them and forcing you to look at him.

“I do want you! I want to be that person for you. I want to change…for you…” his eyes were wide, begging you and you sat open mouthed, trying to take it all in. Everything you had wanted him to say was leaving his mouth and your heart began to race rapidly, a strange type of comfort washing over you.

“What does that mean?” You whispered.

“It means I want you to give us another go…I want you to give me another go. I want a second chance. I'm so, so sorry about how I handled everything before, but I was stupid and scared. I want to be able to love you right—like you deserve!”

Your hands were now shaking visibly, the word love making your head spin. He wanted to love you again? He wanted to get back together? After all this time, all the hurt, all the tears…he wanted it just to go away and back to how it was...?

“I don't know, Yoongi…you hurt me—a lot,” you admitted, your voice breaking again and he nodded rapidly, moving closer to you so that your legs mashed together and it suddenly reminded you of how yours and Hoseok’s had touched tonight.

Hoseok.

You'd forgotten about him and you realised you should probably leave. You needed to leave and just think about everything Yoongi had said. You needed to explain it to Hoseok because for some unexplainable reason you felt like you were betraying him—using him and you tried to tell Yoongi but he was interrupting you, bringing your hands to his mouth to kiss your fingers and you buckled at the feel of his lips on you again—even if it was just your fingers.

“I know I did—and I'm going to be forever sorry,” he murmured against them, “but I want to spend forever if I have to, making it up to you! If you let me—

“Yoongi—

“We can take it as slow as you want—you can even just text me for the time being if you can't bear to see my ugly face right now,” he joked and you couldn't help but let out a tiny giggle.

“Please, Y/N,” he pleaded, “just say we can try…”

You stared at him, watching him look at you hopefully. You'd been under the impression that the closure would help you move on, but now it had turned into something else. How many nights had you imagined Yoongi saying the exact same words to you and all you had to do was kiss Hoseok in front of him. You felt guilty at the thought of Hoseok back at home, but wouldn't he want to see his best friend happy? He may be angry at you for a week or so, but once you explained that it was a mistake, that you hadn't meant to use him to make Yoongi jealous he should understand.

You took a deep breath, holding it in as you nodded vigorously and Yoongi grin in delight, a sigh of relief leaving him as he kissed your hands again, but this time trailing his mouth up your wrist and arm, murmuring thank you as he went and you giggled, the noise sounding natural once again, and you let him reach your shoulder, your heart fluttering as he found your neck, placing small pecks onto your skin that had you shuddering in pleasure, craning your neck to the side to grant him more access.

For the first time in months your heart began to feel lighter again, the heavy weight lifted with each touch of is lips and you felt him drop his hands to your waist, clutching you to him as he moved along your jaw and then he pulled back, watching your reaction as he silently asked you what you'd been craving for so long. You nodded, watching his mouth hover over yours before finally pressing it against your soft skin and you melted, your hands wrapping around his neck straight away as you fell into the feeling—the feeling you thought you wouldn't ever get to have again.

“Wait—wait,” you stopped him, pulling back a little to meet his confused expression and you suddenly became shy, but the thought had appeared before you could stop it. You needed to know, just to make sure. “Are you…are you and Hyerin over?”

Maybe it was obvious seeing as he was asking you back, but you needed to make sure and you watched his eyes flicker slightly before he nodded, a gruff ‘yes’ leaving him and you inwardly sighed in relief, all you needed to place your lips back on his again and carry on the kiss, your tongue slipping across the seams and he moaned a little, parting them instantly to meet your muscle with his, pressing them together as they moved. He tasted like the mint chewing gum he always used to chew, merged with the alcohol he had drunk tonight and you couldn't think of anything better, letting him take control, as his hands wondered to your hips, riding up your shirt to settle on your sides and you instantly felt very hot, the touched you’d missed so much back once again. You knew he'd said you could take it slow but the moment was getting to you and it had been so long since the last time you'd had all of him, you were getting desperate. You'd forgotten what it was like and you needed to remember.

You took one of your hands to run down his chest, before gripping his t-shirt at the bottom and riding it up, trying to move your hips so that you could graze against him, and he pulled away from you to look down at your bodies, a slight smile on his face, “we don't have to do this—sorry, I got carried away. We should just talk some more, there so much I want to say that I haven't yet.”

“We can talk tomorrow,” you grinned, kissing his lips before pulling back, “and the next,” kissing him again, “and the next after that too—don't you want me after all this time?” You teased and he chuckled, his hands shifting higher up your chest.

“I've wanted nothing more for a long time,” and your heart jumped about, the feeling still foreign. “Let's go to the bed then. I don't want our first time in a while to be on my shitty sofa—Come on,” and with that he was standing up, reaching his hand out so you could take it.

In some ways this reminded you of your first time, just as nervous and giddy as then when he'd taken you home after meeting at the club, his touch even felt a little foreign after so many months apart, but you welcomed it with open arms as he stopped by his bed and kissed you again, a little harder this time, now that he knew where it was going and you felt his fingers at the hem of your shirt, bunching it up your stomach before pulling it off and bending to kiss your stomach—wet, warm kisses that had you giggling as they tickled, before he kissed up your cleavage, his arms wrapping around your back to unclasp your bra and then he was kissing over your breasts.

He sat you down on the bed, ripping his own t-shirt off as you laid down, revelling in the memory of his soft bed and the many times you'd spent on it, watching him kneel on the bed and hover over you, finding your lips again as his fingers began fumbling with your jeans, trying to unbutton them in a frenzied rush.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered, groaning into the kiss and you grinned, your own hands coming down to unbutton his pants too, feeling his erection already against your wrist.

“I've missed you too,” you hummed, lifting up your butt so that he could shimmy your jeans and panties down at the same time, the same time you pulled his down and you risked getting tangled up.

He moved to pull yours down your legs first, leaving you fully naked as you watched him glance over your body, his face flushed as he began to pull his down too, leaving him just as bare as you. He lunged for his drawer and quickly searched for a condom, pulling one out and kneeling over your outstretched legs before he fumbled to open it, sighing in frustration as he failed to do so and you laughed, reaching out to still his shaking hands.

“Yoongi, it's okay,” you reassured. “I'm on the pill—just hurry up, I want to feel you,” you practically whined and he smiled sheepishly, something you'd never seen him do before and it made your heart beat a little erratically.

“Okay,” he nodded breathlessly, dropping the condom off the bed before he hovered over your body once again, taking a deep breath as he looked over you and then you felt his fingers smooth up your thigh, curling towards the inside, as he ran his fingers at your entrance, checking to see if you were ready. Of course, you were—you didn't need him to touch you to get you aroused and he groaned, taking that same hand to hold his dick before he pushed into you.

You moaned in relief and pleasure as he stretched you out, lifting your legs up to plant your feet on the bed as he slid all the way in, groaning and stilling when he bottomed out, his eyes shut as he revelled in the feeling, his hands reaching for your hips as he began to steadily thrust inside of you, causing you to arch your back.

“You feel better than I remember,” he got out and you smiled, reaching for his neck as you pulled him to you, connecting your lips once again, wanting to be attached in every way, moving your hips to meet his with every snap of his, his fingers digging into your flesh desperately as he pulled you closer, his breath shuddering against yours as your tongues swirled together.

