#fell into a lil bit of a weird brain spiral and now im having a helluva time crawlin out of it
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#hm.#fell into a lil bit of a weird brain spiral and now im having a helluva time crawlin out of it#bc im sick & playing stardew valley about it and. had the sudden flash of a thought that basically amounted to#''they liked that i was weird abt minmaxxing in stardew valley''#hm. fuck.#& tbh im. pretty damn sure they werent really listening (falling asleep) when i was showing them over that call. but they were sweet anyway#and. yeah.#its gonna take me a longass time to let all that go huh. its been months and im still... here.#just. here#goddamnit i hate it here#ill be ok tho#im just. sick and lonely ig. ew.#all this to say. fuck that fuck this and fuck them but. god i miss them and im angry about it and im angry that i cant show them the#fucking stupid mods i was so excited to install before i started thinking about all this again. ugh.#fuckin hell#idk who to show my farm to now... fuck. this is so ridiculous. why am i this sad abt this rn???#its just. who else is gonna like that im weird about minmaxxing sd/v?? like i could bug my friends about it but its. idfk.#its just different. i played ro/r2 with them and goose game and kirby and smash and watched them play rd/r2 and gt/a and. idk idfk#i just thought it was sweet#and. ugh. idfk#im tired. i miss them and im tired and i keep fucking thinking abt them even though i havent seen them in fucking months and its so stupid#lol i dont even have a farm worth showing anyone yet ANYway -- i just started+am speedin thru trying to find all the things the mod added#so theres no real reason to get so pressed abt this shit rn. its not like i even want to show anyone#but. fuck. goddamnit i just. ugh. fucking hell my dudes#time 2 take more cold meds + hope they knock me tf out ig?? wish me luck lmao. im getting my ass kicked out here#opened the door and its. fucking snowing#goddamnit.#i just figured maybe some air would help clear my head and.#its snowing again#what the hell. maybe i SHOULD go for a walk
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