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h-styles-babes · 5 years ago

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FIFTEEN

Sia had to nearly drag herself out of bed the next morning.

After being woken by Harry and inviting him to stay with her to abate the nightmares, they’d stayed up for about an hour, talking about nothing and everything. Sia asked him about hw filming had gone and how he’d liked making his first movie. Harry had been enthusiastic about his experience, but he was appropriately anxious for how it was to be received. There was nearly another year until the movie hit cinemas, so it was still a long time coming, but he was nervous nonetheless. No matter how much Christopher Nolan and all his coworkers had assured him that his performance was great, he was still unsure of how it would really come across. It was his first real acting job after all. He just wanted it to be good.

She’d eventually fallen asleep, tucked up close to Harry’s side. They weren’t cuddling, per se, but they were definitely touching. And Harry must have done as she’d asked and left after she’d gone down, because she woke to an empty bed. However, there was a glass of water and two paracetamol tablets on her bedside table, with a little note that read:

‘Just in case you had a headache from the crying. —H.’

She was a little put off by the lack of X’s after his signature, but she wouldn’t ever admit that to anyone.

True to his prediction, Sia had a headache upon waking, so she quickly took the tablets and finished the entire glass of water before crawling out of bed. She was tired from the restless night of sleep and her body ached like she’d done a hard work out the day before. The relentless night terrors and her body’s violent, physical reaction during them were really wearing away at her body. She was surprised she didn’t find bruises or welts on her body every morning from how violently she knew she thrashed during them. Luckily, after she’d fallen asleep the second time, her sleep had been dreamless, and she was able to get the few hours uninterrupted. It wasn’t enough to make up for all the missed sleep the past week, but it help a bit.

Sia wished she felt better after Harry’s company in the early hours of the morning, but she felt just as downtrodden and worn as she had every other day. She was dreading their work day and having to see him after he witnessed the horror she lived through every night. It was embarrassing, to say the least, and it was indicative of the mental and emotional turmoil she knew he already suspected. She was sure at this point that Harry was starting to realise her upset wasn’t just from their break up. The time to tell him was creeping up on her, and she was dreading it.

Slipping into a pair of linen shorts and a plain tank top, Sia made her way into the kitchen. Luckily, it sounded like the house was mostly empty, or if it wasn’t empty, everyone was having a quiet Saturday morning. She made her way into the kitchen and only encountered Harry and Alex, the latter greeting her with a cheery “good morning,” which caused Harry to look over his shoulder at her from where he was standing in front of the stove. She smiled as best she could and returned Alex’s greeting with a soft one of her own.

Harry handed Sia a mug full of freshly brewed chai tea when she made her way to the fridge to grab some fruit for breakfast. He didn’t let go of it immediately when Sia got her hand on it, using it as a way to draw her closer to him.

“Yeh alright?” Harry murmured to her, not wanting Ben to really hear.

Sia couldn’t meet his eyes, so she nodded and hummed her agreement.

She heard Harry sigh, and she startled when she felt his lips press to her temple, lingering for a full three seconds before he pulled away. It was the first time they’d really had any physical contact outside of shoulders pressed against each other during movie nights and her leg pressed to his in bed the night before. She tried not to outwardly react to it.

Sia fled from the kitchen pretty quickly after that, foregoing the fruit she wanted to get and headed straight to the back patio. Mitch caught her eye from his place in one of the loungers when she walked out, and she could see him carefully appraising her bedraggled appearance. A slight frown titled at his lips and he mouthed, “you good?”

“Later,” she mouthed back when she saw Alex and Harry moving to join them outside. It was both a promise and a plea. She needed someone to talk to about this. Considering she was feeling like she’d pestered her therapist a lot recently, Mitch was her next best choice. He was the only other person on this trip that would be able to comfort her, in his sort of detached, awkward way. She’d call El, but the time difference was weird and hard to navigate. Mitch was here now, and she knew he was always willing to listen.

~*~*~*~*~

“So, are you just gonna avoid him for the rest of forever?” Mitch asked, looking very skeptical.

Him and Sia were sitting outside that cafe Sia had gone to when she was the only one in the house and had a day of exploring. She’d told him just after she’d had her morning tea that she wanted to talk to him at some point, and he’d suggested that they have lunch, just the two of them. So, when they were getting ready to leave, a driver waiting for them out front, Harry had walked into he living room at the same time, asking where they were going. Mitch, not wanting to leave his new friend out of an outing, went to invite him to lunch with them, but Sia had cut him off, telling Harry they were going out and would be back later, nearly pulling Mitch out the front door without waiting for a response.

He’d questioned her on their car ride and guessed correctly that she was avoiding Harry, for whatever reason. It wasn’t until they’d gotten seated at the cafe in town that she explained to him what had happened throughout the night.

“I obviously can’t do that,” Sia huffed with a roll of her eyes. She kept her gaze on her fingers twirling the straw in her glass of water. “I’m just embarrassed. And I know he’s suspicious.”

“You know I’ll never tell you what to do, but…” Mitch trailed off, taking a sip of his iced tea to fill the end of his sentence.

Sia sighed. “I know. I need to tell him. But the mere thought has me riddled with night terrors.”

“Maybe telling him will help ease them,” Mitch suggested.

“My therapist has mentioned that,” Sia admitted. “Something about me needing to push myself to get to the final steps of healing.”

“I never went to college, but she seems like a smart woman.”

Sia groaned as she ran her hands through her hair, a habit she’d picked up after years of being friends with Harry. “I just don’t want it to interfere with the recording.”

“The lingering tension between you is already interfering with the recording. Maybe this will help clear the air.”