“I can't believe we're really doing this again,” he admitted, pulling back to look between your bodies, watching them move together. “I thought I lost you forever.”

“Shush,” you stopped him, reconnecting your lips again, “it's not a dream,” you smiled, closing your eyes to lose yourself in the feeling, concentrating on every kiss and touch Yoongi gave you before you felt his thumb press against your clit, rubbing circles gently.

“I wanna cum together,” he mumbled against your mouth, guessing he was close by how sloppy his thrusts were becoming, the moment quick and passionate as you were both just as frantic for each other.

You let the feeling take over your body, the friction of his length against your walls and the pad of his thumb against your clit, Yoongi moving his head to watch you release around him before he buried it in your neck, panting loudly as he chased his own end, a low groan leaving him as he came inside of you, your arms around his waist, holding him to you as your heart swelled, feeling closer than possible to him.

Once you'd both calmed down he kissed you again, before rolling over onto his back, reaching under you to pull you to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as your head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“I never want to let you go again,” he hummed happily and you giggled, pressing a kiss to his chest before nuzzling in.

“I don't want you to ever let me go again,” you agreed, whispering before settling in and closing your eyes, waiting for sleep to wash over you, happiness spreading through your veins. This was it. A fresh start.

Only, sleep found it difficult to come to you for some reason. You were unsure why, seeing as you hadn’t felt this relaxed in a while, and even Yoongi was asleep by now; you could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest under your head. The more you lay there the more nervous you began to feel, an anxious niggling in the back of your brain as you thought back on the night. In some ways, it had been the most magical night, but in others, you began to feel guilty, remembering Hoseok. What was he doing right now? Waiting up for you? Or asleep now, still annoyed…still upset… For some reason, you began to feel as if you'd betrayed him, which was silly because you guys had only been sleeping together on a friends with benefits basis. He couldn't get hurt by this if it was just sex. You knew he'd only been doing it to help you get over a Yoongi. He wasn't his biggest fan, but once he saw that Yoongi had changed he'd be okay with it, surely? You were still in love with him, right? This was what you wanted.

But the more you thought of Hoseok the more you began to compare him and Yoongi. Hoseok’s skin felt smoother when you rested your head on his chest as you laid down to sleep. Come to think of it, you'd always slept soundly in Hoseok’s arms ever since you'd become involved…that would have to stop now. Now that you and Yoongi were starting things afresh. For some reason, you couldn't explain why you felt so disappointed by the realisation…

Deep in thought, still wrapped in Yoongi’s arms you began to hear a phone buzz somewhere in the room, and in some sort of daze, you got up, manoeuvring your way out of Yoongi’s grip to get up and put on your shirt, totally forgetting that you'd switched your phone off earlier. However, still, you walked to your bag and pulled it out, frowning in confusion when you remembered it was in fact off and then the buzz sounded again—a phone call.

It must have been Yoongi’s in his pants’ pocket. It was probably Jin calling to ask where he'd disappeared to and you looked over at Yoongi, smiling as you saw him roll over in his sleep, grunting cutely. You should just ignore the buzz and try to go to sleep. His bed looked inviting and you wanted to feel him close against your skin again, but then his cell buzzed once more. This time three consecutive ones, signalling text messages and you sighed. You'd never be able to sleep if this kept up. You should just read them and reply back to Jin, in case he was worried. That was fine, right? It wasn't pushing boundaries.

You crept over to Yoongi’s jeans on the floor beside his bed and sat down as you fished out his cell from the back pocket, the screen lighting up with yet another text and when you read the name that flashed up, your heart dropped.

Hyerin.

(2) missed calls. (4) new messages.

It was gone two in the morning, why was she contacting him so late if they'd broken up? Unless…

Yoongi’s flickering eyes appeared in your mind as you remembered back to earlier. You hadn't thought anything of it when you'd been deep in the moment; so happy that you were about to give things another go…everything you'd ever wanted…but now—now, it seemed like it could mean something different altogether.

Shadiness. Guiltiness. A lie.

You couldn't help yourself, and you quickly unlocked his screen. Yoongi was always stupid enough to never have a lock code, and you quickly opened his messages, your heart dropping further down your stomach and your throat becoming dry as you read the new ones from Hyerin repeatedly…

[Hyerin] why aren't you answering your phone? [Hyerin] Yoongi! [Hyerin] I went to the bar and Jin said you'd already left [Hyerin] baby????? Where are you

#yoongi smut #bts smut #kwritersnet #hoseok smut #bts fanfic #hoseok fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts scenarios #hoseok scenarios #yoongi scenarios #floralseokjin:writings #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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I just finished reading bones and it was great! I felt a little tearful at the end when Hoseok almost left y/n. Great work! Now I'm going to read your other works 👍👍

ahh thank you so much ~ i hope they don’t disappoint haha! but yeah, bones still makes me emo lol

#fic:bones #message #anon

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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Girl!! Bones was amazing! Ch. 4 was the most annoying and sad because she had to pick yoongi instead of hoseok. I was a little bumped out and cried because of that, and accidentally, woke my sister because of this story. 🙈😭😭😭😫 you're an amazing author and your writings are so good! Keep it up!

thank you so much

#fic:bones #message #anon

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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Bones Yoongi, i guess you really didn't love y/n bec you didn't even try to pursue her. It is really a big fat lie, am I right?

“Look, you can believe what you like, but I’m sure I loved her. You don’t what you have until its gone, right? But there’s no point pursuing her because she doesn’t want me anymore… I hurt her, I don’t deserve her. That’s all there is to it.”

#lol why am I so slow at these!!#they've been here for a week #whoops #anon #message #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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gIRL IM SCREAMING IM ONLY ONE PART INTO BONES AND IM FUCKING SCREAMING I ALREADY KNOW THAT MY MAN HOSEOK DESERVES BETTER IF HOSEOK DOESNT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING IM SUIN Y/N

LMAO PLEASE READ IT ALL BEFORE SUING MY ASS !!!

#thank you for reading lol #anon #message #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 7 years ago

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Hi! I just finished reading bones and I really really loved the story. I love how you worked it out! But idk if it's just me but I didn't really like the mc character. In my honest opinion I dont think she should have ended up with either of them because I just thought she was really selfish and poor Hobi deserved someone way better .Regardless it was really beautifully written and I really enjoyed the story!The characterization of all of them was great. I'm looking forward to reading more stuff

That’s fine you think that way! I feel like people read situations differently. You’re correct, the Oc was selfish, but in her defence she had no clue Hoseok was in love with her. Their sexual relationship was built on the premise of friends with benefits, she didn’t know any different, especially because she was so caught up with her feelings for Yoongi. If anything, Hoseok was selfish too. He knew about her feeling for Yoongi, but still decided he would try to change her mind and try to fix her. He probably should have been honest straight away (but obviously it wouldn’t have worked out quite well…), instead he decided to have his “selfish” moments with her when she knew nothing of his real feelings. They were best friends, who was she to know any different? Bones was a story of characters that were all flawed—just like real life. No one is perfect. Good people make mistakes; it doesn’t mean they are evil and shouldn’t be given a second chances or a happy ending. In my head the Oc had every right to act the way she did. She was confused and conflicted, but she knew her feelings for Hoseok in the end were more than just friendship. Sometimes the right guy is right under your nose, you just never realised! It was Hoseok’s decision entirely to give her a chance and let her fall in love with him properly… and he picked to do so. I understand that I probably have a soft spot for my characters, as I make them up in my head and understand every thought and feeling they have (even if I don’t end up writing them all down lol.) I also understand that when it’s the Oc, it’s easier for people to see their bad side because you have no affinity towards her. With Bts’ characters it’s different because we already know them as real life people. It’s easier to forgive them for mistakes in fiction for that :’) I think everyone in Bones was selfish in their own way: Oc, Hoseok and Yoongi. But for me, that just makes for more complex reading. I hate writing painfully perfect characters. Everyone has their selfish side!

