#fic: lawyer yoongi | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kingofbodyrolls · 1 year ago

Text

I really like the back story in this so far, and damn, I feel like OC's life is just a mangled puzzle of lies. Like she hasn't found her thing yet, or what makes her truly happy in life 🥺 I look forward to the next chapter, hopefully seeing Yoongi will cheer her more up 🌸❤️

the road not taken | myg

teaser

masterlist

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, slow burn, flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 12k

—a/note: literally finding the courage to post this rn because yesterday i had an identity crisis and i wanted to delete everything!!! but i hope you like it more than me <3 feedback is very much appreciated, if you want to be on the taglist pls let me know!!

part one: back home

Four years ago.

In your almost twenty one years of life, you never had to spend the holidays without your eldest brother, you were never prepared for that. All the attention of your family was fixed on you now, making you feel like you were an only child for the first time. It felt weird, but nostalgic, like you were waiting for him to enter through the door at any moment. You supposed it was going to happen at some point, opening the gifts with just your mom, sitting on the front seat of the car for the first time while listening to christmas songs on the radio, only to arrive to your grandparents’ home and attempt to survive the questions of your future alone, that didn’t sound fun at all.

Simon, your eldest brother, didn’t die, by the way, he just got a girlfriend. A girlfriend? Yes, a girlfriend, that word wasn’t part of his vocabulary, or at least it wasn’t a few years ago when he left for college, but now all of a sudden he had a serious one, the kind who invited their boyfriends to spend the holidays with their families. Now Simon wore knitted sweaters, drank black coffee and listened to all the bands your uncle liked, he grew up, or something like that, but you didn’t think he grew up enough to get a girlfriend, to fall in love. Well, you hoped he was in love, you didn’t meet the girl yet but you hoped he was, at least that was what he said.

Yes, Christmas without your brother sounded a bit sad, but New Year’s eve on the other hand… didn’t sound so bad.

If your brother’s absence would’ve happened years ago, you would’ve planned this the same way as always, getting drunk with your highschool friends at the only decent party that there was in your hometown around that time, only this time he wasn’t going to be around to tell you to stop drinking or to take the joint off your mouth when you failed to hide from him to smoke weed. But this year you got sick of all that, you got sick of the same faces from highschool and all the girls who approached you just because they wanted to fuck your brother, or all the girls who fucked your brother’s best friend, maybe you got sick of the same music, the same party, the same people. This year you felt like you were seventeen again, too afraid to wish that something different could happen, maybe this time you weren’t coming home alone after watching Yoongi giving the first kiss of the year to some random girl, maybe this time your heart wasn’t going to hurt that much.

Yoongi, your brother’s best friend, was painfully always there in your life, you didn’t know how the mess that was your brother was able to have such a good friend, they knew each other even before you were born, when they were only four and met each other at basketball practice. Yoongi was always like your brother’s conscience, the voice of reason, the calm one, the designated driver ever since he was sixteen, the smart one, the boy every mother wanted as their son. Yoongi was the boy who helped you with your math homework when you were eleven, he was the boy who defended you when your brother made fun of you, the boy who gave you his joystick so you would stop crying when you found out your brother was making you play with the one that didn’t work. He was sweet and kind with everybody, you wished you knew that when you were twelve so you could save yourself the eternal heartache that came along with being in love with a man who only saw you as your brother’s little sister.

Yoongi was always mature, always wiser, always older. And you were always immature, always stubborn, always younger. Just a brat who couldn’t stand the fact that he was the only one you wanted, but the only one you couldn’t have.

Maybe forgetting about him when he went away to college was the best thing that happened to you, you pretended he didn’t exist during the school year and made yourself believe you got over it, that your heart didn’t jump every time you called your brother and you heard his voice in the background, that you didn’t read every birthday message he sent you since you were sixteen until you memorized them, that you didn’t compare every guy to him and that you weren’t annoyed when you realized that none of them was half as intelligent as him. You were obligated to pretend you weren’t condemned to look for his face in every crowd ever since you were a teenager. All that mental effort was wasted away when you came back home for the holidays and saw him sitting on your couch again.

You repeated the cycle every year as you pretended that your heart wasn’t tired of it, like seeing him that morning in your kitchen didn’t make your heart drop like you were twelve years old again.

It began when you heard voices coming from the second floor, an outburst of laughter, your mother’s laughter, and then the laugh that echoed so many times in your dreams, were you still in a dream? You thought you might be in one when you entered the kitchen and saw the long figure of the man, the long figure of Yoongi, sitting on a stool as he peeled a tangerine and listened to your mother talk, but the minute they noticed your presence they fell silent.

Two pairs of eyes landed on your sleepy face, making you aware that you were wearing your old pajamas, the one that was pink and had a bunny pattern all over it. You locked eyes with him and it felt like it hadn't passed a day since the last time you saw him.

“What are you two gossiping about so early?” You wondered out loud, slowly approaching the aisle of the kitchen, slowly approaching Yoongi, whose hair was slightly shorter from the last time you saw him and whose cheeks were still red from the cold outside. You arrived three days ago, confidently thinking that even if your mind was a mess at least you didn't have to see your brother's best friend's face.

In your mind, you cursed your mom for always telling him that he will be forever welcomed in her house.

“Why do you care?” He spat at you, following your figure with his eyes as you sat in one of the stools beside him. “That’s between your mom and me.”

“Dude,” You said under your breath, grabbing a tangerine from the bowl of fruits in front of you “You have to get a fucking girlfriend.”

Your mother frowned, annoyed, but Yoongi is too used to you to do anything else but laugh.

“God, darling, you barely open your eyes and you’re already cursing.” She complained, shaking her head in disapproval. You shrugged, pretending to pay full attention to the tangerine in your hands.

“It’s fine, Lila. I can handle her.” He said, carefree as ever.

You scoffed, “Yeah, sure.” You played it cool, as if that didn’t make your heart just a little. “What are you doing here, anyway? Weren’t you supposed to come back for christmas?”

“Why?” He asked, “You want me gone?”

You saw a stupid smirk appear in his face, the same one you’ve seen countless times in the past. It seemed to be the only thing that could put out your cocky attitude.

“Don’t be stupid.” You managed to answer, running away from his eyes.

You heard him sigh “I finished early, I arrived last night.” He answered the question, reaching his hand under the counter to pinch your thigh, as if that could shake off your bad attitude, plot twists: it only made it worse. “That’s what I was talking about with your mom, I left Simon behind while he was still dealing with exams.”

“Such a good friend.” You joked.

“Maybe… But hey, he’s the one who ditched me for a girl after all.”

“Well, if it’s a pretty girl you can’t blame him so much.”

“If you say so…” He hissed, rolling his eyes “What about you, huh?” He changed the topic “What are you doing here two weeks early?”

“You see, this is my house.” You quickly replied, putting the first tangerine segment between your lips to avoid saying the truth. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.

Of course there was a coherent reason for why you weren’t in school right now, but since you arrived you couldn’t seem to quit the bad attitude, especially in the mornings, it was driving you crazy.

“You shouldn’t ask, dear.” Your mom intervened, turning around to wash her mug previously filled with coffee “Sensitive topic.”

Yoongi’s eyes shifted to you again, as well as his whole body, curiously raising his eyebrows.

“Sensitive topic.” You mocked your mother, annoyed that she used such words. She was quick to disappear from the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone. You wondered if she was already tired of hearing you whine.

“Don’t think I won’t ask you about it.” He smirked, stealing a segment of your tangerine just to annoy you.

Oh, you were sure he would want all the details.

“Whatever.” You gritted your teeth. “You only came to see Lila? I bet she would love to switch you with me.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Yoongi smugly said, ignoring the sudden annoyed look on your face, he was too used to it to be bothered by it. “But as much as I love your mom, I came to see you.”

You blinked, not sure what to say next. Now your angry expression turned into a surprised one, cursing yourself for feeling excited to hear that. You knew Yoongi finished early and was coming back home, you asked your brother about it last time he called you, you were just playing dumb when you asked, but when Simon told you he was going to be in town you didn’t expect to see him in your house the next day he arrived.

“Me?” You tried to confirm.

“Yeah, you.” He said, booping the tip of your nose “Simon told me you’ve been having trouble with your car, I thought I could help.”

You nodded, that made more sense than him just coming to see you.

“Simon is such a snitch.” You murmured.

“I can’t deny that…” He laughed, looking at you tearing apart your tangerine and putting another segment between your lips, “Do you… want me to help?”

“Maybe…” You murmured “Do I have to pay you?”

“Maybe…” Yoongi answered, imitating your tone “Or you can just tell me why you are here before the break, I don’t know.”

You squinted at him, knowing it was just a matter of time until everybody found out you dropped out of college, but there was certain relief in delivering the news to Yoongi, something inside you told you he would understand.

“Bold of you to blackmail me when I know you won’t fix my car properly.” You accused him, mentioning that time he tried to fix your brand new car when something happened to it and you had to take it to his uncle’s garage when he made it worse.

“C’mon, that was only once.”

“Let’s not make it twice, then.” You clapped your hands, getting off the stool to walk towards the stairs to your room again “Let me change first. And don’t try to seduce my mom while I’m gone, it won’t work.”

You heard his laugh from behind, and even if you thought about it, you didn’t dare to look back.

Not even five minutes later, you found yourself with him in your cold garage under the dim old light that provided you the tiny room. You supposed it was easier to open the garage door but you didn’t want your fingers to be frozen.

You sat on the old desk in the corner of your garage as you watched Yoongi open the hood of your car, trying not to stare when pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows.

He was wearing a beige sweater that tightened around his shoulders and his waist, Simon told you that he and Yoongi started going to gym lately and you could tell, his back was wider than you remember and you hated how different he was from the last time you saw him.

You hated to think there were people who saw him everyday and couldn’t tell the difference.

You looked at your feet hanging in the air, hearing him suck his breath just to let you know he was just about to start throwing questions at you.

“So?” He asked, persistent as always.

“So what?” You played dumb.

“So?” He emphasized, not willing to give up.

So? You didn’t know how to start. Serious talks weren’t your thing, and even if you knew that Yoongi wasn’t expecting that from you, you still felt a rush of nervousness when the absence of his voice filled the room, your cue to start talking.

“Mmm… It’s difficult to explain.” You trailed off. “I’m starting to think that I might be the black sheep of the family.”

Your words made him turn his head at you, curious to hear more.

“The black sheep?” He repeated.

“Yeah, I think so.” You confirmed, without saying anything else.

“Fine…” Yoongi scratched the back of his head, a bit confused, something that was normal when he was with you. “You’re not giving me a lot of context.”

You knew this, but making a joke was easier than telling the whole truth. You wished you could tell him jokes until he forgot what your mother told him. But no, your mother already opened her mouth and now you had to explain your life crisis to the man in front of you.

“Let’s just say.. I dropped out of the semester…” You mumbled, unsure of your own voice “but I’m thinking that it is not just the semester, maybe it’s the whole thing.”

Yoongi turned his whole body to you, paying full attention to your words “Really?” He asked, just in case you were joking, but by the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice he could tell that you weren’t playing. You just nodded “Why, though?”

“That’s something I’ve been asking myself.”

“You don’t know?” He chuckled, making you roll your eyes.

“Maybe I don’t know.” You tried to admit, but that was a lie.

“Mmm, but I think you do know, though.” He contradicted you, turning around to keep checking your car.

“Well, kind of… Do you want me to tell you half of the truth or a lie?” You offered him, leaving him without many options.

“Well, you are not very democratic, Pinky.” He scoffed, using the not-so-funny nickname he’s been calling you ever since you were kids. Only Yoongi could still be calling you like some character from an old cartoon that aired twenty years ago. “But I choose the half truth.”

“Wise decision, as always.” You commented, clicking your tongue. “The half truth is… that being a nurse is not my thing, I don’t want to be that predictable, being the bitch in highschool that ended up being a nurse. At least I want to be the bitch in high school who ended up being something else. And I was not happy at college, not even a bit. I don’t think that’s who I am”

Yoongi frowned, trying to process all the words you just vomited. If that was half the truth, what was the whole truth?

“Wait, wait. Let’s go for parts.” He stopped you. “So, now you were a bitch in high school?”

“You know I was.” You said, rolling your eyes.

Bitch was a strong word to call yourself, but to be fair you weren't being the nicest with yourself these past weeks. You stared at him, waiting for him to admit that yes, you were a bitch when you were seventeen years old, but that would be a lie. Yoongi would never have called you a bitch, you did have an attitude, you weren’t the friendliest in the mornings, you weren’t friends with everyone, you treated boys like shit, but you weren’t a bitch to him.

“Isn’t that too… harsh?” He asked softly.

“Isn’t it the truth?” You kept pushing it, but you were crazy if you think he’s going to agree with you.

Yoongi shook his head, taking a long step to break the small distance that was between the two of you so he could be in front of you. As a gentle gesture, he put his cold hands on your knees, it was not an unusual gesture, but it had been so long since you had him that close that you couldn’t help but shiver. “I know you don’t like me getting all sappy, but I hope you know that only you get to decide who you are, and if you don’t think that is a nurse, then it’s not.” He rubbed his palms on your clothed skin, searching for his last words. “But, I must say, I don’t think a bitch is who you are either.”

The cold room suddenly turned warm under his gaze, catching you with your guard down once again. You hated when he turned conversations into something like this, and worse, you hated when you bumped into the ugly reality that surrounded you when his eyes stopped looking at yours. This was not easier than last year, you wondered if it will ever be easy.

“Well, the boys in my class might disagree.” You said, looking straight into his eyes.

He laughed. “Well boys at that age are dumb.”

“Boys are always dumb.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Even me?” He asked, batting his eyelashes at you like he was a little girl.

“Especially you, I bet you don’t know what the hell are you doing right now with my car.”

Yoongi reached out to try to pinch your knees, but you escaped from his fingers. “God, you’re so mean.” He complained

“So mean?” You questioned, moving closer to him and pretending to be annoyed.

“Yeah, so mean” He repeated “But not a bitch.”

You rolled your eyes, watching him turn around again to come back to your car. You can’t help but feel disappointed when he moved away. “So… If you are not a nurse, what are you?”

You tilted your head, thinking about it. What were you? Well, in your room you were a dancer and in your dreams a mermaid, but in reality you were too embarrassed and too afraid, too insecure to admit what “you were”.

“I don’t know.” You hesitated to answer. You loved Yoongi, in more ways that you could ever allow yourself to love him, but you could not tell him all your dreams just like that.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” He sang, mocking you, but from your position you could only resist pushing him into your car. “You don’t have to say it, I already know.”

You quirked an eyebrow, curious. “Do you?” A smirk appeared on your face, but he couldn’t see it, he was still working on God knows what.

“Kind of…” He laughed “I don’t know exactly, but I do know that you are too bright to just be a nurse, with all due respect to the nurses, of course.”

You stared at his back until he turned his head to find your eyes, offering you a soft smile. You mentally cursed him, if he hadn’t turned around you could blush like a teenager without care, but now your cheeks were red and your heart was jumping, the only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t hear it from where he was standing.

“That isn’t very respectful to nurses.” You simply said, and he shook his head, laughing.

“Maybe, but I still stand by what I said.”

“Well, whatever I might be,” You started saying, trying to keep talking with all your feelings still swirling around inside your chest, “I still don’t want to disappoint any more people by making the wrong decision and coming back to live with my mom in six months.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, not because he was mocking you, but because he couldn’t believe how you couldn’t be at least a little positive, how you were only twenty one and you felt like there was no turning back.

“Who don't you want to disappoint?” He chuckled, “I really thought you didn’t care about that stuff.”

“I thought so too!” You exclaimed, just as surprised as him. “But I already disappointed my mom, Simon will be disappointed too when he finds out, I’m sure.”

“God, you’re so wrong, I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now.” He tried to joke, but the feeling of emptiness that had been living in your stomach for the past months didn’t go away just like that. “Do you really think that about your mom?”

“I don’t know!” You said, throwing your arms in the air to be just a little more dramatic that you were already being “But when I told her she made that face that she does when she’s annoyed or upset, now she wants to talk to me about the future every time we sit down to eat, she looks at me like that all the time, like she’s mad with me or something.”

For the past few days you tried to understand your mom, but you failed when you tried to understand yourself. After Simon followed Yoongi to law school, your mom expected you to do something similar, and when you decided to be a nurse she was content enough, both of her kids were off to college now, nothing could go wrong.

Your mom always bragged that she knew you like the palm of her hand, the only conclusion she could reach when you appeared at your house with the news was that you were never happy with what you had, you always had to have something else, something you couldn’t have. And even if you were about to be mature enough to admit she was right, you knew she wasn’t completely. Yes, you were a brat, but you felt in your heart this time was different.

“C’mon, Pinky. I don’t think your mom is disappointed, I’m sure she is just confused. You were two years into college, she must think this came out of nowhere, she’ll have time to understand that it didn’t.” He turned around a pointed a tool hanging on the wall, you didn’t knew the name of it, or what the fuck he was doing with your car, but you handed it to him anyway. “And, she’ll have even more time to understand that you’re not Simon and that her children are two completely different people.”

“Do you think?” You murmured.

“Yes, dummy. And you’re crazy if you think your brother would ever be disappointed in you for something like that, he is the first person that supports you no matter what, he’ll understand that dropping out of college is not the end of the world.”

You stayed in silence, not daring to say a single word after what he said. You wanted to say that you were tired of all of that, how predictable Yoongi was, how terribly annoying it was for him to always be right. How was it that he always knew what to say? Was it so hard for him to be wrong at least once so you could argue with him? So you could correct him and tell him that he was saying nonsense? Yes, it was. You just rolled your eyes, even if he wasn’t watching you.

