#feeling v unhinged rn

[lightningtitties]

“i thought about you every moment.” “there wasn’t a moment i wasn’t thinking about you.” “where are you going?” “wherever you’re going.” “you make me better” “you’re my tether, my anchor” “you don’t have to listen in to get my thoughts, i’ll always share them with you. you can just ask” “can i kiss you?”

[yoosung-ah]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[pedgito]

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 | dbf!Joel Miller x reader

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi

summary | you're stranded, you need help—of course, Joel Miller is your savior.

content warning | listen. i wrote this in 3 hours, idk what to say. i had a thot and it went from there. its completely p w/o p, dbf!joel, age gap, moodboard is for aesthetic and reader is mostly not described aside from hair long enough to be put up, unhinged popsicle eating, eye-fucking, public-ish unprotected p in v car sex. listen i'm on my period rn don't look at me and thank you for my love, my twin, @chaotic-mystery for constantly supporting my gremlin behavior

word count — 3.2k

Out of all the people you had the chance of running into—of course it was Joel.

The chances were slim, but not impossible. You knew his work schedule well enough, similar to that of your fathers. He worked early mornings into the late evening, taking his commute home just as the sun was starting to set.

You gripped the gas can in one hand as you made your way down the side road, the other hand placed over your eyes like a visor to block the sun away. You didn’t even have a cell signal out here, so the walk seemed fruitless.

But, you had to find a gas station. 

You thought you could make it home, which was clearly poor judgment, and the hair falling from the haphazardly tied knot on top of your head was sticking to your neck, eyes squinting as the truck pulled up next to you.

“Now, darlin’—the hell are you doin’ out here in the middle of nowhere?” Joel asks, the blast of AC hitting you in the face as he rolls down the window, arm leaned over the console as he looked you over. 

It was clear you’ve been out here longer than you should and Joel doesn’t even take a second to hesitate before he’s popping the handle on the passenger door and inviting you inside the cooler cabin of his truck.

“Where are you comin’ from?” He asks, shifting the truck into drive before he rests his palm over the gear shift.

“A friend, I thought I had enough gas to make it home but,” You shrug, waving vaguely at your car parked on the side of the road as he drives by.

What took a fifteen minute walk to where Joel had picked you up was only a minute or so drive back. Joel looks at you wearily and turns up the AC, blasting the stray hairs away from your face but the immediate burst of cold feels like absolute heaven.

“Grab a water out of my cooler, sweetheart,” He gestures with a thumb over his shoulder and you scramble, leaning over the center console with your ass popped up in the air.

Joel assumed it had to have been a pool party, the skirt covering your bottom half doing nothing to hide the thin, strappy bikini bottoms you wore underneath. 

Joel doesn’t mean to stare, but he’s worried that you might hurt yourself, his hand reaching out to wrap around your calf in an effort to keep you steady.

A subtle smirk plays at the corner of your mouth as you reach for the water inside the cooler and pop your head back up, your ass grazing his hand on the way down as you twist back into your seat.

Little touches were never a big thing with you two, normal and constant and nothing unusual.

A hand on your shoulder at family cookouts, his hands engulfing yours as he popped open the cap on your beer, a squeeze of his hand at the back of your neck when he hugged you after a month or two of not seeing you around your father’s house due to college or work, whatever was keeping you so busy. He didn’t try to pry, but you’ve been around less and less with each passing summer—so this unsuspecting time with you, he didn’t mind. It was nice.

Really nice.

You twist at the cap and take a drink of the water, so thirsty that it starts to drip out of your mouth, a small droplet down your chin, reaching your chest and down the center of your breasts.

“It ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Joel jokes, squinting his eyes as he hides the growing grin on his face with his usual frown.

“Sorry, being out in that heat like that…” You take a breath, recalling the bottle and putting it in the drink holder, “I just feel so stupid for thinking I could make it.“

When the street lights come into view, you know you're closer to actual civilization. And, just as Joel takes a right on the next intersection you stop at, there it was.

“It happens,” Joel comforts, “but you were lucky I was drivin’ home—can’t even think about what could have happened if I didn’t pass by.”

Joel pulls into the gas station and turns off the ignition.

“Well,” You flash a bright smile, squeezing at his shoulder—he’s got on a dark shirt plastered with the logo of the construction company he worked for, faded and slightly damp from his own sweat, “you did and I’m thankful for it, Joel.”

“Hand it over,” Joel motions toward the gas can, “I’ll fill ‘er up for you.”

“Joel, you don’t have to—“

Joel tilts his head toward the gas can at your feet, eyebrows raised and hand held out expectantly.

“Just hand it over.”

You sigh softly and relent, reaching between your legs to grab the plastic jug, knowing of the eyes that drag down your spine from the open back of your top, tied just as your neck and the side of your breasts spilling out of your swim top.

Joel knows a snag, just a simple hook of his fingers would send them spilling out into the cool air, nipples perked up under the mesh fabric of your top and—

“Joel.”

Joel’s eyes pull up suddenly, his face flushed but he’s lucked out by the redness of hot, summer heat on his face.. He clears his throat and grabs the gas can.

“Be right back,” He tells you, “stay put, alright?”

“And where would I go?” You retort playful, “I’m sure you’d find me again anyways.”

Joel chuckles to himself with a shake of his head as he departs into the store, handing a ten to the clerk before he takes a quick glance back at you, fanning yourself with your hand and chugging down another swig of water.

“Actually,” Joel pauses for a moment, holding a finger up as he lingers down the aisle toward the freezer and grabs out two popsicles, hoping that would quell some of the heat, even if for a moment—plus, he knew you had quite the sweet tooth, “there, just put whatever’s left on the pump and I’ll use that to fill it up.”

The clerk nods and scans the items, handing Joel off the receipt and he’s half jogging back toward his truck—quick to toss you the keys and the two popsicle’s he’d bought.

“What is this?” You ask cheerfully, eyes lighting up as they plopped into your lap.

Joel kept the driver's side open as he filled up the gas can, watching as you peeled eagerly at the popsicle, the red dye immediately dripping down your fingers as you pulled away the plastic.

“Just throw it on the floorboard—I’ll clean it up later,” Joel notes as you look around, placing the lid back on the gas can before climbing back into the truck, “you mind openin’ mine?”

You place the cherry flavored popsicle between your lips with an eagerness that forces Joel to look away, the sound of you peeling away plastic in his ear as he pulls out of the gas station and makes his way back toward your car.

“Thank you, baby,” He says casually—not all that odd either, he’s got a million nicknames for you, some trickier to let slip around others but there was an unspoken agreement. You never minded, never cared.

He was only ever Joel to you and he didn’t mind that either. 

“Of course,” You smile, before dragging your tongue along the bottom of the popsicle and back up, sinking it back between your lips.

Joel just bites at it, not one to savor things very often.

You giggle and roll your eyes, the popsicle tip just as the edge of your lips before Joel is looking over at you curiously, ignoring the red stain of popsicle on your tongue as it peeks out.

“What?”

“Just—you’re not even trying to enjoy it, Joel.”

“It’s meant to be eaten, right?”

“It’s hot—it’s a cold treat, you’re supposed to make it last a little. Come on,” You hold the popsicle out for demonstration before licking up the side, sinking your lips back down in a show that was more for yourself, knowing how he constantly looked at you—if Joel chokes on the bite of flavored ice in his mouth you don’t see it.

It wasn’t a secret, how he looked at you. It’s been a few years since you left for college and teetering that line, nearing your mid-twenties now it seemed like it had only gotten more and more obvious. Joel’s never made his own advances aside from the one time your drunken state made you a little too confident, sliding between his legs at one of your family parties late at night, pressing a kiss right against his lips that ended far too quickly. 

He did kiss you back though, you do remember that.

“Alright, alright,” Joel waves his hand at you nonchalantly, “you can cut that out.”

You raise an eyebrow, feeling the sticky sweet juice slip down your fingers as the popsicle starts to melt, nearly finished as Joel had already downed his own.

“I’m just eating the popsicle,” You brush him off, “that you bought me—“

“You know what I’m talkin’ about, sweetheart.”

You do, but that half second of lingering pause makes Joel worry he has read the situation completely wrong.

“What? Do you not like it?” You tease him, “Doesn’t it turn you on, Joel?”

You finish up the last bit before tucking the stick into the plastic and back on the ground, suddenly realizing the red dye had stained the front of your top, causing a frown to form on your face as you rubbed at the material.

“Shit,” You curse, ignoring the heated look on Joel’s face at your words, practically oblivious with the sudden distraction. You pull at the tie on the back of your top and bunch up the fabric as you stuff it between your lap, meeting Joel’s half-dumbstruck look as he tries to keep his eyes on the road but also can’t draw his eyes away from you, “what—I got it all over my shirt?”

Joel pulls to the side of the road in an instant, forcing the truck into park, “What are you playin’ at?”

You look at him with confusion, narrowing your eyes.

“What? Why did you pull over?”

“What are the chances of me findin’ you out here? On this road?” He raises his eyebrows expectantly, “Hm?”

You feign innocence for a few seconds before you cave, smiling with a devilish glint, resting your chin in your hand as you lean against the center console, your bikini top doing nothing to cover the plump of your breasts as the press against the fabric.

“Well, I mean—I figured they were pretty likely but—“

“Is your car even out of gas?”

You chew at your bottom lip thoughtfully, eyes tilting upwards in thought—truth…lie. 

Joel seemed set on getting the truth. So, you give it to him.

“No, but I had you going, didn’t I?”

Joel is silent for too long and you raise your eyebrows in question before Joel reaches forward, tugging at the lever under his seat to send him scooting back.

“Come here,” It’s simple. An instruction. 

But the look on his face—the intimidation shakes you to your core.

“Now, don’t back off,” Joel challenges, “it’s what you wanted, right?”

“As if you don’t want it either,” You counter, “you’ve been eye-fucking me since I got in your truck.”

Joel doesn’t even deny it, only waits. A simple nod of his head in a gesture for you to climb over and into his lap.