Sia hummed to acknowledge that she heard Mitch’s opinion and she was grateful for it, but she was still having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it was now imperative that she tell Harry about everything. It had been nearly a year since she’d begun dealing with it, and she was, for the most part, coping with it on her own. She thought she had been doing a good job until she’d been thrust back into Harry’s presence. And then when she finally thought she’d gotten a handle on those resurfaced emotions, a song set her off and brought back her nightmares. She felt like she couldn’t catch a break.

Perhaps finally sharing with Harry would help. Not to the point of recovery, but hopefully it would be the tipping of the domino that would finally set in motion the steps to finally dealing with it properly.

Healing. That was what Sia had to keep reminding herself of: telling Harry was an avenue of healing. Both for herself and for him. And possibly for them both as a past couple.

~*~*~*~*~

Sia, in order to prepare herself for an impending heavy conversation, successfully avoided Harry for the rest of the day.

When her and Mitch got back from lunch and their quick outing around town, she’d snuck into the kitchen to make herself a brew before promptly returning to her bedroom to brood and enjoy the rest of her day in peace. It had been pretty nice, just getting to watch a few films and text back and forth with Ellen. They were trying to pass ideas to each other about what they were going to do when El arrived in Jamaica, and it gave Sia a way to keep her mind off of the impending discussion she would have to have with Harry. It was a nice way to spend a day of her weekend.

She had another nightmare that night. It was becoming the norm more than an occasional occurrence, which was equally annoying as it was concerning.

Sia could feel her heart racing, even in the midst of the dream. She subconsciously knew she was crying, the sobbing in her dream too laboured heart-wrenching for it not to be reflected in her real life. Flashes of lights flickered in her hazy vision, like she was racing down a long hallway. The distant echo of the beeping of medical machines whooshed in and out of her hearing. A phantom pain of her experience ripped across her abdomen. The devastation of the news and her heartbreak settled deep into her chest.

He didn’t intentionally wake her this time, but she stirred out of her unconsciousness when Harry slid next to her in bed. She gasped when she felt like her arms were trapped around her, unable to reach up to wipe the tears from her face. She quickly realised that it was because Harry was laid on top of the covers, keeping them taut around her. It was actually comforting after she realised she wasn’t being physically held down, like she had been after she’d awoken in the hospital the year before. Harry had a hand on her back, softly stroking up and down as her breathing started to settle.

Harry didn’t speak until he felt that Sia had sufficiently calmed.

“You alright?”

Sia sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to shake off the last of her dream that clung to the edges of her consciousness. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Harry helped her loosen the blankets around her as she tried to shift to face him. He brushed her hair back from her face, that was still slightly sticky with the remnants of her tears and the sweat she had built up in her thrashing.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked. There was a softness in his features that relayed to Sia that he didn’t want to push her, which she greatly appreciated.

“What time is it?” she asked, unable to see the clock over Harry’s figure.

“Just past two.” Harry pressed his lips together to try to keep back the displeased look on his face. As far as he could tell, Sia was trying to avoid the topic again, and it didn’t it well with him. She very obviously had something that was eating away at her and needed to get it off her chest. He didn’t really understand why she was torturing herself by bottling it all up and keeping it away from him. Or anyone, really. He wasn’t privy to the fact that she had unloaded her burden on Mitch already. Not that it seemed to be helping.

“If you don’t mind staying up with me,” she told him, muttering into the cover of her blankets. She couldn’t actually believe that she was proposing they have this conversation now. But she sort of figured that the fact that he was here, in her room at two o’clock in the morning, had to be some sort of sign from some almighty being that wanted her to get her shit together. Divine intervention and all that.

“It’s Sunday and I’ve got no plans. If I want to sleep in until three in the afternoon, I will. If you need to talk, don’t worry about it.”

Sia looked at him for a long moment, giving herself one last chance to back out of this for the night. However, when she took inventory of how she was feeling, she realised that she didn’t want to take another raincheck. Her therapist was right: she needed to do this, not only for herself, but for him, too. It was time to take control of her own mental well-being.

She shuffled to get herself upright in bed. Harry helped her by pulling down the blankets to her waist and fluffing up her pillows to support her. Bless him and his constant attention to other’s needs and comfort. It made Sia’s heart give a little jump with affection and those damn butterflies in her stomach to flutter just a little harder. He made it really hard to not constantly be in love with him.

“Can you hand me the tissues?” she asked, gesturing to her bedside table. If Harry noticed the already-empty on beside it, he didn’t comment. He obviously already knew she’d done her share of crying in the last few days.

Sia gripped the square box in both hands, rubbing her thumbs over the sharp edges. She took a few moments to take in cleansing breaths, staring intently at the swirling patter of the interior of the duvet as it lay at her waist.

“I uh…” she began, clearing her throat when her voice came out with a slight hitch. “I’ve been dealing with some stuff lately that kinda resurfaced when I came on this trip.”

“I’ve noticed,” Harry commented softly.

Sia nodded. “I thought I had gotten past it, at least enough to function like a normal person, but it got bad within the last week or so.”

“I noticed you kinda dropped off after we first started recording ‘Woman.’” Harry paused to let Sia speak, but she only nodded, her eyes trained on the tissue she was now pulling apart between her fingers. “If the end of our relationship is still that awful for you, we don’t have to talk about it. I don’t want to make you—”

Sia shook her head hard, finally looking up at him. “It’s not that. I mean, not really, at least.”

Harry’s brows furrowed together. “Then what is it?”

“I had a miscarriage.”

Sia watched as Harry’s actually choked on his own breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. His lower lip wobbled before he drew it between his teeth. He cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry. Do you mind me asking when?”

The first feeling of tears tingling behind her eyes made Sia squint them shut, wanting to keep it together as long as possible in order to get everything out. “December. Just before Christmas.”

A long silence drew out between them, both unsure what else to say. Harry seemed to be really struggling with what she’d told him, understandably. His jaw clenched and his hands were fisted into the hem of his athletic shorts. There was a deep furrow between his brows. He eventually squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, like he did when he was stressed. He sucked his lips into his mouth and rubbed them together a few times before blowing out a long breath. Eventually, he looked to Sia, a mixture of hurt and sadness mixed in his eyes.