“You’re insufferable.” You said, when what you really wanted to say was just “thank you”, but he understood.

“Maybe I am.” He laughed, “But at least I’m not the one trying to find excuses to be miserable.”

You watched him put the tools aside and closed the hood of your car, but you were too focused on something else to ask if your car was okay or not. He grabbed a piece of cloth lying next to you and wiped his hands, “What about my grandma?” You wondered out loud, like he knew what to do about that as well.

“You’re seriously not thinking about your grandma right now.” He leaned over your car, with his arms crossed over his chest while shaking his head disapprovingly. If it was any other guy doing that, you would have told him to get the fuck away from your car, but Yoongi still had his sleeves rolled up, which made you think it was okay for now.

“But I am.” You answered “I can already picture her face when she finds out, I can already hear the comments of her neighbor’s daughter, how she’s on her fourth year of medicine and I’m going back to square one again or some shit like that. The worst thing is that Simon is not here, so I’ll have to endure all of that alone.”

Yoongi was run by logic most of the time, so it was hard for him to understand how fast your imagination flew, but he knew that was part of your very theatrical self. It wouldn’t hurt him to become a little more like you, maybe being a rational person made him more intelligent, but sometimes made him more of a fool.

“And since when do you care what your grandma thinks?” He laughed, “She will always have something to complain about, to impress her you would have to be born again, but this time blonde and with blue eyes. Do I need to remind you again, that woman doesn’t have a loving bone in her body?”

“God, stop.” You sighed, fully knowing he was right.

“You stop.” He laughed, “Stop trying to make everyone happy but yourself.”

“Well, maybe that’s the hardest thing to do.” You murmured.

“Getting your shit together is the hardest thing to do, but I’m sure you’ll get there.”

Believing Yoongi surely is not the hardest thing to do for you, but when it comes to believing in yourself is a whole different thing.

“Says the man who always has his shit together.” You snorted “Difficult to believe you.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, moving from your car to sit next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk “That’s not true.” He tried to deny it.

“Yeah, sure.” You bumped his shoulder “Name one time you couldn’t balance your personal life with your academic life.”

Yoongi straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest and pretending to think about it.

“Mmm… Right now?” He murmured.

“Right now?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yeah, look at me.” He pointed at himself. “I don’t think I have a personal life at this point, all I could think about was finishing early to come home to my mom so I could take care of her, and guess what?”

“What?” You asked, curiously.

“She told me she already planned a trip with my aunt for both Christmas and new years. She ditched me, and now? I’m alone, I’m starting to think my personal life was just my mom.”

You covered your mouth, not being able to hold yourself back before bursting in laughter. “She ditched you?” You laughed, but he nodded, annoyed that you’re laughing at him. “Oh my God, she got rid of you.”

“She got rid of me.” He affirmed.

“Lucky her, honestly.” You teased him “Isn’t that proof enough that you have to relax with her? You’re in college worrying about her health and she’s here organizing trips with her sister.”

Yoongi shook his head, still in denial, “Maybe, but she can’t do things like this without letting me know first.”

“Why not?” You scoffed “She’s an adult, isn’t she?”

“She’s an adult, but I’m her son.” He huffed “And that’s all I’ve ever known to do, care for her.”

“Well, you can take care of her at the same time you take care of yourself.” You reminded him “I’m sure that’s what your mom wants as well, she would be pissed to know you’re forgetting about your own life being busy worrying about her.”

Yoongi knew you were right, he knew that more than anyone but still couldn’t help but worry about his mom. She had her siblings, who always knew how to take care of her, but he always felt like it was his responsibility as her son to do it, no one could take that thought off his mind. The only reason he brought it up was because you asked, but it was not a thing he wanted to discuss right now, he could put his social life on pause if that meant his mom was going to be okay.

He turned his head at you, offering you an amused grin as he ruffled your hair with his hand, willing to change the topic. “Why are you scolding me? I’m supposed to scold you.”

You pushed his hand off you, “I don’t need you to scold me, I have enough with my mom.” You sighed “Besides, if it were a competition, I would win. At least you have a future, I’m more fucked than you.”

“No, yeah. I’m sure of that.” He teased you back “You just have to make up your mind, I know it’s a mess inside there but I believe you can do it.”

“I hope so.” You said, and this time your words are sincere. “But for now the plan is to survive the holidays, then I can get my shit together.”

Yoongi laughed, sitting next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk. “Sounds like a good plan to me.” He agreed. “And you know, about christmas…”

“What about christmas?” You asked, at the risk of looking so visibly lost in his eyes.

“I was thinking… Since I don’t have any plans for Christmas…” He hesitated to say, lengthening the syllables of his words. “I was thinking… If you want to, I can go with you in place of your brother. You know, so you won’t be alone.”

The offering took you off guard, among all the things Yoongi could tell you, (the realistic ones, not the ones that only happened in your dreams) that was the most surprising. You had spent Christmas with Yoongi in the past, but your heart jumped at the thought of him spending Christmas with you, and not with your brother. Was he serious?

“Really?” You asked, afraid that he could see the excitement in your eyes “Would you do that?”

“Of course.” He smiled, “We can talk shit about your grandma together.”

You can hardly hide the smile on your face, you have to suppress the immense urge you have to hug him. “In that case, I would love it if you come.” You dared to admit “I mean, you owe me that for fucking up my car again.” You pointed at your car, already knowing that he couldn’t fix it.

He closed his eyes shut, throwing his head back “God, I’m sorry.”

Present

You had been wishing to sleep in your childhood bedroom for the past two months. You had been wishing to lay under the baby blue covers, have your mom kiss you goodnight and sleep a nap long enough to heal your heart.

You had been feeling like you were thirteen again for the whole year, thirteen and completely clueless, thirteen and scared, running home because you just saw your brother’s best friend kissing a girl at the bus stop, hiding under the covers and trying to forget that you were thirteen and there was no way he could ever see you the same way as that girl.

The last time that you visited your mom’s house was a year ago. You texted her every week, sent her and your brother gifts and tickets so they could see you in the current play you were in, but visiting her house was harder than it looked for you. You managed to come once every few years for thanksgiving, telling your mom that you were busy and that theater life was like that, but the truth was that after so many years you still couldn’t find the courage to spend more than two days in the town you grew up in, not after everything, not after Yoongi.

After so long, you were back where you started, running home after hitting a wall. The life you built with your own hands, the life that was supposed to be your dream turned out to be a lie, the boyfriend of three years you thought you loved was now gone, and the only person who ended up breaking your heart was yourself.

When was the moment you stopped calling you brother every three days? Or when you stopped showing up at every birthday? When was the moment you got so far from the person you used to be? You weren’t thirteen anymore, you were twenty five and just now you realized that no matter how many shiny people you have around, you are still alone and far from home.

Now you were headed home, with a bag full of clothes in the trunk of your car, prepared to install yourself in your mom’s house for the rest of the winter, determined to get your shit together, just like you thought you did a few years ago. Oh, how you wished you didn’t have to do this, how you wished you weren’t a complete mess. You wished you could enter your mother’s home and ignore the fact that you didn’t remember when was the last time you told her I love you, but to be fair with yourself, you didn’t remember the last time someone told you I love you either.

Your mom knew you were coming, she was the first one who knew about your break up with Ian, your boyfriend, so she was assuming that you were sad and heart broken, and even if that was true, it wasn’t because of the break up, you were the one who left him.

You didn’t know why, but you assumed that Ian understood what your relationship was, a sad pact that benefited both of your acting careers, a good image for the media, both of the most successful young actors being allegedly in love, and for you, just an arrangement to avoid being alone. How surprised you were when he got down on one knee and proposed, with his mom’s ring on one hand and a bunch of your so-called friends hiding in the distance, preparing to celebrate when you were supposed to say ‘yes’. He had a smile on his face, convinced that wasn’t the worst idea that ever crossed his mind. You thought it was clear that you never wanted to marry him, you believed you found someone who loved you enough not to leave you alone but not enough to marry you. God, you sounded crazy, but that was what you became, a superficial celebrity whose whole life was calculated enough so people thought it was perfect.

You felt like shit when you had to say no to Ian, but you had no other option. Everything was so fake it made you want to throw up, and on top of that, he was the asshole who didn’t even bother to invite your family to, what was supposed to be, your engagement party. If you were to say yes, where was your mom to hug you? Or to tell you that you were being mental for marrying someone you didn’t love? That was the moment when you knew you were about to lose it, that’s when you knew that if you stayed there you would’ve lost your mind, and you were so close to doing it, the only thing that finally woke you up was a marriage proposal.

You turned right, immediately recognizing you were close to home. You had to start doing things right, but where do you begin?

Four years ago

When you arrived home, the realization that almost every person in your life had found someone except you hit you. It started when your best friend, Emma, finally got a girlfriend last summer, then it followed with your brother spending the holidays with his new girlfriend, and now, to your complete surprise, you had to find out that even your mother was seeing someone for the first time in years.

Yes, at first you thought it was going be to weird to see your mother leaving you every afternoon to have dinner with her new boyfriend, -whom she refused to present to you just yet-, but after the first week of cooking for yourself to sit in the kitchen island and eating while watching a random youtube video, you realized it was not weird, but it was making you feel extremely lonely. Love seemed to be everywhere around you, but not for you.

That afternoon you helped her do the groceries, but she had already warned you that, once again, you were going to have to cook for yourself since she was not going to be around tonight.

All your friends from home were still away and they weren’t coming back for another two weeks, so you were almost completely alone in your hometown. And without you wanting it, only one particular name swirled in your mind, wondering if he was as lonely as you were, which he probably was, but you didn’t want any part of it. You were still trying not to look around too much in the grocery line hoping to see a familiar face, forcing yourself not to look up when you knew you were passing his street. You promised that you weren’t going to wait to see him again, as if that way you could prove something to yourself.

You expected Yoongi to disappear only to see him again the day before Christmas, you were sure he wasn’t going to appear at your doorstep like that morning, it wasn’t going to happen, you convinced yourself of it. Because of that, on the way home when you were riding in your mom’s car as you came back from the store, you thought that maybe you were just hallucinating when you saw him waiting in your driveway.

Your mom got down from the car first, you watched her giving him a hug and then observed them talking, you were sure he was going to offer to help with the bags and you were sure your mom was going to smile and accept his help. Your mom loved Yoongi, and Yoongi loved your mom, you could see it. When Yoongi was a kid and his mother had to spend long days at the hospital your mom always opened the doors of your house so he wouldn’t be alone. Like you, Yoongi grew up without a dad, so his mom was lucky to have your mom to look out for him when she wasn’t around.

You mustered courage and got down, surrounding the car to get to the trunk where the bags were and finding him with his arms already busy.

“Hi, Pinky.” He let out and in the cold you could see his breath. His nose was red and his eyes crystallized from the weather.

You barely got to open your mouth to greet him before your mom spoke. “Yoongi was looking for you.” She told you as she headed to the porch.

“Really?” You wanted to know, just in case your mom was lying, for some reason.

“Yeah, really.” He answered, watching you grab the last two bags and closing the trunk of the car. “Do you have any plans tonight?”

Your heels suddenly dug into the ground, making you stop dead to check if you heard that right. Yoongi didn’t notice, he started to walk backwards, heading towards the door as he looked at you and invited you to follow him. You took the first step, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react. Did you have any plans tonight? For a second your mind went blank, completely forgetting you had a date with Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn at nine pm.

You avoid his gaze, trying to come up with an answer. “Do you have any friends?” You asked. Classic you, insulting him in case he noticed your face was two seconds away from burning red. You heard your mom grunt as she entered through the door, but Yoongi just laughed.

“Do you?” He attacked back, smirking “Going to the store with your mom on a friday night, I thought you were popular in high school.”

“I was not, you must have confused me with my brother, we have the same nose.” You scoffed, walking with him to your house “And I do have friends, they’re just not around.”

“So you don’t have plans.” Yoongi confirmed for himself, letting you enter through the door first.

“No, not really.” You admitted, leading him to the kitchen to leave the bags on the counter. “Why? Did you want to take me out?”

The question was intended to come out as a joke, but it burned on your tongue. You often tortured yourself with those kinds of comments, but his answer was worse than any kind of cruel joke you could’ve made to yourself.

“Yes.” He said, leaving his bags next to yours. “That’s what I was thinking before you made fun of me for not having friends.”

You stayed quiet, pretending to look for something in the bags, pretending you were screaming in your mind. Why on earth was he here? Why was he torturing you this way? You were enough of a mess, the last thing you needed was this, bringing you more torment than you already had.

You sighed, quickly coming up with another answer “Sorry I can’t retract myself.” You said. “But what were you thinking that was so important for you to come to my house instead of texting?”

“I was afraid that if I texted you would’ve said no.” He admitted.

You arched an eyebrow “Why?” You questioned.

“Because… I saw that the theater is doing a Christmas special, and they’re showing Home Alone tonight.”

“Which theater?” You asked, but you were fully aware which one was.

“You know, the one near the park with the weird fountains.” He said, confirming what you were thinking.

You wondered what to say next. There you had Yoongi, inviting you to watch a movie with him, ‒your favorite movie to be more specific‒ but at the place you used to secretly go to theater classes when you were thirteen until you finished highschool. You knew the place had those kinds of events where they showed old movies following a theme, as Christmas approached they never failed to show Home Alone as many times as they could.

Would it be so bad for him to find out that you used to be obsessed, maybe still were, with musicals? You never told him about that, let alone about the classes, that was something you used to keep to yourself and no one else, so going out with him meant to out yourself to him. It was inevitable for people to recognize you there, you knew a lot of your friends from back then were still very attached to the place, unlike you, who decided to leave everything behind once you left for college to be someone you didn’t want to be.

“I don’t know, I allow myself to watch Home Alone only once a year.” You tried to excuse yourself.

“I know that, that’s why I came here instead of texting” He said, “But I’ve come up with a solution, I tell you this, we can go and watch Home Alone tonight, and on Christmas we watch Home Alone 2.” He offered, but you felt offended he even dared to mention Home Alone 2.

“I don’t like Home Alone 2.” You reminded him. “I think it’s un-”

“Unrealistic that they lose Kevin twice, yeah, yeah, I know!” He interrupted you, stealing the words from your mouth. “But I like Home Alone 2, I think it’s still a good Christmas movie.” You stared at him with narrowed eyes, pretending to think about it, as if your heart was strong enough to even try to say no to him, even if that meant you had to go back to the place where you used to be a completely different person from who you were in school, and most importantly, even if that meant you would have to watch Home Alone 2. It was painful to admit that you already knew your answer when you saw him in your driveway. “Don’t be boring, Pinky. I’ve already got tickets.”

Just for a moment, while the dim lights of your kitchen lighted up his eyes as they begged you to go with him, you wished you had plans that evening already. You took a second to imagine a scenario where you told him that you weren’t free that night, that someone was going to pick you up later. You tried to imagine his face when you told him that you were in fact going out on a date with some other dude and pictured him heartbroken because you rejected him. But of course that wasn’t the case, your friends from college used to joke around and say that men ran away from you and only the brave ones were capable of asking you out, there was no way you were going out with someone who knew you in high school. And even if that were true, you lived in a reality where Yoongi wouldn’t flinch if you told him you were going out with someone else, a reality where you could never reject him. There was a part of you who enjoyed the pain of coming back to him, of being around him and living with the knowledge that at some point you'll have to get over him.

“Fine.” You finally gave in “I guess I could watch Home Alone 2 on Christmas”

He smiled victoriously, raising his fists in the air like he won some trophy.

You didn’t know what was worse, whether to have him around or not see him at all, you knew that the safest option was not seeing him, but your poor heart didn’t seem to understand that it was for the best.

Present

When you parked your car, you realized you didn’t have the keys to your house anymore. You were sure they were somewhere in your apartment back in the city, but even if you had remembered to look for them, you wouldn’t have found them, you had no idea where they were. It has been a long time since you thought about putting foot in your home, your real home, not the one back in the city, with countless empty rooms you had never used. They keys to your home, where were they? You bitterly laughed as you walked towards the porch, with your bags in your hands and your heart on your sleeve, that was how disconnected to the place where you grew up in you were.

The little pumpkins your mom put on the porch reminded you that the last time you were home was also october. The play you were in last fall was just about to end and you visited home for a weekend just to ask your mom to go and see you for your final performance. You remembered how angry you felt when she told you she and Phil, her boyfriend, had already planned a trip to Scotland for that same weekend. It took you a whole year ‒or even more‒ to realize that while you were busy living your life, your family was doing the same thing, you disappeared for months and they had no other choice but to keep going without you.

You stood in front of the big wood door for a few seconds, feeling like some prodigal daughter, until you decided to finally ring the bell.

As soon as your mom opened the door and you caught the surprised look on her face, you knew you weren’t supposed to be there, at least not yet.

“Darling! What…?” She breathed out as if she had seen a ghost, but to be fair you weren't far from looking like one, you didn’t remember the last time you had a proper sleep. “What are you doing here?”

You shrugged, not knowing if she was joking “I called you on the phone last month, don’t you remember?” You asked. The surprise on your mom’s face morphed into a confusion, and for some reason it made your chest hurt a little.

“You told me you were coming Friday the 5th.” She said, but she didn’t move from the door, as if you were about to turn around, leave and come back for the date she thought you were coming.

“That’s… today.” You reminded her.

She frowned, raising her left arm to check the apple watch on her wrist, the one you gave her as a present for mother’s day a few months ago, immediately realizing that you were right. “God, where’s my mind?” She exclaimed, cleaning her hands on the apron she was wearing to grab one of your bags from your hand, finally leaning back to let you in. “Sorry darling, I don’t know what I was thinking when you called me.”

