#felt so airtifical it was just . noise. background noise. the songs didnt even sound different i just didnt care about them
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wish i had the fantasy prone psychosis and not the 'nothing is real and nothing matters' type
#mik talks#sorry mutuals#this is an understatement but i didnt know how else to phrase how i feel#its more like a ...complete disconnect but there is nothing to replace reality with#i used to be very attached to my dream world but now i am convinced even that is fake so really there is nohting left anymore#greening out last night honestly just confirmed it it was like i felt everything i already feel but more intensely. i just felt nothing#i tried to listen to music because i thought maybe id feel something maybe id get a deeper connection to music but it just#felt so airtifical it was just . noise. background noise. the songs didnt even sound different i just didnt care about them#they didnt make me feel anything. nothing made me feel anything. it was just cold and heavy and i was all alone and finally#for once the world made complete sense. i just understood that this is how it is in reality and every other time i am just clouded#by my own perception of things. but i saw reality and it was cold and artificial and bland and no amount of art could change that. awesome#every bitch who ever said food tastes better while high is a dirty liar it tasted like nothing i didnt taste anything#all i felt was sand between my teeth tht was all there was.
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