“I’m very sorry for your loss, Sia. I can’t imagine losing a baby.”

Sia’s heart thudded in her chest. Was he not getting it?

“Harry…” That uncomfortable feeling settling in her chest made it hard for her to talk. She was going to cry. There was no going back once that sensations filled her lungs. Tears dripped from the corners of each of her eyes, and she used the stripped bits in her fingers to sop up the first few drops before reaching for a full, new tissue.

She couldn’t really make out his face through the tears now swimming in her eyes. She felt her face crumple as a sob tore through her throat. Harry’s arms were around her in an instant, pulling her to his chest, nearly crushing her. He was making shushing sounds to try to calm her. He could only hope that she could hear him over her sobs.

“You’re an i-idiot,” she eventually hiccuped out. Harry was drawn aback by her words, such a turn from the emotions she was displaying. He reared back and looked down at her. Sia scoffed at the exaggerated hurt look on his face.

“I know you’re hurting, but—”

“You’re an idiot, because I was pregnant with your baby.”

Sia heard Harry draw in a quick breath and the hold he had on her slackened. She took a moment to wipe her eyes before looking up at him. His mouth was open in surprise, and she’d never seen his forehead so scrunched or his brows so far down over his eyes.

Some unintelligible sounds came out of his mouth, like he was trying to form words and figure out what to say. Her stomach flipped a little when she saw tears welling in his eyes and slowly drip out. His mouth eventually closed over a small whimper that turned into a suppressed sob.

Sia gave him the time he needed. She’d had over half a year to come to terms with this, so she couldn’t expect Harry to do it in a few minutes. He’d have questions soon, so she would give him his time and be there when he was ready to talk.

Now that she’d gotten it out to him, she had an odd sense of serenity. Her natural care-taking nature seemed to overcome her, and all she wanted to do in that moment was make him comfortable. So, she told Harry softly that she would be back before slipping out of the bed and making her way to the kitchen. She made a brew for both Harry and herself and also popped a bag of popcorn. By the time she brought it back into the bedroom, Harry had tucked himself under the blankets, his eyes still steadily leaking tears, but his gaze was vacant, trained steadfastly on the far wall. If he even knew that Sia had entered the room, he made no indication.

Sia put the bowl of popcorn down on the bed and one of the cups on the bedside table. She sidled up beside Harry, her knees gently resting against the side of the bed to keep her balance. With her free hand, she reached out and ran her fingers through Harry’s hair, trying to draw his attention gently. He eventually turned his head toward her, his eyes seeming to focus.

“I brought you a cuppa,” she murmured. Harry hummed and reached to take it by the handle. His other hand wrapped around her waist, drawing her closer. He took a deep breath and rested his head against her stomach, her fingers drawing slowly through his hair. It was only a few moments before she could feel the wetness seep through her sleep shirt. He was actively crying again.

“Budge over,” she whispered.

Harry sniffled before righting himself and making room for her. She slid into bed beside him.

“Talk to me,” she urged.

Harry took a slow sip of his tea before speaking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sia took a deep breath. “I didn’t know I was pregnant until December. And then, three days later, I started bleeding.”

“How did you not—?”

“We’d just broken up, Harry. I was distraught. I was in the midst of my internship. I was doing everything in my power to keep my mind off of you. And I didn’t realise until nearly Christmas that I hadn’t had a period in…longer than I could remember.

“When I finally figured it out, I went and took like three tests. All of ‘em came back positive. Given the last time we had sex, I reckoned I was about fourteen or fifteen weeks. I’d gained a little weight, but nothing I really noticed. Figured I’d make an appointment for just after Christmas, start takin’ vitamins. Figured I’d made it that long, another two weeks wasn’t gonna make a difference.”

Sia paused to take a shaky sip of her tea. This was her least favourite part of this memory.

She cleared her throat. “I went to my parents’ as soon as I was allowed. I was gonna tell them that night at dinner. Except I started bleeding before then. I lost blood so fast that I passed out…. My mum found me in the loo. She called 999 and I was rushed to the hospital. I guess I was able to tell them I was pregnant at some point, because I was sedated. All I remember was lights flashing as I was wheeled to the OR and this awful pain in my stomach and then waking up eight hours later.

“I’d had a placental abruption. The doctors were surprised I’d made it as far along as I had. I was gonna call you as soon as I weaned myself off the meds. Then that shit in St. Barts came out and I…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t deal with a miscarriage and your bullshit at the same time.”

“It’s been months since, then, though,” Harry argued, staring down into his tea. “You could’ve told me. Should’ve told me. I deserved to know. That was my baby, too.”

“I know. I hate myself for not telling you. I started seeing a therapist in January. I was pretty messed up for awhile. It wasn’t until I moved to America that it started to get a little better.”

“That’s what your nightmares are from, then?” Harry finally looked at her. She was glad to see he wasn’t angry. She was always afraid that he’d hate her for not telling him sooner. He was obviously upset, but she figured he knew there was a bigger picture.

Sia nodded. “Yeah. Once I left the hospital, I started havin’ them.” Sia paused, taking a moment to catch her breath. All that happened was her throat tightening with a fresh rush of tears. “I’d only known I was pregnant for a few days, but I already loved that baby so much. Losing the pregnancy wrecked me.”

“How far along were you?”

“Doctors said about seventeen weeks,” Sia sighed. “It was a boy.”

Harry let his head drop back against the headboard. His face crumpled and new tears streamed down his cheeks. “We’d have a little boy right now.”

Sia mirrored his posture after putting her tea on the little table. She cleared her throat. “Yeah. He’d be about four months old now.”

Harry sniffled and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. “Did you name him?”

