#fhump

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DAY 5: BITE

"I have a full-time job getting my ass tortured by you, and I'd appreciate it if my evil alter ego wasn't dropping out of the ceiling trying to set me on fire all the goddamn time!"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody Summary: In which I, a "seasoned" "whump" author, reunite with Marty in my infinite office building for another unhinged month of annoying albeit diabolical torment to celebrate my second year hosting June of Doom. The contracts are signed, and the Magical Reset Ice Cream is in the freezer, so let's get this show on the road!

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I have found my groove with this challenge and it’s going to be excellent. 👌🏻

Buckle up, Marty. All we have is grape!! 🍇

Hi!

This is probably a pretty dumb question, but I know whump is normally kind of hardcore. I was wondering if it would be okay to take a more humorous interpretation of the prompts?

Either way, thanks so much for creating this list! I can’t wait to participate!

Not a dumb question at all, and PLEASE DO so I won’t be the only one! I was also very afraid that I would have to do more “hardcore” whump, but I decided to go the comedic route after trying to make myself do the more serious stuff for two weeks.

My whole approach is kind of meta, arguing with my protagonist about the prompts and pitching ideas to him:

“Are you telling me that, in theory, I could eat so many snow cones that I give myself hypothermia?” I tossed my head side to side. “It would involve force feeding, but I’m willing to put you through that for the sake of science.” “Can I have any flavor I want?” “All we have is grape.”

So please! Bring on the fhump (funny whump)! Can't wait to see your take on the prompts!! :D

[schadenfreudich]

I very casually said "Oh, you can just sprout feathers, no?" but I wasn't expecting the casual "Oh yeah" and what looked like a feathery explosion. What the fuck?

[pastelanthophila]

*hits you with a broom gently* stop *fhump* liking *fhump* my half baked *fhump* art! *fhump*

You expect me to simply ignore this fine feast of art laid out before me?! I will consume all of the rise oc content and there is just simply nothing you can do to stop me!

[positivelybeastly]

@mutantmuses

"You, and, me, we're nooooot the same / I, am a sinner, you are a saint / When we get to the peaaaaarly gates / You'll get the green light, I'll get the old door in the face! Doo-doo-doo, I'm a loser, a disgrace - oh, blast!"

With a fhump, Hank dropped from the rafters he had been dangling from, and moved to grab the fire extinguisher as an experiment he'd been leaving to burble along happily on its own suddenly exploded into flames.

Not even turning around to look as he heard footsteps at the door to his lab, he just waved a hand at his visitor.

"Not to worry, just a minor conflagration! If I'm quick, it won't even set off the sprinklers!"

[spudcat]

scrunkly cat being entity good friend mutal how are you ? good to see you knit bye! (im sorry it sounded funni in my head like bread the fhump one)

hi hi !!! i am very good actually :D

[rassotheraccon]

Wyvren laurance beating his wings when he gets really frustrated or angry. just "fhump fhump fhump"......"fhumpfhumpdhumpfhump"

also does it when yelling at someone.

[greatsword-enthusiast]

Alone - in the woods

*Fhump* With a thud like partially dried clay smacking into wood, a man appeared in a forest clearing.

Standing 6 ft 5 in tall, he leaned against a nearby treetrunk and rubbed his hand over his temples. Running his hand through his graying brown, shoulder length hair, he surveyed the nearby copse of dense pine and sighed.

"Is this far enough?" he spoke, his lightly timbered voice echoed through the woods.

*Its never enough.* A deeper voice whispered in his mind.

He felt tendrils of darkness work their way down his shoulder, traveling to his fingertips. Suddenly his hand clenched tightly into a fist.

*Yesss...you weaken.*

With a violent shake, he wrenched his hand upwards and slowly uncurled his fingers one by one.

"Not yet. I'll make it so no one can be hurt by either of us."

With a slow heave, the sinister chuckle echoing in his head, he pushed off of the tree and moved in the direction of the mountain range rising high above the forest. He stepped down.

*Twist the fabric here* he thought.

The man disappeared into thin air, reappearing with another thud further ahead; the mountain range much closer than before and growing larger with every step.

First near a river, then atop a large fallen tree, startling a doe into flight. He glanced in the direction of the fleeing animal, appraising the bobbing tail disappearing into the underbrush before continuing to step between pockets of space.

