Bcs Nopes retconned one of the things I really liked about FEH’s Fodlan content namely Moon Gradivus (B!Dimitri calls it his father’s lance!) -
What if Macuil yeeting Lambert from his lawn had more consequences than just a footnote?
Like, imagine Macuil sleeping/napping/counting clouds peacefully in Sreng, then a bunch of armored humans are approaching, but instead of targetting him to steal treasure, they just start to fight and all next to his resting place -
He tells them to fuck off far from here, but Lambert doesn’t really understand what is happening, there’s a giant beast calling him a thief.
Before being yeeted away, he merely told the giant beast he was no thief, but the magic beast seemed super pissed and angry, and told him he stole what he is using as a weapon.
Returning to Faerghus after talking a bit to Rodrigue and Matthias about the aborted Sreng campaign - and the giant beast he met - Lambert has doubts, and rides alone, with Aredbhar, to the temple where he met the giant beast.
Greeted by some “do you really wish to die stupid human”, King Lambert explains how this is a Relic and the Church of Seiros said Relics were “gifted” by the Goddess, so he didn’t steal it. But the Goddess also sent the Immaculate One, her messenger, to help humans, so is he one of the Sacred Beasts, like the Immaculate One?
Macuil wants to erase him on spot for 1/distrubing his nap 2/being the descendant of an elite 3/daring to compare him to his fool of a sister but then Lambert saves his hide by making a proposal : right now he needs the power of the Relics to protect his country from invasions and war by other states, but when he’ll have achieved peace and Faerghus will be safe and secure, he promises it, he will return the Relic to him.
Birdie doesn’t believe him - humans are worthless after all - but is amused, so he’ll take the bait. He’ll pretend to wait here until that human returns the relic, but when he obviously won’t and his fool of a sister will come for her thousand year visit, he’ll rub it in her face that humans are worthless because look this one promised something and never upheld his part of the bargain.
Of course, Lambert loses his head and never returns.
AG verse : Dimitri hears something about a giant white beast who helped the Church escape Garreg Mach ? Rodrigue wonders if it was the Immaculate One, Lambert also mentionned seeing it once in a desert, and he talked about an oath made to one of the Goddess’s envoy but he never explained more.
Wanting to fulfill his Father’s oath, Dimitri wants to go on expedition in the desert to meet that beast, under Sylvain and Matthias’ combined “plz no the desert is in Sreng why the fuck do you want to go there we already have a war at our door”.
While Seteth and Rhea are apparently arguing about something (“what have I told you again about transforming??? Now people saw you!” “It wasn’t me! I hate deserts!”) Flayn pops up and joins Dimitri’s party, saying that if a sacred beast is there then she wants to met them.
(Ashe thought they were going to meet the Immaculate One, but Flayn spoke a bit too fast and said Lady Rhea is in the Cathedral if he wants to see her, which puzzled Ashe, why is Flayn talking about Lady Rhea?)
Happens what happens, Birdie wants to slaughter new “thieves” disturbing his nap (”stupid humans I can’t even sleep 20 years without them bothering me??”) but then he sees his beloved niece, who introduces him to her new “companions” as the “Source of magic” so he is suddenly in a good mood and doesn’t want to kill them all.
Even a majority of them are thieves.
Dimitri ultimately makes the greatest mistake ever, calling Macuil the “Immaculate One” - but he isn’t yeeted away, Birdie merely notes that this stupid Blaiddyd human never learns, he told him last time he was not his “fool of a sister”.
Felix calls him out, it’s the first Dimitri met him, right?
Apparently, this Sacred Beast (the Wind Caller Annette heard!) met a human with “yellow hair” and the “stench” of Blaiddyd not so long ago, but it’s not like he bothers remembering every human he met - Dimitri introduces himself as that man’s son, King Dimitri, son of King Lambert. And per his oath, he is here to, uh, do what his Father couldn’t?
“Return what you call a Relic”
Flayn guesses where this is going, and asks her Uncle (Dedue raised a brow, her Uncle?) to please let it go, those people aren’t the people they used to know, and right now they need power to protect themselves from the Empire
“The what?”
For the first time in 1100 years, Macuil laughs when he hears Adrestia declared war on the Church of Seiros and the rest of Fodlan “tell me Rhea isn’t dead yet, I need to laugh at her!” and is so happy at those humans who made his day (or decade) that he tells the blonde human with a stupid shiny armor - the Blaiddyd - he can find a new lance in the ruins, he finished it “just in case you humans respected your promise, I made it for the other human but you should be able to use it, to protect your people or country or whatever instead of using the relic”.
Then he flies away - after correcting Felix that no, it was not Saint Indech who made the Holy Weapons the Saints used during the war, “Dechi” only made stupid lumps of metal, what made them “strong weapons” were his spells.
Dimitri is puzzled, should he really use this lance? Will the Church of Seiros accept it? Flayn tells him not to worry, besides, this lance is like the proof King Lambert managed to make a first step towards reconciliation between two parties, if he managed to make the Wind Caller trust him, then everything is possible.
Vowing to walk in his Father’s steps, Dimitri names his new weapon “Moon Gradivus” for some reason, and calls it “his father’s lance”.
Downsides - Seteth is unable to join the war effort for the next two weeks, because he has to prevent his siblings from fighting - more precisely Rhea from punching Macuil because he gets on her nerves and keeps on making fun of her decision, back then, to trust humans, doubly so because the current war is led by an Hresvelg.
of course, he won’t be playable.
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