Her heart thudded in her chest and her skin flushed. She wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed by the name she’d given her unborn son, but she didn’t think she’d admit it to anyone. Only her parents knew his name. She hadn’t even told Ellen. The hospital had asked her if she wanted to name him and she hadn’t hesitated. He wouldn’t have an official death certificate, considering he hadn’t been far enough along in gestation to be considered a person, but it was something the nurses were going to do for her, just to honour him. She hadn’t hesitated in telling them the name she wanted in her records. It was the same name that was etched into the front panel of the wood urn she’d put his ashes in. The same urn that was sat on her dresser at home.

“Harry. I named him Harry.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #the long road home #TLRH

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shellderbeast · 2 years ago

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Welcome to my little Tumblr patch. Sewer goblins run amok here frequently and there’s often a great deal of swearing, but mostly in enthusiasm 💜

I’m female, a proud Western Australian, functional ADHD human (mostly) and since August 2021, a fanfiction writer that has also returned to drawing after 15+ years. Still finding my feet occasionally with internet etiquette, so bear with me while my brain catches up with the how-to of things.

So far, my fanfiction endeavours are based around the great works of the Mighty Alfabusa, which are If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device and Hunter: The Parenting. I blame this man 100% for my current WH40K hyperfixation, but the boyfriend is really at fault for introducing me to it (love you dear).

Thanks to a beautiful reader that inspired me to get back into art, I draw with pencil and paper, with a recent foray into using colours. Check out my DeviantArt if you like (Link - Shellderbeast47) , but I post on here too, because I thoroughly enjoy the Tumblr vibe and community, especially the Mittens shipping.

I am often that bad N S F W word Tumblr doesn’t like using, both in my writing and art. Turns out, I’m alright at writing smut, especially if it involves a couple of dashing superhumans in a grimdank setting 😅

As a guide to my works so far…

The Long Road Home Saga (TLRH) is my first creation that has turned into this behemoth that I cannot stop.

It is Magnus the Red x Captain-General Kitten x Captain Astraea, who is my OC, along with the enormous world of OC’s I have been inspired to build into the TTS verse.

This work also has a huge number of other perspectives with so many other TTS characters (mostly after Chapter 17, which is how long it took me to throw the three of them in bed together). It’s spawned multiple one-shots and we are currently up to Act II, which will cover episode 27 onwards for the ‘Mars Arc’…and beyond where Alfa has us on hiatus.

Mittens plus OC isn’t for everyone, but I’m incredibly proud of the work I’ve done so far, and it ain’t stopping anytime soon 💜 ❤️ 💛

Act I – The Long Road Home ~ Complete ~ 31 Chapters ~ 431,853 words (I use lots of subheadings to break up the chapters, so don’t be scared!) ~ Link

The Long Road Home – Fanart ~ The place I collate the beautiful fanart I’ve received as well as my own author art (9/6 Still gotta update with OC character references for Chapter 3) ~ Link

A Poker Game ~ A One-Shot Set during Chapter 19 (absolute smut I wrote as a birthday gift to myself 😝) ~ Link

A Penorosian Summer Night ~ A One-Shot technically set after the events of Act II, but Chapter 28 was such an emotional rollercoaster that I wrote it to make readers feel better that there will be a happy outcome in the future (Disclaimer: How long that happiness lasts for isn’t clear…) ~ Link

Act II – From the Ashes of Mars ~ In Progress ~ 3 Chapters (9/6/22) ~ 41,282 words ~ The current continuation of TLRH and we get ever closer to episode 30… ~ Link

But for pure, mostly canon Magnus x Kitten Mittens shipping, we have my other sordid child, Crimson Birds and Golden Felines ❤️ 💛

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the Mittens+OC fic, this one wouldn’t be anywhere near as well-written as it is. It’s a slowly crafted love of Mittens shipping that I’m trying to be as TTS-canon compliant as possible with, and the most popular by far. There is art within that TLRH – Fanart that is applicable to this too! Link - Crimson Bids and Golden Felines

Separate to both of those sagas, we have “The Phase” which is based around when Kitten had his time amongst the nude and oily. Yes, I’m a bad person. No, I don’t regret writing it (and shoutout to the person who beta read it for me <3). But it is applicable to both of those sagas, because it is a crucial foreshadowing as to why Kitten returned to his armour 💛

And its M/M/M/M smut. All consensual. But intense ~ Link

For the Hunter: The Parenting, I currently only have one fanfic completed, but I have the draft for a breakfast fluff (and let’s face it, probably smut) piece set before Episode 2, but after Big D and Kitten’s chinwag.

I also have the outline for Big D and Kevin fluffy smut, and no, I refuse to apologise for this because I think that raging pansexual is adorable with the snarky vampire wizard 💜

Priorities ~ One-shot ~ 4,630 words ~ Set immediately after Episode one ~ Link

I take questions and requests from one and all, so don’t hesitate to ask if you’ve got one! 💜

#pinned post #fanfiction #a collection of works #all sewer goblins welcome

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thecrusadercomrade · 3 years ago

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1, 22, 26, 35

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

I would tentatively place myself at a three. I know I'm far from the worst fanfic writer out there, but there's also a LOT of room for improvement, especially compared to some of the masterpieces I've seen on the internet. It'll take a lot more practice and learning to get really good at writing like I want to be.

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes I'll have a video playing in the background as I write, especially if the house is very quiet, but generally I found listening to anything while I write to be too distracting. When I'm in the zone for writing, I don't want anything else getting in the way of that.