So, you do.

His hands immediately find your thighs and push up the denim skirt, your own hands resting at your sides as you scoot until your cunt is pressed up against the hard line of his zipper, the denim of his jeans so sensitive against your bare skin, feeling like all your senses were dialed up.

“We do this,” Joel starts, “there’s no going back. So, I need you to think if you really want this or—“

You surge forward, forcing the back of his head into the headrest as you swallow his words in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, tongues clashing with the taste of sugary sweetness.

“Gotta be quick,” Joel tells you, his words lost on deaf ears as your hands drag down his front, inhaling the faint scent of his cologne, the ironic freshness despite having worked in the heat all day, “can I fuck you, baby? S’that too much to ask?”

You shake your head, peppering soft kisses against his lips, along his jaw, feeling his fingers reach for each tie at your hips and pull, his hand immediately sliding over your cunt, cupping you with the warmth of his palm.

“Get it out, baby—got my hands a little busy right now.”

The heat in his words makes your pussy clench, but your hands move even faster, dragging over the front of his jeans and pulling at the zipper swiftly and Joel lifts his hips enough to get them down his thighs but that was it, hissing at the instant your hand closes around his cock.

“You got a problem with me fuckin’ you like this?” Joel asks, a true gentleman, but you roll your eyes. “Don’t even know why I asked—you’ve been beggin’ for it.”

You tilt your head, smiling at him playfully before you lick at your fingers and taste the remaining sticky sugar before pressing them along the center of your cunt, mixed with the already growing slick—Joel nudges at your entrance as you watch, the tip of his cock notched against your hole and your pussy quivers with the anticipation as he drags his cock up, down, up, before sliding in all at once.

It’s slow, but intense. Your eyes close, brow drawing together as he pulls you further and further down his cock.

“Open,” He breathes out, “open your eyes and look at how you’re takin’ me, baby.”

You blink quickly, grabbing onto his bicep for purchase as you look down, his hands squeezing at the tops of your thighs as he admired, watching the way his cock has you on the edge of near tears—a mix of overwhelming emotion and intense sensation.

Joel pulls at your top gently and it falls without much struggle, he bunches the material up and tosses it aside with your bottoms, massaging the swell of your tits under his palms as you rock your hips slowly, hearing the soft grunt behind his closed lips as you lean into his touch.

Flicking his thumb over your nipples, he admires the way the nubs hardered, like he’d imagine earlier—he tries not to dwell on how you both got here, like it wasn’t years of built up tension finally crumbling underneath you both.

“Don’t be shy,” He tells you, “take whatever you need, baby.”

As does he, leaning forward to press his lips against your breast, tongue lapping over the pert nipple before he sucks it into his mouth, drawing a soft sigh out of you.

You lift your hips, in time with the hand of his own that drops to your side to quicken your pace, “Wanna take my time with you but we can’t,” Joel admits, “gotta get home.”

You nod, knowing he had his own responsibilities as a father—you don’t argue, placing your hands against the headrest and raising your hips nearly off of his cock before sinking back down quickly, keeping that pace for as long as your body will allow, shared breaths into each others mouth as he hands travel from your tits to your face, the largeness of his palms engulfing your face as he brings his lips to your mouth again, again, soft whispers of words you know he doesn’t mean. Promises you know are fleeting and easy to break. 

You couldn’t be with him, but you would take whatever this is.

“Just like that, baby,” He murmurs, grunting harshly into your ear as you tuck your head into his neck, his hand buried into the hair at the back of your head as you sink down onto his cock desperately, crying out into the side of his throat as he snaps his hips roughly, hitting so deep inside of you it makes you clench, biting down gently on his skin, “I feel it, I felt it.”

You snake your hand between your legs, finding your clit quickly and rubbing over the swollen nub, and Joel can tell by the neediness in your tone, moans broken into his skin as he fucks into you, haphazardly scanning the road for any passing cars—but he knew this place was always deserted, a shitty road that no one ever took.

Not even you, but today—it wasn’t a coincidence. 

“That’s right, baby,” Joel sighs, head thrown back as he groaned out, “gon’ let me use this pussy, yeah?”

You nod instinctively, willing to agree with whatever Joel asked.

“Wanna fill her up,” Joel admits, forcing you to lift your head and look at him, head tilted down slightly to meet your eyes, “that alright, darlin’?”

You nod again, but coherent this time. 

He loosens the reins completely by then, practically hauling you over his shoulder as he pounds into you, encourage the hand on your clit as he squeezes a handful of your ass under his palm, marking the skin with a few firm slaps that has you moaning out loudly into the sacred space of the truck.

“Joel, please—“ You gasp, “I’m gonna—right there,”

“I know, baby. I know.” He says softly, but the strain in his voice is obvious, groaning through clenched teeth as your orgasm crests, warmth spreading as you gush over his cock, the momentary bliss of sensation making your forget where you were, suddenly wishing that this had been a little less impulsive, wondering how Joel would treat you within the walls of his bedroom, buried in the sheets of his bed.

When Joel comes, it’s intense. His hands squeezing at your waist hard, his hips jerking out of rhythm as he stills you, coming inside of you with a deep groan, pulling you in for a frenzied kiss, laughing at how your faces uncoordinatedly press together, your nose smushed against his own and he kisses at the tip of your own as you pull away, his hair messier than when you started from your insistent grabbing and pulling during the heat of your orgasm.

He looked a complete mess, actually.

“You okay?” He asks after a long pause, his hand rubbing at your back, cock still buried inside you on the side of an empty road. 

“Mhm,” You nod drearily.

“Baby, you gotta drive home now.” He tells you and you know—it doesn’t make it any easier, though. “Don’t pull this shit again, alright?”

If he’d see it any other way you would have flinched, but it was soft and comforting—not a warning.

“You need somethin’, you come knockin’ on my door.”

And you know he means it.

“Okay, I will.”

“Swear,” That was an order, “I need to hear it.”

“I swear.” You reply quietly.

Joel doesn’t push you away, though.

If anything, he savors the few moments he has in this dreamy afterglow, a taste of what could be—but you both know never will. 

divider creds: @/cafekitsune

[har-rison-s]

whatever you need | coryo snow x fem!reader

a/n: don't mind me, just eating pomelo and writing smut. i daydream about this piece every and all work day i have rn, it's pretty unhinged bcs i'm working as a gift wrapper for the holiday season and just staring ahead thinking of.... things. i'm technically an atheist, but i would need forgiveness for those thoughts. ANYWAY JEEZ. this took me like four days, help. i'm so insecure abt my smut writing, tho so ooohhh god am i actually dreading posting this. i'll just publish and run away from tumblr for a week. happy reading

talk to me about coryo here

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coryo masterlist main masterlist

word count: 7.2k (sawrry)

themes: smut

warnings / disclaimers: smut, unprotected p in v, brief mutual masturbation, cum eating (SCREAMING), fingering, crying, ENJOY jsdfjhsadsd

gif credit goes to owner <3

something strange was happening in the arena. something was being done to the camera feeds that were supposed to livestream every second of what was happening in it. only because something seemed to have gone wrong in the games y/n was stuck to the television screen in her living room slash lounge. her parents were called into urgent work in district three a few hours ago, so it was only her and some of the maids in the house. they kept to themselves, though, and were probably asleep in their quarters at the mansion’s far-end wing. except for the main housekeeper, who was adamantly guarding the entrance of the house, in case anyone came by.

her parents were counting on someone coming by - with the way she was recently behaving at school and with the rebel bombs, they were real worried about her well-being. she was always alone at home, because there was no one to bring home. except the dean, but he came by himself and only to serve his usual scolding and threats about y/n’s rebellious nature and behaviour at school. her parents hadn’t felt such worry for their daughter as they felt now since the war days. 

what soothed her mother’s worried heart and mind was the presence of the maids and the housekeeper. y/n appreciated their staying around and liked hearing noises made by someone else in the mansion, even if it was only a far-away creak of floorboards or a door closing. but she didn’t need anything from them, ever, she’d been very independent since her early childhood, and maids seemed like such an excess right now, an even backwards concept for y/n. her family employing them, unable to live without them, made her feel like the rich princess everyone deemed her being. 

y/n had felt fine being home alone until the feed from the arena turned strange. darker, blacker, and the audio seemed warped or otherwise manipulated. she’d caught sight of a familiar figure entering the arena – who was that? how did he get inside? who can tell... – and then the feed changed. there was nothing much she could see, but her eyes had been glued to the screen of her television for the past half hour, anyway. all the while she was straining her eyes to try to see who it was, and at some point that figure was joined by another by Sejanus’ tribute Marcus’ bruised and wounded body, and then the feed darkened nearly completely. 

she sat in her sofa in an embryo pose, blanket over her stressed form, covering her back and the bare feet and legs that the knitted bedtime jumper couldn’t. she realized the gamemakers or the Capitol were trying to hide something, nothing else could explain the feed changing and audio going wobbly and earning static in the process. 

the bell ringing at the front door startled her so bad that y/n gasped and jerked in her position on the sofa. her head whipped in its direction and she watched two figures entering her family’s mansion from the far end of the hallway. she could already tell who the two were, but she remained sat on the sofa, her legs unmoving out of anxiety. she shut off the television and just watched them walk towards her through the unlit hallway, arms wrapping around her knees underneath her beloved blanket.

“ms y/l/n, a mister Snow is here, for you,” the housekeeper announced as she and Coriolanus entered the living room, Coriolanus stumbling into the room more than walking into it. he looked like he was falling to pieces. his breath was heavy, hair and academy uniform in disarray, face just... bewildered. y/n nodded at her housekeeper, extended her arms towards Coryo like a child reaching for its favourite toy and sniffled quietly.