“It’s okay.” You said, more to yourself than to her, closing the door behind you “These days my mind is nowhere near, either.”

“No, it’s not okay. I can’t believe it flew over my head like that.” She kept complaining, taking off your coat for you to hang it on the coat rack “Do you have any more bags?”

You nodded “In the car.”

“Okay, let’s go grab them later.” She said, turning around to head towards the kitchen with a quick pace. “Follow me darling, I’m about to finish cooking, you arrived just in time for lunch.”

Well, your mom always seemed to be in a hurry, she was like every other mom after all, but today she looked more rushed than usual, making you wonder if your arrival was that unexpected, did you suddenly ruin her Friday just by appearing at her doorstep? The answer wasn’t clear to you, when she turned around you lost the chance to say that she shouldn’t worry since you were planning to spend the whole weekend in your room.. Now you were just trying not to look disappointed when she didn’t give you a hug as she disappeared into the kitchen.

You followed her, taking off your converse and throwing them somewhere in the hall. Your mom had enough energy for you both, it was like she forgot that you had been driving all morning to get there, maybe she thought you arrived on a jet, you didn’t know. You thought your tired face was sign enough that all you needed was a hot shower and a long nap.

“What am I gonna do?” She murmured to herself, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you were there earlier. “Your room isn’t ready yet!”

You scowled, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. “What do you mean my room isn’t ready?”

“We’ve been using it as a storage room lately, until Phil adjusts himself.” She told you, but you didn’t understand a word she said. Storage room? Why was your mom’s boyfriend using your bedroom as a storage room?

“Mom, what are you talking about?”

“I’m sure I told you!”

You shook your head “Tell me what?”

She tilted her head with her mouth hanging open. You visibly saw her trying to remember something, filling the room with silence. Then, it hit her, her silence suddenly broke into laughter, she realized that, whatever was she was talking about, she didn’t tell you, you just didn’t know what. “Darling, Phil moved in september, how come we didn’t talk about this?” She let out, wondering out loud. “We are still getting the hang of it, he still has a lot of boxes, we decided to put it in your room for now.” She explained, like it was nothing, but you knew it wasn’t. It took her a long time before she introduced you to Phil, she always made it clear to him that her priority was her kids, so it was a big step for her to let Phil move in.

You shook your head, immediately avoiding her gaze when you felt a sudden rush of guilt washing over your body when you tried to remember when was the last time you spoke with your mom on the phone apart from last month, when you told her you were coming today.

“Oh, mom, I had no idea.” You said as if you were apologizing, you kinda were. “I’m gonna start looking for somewhere else to crash, I still don’t know for how long I’m staying.”

She waved her hands, rushing to interrupt you “My God, sweetie, no! You know you can stay here for as long as you want, this is your house!” She said, but you struggled to believe her “But I really thought you were coming next Friday! When was your last show?”

God, the last thing you wanted to think about now was work.

“Just last week.” You replied, hoping that she wouldn't want to comment too much about it.

“How was it?” She continued to ask, going against your wishes.

Terrible, you wanted to say, you couldn’t wait to get off the stage. You did your job and you left, all your partners begged you to stay for the after party but you were exhausted, you left as soon as you could. That was supposed to be an important moment for you, the wrap up of your first main role, a clear achievement of your short career. After you did the first show of the season you went to bed wishing it could last forever, but last week you were just relieved that it finally ended.

You wouldn’t tell that to your mom, you didn’t want to worry her, so you just told her a little white lie.

“Oh, it was great.” You smiled, hoping that in that way it would be more believable. “I had a great time, but I needed to come back home for a while.”

“Well, you worked hard, now you deserve to rest” She said “And besides that… how have you been, huh?” She asked with a soft voice, making you raise your gaze to find her warm eyes and a warm smile. You failed to remember that you couldn’t lie to your mom, she always saw through you, and to be honest she would be a fool not to notice the tired look on your face. It bothered you just a bit that the main reason why she was asking about it was because of the breakup.

“Why, because of Ian?” You asked.

“No just because of him, just… how have you been about everything?”

“Well, fine, I think so.” You kept lying “Me and him… I don’t know, I don’t think I felt the same way about him anymore, I had to end it, I’m sure he deserves someone who feels the same, right?”

She hummed, not really convinced. “You deserve someone like that, too, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” You sighed “But that topic gives me headaches.”

Your mother snorted, “Well, don’t expect me to be satisfied with that answer, after you take a nap I’m gonna ask you all about that.”

“How nosy.” You chuckled. “You just want to talk shit about your ex son in law.”

“Of course, don’t act like you don’t want to do that too, I know you too well.” You rolled your eyes, but of course she was right. “Anyway, since I thought you were coming next week I planned a dinner for tonight with everyone, they’ll be so happy to see you, but you know, I understand if you want to skip it with everything that’s happening, I’m sure no one will ask about it, but still. You came here to be alone so I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed around a lot of people.”

“Ask about what? The news isn’t out yet” You asked, confused.

Your mom turned around again, looking as confused as you. “Haven’t you checked your phone today?” She asked cautiously.

“No, it died a few hours ago. I haven't had the chance to charge it in the car.” Your words made her confused expression fade into a concerned one.

“Darling, you might want to check it now.” She pointed to the charger that was connected next to the fridge. The look on her face could only mean that something wasn’t okay.

You slowly got off the stool, heading towards the other side of the room as you took your phone from your pocket to connect it to the charger. You knew it was just a matter of time until people found out that you and Ian broke up, but you thought the news would’ve be handled the same way as always, a statement from both you, the only reason why you didn’t do it yet was because you and Ian weren’t talking since the proposal happened.

When your phone finally turned on, a rush of anxiety ran down your body when a thousand notifications began to appear on the screen, including fifty missed calls from both your manager and publicist, you had a feeling that maybe the situation was worse than you thought. “What the fuck happened?” You murmured to yourself, looking at your mother in search of answers. “Did Sally call you?” You asked her, fully knowing that Sally, your manager, had strict orders not to bother anyone in your family with calls about anything related to work.

The room suddenly fell in silence, your mom hesitated to answer, you knew she didn’t want to be the one to give you bad news.

“No, but a friend of mine sent me an article.” She explained, her voice suddenly sounding small. “I didn’t read it, you know, I didn’t even open it, I don’t like gossip.”

Your mind tried to put two and two together; missed calls from your manager, an article about you, gossip, that didn’t sound fucking right.

“Fuck, I have to call her.” You gritted your teeth, wasting no time marking her number. You felt your head swirling just by imagining the sound of her voice yelling at you for not answering her calls.

Less than five seconds later, like she was waiting by the phone, she picked up. “Fucking finally.” Was the first thing you heard, “Where the fuck were you?”

The irritated tone on her voice took you by surprise, making you jump in you place “Driving, for four fucking hours.” You rushed to say “My phone was dead, what is going on?”

You heard her inhale, trying to keep her calm “Every single person in the world is trying to reach me right now except you. It’s a mess.”

“What?” You try not to yell “I just got home, I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Honey, it got leaked, has no one told you yet?”

Then, a beat of silence. The stress on her voice is enough to make you believe her, you didn’t have to think twice. Of course something like this was going to happen to you, you couldn’t run away from the city and pretend everything behind was going to stay as it was, your life from six hours ago was still there, and it was still a fucking mess.

“What part?” Was the only thing you could say. You felt yourself entering a cloud of uncertainty, your fist clenched on your lap and while you listened to her sighing, preparing you for the answer, you held your breath as if that way you could stop time.

“Everything.” She spat. “Listen, I didn’t want to freak you out with this, I tried to keep this situation on the low but it happened anyway. The story’s out, pictures are out, every fucking thing is out.”

You suddenly tense, feeling your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach

“What? What do you-?” You stuttered.

“I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about the proposal but it's the main headline, sweetie.”

Sally is not someone who’s known for sugarcoating her words, she was straightforward and didn’t mind being the person who delivers bad news, but today you could tell she was especially stressed, you were sure she was trying to handle this issue alone with you being gone for hours.

“Fuck.” You hissed “What about him, have you called his manager?”

“Of course I called his manager, but all of a sudden that prick doesn’t want to collaborate with me on this, apparently Ian doesn’t fucking care, how about that?”

“How come he doesn’t care?” You asked exasperatedly.

“That’s the idea that I got when his manager told me to manage this issue myself.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath as you took a moment to think about it. You knew Ian well enough, but you always held onto a kind version of him, the version of him who made you stay for so long, the version of him you chose to remember so your memories weren't all bad, but that version made you felt guilty for the question that was rotting on your mouth, waiting to be spat.

“Do you think it was him?” You asked her, but her bitter laugh on the other line made you realize it wasn’t a difficult question to answer.

“I mean, would that be so crazy?” She said “You and I are pretty sure who called the people to take those pictures. He's not happy, honey, to him this is just payback for what you did.”

That word echoed in your mind for longer than you would’ve wanted to, was that the way he decided to put this to an end? Payback?

Four weeks ago, you thought that was it. When you were at the backyard of the house of Ian’s grandparents and you saw him on his knees, asking you to marry him, you thought that was the moment when every bad decision you ever made caught up to you, when everything exploded in your face. Now you realized it didn’t end there, everything you’ve done still has consequences.

You closed your eyes, trying to ignore your mom’s eyes in the back of your neck. You left the room, coming back to the hall so you could be alone. You couldn’t just hang the phone and pretend none of that happened, as tempting as it sounded, you had to take care of it. “Okay, now what? Can you clean it?”

“I’ve been trying, but it can’t disappear, you know? It’s been up for a few hours.” She replied.

You nodded, as if she could see you “Okay, listen, it doesn’t matter. I can’t deal with this right now, I don’t care where it came from, I don’t care how the pictures look, what people are saying, I don’t want to know any of it. If people saw it, I don’t give a fuck, it’s me who doesn’t want to see it.” You firmly said “If the story’s out, fine, but I don’t want any major media posting the pictures, can you do that?”

You heard her humming “Mmm, are you sure you want to handle it in that way? No statement to the media? No post on instagram? Just radio silence?”

The thought of making a statement about your relationship in public made you want to throw up, “Are you kidding?” You laughed “There’s no way I’m making a statement about this if you can’t even get Ian’s manager on the phone for him to do the same. If I say anything about this and he stays quiet I’m going to look worse of a villain than I already am for rejecting him.”

“Honey, I don’t think you understand this.” She stopped you, “This isn’t just news that you broke up, this is news that he proposed to his girlfriend of three years and she said fucking no, a.k.a a scandal.”

You rolled your eyes, wanting to curse her for treating you like a five year old child. “No, hear me out, I’m not playing his game anymore.”

“You’re not the one who’s playing his game, he’s the one playing in yours.” She emphasized, “Let me be clear with this, and I’m trying to be nice even though I’ve been working all morning to get this to disappear just for you. You were the one who decided that the relationship was going to have this kind of publicity, you can’t back down now. This could harm your image, you need to make a statement whether he does the same or not.”

You stopped for a second, hating how right she was. Every bit of your relationship with Ian was out to the public, that was the whole point of it from the beginning. Your image as an actress wasn’t entirely constructed by your work, you took charge into making every piece of your private life part of it too, you sold it of your life to the public. After so many years of sharing everything with the media and fans, you knew it would be strange to stay in silence now, but in a matter of seconds the words piled up in your mind, making you see how ridiculously soulless a statement like that would look, lying about how much love and respect you held for Ian but at the end it didn’t work out, that you decided to stay as friends since you still loved each other so much, when the truth was that he was the one who leaked the pictures in the first place.

You were once again reminded to face the consequences, and that was what you were about to do.

“Sorry, Sally, but I'm not making a statement.” You let out, nervously tapping your foot against the floor “I started it, you’re right, but now I’ve decided to end this here. This is my private life we’re talking about, let me keep this thing to myself. The only thing that they need to know is that we’re no longer together, and from now on the only information they’ll get of me is about my work, are we clear?”

Your whole body shook in anticipation, expecting her to yell at you and tell you to do whatever she said, because you knew she knew better. You hoped she somehow didn’t see through your mask, you weren’t as hard as you wanted to sound, you weren’t as confident as you wanted to be. For years working with her you trusted her advice against all odds, and you knew she always meant well, she was just doing her job, but at this exact moment in your life you needed to stay silent.

She hesitated to answer, battling with herself and the love she had for you. “Look kid,” She said “I’m going to let you do what you want, but if this doesn’t end well I’m going to look for you in whatever farm you’re staying in right now and I’m going to strangle you, now are we clear?” She asked, repeating your last words.

It took you a second to understand what she just said, you felt so anxious you didn’t understand if she was giving you a green light or not. When you snapped out of it, you realized it was the closest you’ve felt to be relieved.

“We are clear.” You confirmed.

“I sure hope so.” You heard her sighing once again “I’ll make it disappear and you make sure to keep your phone close in case something happens. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s fine.” She brushed it off “At least you’re not dead, I would’ve felt guilty for cursing you so much.”

“God, maybe the news of my death would make the news about the proposal disappear.” You tried to joke, fighting against the horrible feeling you still had on your stomach.

“Okay, kid. I’m hanging up before you get more morbid. Take care, okay?”

You chuckled quietly, “Thank you, Sally” You said before she hung up “Really, I appreciate it.”

The call ended, leaving your ears ringing and your heart hammering against your chest. You stayed in the hall, sitting on the first steps of the stairs and trying to make sense of what just happened.

You were aware that Ian was angry at you, you couldn’t tell if you broke his heart but you knew that you hurt his ego, and somehow that was worse. You had to admit that your ego was as big as his, so you understood he had to do the same thing to you. Sally was right, you led yourself to this, you managed the circus that was your public life and you were the one who chose him to cover up how miserable you felt. You still felt your blood boiling just by thinking how cruel it was what he did, and at the same time you couldn’t allow yourself to be angry at him because you thought you had it coming.

You thought you were so stupid for thinking that once you got here you were going to be okay, as if you could run away from yourself, as this house was a bunker, protecting you from everything you ever did. Suddenly, you felt all your emotions stacking up your throat, you felt your eyes burning before your whole face was soaked with hot tears of regret, you didn’t even remember when was the last time you cried, that’s how fucked up you were.

You covered your face, sobbing against your palms as you tried to calm yourself, remembering your mom was waiting for you in the kitchen and you had to come back to be a functioning person, but before you could, you heard her steps approaching you, gasping when she found you crying.

“Darling, what happened?” She asked, the concern in her voice made your heart hurt.

You quickly wiped your tears with the sleeves of your sweater as you watched her kneel beside you. “Nothing, just…” You tried to lie, but what was the use of that? She would know, and you were still going to continue carrying the pain on your chest for the rest of the day. You shook your head, feeling her thumbs wiping your tears from your face.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” She whispered, like it was a secret between the two of you. “It’s about the article, right?” You nodded.

“It’s…” You inhaled, trying to catch your breath. “It’s about more than that.”

And then, the truth. As if you were a criminal caught in the scene of the crime, you had to tell the truth.

After you spent the whole afternoon trying to explain to your mom what was going on with your life, nothing could erase the worried look on her face, looking at you like you were thirteen and you had the flu, wanting to take care of you until it went away.

You felt ashamed, but you couldn’t keep lying to her, not completely at least. You had to tell her that you were never really in love but you felt so alone back in the city, you didn’t have anyone else. Most of your friends were fake, you were tired and sometimes overworked, not even your job was making up for the miserable life you were living anymore. You knew Ian was seeing other women and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to confront him about it, terrified that he’ll leave you in your big apartment alone. Your mom listened with a frown on her face, confused, asking why you never told her, asking why you never called, and you felt so embarrassed, so guilty for disappearing for so long.

“I’m sorry” was the only thing you could say, and even though she waved it off and said that you didn’t have to apologize for anything, you knew that wasn’t real. You had a bunch of this to apologize for, you didn’t even know where to begin.

After a shower, she offered her room for you to take a nap, and as you got into her bed, she sat next to you, hugging you for the first time in months.

You breathed out against her chest, feeling like a kid again around her arms. It was like she was trying to extract the sadness out of your body, and maybe it worked for now.

“You’re still invited to join us for dinner tonight, you know?” She murmured “I know you’re sad but it’s just us, maybe it’ll cheer you up.”

You nodded, “I’ll think about it, is that okay?”

“Of course, darling.” She smiled, kissing your forehead before getting up to leave.

Before she opened the door, you stopped her.

“Wait mom, who’s coming?” You asked before she disappeared from your sight.

She turned to you again, smiling. “Your brother, of course.” She said “He’s bringing Yoongi and his mom, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

You snapped your eyes open, but before your mom could see your reaction she disappeared through the door, leaving you alone and with your heart clenched in your fist.

@kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopefulchick @heroinanne

#bts fic recs #yoongi x reader #reader: female #au: lawyer #au: brother's best friend #vibe: fluffy #vibe: angst

557 notes · View notes

kingofbodyrolls · 3 months ago

Text

Jungkook fic recs 2024 🥳

In honor of Jungkook’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Jungkook stories, that I’ve read this past year (2023-2024) 💜 I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹🥳

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’, last years Jungkook recs or last years recs 🙂

[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.

⭐When the End Comes (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [77.9k] // jjk x f.reader // breakup!au, slice of life!au, photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!reader // 🌩️🌩️🌩️🥵

📝 seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

🗨️ this is a sequel to ‘The Forgotten Spaces’, which was just *chef’s kiss* 😘 The series is completed now – and afsfdfdsfg it was just so damn beautiful and the ending!!! It was definitely worth all my tears 🥹💜

⭐Stretch You Out @chateautae [24k] // jjk x knj x f.reader // college!au, s2f2l, gym employee!namjoon, gym employee!jungkook // 🥵🥰

📝 you have a plan for your crappy, diabolical ex who’s set on ruining your life; making him jealous by snagging a raunchy photo with two hot employees at the gym. what you didn’t have a plan for? befriending the mischievous pair to aid in your revenge and ending up underneath not just one, but both of them.