Thank your for reading, I honestly love messages like these because I get to debate lol. It’s interesting seeing other people’s views on my fics and how different people read in between the lines. I find it really interesting, and in this story a lot of people were torn with my ending. Maybe Oc should have ended up alone, maybe she should have forgiven Yoongi and given him a second chance, maybe Hoseok should have been left heartbroken and then ultimately moved on… In my mind, Oc and Hoseok were always going to end up together :’)

#I need to write a thesis on my own story lmao #I love Bones so much #like wow #thank you for your message #anon #message #fic:bones

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floralseokjin · 8 years ago

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— bones | 03 (m)

pairing— jung hoseok x reader // min yoongi x reader, college! hoseok, college! yoongi genre/warnings— angst, smut, friends with benefits words— 9,356

note— inspired by this song here.

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 ✓

Falling in love with Yoongi came easily. There was no real moment where you thought “oh, I’m in love!” More just a series of moments where you found yourself falling deeper and deeper for him; waking up thinking of him, counting down the minutes until you saw him again, going to sleep still thinking of him… the list was endless, and you slowly began to lose yourself, only seeing the track that lead to him.

After that night in his car, things had gone from strength to strength, and over the next couple of weeks your hook ups turned to dating—if you could call it that. Yoongi was never one to put labels on things and he had you guessing most days, but one thing was for sure, you knew he liked you too. Why else would he want to spend every day with you? You were either over his or he over yours—much to Hoseok’s dismay.

You got that he was being over protective over you, seeing as he was your best friend—a male one at that, and he knew how other men worked, but he needn’t worry anyway because you could handle yourself. Even if Yoongi and you hadn’t put a label on your relationship yet, there was no need to throw a hissy fit about it—you were happy with the way things were. However, for some reason Hoseok wouldn’t let it lie, and you didn’t even understand his looks of displeasure whenever he looked at you and Yoongi anymore. None of it made sense—you were a big girl—an adult and you could handle yourself.

His look wasn’t displeased one night, though, when he came back from hanging out with his friends, letting himself in with his key as he jumped a little in fright when he saw you lounging in the sofa, a family size bag of chips in your lap as you ate two at a time. He wasn’t expecting you to be up this late—it was gone one in the morning already.

“Have fun?” You asked, watching him shake of his jacket and put his keys in the bowl on the stand, kicking his shoes off clumsily and when he looked up, you saw the look in his eyes—uncertainty in them this time.

“Yeah…it was good,” he shrugged, walking towards you and you moved your legs in the air so he could sit next to you and then you placed them off over his lap, offering him the bag of chips to which he declined, shaking his head.

“Yoongi was there tonight,” he slipped in, trying to sound nonchalant, his eyes not even on your face.

You paused. You already knew that. That’s why you were here on the sofa—comfort eating. Yoongi rarely invited you out with him and his friends unless you had made plans with yours and met up, but that still didn’t stop you from feeling upset. It was stupid really, but you guess that’s what came with feelings.

“Yeah, I know,” you shrugged, trying to sound casual, because that’s what you were…casual. You guys were in a casual relationship, having casual sex, being casual. It was all good.

“It was just a group of guys, Kyunho…and I think his name is Jin?” You nodded, agreeing with him, the usual then. “…and some girls, like his friends obviously…”

Hoseok was trying to sound casual, but the way he questioned obviously just made it seem like he was trying to slip something in when he didn’t know if he needed to warn you or not. He didn’t need to, he was wasting his time.

“If one of those girl’s name is Rebeca then they are his friends, yes.” You replied tartly.

Truth was, the thought of Yoongi out made you feel a little sick. Not because of this Rebeca, but because of some other girl—another one of his friends, Kara. She was, and what can only be described as, his past fuck buddy—until you turned up. He had told you quite openly before you met his group of friends, and the thought made you feel uncomfortable. It was awkward to know he still hung around with her, even after he had replaced her with you, and even though he swore that he didn’t see her like that—that she was just some fun to help him get over his past relationship—him being around her 24/7 didn’t board well with you. Not that you could be bothered anyway, because well—you guys weren’t official, but whatever—he didn’t invite you out and you knew he was with her. It hurt.

You would never tell Hoseok that though, it would be recipe for disaster. You weren’t even sure why he was always so judgmental in the first place. Maybe he knew you were falling for Yoongi as each day passed. He could probably sense it. The way you acted around him, spoke about him—defended him. It was plain to see. You wanted something serious with Yoongi. You wanted a relationship. It had been near two months since you guys had first met and it was near impossible not to start falling with every look and touch he gave you. Again, you would never tell Hoseok this, but it looked like best friends could read minds when they wanted to, anyway.

“So… I’m confused,” he feigned slowly, and you knew he was faking it because like you said—best friends could read minds. “What are you guys again?”

He still wasn’t looking at you and you sighed, putting your bag of chips down. You didn’t want to have this talk again. “Hobi…”

“What? It’s a valid question,” he defended, finally looking you in the eyes, and instantly, like a coward, you looked away. If he was going to stand his ground, you were going to close up. It always happened when you tried to act as if something didn’t bother you.

“C’mon, Y/N,” he urged, not letting up. “You’ve known him for two months and nothing has progressed.”

“That’s not true,” you mumbled, knowing it was.

He gave you a pointed look, one that said he didn’t believe you, and carried on when you had nothing more to say. “Is he ever going to ask you to be his girlfriend? I don’t know—make it official?”

Classic Hoseok. Always thinking in black and white. Life wasn’t that simple, but to him it was. He’d only had one relationship since you’d known him and within a month they were already in a ‘official’. He meant every word he said. He liked to do things the proper way, but maybe he needed to understand that not everyone was like that. Yoongi wasn't…and you weren’t—or so you kept telling yourself.

“You don’t get it,” you sighed, still not looking him in the eyes as you fidgeted. “It’s not like that. It’s fine the way things are.”

He was back at it with the judging looks as you stupidly looked up to see what was taking him so long to reply and suddenly an outpour fell from his mouth.

“It’s fine just hanging out with him when he wants to? It’s fine just fucking him but nothing more—

“Hoseok!” You interrupted in outrage, not quite believing your ears, but he carried on anyway.

“It’s fine whilst you’re here miserable and he’s out having fun with his friends, because for some reason he doesn’t mix sex with friendship.”

