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Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged Episode 7 Review

Originally posted November 20th, 2015

Say goodbye to the status quo.

There’s this concept that undergirds almost all of American television, and it’s the concept of a permanent status quo. It essentially means that since part of writing a TV show means convincing viewers to come back week after week, there needs to be certain aspects of the show that regardless of circumstances, cannot be changed.

You can see the effects of this concept taken to the extreme in the 90s, where sitcoms would set up conflicts only to dissolve them with a family hug and sappy music by the time the credits rolled (Full House being the worst offender here). Now, American TV has started to move away from that, thanks to the success of dramas like The Sopranos and Lost, but that concept still has a lot of influence over the way comedies are written, and as a result comedies are forced to limit their characters to only doing what won’t radically change the status quo.

One of my favorite things about Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged is that it by nature of adapting the dynamic story of Final Fantasy VII, Team Four Star is forced to abandon the concept of the status quo almost entirely, and that shows up very clearly in this episode, which sees Cloud, Barret, and Tifa all going on a futile mission to prevent their home from being destroyed alongside one eighth of the city.

When they fail, and we watch the section of the city fall, we see the status quo upended as a result of AVALANCHE’s (and President Shinra’s) actions. This serves a double purpose of raising the stakes of AVALANCHE’s fight against Shinra and reminding us that despite how cruel the members of AVALANCHE could be, they were still on the right side, fighting against a genuine evil.

It certainly helps that Graham Stark, doing his best Frank Underwood impression, is phenomenal as President Shinra, bringing him to life with gravitas. Stark also highlights Shinra’s disconnected apathy, bringing out how little this character thinks about the people of his city. Curtis “Takahata101” Arnott and Anthony “Antfish” Sardinha together give real weight to the deaths of Biggs and Jessie, and despite being very minor characters, it feels like a genuine loss when they die.

Arnott and Sardinha also deserve credit alongside Cliff “AinTunez” Weinstein, as their sound design blended with his music helps make the fall of section 7 feel like a genuine tragedy, as we hear the screams and cries of the people who couldn’t escape in time. What Shinra has done is truly despicable, and I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting to see how Cloud, Barret, and Tifa will respond.

Rating: 4.5/5

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Stray Observations

Cloud: “How short is that fuse?” Tifa: “NOW!” Cloud: “It was that short.”

Biggs: “Cloud, tell Jessie…I always though her voice was hot. Because it sounds like she’s blowing me!” Cloud: “Not cool, man.” Biggs: “Tell her!”

Jessie: “Did Biggs…really say that?” Cloud: “Yeah. You’re not mad, are you?” Jessie: “No. It’s actually pretty funny…that he thinks his dick is that big.”

Cloud: “You son of a bitch!” Barrett: “Hey, don’t you ever refer to my primary birthgiver like that!”

Tifa: “How did it get so out of control?” Cloud: “Probably when you started blowing up their facilities.” Tifa: “Yep. That probably did it.”