🗨️ holy fucking shit 🥵 🫣 this was so exceptionally good! So deliciously filthy, it really delivered on every freaking aspect 💯 incredible 👏🏾 perfection 👏🏾💎

⭐The Wedding Planners @gukyi [28K] // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 😂🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding.

🗨️ what I love about this is one, is definitely the slow-burn and the enemies to lovers aspect too. The banter between reader and Jungkook is just so priceless and reading how their relationship slowly unfolds and develops through the months of the wedding planning was just everything 💯 Hoseok and Yoongi’s personality in this also makes this fic truly amazing.

⭐Fragment of the Past (1)(2)(3) (series; completed) @ctrlsht [28.1K] // jjk x f.reader // patient!jk x psychiatrist!reader // 🌩️😈👻🥵

📝 you are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

🗨️ another first for me, with the thriller vibes and damn it delivers on that! It’s really, really good 👏 Pacing is really good and how we see more and more of Jungkook’s disturbing traits is just brilliant ✨

⭐Brother’s best friend @lavishedinjimin [5.3K] // jjk x f.reader // brothers best friend!au // 🥵

📝 in which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you.

🗨️ at first I was like ‘this is very cute’ and then it turned so dirty so fucking fast I almost got whiplash 😂✨

⭐To Give a Helping Hand: pt1 + pt2 (series; ongoing) @oddinary4bts [1.8k] // jjk x f.reader // idol!au // 🥵

📝 when Jungkook comes home from the gym, he goes feral thinking about you.

🗨️ I don’t know where to begin… everything Ella writes is pure gold, why would this short one be any different? 🥵 I fucking loved it; it was hot and Jungkook was so needy! And you know what? I think she’s working on part two!!!!! ✨🥵 (seriously, can’t recommend this enough!!!)

⭐When Worlds Collide (series; ongoing) @letjungcoook7 [currently loading…] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, slice of life!au, s2l, fuckboy!jk, virgin!reader // 🥵🌩️

📝 since your mother's passing a year ago, life has been a whirlwind. balancing your passion for ballet with a low-key presence at college, where you’re the top student, was your norm until Jungkook stepped into your world. known for his reputation preceding him, jungkook is the talk of the campus with his casual rendezvous that have the girls buzzing. despite his allure, you're puzzled by his need for your tutoring prowess, especially given his own academic merit. yet, succumbing to his persistent requests, you reluctantly agree, only to find yourself thrust into the spotlight you've always avoided.

🗨️ this story is so good! It’s still being updated and there’s so much drama in it that is slowly being unraveled! 💜

⭐Liquor Lips @letjungcoook7 [1.5k] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵

📝 left intentionally blank by the author.

🗨️ it was incredible good, like I want to read more (it’s not a series though!). It’s the perfect dirty little one-shot/drabble ❤️‍🔥

⭐Chasing Cars (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [218.5k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

🗨️ the series has just ended and it is seriously so fucking good ✨ But you should pack some tissues, a hot cup of tea or coffee, because you’ll want to read through everything because of the cliffhangers and drama - also remember to read the drabbles for JK's pov too 💖

⭐Bottle Up Old Love @wintaerbaer [4.6k] // jjk x f.reader // exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.

🗨️ I really love how protective Jungkook is in this one, and damn the smut 🥵 It’s so fucking good!!!

⭐Hold Me Close + Hold Me Closer @ahundredtimesover [22.6k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.

🗨️ omg this was so fucking amazing 😭✨ The characters are amazing in this, there’s cute backstory, details and the sibling bond is top tier, and the chemistry between oc and Jungkook is so fucking good! The tension is perfect and I love the slow burn 🥰 I feel this was also a bit on the existential side, which I really love. Like the dialogue had me thinking about my own life! I love when that happens! And it was so fun reading about siblings, and I’m missing my own baby sister right now. Anyway, it was exceptionally good! Amazing! 💯 And there’s a mention of Jungkook’s glazed potato incident you can’t miss! It was so fun (both this and the run episode 😂). Can’t recommend this one enough!!

⭐Jump Then Fall (Into You): pt1 + pt2 + pt3 (one-shot; completed) @writtenwhalien [52k] // jjk x f.reader // bf2l, cruise!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🥰🥵

📝 bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

🗨️ I seriously can’t recommend this one enough! I love longer stories because it gives a chance for the characters to develop better! And this does that perfectly; even the minor/background/supporting characters have such a deep and rich story it’s just brilliant!! 💎 And the relationship between oc and Jungkook? 🌶️ Delicious tension, having to pretend to be a couple, when you’re practically already a couple, but haven realized it yet? 🤭 It is just perfect!!!

⭐Ultimatum @parkmuse [10.3k] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵😂

📝 your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

🗨️ omfg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t know where to start with this one, first off, if you haven’t read it before, please go read it, because it is fucking hilarious, even in the smut scenes 😂 Which, fyi, they were really good, smutty and funny! Okay. There was one scene in there right, I laughed way too hard at!!!! Really good and amazing! 👏💯

⭐Will it Fit? @jeonsweetpea [6.7k] // jjk x f.reader // roommates!au, i2l // 🥵🌩️🥰😂

📝 so what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…

🗨️ the banner alone had me giggling way too much! Like his face, and with the title— it’s just fucking hilarious 🤣 And the story did not disappoint one bit, fuck, everything was so good and amazing! Their banter, tension and humor was just perfectly on point ✨ This was just incredibly perfect 💯

⭐Dumbo @cinnaminsvga [17.2k] // jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥵😂😂

📝 you know what they say about boys with big noses… {or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}

🗨️ this was just so fucking hilarious I don’t even know where to begin 😂 I don’t know how many times the word ‘dick’ or its many different variations is used in this fic, but damn it a lot, and damn is it fun! 🤣 There’s so many dick jokes it should be criminal! It was so good though, the story was just too funny, almost absurd (lol), but dammit it’s a new favorite! 💯

⭐Fool for You (series; completed) @btsgotjams27 [24.9k] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, fake dating, s2f2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.

🗨️ This is a short series and it’s really good— it’s cute, has angst and a happy ending ✨

⭐Make it Right @jungkxook [11.5k] // jjk x f.reader // band!au, exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️

📝 you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too.

🗨️ gaaaaahhh, I’m crying 😭 This was so beautiful, bittersweet 😭 I loved it so much and their love, omg, so pure, so precious. His song for her, I’m just like 😭 (can you tell I’m a sobbing mess?) Definitely a new favorites and I loved the fact that, they both knew they were broken, waiting for each other, and even though broken, they will heal and take it slow 😭💯

⭐Coffee Stain @oddinary4bts [1.9k] // jjk x f.reader // grief!au // 🌩️🌩️🌩️

📝 you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.

🗨️ do you want to cry, but not able too? Go and read this! It’s so fucking sad, but so incredible beautiful and sweet, it will make you tear up in now time. As said before, Ella just have a way with words, and in this one, they sure do hurt a lot 😭 But I fucking love it ✨

⭐Bite Me, Jeon @sailoryooons [19.3k] // jjk x f.reader // f2l, vampire!au, college!au // 🥵🌩️👻🪄

📝 somehow you convince Jeon Jungkook to look into theories of vampirism for a research paper. What Jungkook doesn’t expect, is for vampirism to become a very real and very personal problem for him.

🗨️ this one is insanely good! It’s so amazing! This one reminds me of Ghostfacers from Supernatural, lol. It was so freaking funny. I was pleasantly surprised at the plot, and I loved it. If you haven’t read this one yet, and you love vampires, this one is definitely for you!!! 🥰

⭐Confided @cravetive [5k] // jjk x f.reader // neighbor!au // 🥵

📝 y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance.

🗨️ holy shit it was amazing and the smut….. Fuuuuck I’m not gonna lie here okay, I was dripping, I was feeling it so fucking bad and damn. It was hot. The plot was so silly and hot, like omg 🥵

This is my little corner with my own fics— I don’t write that much (I prefer to read), but it would mean a lot to me if you checked out my work or read it. You don’t have to, it’s up to you of course 🥰

⭐Say That Again (I Dare You) [13.1k] // jj x f.reader x pjm // est. relationship (jjk), threesome, slice of slice!au // 🥵

📝you moan in your sleep, and your boyfriend knows this, but when you keep moaning another man’s name in your sleep - and that man just happens to be one of your friends? What will Jungkook do?

🗨️ this is just pure smut, lol. I wrote it as a birthday gift to all you people 😂

⭐Say I Do [5.2k] // jj x f.reader // wedding!au // 🥵

📝you and Jungkook tease each other at your wedding reception.

🗨️ again, this is just pure smut, nothing else 😂

⭐Till We Meet Again [11.4k] // jj x f.reader // mermaid!au, fantasy!au, childhood f2l, nostalgia // 🥵🪄🥰😂

📝when your childhood friend that you had a crush on, moved away out of the blue— you never thought you’d see him again. A night swim in the ocean will have you feeling delusional, but the voice that fills your ears— sweet like cotton candy, you’d recognize that voice anywhere, it’s Jungkook.

🗨️ this is a favorite of mine, and it’s just really really cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of smut 🥰

And as a something little extra, here’s a few fics that I haven’t had the time to read yet, but damn I’m buzzing to get to read them:

Red Light (series; ongoing) @bunnybubae

Ember Burning @kpopfanfictrash

Seven Days (series; ongoing) @kithtaehyung

Dextrocardia (series; ongoing) @jeonstudios

All That Glitters (series; completed) @aquagustd

In This Paradise @ressjeon

Make You Mine @mercurygguk

Castaway @hamsterclaw

For Science (series; completed) @boymeetsweevil

Heart of the Storm @ladyartemesia

Happy birthday to our GOLDEN man Jeon Jungkook!!!! 🥳💜✨

877 notes · View notes

hobicakess · 11 months ago

Text

PLAYING DANGEROUS — (teaser)

summary: It's been almost three years since Jack in the box was caught, and no one could make him talk. No one knew his story, and what drove him to become the monster he was today. That is until you're assigned your first story. What makes you so lucky?

rating: 18+ (I'm not your mother you're in control of what you consume)

pairings: Journalist!Reader x Criminal!JungHoseok x CEO!Kim Namjoon x Detective!MinYoongi.

warnings: smut murder, blood and gore, Jack In The Box Hobi, corruption, workplace abuse, yandere characters, possessive/obsessive behavior, dubcon, short hair namjoon (yes that's a warning), black/plus sized coded reader, violence from every single aspect, police brutality, mircoagression towards woc, lawyer kim seokjin, maknae helping cause chaos, manipulation, drugs and addiction, unhinged serial killer hobi (joker vibes tbh) , yoongi hates his job, namjoon loves his job (he gets to piss you off everyday)

authors note: howdy hotties! this fic was heavily inspired by this post, i don't think it'll be 30 chapters but something about it just spoke to me and itched my writer brain. even though the mc is black coded anyone can read ofc!! I can't wait to write for this series. if you'd like a tag pls comment below. Reblogs are appreciated and check out my other works (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)

part one

There was a manic laughter that echoed through the new station. The giggles caused shivers and goosebumps to pass through everybody in the building simply because that laughter was familiar. The sounds were admitting from the little black box that sat on your desk. In horror you and your peers that happened to be close by watch the little black clown that popped from graffiti painted the box swing animatedly back and forth. Everyone in Korea knew this clown and what it meant.

“Mr.Kim is not seeing anyone right-” you push the secretary out your way causing her to stumble on her kitten heels and she watches you stomp your way into her bosses and yours office. The door opens wide slamming against the wall causing the booksvon the shelves to tremble, some even tumbling to the floor.

There he sat Kim Namjoon. He stared at you with his eyebrow raised. Some of the buttons of his black dress shirt were unbuttoned, the glass at his side was filled with brown liquid and even more books and papers laid out messily on his desk. .

With as much force as you could you throw the giggling box at him. The impact smacking him hard on the chest but with his build you were sure that it didn't do a thing. He held it in his hands flipping it over clicking an unknown button, shutting the gut wrenching sound shut off.

“ You told me if I took this story I'd be safe,*

Namjoon sighs as if you were speaking nonsense and not about life or death. “Let's be clear here you agreed to take this story when I only simply suggested it. Besides what makes you think Jack sent this?” He was right.

Maybe your coworkers thought I'd be funny to freak you out a little more since taking on the Clown killer case, still it was a sick joke that you didn't really find funny.

“Jack is locked in a maximum security prison surrounded by guards, and guns. He's not getting out anytime soon.”

The door swung open again and there stood his assistant. “Mr.Kim turned the news on!”

Grabbing the remote he clicks on the TV that was mounted on the wall of his office. The screen lights up showing a familiar smoking building. Your heart began to speed up in rhythm as you stare at the headline

Serial killer Jack In The Box escapes from Hangsang Maximum security prison

The screen flicks again to the dark red writings on the wall that used to be his cell.

‘See you soOn honey bunches 🃏’

And that was the last thing you saw before you tumble to the ground.

©hobicakesss , please don't repost or steal my work. don't be a loser

#bts x black reader #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #dee recs.#jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #dee reblogs.#hoseok x reader #rapline x reader #hyunglinexreader #bts fanfic #mafia bts #gangster bts #yandere yoongi #yandere bts

407 notes · View notes

kawaikisses · 1 year ago

Text

m.list ; Reading list.

Updated. Jan 22, 2024.

Note : I read k-pop idols x reader/ orginal female character fics, so this list is organized keeping that in mind, I do not personally have any issues with other genders, this is just my preference. Thankyou. If you hate unnecessarily, sincerely, no fucks will be given.

(everything is organized by alphabetical order)

↬𝐁𝐘 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄.

angst .

fluff .

smut .

↬𝐁𝐘 𝐀𝐔’𝐒.

artist au .

arranged marriage au .

assassin au .

baker au .

bartender au .

BDSM au .

best friend’s brother au .

best friends to lovers au .

best friend’s sister au .

boyfriend au .

camboy au .

camgirl au .

camp counselor au .

CEO au .

chef au .

childhood friends to lovers au .

club au .

college au .

coworker au .

crime au .

dad au .

doctor au .

dancer au .

detective au .

divorce au .

enemies to lovers au .

established relationship au .

exes to lovers au .

fantasy au .

farm au .

father au .

friends to benefits au .

friends to lovers au .

fuckboy au .

fuckgirl au .

forbidden au .

gamer au .

god au .

hitman au .

horror au .

husband au .

hybrid au .

idiots to lovers au .

idol au .

king au .

lawyer au .

mafia au .

magic au .

medical au .

musician au .

neighbours au .

noona au .

one night stand au .

photographer au .

pirates au .

professor au .

prince au .

rich au .

road trip au .

roommate au .

royalty au .

second chance au .

secret relationship au .

sex worker au .

single parent au .

social media au .

songwriter au .

soulmate au .

spy au .

superhero au .

supernatural au .

tattoo artist au .

teacher au .

unrequited love au .

vampire au .

werewolf au .

wife au .

↬𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒.

kim namjoon .

kim seokjin .

min yoongi .

jung hoseok .

park jimin .

kim taehyung .

jeon jungkook .

ot7 .

↬𝐁𝐘 𝐓��𝐏𝐄.

drama .

hurt/comfort .

magic .

mutual pining .

mystery .

romance .

slow burn .

thriller .

age play .

crack .

Note : please let me know if any of the links are not working. Thankyou.

Note : since Tumblr only allows 100 links per page, so this list will be continued in another page, which is linked down below.

↬masterlist continued .

302 notes · View notes

seokteoksworld · 1 year ago

Text

i love me a good yoongi fic. esp when it’s lawyer yoongi

Vigilant(e) - MYG

pairing: yoongi x femreader

genre: vigilante au, lawyer au, rivals to lovers

word count: 4.3k

rating: M

warnings: language (the f-word mostly), kissing (not quite smut but I feel like they would if they could), violence (not between our leads), a little blood mention, discussion of law and justice, rhapsodizing about the min yoongi,

a/n: i like to lay blame where it is due: so I blame @raplinesmoon for flooding my dash of yoongi in that final concert. I blame @jl-micasea-fics for the prompt that set this in motion. I blame @seokjinger-ale and @hannahbee12719 for telling me I should write yoongi again. i blame Greedy for the appearance of a diner because that's a top tier yoongi fic. i blame yoongi for looking like he does, performing like he does and just in general being what he is. and I blame myself for have no power to withstand any of the above. I have not written for this man in well over a year and if that means the following is a bit rusty, my apologies. also if there are any typos or mistakes, I'm sorry. i tried my best to find them.

a/n 2: i might have an idea for a part two.

prompt used

Person A: "Why did you save me?" Person B: "Honestly, if I had known it was you beforehand, I probably wouldn't have."

masterlist

Part 1 - Rebuttal

—-----

It’s not tunnel-vision (or maybe it is, you’re not sure you know the definition), but when you are in THAT mode, you see only what is necessary. Your brain predicts the possible outcomes and you follow the one with the least damage and best chances of saving the person in trouble.

You don’t really see faces.

Maybe your therapist would have something to analyze if she knew that, but you tend to keep the other part of your life secret from everyone, and that includes your therapist.

Your therapist is probably bored, honestly.

It’s a typical evening in your life. You’ve finished work hours, dealt with depositions, met with a few witnesses, and held your tongue when the District Attorney asks you to do something clearly under his job description, not yours. You don’t have court tomorrow, just more research, so you change into your coveralls, slip a medical-grade mask on, and your favorite blue beanie.