You were silent then, because in your case it was true, but not for someone like Kara. She got to be his friend and had fucked him more times than you cared to imagine, but Hoseok didn’t know that and there was no way you were telling him. He didn’t need any more fuel to ignite the fire. Instead you shook him off.

“You should really stop pushing your views and principles on other people, do you know that?” You got out, finding yourself getting over defensive. “Not everyone thinks like you, Hoseok. Have you ever stopped to think maybe I like the way things are? Maybe I like just fucking him?”

Maybe you were over sharing, but you didn’t care. If you could make Hoseok believe you liked the way things were, maybe you could too, and you threw your legs off him, shifting to get up, and he grimaced at your vulgarity before he stuttered, watching you leave. “W-Where are you going? Oh come on, don’t be like this.”

“I’m going to sleep—It’s late and I have work tomorrow morning,” you replied curtly. “That’s why I didn’t go out tonight.”

Yeah, right…

You did have work, but if truth be told you would have jumped at the chance to go out with Yoongi, but like hell were you going to admit to that. Instead, you just threw yourself on your bed and tried to convince yourself that you were happy with the way things were. You didn’t need to be Yoongi’s girlfriend to be happy, but that was easier thought than done…

Three days later it was still playing on your mind, and it became even worse when you finally saw Yoongi again. He’d invited you over his while he tried to finished a project that was due the next day, and of course you jumped at the chance. It had been nearly a week since you’d last seen him and you had missed him—obviously. You thought that seeing him in person would ease your mind about the up in the air status of your true relationship, but it made you even more confused and for the first time since you’d met and began this thing, you began to think of the detrimental feelings and situations it could bring. You liked Yoongi—a lot, and you hoped he liked you just as much. You could either ask him, or push all the worry deep down inside of you, but one thing was for sure, you needed to do something.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Yoongi asked, and just like that he give you a way in, unbeknownst to him.

“Hmm—nothing,” you murmured, unsure of how to start the conversation and you prayed he wouldn’t shrug it off.

You shifted in his lap, your legs straddling his hips, where you had been most of the night as he sat at his computer and he leaned back to take a good look at you, the chair creaking with his weight.

“No—come on. It’s something,” he persisted, taking his hand off the mouse, his full attention on you. “What’s wrong? I did let you come visit me tonight even though I was busy…” he teased and you rolled your eyes. You knew he was just trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working. He made it seem like it was always him calling the shots—and you guessed it was. That’s what made you angry.

“Oh, wow.” You shot sarcastically. “Thank you for gracing me with your presence for a couple of hours, all mighty one.”

“No need to be like that…though you’re right, I am the almighty one,” he joked again and when you didn’t react he sighed and gripped your hips, shaking you a little.

“C’mon—tell me.”

It was now or never, and you groaned a little, wanting to cover your face while you spoke, but settled for just not looking him the eye.

“It’s nothing…Hoseok just said something the other night…”

“Well, well, well—that’s a surprise. The guy gives me evils every time I see him.” Yoongi instantly replied, his posture changing as he let go of your hips and straightened his back. “What did he say then? That he saw me Friday night?”

Well, yes, but also no, you thought. That was one of the things, but you knew that was just a ploy to ask the question he’d been dying to all this time.

“He asked what…we are…” you trailed off, not being able to think of a way to explain it clearer, and not even wanting to at that.

Yoongi looked confused for a moment, squinting as he furrowed his forehead, wondering what the hell you meant and then it came to him, his face softening in realisation, before it turned hard again.

“What does it have to do with him?”

You began to feel defensive. Call you a hypocrite, seeing as you’d basically told Hoseok the same thing countless times, but you knew that if the same was happening to him, you’d be worried and maybe slightly annoyed too. It probably had everything to do with him.

“He’s my best friend. He’s worried, that’s all.”

“Worried about what? I don’t get it—what does he think I am?” He pressed, defensive up, his stance still stiff.

“He doesn’t think you’re anything,” you dismissed, suddenly feeling awkward. This wasn’t how you wanted the conversation to go. He wasn’t supposed to act like this. “It doesn’t matter, honest…”

“Well, it obviously does matter to you,” he observed. “You’re upset about it.” His demeanour changed then, his voice lowering as he placed his hand back on hip, rubbing circles into the skin through the fabric.

“I’m not,” you shrugged. “It’s just…” you paused, unsure of what to say next, choosing your words carefully as you realised this was make or break. “I wanna know what we are.”

Yoongi was silent for a moment, his expression still, hard for you to read, which only made you begin to panic, all for getting up and taking off right then and there, but then he gripped your hip harder, slouching back down again.

“Be my girlfriend then.”

“What?” You gawped, your heart beginning to pound in your chest, elation filling you. This wasn’t what you had expected.

“We’ve been together for a while,” he shrugged. “I don’t know, it just gets harder to make it official when I already thought we were. I already know I only want you—so be my girlfriend.”

“I-I…” you trailed off, taken off guard by his casualness, words failing you.

“What?” He asked, tilting his head, a small smirk appearing on his face. “You don’t want me to be your boyfriend?”

“No!” You spluttered. “Of course I do! It’s just…I wasn’t expecting this—I wasn’t expecting you to ask me—

“I should have asked you sooner—I’m sorry,” he interrupted, his hand gliding back and forth over your back now as his other reached for your face, cupping your cheek. “You know how it is…. I didn’t expect to fall for someone else so soon.”

You averted eye contact for a moment, unsure of what to say. He’d already told you the story of his ex, but after wanting to stay single and mess around for a bit, he met you, and you guessed that changed things. You felt a nervousness creep up chest, but as you brought your gaze back to him and met his warm eyes, you realised that he wouldn’t ask you this if he didn’t mean it—if he wasn’t being genuine, and you shot him a radiant smile, happiness washing through your body as he grinned back.

You still remembered the feeling now, all those months later, long after your break up, and if you shut your eyes really tight you could put yourself back into that moment, where he has proceeded to kiss you passionately, his breath at your ear as he whispered and called you his girlfriend.

You hadn’t been anybody’s girlfriend in so long, but not even the five-month relationship in high school or the two month one at the beginning of college could ever come close to this feeling. It just felt right. You and Yoongi. In a proper relationship. Like how you’d imagined all this time. Even when he kissed you harder and proceeded to gloat about how you could rub this in Hoseok’s face, you just nodded and giggled breathlessly, playing along, because a large part of you did want to rub it in his face.

He was wrong. Everything he thought he knew about Yoongi was wrong. Yoongi wanted you as much as you wanted him, and for a while Hoseok didn’t have anything else to say in retaliation. The thing he’d been complaining about the most; a past memory, but then something turned up—it always did, however this time, in hindsight, you wished you had listened to him, because after that, you fell even harder and that was your ultimate downfall… It was too late to get out hurt free. You had fallen in love.

“Did you go out last night?” Hoseok asked, watching you make some lunch in the kitchen.

“No, why?” You asked him, your voice chirpy with the prospect of food, but as you looked up at him your stomach dropped.

His eyes were hesitant as he tried to keep eye contact, his face warped into a grimace. “Oh,” was all he replied, and you frowned. What was wrong now? Your tried to think of situations where he would act this strange, maybe something happens to Irene, maybe something happened to him? However, your mind just kept coming back to one person… Yoongi.