“thank you, Nora,” she told the housekeeper, “please leave us. you can go to bed, i won’t need anything else for the night.” she said in a hushed voice and the housekeeper nodded, knowing to listen to the child of her employers. y/n hated giving anyone orders, much less this spectacular lady, but she did want to be alone with Coryo. and by the look of him, she could tell he couldn’t be around anyone else but her. he was a man of privacy, after all.

as soon as Nora shut the door behind her and left for the maids’ quarters, Coryo accepted the plea in y/n’s extended arms and stumbled over to her on the sofa. “i—i’m sorry,” he said the first words out of breath, in a voice so broken and frail that y/n’s lips twitched downwards and she felt the need to cry, “i didn’t know where else to go, i couldn’t... i couldn’t f-face anyone else...” as he sat down before y/n’s bare feet peeking out from the blanket, she noticed in the poor lighting of the room that his clothes were dirty. there were cuts in his shirt, dirt, gravel, sand... blood. 

“what happened?” her voice wouldn’t go any louder than a whisper, and her lips were turning into a pout as she looked Coryo over, her meek hands reaching out for him but unsure whether she should touch him or not. he could fall apart like the frailest glass, it seemed, if anything touched him right now. his face was bruised. there were small cuts on his cheek, blood on his chin. she noticed how they had already been taken care of.

Coryo still took heavy breaths, but finally he felt like his vision was real and not fooling him, and he took in his surroundings. the dim lighting in the posh room, y/n’s bare feet touching his red academy pant leg, her legs pulled up to her chest under a cute throw-blanket in the pastel colour of chocolate milk, her small hands reaching out to him, unsure, unsteady. he lifted his head to look at her, and the expression on her face made his heart lurch in his chest. her glassy eyes – no doubt matching his –, the pout on her lips, her rosy cheeks, eyebrows scrunched in worry and confusion. he could never decline that face. “dr Gaul sent me inside the arena to get Sejanus out,” he finally said, and he spoke in a whisper tone that could only be meant for secrets, “but the tributes heard us... i’m not sure i should even be telling you about this at all,” he admitted.

y/n shook her head. “your secret’s safe with me,” she assured with a gentle nod.

“yes, but dr Gaul—” Coryo began, but she interrupted him in the voice of a faint whisper. 

“i know how terrifying she is,” y/n persisted, “she won’t know that i know.” she said even quieter and looked, really looked, into Coryo’s eyes, and nodded gently again at him. he searched her eyes for a few seconds, weighing the risk of her knowing this, trying to decide if he should tell her more or just cut short here. but really. she’s a loose end and she knows it. it’s not like dr Gaul was in high thoughts of y/n or deemed her more valuable than any other student, and her nature played a big part in that opinion of the young girl. how would she know that y/n found out about this night in the arena? she wouldn’t. it would never come up in conversation. y/n wasn’t part of this.

“the tributes heard us,” Coryo started to say as he sat closer to y/n, his body turned to face her, and almost loomed over her. he’s always been much taller than her, and sometimes that played a part in their dynamic. he took her hands in his above her bent knees and the blanket. he licked his lips and y/n searched his eyes, his... stoic blue eyes. there was a change in them, “they came after us and i...” he shook his head, “i didn’t want to hurt him,” Coryo’s voice broke and his head dropped onto y/n’s covered knees. 

she heard a sob from him, and it shook her entire form, making her gasp quietly. she’d never seen him cry before. the night on the rooftop, in the garden, she knew he was close to it, but she knew he’d never let his pride down so much that he’d let anyone see him cry. and Coryo didn’t feel so good about crying now, about opening himself up to her like this, he felt disgusted with himself. but he also couldn’t stop. and he couldn’t hide everything from her, after all. 

y/n shuffled around until her legs were tucked under herself and she moved closer to Coryo, taking his scarred cheeks between her small hands and lifting his face up so he would see her. she knew she made him nervous usually, but she calculated that that effect flipped around on itself when he was in this state, or one similar to this. breaking apart. feeling vulnerable. beaten down. she looked into his eyes and he back into hers, not really having any other choice. she had this compelling power over him, even if he didn’t want to admit it, and he didn’t want to hide from her. not really.

his breathing slowed down as he just looked into her wondering beautiful orbs, full of so much determination, courage and kindness. she was almost smiling at him, even though she wanted to cry, too, and her eyes were glassy with produced tears, but she wanted to appear strong for him. because right now he really needed a strong anchor to hold onto, he was the one in need of support. y/n took that role mainly in their friendship-relationship, especially at school, when she got herself in trouble, or at home, when her parents were giving her an earful about her irresponsibility and all the jazz they usually gave her an earful about.

last time Coryo and y/n saw each other, she realized he had the ability to ground her. and now she realized she had the ability to ground him, because by looking into his eyes she could see his emotions and mood changing by the second. and all because she’s holding him, and he’s looking into her eyes. he didn’t need much more than that. 

and yet maybe he did. he didn’t know which part of him had the urge, but all of him acted on it by ducking forward and kissing her on the lips. he could taste the sweat she had made on her lips out of stress, and the blueberry tartlet she must have had as a late snack not too long ago. and his hands couldn’t keep away anymore, either, they were taking hold of her face like hers was holding his cheeks between them. y/n would have gasped at his sudden action if she had any air to breathe, and she sighed heavily when he did give her a split second of air after fiery kisses to her delicious lips. 

he kept his eyes on her as he pulled his academy blazer off and threw it to the ground beside the couch, then came back closer to her, one hand on her cheek and the other pulling the adorable blanket off her legs. y/n placed a palm on that hand of his, which made Coryo furrow his eyebrows and look at her with puzzled eyes. didn’t she want this, too? she gulped, eyes averted from his shyly. “i’d rather we talked about it, Coryo,” she admitted and looked back at him carefully, eyes so un-knowing and yet more clever than most people’s. Coryo tilted his head slightly at her words. 

his hands took the bull by its horns, pulling the blanket fully away and welcoming the night air of the mansion upon y/n’s bare legs, making her gasp again. Coryo used the moment of surprise to his advantage and pushed her down on the sofa, sneaking in between her legs like the slippery mastermind he was, and he slid a hand under her knitted jumper, raising goose-bumps in his wake across her stomach and waist. y/n hated that she felt aroused, meaning she felt exactly how he wanted her to, was right where he wanted her, but she couldn’t exactly pull away. she hated being at someone’s mercy, but.... it was Coryo.

she surprised him when he found she wasn’t wearing a bra under her jumper, nothing was standing between his greedy hands and her naked breasts now, though her not wearing a bra at home wasn’t exactly a surprise. it’s just that his inexperienced self was shocked to find a part of her naked, and right there, at his disposal. watching her face, he placed his palm over one of her breasts and ran his thumb over her nipple, which hardened immediately under his touch. and her face, oh, the expression on it was to die for. eyes softly shut, eyebrows gently spasming as she was feeling something very new to her, her teeth biting her lower lip, cheeks turning more red and no doubt burning up. Coryo placed a kiss on her bare stomach, just above the elastic of her underwear, and watched her still as she whimpered for the first time. her thighs fidgeted around him, feet unsurely digging into the soft cushions of her couch—she really didn’t know what to do with herself and these sensations she was experiencing. 

“i’d rather we didn’t,” he said to her finally, though his actions were more than enough of a response to what she said, but she hardly heard him now. there was a gentle static in her ears, and heat all over her writhing form. her pure, supple, untouched form. all for him to touch, to explore. Coryo took his shirt off in a hurry, as if y/n might disappear if he had his hands off her for a second longer, and returned to her half-naked body a hungrier man. hands raking the insides of her thighs, he kissed her again, hot lips making their conversation just moments ago seem like the far past, making her almost forget it happened. y/n could hardly feel her legs, though she knew this was just the beginning, and she wrapped her arms around Coryo’s frame and held onto him as he moved his slender torso against her chest. she could feel the bones of his hips jutting against her own, his growing crotch pressing against her panty-covered soaking cunt, teasing her, making her pant heavily and whimper like a kitten. 

having her like this satiated the hunger that rose from the deep hole he’d created inside himself, gnawing at him like a big black hole with eager, starving claws. every stroke of his hips against hers beat the monster down but dangled the bait in front of it at the same time, leaving him in quite the paradox. this was more than enough, yet Coryo knew he could go further with y/n, further than enough, and that she’d let him. everything in him wanted to, and he couldn’t stop himself. adrenaline was pumping blood from his heart into his veins, she was available and the only one who could help with the hole growing inside him. 

but y/n couldn’t go further without another word spoken. he was avoiding her question, he was avoiding the whole last hour of this night. “Coryo,” she whispered softly as his lips kissed at her neck, tongue sweeping over a particularly bruised-with-kisses spot on her sculpture-like skin, he was an animal let loose. and his affections almost made her forget what she wanted to ask, and she thought maybe she doesn’t really want to know. but y/n sighed, trying to clear her mind, “tell me what happened,” she plead in a quiet voice and it made Coryo raise his head and look into her eyes again. 

he framed the side of her face with only a hand, his thumb on her chin and the rest of his palm splayed across her burning cheek. he loved seeing the look of lust and confusion on her face, in her eyes most of all. the pads of his fingertips softly pushed into her skin. “no,” he remained stubborn, and y/n would have been surprised to have him do otherwise. she gulped softly, hoping he wouldn’t feel it, but no, he felt every motion any part of her made now. his mind came up with a new idea as he slid a hand of his across her stomach, making a wave across her supple body, and then he reached her underwear. he knew, like everyone else did sort of matter-of-factly, that women were to be touched there. he knew it was the spot in her with which he could get her full attention. and he also knew he’d have to fabricate having experience in this field for y/n. he didn’t want her to think him inexperienced, which he was exactly, or least of all that he’s experimenting with her—which was also what he was doing. so he improvised by cupping her warmest place in the body, and he felt an immediate reaction. her thighs fidgeted around his waist again and her stomach lurched. her eyes shut, but he wanted to see them, “open your eyes,” Coryo urged her, and y/n had to force herself to comply, her beautiful eyes looking into his again. they held eye contact as he ran his middle finger in a straight line between her clothed folds, and he watched as her face contorted, caused by the new strange and pleasant feelings. she felt like warm honey on his fingers, “right now all i need is to feel you,” he told her and did the same motion with his finger again, only this time slower, making it pleasurably agonizing for her, coaxing quiet whimpers from her lips, “and this tells me you need it, too.” 