26. Is there anything you've wanted to write, but you've been too scared to try?

I really want to do a rewrite of my TWDG fic The Long Road Home, which is the first ever fic I tried writing, and is also left unfinished. I have an outline up until season 4 that I never quite finished that I'd like to put to use, and I really want to do a rewrite to both finish the story and show how much I've improved since TLRH, since it's pretty awful looking back at it. Unfortunately I've already got two longfics going at the moment, and I imagine very few people who read my works would be interested in a TWDG fic, so I'm worried about losing peoples' attention if I start dedicating time to that. Maybe one day I'll start in on it as a side project, but for now I'm focused on things people actually want to read.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Already did this one, and I can't really think of anything else to ramble about at the moment! Sorry!

#ask #CrusaderWriting #The Long Road Home

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scribbleboxfox · 3 years ago

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Not to self-promo (but I’m gonna self-promo.) Here’s my own fic:

The Long Road Home

Basically the story goes that the Reds and Blues didn’t capture Hargrove at the end of S13, the UNSC didn’t believe Epsilon’s broadcast (because, come on, he’s an AI from the project that Hargrove helped defund,) and help didn’t come immediately after the transmission went out. If you like the idea of Locus getting an actual, hard-earned redemption arc, cool villains, intense fight scenes, and plenty of shenanigans, this is definitely the fic for you!

(Also I apologize in advance for how long it is, but it’s gonna be 5 whole seasons of content when it’s done. Also did I mention it’s illustrated?)

Anyone else feel like theyre running out of rvb content

#tlrh #rvb #red vs blue #rvb fic recs #rvb fic #pls go read it I've worked really hard on it lol #I can vouch for Mind Over Matter also it's VERY good

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rosewaterandivy · 11 months ago

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Happy 2024 everyone (& happy birthday to me)! Here's something I'm churning out sometime this year...

warnings: NSFW & MDNI - death, grief, suicidal ideation, drinking, smoking, daddy issues, Elizabethtown inspired, ST canon divergence with references to FOI, eddie is in his early 30s as is reader.

"Yello," He answers the phone, wedging it between his shoulder and jaw while tilting his head to focus on the task at hand. He deftly lines the scattered pills on the counter into some semblance of order and eyes the amber bottle of Buffalo Trace.

"Ed, it's Wayne," his uncle's gravelly voice sounds down the line. "Darlin', I got some, uh, news."

Eddie nods knowingly-- of course, it's gonna be bad news, is there any other kind? and taps the last pill into formation before turning to get a mug from the cabinet. "Could you call me tomorrow?"

"No."

Eddie grimaces and generously pours some of Kentucky's finest into the Garfield mug. He tries his best to sound pleasant, "Could you call me a little later?"

"No, honey." There's a slight hitch in Wayne's voice that would on any other day give Eddie pause.

Instead, he regards the pills in a row on the counter and the mug of whiskey. It beckons with the promise of oblivion.

Luckily, Eddie is not too proud to beg. "Can you give me ten minutes, Pops?"

"Al died," Wayne exhales, voice strained.

Despite himself, Eddie feels his limbs sink against the cool counter. As if the news is a physical blow, never mind that he hasn't seen his shitkicker of a father in years.

"He had a heart attack, darlin'. He was visitin' Mamaw back in Kentucky and she's in total shock."

Eddie can picture Wayne pinching between his eyes as if he could alleviate the tension building in his skull. Tired from working a double at the plant, leaning against the wall as he speaks into the phone.

"I've put in for time off from the plant, but y'know how they are. And I hate to do this to ya, but someone's gotta handle this."

With a sigh, Eddie's eyes close. His back hunches as he splays against the counter. As if this day could get any worse. He's now staring down the barrel of a ghastly, unfathomably awful day-- truly, one for the books.

And as he listens to Wayne's shaky voice, Eddie glances out the window paralyzed with the realization that he's now an orphan. Somehow, it's worse than the hurt from when Al abandoned him all those years ago. Second only to the pain he eventually numbed from his mama's passing. He blinks to clear the tears that gathered without his permission and takes a steadying breath, shoving the pills to the side.

For now.

"Okay Pops, what's the plan here?"

#not me hating this banner tho #the long ride home #fic: tlrh #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #stranger things fic

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scribbleboxfox · 7 months ago

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The Long Road Home has updated!

[LINK TO CHAPTER]

Fic info below the cut.

Chapters: 71/?

Fandom:Red vs. Blue

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Relationships: Agent Carolina/Vanessa Kimball, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Franklin Delano Donut/Frank “Doc” DuFresne, Katie Jensen/Charles Palomo, Siris / Megan, Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington

Characters: Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Agent Carolina (Red vs. Blue), Dick Simmons, Sarge (Red vs. Blue), Franklin Delano Donut, Lopez (Red vs. Blue), Dexter Grif, Frank “Doc” DuFresne, Lavernius Tucker, Michael J. Caboose, All the other AI’s, Vanessa Kimball, Epsilon, Donald Doyle, John Elizabeth Andersmith, Katie Jensen, Antoine Bitters, Charles Palomo, Matthews, Emily Grey, Original Characters, Felix | Isaac Gates, Locus | Samuel Ortez, Siris | Mason Wu, Megan Wu, Four Seven Niner, Malcolm Hargove, Kaikaina Grif | Sister

Additional Tags: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, PTSD, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Panic Attacks, Frisbee Murder (don’t ask), Attempted Murder, Space Battles, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Platonic Slow-Burn, Mental Instability, Flashbacks, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Platonic Relationships, Russian Roulette, Creepy-Ass Villains, Canon-Typical Violence, Major Character Injury, Redemption, So Many Space Dads, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Torture, Found Family, i take the canon and i put it in a box, and then i put that box into another box, then i mail it to myself, and when it arrives, i SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER, Canon Divergence, post s13

Summary: With The Staff of Charon a smoking-yet-functional speck on the horizon, and the threat of an active weapons system on one of Chorus’ moons, the fight is far from over. While Locus is no longer a threat, another one of Hargrove’s former lackeys waits for the Reds and Blues as they race to stop the weapons system from coming online. Does she really want to help them? Or is she hiding a more sinister motive? And why is she so interested in Locus?!

