#femveid

[whirlwindsdiary]

'Who to write up next...?'

Fem! Punk Guidance Councelor Zaveid - ToB ver.

Photo Taken by: My Mom :)

[violadiaries]

*sigh* let's get this of my chest then...

Rant under the cut:

Exhibit 1:

taken during a little cosplay shoot in mid September...

I was incredibly insecure about (my body) everything, and was feeling low-key uncomfy the whole time, even if it had been my fucking idea...

I like the cosplay, I like the location...I just don't like myself

Exhibit 2:

taken this morning after I had finished my workout

Roughly 22 kg (around 48 lbs I think) have been shed between these two pictures, so do i feel better? More confident? Less uncomfortable? Do I like myself more?

The answer is: hell no I look at myself (my body) and am still disappointed, and close to giving up

Now do I give up? Also hell no! I have a goal to achieve, one I want to achieve, but I want to be happy about the results as well...and I just don't know how.

And if I talk to my family, I don't get much help aside from getting told I need to talk to a therapist and that they can't help me. If I go to a therapist I'm getting told that outpatient therapy is out of the question for me, because of my tendencies to think about ending my... subscription to life, you know? But I'm totally against inpatient therapy, cause the last time I did that shit I felt worse than before.

So what now? I'm sharing my woes with the internet who couldn't care less in an attempt to get it off my chest, cause I think else I'll burst.

Do I want sympathy? Nice words?

Maybe, I don't know...¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I just kinda wanted to talk about it, but not annoy anyone, which is why it's under the cut... •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

[whirlwindsdiary]

'Hi there, you're friendly Guidance Counsellor, ready for action~ :)'

Fem! Punk Guidance Councelor Zaveid - ToB ver.

Photo Taken by: My Mom :)

[whirlwindsdiary]

'Watching from afar'

Photos taken by: my Mom :)

[whirlwindsdiary]

'Now what the hell am I supposed to do with you?'

Photo taken by: my mom :)

[whirlwindsdiary]

"'Sometimes, to kill means to save'....huh..."

Photo taken by: my mom :)

[whirlwindsdiary]

"'I'm counting on you,' he said. Right before he was taken, he distracted Melchior long enough to hand Siegfried over to me."

And then left me wondering why...

Photo taken by: my mom

[whirlwindsdiary]

'Where could a cure be?'

Photo taken by: my mom :)

[whirlwindsdiary]

First post, already showcased on my main blog accompanied by a little rant. :)

Here rant free :)

I really like the cosplay,

Pic taken by: my mother