#feens and eryn- the chaos demons the world needs

[aces-and-angels]

moments that sent me:

1.

“Whatever you say, love.” Lincoln pressed a kiss to Phoenix’s cheek, and he felt his face flush.

“You can’t just call me love and kiss me anytime I get grumpy and expect that it’ll cheer me up, you know!”

Lincoln rolled his eyes affectionately. “Got it. Love.”

Can they get any cuter? I don’t think so. 

2. the gang collectively bullying Feens with that two pound bowling ball 😭😭😭

3. FeenyWeeny

4.

Amalia grabbed Eryn’s hand and planted a kiss to their knuckles. “Good luck, Ery.”

“What? Why are you wishing me luck?”

Amalia’s eyes glinted with mischief. “Because I want this to be a fair game, meaning you’ll need all the help you can get.”

A slow smile spread across Eryn’s face. “You arrogant little—okay, I see how it is. I don’t care how beautiful and amazing and perfect you are. You are going down, Lia.”

5. Lia being the queen at bowling. And that’s on periodt. 

6. EGGING- in this economy? lmaooo

7. Linc and Lia ending up with two lovable, chaotic evils 

8. 

“Lia, you’re the getaway driver, let’s go!” Phoenix yelled from the backseat.

“Phoenix, shut up and let her focus!” Eryn snapped. Then they turned back to Amalia. “You’re doing great, love. Absolutely great.”

“Uhh, this guy is getting closer,” Lincoln said, pointing a thumb at the man who was now sprinting toward them.

Eryn’s face paled. “Okay babe, maybe you can go a little faster actually.”

“Would everyone just shut up!” Amalia exclaimed.

this is the kind of tomfoolery that i’ve been waiting for

overall, such a fun read! lots of humor that had me grinning all the way through- highly recommend to anyone who hasn’t read this yet. 

Double Date

Pairings: Amalia x MC and Lincoln x MC Word Count: 3504 Warnings: Language A/N: For ILAW Day 7, the wildcard (@ila-appreciationweek). This fic features @itlivesforever's ILW MC (Eryn Ikari) and @immemorialmarketeer's ILW MC (Phoenix Flannery). In their AU, Eryn and Phoenix are twins and go through the events of ILW together. This fic happens after the ending of It Lives Within, with Eryn and Phoenix both getting the mixed ending and not merging with original Rowan or the power creature. This fic takes place during a time where Phoenix, Eryn, and Amalia all visit Lincoln in Vegas.

For a bowling alley in Las Vegas, this place seemed pretty empty to Phoenix Flannery. He’d always imagined Vegas to be like it was in the movies—filled with drunk people, hookers, nonstop partying, and famous people who were most likely making terrible decisions.

But no, the place Lincoln had chosen for the double date night was pleasant. Aside from a group of elderly couples on the far side, Lincoln, Phoenix, Eryn, and Amalia were the only ones here. And while it did somewhat surprise Phoenix, he also knew that if anyone could find the emptiest, quietest bowling alley in all of Vegas, it would be Lincoln Aquino.

(continued under cut)

“Hey, Phoenix!” Eryn called from where they stood beside a shelf of bowling balls. “I think I found the perfect ball for you.”

“Let me guess, it’s the tiny two pound one for babies.”

Eryn snorted and held out a hand, which indeed was holding a tiny, two-pound, child-sized bowling ball. “I think the fact you guessed right proves my point that it’s the perfect one for you.”

Phoenix pasted a sugary smile onto his face. “I can still throw a child-sized bowling ball at your face, and it’d still hurt like fuck.”

“That’s a good point. Maybe a sixteen pounder is better. It’d be so big for tiny little Feens to hold that you wouldn’t even be able to throw it far enough to reach me.”

Phoenix rolled his eye and flipped Eryn off. “Keep talking shit, Ikari, but I could kick your ass, easy.”

At that moment, Amalia and Lincoln came over with trays of food to enjoy during the game—hotdogs, wings, fries, and beers.

“Let’s get this thing going!” Amalia said with a grin. She grabbed Eryn’s hand and tugged them over to the bowling console to enter everyone’s names.