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scarletwix · 2 years ago

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Chapters: 1/10

Fandom: X-Men (All Media Types), X-Men (Movieverse)

Rating: M

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Major Character Death (Heed the tags pls)

Pietro Maximoff has found his sister, but as they prepare to return home to America, the life that they had built explodes around them. Now, all they want is to find somewhere safe. When an almost-familiar face comes knocking on their door to offer them the shelter that they need, will they take it? Or is the offer simply too good to be true?

Part Two of The Long Road Home

Part Three of Sanctuaryverse

#peter maximoff #pietro maximoff #x men dofp #x men #wix writes #tbh it's weird to post this it's been living in my head for so long now it's bizarre that other people are going to see it #this fic will not be for everyone and that's okay. it was written for me to help me work thru some stuff.#but I mean even if I'd just wanted to write darkfic that's my perogative lol #tlrh #tlrh: ds

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jackabelle73 · 4 years ago

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New year, new writing! I've been a crap participant in TMI Tuesday for the whole year I've been here and am trying to make amends! So my question to everyone this week is this: Are there certain asks you prefer? Personal stuff vs writing stuff? Prompts? Comments on writing in general? And one that's a little easier: Is there something this week you are working on that I can catch up on for asking next week? Thank ya!

I’ve been a crap participant in TMI Tuesday for about four years! Sometimes I don’t remember, and sometimes I just don’t bother b/c I haven’t posted anything new in ages. Then there have been times when I invited TMI questions, but no one sent me anything. So it’s a really mixed experience for me.

As for what kinds of asks I prefer, I guess I prefer asks focused on my writing, b/c that seems easier to talk about than myself. I really like it when people ask what led me to write a certain story, or how did I decide to have xx character do xx thing? Where did I get the title from? That sort of thing. I had an anon ask me about the epigraphs I included for each chapter of The Long Road Home, and I loved that, b/c I spent a lot of freakin’ time searching for those quotes and was hoping someone would notice. And since I mentioned TLRH, there was a non-OUAT character who showed up briefly in chapter eight of that fic. I was hoping someone would catch the reference I was making, or ask about the character, but no one ever did. (Hint, hint.)

As for what I’m working on this week... I’m supposed to be working on the next chapter of Love and Marriage, but I’ve been meaning to work on that since I abandoned it several months ago. *sigh* I’m currently in the process of re-reading the posted chapters, to remind myself of what I’ve written so far, and try to remember what the heck my plan was for that fic. If I can ever get that finished, my next Rumbelle fic will be the s6 AU that I’ve been meaning to write for about three years, but I’m kinda scared to. We’ll see how THAT goes.

Thanks for sending an ask!

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pretzelcactus · 7 years ago

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RVB rec day

@scribbleboxfox‘s fic The Long Road Home is my rec for september :) Its only 10/ nearly 100 chapters along so far but its already 49077 words and so good! and it has art!!!! like really good amazing art to go with some of the scenes! If you’re not sure if you want to read it or not go have a look through fox’ tlrh tag, although it does contain spoilers, obviously. The style is really nice and works very well with the detail she puts into the armour! (which always looks amazing)

So far Fox has blessed us with a very interesting and well written OC, a big robot lesbian, a great deal of Locus being not just a moody baby but also a helpful moody baby, a demolition team consisting of Donut, Tucker, and Sarge, Kimball(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and frisbee murder. I need this fic like I need water now.

#rvb rec day #scribbleboxfox #the long road home #i wanted to do two but I don't have time :'o #maybe next time I'll do three to make up for it #:p

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h-styles-babes · 5 years ago

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TWELVE

The next day was a long recording day. No one seemed to be able to agree on anything, and it wasn’t because everyone had opposing views; it was because nothing sounded right, and only three weeks in, it seemed like everyone was experiencing some sort of creative fatigue. Everyone seemed to be dragging their feet, and Harry complained once or twice about not being able to write songs. They were pretty much stumped on the songs they were already mid-production on, so they’d suggested Harry take some time to try to complete some songs he had in the works. That wasn’t working out so well either, evidently.

Everyone straggled around the studio until nearly ten that night, everyone finally just giving up and calling it a night, citing that a good night’s rest would help them replenish their creative flow. While everyone that was set up in nearby hotels got cabs to take them back into the city, Sia wandered to the kitchen, hoping to find a snack that would help her settle down for the night. But after a few minutes of searching and pondering, Sia realised that she was too frustrated with how the session had gone to let her mind settle. She shut the refrigerator door once more with a heavy sigh and glanced over her shoulder.

The moon was full that night, shining in all its splendour on the rippling waves of the water and sparkled on the fine sands of the beach. It looked so inviting that Sia was already opening the back sliding door before she had even made the conscious decision to go outside and down to the beach.

All the doors and windows in the house were set with security sensors, and it beeped when any of them were opened. When the three little chirps sounded out, Harry looked over the back of the couch from where he’d been playing a game on his phone. He saw Sia standing in the open doorway, moonlight washing over her face, illuminating her profile. It’d been a long time since he’d taken just a few moments to really admire how beautiful she was. Sure, he knew she was beautiful. They’d been in a relationship for years and friends for even longer, so he was always aware of her good looks. However, in that moment with the natural lighting grazing the high points of her face, she looked like a goddess. It felt like a punch in the chest when he felt those familiar butterflies take flight in his stomach.

“Goin’ for a walk?” Harry asked her, making her quickly turn to look at him. She hadn’t realised he was sitting there.

“Yeah. Need to let myself calm down from all this stress today. Beach looked good.”