You have a police scanner in your car, but you opt just to carry it with you in your backpack. One earbud in and you just look like a very sketchy person out for a walk, listening to music or the latest podcast.

The police scanner isn’t the greatest of ways to get information. You usually encounter situations by pure happenstance and tonight is no different.

It’s raised voices.

It’s not the worst part of the city that you’re in, but it isn’t exactly the best either. The apartment complex in front of you needs work, but it’s also free of metal bars on first-level windows or barbed wire, so that’s a plus.

You pause when you hear. You take out the earbud and listen a bit longer. Sometimes yelling is just yelling. It doesn’t require an intervention of any kind. Early on in doing this thing that you do at night, you have definitely interrupted interactions that did not need your assistance.

Good thing the mask hides your embarrassment.

You discern mostly one voice, male, that is the loudest. There are other male voices…two more. One is a bit reedy, a little concerned. The other is the lowest register, scratchy, but calm.

“Fuck you!”

Which again, doesn’t mean you should intervene. But the sound you hear after that does.

A punch doesn’t sound like it does in the movies. You saw somewhere that sound effects people tend to use steak to make the sound of flesh being pummeled.

Seems like a waste of meat.

The real thing is muted, and if you weren’t a several-year pro at this, the sound wouldn’t raise alarm.

But there are two in rapid succession and that springs you into action.

It’s down the alley next to the apartment complex, basically the back entrance, you assume.

Three men. And it’s easy to see who is who. The yeller is the one throwing punches. The reedy-voiced one is trying to hold him back. The calm one is the one attempting to avoid the hits, but isn’t retaliating.

You don’t even ask, you just swoop in.

Removing the reedy one is easy. You tug him back with one grab of his arm. He stumbles out of the way.

Which does announce your arrival and stops the instigator from throwing another hit.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You don’t say anything. You don’t have a particularly overt feminine voice, but it does help the whole process if they don’t suspect that you are a female. Usually.

The yeller leaves the man he’s just been attacking and starts to swing at you. It’s easy again. Real fighting is not the beautiful choreography seen on screens. It’s slower, especially if there’s no training involved.

You’ve been trained, but your opponent definitely has not.

You dodge a few of the incoming swipes before landing a solid to his gut. This causes him to keel over, effectively inactive for several seconds. This gives you time to grab him right above his elbow, thumb pushing against that pressure point.

His scream is satisfying, but that’s not something you tell your therapist.

“Hey, hey,” you hear behind you. “Let him go. He’s….just let him go.”

The attacker is begging the same thing, but you listen to the voice behind you. You shove the attacker away, who is immediately helped up by his friend, and with some not-so-creative threats toward you, they hurry off.

“Well.”

You turn around, breathing a little heavily because a fight isn’t always your daily norm. Sometimes it’s just helping someone across the street. Or distracting a would-be assault-er. Sometimes your nights are just long walks with no action at all.

Your tunnel vision now focuses on who you just saved.

Your damsel in distress is several things:

Not a damsel (would have been impressive with such a low voice).

Not especially tall (taller than you, but no one would give this guy a basketball scholarship).

Has long hair (Longer than yours, but you keep yours really short for ease, and this whole night-time-save-people thing you do).

Is going to have a few marks in the morning from where his attacker was successful. (You only notice because it’s a really nice face you’re looking at).

Is Min Yoongi.

“I needed him to agree to come in so I could depose him for a case.” There’s a long sigh. “Not sure he’ll do it now.”

Defense attorney, Min Yoongi. The man on the other side of the courtroom. The one who remains calm in practically any situation. Who smirks when his team is getting the best of the State with his loopholes and questionable interpretations of the law.

Basically, the person your boss hates more than anyone else.

You don’t mean to, but you say his name.

The eyebrows raise. “You know me?”

Quickly you try and keep your voice low (not as low as his, nor as pretty…objectively). “Who doesn’t?”

You’ll give credit. He’s an excellent lawyer and though the media does like to write about him when he wins a case, or loses; he doesn’t seek it out. Not that you can see. While other defense attorneys are often caught out living it up with their ridiculous amounts of money from exorbitant fees, Min Yoongi seems pretty private.

You also know he does pro bono work because you might have researched him once. Or twice.

Once for your boss to find something to discredit him. Twice because you sometimes can’t help yourself finding out more of someone’s story.

Despite the fact that blood is trickling from his eyebrow (the attacker had on a few rings), Yoongi looks very nonplussed as he tucks his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

You pull your backpack off one shoulder to swing it around and open it. You have a veritable first aid kid in there; along with pepper spray, mace, and various other dissuaders.

You take out a clean tissue and reach for the wound before stilling when he doesn’t even flinch.

“Can I?”

Fuck, you forgot to keep your voice low.

He nods and you dab away the blood carefully.

“You’re Anon, right?”

Your nightly activities are sometimes reported and the press has given you a moniker - Anonymous, or Anon.

It’s better than anything you could have come up with.

“That was hardly a life-threatening altercation,” he continues as you draw away to find a bandage. “Why did you ‘save’ me?” He even uses the finger quotation marks.

It makes you bristle. You can’t help it.

As you apply the bandage over the eyebrow cut, you respond with some annoyance, “Honestly, if I had known it was you beforehand, I probably wouldn't have.”

He laughs. Outright and very loudly before covering his mouth. You back up, closing your bag and righting it on your shoulders again.

“Okay, then. Anon.” He meets your eyes and you look away. Most people you interact with like this don’t look too closely, but you know how smart this man is. You don’t need him to get a good look (thank goodness for crappy streetlights that barely work) at your eyes. “I guess you know me better than most.”

He touches the bandage gingerly before dropping his hand.

“Be careful,” you grumble before starting to retreat because retreat is very very necessary right now.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I probably won’t.”

You look back at him for that comment and he’s doing that smirk again. The one you’ve seen multiple times in the courtroom. That you’ve been on the receiving end of a few times when you’ve taken to questioning the defendant or witness.

“Thanks, though.”

You get the fuck out of there.

—

It’s months later. After winning one case and losing two others (you don’t mind losing cases if you believe that the defendant is innocent, or that the evidence doesn’t add up, but that doesn’t hold water with your boss; a perfect record should be attained always), you are making an appearance at a charity function because someone from the DA’s office should be there and everyone else has excuses before you can come up with one.

So here you are, listening to people with a lot more money than you talk about reforms needed for the city, how citizens should abide by the laws, and more money should be funneled into programs to clean up the streets.

“Or we could just fund programs that actually help those who need it.”

You didn’t see him come up next to you. His voice is quiet enough that the speaker at the podium wouldn’t notice. In fact no one around you seems to care that Min Yoongi has just approached you even though there can’t be anything you two have in common; opposites sides of the legal system obviously.

You just stare at him, a champagne flute in your hand that is only half full because you don’t like champagne but it’s the only thing at this event that seemed acceptable to drink without resorting to just chugging water. He doesn’t smile at you though the corner of his mouth is lifted slightly like he’s amused.

Again, it’s definitely an expression you’ve seen in the courtroom.

One of those losing cases was against Min Yoongi. One of the ones you were sure the defendant was telling the truth. But you can’t say that. Because admitting that failure was the correct judgement would be weakness.

Sometimes you wish you heard someone else’s voice in your head other than your boss’s.

“I don’t think I’m the person to tell that to,” you say, hopefully as softly. “I’m not in charge.”

He stands next to you, facing the stage, almost mirroring your posture; though he has a tumbler of whiskey instead of champagne.

“You’re exactly the person to tell it to,” he says, leaning a little closer so you can hear him clearly.

Min Yoongi is attractive. It’s an objective fact. You’re pretty sure that’s why the press enjoys writing about him because he looks good in his lawyer suits. The hair a little too long to be conventionally professional. The sharp jawline in contrast with round cheeks. The sharp sharp eyes that are so dark against his skin.

Does the journalists know that he smells good too?

That’s new information for you as you have never been this close to him. Minus that night you saved him but there was blood and sweat and general dirty alley scents to mar whatever cologne he prefers.

“I don’t follow,” you reply. “You know where I am in the hierarchy of this city and the DA’s office.”

The speaker at the podium has finished his talk and the hired band starts to play something that feels more jazzy than current. Yoongi turns slightly toward you and you can’t help but meet his gaze.

“I do. You do good work there,” he says as he tucks one hand in the pocket of his suit pants before taking a sip of his drink. “Subscribing to the letter of the law, upholding it and every governmental branch that it includes.”

Does he have to sound so mocking?

“If we don’t put faith in our laws, it’d be chaos.”

“I mean, true…” The beginning of the smirk shows up. “But sometimes, the law is a bit restricting, don’t you think?”

You can feel the flare of your nostrils. “Rules are. That’s the point. Justice needs parameters, and it’s our job to make sure justice is served…properly.”

He grins and it blinds you just a bit.

“Yeah? So, taking matters into your own hands…outside of the police, the courtroom, the local government…that would be wrong?”

Oh fuck. Abort. Abort.

“Of course.” You take a step back. “Nice to see you, Attorney Min, outside the courtroom, but I have to go.”

You turn and flee the scene as best you can in your sensible heels. You’ve been at this function for nearly two hours. That’s enough time to present a good face for the DA’s office. Time to go home and curl up on the couch to watch the most recent episode of the coziest anime.

You’re outside the ballroom, coat attained from coat check, and you’re filling in the information on your phone for an Uber when you feel a hand brush your elbow.

“Let me give you a ride home.”

You shake your head, not looking at him. “I’m good.”

He says your name in his lawyer voice; firm and assertive as though nothing can sway his opinion.

“No thank you.”

“Anon.”

Your head shoots up from staring at your phone before you can tell yourself to ignore it. He doesn’t look amused anymore. He looks lethal.

“If not a ride home, then something to eat.”

“We just…” your voice is shuddery and you hate yourself for it. “There was food in there.” You point to the ballroom.

He snorts. “I mean real food. The diner two blocks over? You know it?”

Of course, you do. It’s your favorite.

But you just nod and he gestures for you both to head that way.

It’s quiet for several minutes, minus the passing cars and people out and about at nine p.m. on a Saturday.

Your brain isn’t quiet. It’s racing. Trying to figure out how to save this. Save your identity. Save the one thing that you do that feels like it makes an impact because your work at the DA’s office can quite often feel like trying to carry sand in a colander - futile.

“Attorney Min.”

“I think you can call me Yoongi.” He doesn’t look at you, but opens the door to let you walk into the diner first. You return the wave of one of the servers who recognizes you before finding a booth and easing yourself in (you’ve never been here with a floor-length dress and heels on before).

He slides in across from you as you’re both greeted with menus and full plastic glasses of water.

The server, Bora who is working here to get through her associate's degree for accounting, asks if you want your regular.

Yoongi looks at you with pure amusement. “Your regular?”

You shrug. “Burger and shake.”

“What kind?”

“Chocolate malt.”

“Sounds good. I’ll have that too.” He hands back the menu to Bora and waits until she’s gone before speaking again. “So.”

You know how smart Min Yoongi is so you don’t try to deny it or evade.

“I won’t do it anymore. You can’t prove it.”

The eyebrows raise. “Prove what?”

You close your eyes, annoyed and frustrated. “You know what.”

You hear movement and open your eyes to see that he’s leaned more across the table.

From this close, you can see a little bit of a scar from where he’d bled that night.

“Do you think I’m gonna blackmail you?”

“Aren’t you? Why else say anything?”

He sits back at regards you with those eyes for several seconds. You take a long sip of your water.

“What’s the end goal?” he asks. “Either you get found out or you get hurt or you get killed.”

You’ve thought of that. You’ve thought about that a lot.

“I know.” You fiddle with the straw. “I thought it’d be just once or twice, but…”

“Doing good is addictive.”

You stare at him, thinking that he seems very sure of this. “Doing good?”

“You think I’m going to say that you shouldn’t do what you’re doing? I mean, yeah, it’s completely risky and the result will probably end in one of those three ways, but you’re doing good things.”

No one knowing about your secret is the right thing for everyone. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t lonely. Getting injured because you didn’t watch the hit coming, suffering through only a few hours of sleep sometimes and having no one to talk about it with…is very lonely.

“Thank you.”

He smiles a little as your shakes are delivered and you ask Bora how classes are. She updates you briefly. If Yoongi wasn’t here, she’d be way more detailed.

“But you’re on a date, so next time,” she says and leaves before you can correct her.

“You know,” Yoongi begins without so much as a response to the ‘date’ comment. “It’s antithetical to your real job. Doing something outside the law.”

It’s fascinating how neither of you has actually spelled out the secret.

“Yeah…I know.”

“I mean…it’s why I didn’t believe it at first. Not you. The assistant DA who challenges every line of questioning I start.”

“Not every one.”

“Okay, 90% then.” He has a warm smile like this. Twinkling eyes when he takes his first sip of the shake. “I’ve never had a shake here before. I’ve been missing out.”

If this was a date, you’d talk about how you’ve tried all the options they have on the menu and how the chocolate malt is by far superior and that it’s always the perfect smoothness and sweetness.

Shouldn’t think of this as a date, though. That’s dangerous.

“I do believe in following the letter of the law…but…”

“But?” His eyes still sparkle but he’s not drinking right now. He’s looking at you.

“It’s made by humans. And we never get it perfect or right. We just sometimes miss the mark.”

“So you became a vigilante.”

Not that you didn’t know that he knew (why else has this night even ended up like this?) but the words are so powerful and you feel frozen.

“I guess.”

He says your name again and you thaw some. “I’m not going to blackmail you. Or say anything.”

That confession takes several seconds to process.

“Why not?”

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, but Bora is back with your burgers. Some quick chit-chat chat and then you see Yoongi take a bite and nearly have a transcendent experience.

“Fuck, that’s really good.”

It’s weirdly validating. To have the Min Yoongi think your food choices are good.

He gets back to your question.

“We are on the same side, you know.”

“I think that we’re fundamentally not.”

“We are. I know what it’s like in the courtroom. We are enemies, I seek to represent my client in their best interests and you represent the law. I know.” He glances away for a second. “But it’s justice, right?”

“But you and your team constantly twist the law and–”

“Because sometimes compassion is needed. Grace and mercy. That’s still justice. Just a different side to it.”

It floors you. Not that you haven’t wanted to give someone a second chance, even those you oppose in the courtroom, but you’ve never heard it said like that.

You focus on your food, a bit jumpy from everything. “How did you figure it out?”

“That it was you?” You can hear his confidence and it’s both annoying and really attractive. “Your voice. Your height. The fact that your makeup sometimes doesn’t cover a bruise on your leg.”

Who looks at your legs that much?

You hear him move again and reluctantly look up. He’s watching you carefully.

“Your eyes mostly.”

“My eyes.”

He nods.

“In movies, the eyes show all the time and no one figures it out.”

He scoffs. “Okay, in movies, most people are dumb. Actually, in life, most people are dumb.” He pauses, pressing his lips together before speaking again. “And most people don’t pay attention.”

“You pay attention?”

“You know I do.”

“I know you do because you find every possible weakness in my arguments to pounce upon and destroy.”

He laughs and props his chin on his hand. “Absolutely. But that isn’t all I pay attention to.”

Logically, that follows, but you’re a little nervous to see where this path leads.

“It isn’t?” But you’re curious and you prefer the truth over anything, so you’ll just continue down this trajectory even if it ends in flames.

The laugh fades, but he still looks happy. The chocolate malt is amazing, but you don’t think it’s that happiness-inducing.

“I pay attention to you. Both professionally and…” He straightens and scratches the back of his head, looking for less like Attorney Min and more just…Yoongi. “Less professionally.”

Between your daily job and your nightly job, you don’t have much time for dating. And despite it being 2023, you’ve found that men are still intimidated by a professional woman, especially a lawyer.

So you don’t think about it much.

And yes, you have eyes and have seen Min Yoongi so you know he’s attractive and may or may not have starred in a dream or two, but that’s dreams. You’ve had dreams about the man who lives two doors down from you and he’s sixty-five and not your type.

“Less professionally.” Your brain is so overwhelmed that all you can do is repeat his words.

His smile turns wry. “I wouldn’t mind if this,” He gestures to the table and the diner, “is an actual date.”

He looks a little shy, which is a version of Min Yoongi you’ve never seen. The faint pink in his cheeks, the softer eyes; the fidgety hands.

You’ve had a lot to process tonight and it takes you several seconds to respond.

“I wouldn’t mind either.”

You do let Min Yoongi drive you home. He even walks you up to your third-floor apartment, chatting about getting to see his alma mater’s basketball game in two days, why Marvel movies no longer excite him as much as they did, and what kind of ramen he ate for two weeks straight when studying for the Bar Exam.

“It’s good,” he insists as you slow down in front of your door. “It was. I can’t even look at a package of it anymore without war flashbacks and nausea.”

“My comfort food was pop-tarts. And I still like them for some reason.”

“What flavor?” he asks stopping behind you as you unlock your door.

“Strawberry…or blueberry.”

“What? Not cinnamon or smores? What kind of lawless heathen are you?”

You laugh (not the first time tonight, you should have known that all those smarts of his would make him funny too) and turn back around to see his mock-horrified expression.

“If it’s fruit-flavored it’s better for you, right?”

He rolls his eyes. “Sure.” Then his smile drops a bit as does his gaze to his feet. “So…I guess I’ll see you later?” His head pops up then. “Are you…I guess, patrolling tonight?”

You shake your head. “One, is that a Buffy reference?”

“Yes,” he says without a hint of shame.

How on earth did he get more attractive?

“Two, my feet hurt.”

He winces in sympathy.

“And three, I have to be alert and well, this entire evening has made my brain really really hazy at this point. So it’d be stupid for me to go out like this.”