While they busied themselves with that, Lincoln wandered over to the bowling balls where he started absently picking them up, weighing them in his hands, and setting them back down. Phoenix frowned as he watched. There was something off about Lincoln today, and he’d noticed it from the moment he’d reached his apartment.

Phoenix sidled up beside Lincoln, running a hand over his back in a quiet greeting. “Hey, Linc. What’s up?”

“Mmm, nothing really,” Lincoln said as he held up a giant green ball in his hand. He narrowed his eyes at it before setting it back down.

“You can stop acting like a pro bowler who actually knows what the fuck to look for in a bowling ball. We both know you suck at bowling.”

That made Lincoln laugh, and Phoenix smiled at the sound. “Thank you for the words of encouragement, Ginger. You really are inspiring.”

“I know, I try.”

“Speaking of bowling balls, I found the perfect one for you.” Lincoln picked one up off the shelf, and by God, if it wasn’t the exact same tiny two-pounder Eryn had offered him just minutes ago.

Phoenix looked at Lincoln flatly. “Do you guys not have any more jokes?”

Lincoln’s lips quirked upward. “Eryn showed you the same one, didn’t they.” It wasn’t a question, because he already knew the answer. So Phoenix didn’t bother answering.

Instead, he picked up the heaviest ball from the shelf. “This is the one I’m going to use.”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to throw out your back.”

“I’m not a grandpa! I’m still 22, I can afford to do stupid things that will destroy my body in years to come but won’t affect me now, and no one can stop me.”

“Whatever you say, love.” Lincoln pressed a kiss to Phoenix’s cheek, and he felt his face flush.

“You can’t just call me love and kiss me anytime I get grumpy and expect that it’ll cheer me up, you know!”

Lincoln rolled his eyes affectionately. “Got it. Love.”

And really, Lincoln knew exactly what he was doing, because the remainder of Phoenix’s irritation dissolved instantly. He looked away bashfully, hugging the ball to his chest as he lugged it over to Amalia and Eryn. He glanced up at the scorecard, where the names read “Ery, Lia, Linc, and FeenyWeeny.”

“FeenyWeeny? Really?” Phoenix said as he sat beside them.

Amalia’s eyes widened the moment she saw the bowling ball in Phoenix’s arms. “Phoenix, what are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself with a ball that huge!”

Lincoln fell into the seat between Eryn and Phoenix, slinging one arm behind Phoenix’s chair. “That’s what I told him.”

 “Should’ve gone with the one I suggested,” Eryn said with a shrug.

“I offered him the same one, you know,” Lincoln said.

“The two pounder?”

Lincoln nodded.” “Yup. It really was Phoenix-sized.”

“Hell yeah.” Eryn held up a fist, and Lincoln bumped his knuckles against theirs.

“What is this, Pick On Phoenix Day?” Phoenix demanded.

“Every day can be Pick On Phoenix Day if you’re determined enough,” Eryn said with a cheeky grin.

“I’m being serious, though,” Amalia said. “That bowling ball is too big, Phoenix. You could seriously hurt yourself.”

“Oh yeah? Watch me beat you all with it, anyway!”

“Phoenix—” Amalia started, but he was already walking up to their lane.

“He’ll be fine,” Lincoln said. “Probably.”

Phoenix didn’t think too hard. His judgment of distance was off ever since he’d lost his right eye, so he usually just went off of instinct, and now was no different. He held the ball up, swung back, and then released it onto the track, propelling it forward with the momentum from his movements.

The ball rolled forward, hurtling toward the pins, until—

“Holy shit, Phoenix,” Lincoln said from behind him. “You got a strike!”

“I’ll be honest, I was not expecting that,” Eryn said. 

Phoenix let out a triumphant laugh and bounded back to the others. “In your face to everyone who doubted me!”

“Hey, I never said that I doubted you,” Amalia said. “I was just concerned about your health, which I still am, by the way—”

Phoenix cut her off with a hug, and she just laughed and hugged him back. Then he moved onto Eryn, who he flicked in the ear, and then he reached Lincoln, who he gave a wet, messy victor’s kiss.

“Oh, come on, you’re acting like you won the whole game!” Eryn said. “You got one strike.”