“Mind if I join yeh? Need a few minutes myself, I reckon,” Harry told her, already standing. He’d changed since they’d been in the studio. He’d been wearing loose-fit jeans and an Eagles t-shirt, but now he was in a very old, very hole-y, Rolling Stones tee that Sia was pretty sure he’d owned since he was seventeen, and a pair of athletic shorts that were a bit too short by American standards, but no one looked twice at in the UK. He looked comfortable and snuggly, and Sia had a sudden urge to plop herself on the couch and pull him beside her and just cuddle. While the thoughts were no longer unpleasant, they were still a bit jarring, and she blinked a few times to dispel the feeling.

“Sure. Could use the company, I guess. Plus Mitch would probably pitch a fit if he knew I went out alone this late,” Sia said with an affectionate roll of her eyes.

Harry motioned for Sia to exit the house before him, closing the slider behind himself once he stepped out.

“You and Mitch have gotten close, I take it,” Harry commented as they made their way across the bridge that connected the property to the beach. Sia kicked off her sandals as soon as her feet touched the sand.

“Yeah. He’s like my American Ellen,” Sia joked. “Let’s me vent to him and just offers advice. No judgement, no harsh words. I mean, Ellen can be a bitch, but it’s out of love. Mitch is like Ellen, but without the harsh reality side. Give him a few months, though. He might start puttin’ me in my place.” Sia chuckled, just imagining Mitch actually saying something unkind. It wasn’t easy to picture. “Is always lookin’ after me, checkin’ in whenever I’ve wandered off. He’s been a good friend.”

Harry cleared his throat. They had taken up a slow but steady place along the shore, right at the edge of where the water washed up, letting the waves wash over their toes. There were a couple of bonfires off in the distance, creating dots of bright orange along the coast. The sound of the lapping water was loud in the quietness of the night. The surf was calm, the waves no bigger than half a meter. Everything was just as Sia had imagined it would be. It made her wonder why she didn’t take advantage of the beautiful beaches back in LA more often. Maybe now she wouldn’t take them for granted.

“I uh…I was the one that sent him out lookin’ for you that first time,” Harry admitted, sounding a little bashful in his delivery.

Sia looked over at him, having to tilt her head up slightly to accommodate for their height difference. The moonlight was so bright that she could see the slight pink tinge of his cheeks and the high points of his ears.

She waited a beat before responding, “I know. Mitch told me.”

Harry hummed, dipping his chin to his chest. “Wanted to go myself, but thought better of it. Mitch said he’d go for me. Just didn’t want yeh gettin’ lost out here by yourself in the dark.”

Sia bit at the inside of her cheeks, contemplating how exactly she was going to respond. Her and Harry were still in this delicate place between tipping to hating each other again or tipping to becoming friends like they once were. She didn’t want to go back to yelling at each other and avoiding each other at all costs. Everything she’d conditioned in herself over the last year told her to tell him he needed to mind his own business, because she was none of his concern anymore, but she kept reminding herself that they were working toward being friends again.

“I know I’ve bit your head off about it a couple times before,” Sia began hesitantly, dipping her head down to look at her feet as they shuffled through the packed sand, “but I do actually appreciate your concern. Kinda miss havin’ someone look after me. Not that I’m not capable of lookin’ after myself. But…” Sia shrugged, “yeh know.”

Harry stopped walking, and Sia only walked past him for a pace or two before realising he was behind her. She turned on her heel and looked at him. He had his head tilted down to his feet, both hands shoved in his pockets. His toes were wiggling in the damp sand.

“What?” Sia asked, very aware that he was toying with something he wanted to tell her in his mind.

Harry sighed before looking back up at her, giving her the courtesy of looking her in the eyes. “I know we agreed to not dive into all our shit, but, I feel like it’s doing ourselves a disservice if we don’t at least talk about something. It just eats at me sometimes.”

Sia felt her jaw clenching in an automatic reaction to Harry’s confrontation. And it wasn’t even really a confrontation, it was more of a pleading suggestion, and it was one that was a long time coming. She had really got to get over her split-second reactions to all the things that Harry did, otherwise she’d be sprouting grey hairs before the end of this all.

“Can we…” Sia began, trying to unclench her teeth. She looked around and spotted a fairly big boulder that looked like it would do for a bit of seating while they were hashing things out. “Can we at least go sit for this?” she asked, gesturing to where she’d seen the rock, just a little ways down the shore.

Harry nodded and silently followed her, helping her take a seat before he arranged a comfortable position for himself. For thinking he was ready to have this conversation with her, he was feeling a lot of nerves about opening up the communication about what it was that had went wrong between them. He didn’t want it to be the beginning of the end yet again.

When Harry had been silent for longer than Sia was comfortable with, she sighed and looked over at him. He had a nearly violent grip on his lower lip with his index finger and thumb, turning the skin a pale colour.

“Know I’ve said it before, but it really wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Harry started before Sia could say anything to prompt him. She started ringing her hands together in anticipation and nervousness.

She wasn’t sure she was ready for this, but everyone in her life had assured her that she was more than ready, and she was more than strong enough to deal with it. She just had to stop convincing herself that it would push her over the edge and past her limits. She had made it through the trauma itself and was functioning as a normal, productive, sound person. She had to believe that dealing with it alongside the other person that was involved would only help her heal. It was the only way she was going to stop herself from freaking out further.

“What was it supposed to be like, then?” Sia asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldn’t look Harry in the eye, or even in the general direction of his face. She kept her eyes trained towards the ocean, watching the waves swell and crash against the sand. That was sort of how her life felt over the last year. A big swell of goodness and happiness and progress right before it all came crashing down, breaking against the shore and scattering in different directions. It kept happening to her over and over again, and she so badly wanted off the ride.

“I just…needed time,” Harry stumbled out. He ran his hand through his hair, lightly tugging at the strands. “Everythin’ was changing. Zayn left. The band was endin’. No one really knew what the fuck we were doing past early December. August was kinda the beginnin’ of the end.”