god, she hated that he was right. at first it was want, she wanted him to stay over, to touch her, to feel her, to do things to her that no one else had ever before. now, she felt so desperate for it that she felt she could explode if she didn’t get what seemed to be promised to her. the want grew to need. she wanted to shake her head, wanted to push him off—that would really be characteristic to her. but instead she brought herself to really look into his eyes and nod in response. Coryo’s lips almost made a smile or a grin, almost, she caught the ghost of it in the corner of his lips before he kissed her again. “alright, Coryo,” she whispered against his lips, “but if you don’t touch me properly right now, i willkick you out of my home.” she said surely, admitting to her desperation without shame and in turn – with pride, and now Coryo grinned. her feistiness was one of the things he liked about her, and it coming out in this setting was more than he could have asked for. in a weird way it got him going. 

y/n placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and kept him close to her as he reached his hand into her underwear, breaching into unexplored territory. she was all the warmer for him, and soaking wet. he hummed, their lips nearly touching, but not completely. it was torture for him. he wanted to devour her lips, her whole face, her whole existence. her lips were like the food of life for him, the sounds she made music to his ears and air in his lungs. “you’re just perfect for me,” he confessed to her in a shudder and y/n smiled lightly. his fingers ran through her naked warm folds, just testing the waters, until they found the opening between them, where the wetness and warmth were seeping from. Coryo would have dropped his head onto her shoulder if her hands weren’t holding it up right, but he just felt like he lost his damn mind at how incredible her walls felt around his fingers, and he could collapse right there on top of her. 

“Coryo,” she sang his nickname in a beautiful moan when two fingers prodded inside her, beating any expectations she had about this beforehand. they were long and thick, touching every inch of her, it felt like, and reaching just far enough. she was barely holding onto him, and her body was reacting to his touches immediately. hips moving, back arching, thighs squeezing his body between them, breaths shuddering. 

“no one’s done this to you before, have they?” Coryo asked, but he hardly needed an answer. by the way she was reacting, he could tell that she’d never felt like this before. y/n shaking her head at his question was merely the last dot on the confirmation, yet it still made him more aroused. knowing he was the first one to do this to her, with her. he grazed her upper wall with his finger pads, being careful not to let his nails scrape her, and it brought a moan from her that he’d never heard anyone make. guttural, coming from the very depths of her lungs, her vocal cords, from her very core. it made him shudder. he repeated the motion, slower one time, then faster the next, all the while watching her reaction. he loved seeing her eyes shut, her cheeks become redder, her lips parting, stretching, pushing breaths and whimpers out from between them. Coryo felt one of her hands sliding up into his hair, and he groaned. her hips bucked and she grabbed onto his perfect curls between her fingers when he reached farther inside her with his two fingers, and it made them both moan into each other’s mouths, y/n letting his lips rest over hers. he’d reached that great point inside her, feeling her hot and spongy against his digits. it’s almost like she was sucking him in. “you’re so good for me,” Coryo told her and y/n whimpered at the praise. 

“more, please,” she begged with no shame and Coryo obliged, picking up the pace of his fingers and massaging over her folds with his thumb all the while. when he accidentally grazed over her clit, y/n made a high-pitched moan of the utmost sensitivity, and he knew he’d done the right thing. and by accident, no less. he was on the winning team, “Coryo,” she cried with her eyes shut and he noticed a tear on her cheek, kissing over it immediately. next his lips were on hers again, lapping at her tongue with his own like the starving man he was, knowing nothing of tomorrow or the next hour, just so engulfed in her that he knew nothing else. she was the perfect getaway.

he could feel her body behaving in a different way, thighs trembling around him, walls squeezing his hand in, hands nearly powerless, chest shuddering. she wasn’t far off her release, he guessed. with another press to the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her cry, Coryo once again watched her reaction in amazement. but he didn’t want to feel her release like this, he needed them both different. Coryo pulled his fingers away, once again making y/n cry out, this time in the most desperation she could manage, and she looked up at him with pleading, tearful eyes. he offered her a gentle smile and moved down her body, dragging her underwear with him. down her legs and away, the light pink garment went, and y/n bit her plump lip in anticipation as she watched him. 

Coryo tucked her underwear into the trousers of his academy uniform that he was still wearing and returned to her body, laying kisses across her thighs on his way up to her. y/n squirmed under and around him, mewled, muttering his name in a mewl here and there, relishing in the feeling of his lips on her untouched skin and his hands roaming all over her body, under her jumper, over it, trying to cover every inch of her. she hated that he had stopped touching her right when she was closest to that one sacred edge she wanted so badly to reach, he was teasing her, taunting her, testing her waters. it was clear to her that he had never done this to another girl before. Coryo was just like her, and yet he’d put up a different façade. 

he dug his fingers into the flesh of her naked hips, which made y/n throw her head back into the sofa cushions, baring her delicious-looking neck to Coryo. he used that to his advantage, licking and kissing at the skin of her neck which he had already bruised marked with his lips just moments ago, he was devouring her with a hunger only she could really satiate, and yet he couldn’t get enough of her. his growing crotch pressed against her bare cunt, and y/n gasped at the feeling. eyebrows scrunched, cheeks and lips red and puffy, she looked up at Coryo again, and he returned the gesture. he took one of her hands in his and guided it down to between them, where he was growing harder and in size, it seemed, watching her face all the while and taking notice of her biting down on her lower lip in anticipation. Coryo made her feel him through his trousers, and he couldn’t hide the effect her touch had on him - shuddering throughout his whole body, eyelids fluttering, he was barely able to utter the next words, but he did so in a quiet voice. “feel what you do to me?” 

y/n nodded with lustful eyes, hungry like the wolf for the boy above her. her boldness came back and with it y/n unzipped Coryo’s custom-made trousers and reached into his boxers to really feel him. he had girth and he was solid, she could feel that all with her hand on him. she was making him a panting mess, giving his length a sure stroke, Coryo’s head falling into the crook of her neck and him moaning, though she knew the piece of his pride that died for him to do that. he hardly let anyone see his inner world, his true feelings, so for him to be this vulnerable with her took a great deal of courage. “do i make you... feel like this often?” y/n asked quietly, and Coryo nodded with a whimper as her finger flicked over his tip, pink and sensitive. y/n wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked up and down, slowly, looking at his face all the while, wishing she could see his beautiful eyes now, see the emotions swimming around in the blue of them.

Coryo fisted the pillow right beside her, heavy breaths leaving his parted lips, “yes, yes, yes, god, yes,” he chanted in her ear as the pace of her strokes grew faster, and y/n could feel each breaths in his lungs against her own, his chest rising and hitting against her so intensely. she’d made him crumble beneath her so quickly, it surprised her, “i need you, y/n, i need to feel you,” Coryo confessed and managed the strength to raise his head and look at her again. he was too afraid to utter the phrase i need to be inside you, feeling just too shy all of a sudden to say that. the look on his face was pure desperation, he looked like he could start crying the next moment, and y/n’s heart lurched in her chest at seeing that. seeing and recognising that she could make him as desperate as he’d made her. that she could make him small, “no one’s ever made me feel like this before,” he confessed more, breaking his own façade down, and y/n smiled at him sheepishly. she knew, of course, that what he said was true. she knew everything about him.

“you have me,” she assured him and brought him out of the confine of his boxers, making Coryo breathe in relief. he had felt so restricted in his own clothes, “but god, Coryo, will you fit? you feel too big in my hand,” y/n said shyly and bit down on her lip again, a habit that Coryo had noticed her having for quite a while now, and he looked down between them two. y/n knew her comment went straight to his growing ego, but she just couldn’t resist teasing him a little. and when he caught onto it, he looked at her again, with a smile on his lips this time. she grinned wide and giggled before she took his face in her hands and kissed his lips, as if it was her first time doing so. simple, loving, affectionate. 

suddenly she fully took in the look of his naked torso, his amazingly sculpted shoulders and arms, his pearly chest... the sight of him was so breath-taking and delicious that she nearly forgot all her other surroundings. Coryo, though the look her eyes were giving him flattered him so, took the bull by its horns again and pushed the very tip of his hard length through her folds, where her warm opening welcomed him. y/n felt a strain while Coryo felt the beginning of a true release, but he noticed her awkward expression, felt her hold on his face falter, and he paused his movements to just check in. 

“alright?” he asked quietly, as he couldn’t tell what to do next by her face, “too big for you?” he teased and it made them both smile, then erupt into mad giggles in unison. y/n would never have expected Coryo to have humour in a moment like this, but she was relieved that he did, and god did it make the whole thing easier. she wasn’t worried, wasn’t anxious anymore, wasn’t feeling insecure about any aspect of herself anymore. except the thing she’d heard that happened to most women on their first time – the bleeding, the pain, his reaction to it. those were the few things she wanted to avoid happening. but if Coryo was his sweetheart-self, then she had no bad reaction to worry about. she was glad he was the person she was doing it for the first time with, she’d really lucked out.

“just a little,” she finally answered after their giggle fit while holding each other in their arms, “try going deeper,” she urged in a hushed voice, and Coryo complied, adjusting his hips forward, slowly, not to accidentally hurt her more. he couldn’t deny how incredible this felt, how incredible she felt around him, her walls sucking him right in so tightly, “ohmygodohmygod,” y/n pushed the words out in a quick breath, feeling a burn and stretch inside of her at the size of him. she didn’t have anyone to compare Coryo to, and no one else had been inside her before, but he felt big enough. 