“I mean. I’m not complaining,” Lincoln said. “If this is how you celebrate getting strikes then I hope you get a strike every time.”

Phoenix took his seat beside Lincoln once more and nuzzled into his side. “I will win in your name, Lincoln. I promise!”

“Looks like the competition will be tougher than we thought, Lia,” Eryn said as they stood up to take their turn. “I thought it was just going to be you and me fighting for first, but unless this was a fluke—”

“It wasn’t a fluke!” Phoenix interjected.

“—Phoenix might actually stand a chance.”

Amalia grabbed Eryn’s hand and planted a kiss to their knuckles. “Good luck, Ery.”

“What? Why are you wishing me luck?”

Amalia’s eyes glinted with mischief. “Because I want this to be a fair game, meaning you’ll need all the help you can get.”

A slow smile spread across Eryn’s face. “You arrogant little—okay, I see how it is. I don’t care how beautiful and amazing and perfect you are. You are going down, Lia.”

Amalia blew them a kiss. “That’s exactly what I want to hear.”

The rest of the evening passed quickly, filled with teasing and laughter and surprisingly good bowling from everyone except Lincoln (who kept throwing his ball into the gutters until it became such a problem that Amalia had to ask one of the workers to put up the guardrails). But despite the good mood and lightheartedness, Phoenix knew there was something off about Lincoln. He would laugh and smile, but then the next moment he’d get quiet and withdrawn. He was distracted, out of the moment—there was something on his mind he wasn’t saying.

When Phoenix got up to get another order of wings, Eryn joined him. Once they had their orders, Eryn pulled Phoenix aside.

“There’s something up with Lincoln.”

Phoenix sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been trying to get him to talk to me, but…”

“I get it. I know how he is.” Eryn cast a furtive glance over their shoulder back at the others. Amalia was standing beside Lincoln in front of the bowling lane, where she was trying to show him the proper way to hold a bowling ball. And there it was again, that distant expression on his face—subtle enough that only people who really knew him would notice.

“Something is really bothering him…” Phoenix said with a frown. “I should talk to him, huh.”

“Yeah. He’s probably not talking about it because he doesn’t want to ruin this weekend for us, but it’s not fair for him to keep everything bottled up, you know?”

Phoenix nodded. “We’ve gotta get it out of him. I’ll take the lead.”

They rejoined the others and set the fresh wings down on their shared table.

“We’ve got more food!” Eryn announced. “Better fill up before the next round if you want to have a chance of winning!”

Amalia laughed as she came over and took her seat beside Eryn. “I’m in first place.”

“And if you want to keep first place, you’d better fill up.”

Amalia made a show of narrowing her eyes at the food. “Hold up. You’re not trying to sabotage me, are you? Poisoning the food to make me get off my game?”

Eryn gasped dramatically. “Me? Sabotage? I would never!”

Undeterred, Lincoln picked up one of the wings and took a bite. “I’m so far behind I don’t really have anything to lose.”

Everyone laughed at that, and all began to dig into the food. It wasn’t long until Phoenix found his opening.

“So Lincoln,” he started. “How are things?”

Lincoln shrugged casually, but Phoenix noticed the way his smile faltered ever so slightly. “It’s fine.”

Phoenix reached down and took Lincoln’s free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know you well enough by now to know when that’s not true.”

Lincoln’s eyebrows lifted. “What do you mean? Everything is fine—”

“It’s not, though, and it’s not fair to you to try to handle everything yourself. We can help.”

Lincoln sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t want to go into it, because it’s so stupid and I didn’t want to ruin the weekend for you guys.”

Eryn threw Phoenix a look that said I knew it. 

“You don’t have to worry about that, Lincoln,” Phoenix assured.

“Fine.” Lincoln nodded, took a deep breath, and then started talking. “I was working late the other day and did a walk-in for this guy because I didn’t have any appointments and he wanted a tattoo. He seemed cool, and the tattoo turned out really well. Anyway, the guy showed up again this morning but this time, he was with his girlfriend. Turned out she hated his tattoo, and instead of being an adult about it and telling her it’s his body and he can get a fucking tattoo if he wants, this asshole decided it would be better to claim he was ‘drunk’ and that I never should’ve tattooed him in the first place.”

