#felix x rime brainrot time

[lastleggysee]

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a quiet one. He told not a soul, didn't even speak the words out loud to himself. Even as he gathered materials, he never let slip just what he planned to do. He stared at himself in the mirror many long mornings, only half-recognizing the deep shadows on his face from exhaustion, only having himself to blame. Next to his reference books for the rituals a pile of letters from Anisa sit unopened. He spills coffee on them and thinks twice about cleaning the mess before sweeping them into a trash bin. Felix doesn't look up from his books again for the rest of the night.

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a loud one. It started off as whispers in the back of his mind, that this didn't have to be the end, that there were ways, that he could make things right. The thoughts got louder at night, as Felix lay in an empty bed. He goes through the motions of living, keeping himself mostly fed and cared for, but it all felt like hollow gestures without Rime. So, when he gets tired of living the lie that it's all fine, he breaks plates. He cries. He yells until is throat is raw and sore and he can't make another sound; until he's so exhausted by the effort that he has to lie down. Then, he curses the stars, the fates, and everything in between that dared to separate them until he drifts off into an uneasy sleep. When Felix does sleep, he's consumed by nightmares of the scene, and wakes up screaming into the dark.

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a calculated one. Doubtful of his abilities after they failed to protect Rime in the first place, he knew he'd have to get everything exactly right this time. The ritual would be risky, and even with the skills he works so tirelessly to hone the size of the task feels insurmountable. He cut his fingers on so many dog-eared book pages while researching the exact methods to bring him back that he lost count of the tiny cuts on his hands. The blood at the corners sent him into a spiral at first, taking him back to the last time he held Rime in his arms, but eventually he grew used to the sting. He pressed forward.

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a desperate one. It was the only thing keeping him together as he shook with sobs in the floor. The idea of seeing Rime again, of being forgiven, of making things right - they were all his trembling hands would allow him to cling to. He knows this flame inside him will burn him out, completely and utterly, as he draws into the deepest parts of himself to find the magical energy to conduct the ritual. He knows this flame is the only thing keeping him warm, keeping him going, and he shudders to think of where he'd be without it.

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a grieving one. The demands of the magic are hard on his mind and body, but he fearlessly pushes forward into the depths regardless. His life has become studying and practicing for these rituals. His hair has grown longer than he'd like, his face more gaunt than Rime would've liked, but there's nothing for him in the daily tasks of living anymore.

Felix's decision to bring back Rime was a loving one. He sees Rime in the tea stains on his papers, in the sunsets, in everything. After it happened he couldn't stand this. He couldn't look at the clothes and other items of Rime's that littered his floors, the scent of him that lingered in their bed. When Felix decided to perform the ritual, the unending agony of Rime's absence was sometimes replaced for brief moments with a quiet hopefulness that he'd see him again. And how could he bear to look upon that hopefulness and turn away?

[lastleggysee]

For all he's seen, Escell Mirun has prayed exactly twice in his life.

The first, when Felix fell down those stairs. He was a clumsy kid, but he always managed to get up after his spills. As he laid there, silent, making no moves to right himself, Escell felt something was off. He crossed the room with long strides, lips moving in a silent prayer of their own accord, as realization sets in that his worst nightmare has just begun to play out before his eyes.

He hadn't seen Felix in years when he caught word that the Varela boy had passed. And yet, his heart ached with such a heaviness that he could only whisper a prayer into the ether that he wouldn't lose Felix a second time.

[lastleggysee]

Felix in his "You say the ocean's rising / Like I give a shit / You say the whole world's ending / Honey, it already did" / Inside era after Rime's death and slowly losing it

But every time he tries to think about anything else it just feels like a betrayal to Rime's memory after he was the one who let Rime die anyways so he just sits around listening to his room settle and the blood rushing in his ears