Coryo appreciated her arm on his back, her nails digging half-moons into his pearly skin, and her other hand splayed across his cheek, thumb almost digging a hole in his cheek. “you feel so perfect around me,” Coryo praised against her parted lips, and y/n could only look at him with strain and tears in her eyes as he inched himself further and further inside, her face changing by every inch, it seemed, until he had bottomed out with a groan and she’d only felt a momentary sting of pain. and the worst part was over—what a miracle it was that it had been so quick for her, she’d expected otherwise. Coryo could see the immediate relaxation on her features, and he smiled. 

he kissed away her fallen tears, but more kept falling from her eyes and y/n could only explain them as being happy tears, though she scolded herself for being so emotional in a meaningful moment like this. but maybe it was just right. Coryo smiled at her and she could see his orbs being glossy, too, and she was glad. it was no wonder, really, taking how shaken he was when he came into her home and sat down on her couch beside her. he was still in turmoil, but that didn’t matter now. he had her. 

“can i try... moving? you feel alright?” he asked her in a whisper. this slow thrust inside her had already felt like heaven, he couldn’t wait to repeat it over and over and over. 

y/n nodded, “yeah, go ahead,” she said and Coryo complied. she took in the feeling of him pulling out gently, slowly... teasingly. he was grinning, she saw, and she shook her head in disbelief as a beautiful smile adorned her features. and then he thrust inside her again, stuffing her walls with his great length, making her back arch and moans that she’s never made before escape her lips. he could hardly concentrate, but he didn’t want to miss all the different facial expressions she would make, the look in her eyes, while he made love to her now. he made himself keep his eyes open as he began to move rhythmically now. 

y/n’s legs wrapped around his waist, engulfing him in her more and more, and each of his thrusts earned him a squeak from her from the movements. god, he just adored her beyond measure. she was everything he needed now, and later, and forever. Coryo kissed her neck, licked at it, as he had before, and it only made her moan more, each moan in its own unique high or low pitch, and dig her fingers into whichever part of his skin she was holding. Coryo adored her touches, they turned him on, and he wanted her hands on him always, they were a lifeline. his hands gripped her waist, her sweater bunched just above them, only covering her arms and her breasts, though barely even those from how much Coryo was moving her.

“you're doing so good for me,” he breathed into her ear, and the praise only spurred her on. she clenched around him, and it made Coryo break his focus completely, his head dropping onto y/n’s chest, where he breathed hot air onto her skin, “i’m sorry, i think i’m close,” he confessed, and y/n raised his face with her hands, looking at him with puzzlement across her face. 

“me too, it’s okay,” she assured him and then took one of his hands in hers and lead it down to where their bodies met. she laid his palm over the bulge that had formed in her lower stomach from him. the sight and feel of it made Coryo groan, getting him all the more closer to his release. 

“fuck, that’s amazing,” he said into her neck, and y/n nodded.

“you’re so big, Coryo,” she complimented him again and felt his dick twitch inside her at the words, “made a bump in me,” she put it into words and it made the boy nearly lose his mind. then she guided his hand just a little lower and pressed his hand onto her clit, where he recalled was her most vulnerable point, “come on, touch me. we’ll do it together,” she urged him on in the sweetest of angel voices and Coryo didn’t need to think twice before complying. he loved her ordering him around a little, it was much needed tonight especially. 

he pressed his thumb against her clit as his hips had nearly reached their fastest pace, and watched as her face twisted in pleasure. eyes shutting, lips spasming, closing, opening, teeth biting, voice singing out to him. “oh, Coryo,” she called his name and he felt it go straight to his heart. there wasn’t much more that he needed in order to come now, and he prided in himself for lasting so long at all, all the while feeling a little ashamed about it. he wanted this to last longer. but since he could tell she was coming, too, his thumb drawing harsh circles on her clit to bring it on, he revelled in them both finishing at once. 

“fuuuck, y/n, i love you,” he whimpered into her ear as he spilled himself inside her tightly-squeezing walls while y/n all but chanted his nickname like a mantra. her hands almost drew blood on his back from how tightly she held onto him, and she shuddered around him at the feeling of her own release coating his entire length. her thighs trembled and she panted heavy breaths against his neck. she’d almost missed his quiet confession, she’d actually heard it amidst their joined euphoria, but she had thought it a hallucination. 

but that assumption dissipated as she came to and looked up at Coryo, whose eyes were worriedly, with tears streaming from them, looking down at her. she quickly moved her hands to his cheeks and tried to sit up in their awkward position. best she could do was position herself higher on her pillow against the sofa’s armrest, and she gulped. “you love me?” she echoed in the smallest of voices, searching his eyes. they were worried, fearful. what if he’d said the wrong thing? what if she felt different about him, different than what he felt about her? what if he’d said it too soon? what if he’d just ruined all this with her? 

but he did love her. he was sure of it. so he nodded, his curls bouncing with the confirming movement. y/n ran her hand over them and smiled wide at him. 

“you love me,” she said again, surely this time, in a happy tone of voice. as if she’d discovered the best, most well-wishing secret in the whole world. and perhaps that’s what it was. her favourite secret about Coryo was that she knew he loved her, “i love you, too,” y/n told him before he could assume otherwise, and kissed his trembling lips. Coryo felt on top of the world. he had said the right thing, he’d played his cards right, he’d told her how he felt. of course, his actions spoke volumes, but hearing him say it in words meant the world to y/n. 

“thank god, you had me worried there for a bit,” Coryo half-joked between their kisses, and it made her laugh. she pulled back from his lips and admired the boy above her. forehead glistening from sweat in the dim lighting, curls messily falling over his beautiful face, his pearly chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. 

“who would i be without a little suspense, huh?” she asked and smiled at him again. she could see complete love and devotion in his eyes, two things she’d seen on his face only partly or half-meant before, and only towards herself. Coryo used the moment of silence to pull out of her and stuff himself back into his trousers. sitting against the sofa cushions to do it, he glanced at her cunt and saw it leaking with his white substance. y/n looked at him with sultry eyes and her teeth biting her lower lip, arms crossed over her chest, and she spread her legs just a little further to tease him with a wider look, “like what you see?” she asked quietly.

he just gave her eyes of total surrender, he was waving the white flag for giving up and he took a deep breath. y/n giggled as Coryo shook his head in disbelief and lowered his face down to her center, once again giving her anticipation. “you look so pretty,” he complimented and ran a finger through her folds, making her shudder as more of the snow-white liquid pooled out and coated her cunt, “pretty with me dripping out of you,” Coryo sneaked a glance up at her and saw the clear-as-day lust in her eyes. feeling that animalistic urge take over him again, he brought out his tongue and lapped up each drop coming out of her. y/n felt sensitive, sore, and Coryo was giving her a mix of both pleasure and pain as he drank at her. she had him right where she wanted him. the question was – would he stay there? 

his tongue prodded at her entrance just a tad, heightening her sensitivity, and he moaned against her folds at her shudder under him, giving her folds a kiss over once he was done. he wanted to leave most of his spill inside her, only having lapped up and gulped down what was excess. sitting up before her, between her legs, Coryo licked his lips and leaned over her form. y/n pulled him in for a kiss, and could taste something salty and something sweet all at once on his lips and tongue. it was both of them. 

“will you please stay?” y/n asked her in her small voice again, looking into Coryo’s eyes. she hoped to not find any resistance or decline, and her hopes were fulfilled. “please,” she plead more as he teased her with his silence. he nodded, and it made her smile wider than ever. he would stay over, like he promised her he would someday. it meant he didn't view her only as a secret anymore. maybe they could even go to Heavensbee hall tomorrow together, maybe hand in hand... “why did you say sorry? about being close?” she reminded him of the few moments before their euphorias. Coryo bent his head low for a moment. 

“just felt embarrassed,” he answered, “about not lasting long. i just... i just wanted this to last longer for you,” he told her and managed to look at her again. y/n made a comforting face and stroked the side of his face. she understood. 

“yeah, but it’s okay,” she assured him, “there will be other times,” she pointed out and laid a kiss to his cheek, “it was your first time, so please don’t worry your beautiful head over it.” Coryo managed a ghost of a smile just for y/n to kiss him and make his smile more life-like. “you did good, Coryo.” those words of praise went straight to his dick again, and he blushed. she had made him blush. y/n giggled. 

“you did great, too,” Coryo told her and kissed her hair, “thank you. i never would have wanted to do this with anyone else but you,” he confessed as they held tight eye contact. y/n’s heart surged at his words. 

“me too. i’m glad it was you,” she said and it made Coryo smile with shut lips, “now, can i get my underwear back?” she’d made a joke again, and Coryo felt like playing along further. 

“no, i’m keeping it,” he said in a hushed voice, shaking his head and y/n made a playful pout. she’d want to make him think he could keep it and that she’d steal it back later, but she couldn’t. Coryo having her underwear in the pocket of his academy trousers made her feel somehow proud. a piece of her with him wherever he goes. and if he went home and stashed them somewhere in his wardrobe cabinet, that would be fine, too. she loved knowing her underwear was a token for him. 

she only said, “alright,” and took his hand in hers, “let’s go shower and then to bed. you’ve exhausted me.” she admitted and Coryo took it as a compliment. he wanted this treacherous-turned-great day to end, too, and she was the cherry on top of it all. he wouldn’t have gone home tonight for anything. 

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Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part V (with a bit of spoilers and maybe important quotes?)

Armand!

YAY!

Okay, what the hell is happening?

??????

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

Am I lost because I'm reading the Brazilian Portuguese version and maybe it's not properly translated?

*Downloads an English PDF copy* Yeah, this isn't much better and it looks like it was poorly transcript.

I'm still not sure I'm following...

Well

Whatever

I still like this anyway?

Also, I can see I'll have to read at least this book twice anyway. Maybe more or even the whole chronicles.

Because since Armand showed up I'm DEVOURING this and I can see myself maybe missing a few details... I'll need to read it slower and savor it in the future. I also assume that knowing more of the lore will give me perspective on a future read.

Armand is never boring.

Still my favorite character. :) Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

Not one Lesmand/Armandstat interaction is wasted tbh, I don't care if they're vibing or hating each other's guts, they're always A MOMENT™.

Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

They also have some pretty valid and intriguing conversations, really.