Anger flared up inside Phoenix and his hands clenched into fists. “Are you serious?”

“Wish I could say I wasn’t. So after yelling at me for five minutes, they hit me with the claim that I broke the law by knowingly allowing a drunk person to sign release forms, which you legally can’t sign if you’re drunk. The worst part is, even though it’s all bullshit, claims like this could ruin the shop’s reputation. I would never knowingly tattoo a drunk person, but now that they’re making these claims and leaving these reviews on every site we have… god, it’s just a mess.”

Amalia shook her head, a glare on her face. “I can’t stand people like that. Instead of dealing with their own problems, they’ll throw anyone they can under the bus to save their own skin. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn’t sound like they actually have a legal case.”

“You’re not in trouble though, are you?” Eryn asked.

“The owner knows I didn’t do anything wrong, but he’s having me take a few days off to let things cool down while he handles the situation. I’m sure it’ll be fine, but I can’t help but worry and overthink every possible way things could turn out wrong. I would hate to lose this job.” Lincoln ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh.

Eryn and Phoenix exchanged looks, and neither had to say anything to know what the other was thinking.

“What information do you have on this guy?” Phoenix asked.

Lincoln gave him a flat look. “Phoenix. I know what you’re thinking, and no. We’re not going to do anything to this guy.”

“I never said I was going to do something to him.”

“You thought it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re Phoenix Flannery. Of course you did.”

Phoenix shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Well I think this asshole needs to learn a lesson,” Eryn said.

“And I think we shouldn’t let this asshole ruin the rest of this date,” Amalia said. “Who’s up for the next round?”

Eryn immediately shot to their feet. “Oh, I am. Let’s do this.”

“Maybe if you imagine this guy’s head as the bowling pins, you’ll actually get some points, Lincoln,” Phoenix teased. Lincoln just rolled his eyes.

Soon enough, the game was over (and Amalia won, to no one’s surprise). But as they headed out to the car, Eryn pulled Phoenix aside.

“Hey,” they said, voice low. “I found the guy who did this to Lincoln.”

Phoenix’s eyes widened. “What? Who is it? How?”

“Lincoln said this guy was leaving reviews on every review site he could get his hands on. Wasn’t hard to find out who he was, and once I had that, you can find anything.”

A smirk stretched across Phoenix’s face. “You already got his address, didn’t you.”

Eryn’s own smirk mirrored Phoenix’s. “Yep. All we need now is some eggs.”

***

Amalia and Lincoln didn’t think much of it when Phoenix and Eryn claimed they wanted some eggs so they could make breakfast for everyone the following morning. Lincoln did think it was a little strange when Eryn said there was supposedly a pop-up art show they were interested in visiting, especially since he had never heard of it, but he didn’t protest when Eryn typed the address into their phone and held it up for Amalia to follow. A few minutes later, they pulled up in front of a modest home with brown bricks and a two-car garage.

“What the… there’s no pop-up art show,” Amalia said, narrowing her eyes at the house as if the art show might appear out of thin air if she looked hard enough.

“Oh really?” Eryn said with a mischievous grin. “How odd. This is the place, according to the address I had.”

Lincoln looked over at Phoenix, eyes falling from the unfamiliar home to the carton of eggs in his hands. Understanding dawned on his face and his mouth fell open. “Amalia, this isn’t—”

“TIME FOR THIS FUCKER TO PAY!” Phoenix yelled, and before anyone could say anything, he and Eryn threw open their car doors and ran toward the house, cackling all the while.

“Egg me up!” Eryn half-whispered, half-yelled. Phoenix threw open the carton and Eryn scooped up a handful of eggs.

Behind them, Phoenix heard car doors open and slam shut followed by two pairs of approaching footsteps, but he ignored them.

“Phoenix, Eryn, no—!” Amalia started, but Phoenix was already slinging his arm back. He released the egg into the air and everyone stared as it flew forward, quietly, silently, until it slammed into the house with a splat! It cracked open immediately, drizzling its gooey, yellow yolk along the house’s brick walls.

“Oh my god,” Lincoln said. “You found my client’s house?”

“I did,” Eryn said casually. “I think this is what he deserves, don't you?”