“Hoseok,” you said sharply, needing him to tell you. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing…probably,” he tried to shrug off. “I just saw Kyunho was tagged in some pictures on Facebook and when I looked Yoongi was there too…”

“And…?” You nudged, feeling better that it just seemed to be another one of his over-exaggerations.

“There were pictures… they must have been really drunk… I don’t know—they’re all friends, right?” He explained, and you felt your chest sink.

What was he on about now? You carried on buttering your bread, trying to keep a calm composure as you shrugged him off. “I’ll look after I’ve made lunch—

“But—

“Hoseok, I said I’ll look after lunch.” You repeated through gritted teeth.

You weren’t looking at him, but you heard him leave, an exasperated sigh fall from his lips and when you were alone, you let out the breath you’d been holding for quite some time, concentrating on making the damn sandwich you didn’t even want anymore. It couldn’t be that bad. If Hoseok had seen something terrible, he would’ve told you straight away. He wouldn’t have beaten around the bush if it was serious. He probably thought he was over-exaggerating himself, and as you made your way to your room, placing your sandwich on your desk in favour of your phone, you tried to tell yourself that it was nothing—you were going to laugh about this soon enough.

Only, laugh you never did. You were faced with numerous pictures of Yoongi doing body shots off none other than Kara. The stab to your heart was both painful and mocking. Did you really have a right to be upset over this? Your rationality was screaming both yes and no. On one hand, it was just body shots, although the more your eyes scanned the picture you couldn’t help but feel sick at the way his lips touched her skin and the way he smirked against it. However, on the other hand, you had every right to be upset. He was being promiscuous with another girl—another girl who he had slept with multiple times. They’d probably been in that situation, minus the shots, multiple times and the thought made you feel sick.

He shouldn’t be allowed to treat you like this. Hell, you hadn’t even known he was going out. You may have only been his girlfriend and not his keeper, but you still deserved to know at least his plans sometimes, especially if they involved slurping up shots off some other girl’s body. Did he have no regard for your feelings? Did he not care that other people could see these pictures—his friends, your friends? Did he not care at all? There had never been a time where you hadn’t felt more dejected and you couldn’t stop your body from getting up. Out of room, grabbing your keys and dashing for your car, one destination on your mind…

Your loud banging on his door must have woken him up, despite it being almost 2pm because when he answered his face was scrunched up and puffy, his hair wiry and his hand over his facing, shielding himself from the daylight outside.

“Why so loud?” He asked weakly, still half asleep it seemed as it took him a few moments to realise what was going on—and that you were here, as you brushed past him angrily, entering his apartment.

“Has something happened?” He asked, sounding more awake now, closing his door and turning to face you, but you ignored him in favour of letting your eyes dart to his bed, the smallest bit of relief washing over as you saw it was empty. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Did you really think Yoongi would cheat on you? Did you think that low of him?

“Yeah,” you shot passively, unlocking your phone that you had been clutching in your hand all this time and pushing it in his face.

He looked confused for a moment, his eyes squinting to focus on the small screen and when he realised what the pictures were, his eyes widened a little before he swallowed.

“I can’t even remember last night,” he mumbled, shrugging it off and another stab to your heart hit your chest as you watched him move past you to sit down on the edge of his bed to cradle his head, no doubt nursing a killer headache. “It was a pretty crazy night by the seems of things,” he half chuckled.

“Crazy night?” You repeated in disbelief, not even understanding how he could laugh in a moment like this. Did he really not care what he had done? Was this normal behaviour for him?

“Yeah,” he agreed, still chuckling and you clenched your jaw, trying to stop the next the question that was about to fall out of your mouth, insinuation high on your tongue.

“What else happened, if you can’t remember last night?”

He slowly looked up from his hands, disgust spread over it as he realised what you meant, and for a split second you started to regret it, but then you realised you had every right to feel like this.

“Of course nothing else happened,” he sneered. “Is this what you’re here for? You really don’t trust me at all?”

“What do you expect me to think when you say you can’t remember?” You shot, defensive well and truly up now as he raised his voice. You guys had never really argued like this before, both passive people who liked to avoid confrontation at all costs, but today it seemed you were both itching for a fight.

“I would never do that to you!” He insisted, sounding hurt. “I can’t believe you would even think—

“Well, what do you expect me to think?! Cheating is a no-no, but oh—doing body shots of someone is perfectly fine!” You interrupted, your voice raised now.

He rolled his eyes then, running his fingers through his hair, “it’s just a stupid game, Y/N.”

“Just a stupid game that you do with some girl you’ve fucked countless times.”

The words were out before you could stop them and you inwardly cursed yourself. You had never outwardly showed your distaste for Kara and maybe that’s what you had done wrong. Maybe if you’d told him right off the bat he wouldn’t have done this if he’d known you were uncomfortable…or not…

“Don’t be jealous,” he dismissed. “Kara’s just a friend.”

“No—no—don’t use that shitty excuse, Yoongi,” you rushed. “She’s a friend you’ve had sex with. That changes things. Hoseok is my friend—the actual dictionary definition.”

“And how do I know that?” He shot suddenly.

“What?” You asked, shocked. What did he even mean?

“How do I know that? You seem very close with each other.” He explained further, dropping his hands to the bed and looking at you intently. “How do I know something never happened between the two of you.”

You were lost for words, “don’t try to change the subject to make yourself feel better,” you replied, shaking your head as you stood awkwardly between his bed and the kitchen. Why was he turning this on you?

“I mean, it explains why he’s always shooting me evils and meddling in our relationship,” he reasoned with himself. “—I bet it was him who told you about those pictures, huh? I’m right, aren’t I?” He pushed, not giving you enough time to answer.

“No—it wasn’t him,” you dismissed, outright lying because you didn’t want to give him more fuel to add to the fire. “They’re on Facebook for the world to see, Yoongi.”

“I don’t believe you.” He said angrily. “He’s used every chance he’s gotten to come between us and I’m supposed to sit back and let it happen?”

“He hasn't—

“You think you need to worry about me and Kara? I see her like once every week—you see him every day!” He interrupted, and you gawped a little. What was he doing? Why was he making your innocent friendship with Hoseok into something seedy? “You live with him for crying out loud! How do I know what you’re up to when you’re alone?”

“You’re sick, Yoongi.” You spat, feeing disgusted. Hoseok was your friend. You would never do something like that with him, and especially when you were with Yoongi, “and crazy to think that I’d ever cheat on you.”

“Same goes for you!” He exclaimed. “Why would I ever do that to you?!”

Despite him seeming very genuine, you were still beyond angry that he could accuse you of such stupid things, and you sneered. “I don’t know, you seem to like mixing friendship with sex a lot. You know once you have that connection with somebody, it never goes away.”

Yoongi was silent for a moment, taking in what you just said before he replied sarcastically, “Oh, well I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you, Y/N,” and before you could get a word in edgeways he continued. “Maybe you’ve just lived a very boring life.”