He nods, taking a step closer to you. “Makes sense. I wouldn’t ask you not to. I have absolutely no right to do so.” He looks up at you (your heels definitely give you a little height) and to add to your night of shocks, the way he looks at you is staggering. “But if you do, or when you do, can you let me know? Like occasionally check in so I know you’re okay.”

It’s a lot, really. To go from thinking someone hates you or is at least unimpressed by you to realizing that you’re cared for, and thought of. Especially when you find you feel the same way.

“I will.” You fiddle with your clutch purse. “It’d be nice to know someone is out there…paying attention.”

“Less professionally,” he repeats.

You chuckle. “Less professionally.”

There’s a pause in conversation, but it’s not quiet. You swear you can hear your heartbeat and the crackle of something in the air.

“I want to kiss you.”

You meet his eyes and try not to melt. “I’m okay with that.”

Kissing Min Yoongi is a bit like your night job. You are hyper-aware (his hands on your waist, fingers digging in when you open your mouth; the sounds of his breaths, one low moan that you feel all over; how he tastes like chocolate malt), a bit nervous (first kisses are normally so awkward, but this…this is probably what inspires poets), and have to be ready to adapt (when he leaves your mouth and nips at your jaw and neck, you almost ask him to come in).

He draws back too soon, but it’s a delight to see the flushed color of his skin, lips swollen from your mouth, his hair, already wavy, even more tousled.

“Let me know when you aren’t working…either job,” he whispers. “We’ll go out.”

“Or stay in.”

The awareness in his eyes makes your body even more tense, like any second you’ll snap like a broken guitar string. “Or stay in.”

It’s another soft kiss before he lets you go.

“Good night, Attorney Min.”

“Night, Anon.”

© yoongihan 2023. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. bts belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

#yoongi fic #yoongi mini series #lawyer! yoongi #lawyer au #vigilante au #rivals to lovers

465 notes · View notes

starcandybby · 1 year ago

Text

fic recs: bts ii

disclaimer: some fics contain mature content, so minors DNI!!!!

jin

on the ropes @raplinesmoon a | s - wc: 18k

ex-boxer!jin, lawyer!reader, infidelity!au

stay with me @bts-trash-blog f

long-distance relationship, established relationship

give me love @taleasnewastime s | f - wc: 6.1k

established relationship!, pwp

night drive @minimonojoon f - wc: 3k

best friends to lovers!au, groomsmen!jin x bridesmaid!reader

i’m all yours @sailoryooons f - wc: 2.3k

best friends to lovers!au, idiots to lovers!au, so so soft!!

forever @oddinary4bts a | f | s - wc: 25.2k

ex-fiancées to lovers!au

yoongi

speak now @vminity21 a | s - wc: 2.4k

friends to lovers!au, bride-to-be!reader

almost @bluewhale52 f - wc: 1.9k

established relationship!au, idol!au, wife!oc

like flowers we bloom @cupofteaguk f - wc: 5k

bad boy!au

no rebounds (series) @joheunsaram a | f | s - wc: 16k

marriage!au

swing life away @aphrodijin a | f | s - wc: 5.2k

married!au, first anniversary, pregnancy!au

hobi

the ick @taleasnewastime f - wc. 6k

friends to lovers!au

namjoon

first christmas @spideyjimin f - wc: 2.2k

established relationship!au, christmas!au, parents!au

how i love you @ahundredtimesover a | f | s - wc: 28.3k

established relationship!au, husband!namjoon

cruise control @lavienjin s | f | slight a - wc: 13.6k

street racer!au, doctor!reader

somewhere between the lines @caelesjjk s | a | slight f - wc: 9.8k

divorce!au, exes to lovers??

i love you @ughseoks f - wc: 1.8k

established relationship!au, slice(s) of life!au

doom boy @raplinesmoon a | s | slight fluff - wc: 14.2k

mafia!au, established relationship!au, namjoon thought he escaped his past…

class act @jvngkook97 f | s | a - wc: 4.7k

college!au, jock!namjoon, introverted!reader, strangers to lovers!au

an affair of the art @raplinesmoon f | slight a - wc: 1.3k

husband!namjoon, new parents!au, dad!namjoon, art enthusiasts!au

jimin

lovely demons @kpopfanfictrash a | s - wc: 41.7k

fantasy!au, enemies to lovers!au

serendipity (series) @sopebubbles a | f

idol!au, pregnancy!au, smau and written

lust @adonis-koo s - wc. 11k

demon!au, strangers to lovers

taehyung

heart of the flame (series) @chateautae a | s | f

roommates!au, friends to lovers!au

in bloom @untaemedqueen a | f | s - wc: 6.2k

tattooed&pierced!taehyung, tattoo artist!taehyung, florist!reader, married!au, family!au

farmer boy, i love you @strawberrynamjoon a | f | s - wc: 35k

farming!au, enemies to lovers

breath of spring @cupofteaguk f - wc: 9k

florist!au, strangers to lovers

girl code @allysonhope f | slight a - wc: 7.4k

friends to lovers!au, oc tries to respect girl code

come back home (series) @another-army-spot a | s | f

dad!taehyung, teen parents, exes to lovers

the odds on us @jimilter a | s | slight f - wc: 15.5k

exes to lovers!au

jungkook

crush @jungxk light a | f | s - wc: 5.1k

memory loss!au, established relationship!au, dad!au

a lover’s bond @latetaektalk heavy a | f - wc: 18.7k

greek mythology! AU- specifically orpheus and eurydice! AU

marry me? @bebejungkook f - wc: 0.7k

established relationship!au, gamer!jk, crybaby!reader

this is how you fall in love @jeonqkooks s | f - wc: 9.3k

rockstar!jk, established relationship!au

down and down @koorara a | f - wc: 12k

mma fighter!jk, exes au

put your head on my shoulder @koorara slight a | f | s - wc: 10k

married!au, husband!jk

alien invasion @nocturnal-jeon f

fiancée!jk, new dad!jk

the reconnect @bonny-kookoo s | a | f - wc: 12.5k

exes to lovers!au, one night stand!au, dad!jungkook

bleeding for you @mercurygguk a | f - wc: 3.3k

EMT!jk, fiancé!au, car crash

inkling @gguksgalaxy a | s - wc: 17.7k

tattoo artist!jungkook

love in the dark @spideyjimin s | a f - wc: 18k

ceo au, forbidden romance au, established relationship au, exes to lovers

the truth untold @crispy-chan a | f - wc: 26k

royal!au, forbidden love, arranged marriage, knight!jungkook x princess!reader

lover @wnderkoo f - wc: 2.1k

established relationship!au, break up!au (BUT NOT REALLY)

the manliest @kookslastbutton s | f - wc: 1.2k

established relationship!au, crack, jk tries to be hard dom

under your skin @bonny-kookoo s | f | slight a

strangers to lovers!au, tattoo artist!jk, shy!reader

what if i love you too much? @taleasnewastime s | f | a - wc: 20.6k

neighborhood!au, single mom!reader

busted @btsgotjams27 f | slight smut (suggestive) - wc: 0.8

husband!jk, biker!jk (enough said)

612 notes · View notes

hamsterclaw · 1 year ago

Text

Fic Library: Jungkook (Part 1)

I realised whilst compiling this library just how many Jungkook stories I've read and recced. It's probably because Jungkook stories are far and away the most prolific on my feed and also probably because the maknae looks and acts like he does. I hope you enjoy these, don't forget to show these writers some love.

Rattled JJK x reader, single dad JK by @gukslut. The Jungkook in this story breaks my heart with his grit and humanity, and the MC is so relatable it hurts. If you haven't read this, do yourself a favour and be prepared to have your world rocked. Probably my favourite fanfic of all time.

The Cul-de-Sac Cons JJK x reader, JHS x reader, con artist AU by @bonvoyagenoona. I've read and re-read this a lot, the love story between JK and reader is fraught with intrigue and danger, and all the side characters - cuckolded husband Hoseok, Yoongi, Namjoon, are fleshed out perfectly as well.

Lonely Hearts Club JJK x OC, dystopian sci-fi tattoo artist AU by @joonbird. A story that made me think about fanfic in a completely different light, angsty and terribly sad.

Ego JJK x reader, fuckboi college AU by @suga-kookiemonster. A series that had me hooked from the first chapter, a rolling romp, with the perfect ending. Adore.

Feels like summer by @badbhye is a sweet, funny, coming of age story featuring reader and an grown-up, glowed-up next-door-neighbour Jungkook. Also features the immortal line 'Fucking Aquarius bastard' which makes me laugh every time I think of it.

Blink and you'll miss it by @satnin-darling is a fun, fast-paced story with great scene-setting featuring a street-racer reader and rookie lawyer JK.

Spin Cycle by @miscelunaaa is a slow burn series where reader meets Jungkook in a laundromat and their relationship develops over a collection of fun-size drabbles.

Damsel in shining armor by @jimilter is a follow up to the equally great Knight in distress and features chaotic chaebol JK and a competent, take no prisoners reader. A fast-paced, hilarious caper involving reader trying to do damage control as JK wreaks havoc.

Burning bright by @snackhobi is a Pacific Rim AU featuring Jaeger pilots Jungkook and reader, and an unforgettable classic in my book. I love this, and it always reminds me how damn talented fanfiction writers are.

Ghosts just wanna have fun by @sugaxjpg is about a Jungkook who has the ability to see ghosts set in a med school AU and features Yoongi and Taehyung as cockblocking spirits. Sweet and so, so funny.

Blackout by @bonvoyagenoona is set during one night when the entire neighbourhood loses power and Jungkook and reader navigate the neighbourhood block party. It's the perfect romantic almost first date.

Under the stars by @madbutgloriouspond is a sweet, cute, fluffy, real story about Jungkook and reader in a college AU that I love, love, love.

THAT nose riding drabble by @here2bbtstrash honestly doesn't even need a title. JK is sweet, clueless but willing, and Yoongi? He's the voyeur of my dreams.

Disaster management by @jimilter is gold. Unruly chaotic chaebol CEO Jeon Jungkook is back, and company President reader is right by his side as they try to avert disaster.

Leave the door open by @here4kpopfics is a strangers to lovers neighbours AU story that makes me think about how annoying and irresistible Jeon Jungkook would be if he lived next door.

Car sex by @musicloverxoxo7 features co-workers Jungkook x reader who flirt their way to a smutty, sexy encounter.

Euphoria by @btssavedmylifeblr is a beautiful study of life, love and mortality that is one of the best stories I've read. Unforgettable.

Part 2

#fic library: jungkook #fic rec list: jungkook

135 notes · View notes

bangtanwritershq · 1 year ago

Text

BangtanWritersHQ Presents: “Golden Works of Art" Masterlist

For November 2023, we assembled a masterlist collection of fics to showcase the number 7 for Bangtan and Jeon Jungkook, and the release of Golden, Jungkook’s first album! There are many different AUs, genres, and pairings featured! So, if you're in the mood for all things SEVEN & GOLDEN, this masterlist is for you! Note: All fics are OVER 7k in length, and many feature Jungkook as their focal point but are not limited to being Jungkook-centric

Browse at your leisure and ENJOY!

KEY:

🔞 - nsfw (mature themes) ✅ - sfw (no warnings) 💖 - smut ⚠️ - other warnings

SET UP - emojis: Title (if link is to another platform) | Author [parts] pairings, genre/aus, rating, word count

🔞💖⚠️ Promises, Promises (Ao3) | @downbad4yoongi [1/1] Pairing: Jimin x Jeongguk AU Type: Mail Order Husband, S2L | fluff, angst, mild smut Rating: MA WC: 11,280

🔞💖⚠️ Make You Mine | @colormepurplex2 [2/2] Pairing: Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!f.Reader AU Type: A/B/O, E2L | angst, smut Rating: MA WC: 11,231

🔞💖⚠️ Lights, Camera, Action | @colormepurplex2 [3/3] Pairing: Actor!Jungkook x Artist!Reader (ft. Director!Namjoon x Artist!Reader) AU Type: Poly/3way Relationship, Coworkers/Strangers to Lovers | smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 22,484

🔞💖⚠️ Slow and Steady | @yoonia [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x female reader/Jungkook x female OC AU Type: Art | smut, angst Rating: MA WC: 7,137

🔞💖⚠️ Mirrors: What Becomes of Us | @yoonia [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader AU Type: Friends w/Benefits to Lovers | smut, angst Rating: MA WC: 8,454

🔞💖⚠️ In Motion | @yoonia [14/14] Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader AU Type: Sex Club | smut Rating: MA WC: 175,587

🔞💖⚠️ Song of You | @bethschamberoftales [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: 1930-40s Romance | smut, angst, fluff Rating: MA WC: 8k

🔞💖⚠️ Let Me Heal You | @bethschamberoftales [1/1] Pairing: ex!bf Jungkook x reader x lawyer! Taehyung AU Type: Coming of Age, Infidelity, Crime, Thriller | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 26k

🔞💖⚠️ I Put A Spell On You | @colormepurplex2 [2/2] Pairing: Demon!Jimin x Witch!f.Reader x Vampire!Jungkook AU Type: Demon/Witch/Vampire Halloween | angst, smut Rating: MA WC: 9,257

🔞💖⚠️ Chasing Shadows | @colormepurplex2 [4/4] Pairing: Sherlock!Jungkook x Journalist!f.Reader AU Type: Modern Day Sherlock Holmes | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 21,511

🔞💖⚠️ Flowers of Fate | @colormepurplex2 [4/4] Pairing: UnseeliePrince!Yoongi x Human!f.Reader (ft. x UnseelieGuard!Jungkook x SeeliePrince!Jimin x WoodNymph!Namjoon) AU Type: Strangers to Bonded Mates | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 56,072

🔞💖⚠️ On Wings of Mist & Memories | @colormepurplex2 [3/3] Pairing: DragonRider!Jungkook x FieldScribe!f.Reader AU Type: Enemies to Lovers, Exiled Royalty, Fantasy | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 39,753

🔞💖⚠️ Seeds | @downbad4yoongi [1/1] Pairing: Persephone!Yoongi x Hades!Hoseok AU Type: Modern Greek Mythology, Strangers to Lovers, Mafia | angst, smut Rating: MA WC: 7,902

🔞💖⚠️ Lifeline | @downbad4yoongi [1/1] Pairing: Namjoon x Reader AU Type: First Responder | smut, light fluff Rating: MA WC: 7,157

🔞💖⚠️ The Agile Fox | @yoonia [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x OC (named female character) x Yoongi AU Type: Shifters, Werewolf | fluff, angst, smut Rating: MA WC: 51,966

🔞💖⚠️ Bad For You | @yoonia [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader AU Type: Stripper | smut, angst Rating: MA WC: 11,340

🔞💖⚠️ To All The Men I’ve Fucked Before | @hisunshiine [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: tatbilb!au fake dating!au | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 30,586

🔞💖 Laundry Love | @hisunshiine [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: s2l, non-idol au | smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 9,983

🔞💖⚠️ Bangtan Scouts | @hisunshiine [20/20] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: sailor moon au | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 48,937

🔞💖⚠️ College Nights, Diner Fights | @hisunshiine [1/1] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: e2l, diner au, college au | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 9,841

🔞💖⚠️ Seven Days | @hisunshiine [7/7] Pairing: Jungkook x Reader AU Type: f2l au, fwb au | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 34,607

All stories copywritten of the specified author. The authors provided consent for their stories to the network to be shared by submitting their stories. Stories posted in the order of submission to the event.

85 notes · View notes

kithtaehyung · 10 months ago

Note

For the rapline fic, Jimin should be the lawyer wearing his chelsea boots

perfection. and him and yoongi would have the most tension in their confrontations omfg

#ohhhhh this would be so fun #anon #this was referencing the fic y’all are tempting me to write💀#and I Am Intrigued #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌#club rapline #club pjm

24 notes · View notes

yooniivrse · 4 months ago

Text

omfg, im rewatching suits rn and the urge to write a lawyer fic with a rivals with benefits kinda trope is so fucking strong

also i can't get the idea of yoongi or taehyung being like another vers of harvey specter out of my head and AHHH 🤭🤭

#tanni rambles ౨ৎ #ig i have the plot of my next fic planned out 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

9 notes · View notes

herarcadewasteland · 1 year ago

Text

Curious, Darling? (JK Version.)

A/N: Another post inspired by the lovely @kookslastbutton and their page title... as cats step on my keyboard and lacerate my shoulders :)

-Lawyer AU, non-accurate depictions of lawyer work lolol (most of my knowledge is from How To Get Away With Murder)

-(cocky) Defence Lawyer!Jungkook x Prosecutor!Reader

-This fic will contain brief sexual content. 18+ for this one, or just ignore this and read away, you control your internet consumption.

Much love again to the kind and amazing human behind the blog above ♥

Still rushed ish and again slightly dark somehow... but here it is!

Taehyung Ver.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your case was ruined. Not just any old simple counter evidence, no. He fucked it over. Yeah. Him. The one walking out of the courtroom with a smile over his won case. Did he just let a murderer go free without a single charge? Yeah. That was just the charm of his grayish fluff he called hair and his large boxy glasses that he had narrowed his eyes at you behind when you tried to dispute his own counter question with your next. It could have been the best success of your career, putting away The Moonlight, but Jeon Jungkook just had to pick up the case when the old defense lawyer gave up and quit the case less than 24 hours in.

You had accepted it gladly, the case a simple open close due to the amount of evidence against the man. You were confident until his polished shoes clicked against the floor of the courtroom behind you. That made you furious. He knew you were working on one of your biggest cases. The two of you kept in touch sometimes, having been a power couple in your university for a year and a bit. Your excitement over such a large case was palpable as you had texted him in excitement after drinking a little too much. And as he stepped past the barricade and made eye contact with you, his smirk creeping over his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, you knew it was no coincidence.

