#fetprep

[definecomplicated]

Nerves Are Kicking In

It’s been a while. I know. Honestly, nothing exciting has been happening in my life since our final lining check. Started Progesterone, check! That wasn’t so bad. The bruising is minimal and it only stings a little when the hubby gets relatively near a prior injection hole. 

TOMORROW is the day! Tomorrow we get implanted with our 1st embaby. It’s surreal knowing that tomorrow may very well be the day we get and stay pregnant! It’s also terrifying to know that tomorrow we get implanted, but the embaby may not stick and we won’t find that out til October 3rd (unless i test early, which lets be honesty... i probably will). 

I don’t believe in god, but man i am praying to higher powers tonight in hopes that this thing works and we don’t have to go through any more mourning for a child that we’ve never met. 

[getpregnatnow]

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[definecomplicated]

Help Me Make A Decision

Ok, so come January the hubby and I will be moving into my parent’s house. My parents have been AMAZING throughout this whole IVF process. Without question, they’ve offered us financial help in order to achieve our dream of having a child. With their help we’ve been able to pay our normal rent and bills - BUT to pay them back, it’d take 7-8 years (at a minimum) to pay them back. We are currently paying 20k a year in rent in Orange County and once we add baby items (hopefully) and start paying my parents back it’ll just be unmanageable. So, we decided to move in with my parents (who have tons of space) in order to pay down our debt in 2 years instead. 

Now we have 2 options for bedrooms to choose from. 

  Option A: 

·         Pros: Bigger of the two bedrooms (should fit king bed no problem), has walk in closet

·         Cons: in between my mom’s bedrooms, above the living room, faces the backyard

  Option B:

·         Pros: Above the kitchen/garage, in between the bonus room (which will be ours to use) and the shared bathroom, faces the side yard

·         Cons: smaller of the two (might not be able to fit the whole bed frame), one sliding closet

  There’s not many pros or cons to my list I know, mostly because the other stuff doesn’t matter.

 If you were in my position, which room would you choose?

[definecomplicated]

Broken

This morning was rough. Today was supposed to be my final lining check before our FET next Wednesday. I was supposed to go in, see my thick lining, and get instructions for starting progesterone shots tonight. Well if there’s one thing infertility has taught me, it’s that nothing goes as planned. 

Turns out my lining actually decreased in thickness since Monday. Even though they doubled my estrogen, my lining went from a 6 to a 5.4. The doctor talked to me after and said that while they can increase the estrogen for the next three days (which they’ll probably have me do) - it might be beneficial to induce a period and start our cycle over with a heavier focus on more estrogen at the beginning of the cycle. I couldn’t help it. Here i was alone in the room with the doctor, my husband sleeping soundly at home, and i’m finding out that our transfer is not happening next Wednesday as scheduled. I started crying. Everything I've been looking forward too seemed to disappear right before my eyes. Three days off next week, pregnant until proven otherwise... all of that gone. 

I immediately drove home, called my boss and told her i’d be late to work today. I curled up in my husbands arms and just cried and cried and cried. The hubs convinced me to take a sick day today, to relax and let it all out. He ended up staying home as well. 

Today has been rough. I hope they can just increase my estrogen and postpone the transfer a few days - but i’m an eternal pessimist and am thinking they'll probably move it to October instead. 

[definecomplicated]

3am

Well I can’t already tell today is going to be just *wonderful.* I woke up this morning at 3:33am with a debilitating headache. I’ve always referred to this headache as a migraine but since I couldn’t go back to sleep I’ve taken time to look it up. Looks like tension headache is the winner here, either caused by my neck being in a fucked up position from sleep or my TMJ. I woke up, took some excedrin and after researching grabbed a heating pad and placed it over my face and behind my neck. By about 4am the pain was gone and yet here I am at 4:28am writing this blog post (on my phone so please ignore any awkward typos or grammatical issues)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that you don’t keep sitting in bed staring at the ceiling once you’ve woken up in the middle of the night. I used to force myself back to sleep and never quite felt the same the rest of the day. Now I give myself an hour. If i’m still awake after an hour of waking up then I get my ass up, move to the couch, throw on some Netflix and hope that I eventually just fall asleep naturally or stay awake the rest of the day.

So here I am, sitting on my couch, attempting to pick something on Netflix while my husband is sleeping soundly in the other room.

I’m pretty sure this is all hormonal and estrogen related but I can’t keep blaming everything on that right?

[definecomplicated]

Warning: TMI

So IVF/FET prep is the least sexy way to concieve a child. 

Not only am I bloating so much I already look pregnant, I have bright blue (smurf like) discharge thanks to the estrogen pills i have to shove up my hoo-ha twice a day. I have to fart all the time, probably due to the bloating. I have succumbed to wearing granny panties because the blue discharge ruins all my nice underwear and my boobs hurt so much that I bought those “Mom-like” pull over bras that Hanes sell that have no underwire. Oh and Sex is a no go becuase 1) blue discharge is not a sexy thing to see and i’m sure my husband does not want any estrogen absorbed through his dick -- also my sex drive is completely gone. 

The things we do to have a child

[definecomplicated]

Don’t do what I just did

Oh holy hell. I just looked up PIO shots and how to do them. Fuck I’m nervous as hell to start those suckers tomorrow.

[definecomplicated]

FET Updates!

SO last Thursday I went to the doctor for what I thought was my final lining check. I expected everything to go perfect and to start my PIO shots for the FET the following Wednesday. Well from my previous post you know that it didn’t go as planned. My lining decreased down to 5.4 and the doctor wanted to scrap this cycle. My doctor decided to up my estrogen intake and had me add 1 pill vaginally in the morning and evening for 4 days. 

Well, yesterday I went in to the doctor for a follow up to see if the estrogen intake helped and guess what..... it did! My lining grew to 8.7! It was a total surprise for both myself and the doctor! I was so excited that the Dr printed out pictures of the ultrasound to put in my IVF scrapbook haha. 

Since the lining was great our FET is officially scheduled for next Monday the 24th at 2pm (and this time it won’t change!). I continue taking the increased estrogen and today i start the dreaded PIO shots. I’m terrified, but I know this is the only way to get and sustain a pregnancy so i’m willing to do whatever it takes. The countdown begins to transfer day!!!!!