#fffffuck im. ugh anyway

[mythology-void]

fuck it no one else is going to but loki could crack me like a glow stick I am not afraid

[tumblunni]

wow its really been a productive week i finished some sprites took out the trash bags cleaned the kitchen surfaces finished sawing all that wood put my new desk chair together

oh and

FINALLY WRENCHED 25% OF THIS INFECTED TOOTH OUT OF MY SKULL WITH NO ANESTHETIC AND A POCKET KNIFE

ugh fuuuuck there’s still so much of it there... i didnt even manage to get all the bits that are crushed underneath the other tooth and slwly being driven further into my jaw with every day but i at least got three pieces of it and i feel loads better! its been shattered into so many shards that i was finally able to get a good enough hold to wrench some out but that just makes me even more worried for the bits that are still stuck in there! fuck they were literally like glass shards, all the top of the tooth has been crushed and the roots are separated off into their own stabby bits that are going on one hell of a journey into my flesh seriously what the fuck it was already infected and hellish before ANOTHER TOOTH GREW OVER IT AND KNIFED MY MOUTH APART

goddd its gonna be such a relief when its gone aaaaa if it feels this much better just to have three of ten chunks out then imagine how great it’ll be when all of it is gone AND the mutated growing over the top tooth is gone too! cos that one doesnt hurt but its coming out of the goddamn side and i haven’t been able to fully clench my jaw properly for ages. just like a big lump right there on top of the back tooth. fuckin wisdom tooth aint so smart aaa and I BET it was the culprit of the whole thing! This tooth got infected under the gum long before the top part shattered, and they said it was a ‘pinched nerve’ which im totally suspecting happened cos this sideways wisdom tooth was secretly sideways-ing under the gum and pushed that one out of alignment I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, TOOTH

aaaa july 20th for the dentist just gotta wait til july 20th gahhhhh

and try not to do any rash improv surgery on myself again because seriously this was really stupid and one time it succeeded doesnt outweigh the five other times ive tried to cut this thing out of my face and failed before now i think it only worked this time cos after fuckin THREE YEARS of various hell pains in thgis corner of my mouth the tooth has finally broken up a bit inside my gum which is probably Not A Good Thing cos i dunno if they xray me they might find pieces of it jammed way further back than expected and this could be a whole jaw operation to excavatae them eueuueueuuuurgh it freaks me out just thinking about it!

fffffuck come on tooth please do me a solid and just fall out ehh well i dunno why im asking that cos i’d still have to go to the dentist anyway to check up on the still-probably-infected jaw it left behind aaaauuugh then i just wish it can remain cope-able until the day of the surgery and that i can go through with it properly without having a big ol anxiety attack I WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER just focus on that, bunni! man i cant even remember what it felt like to not have this tooth death