The man appeared at the foot of the closest mountain, sighing.

"Here should be a good place to meditate," remarking aloud as if to the air, he turned his back on the mountain.

As he settled into a kneeling position on the ground, he heard a clashing through the trees. Deciding the doe was still fleeing from his last position, he kept his eyes closed and began to relax, breathing deeply.

Suddenly several things happened all at once.

First he heard a voice, young and trembling, say "Who are you? What are you doing all the way out here?."

With a start, he opened his eyes and stared in shock. Two thoughts rang out in his head, side by side. The first, an impassioned *NO!* The second, a cruel and bitter *YESSS!*

Before the Mad Sage Dren could react, his body was overtaken by a malevolent darkness, a glint flashing in his steel grey eyes, his body tightened up as he lost control of his motor functions one by one.

In one slow graceful move, he rose from his kneeling position, all the while screaming in his own head, no longer in control.

*Since you have always been kind enough to allow me the torture of watching your disgusting self righteous acts through our eyes.* The dark voice purred over the din of Dren's futile warnings to the young girl before them.

*I will give you the same privilege.*

While his inner thoughts were a miasma of despair, Drens face revealed nothing to the child before him, a faint smile, warm and charming, rested on his face. Although his eyes seemed colder somehow.

With a stretch of his neck and a loud CRACK as his joints shifted into a more pleasing symmetry, he bowed with a flourish.

"Ah, I am a hermit, simply taking in the clean mountain air child. Might i pose the same question to you?"

The child, looking closer to adulthood upon further inspection, stood just over 5 ft tall. She wore a loose leather jacket over a patched shirt, brown fringe splayed along the edges, with a pair of dark tanned breeches and soft hunting shoes.

On her back rested a longbow, the string pulled over one arm, ready to be drawn at a moments notice.

Staring warily through medium length blonde hair, she nodded at the response and gestured to her bow.

"I've come out to hunt some deer for the village, and check the fish traps in the river." She paused, a while in thought. Tilting her head she asked. "Hermit from where? The haven't been folk in these parts in many a moon."

This is just the start of my novel, set in a world built by my best friend requiemesque :) i hope to get more done soon.

[parmesangarlicwings]

Nasty, Nasty Business

              Another train blew by overhead. The walls shook and my bedposts violently vibrated as the chkchkchk from the tracks rhythmically shook my head. Another sleepless night, and before the morning shift too.

               It had been a long day at work. HR had requested filings for every single client this week. I had to sort through thousands of files today with the other intern, making sure claims were in place, and determining payouts, if any at all. It was boring work, but occasionally you would get something funny. Usually they were dull, or sad.

               “Hey Maxy, look at this one,” Enrique guffawed as he peered down into the filing cabinet. “Here,” he handed me a file.

               “I can’t believe it,” he chuckled again. The things these people claim! And they expect us to pay for their bullshit.”

               I had to admit, some of the claims people make are ridiculous. Like this guy, Henry. Seriously? Headaches from constipation. Sure, buddy. I stamped the big red DENIED on the front cover, and kept going.

               We kept filing throughout the night. If we decided someone received a payout, it was a long arduous process in which we had to scan it over to HR, then record the claims and value of the payout in a spreadsheet, and then finally refile it. It was even worse if someone was denied. We had to do all the work as if it wasn’t denied, and then record what the payout would’ve been for each individual claim in a separate spreadsheet, which had to be EXACTLY in order with the original spreadsheet.

               “Here, one Joseph Townley,” Enrique rolled his eyes at me. “Great. Make sure to get it down yeah? He’s got a buncha them too.”

               I sighed. Clients like this were a hassle. Numerous claims and no payout, which meant more spreadsheeting. Poor Joseph Townley. For a second I pondered on why exactly he had been denied. These claims were reasonable, far more reasonable than any of the denials I had seen that night.

               “Maxy! Come on, let’s go! Just deny that shit, he ain’t got a good credit history,” Enrique scowled at me, urging me to continue typing the spreadsheeting. I sighed, and stamped the file.

               Another train shook me out of my thoughts. Chkchkchkchk in rhythm. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four.

               FHUMP.

               That certainly isn’t the train.