The impression I get is that they want to stay close, but deep down know it's better not to because they're so messed-up and would be even more messed-up as friends or else (and maybe it's the or at least one of the reasons why they attract each other?), but there's some frustration in that acknowledgement too. Like, doing something because you should is not the same as doing it because you want to and... Well.

I mean, there's more I could say, but this is the short version of how I generally feel about them lol.

Can't wait to see all of this on season 3.

Assad is right, I want Armand to be unhinged too. So glad we're on the same page about all thigs Armand ever and that the spirit of Armand posses Assad on a daily basis so he can play him 100% the way I imagine him. SMILING THROUGH IT ALL, CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm also ready for more Lestat (Armand's version) and finally some Armand (Lestat's version). Let the battle begin. I wonder who will be more insufferable.

Little bit of Armand's back story. :/ I wanna put him in a bubble.

I don't really think I'll be interested in Marius, tbh.

Anyway... He's not here yet.

Gabrielle jumps from roofs like Cat Woman and Armand quickly and silently vanishes from places like Batman. I hope we keep the Gotham-esque vibes of these scenes. I think it's super cool tbh.

I also love seeing Armand talking to people telepathically? Feels so much deeper and kind of poetic, idk. Not to mention is such a cool concept. I hope the show explores more of that.

Also, when he stops blocking his thoughts and let's someone peek at his thoughts it feels intimate? And not necessarily romantic or anything like that, but just like, "hey, this is a little piece of my soul, I'm sharing it with you". Or maybe I'm too romantic and trying to find the beauty in everything lol.

But then he finally speaks out loud and it feels deeper and more meaningful as well? I don't know. Maybe I'm becoming insane.

Lestat went like 3 pages without mentioning Armand's beauty. I'm proud of him.

Nevermind, now he is mentioning it 50 times per sentence. Even more than he did before. It's like he regretted it and it's making up for lost time lmao.

Some of the words Lestat has used to describe Armand so far: beautiful, sublime, ethereal, exquisite, perfect, soft, saint, angel (there's more, but it's been so many synonyms for beautiful I can't remember... still, you get the point). Not to mention comparing him to a Caravaggio and Da Vinci paintings.

I feel like he'll run out of words to describe him pretty soon.

I guess we all feel pretty (not) normal about Armand.

This is also ruining it for me, because if someone doesn't describe me as "irresistibly beautiful" then what is even the point, really...

And it's not like they're a couple or anything, SO??? STOP!!!

They're not lovers, they're not friends, they're not enemies, they're a fourth and more sinister thing that not even them can classify, let alone my mere mortal self.

Anyway, I hope Lestat will be even more annoying describing Louis. He set the bar too high now.

I wonder if Louis appears (for a significant amount of time) on this book.

I hope so, but I don't know.

"But I was so glad it was finished. So glad that we could go on. Yet I held to the bars for a long time just looking at the distant woods, and the dim glow far beyond that the city made upon the lowering clouds. And the grief I felt was not only for the loss of him, it was for Nicki, and for Paris, and for myself." This is sad...

"So let him be your patron saint if you need it" LMFAOOOOOO.

Is Gabrielle wrong, though?

NO, SHE ISN'T!

Just have fun with your immortality instead of going on an uncertain quest to find Marius? Stop being stupid???

You'll probably just find danger or disappointment. Or both.

LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF REASON, LESTAT!

"And the sense of grief came back to me, the realization that we were really going, that it was finished with Nicolas and finished with the Children of Darkness and their leader, and I wouldn't see Paris again, or anything familiar to me, for years and years. And for all my desire to be free, I wanted to weep." So, he finally starts making a life for himself away from his abusive family. Then, he is forcefully turned into a vampire, has to live this double life with mortals, without ever being able to be completely open, honest and have real, deep relationships with them. Later, he turns Gabrielle, Nicki, meets Armand and the other of his kind, but they're all so troubled or with completely different interests... And it's clear as a day that they can't stay together anymore, he's slowly coming to the realization he's losing everything and everyone he knows and will soon be alone again... I'm (not) fine.

Also, this is so BPD-coded of him. He's had these pretty sad and traumatic moments, but he never allowed himself to feel those emotions for too long, he always found stuff to distract himself with, tried to see the "the good side" of things, embrace them, be positive instead etc, but you can only ignore it so much until it becomes such a big problem you can't possibly avoid anymore. And then the emotion hits 9483958345x harder than it would have if you processed things properly and had better coping mechanisms. Like, I get him, but OMG. Get him some vampire therapist.

Btw, Armand feels pretty BPD-coded too.

I also heard somewhere that Armand is a Scorpio?

And Lestat is another BPD Scorpio...

That would explain A LOT actually lmao.

End of "The Vampire Armand" chapter and they're parting ways.

So I guess I'll just rot and die, then?

Or...

...Armand will return in the worst possible way lmao.

I tried to find a gif of 2x05 saying "everything is fine!" to represent how I'm feeling right now, but failed, so consider it done anyway. Everything is (not) fine!

[butterflies-and-roaches]

Stuff about stuff

(Please read if you want to interact!!)

Edited 08.04.24

Who are you?

Call me butterfly 🦋 (or jules), legal adult, gender has no meaning to me and i prefer any pronouns except she/her, probably 'tistic (but my rizz is on the negative hehe), aroace (but for the sake of rp let's consider i'm pan on this blog lol + will not hesitate to simp over fictional characters of any gender)

Main: @timeladix (from which follows ensue)

My art: @julesdraws (rn full hellaverse but keep in mind it's still multifandom)

Wtf is this?

Started off as a butterfly🦋 anon on @/nunalastor 's blog and soon got married to @/lu-lus-duckies so i felt like i should show some face in whatever this has become :>>

Also married to @/lucifersruberduck

And i'm the one that came up with the #nunwhiskers ship name :3 (kinda accidentally lol)

Anything else?

This will sometimes be a role play sideblog (bulshiting around - meaning half the stuff i say or do is exagerated or purely joking bc it's fun) and other times i'll be serious if there is need for me to be

(Just keep in mind i'm autistic and my tone recognision skills are lacking immensly)

Asks always* open, as long as you're not mean i'll probably respond (tho maybe not always right away), feel free to talk ab anything and everything i love engagement :33

*Alright babes, ask box related, these are my HARD NOs (if you won't respect this you'll get blocked and the ask will be deleted sorry): gore, explicit imigery, hate talk (this includes transphobic/homophobic/albeistic/racist etc etc talk), polotics related, horror related, SH and su/i/cide (if it's not said as a joke or it's excessive), ra/pe, violence, abuse, and maybe other stuff that is v extreme or hard to process and doesn't come to mind rn.

(Don't take it personally please, this is me protecting my mental health🦋)

Queer and neurodivergent friendly 🫶

Not a native english speaker!!

Oh and I can actually make pancakes :>>>

(and yes i loooove butterflies)

Wanna add smth you forgot?

Oh yeah i'll update this post as this blog evolves (idk what to expect from this tbh but i'm here for the funsies)

TaGs:

#lore stuff (anything hazbin lore related or unhinged head canons that i find interesting)

#silly wifey stuff (anytime i interact with lulu cuz she's special bc she's my first wife from the polycule)

#silly hubby stuff (anytime i interact with lucifersruberduck aka theo, my first husband :0)

#cursed polycule (everything related to the rest of the polycule - lulu has a chart in their pinned)

#cursed cursed worms (anything worm related)

#butterfly talks (anytime i talk in reblogs or post stuff on its own)

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

so curious why sylus has you this hooked when he's so different from xavier and the guys you tend to like

RIGHT OK i was going to not be as unhinged over him on the dash as i truly was being in my head, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED.... buckle up anonie bc this is LONG long <3

ok but honestly genuinely i don't account for my lane switch to be official at the moment, bc on account of visually, given what we know? i'm still v much into xavier! and we just. don't know anything else set in stone about sylus yet!

and all this has honestly WAY less to do with how he looks or how he portrays the villain aesthetic, which i know is what like- ive been seeing most people attached to. he has the vibes from that trailer, undeniably, but it's also really not why i'm so interested in him—

as much as the why.

as much as the how.

as much as the how far.

so i guess you could say i'm just hella on my toes rn for the potential?

in my head he has very much of a morally grey anti-hero trope; arguably right intentions, wrong methods, sort of a thing. enough so that he'd become the villain, instead of trying to play hero in some way like the others—enough so that, whether he chose to be this way at first or not, he did grow to the need for there to be a stronger catalyst that can be selfish, that doesn't care so much for morals or being "good".

and when you put that into perspective, it means he didn't start out with that kind of mindset.

so what pushed him so far? what was the breaking point? why did he turn to this path? and how different did he will himself to become just to achieve all of this?

then simultaneously it makes you think, like. what about mc would make him need her so much, love her so much, possibly obsess over, that he would turn his back on those convictions just to love her? and then like,,,,, to think about how his world could come crashing under the realization of his love for her, through all he's done and has been doing? how he'd struggle with his emotions and his actions and how to be affectionate with her in a manner that's genuine yet still acceptable? the intensity of it all that he has to learn to control... and then the gentleness that could eventually be found amidst whatever passion or desperation there probably is in that love?

and you'll find this absolutely the fuck out of pocket from me of all people because "wtf? roxie? being soft on main instead?!" but he does feel like the type to slow dance with in the kitchen at midnight, to walk barefoot on the pavement back home after a long day, shoes in your hands, lamplight flickering above you... and not in like, a goofy sort of way? but just? the vibes of pure, possibly intense, sort of love? like. like running his fingers theough your hair waiting for you to fall asleep first, watching the way the moonlight scatters on your face as you do. or looking into your eyes trying to convey something with such ardor and fervency; maybe it's a plea, maybe it's love or aftection or adoration, maybe it's determined.... you get it.

it's the vibes.

it's the possibilities that come with the vibes. it's the possibilities of how he could be, given that the situation and the set-up and the vibes that we can glean from the trailer open up so many options.

so to me it feels like there's like an 85% chance i might fall head over heels for him.

you say he doesn't have the trope of the fictional characters i tend to like; you have not yet seen me cry over wei wuxian, or khun, or blackwater, or moriarty... 😭✋

and like.

we'll still see, obviously, if this is enough to pull me away from xavier, but—if i like the depth in his character? if i like his development? if i like his backstory? if i like his portrayal, if i like his relationship with mc and how their love story is portrayed? then... maybe. it's still a maybe, because we don't know anything yet, but it's a pretty strong maybe.

