#fic review: holiday shambles

[ressjeon]

hello i just read holiday shambles. its a good fic i just have some constructive criticism: the fic overall seems very rushed and there's no proper flow to it. Things just keep happening one after the other very fast, and each event is written about in only a few sentences before moving to the next one so some things don't really make sense (e.g. why did the oc follow namjoon to the store, namjoon suddenly got locked in the attic). I think thid fic can become even better with a lil editing.

hi and well FORGIVE me anon for not having a beta reader to edit this fic but i actually intended the flow of the story to link with the title "shambles” meaning “chaos”. i wanted readers to feel the stress while reading this just like i did when writing (with all the events piling up) and this is also one of the fics that i wrote/posted simultaneously with the other 2 in the span of 3 days so yeah maybe it did felt rush. thank you either way and i do have plans on editing all my fics one day when i have time but for now, i have a lot of fics to write if you check my WIPs though i may edit this one during Christmas time since i'll cross-post it to AO3 in December to fit with the season.

i'll provide a short outline of the fic under the cut to avoid spoilers along with the passages from it with the scenes that you were asking so you can understand the story better. hope it helps ^^

the entire fic happened in 2 days (December 24th to the 25th) that’s why the events were quick and i didn’t emphasize it that much since some people who might read this don’t celebrate Christmas so i wanted it to just be a holiday weekend

it was the early morning of the 24th when they were driving to the rental house

after the argument with his parents, OC went to the bedroom upstairs to cry and avoid further arguments with them and then she was wondering why her parents aren't at the house yet (when they're usually early)

oc followed Namjoon to the town centre after because she knows that Namjoon might forget to buy it (after she reminded him everyday and he did STILL forgot to buy it later because he was panicking after your parents told him that you saw him in the store with the saleslady)

oc picked up her parents after seeing him at the store and at the time when he’s done buying and called her parents, they’re already at the house so then he knew you saw them

he tryna say sorry after he came home but he knows you’re near your limit so he proceeds to give you space and decides to put up the lights outside while you order food and do some last minute decorating

OC is exhausted and almost passed out during Christmas Eve dinner (after arguing again with his parents about her not being able to cook)

Namjoon took OC up to their bedroom to rest and yeah yk how he was able to make OC release everything she’s been holding up and calmed her down 😗

After calming her down, that’s when Namjoon leaves to the attic to hide his gift for OC since she’s good at finding them

Meanwhile, your Dad walks up in the hallways to find the opened ceiling with the dangling ladder and shakes his head as he lifts it up to close it, accidentally locking Namjoon inside.

this was why Namjoon was locked in the attic and it was late at night/early morning after midnight already so everyone must’ve been sleeping

OC wakes up on the morning of the 25th without Namjoon by her side and she thought he fell asleep somewhere after climbing the roofs again (he usually sneaks out after OC sleeps to do something that she’ll surely scold him for)

that day was when all of you would go to the town centre to hopefully look around the Christmas displays or do some holiday activities/bonding time with both of your parents (take pics, have some hot chocolate, etc.)

Namjoon was sleeping in the cold already that’s why he woke up pretty late and then he tried to get out from the attic, where he finally saw you and your parents leaving so he yelled

and then he lowkey fell and both of your Moms were overreacting because of what happened to you the night before so they insisted to bring you both at the hospital just to be sure

and yes Namjoon did get minor injuries from falling a bit and OC is still floating with what’s happening and now she just found out that she’s pregnant 

it’s honestly the only good thing that happened so she’s happy and she actually want the baby, she just wanted to tease Namjoon because of his clumsiness earlier (and she was lowkey jealous with the saleslady)

this was still on the 25th so a Christmas gift indeed for both OC and Namjoon

i’ll let you guess what the gift was 👀

i whipped this outline just now so ye hope it makes sense