There was acid on his tongue and you stared at him hurt, before scoffing and turning around to leave. You didn’t need to hear this. If you were such different people, then why were you even bothering to stay together? It was obvious you were different, anybody could see it, and you were too tired to keep on trying to ignore it.

“Wait—I’m sorry—I didn’t mean that.” He called, regret in his voice as you made it to his front door, but before you could grab the handle, he was by your side, hand on your shoulder to turn you around. “Come on—don’t go.”

“I want to be alone right now,” you muttered, avoiding his eyes as you dipped your head, biting back the stupid tears that threatened to spill.

“No, come on. I’m sorry, okay?” He urged, gripping both of your shoulders now, before one hand came out to cup cheek, prompting you to look at him. “I didn’t mean it, I just let my own jealously get the better of me.”

“Yoongi…” you didn’t even know what you wanted to say, you were too weak for fight anymore and you were scared it was already over before it had even began.

“You know I care about you, right?” He pressed again, pressing his forehead to yours as he urged you to listen and you wanted yo push him away, but then he spoke again, and you were lost words…but this time in a good way. “You’re my girlfriend and we love each other, right?”

“W-What?”

He paused for a moment, his eyes flittering over your face before he took a deep breath, “I-I love you.”

You wanted to speak, but you couldn’t. You had never in your wildest dreams imagined that he would ever say those three little words. You hadn’t even let yourself think them because you were so scared he would never reciprocate them back, but here he was…

“You know me… I’m not good with expressing feelings and shit, but I know I love you and I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.” He said earnestly. “I’m sorry if I did—I won’t even hang around with Kara if you don’t want me to.”

You wanted to say something along the lines of, ‘it didn’t even matter anymore if he saw her every day now,’ you were just too happy, because he loved you—nothing else mattered. Nothing in the whole world.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” He pushed, feeling awkward now—you saw the uncertainty in his eyes.

“I-I—

“You’re still mad?” He asked, sounding worried.

“No.” You shook your head vigorously, finally finding your voice as you smiled, “I love you, too.”

“Really?!” He exclaimed, a massive grin appearing on his face, and you had never seen him so happy as you both laughed weakly in disbelief. “You don’t know how happy this makes me…I could…I could…

“Kiss me, right now?” You giggled, wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on yours. “Go on, then!”

And he did. You didn’t even care that he tasted like alcohol still and stale cigarettes. All that mattered was that you guys were in love. He loved you and you loved him.

Now looking back, you wondered if Yoongi did ever mean the things he said to you, or did he just say them for the hell of it. You wanted to believe he wasn’t that sadistic to play with your heart the way he did, but sometimes you couldn’t think of any other reason. If he truly did love you like he had claimed to, then why did he break your heart? Why did he ask you to be his girlfriend, only to end things a couple of months later?

Granted, you should have seen the signs. He began to grow more distant, never truly engaged in conversation anymore, but you were too blind to see it—or you just didn’t want to. You were in love and on top of the world, so when it all came crashing down around you, you were heartbroken. You were still heartbroken. It was like a never-ending agony. Never one to be over dramatic, but sometimes you needed to be. The feeling was as if your heart weighed a ton of bricks, your stomach empty, as if you were constantly hungry but didn’t crave food—when you ate you felt sick and your whole body was numb.

You were under the impression that maybe your heartbreak was prolonging because you had never really gotten closure. One minute you had been delirious happy, blocking out all the bad signs and next, Yoongi was dumping you over the phone, just before you were due to see him. His excuses were weak to say the least, but maybe you were just bitter. Everything he said went in one ear and out the other. I shouldn’t have rushed into a relationship so soon after my last. I can’t give you what you want. You deserve better. I love you, but it’s not enough.

Not enough…those were the two words that kept replaying in your head, even months later. Those are what hurt the most, because if you loved someone, shouldn’t that be enough? If you loved someone, the hard work was already over. Everything was alright when you had love, but for Yoongi, it wasn’t. It was over and you couldn’t change his mind. You just had to get on with it—get on with life and suck it up.

The days turned to weeks, the heartache still strong, but then accidentally you found a way to cope. A home remedy of sorts, something that wasn’t you and still probably wasn’t, but it happened one night when you had gone out with Irene about a month after the break up. You’d spotted Yoongi locking lips with none other than Kara, and like a knife to the heart you felt yourself die all over again. You didn’t know what was worse, the way Yoongi noticed you with regret in his features, as if he pitied you for what you had witnessed, or the fact he didn’t even bother to come over and speak—to explain and to apologise.

You’d wanted to go home, give up at the first hurdle, but instead Irene had persuaded you to go to another club, and somehow, that’s how you’d caught the eye of a stranger. You couldn’t even remember his name now. You were sure it started with a ‘T’ but you couldn’t be too sure. All you remembered of that night was that sleeping with someone helped you forget everything you felt.

Sex. That’s what your remedy was. For that fraction of time between your sheets you forgot all about your heartbreak. You felt wanted, you felt accepted, no matter how pathetic it made you look. You didn’t care. Some guys were happy with a one night wonder, some wanted more. You were happy just to sleep with them, the idea of a new relationship made you feel sick. You didn’t want that, you only wanted Yoongi. You thought that maybe if he heard about you and your conquests he’d get jealous and want you back—again pathetic, you knew. It never worked anyway. You hadn’t spoken to him once since the breakup, and now, finally—months later, you had accepted it was over, but that didn’t mean your broken heart still didn’t exist.

A hole in your chest that when with someone else it disappeared for a while. It was stupid, and not like you at all. You had never had even had a one night stand prior Yoongi, but now it just felt normal. Irene didn’t judge you, although she had told you by now to maybe reign it in, maybe give that ‘nice guy’ Namjoon a solid chance… Hoseok on the hand, wasn’t too happy. Although he kept the majority of his distaste a secret, it didn’t take a genius to work out he didn’t approve.

Hoseok had been with you through everything—that shoulder to cry on, never once telling you ‘I told you so’, always trying to cheer you up. Maybe that’s where it all went wrong… In his bid to make you happy again—to feel wanted again, to fix you again, he took it one step too far. You both did.

You can’t even remember how it happened, one minute you were sat on the sofa laughing and joking and the next you were kissing. Maybe it had been the casual way he had wrapped his arms around you and tickled you, whispered in your ear—it had felt so intimate, way more intimate than any sexual activity you had chased over the past weeks and the numb feeling in your chest had disappeared, replaced with butterflies. Butterflies were something you hadn’t felt in so long, so you just let it happen.

You stopped of course, and ran into your room, embarrassed and afraid, but then you couldn’t stop thinking of his reaction. He was the who had kissed you. He didn’t want it to stop either. You didn’t know what it meant, but all you did know, was that the kiss felt good, and you could still feel the tingle on your lips, so you went back for more…

Things were awkward after that. At first you tried to laugh it off, but you found yourself unable to stop thinking of that night and in turn, it became harder to look him in the eye. You were so stupid. You had let a post on Facebook—where it seems Yoongi had a new girlfriend—sabotage your friendship with your best friend. You were pretty sure Hoseok regretted the night too because he hadn’t spoken barely any words to you since. The worst for you, was that you couldn’t even close your eyes without remembering how he felt inside of you, the way he kissed you and the way he held you. Maybe because it was a familiar face…but anyway, the thought of your heartbreak disappearing even a fraction scared the hell out of you. In some sick, twisted way you didn’t want to let Yoongi go…and in another, you didn’t want Hoseok to be the person who healed it.