               I sat up from under my covers, and peered out the window overlooking the metal fire escapethat lined the side of my apartment. Dark yellow light flickered in my eyes, the source being the old lamppost across the street. The train chkchkchk’d away. I brushed some of the murky dust from the window, and tried to get a better view of the black object resting on my small balcony.

               It was a duffel bag. Carefully, I opened the window and outstretched my arms, pulling the bag in. It was dusty, with streaks of dirt smeared across it. A small rip in the side of the bag exposed…

               Money. A little corner of green poked out of the tear. I ripped the zipper down, revealing rolls and rolls of cash.

               I swallowed.

               A knock sounded at my door. Yeah, now I’m officially creeped out. I got up, and shoved the bag under my bed. I walked slowly toward the door, and peered out the peephole.

               A snowman stared back at me, its mouth twisted in a devious smile.

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DAY 14: Surrender

"Gooooood morning, Vietnam! I'm back!"

(Look at me, I put the right link in this time!)

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody Summary: In which I, a "seasoned" "whump" author, reunite with Marty in my infinite office building for another unhinged month of annoying albeit diabolical torment to celebrate my second year hosting June of Doom. The contracts are signed, and the Magical Reset Ice Cream is in the freezer, so let's get this show on the road!

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🍂 Comfortember 2023 Masterlist! 🍂

The Naivete of Marty McFly (Meta Marty #3) [AO3]

Safe [X]

Sweater Weather [X]

Leaves Changing [X]

Warmth [X]

Treehouse [X]

Notes [X]

Sick/Illness [X]

Candles [X]

Colors [X]

Sadness [X]

Comfort Show/Movie [X]

Dreams [X]

Baking [X]

Late Night Phone Calls [X]

Plushies [X]

Coffee/Tea Break [X]

Books [X]

Cuddles [X]

Loved Ones [X]

Shopping [X]

Baths [X]

Cry [X]

Anxiety [X]

Blankets [X]

Rain [X]

Friends [X]

Soup [X]

Flashbacks [X]

Sleepover [X]

The New Normal [X]

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The stars have aligned! I've been waiting for inspiration to write my next Comfortmeber prompt ("Friends"), and today's BttF JanAUry prompt just so happens to be @bttf-dork's History Friends AU! I was going to do a mood board, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write these guys. I grew up with and love all three of them! So, without further ado:

COMFORTEMBER 2023 🍁 DAY 26: FRIENDS

“The more, the merrier, Marty!"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence, language) Genre: Meta, Parody, Whump, Hurt/Comfort Summary: In which I, an enthusiastically chaotic autumn lover, lure Marty into a false sense of security to participate in Comfortember. He’s onto me, though, because old habits die hard. And “wholesome whump” hasn’t really been in our vocabulary until now.

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Marty & I are back in the office working hard for Sicktember 2023!

DAY 1: "I'M SO SORRY."

"You won't even be conscious for half of it!" I said with a laugh. "That's nice, right?"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody, Sickfic Summary: In which I, an unconventionally sunny “whump” author, recruit Marty to be my patient for Sicktember. He knows better than to underestimate me this time around, and he should be thanking me, really; this subgenre of whump comes with so many pillows!

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DAY 12: OBEDIENCE

"I just feel like it's not a proper observance of your birth without explosions!"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody Summary: In which I, a "seasoned" "whump" author, reunite with Marty in my infinite office building for another unhinged month of annoying albeit diabolical torment to celebrate my second year hosting June of Doom. The contracts are signed, and the Magical Reset Ice Cream is in the freezer, so let's get this show on the road!

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DAY 11: FLATLINE

"Oh, come on. Be game." I picked up a clipboard. "It's for science!"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody Summary: In which I, a "seasoned" "whump" author, reunite with Marty in my infinite office building for another unhinged month of annoying albeit diabolical torment to celebrate my second year hosting June of Doom. The contracts are signed, and the Magical Reset Ice Cream is in the freezer, so let's get this show on the road!

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DAY 10: SMOKE

"Ready to get blown to smithereens?"

Fandom: Back to the Future Rating: T (flippant discussions of violence/ illnesses, language) Genre: Meta, Parody Summary: In which I, a "seasoned" "whump" author, reunite with Marty in my infinite office building for another unhinged month of annoying albeit diabolical torment to celebrate my second year hosting June of Doom. The contracts are signed, and the Magical Reset Ice Cream is in the freezer, so let's get this show on the road!