Throughout your entire relationship it was challenge after challenge, both of you competing to be better than the other in any way you could. More orgasms. More hickeys. More successful cases. More wins at Super Mario Cart. Fastest eating times. Best hair. You had won three of the ones you could think of off the top of your head. Though, the competition for more orgasms that had left you in tears wasn’t all that fair, considering men didn't really have that ability like women. So you accepted defeat with his stupidly perfect face lifting from between your trembling thighs. This was so much different though and as he walked towards you with a swagger in his step, you scowled.

“Jungkook.”, you greeted him shortly as he laughed happily.

“Oh Y/N. It’s a pleasure to see you under the circumstances. I believe you have some complaints though.”, his smirk didn’t drop once and it made you see red.

“We all know that the arrest warrant was fake. A fool could’ve seen the forged signatures. I’m surprised the judge didn’t call fabricated evidence on your forms after the officer showed clear signs of hesitation and disgust! His mother is in the hospital. Not being arrested for assisted manslaughter. Yet.”, you pushed past him with a huff, his words of false comfort powering your walk as you pulled your client with you.

It was all wrong. Every last piece of his late submission evidence was false and clearly so. It enraged you that his boyish charm and bunny-like smile made everyone look past the fabrications despite impartiality being required by all involved. You muttered to yourself as you told your client to go home and stay home at all costs unless called in by yourself, the judge, or the cops. Even if his mother was dying, he had to stay put. You would not let Min Yoongi go to jail for homicide on multiple counts. You refused.

—---

A month into the case and you were stressed. Jungkook kept pulling evidence out of nowhere to counter your own and had even managed to create condemning interrogation questions for Mr. Min to answer in the stand. You had witnesses though. Kim Seokjin would go to jail for his crimes and Jeon Jungkook could do nothing, and you meant nothing, about it. His questioning had gone too far, the judge agreeing on your objection to leading questions for your most important witness. A re-do was conducted and Jungkook phrased the questions normally, Yoongi answering truthfully as Jungkook's heavy gaze pierced into your back as you asked your follow-up questions. The jury looked swayed by Yoongi's apparent honesty as he made eye contact with each person and the judge during questioning. The session ended with a new date being sent out a few hours later. It wasn’t too far out, which meant you had to find even more evidence against Kim Seokjin or an innocent man would go to jail.

Your last resort was… illegal. But it was all you had left as Yoongi lost hope in living a normal life after all this, expecting the pale walls and sloppy meals of federal prison with a heavy heart.

“I won’t let it happen, Yoongi. I promise.”, you had whispered to him one night as he sat in your office crying. You had every intention to fulfill the promise and if breaking into Jeon Jungkook's home office was the way to do that, so be it.

The door creaked behind you as you slipped in through the back door. The lock clicked into place after you and you crept forwards. His light snores echoed from the large staircase as you located his office. Slipping into the dark room, you turned on a small desk lamp to see everything he had laid out. Searching through his desk drawers, you found an audio recorder and headphones so you pulled them from the drawer and set them aside to use after you searched his desktop and laptop for anything indicating his false documents.

Everything on his laptop was clear, a few emails from his mom, a few from his witnesses, one from you and three from the accused himself. You sighed and shut the lid of the device, your hands trembling with the weight of not finding anything against him as you rifled through his folders. Police reports, phone receipts, email receipts, credit card receipts and a few hydro bills scattered throughout. Nothing you hadn’t seen. Except for the clear cut on the bottom of one of the phone receipts. A call had been removed from evidence. That was your new goal for the moment, find an un-ripped copy and hope it was enough evidence for the judge and jury to decide to declare Kim Seokjin as guilty.

Searching and searching through physical papers brought nothing so you turned and opened his laptop again, searching through his history for anything regarding phone bills. He was quite dumb for a lawyer, you thought as you pulled open the original document from his history. Scrolling to the last call, your heart stopped. He had called Min Yoongi on the night he was arrested. That was almost detrimental to your case. It could ruin everything and paint Mr. Min in the biggest light of guilt he had been in so far. Closing the document with a sharp breath through your nose, you opened Jungkook's history again to clear it when a porn site caught your eye. A laugh left you before you could catch it, the title “Big tit woman handcuffed and fucked in court” making your eyes water with silent laughter as you pulled out your phone to take a picture of it. Opening the site, you giggled into your hand until you noticed some physical similarities between the “actress” and yourself. Shaking it off with a shiver, you picked up the audio recorder and headphones, flicking through small cassette tapes in order to find one dated in correlation to the night the phone record had mentioned. “7/7/23” written in his bubbly yet messy writing caught your eye quickly. Pushing the tape into the recorder, you hit play with the headphones resting over one ear so you could make sure Jungkook was still snoring away. His voice filled your ears as he talked about the case he was picking up, you sat through about 3 minutes of a case overview until you caught yourself drifting over to the porn on the screen. With a sigh you fast forwarded until you heard “call”.

“The accused sent out an outgoing call to Min Yoongi, the prosecution. The call was picked up and lasted a total of 3 minutes and 32 seconds according to the receipt in front of me. Accused refused to detail the contents of the call, so only Min Yoongi may be willing to answer questions regarding this call if I bring it into question. I don’t think I will. My client refused to detail so it won’t be included due to the clear hesitancy surrounding Kim Seokjin's innocence if he had refused to detail a call.”

While you had gathered Yoongi’s phone receipts, Jungkook's copy of Seokjins had been unknown to you (its full form) until now. This withheld evidence could be the turning point of this case. All that was left was to ask Yoongi about the call, bring it to the judges attention and Kim Seokjin was away for life. Your excitement with the recording that you pocketed overshadowed the fading of Jungkook’s snores and the approaching footsteps until a breeze passed over the back of your neck. Turning around swiftly and seeing no-one and nothing gave you further chills than what was caused by the breeze. Focusing back on the screen of porn in front of you, you chuckled as quietly as you could, your hand pressing play without realizing, moans filling the room and covering his footsteps again as he stood behind you. Your only indication that you had fucked up was his laughter against your ear, the almost silent huffs of breathing straightening your back in fear as his large hands circled your own on his keyboard.

“This isn’t- I wasn’t-”, you stuttered as your heart skipped a beat, his hands running soothingly over your trembling ones.

“My poor innocent dove. You weren’t watching porn? Or you weren’t breaking and entering while also stealing legal evidence for your own personal gain?”

Your held breath and panicked shuffles in the chair made him laugh audibly as he stood up straight and walked around his desk, leaning against the dark red wood with his hands, your eyes tracing the tattoos before he cleared his throat and your ears finally picked up on the porn still breaking the silence. You stared at the screen with wide eyes until he tsked and hit pause for you, the silence causing a ringing in your ears as he watched you struggle.

“You have two choices here, Y/N. And only two. No negotiations.”, he leaned forward to punctuate his words, “No. Lies.”

Your eyes widened further as you leaned away from him in his leather chair. A slight nod is all he got in response before your eyes fell to his bare chest and the tattoos covering his arm. His large frame shook with laughter as you lost yourself in his body like you were a horny highschooler again.

“Still in awe? Don’t worry. Your reactions to my body were always my favourite…”, he rounded his desk again to press his cheek to the top of your head, “Though not as good as your reactions to my cock sliding in and out of your pretty pussy.”

Heat flooded your face and you coughed, struggling to get out of the chair until his hands held you still, the porn filling your ears as he pulled the chair away from the desk to make you face him. Your eyes met his sparkling ones as the blush stayed present with the squelching sounds coming from the laptop speakers. A smirk crossed his lips as he pulled the cassette from your pocket, your eyes widening again as you reached for it, his long arm holding it far out of your reach as he could, your hands climbing his chest and shoulders as you grabbed for it in desperation.

“Please, Jungkook! This is huge evidence! Just because you’re defending the man doesn’t mean you don’t think that the case is better off with it!”

He hummed and let you grab the tape, your relief palpable as you turned back to his desk only to notice a folder with your name on it. You reached for it slowly in slight fear and concern before it was removed from your view with a swift snap of paper.

“Curious, darling?”, he booped your nose with a wide smile, “Too bad. This is not for your eyes even though your name is on it.”

You sighed heavily and nodded in hesitant agreement. He let you run from his office then, his laugh chasing you out of the door as you clutched the tape to your chest. Stumbling back towards your car as you faced the house, you met Jungkook's eyes as he watched you from the office window. A small wave sent you straight into your car as you sped away as fast as possible while breaking no laws. Settling yourself into bed that night, you trembled and slept with a light on. Something about it all was too unnerving for your anxiety. You fell asleep eventually with heavy eyes and rampant thoughts. What was in that folder?

A few days of nearly no sleep and glances over your shoulder in public led to the last day of court. The new evidence was submitted and accepted into question, Yoongi revealing the contents of the call that condemned Kim Seokjin to rot in jail for multiple counts of homicide and sexual assault. Your celebration with Yoongi at the bar down the road allowed Jungkook to find you and congratulate you with a smirk. As he walked away with your number and your availability for a date, it all clicked. He had meant for you to see everything you had. And you had fallen for it. Right into his trap. Afterall, you were curious, darling

#reader insert #herarcadewasteland #bts #fanfiction #fem!reader #send help #jeon jungguk #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #lawyer au #bts fanfic #kookslastbutton

43 notes · View notes

yuyu1024 · 10 months ago

Note

I think Yoongi is asking for his lawyer to void the pre nup. Hopefully it's not to late for him. #twilight

I'm loving this fic. Can't wait to read more.

👀 ahm....

Thank you btw for supporting and liking my simple story!! 🫶🏻

#yuyu1024 #bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #mafia yoongi #mafia au #kpop fanfic #min yoongi fanfic

11 notes · View notes

yoongihan · 1 year ago

Text

Vigilant(e) - Verdict - MYG (3/3)

pairing: yoongi x femreader

genre: vigilante au, lawyer au, rivals to lovers

word count: 5.3k

rating: M

warnings: language (the f-word mostly), kissing, cunnilingus, near handjob (m rec), unprotected sex (there is consent), so much kissing, a lot of teasing (verbal and otherwise), arguing, misunderstandings, some hacker language (i made up the term 'tag'), more discussion following the law vs doing good outside the law, etc. if there's anything that i missed, please let me know.

a/n: there was a goal today and the goal was to finish and post this. many thanks to @jl-micasea-fics and my other reader who will not be named (💜) for helping me out. a pox on the english language and its verb options for writing smut scenes. to those who have read and commented, thank you so much. i hope this is a satisfactory ending.

masterlist

series masterlist

part 1 part 2

Part 3 (of 3) - Verdict

“Hacking.”

You feel his hand tighten around yours then relax and start to loosen as though to let go. You grip tightly, your body responding to the loss of him before your mind can even decide.

“Meaning what exactly?”

He lets go and you hear movement and then fabric draped on your shoulders. Right, you aren’t wearing a shirt. You tug at it, realize it’s a zip-up hoodie, his, and shove your arms through the sleeves. He zips it up for you before grabbing a t-shirt that’s wadded up on the sofa in the corner, slipping it on.

“Hacking…” he clears his throat, turns as though forcing himself to look at you. “Finding an entrance point and relieving the company of what they hold so dear.”

It’s a contrast. How he stands and looks at you, both waiting judgment but also seeming proud.

“Money.”

He nods. “Money.”

“Oh my god, you take their money? You steal it?” It bursts out of you like the breaking of a dam. You turn and stare at the computers, trying to figure out how what you are seeing is doing what he is saying.

You can’t. You can’t even see currency symbols. It’s just numbers and letters in what looks like a made-up language.

“I take the money that they steal. From the vulnerable, the sick and disenfranchised and–”

“Stop it,” you interrupt, looking back at the screens. “It’s stealing, theft. No matter how you dress it up.” You take a breath. “It’s illegal.”

The second it’s out of your mouth, you recognize the irony.

His hands clench into fists at his sides. “Doing something outside the law always is. I thought you would understand that.”

Irony is heavy. It’s like a lead weight on your chest.

Of course you understand it.

“But…you’re…” This is the reason you can’t get emotional when in court. Because once you do, all of your oratory skills disappear.

“Mine’s worse?” He fills in.

Is it? Is his worse?

Your brain feels like it might melt and your heart…your heart hurts.

“Mine’s worse than yours?” It sounds mocking to your ears.

The realization sinks in.

This is why. This is why he didn’t report your vigilantism. He knew your secret, so he could share his.

You were used. You allowed yourself to be used.

“Doesn’t matter.” You answer his question. What else can you say? You want to shout and scream and argue that what he’s doing is dangerous, but it’s like you’re deflated.

One pinprick and you’ve got nothing.

It’s an impasse. Blackmail to exploit protecting his secret.

You drop your gaze, unable to look at him. Because he’s still so beautiful, and your heart is so attached and you are weak to feel like this.

“I’m gonna go.” You move toward the door.

He says your name and you stop in place.

“I won’t say anything. Not like I could prove it. And besides,” you glance back and in the eerie light of his computer room, the villain’s lair, his face is shadowed and you can’t read his expression, “You know my secret and now I know yours. We’re even.”

It takes everything in you to not run for escape. You grab your shirt as you go through the leaving room, shove your feet into your shoes at the door and are on the other side before you can think about the fact that you have on his hoodie. In full view of anyone, you yank it off and pull your shirt on. You turn to hang the hoodie on his doorknob when the door opens and he’s standing there.

“You’re just gonna go.” It doesn’t actually sound like a question.

You hold out his hoodie, your shirt still unbuttoned in the near-frigid autumn evening air.

“Yes.”

His eyes glance at your open shirt then back at you. “Keep it.” And he shuts the door.

You honestly can’t tell if your anger and frustration is at him or at yourself. So you storm off, putting on his hoodie backwards because it is so cold and fine, you’ll keep it because…

It might be the only thing you ever have of him.

–

Being in the DA’s office as long as you have does have its benefits. You have CIs (not as many as private practice attorneys probably) that are yours, not the DAs or your colleagues’. Sources that have helped you out and maybe, you’ve helped them out too (mostly a lesser sentence or small pardon).

Jin is the only computer-minded CI you have so after you spend a night processing (some tears, some punching), another night patrolling looking for a fight (you were granted one from a guy who tried to shoplift and run, but couldn’t get very far and then tried to hit you), you message him.

He’s in the middle of some sort of video game competition, but will meet you at his favorite bar later.

The bar feels like it’s out of a movie, but a movie doesn’t have the smell of alcohol and musty people.

“Explain again?” Jin's eyes are squinty as he tries to understand you. He swirls his espresso martini like it’s red wine.

You are trying to sound not emotionally invested, but you think he can probably tell.

Even if he’s just come off of gaming for like ten hours straight or something.

“Can you, with your computer wizardry–”

“It’s science,” he deadpans, looking at you with equally unimpressed eyes.

“That…can you follow something already hacked?”

His eyes are less unimpressed now.

“What?”

You do your best to explain (without naming names) that you know that a company has been hacked, and you wonder if there’s a way to find out where the information goes.

“Don’t you think if it was possible, the company would have done it?”

He makes a valid point.

“I don’t want to know who did it. I just want to know what happened to what gets taken.”

Jin adjusts the beanie on his head, leaning forward toward you, his espresso martini pushed to the side.

“Is this…for a case?” His voice has dropped despite the fact that this dive bar is stupid loud, but honestly, that’s why you think it makes you feel safe to have this discussion.

“No.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “No?”

Of course he’s confused. You aren’t friends by any means, so he only knows when you need help with work-related things. You like him well enough and maybe if you had anything in common, you could be friends, but you think he probably finds you a bit boring.

You are, really.

What does did Yoongi see in you?

The thought comes unbidden and you have to look at your pint of Smithwicks to push it away.

“I just…I need to know.” You hand him an index card with about five company names listed. “I’m pretty sure all of these got hacked. I know that’s not a lot of info…I just…need to know.”

“It could be awhile…if I am successful at all.”

“I’d pay you.”

He rolls his eyes. “It’s not about that, though…nice.” He leans back, card in hand, looking at the names carefully. “What’s being taken?”

“Money. I think it’s always money.”

Uplift of the eyebrows again. “Just money?”

You sip your beer, focusing on the taste and complexity so he can’t read how desperate you feel right now.

“I might not be able to, if they are good at what they do.”

“I think they are.” You shrug as though so much doesn’t depend on getting this information. “And maybe not. I figured I could ask, right? Better than not trying.”

Jin watches you for a second or two. “Yeah, sure.” He tucks the index card into his wallet before going back to his martini. “That it?”

Your turn to roll your eyes. “Good talk, Kim.” You toss 30,000 won on the table. “Just keep me updated?”

He nods, taking your money and flagging down the server for another drink.

“Sure thing. Now go away.” He smiles as he says it. “You look too nice for this place.”

“You're the one drinking a martini at a dive bar.”

His smile widens. “Yep, now fuck off.”

Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. You leave him to his booth and hear his abysmal pick-up line for the unsuspecting server. It makes you cringe and reminds you how awful the current dating scene is.

Not that you care.

Not that you even want to date.

The cold air hits you the moment you walk out and your heart returns to feeling much heavier than a heart should.

You just want Min Yoongi.

—

The first time you see Yoongi after that fateful night is unsurprisingly in the courtroom. You know you’ll see him, it’s the first case you two have together since the beginning of this thing with him. Which you guess is at its end as well.

God, that hurts.

He glances up when you join the DA at the prosecutor table. You’re later than normal, a last minute ‘you should really bring coffee and get that photo evidence and–” from your boss means you don’t feel at all ready for the opening statement and seeing Yoongi causes you to falter in your steps.

It’s searing.

You nod to acknowledge him before joining your side of the courtroom.