That’s why a week later you decided to go out, maybe find another guy up to the job of healing your heart. The process was getting there, so you never know, maybe this next person could be something…someone to you. You’d panicked a bit when you’d seen Hoseok as you were leaving, even inviting him along in a bid to save your friendship you were scared was dying, but he said no, and you didn’t know whether that was a good or bad thing…but you went out according to plan anyway.

You didn’t get very far—maybe on your second drink when you saw him…Yoongi. With the girl you recognised from his photos on Facebook. They were kissing, her sitting on his lap. Four months. That’s how long it had taken him to move on, get a new girlfriend. You hoped that was enough time for him to have ‘not have rushed into it.’ You hoped this new girl knew he’d probably been fucking his friend before she came along too. The sad part was that Yoongi didn’t even notice you, and just like magic, your heart was in pieces again…

You slammed the door loudly as you rushed in, only stopping when you saw Hoseok on the sofa, shock on his face as he took one look at you, turning the tv off as he dashed towards you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Yoongi was there with that girl…” you trailed off, your voice breaking slightly, and then you looked down—did he really want to hear this? “I think they’re together, Hoseok…”

As your voice broke at his name he brought you into a hug. It was the first time you had touched in a week and you couldn’t help but instantly relax under his touch.

“It was one thing seeing it on Facebook, but in real life… it was just – ahhh – why am I so stupid? Why am I still hung up on him after all this time?” You bit out, feeling a frustration you couldn’t explain as the feelings built up in your chest.

“You’re not stupid, Y/N. It’s okay to feel this way.” He reassured you, pulling away to rub your cheek with the ball of his thumb.

“I am stupid,” you repeated. “I ruin everything.”

“What have you ruined? Huh? Tell me one thing you’ve ruined?” He urged.

You looked up at him, wanting to tell him everything that had been flooding your mind for the last week, but you were too chicken, and in that one moment you wanted to forget everything again. You wanted the feeling that you had felt when you’d slept with him the first time. You wanted it again. You breathed deeply, silence filling room as your eyes flickered down to his lips before catching his eyes again and suddenly the air felt thick. There was something between you again. Something that had never existed for you before. Your noses were practically brushed up against one another and as you exhaled you leaned forward and kissed him.

Your lips were hesitant at first, testing the waters, wanting him to kiss you back so badly, but sadly, he pulled away, his voice soft as he uttered your name. “We shouldn’t, it would be a mistake.”

And there it was. Rejection. Hitting you like a punch to the gut. You let out a little whine of despair, breaking half way through as you realised how stupid you had been. How pitiful you were.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, pulling away from his arms. “SEE?! I am stupid. I do shit like this without thinking.” You exclaimed, motioning between you and him as you grew frustrated with yourself. “No wonder Yoongi never loved me.”

“Y/N,” he began.

“It okay,” you interrupted, smiling bitterly. You had already accepted it. Yoongi could have never loved you if he dropped you at the curb so quickly. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m gonna go to bed before I ruin the rest of my relationships. Goodnight, Hobi…” and with you walked to your room, closing the door behind you with a quiet thud.

To your surprise, it was his turn to come to your room this time, and your heart dipped when you heard the knock, not up for more humiliation, but you called for him to come in anyway, too weak to ignore him as your tried to unzip the back of dress. He was there in a flash, sitting behind you to help you get lose, his fingers cold as he pulled the zipper down your back, letting the air hit your bare skin.

“Hoseok, why are you here?” You breathed, trying to ignore the way his touch brought a chill to your skin. You could feel his breath against your neck now, and then the goosebumps formed.

“I’m scared.”

You needed to get this off your chest. You couldn’t just pretend that nothing had happened—that something still was happening.

“I’m scared you regret what happened between us. You haven’t been around at all this past week and I’m afraid that you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you!” He exclaimed. “I could never hate you.”

You felt his hands grip your shoulders as he tugged you around, his eyes boring into yours as if he was willing you to believe him.

You gingerly took his cheek in your hand, wanting to be as honest with him as you could be. He was your best friend and you could tell him everything.

“I’m also scared of myself. Last weekend was the first time I began to feel something for somebody that wasn’t Yoongi. All the other…guys were nothing, they were fleeting, a moment in time that I’d rather forget, but you… you were different.” You explained. “You’re my best friend and you made me feel something…here,” and you clutched your chest where her heart was, smiling fondly. “That scares me.”

You didn’t know what it meant, you were as confused as Hoseok looked right now, but you knew, despite your reservations, that feeling less heart break was a step in the right direction. Ironic that it had to be with your best friend, and you wanted to kick yourself when you remembered all you had said to Yoongi about not mixing friendship with sex. You’d already done it now, and a part of you wanted to do it again, not thinking of the consequences.

“Y/N, don’t be scared. That just means you’re getting over Yoongi. You need to know it’s okay to cry and shout and laugh even. It’s okay to feel things. You’re not made of stone—you’re human and humans get hurt”, he encouraged, his voice hopeful. “But do you know what? Humans can heal too. This…this feeling in your heart—” he started softly, and he put his hand over yours that was still against your chest, “—it’ll go away—the bad feeling—the heartbroken one, and it’ll be replaced with a better one.”

Your head was spinning. You knew he probably didn’t mean him, that could heal you, but it was worth a shot, right? The worst he could do was turn you down again and you’d be okay with that, but you’d already passed the line once…

You leaned forward and kissed him, weaving your fingers into his when you didn’t feel him pull away, wanting to feel as connected to him as possible, chasing the feeling of hope in your chest. Maybe he could heal you…fix you. That’s what best friends did, right? Helped one another? It didn’t matter if it was with sex. If you were both mature enough to handle it, it was all going to be okay.

Warmth spread through your chest as he deepened the kiss, his free hand stroking your hair as you fell back on the bed. You felt his tongue run across your closed lips and you instantly opened them, meeting his muscle with fervour, desperate to taste him and seek comfort as they pressed against each other, his just as eager as yours. He tasted sweet and you gripped him closer to you, spreading your legs to have him lay against you, feeling his body weight against yours and smelling the vanilla scent of his skin.

Soft moans left you as he pulled back and placed soft pecks over and over again to your mouth, stopping momentarily to speak.

“Are you sure about this? We can stop if you don’t want to,” and you shook your head. Of course, you didn’t want to stop, and you wound your arms around his neck, reaching for his lips again and uttering words that had him groaning into your mouth.

“I want you, Hoseok.”

He left your lips to bury his head in the crook of your neck, kissing and nudging the flesh with his nose as you shuddered with the feeling, angling your head so he could kiss deeper, his hands traveling to your waist as he began to pull your dress down, revealing your bare breasts that his tongue found straight away, flicking and sucking harshly as you arched your back, body pressed against his face as you chased the feeling, your hands weaving into his hair as his own pulled the fabric down your hips and you kicked your dress off, hearing it land on the floor. He pulled away to look at your body, a moan of satisfaction rumbling in his chest as he took in your thong, legs planted on the bed as you spread them, feeling pleasure run through your body even though he had stopped touching you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his mouth finding yours again as his hands ran over your stomach and your heart flipped at his comment, basking in the attention as you felt him cup your breasts, moulding them in his fingers as you moaned, rubbing yourself up against his body, feeling his erection press against your core.