[meirimerens]

hello Meiri... It has come to my knowledge (saw your tweet about it. on the saturday account) that you at least in some way enjoy what I imagine is girl burakhovsky (burakhovskaya?), which led me to wonder... Do you ever think about girl peterstakh as well? (Petrastakh? I wouldn't even know.) And if you don't, why not? (Asking not because I feel like you should or anything, but just out of curiosity) / And if you do, well... thoughts? Please? what are the thoughts

good  #evening meirination and happy mabon... now... i'm an enjoyer of many things but before anything i'm a #consideror and i do consider woman burakhovsky (burakhovskaya) indeed (also mentioned it here for those. not in the know about the saturday account). i've seen a multitude of it around and while many iterations i kinda don't fuck wit personally because i don't think they'd be that feminine (sorry. butchakovskaya sweep i guess) it's in my brain. i'll say it is yes.

now petrastakh. you know yourself i have considered it. i'm considering it rn. between us and the 3,000 other people who might come across it i considered it yesterday even while writing notes on my phone.

now for the petrastakh, same as for the burakhovskaya, it's a matter of: the same but women now. petra is still as unhinged, still has unhinged of a sister who gets in her business, still sniffs out stanislava (grieving and mad) at the bar to tiptoe to her and be like Has anyone ever painted you. would you be interested in being painted [PSLR events]. stanislava still wants to be artemis' sister, or artemis herself, and have her place as a doctor in this town. etc. petra still killed or had her sister kill an architectural rival (sad! well there will be other architects). petra still came back from being taken by the army to stanislava's apartment naked and covered in blood (if you in the saturday account. you've seen this scene).

you know this?

^ i've used it for peter. made it say "all architects are bi [...]". well know that's petra. no need to change anything. also she still has her unibrow and her plunging V neckline shirts. i know how stanislava feels. i've been here.

now. now listen. i know stanislava has her problems & issues and i think she's shy (not in a 🥺😔👉👈 way. but in a 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍 way) about being painted. now peterstakh? the normalverse ones? rubin gets painted naked. right. no he does. i'm writing it. he's shy (in the 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍 way) about it. but then he discovers a whole new world of. shan't even say. relating to oneself and to another. that happens to stanislava. no it does. i'm seeing it.

not many thoughts rn. except this one.

this is how petra stares at stasia while she waits for her to sit comfortably so she can talk to her about gustave courbet's L'Origine Du Monde :

[meo-on-prairie]

Me! Me! Me!

Hi, You can call me V or Prairie. I'm 20. A swiftie.

I'm really scared about sharing my writing or art.

I read more than I write lmao. This is lowkey my journey in gaining confidence in my creativity.

This blog is where my unhinge thoughts go.

It'll probaly gonna be revolve around what I'm obessed with at the moment so lol. I'm a massive simp for JJK men rn.

I will be delulu until it become trululu.

I can't write smut for the life of me so dont expect them. ever.

My writings

Satosugu

Deserve better

After a shitty breakup, involving a douchebag of an ex, who makes you realize he never loved you to begin with. You went to your best friends for comfort, but instead of telling you “you deserve better”, they show you the best you deserve.

mini series, will comprise of a bunch of fic in the same universe that can be read as stand-alone, fluff

No Body, No Crime

Prompt: You know in your soul that he did it, but there are no ways for you to prove a feeling. But you can play this game he started, and you won’t give up until the day he dies.

Murder with fluff. MDNI

Gojo Satoru

Pulmonaria

“You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love // The slowest way is never loving them enough”

Hanahaki AU, Highschool AU, angst

Ryomen Sukuna

Keep it Lowkey

prompt: "Be as quiet as you can, 'cause anyone sees they'll just blow shit up" - Lowkey by NIKI

Bodyguard!Sukuna Fluff

Geto Suguru

Amor

prompt: “Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? // With every guitar string scar on my hand // I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover” - Lover (Taylor Swift)

Suguru x reader, AU, Fluff, pure fluff and good time.

[jyndor]

okay so for the ts lyrics connections: cruel summer, willow, don’t blame me and cardigan (for jyn or cassian or rebelcaptain djsksk)

okay good choices ofc BTW I'm saving the most unhinged for last

willow - cassian's ship rolled into jyn's rough waters, and he cut through her surface like a knife. wherever she strays he follows, and they both certainly wrecked each other's plans. his train could take her home. I mean there's even a bait and switch that's a work of art (his betrayal on eadu; him believing her and raising an army for scarif). they even hold hands at the end in the rogue one cinematic universe tradition of hand-holding being how lovers communicate their love. willow is of course their song.

don't blame me - lol this is all cassian's feelings in the novelization tbh. like neither pity nor pragmatism could explain why she dominated his thoughts, and tbh I love the line I once was poison ivy but now I'm your daisy to describe how he's hurt so many (intentionally and unintentionally) and how with jyn he finally can do the best things he's ever done and be at peace (by standing up to go to scarif but also on a personal level, by being able to come back to someone he cares for and who needs him).

cardigan - this song always, always gives me jyn erso vibes. everyone assumes the worst of her (except cassian - mostly - and rogue one), assumes she knows nothing, has no politics. I'm sure she has felt like an old cardigan under someone's bed many times - always put second to the cause by her guardians. she assumes cassian will be like everyone else - leaving like a father (when she thinks he is killed by krennic like nearly everyone else she's loved) and running like water (ugh also cassian is a water sign, so much water symbolism with him) and he drew stars around her scars (started to help her heal from her traumas by showing up for her and earning her trust on jedha) so the betrayal on eadu has her bleeding. and she curses him for maybe not the longest time buttt

and then cassian tries to change the ending, saves her from feeling like that thrown away old cardigan under the rebellion's bed by standing in front of her and keeps coming back to her over and over again

and tbh lol they both haunt all MY what ifs.

cruel summer - this song is very much giving me like post-scarif yavin days clandestine hook ups where they both know they're just so for each other but it's like what are they even doing ~in these trying times? is it just the residual closeness of the mission, a la what doesn't kill me makes me want you more? they probably fall into bed amongst the celebrations after the battle of yavin, and they want to keep it to themselves but like are definitely not doing a good job of it

and ofc they're both not like great at this stuff in general so they're both waiting for the other to ~~~~cut to the bone, and I'm sure they both have their drunk crying moments, I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU, I assume bodhi and bix and leia and melshi and kay and baze and tonc and sefla and brasso and han and vel are all V E R Y tired of the nonsense (chirrut has endless patience for them, cinta is too focused to be bothered)

and you know one of them finally screams it and the other looks up grinning like a devil and it's all good

of course that's the everybody lives au version. the film canon connections are still there, like they don't have the chance to try it because of these trying times, they're waiting for the other to cut to the bone until of course they realize they trust each other (especially jyn, which is part of why she reacts so strongly to cassian's betrayal on eadu), it is a cruel summer because they die on a fucking tropical beach watching the sunset

also LMAO I put it on because it's just such pop perfection and my cat is SO INTO IT like he's so happy rn

[hourcat]

1, 4, 9, 11, 14 ❤️💙 for piarles, obv!!

annaaaa u always come THRU i love u to piecesssss

Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

OHHH THIS IS A GOOD ONE!!! i think they both are definitely guilty of this, especially when they start dating. they do everything for one another out of LOVE, even if it's stupid/reckless/nonsensical/etc so this is THEE excuse. but PRE-RELATIONSHIP i think this is definitely pierre. like. he's been in love w charles for so long, but he knows charles doesn't feel the same so he tries to like. put a bit of a barrier between them bc theyre so close that it's already pushing the boundaries of pierre's "i can be friends with you without falling more in love with you" whole mindset. but charles NOTICES. (of course he does theyre unhinged abt each other always.) it just blows up into this huge thing of i thought you knew me better than that and if something has changed, don't you owe me that and all the real big drama stuff. and pierre just. he's so frustrated that charles won't stop trying to get closer. so he just. "IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU." and then they start kissing so it all works out <33

4. Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?

ohoho i think they're both equally protective of one another but honestly it depends on the circumstance. right now? i think pierre is v protective of charles/feels like he has to protect him w/all the shenanigans happening at ferrari rn. he knows it's a nightmare, and that charles is getting the short end of the stick etc etc. and charles is too dedicated a worker to REALLY complain so of course pierre is like "i got u baby <3".

but also. we've seen in the past that charles is VERY protective of pierre too. the spa interview from 2019 says it all, right? he knows when to step in. it's all about the moment - they are yin/yang, after all, so it kind of tracks that this kind of feeling is fluid between them.

9. What are their thoughts on having children?

[studio audience laughter]

3 kids. ten fat babies. im not even gonna elaborate besides the fact that 1) pierre wants to put SO many babies in charles, and 2) charles WANTS to have so many of pierres babies. its just. theyre both such family men. the moment they retire from f1 they somehow appear in the public eye with odette and everyone is like "???? when did this happen???" like they werent counting down the days they could actually settle down and start this family of their own.

11. Do either try to hide their emotions if upset? Can the other still tell?

i think charles definitely tries. he's very PR trained w/ferrari so he's good at keeping it all in. but pierre can read him like a BOOK. the hidden emotions never last long, anyway, bc charles can't keep anything from pierre no matter how hard he tries, but he tries all the same. pierre does it a little bit too but imo charles is the main offender here.