Without waiting for a response, Eryn hurled one of their eggs straight at the garage door. Phoenix howled with laughter and threw another one, and another one, while Lincoln and Amalia watched on in horror.

“You guys, this is not a good way to deal with problems!” Amalia said.

“I don’t think—” Lincoln started, but Phoenix grabbed his hand and placed an egg into his palm.

“I bet it’ll help you feel better,” Phoenix said. “And if it doesn’t… well, I’ll find a way to make it up to you tonight.”

Lincoln looked down at the egg in consideration. “That guy was a real dick.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh no, not you too,” Amalia said.

Lincoln glanced back at her. “Sorry, but this guy really pissed me off.” Then he threw the egg, landing it directly on the front door.

“HELL yeah!” Eryn and Phoenix whooped in unison. And for the first time that night, Lincoln’s laugh seemed truly free.

Between the three of them, they quickly emptied their first carton and were just getting to the second when the outdoor lights turned on and the front door opened.

Phoenix glanced down at the incriminating egg in his hand. “Oh shit.”

A middle aged man with a freshly wrapped tattoo on his arm stepped out onto the porch. His face contorted with anger as his eyes fell upon the people standing in his yard with cartons of eggs. “What the hell are you doing here? I’ll—I’ll call the police!”

“Time to go!” Eryn yelled, abandoning their empty carton and sprinting back to the car. Phoenix grabbed Lincoln’s hand and dragged him after them.

“We’re sorry we’re sorry we’re sorry—” Amalia cried as she threw open the driver’s side door and practically dove into the car. As she struggled with shaking hands to start the ignition, the man started down the steps, yelling and cursing as he walked toward them.

“Lia, you’re the getaway driver, let’s go!” Phoenix yelled from the backseat.

“Phoenix, shut up and let her focus!” Eryn snapped. Then they turned back to Amalia. “You’re doing great, love. Absolutely great.”

“Uhh, this guy is getting closer,” Lincoln said, pointing a thumb at the man who was now sprinting toward them.

Eryn’s face paled. “Okay babe, maybe you can go a little faster actually.”

“Would everyone just shut up!” Amalia exclaimed. The car fell silent, and not a second later, the car sputtered to life. “That’s more like it!” Amalia slammed her foot down on the pedal and the car screeched as it lurched forward just as the man reached the curb. Amalia rolled down her window and swung the car around in a U-turn.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Eryn asked. “I thought we were trying to get away.”

“I just have something I want to say to this guy.” Amalia slowed down slightly as she passed the man, who was standing fuming on the curb. Then she stuck her arm out the window and flipped him off. “This is what you get for being an asshole, asshole!” And without another moment’s hesitation, she shot down the quiet neighborhood street, leaving the man and his egged house behind them.

The moment they were out of view, the tension snapped and everyone burst out into roaring laughter.

“Amalia that was SO HOT!” Eryn yelled.

Phoenix laughed. “Yeah, seriously badass! Oh my god did you guys see the look on his face?”

“Maybe next time he’ll think twice before throwing a stranger under the bus to save his shit relationship,” Lincoln said between laughs.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Amalia said, wiping tears from her eyes.

Eryn leaned back in their seat, a look of pure contentment on their face. “That was awesome. We should do stuff like this more often.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Amalia said.

“Why? You had fun!”

“Because I hate getting in trouble!”

As Eryn and Amalia fell into their familiar, affectionate bickering, Phoenix hooked arms with Lincoln and rested his head on his shoulder.

“You feel better now, don’t you, Linc?”

Lincoln chuckled. “Unfortunately, yes. That was strangely therapeutic. But I don’t want you thinking you can solve every problem in life by throwing eggs at someone’s house.”

“The hell are you talking about? Egging always works. I learned this when I was in middle school.”

Lincoln smiled and rested his head against Phoenix’s. “Thanks.”

“For what? For almost getting you arrested?”

“For getting me out of my own head. You were right. I’ve gotten better about it, but I still sometimes feel like I have to handle things alone instead of letting others in. So thanks for making sure I don’t do that.”

Phoenix smiled up at Lincoln and reached up to give him a quick kiss. “I love you, Linc.”

“I love you, too.”