Sia clenched her jaw against his reasoning. Was he serious?

“So that meant the end of us, too? I was just another thing who’s ties needed to be cut? That’s fuckin’ fantastic, Harry. Really glad the three years in a relationship and over a decade of friendship meant so much to you.”

She moved to press herself up and off the rock, already regretting allowing herself to even begin this conversation. All this time she had spent convincing herself that speaking with Harry and forming some sort of new relationship with him was the best for her mental health and her own piece of mind had all been a waste. Her therapist would be getting a phone call in the morning.

“Wait!” Harry shouted, his voice sounding much too loud in the quietness of the evening. His hand darted out and grabbed ahold of her wrist gently, urging her to stay put and not walk away from him like she’d done countless times before. Doubtlessly, she’d been entitled to the storm-off before, but he thought they were past that now. They needed to talk, and he wasn’t going to just let her walk away this time.

“That’s not…” Harry rushed to get out, making sure she was still sitting on the rock beside him. “That’s not what I meant, love. I didn’t wanna drag you into all that shit with me. You were on the verge of startin’ your dream career. What woman wants to have a boyfriend that wanders aimlessly because he has no idea where his life is going? I just needed time to get my shit together after the end of the band, and I didn’t wanna pull you down in my slump.”

“So you broke up with me ‘for my own good’?” Sia asked, genuinely confounded. She didn’t think she’d ever furrowed her brow so hard before. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

“It wasn’t just about you!” Harry insisted, trailing his hand from where it had still had a grip on her wrist to hold hers. He didn’t dare intertwine their fingers, so he kept them palm to palm, his fingers curled around the back of her hand. Just as a way to keep her anchored to him, at least for the duration of their conversation. “I didn’t want it fucking us up. Our friendship didn’t deserve a disastrous falling out because I was lazing around, unable to pull my life together. I swore I’d never be able to forgive myself if that happened.”

Harry swallowed harshly as he watched Sia watch him. Her eyes flitted around his face, most likely searching for any signs of insincerity, but he knew she wasn’t going to find any.

“I know that was selfish and stupid of me, but it was comin’ from a good place. I was tryin’ to preserve our friendship. Then, maybe if I got my shit together, we could go back to how we were.”

“That obviously didn’t happen,” Sia reminded him, not so kindly. “And somehow, finding you on a yacht with a model you’d claimed over and over again was just a friend just weeks after your last appearance with the boys doesn’t scream ‘man trying to get his shit together to get back with his ex-girlfriend.’”

Harry flinched at the venom in her voice, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. He deserved the ridicule and the harsh words. Nothing about his behaviour in those months after One Direction broke up spoke to the words he was trying to convince her of now. What man is spotted and photographed with his hands on the ass of another woman and then claims he’d broken up with his ex in order to try to preserve their relationship? Sia was calling absolute bullshit on that one.

“We were on holiday and drunk most of the time.”

“With your mum in tow? I’m sure Anne loved that.”

“She was just a…”

“Rebound? Booty call? Easy fuck? Pick one, Harry.”

“We’d been separated for months. Like you haven’t been with others since then.”

Sia was clenching her jaw so hard that it was beginning to hurt. She’d be paying for it the following day.

“No, actually, I haven’t. Unlike the other half of this relationship, I went into mourning after the end of my three year partnership that I’d thought was the be all end all for me.”

Harry would never realise the double meaning of her statement.

Sia couldn’t handle this conversation anymore. So much for taking a calming walk to shake off all the stress from the day. Now she was just more stressed, her shoulders up by her ears and her teeth audibly grinding against each other. And she was angry. She needed to go.

She pushed herself up from the rock they were sat on, and this time she didn’t let Harry’s protest stop her. She was already five meters away before Harry caught up to her, gently grabbing at her wrist once again. She shook him off and he let her, making sure she knew that his contact was only to get her to slow down and recognise his presence.

For all her initial anger at his comment and the reaction it had drawn out of her, the brisk walk she’d taken away from him and his appearance made her come to her senses.

She really had no right to be holding this grudge nearly a year on, and he was right, even if his argument sounded a little childish. They hadn’t been together anymore, so he really had no obligation to stay away from any women or abstain from sex. Sure she was hurt that he’d moved on so quickly after he’d broken up with her and had claimed that it was for the best for the both of them, but that didn’t justify her continued anger over the matter. She had bigger emotional things to worry about, and her fictionalised version of Harry that had been unfaithful was unfair to both him and herself. She needed to move past it.

Sia stopped suddenly, causing Harry to nearly trip over his own feet as he hurried to meet her movements. She stared down at her feet, and Harry watched as she chewed at her bottom lip. He wasn’t sure what it was that had her thinking so hard, but he hoped this wasn’t her shutting down even more.

After what seemed like hours, but was really only a few moments, Sia finally looked up at him, looking much less tense than she had just a few minutes before. Harry didn’t want to get his hopes up, though.

“I’m sorry,” Sia said, shaking her head, though she looked more exasperated with herself than anything else. “I overreacted. I’ve been overreacting for months now. It wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Harry asked, genuinely confused by her apology. He had never questioned her anger at him over the breakup and the subsequent events that led to their falling out. It had hurt him to see her so angry and knowing it was his fault, but he’d never been upset with her over it. So her apology was out of left field for him.

“For holding this grudge against you for no reason. I don’t apologise for my initial anger over the breakup, but I do apologies for all these months of animosity. Cutting you out of my life completely and making our families our go-betweens was childish. I don’t wanna do all this anymore, Harry.”

“So…?”

“So I’m calling a cease-fire,” she stated succinctly. “No more harsh words, no more heightened guards, no more tension. I want my childhood friend back.”

Harry was sure he had never smiled harder in his life.

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles icons #harry styles writing #the long road home #TLRH #love how this is a day and a half time #and literally no one cared lol

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