There was something different about this time, his kisses were harsher, more pressure to them, as if this time he wasn’t so nervous—even though this was still new, you felt him become more assertive, his hands freely caressing your body, his pleasure more audible as he groaned again, pressing his dick against you on his own accord, enjoying the sensation. He pulled away to kiss down your chin and chest, his eyes on you intently as you watched him descend your torso, wet kisses trailing all the way to your stomach that had you squirming around in anticipation before he knelt up and took off his shirt, leaving his chest bare as it flexed, his breathing heavy in excitement.

As he moved back down he went for your thighs this time, parting your legs as he kissed the soft skin, ticking you as he went for the sensitive flesh behind your knee and by the time he made it to your bikini line you were sure you had already dampened your underwear. You felt his tongue swipe against your covered folds and you reached for his shoulder, already mid- protest, but he shook you off.

“I don’t need that—

“No—let me. I want to make you feel good,” he whispered, and your hands fell limply as you felt the excitement rush through your veins.

The only reason you had told him not to last time was because you were scared it would be too intimate, which was silly, seeing as you were about to have sex, but this time you let desire take over body and a sigh left your mouth as he went back to kissing your core, feeling your underwear begin to get warm and wetter with his saliva, your legs parting wider, desperate by now, until finally you felt his fingers reach under your panties, pulling them off painfully slow, and you lifted your leg up to rush him along, your sex pulsing in need by the time you were bare and his mouth was back at your inner thigh.

“Hobi, don’t tease me—quickly! I’m about to combust over here,” you hissed, watching him smirk against your skin, and you were shocked to find yourself using his nickname in such an intimate situation, watching him move to face your heat, his breath tickling you as he spoke.

“You didn’t even want me to do this a minute a go—are you sure?” He teased, moving away from you, but you gripped the back of his neck, keeping his place.

“Yesss,” you practically whimpered, “I’ve never been so sure of anything before.”

Maybe you being over dramatic, but you really didn’t care and by the way his eyes flashed it seemed he liked it anyway and suddenly you were gasping as he finally buried his head into you, his lips pecking against the soaked flesh before his tongue flicked out to run against your clit.

You instantly relaxed under his touch, feeling him nuzzle closer into you and you wondered how he was so good at this, most guys you had slept with were a slobbering mess when it came to eating a girl out—bar Yoongi, and at the thought your heart squeezed a little. You pushed back against the bed, trying to forget his name and his face—it wasn’t about him anymore and you shut your eyes tight, feeling Hoseok add a finger into your opening and curl up gently as you moaned, your hands finding their way to his hair once again, feeling the pleasure pulse through your body as he swirled his tongue around your clit, making your toes curl into the sheets.

Thoughts of Yoongi quickly evaporated by the time he added a second finger and began to suck against you, humming and groaning into your heat and it rumbled around you, warmth washing over you as you felt your high approach you already, pushing your head back to concentrate on the movements of his tongue and fingers, your thighs trembling around his head as you tried to voice your arousal.

“Oh my god, Hoseok—don’t stop—please don’t stop,” you begged, squirming under his touch as you chased the last actions of your orgasm, feeling the inferno burn in the pit of your stomach as he spend up, sloppy noises filling the room as you finally snapped, your back arching of the bed and you saw white dots in your vision, your limbs stiffening as pleasure washed over you, a silent cry leaving you, followed by a weak giggle, your whole body tingling as he removed his fingers gently and kissed away the rest of your excess arousal, hums of enjoyment leaving him before he rose up on his knees again, hands already reaching for the waistband of his sweats, one hand still covered in your juices which smeared across the fabric as he pulled them down and his dick sprung free.

He was naked in the blink of an eye, his mouth on yours once again as his body hovered over yours. You tasted yourself on his tongue and your hand shot to his erection to rub it against your opening, coating him in your wetness as he groaned into your mouth, his jaw slack with the feeling.

“I want you so bad,” you uttered, the words falling out of your mouth before you even had time to process them and he whimpered, one hand meeting yours to take over and glide his dick against your slit, his motions harder, the other hand splayed across your pillow to hold himself up.

“D-Do you have a condom?” He asked, voice strained and you panicked for a moment, shaking your head. Hoseok probably had some in his room but there was no way you wanted him to leave you and go get one, you’d explode by the time he came back.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him. “I’m on the pill—besides, I want to feel you this time.”

Your words had his eyes practically rolling back inside his head and you felt more warmth spread across your chest. It was hot to know he wanted you as much as you wanted him, and with that he slipped down to entrance, holding his crotch to yours as he pressed flat on one thigh, pushing into you slowly but deeply, bottoming out as you adjusted your hips, and he hissed at the feeling, one hand now gripping your hip bone as you moaned out, the stretch oh-so fulfilling.

“Fuck—” he got out, gritting his teeth, his hips pressed against yours. “You feel so good—fuck,” and with that he began to move, moving his body between your legs as you enclosed him in, thrusting in and out steadily, watching your every reaction as you gasped out, flesh on flesh, the feeling more intent without a barrier of latex.

As he snapped his hips faster you met them with yours, making him groan out and as he dipped his head you captured his lips with yours, your tongue sliding into his mouth, desperate to feel everything he could give you and he faltered for a moment, seemingly overcome, the hand that was on your hip moving to your one of your breasts, cupping the flesh gently before twirling your nipple between the pads of his fingers.

You were overcome with too much pleasure. This time different to the first as you both gained confidence, both working in unison as your bodies became one, the warmth now glowing so hard in your chest you were surprised you couldn’t see it. Your whole body was tingling as you kissed each other messily and finally, he broke away, dipping his head to look between your bodies as he groaned at the sight—both of them glistening with sweat as your hips hit against each other, his fringe wet as it pressed against your chest.

“I’m not gonna last much longer—this is too much…” he got out and you wrapped your arms around his neck, lifting his head to kiss him once before you let him bury it in the crook of your neck, his panting loud as sped up, chasing his high and you wound your legs around his hips, gripping him to you, the sounds of your act filling the room as you slid your hands down his back, feeling his muscles flex under the touch.

“Cum, Hoseok—let me feel you inside me,” you urged, and he whimpered once more, his thrusts now messy as he halted, before jerking once more inside of you, his breath puffing out of his mouth as he came with a groan and you felt his seed shoot up inside of you, hot and finalising your closeness.

You couldn’t get any closer than this, as he pulled out of you slowly, your skin damp from exertion and your breaths rattled. Without thinking you both went to kiss each other again, sweeter this time—more passionate as you sighed against each other’s lips, your tongues tasting each other once again as his hands caressed your body. Your heart was practically throbbing out of your chest by the time he pulled away and you were surprised to find that it didn’t disappear when you laid down to sleep—it didn’t even disappear when you both woke up. It was still there, humming happily in your chest and for the first time in a while, you felt normal again.

For the first time in four months, you felt like you again.

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