It’s not really your case today, you’re here to assist. To run and make calls, to do the constant bidding and normally you’d be bothered by the flagrant lack of respect, but you can’t muster up the indignation.

You’re tired.

While the DA and another ADA (his favorite) go grab something to eat during the short recess for lunch, you stay behind to reorganize. The evidence already presented by the defense makes it necessary to restructure some of the questioning.

The courtroom is quiet, only a few stragglers left in the seats as you pilfer through pages and folders.

“Not gonna eat?”

His voice is both the same and different. Same as in that you just heard his opening statement, objections, and that sent something through you; but different because he’s not talking to a jury and judge. He’s talking to you.

You look up to see him in the aisle. He waves on one of his colleagues, before returning his focus to you.

It’s dangerous; talking to you while in the midst of a trial.

“No time.” You intend to sound uncaring, but your voice gives a lot away. It sounds as weary as you feel. You clear your throat. “I’m fine. Enjoy your lunch.”

You look back at your work, pretend to ignore that he’s still right there and you can feel his gaze. Eventually he leaves and you let out a sigh of relief.

When court is back in session you find a pack of peanut butter crackers on the edge of the prosecutor bench. You surreptitiously look over to the defense side, but he’s discussing something with the defendant and takes no notice of you.

Which is honestly better.

But you sneak the crackers into your briefcase and when there’s a break in two hours, it quiets your hunger for food.

Your hunger for other things is still pretty intense.

—

It’s been two months and you get only three updates from Jin.

He’s good…if he’s a he…

Can u introduce? Kinda wanna b bffs

You don’t appreciate the irreverence even though that’s par for the course with Jin. Every time you see a notification from him, your heart stops.

Running out of ideas here. Might call it quits.

You expected this, you tell yourself. It’s a bit relieving that he’s good enough to fool even Jin. But you keep clinging to a hope that something will make this okay.

You don’t know what can make it all okay. It’s that pesky idealism that you still have despite your years in law and justice and in this very jaded world.

Giving up?

No. Got lk 2 more avenues to try.

So you keep clinging.

–

You wrench his arm behind his back. You almost laugh hysterically because this idiot tried to mug you. Despite you wearing your mask, beanie, your coveralls, and generally looking rather uninteresting, this person decides to threaten you with a gun.

The gun is on the ground by the dumpster currently.

“It didn’t even have bullets!”

You shove him against the wall, the brick that’s dark with grime and life.

“Still a gun,” you respond, keeping your voice as low as you can.

There’s a sound that surprises you. Not a curse or shout, but a gasp.

It’s a sob.

“I just…I just needed some money.”

You turn your perpetrator around, his back against the building and you step back, letting him run if he wants to. He slides down to the cement, one hand over his face.

There’s nothing about him that makes you think he’s tweaking. He wasn’t strong when you disarmed him, so there’s a lack of adrenaline induced by drugs.

He’s pretty coherent.

“For what?”

He looks up, face shiny wet from tears and snot. “Huh?”

“Money for what?”

He swallows, and tries to stand up. You definitely bruised him if his pained expression is anything to go by.

Why do you feel bad?

“Bills.”

You wish he had said food. You could have bought him food. But this could be a lie for money for something that you would hate to contribute to. Or the truth.

So you choose to believe.

You sigh and pull out your wallet, still watching him. He doesn’t move, doesn’t even try to go for the gun that still sits as though it could never harm.

You have all of 150000 won in your wallet, which you offer.

He stares at you for so long that you worry he can see who you are, but then takes it. He does it as slowly as he can, as though waiting for you to snatch it back, or attack him.

He’s scared of you.

Which doesn’t fill you with any joy.

“You serious?”

You nod and then cross into the path from him to his gun. “I’ll take this though.”

It’s probably not a fair exchange, but you figure the gun wasn’t bought by him. He’s gone from the alley before you even get the gun. You check it and find that yes…there were no bullets.

It makes you feel less like a fool for giving him the money.

With care you slip the gun into your backpack, not really sure what to do with it, but hopefully you can figure that out later.

“You never shut off your location, you know?”

Your head shoots up at his voice.

He’s looking much like he did when you ran across him months and months ago. Just off work if the suit is anything to go by. He has on an overcoat because it’s ridiculously cold.

“What?”

Yoongi walks toward you, his overall appearance in stark contrast to the filth that is this sidestreet.

“You shared your location with me, remember?” he says, stopping just a few feet away. “So I’d know…” He tilts his head to the side, watching you. “You look cold.”

“It’s cold.” You slip your backpack back on wondering why he’s telling you now…not months ago. “I’ll undo the location finder thingy.” You turn to go down the opposite direction.

“Hey.” The light touch on your elbow. “My place isn’t that far away. I have soup?”

You turn to him. “Why? Why now?”

His unrelenting gaze relents as he looks away. “I was worried.”

You are in one of the worst areas of the city.

“You came to find me?”

He meets your eyes. “Yeah.”

It’s not like you don’t have questions, so many questions and thoughts. You just haven’t been able to figure it all out yet and what you think exactly.

“Okay.”

–

You toe off your shoes in his apartment, the irony of being here again not lost on you. He hangs up his coat on the rack by the door and with slippered feet, walks toward the kitchen as he takes off his suit jacket.

You press your lips together at the sight of his back in that light blue button down, how it stretches when he moves.

You shake your head as though that will shake those thoughts out of your mind (no luck).

“It’s in the freezer,” he calls from his kitchen. “It’ll take a bit to thaw and heat.”

“Okay.”

You pull off your mask and beanie, dropping them into your backpack that you’ve left at the bottom of that coat rack. With him occupied, you undo the coveralls, knowing that trying to explain that you have on perfectly decent clothing underneath (because it is stupid cold this winter) will just make it all awkward and it’s already awkward enough.

So when he comes back around rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, he finds you in thermal leggings and a long sweater.

You force a smile to your lips. “Need a hand? With the food?”

His eyes trace your form and it burns in the best way. He doesn’t even look embarrassed when his attention is back on your face.

“Not really. But you can come bother me.”

It’s strange. The domesticity that you craved is on the surface, but everything you want to ask, to feel is bubbling underneath. You lean against a countertop drinking a glass of water (that he insisted you need), watching him stir the thawing seolleongtang.

“You gave him money.” he says with his back to you as he continues to ‘bubble bubble toil and trouble’.

Of all the beginnings of a conversation with Yoongi, this was not what you had anticipated.

“Um. You saw?”

“Yeah.” He looks over his shoulder at you. “What happened?”

You try and recount it, downplaying the mugging because you can see his shoulders tense.

“I wasn’t really in any danger.”

“You were, but you handled it,” he says. He lowers the heat on the range before turning around to face you. “Why the money?”

“He needed it.”

He shakes his head in a way that makes you think he’d smile if you were on better terms. “You really are the most atypical prosecutor I’ve ever known.”

It feels both insulting and fond at the same time.

“Thanks so much.”

He smirks before turning back to the pot and continuing to speak, “So…interesting thing’s been happening,”

You hum a response, eyes trying to stay on the back of his head instead back of his pants.

“I’ve got a tag.”

“A what?”

He just turns his head slightly. “A white hat’s been trying to follow me.” Small smirk. “Like if I'd left a cyber trail. Trying to follow it. A tag-a-long. A tag.”

Fuck.

“Oh?”

He sets down the spoon he’s been stirring with and turns around completely. “Which is concerning, right? Because anonymity is pretty important.”

The similarity to your title makes you all the more tense. “Of course.”

“But I realized he or she or they wasn’t trying to find me. They were trying to follow the money.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “So, I let them.”

You think of the information Jin sent to you two days ago. He’d seemed so pleased with himself. You swear to never tell him different.

“You did? Why?”

He’s walked into your space, not touching you, but so close you aren’t sure you can breathe.

“Why didn’t you just ask me?”

You’d hate how smart he is if it wasn’t so attractive.

“I didn’t know if you’d tell me the truth.”

“That’s valid.” He braces both hands on the counter, effectively caging you in. You both know you can get out if you want to. “What did you find out?”

“All the money goes to charities, rehabilitation programs, to the people who were affected by the exploitation and greed. You do it after the case…sometimes immediately, sometimes months later…only after you win…”

“If I lose, the money goes to who needs it, hopefully.” His eyes haven’t looked away from you for even a second.

“That isn’t all I found out.”

“Oh?”

The glass in your hands is empty, but you’re worried that if you put it down and have your hands free, you’ll be unable to hold yourself back from touching him.

“Your financials.”

Something flashes in his face. He’s pissed now. Whether it’s because you breached his privacy or because he didn’t catch that you did, you suppose it doesn’t matter. You don’t want to lie to him.

You see the flexing in his forearms as he grips the counter more tightly now.

“Why?”

You swallow. “The car? The loft? I know how much you should be making in private practice, a successful private practice. I know what you bill for an hour of your time.”

He curses and looks away. “That’s fucked up and you know it.”

“I do.”

“You could have asked.”

“We haven’t really been on speaking terms.”

He huffs out a laugh, reluctant.

“You give away your money.”

He raises his head before shaking it.

“You do. You can call it a tax break if you want, and you also invest and save a fair amount, but you live on a lot less than others in your same tax bracket.” You take a quick breath. “You Robin Hood on the side, but your life is equally as generous.”

“You’re more detective than lawyer,” he mutters. “Sure you’re in the right field?” He takes a moment. “Why did you need to know?”

“I keep looking for something to make it okay.” You close your eyes. “Something that makes it okay for me to still feel the way I do about you.”

“Jagiya,” it’s so quiet you wonder if you’ve imagined it. “It’s something I could go to jail for. For a long time.”

“I know.”

“What you do…”

“What I do is not great, but it’s murkier than…” you trail off. “I would maybe spend a night in a cell.”

“I know.”

His gaze is steady again, prompting you to say more.

“I thought maybe you only asked me out, pursued me because you knew I wouldn’t be able to turn you in. Because of how we met.”

He scoffs. “We met in the courtroom three years ago.”

“You know what I mean.”

He tugs the glass out of your hands. “You’re gonna break that if you keep squeezing.”

Your hands are empty but you keep them at your sides with every ounce of strength you have.

“We met three years ago and I liked you then.” He moves closer, peering up at you so you have to look at him. “I didn’t have to tell you, you know? It’s unlikely you would have found out. I’m good at what I do.”

“Annoyingly so.”

That makes him smile. “I told you because…because I know about Anon. Because it balances the scales.” His hands release their death grip on the counter and find your waist. You shiver and you know he feels it. “Because we can’t be casual. You should know all about me before anything.”

“That’s a pretty big risk, Attorney Min.”

“Yeah, well, I think it’s worth it.” He’s moved closer and closer until you can feel his breath on your lips. “I do the hacking because I couldn’t live with my job if I didn’t. And maybe I assumed it was the same for you.”

Your hands have moved of their own accord and are gripping the front of his shirt. He leans back as you try to eliminate any space between you. It freezes you.

“I…”

“You have to tell me,” he says. “You have to tell me if you can accept this. Accept me.” He swallows and you watch the movement of his throat.

“It’s scary.”

“Yeah.” His hands slide up your sides then back down. “Guess we might have to trust each other.”

“And be careful,” you say quickly. “At what we do.” The urgency of your words is as loud as a gong in the quiet of his kitchen. “Please be careful, Yoongi.”

“Is that a yes, then?”

You’ve wrinkled his button-down, your fingers twisted in the fabric as though he might vanish. “Yes.”

His kiss is light and gentle, and he laughs when you pull him closer, a nonverbal indication that the softness isn't all you want. His hand skims up your back to your neck and he rests it there, a slight grip that tightens when you start to unbutton his shirt. There’s another laugh, but it’s keyed up.

“The soup is nearly ready.”

You cover his mouth with yours, the kiss not light and not gentle as you finally finish undoing the buttons and your hands can delight in the heat and expanse of his skin. He mutters your name, his thumb running along the length of your neck before he reaches down and starts to pull up and off your sweater. He drops it on the kitchen counter then rests his hands on your bare shoulders, warming them immediately.

“I haven’t seen your bedroom, Min,” you say between kisses, pushing his shirt off his shoulders and arms. “Show me?”

His response is a hard press of his mouth, his hand lacing with yours to drag you out of the kitchen.

“The stove!”

He pauses and turns it off, glaring at you. You smile widely at him, before trying to undo his belt. He bats your hands away as he continues on his original mission.

“Did you want to burn the soup? Or your whole apartment?” you tease.

“I can’t tell you how much I am not thinking about the soup or my apartment right now.” He shoots back, frustration edging his voice.

Maybe you’ll get used to being wanted by this man. Maybe someday, you won’t be surprised and elated that he seems to crave you as much as you crave him.

Maybe it’ll be ordinary in the future.

But it’s not right now. Stumbling into his bedroom (which you can’t even tell what color the walls are because he doesn’t turn on the light, the streetlights outside give you enough glow to see him), falling back on his bed as he rids you of your leggings, his hands in your hair as you sit up and remove his belt and suit pants, his body covering yours, the kisses on your lips, your neck, your breasts, your waist and your–

“Wait.”

He lifts his head, eyebrows up in question.

“You don’t have to. Equals…and…same level…” The heat of his breath touches you through the thin barrier of your underwear.

He hauls you closer, his lips brushing that thin barrier. You stammer something nonsensical.

“I want to.” He cocks his head to the side, that arrogant smirk returning. “And I told you. I like to take my time.” Hooking a finger, your underwear is discarded and the first lick makes you arch up. “Easy,” he says, hands holding your hips firmly to the bed.

He does like to take his time. The gradual strokes of his tongue, the lazy circling with his thumb, the slide in and out of his finger. The rhythm is slow, savoring, and punctuated with pauses as he learns you and what works and what doesn’t.

“You called me a menace…” you breathe out, your hand tangled in his hair. He laughs against you, the vibration pushing you toward the inevitable even more.

He’s still chuckling when you break not long after. He rubs your legs as you come down before crawling up your body to grin at you once your vision is no longer blurry.

“Good?”

Yoongi is smart, but he doesn’t see the future, so it’s absolutely thrilling to see the widening of his eyes and his exclamation ‘oh’ when you flip him over to straddle him, flicking the waistband of his boxer-briefs with amusement.

“Good?” you parrot, watching him carefully to see how he feels about being woman-handled. The flicker in his eyes, the way he clutches your hips tells you.

He likes it. A lot.

You raise up on your knees so you can strip him before settling back on his thighs. With one hand you undo your bra, your other hand wrapping around his cock as delicately as you can.

He huffs your name.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you dare.”

You lean down, hand still in a light grip as you wipe off his mouth and chin before pressing just as delicate a kiss to his lips.

“Dare what?” you whisper, drawing back as he tries to kiss you.

His hand encircles yours, and he squeezes so you squeeze. The groan he lets out is so satisfying. You press another soft kiss on his nose before straightening up, and stroking him with a tighter hold.

“Jagi.” Minutes later he pushes himself up, grabbing your wrist to still your movements. “I can’t…I need…condom.”

You wonder if rendering you speechless affected him like it does you in this moment. To see his struggle to hold off, to want release, but also want a different release.

“I’m okay without one. I’m clean.”

He’s jumpy, tense and his nod seems frantic. “Same.” He stares at you then jolts when you run your thumb along his tip. “Please.”

You let go, cupping his face in your hands for another kiss. He holds you by your wrists, his tongue to the seam of your lips. The caress of his tongue against yours distracts you for a second from how he has maneuvered and lifted you so he can slide into you. He whispers quiet encouragements as you ease down on him. You’ve buried your face into his neck, the stretch feeling so good it’s almost overwhelming.

There’s a pause when you’re both fully connected, when you lift up to meet his gaze. His lips are parted, pale skin flushed, sharp eyes softened. He looks at you as though you are someone to be admired.

“Okay?”

You nod at his question, his quick check-in.

Your brain doesn’t seem to have the ability to turn off, which is certainly a boon in areas of your life, but you’ve often wished it would be quiet in more intimate moments. To just feel and be present, to enjoy the immediacy of physical pleasure.

You’re not wired like that.

It doesn’t seem to matter as much now. Your brain is still running on all cylinders, but in a way that just focuses on you and him. The feel of his shortened breathing on your chest, the taste of his skin, the texture of a faded scar on his shoulder, the bite of his nails, the scent of sweat and cologne spice, the low intonation of his moans.

How his eloquence falters when nearing his climax.

“Pull out?” His words are staccato.

“No. IUD.”

His eyelashes flutter when you reply, like he doesn’t quite understand.

“Stay in,” you whisper.

Maybe it’s what you say, or how you clench around him, maybe the nip to his ear, or pull on his hair; or all of them are what tips him over into release.

He falls back onto the bed, still holding you as his strength gives out. You don’t move, content to lay on top of him, feel the rapid up and down of his chest as he gets his breath back.

You feel him trace one finger up your spine and down before you speak.

“I think we need a shower.” It’s muffled as you don’t really want to remove your mouth from his collarbone.

He huffs a laugh. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Then soup.”

Another laugh that makes you look up at him. His eyes are tired and warm and you could fall into them like curling up in a cozy blanket on a drizzly day.

He kisses your forehead.

“Yoongi?”

“Hmmm.”

“Thanks for coming to find me tonight.”

The smile that stretches his lips is both charming and shy. “Yeah, well, thanks for saving me that night.”

You bite his collarbone and he yelps.

“Must you use the finger quotation marks?”

He doesn’t answer as he’s kissing you again, but once he comes up for air:

“I must.”

#yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #bts smut #bts angst #bts x you #bts x reader #bts fic #bts fanfiction #yoongi au #yoongi imagine #bts imagines #my writing #fic: vigilant(e)

198 notes · View notes