14. How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?

theyre both the same brand of idiot! silly, devoted, competitive to a fault. i think they've been friends long enough that their personalities have grown to fit together like puzzle pieces.

as for ways that they clash? i think the competitiveness can become a little ugly - not malicious, but all-consuming, yknow? so lost in the sport/pursuit of something that it becomes more important than the basic things, which means they worry about each other too. they'll never say "stop competing" n shit because. it's them. they know each other by heart. they will never impede each other's desire to win. but...it's one of the ways they butt heads bc they're SO alike.

[driaswrld]

dria🥺 hope you're feeling at least a bit better today :(( again take care !!! ♡

i have a question??? did any of them ever get insecure about the fact that they are three in a relationship? either before or after things got official. in any way, too. of their feelings, if they all felt the same (like, are they okay with this kind of relationship? kind of manner), of what other people would say, or idk??

i'm v curious. i've seen many fics with different views when it comes to how they take the relationship and i'd like to know the tsr dynamic !!

p.s: i'm so excited for unhinged mc. yes, let mc protect the boys please

p.s 2: i'm gonna start reading the wip today during my in between study breaks!! i'll take notes first and add the comments when my thoughts are in place

-🫧

bubble anon my bby !!

IM SO GLAD U ASKED IM SCREAMING RNNN the wip is gonna go reallyyy in depth about that because as someone who has read alot of multifandom poly fics and took the time out to like research poly dynamics and the reality of just how it feels to be in one, IM SO EXCITED to touch on it!! rant below cut lololol

the answer to your question is yes! moreso before they got together than after but lingering insecurities and jealousies were still present up to the time megumi and tsumiki came around. however, in later more domestic tsr, they've become way more comfortable because each of them know the part they play and their own individual importance (naturally these problems still pop up from time to time though)

(also there is lotslotslotss of scrutiny from the jujutsu world ab their relationship which i will ALSO talk about dw ur in my brain😭)

each of them have had their own personal experience with this and i can talk abt it a lil bit without spoiling much but :

suguru dealt with major imposter syndrome after coming back and he felt as if he was playing catch up to satoru n reader alot ! honestly for a while he did not interpret it as a relationship, but rather an attachment (he felt like a glorified parasite) his pov in the wip really goes in depth with these feelings !

satoru on the other hand deals with alot of the jealousy part because he used to feel constantly excluded. reader is always protecting suguru, and by default shielding him as well?? so satoru felt extremely neglected at some points (the part i said abt suguru feeling the most in terms of the binding vow? well, the binding vow plays a huge part in toru's supposed feelings of exclusion) I WONT SPOIL IT THO 😭😭

reader however suffers heavily from insecurities in terms of what they could do but aren't doing (manifests as heavy survivors guilt) in apocalypse it's mentioned that reader was absent when the star plasma incident took place and after that everything went downhill in terms of how they view themselves in terms of strength and reliability bcus they always feel inadequate (pls i would say more but it'd spoil ittt)

AND YES UNHINGED MC !!

(im making those scenes as raw as possible bcus there's a specific way i want u guys to see mc through the boys' pov im so exciteddd!)

and omg have fun with the wipp! im actually writing for it rn too <33

[dirtgoth]

so many things are slightly off balance for me, navigating whether i want to be in a serious relationship and how emotionally invested im allowing myself to me, trying to consciously manage and control that becomes v tiring, im tired of fighting w my body, just feeling completely unhinged and depressed and fighting off self destructive impulses for one week of every month bc my hormones are doing things to me they rly probably shouldn't be...

i want to get the physiological side of this under control, see a new obgyn, start hrt, keep managing things w a good therapist and psychiatrist, like that should all be number one to me rn. it's so sad and frustrating that accessibility is such an issue, like idk how to afford these things , and i just want to feel supported and not alone...

idk im in a bad spot rn, a lot of past issues resurfacing, feeling worn down, but fighting them off, part of me is proud, but a lot of me just wants a break

[wu-tvng]

trauma and ptsd.

i don't really like how jarring the font size is for 'title' in the tumblr post so i will put it as a header in the description.

tee-hee:)

this morning or afternoon. i forgot. i mention how i have a lot to say, but seem to have no space or bandwidth to articulate it (it's tiring to introspect and unpack emotional luggage) but i was reading hot literati and i love how captivating short, simple, but intelligent her writing is. i aspire to write as crispy, fun, and me though as her.

i am learning to be gentle with thyself and i am kind of proud with how fast i learn through copying others and extracting only traits i find attractive and enticing into my own character/asrsenal loll. it kind of reminds me of that guy in food wars who copies ppl to the tee and then + his own cherry on top in the finale. kind of making it his, but not really bc 99 vs 1%

my problem is that i lack life experience and i isolate myself too much that im out of touch with reality. hence y im 24 sitting in front of my mac at almost 1am typing this, unemployed, and still acting like i am shi. im extremely delusional for this, but somehow i have a feeling things will sort itself out and ill be ok like i always wanted.

but the quote of being able to enjoy the moment and finding content and happiness in the daily or mundane keeps cycling back to me in this era. i think the universe is trying to tell me some.

i think i am content. and i am grateful. and i am ok, but not happy. i am v happy that i am ok bc for a long time this year i was not ok. i was actually extremely depressed and bed-ridden for months with occasional hangouts with eric that has secretly save me and directed me for the better. bc human interaction is important no matter how easy it is to be a hermit in the digital age and lock oneself in their corner of the internet (me, currently doing that rn (im a hypocrispy) :())

i no im a different person than before, maybe more lost, maybe more unhinged, def more fat. but i really dont know how much i have changed. howev, this year since i move back home has metamorphiszed me, and im not sure if its for the better bc i was undergoing one of the few intense depressive periods in life. i honestly cant say that it was my most depressing but all the hard ones always happen at home lol. its like a recurring epilepsy i have here. i have many intense depressive episodes that it seems that each new adversity i go thru that triggers this turbulence is easier than the past one. lol its actually crazy and it might explain why im ok even though i think most ppl might be wrecked by the frequent turmoil i have to navigate thou it often times is self-imposed i guess. but also this one was def a butterfly effect influence by years of adversion in treating mental health and not learning to deal with stress and responsiblities and pressure well. but i guess thats y im 24 and alive dealing, feeling, and not quitting:)

[thelovelybitten]

Vera’s first watch of south park — season two (part 1)

Y’all know what it is, let’s get on w it (stupid fucking character limit)

EPISODE 1:

Lol skipping this one bc i don’t like Terrance and Philip hope i didn’t miss anything important

EPISODE 2:

KENNY APPEARING OUT OF THIN AIR FNVNDKJD

Oh shit he’s dead…

Note: stan has a fear of hospitals

Omg cartman LMAO come sail AWAY A SERVE

UHM. LIANE WTF ARE U TRYING TO KILL CARTMAN SO HE CAN’T KNOW HIS FATHER WTF

Liane feeling she’s not a fit mom when she’s the best mother so far :O

Lol stan being sick abt the operation good to know

Omg this is so gory i can’t i’mma vomit

NO OMG NOT THE KIDS BEING DOCTORS

Liane sleeping with anybody is so funny

Kenny drafted to be team b how dare u

Kenny dying for the team iconic

Lmao liane wanting an adoption instead HAHA

EPISODE 3:

Barbrady is dyslexic interesting

Kenny and whoever the girl is is questioning everything rn

Cartman and his tricycle i live

“You will respect my authorITAH”.

Honestly this one was weird

EPISODE 4:

MR MACKEY <3

Stan, Kyle and Cartman ate the m’kays

SIR NOT THE WEED PASSING VNDFNFNJ

Give mr Mackey his job back pls

Odds Kenny has the weed

Kyle flexing his smartass brain

WE GOTTA STOP IKE’S BRIS OMG

But also it’s their religion so y’all do what ya gotta do

Kyle is TRAUMATIZED

And so are the boys lol

Kyle & Ike are so cute— fave lil sibbies

Kick THE BABY !!!!1!1!!1

No bc i was adopted poor Ike :(

Hm… very interesting

Kyle and Ike stay the best siblings i said what i said

EPISODE 5:

SHIT CLYDE GOT WRECKED

Kyle main slayer at dodgeball

Kyle also getting destroyed

Yo WHAT????? FETUS ON THE HEAD??? WHACK

Kyle’s mom scaring the kids

STAN IS ON CRACKK SOS

Bebe robbed

This dinner is v awks

Pip kinda ate down

God pls don’t kill my sons in dodgeball

EPISODE 6:

this is BORINGGG

oh gee this abt to be fucked up ain't it

the goriness of it all makes me very sick (weak stomach issues)

jesus being like :| so funny

"old ladies are fat, and you are too >:(" so authentic and real

THE SECOND VIDEO THEY TAPED YO WHY KENNY GOTTA MOON US ALL DSBFKJSDBGKKSD HE'S UNHINGED UR HONOUR

cartman calling dibs on throwing the chair

STANLEY MARSH YOU TAKE THAT BACK THIS INSTANT U KNOW BETTER >:(

cartman actually throwing the chair.... W

fight breaks out... cartman loves the drama fr

HC cartman starts shit for absolutely no reason and thrives off of it

oh wait... he does that already

IT'S CARTMAN BEING THROWN FOR ME HE HAS NO SHAME FBSDKBDSBGKS

STAN EATING WBK

EPISODE 7:

yo share the chocolate cake cartman

not this dude rizzing miss crabtree

STENDY KISS STENDY KISS STENDY KISS I'M WINNING DSBKJBKDSBKJDSBKGSDBKJ THEY ARE SO CUTE OMG DIE DEAD DIED

no bc the unhealthy obsession I have with stendy is almost disgusting. almost.

i love memory lane on this bus it's good content

might make a stendy drabble on it

SECOND STENDY KISS ???? FEEDING ME FR

the way I am LIVING for stendy content

kenny reminds them of when death almost killed them he's so cute

I like when the bus is abt to tip that kenny is still shown on the bus after being killed

stan's dad singing and stan is just :|

^^ also kyle

^^^ and everyone else

oh it was all a dream within a dream I see

honestly my fave episode so far out of the two seasons I've watched