#feeling like an idiot

[theyearningpoetess]

yearning for a love that was never mine

If it was possible for me, I would spend my days talking to you but I don’t want to scare you off with the intensity of my feelings. I don’t want to seem too interested, to protect the little pride I have left in me but mostly to not make you uncomfortable, I’m aware we just met and we don’t know each other that much. 

I just want to know your favorite meal, the name of your playlists, the perfume you wear, how you like your coffee, what type of brands you prefer, what is your proudest moment, what makes you happy on the daily, how do you envision yourself in ten years ?

Will I ever be able to have the answers to these questions ? I don’t even know if I will ever see you again.

What makes me sad is that I don’t think you’re interested in me the way I am to you, I keep on messaging you first and even if you reply to me, your replies keep on getting shorter and you don't make an effort to keep the conversation going. I just have to accept that and move on. 

I’m so sorry to bother you with my intense feelings … 

I’ve always been a talker but when I’m with you I just want to listen to you talk about your vision of the world, your interests, your story. I just want to lose myself in your eyes while listening to what you say. I want to see your facial expressions and imprint them in my mind so that I don’t forget them.

Honestly after some days I feel so stupid, like a fool, for thinking, even for a second, that my feelings would be anything but unilateral. I feel extremely stupid for thinking of you everyday, for being infatuated with you, for making myself pretty in hopes of your attention, for rereading our messages, for looking at your pictures longingly. I feel like a dumbass and an idiot, thinking that you would consider me as more than a friendly acquaintance even for a second. I feel so angry towards my own stupidity, for even considering that it would be different. I feel so ashamed that I let my reckless feelings pour out and be vulnerable in front of you.

[allen309]

Not gonna lie, I feel like a slight idiot. I didn’t realize that you can send screenshots from your Switch to your phone. This new knowledge will make it easier and faster to share my screenshots with my friend when we have our phone call on Sundays. 😑

[brunetteaura]

why is it so fucking hard to just stop wasting time

[frownyalfred]

Jason and Bruce are out late one night in Gotham as civilians. They get cornered by a mugger and Jason nearly pisses himself, he’s so amused. He teases the would-be mugger about their hand placement, even tries to goad the mugger into a fight because he’s Red Hood. He can disarm anyone in seconds. It doesn’t matter if you have a gun — he has two.

He’s Red Hood, and he has the literal Bat of Gotham standing behind him like a wall of muscle. They’re as close to invincible as humans get, in this town. And that kind of confidence scares off their would-be mugger.

But then Jason turns around, a smile stretching across his face, and Bruce is white. Bone white and so so quiet, eyes wide and trained on where the mugger had been standing.

[theaologies]

Fuck me the tour pin sold out

[egophiliac]

2025 is the year of the DRAGON SLIPPERS

[heavyshrimp]

a flower for you <3

[thimblings]

get with the Crow-gram, Davrin

[screamingintothevoid123456]

I sometimes feel like I’m floating between being realistic, being cynical and being a fool.

So there is this guy right? Known for a long time been crushing on him for like 5 years. Absolutely absurd I know. Told him in 2019 that I liked him, said he didn’t like me back. Whatever, disappointed, but fine. Life goes on. I felt like our story wasn’t over yet. (I liked him and was a hopeless romantic okay). We continue to still be friends. As most adult relationships do, we are adults btw despite the absolute teenage absurdity of the my feelings, we drifted apart. We talked on and off for like 2 years, but didn’t really have any significant contact. Then right before I left my home state to go to grad school out of state, he suddenly messaged me and asked me to get lunch. We went out to lunch and stayed in pretty regular contact until I moved. I would come back for school breaks and we would always meet up and get food and hang out. We were seeing each other every break for 2 years of my 3 of grad school. Thanksgiving, Winter, Spring, Summer. When I went to grad school I was determined that I was going to move to DC and work in the capital. Every time we had talked about what I wanted to do he would always makes comments and suggestions that I move back to my home state. Well my first year of grad school was a nightmare and I was homesick and missed my family. So summer of second year I did a lot of self-reflecting and decided I did want to go back to my home state despite its flaws. When I told him he did a fist pump and acted excited. We had this sort of weird mixed signals relationship. When I returned for summer after my second year of grad school, I texted him that I was back in home state and wanted to hang out. Usually he was quick to make plans with me as soon as I got home. He said we would plan something and then I didn’t head from him for 6 months.

This fall, in my last year of grad school, I was looking for full time employment for after graduation in home state. I applied to so many places as I was concerned that i wasn’t going to get a job. I ended up getting a response form a company, and it happened to be the company he works for. I ended up accepting an internship with the company with a potential to be hired on full time. I would be in the same office as him. I posted on LinkedIn about my new internship and he liked the post: the literal first interaction I’d had with him in months. Well it turned out that I got a better offer for internship and full time post grad and this lead to that and his company told me to go to the other company. When I arrived back from winter break, I had a package on my doorstep from his company as a welcome gift with some swag. A nice blanket and water bottle. After a lot of contemplation, at this point I assumed that he never wanted to talk to me again and wanted to end our friendship. I sent him a Snapchat of the blanket. He answered and we talked for like an hour about the whole situation. The I started sending him Snapchats that he opened but never responded to.

I was telling my friends about all of the drama and how I was acting like a crazed teenager, when one of my friends said, “invisible string theory” were two people separate and come together again over and over. Now my stupid brain is stuck on the idea that something mystical is pulling us together. That it is all going to work out and we are going to have this epic romance.

When in reality I feel like I’m delusional. I’ve had a crush on the same man for 5 years, a man who already told me he didn’t like me once. Why am I stuck here, why can’t I move on? Why am i so pathetic? I wish I could just face the reality of my situation.

[leoandbeholdclark]

Feeling that artist feeling of self doubt and perfectionism-

[caitmayart]

🎶It's Been a Whiiiile!🎵

Got nostalgic today and realized I haven't drawn these nerds in literal YEARS, so had a bunch of fun drawing them all being silly ♥

Love these Shits.

[toromancer]

gonna take off all my skin

[alydra]

Just realized I didn't leave kudos on one of the best fanfics I've ever read. Might even be my favorite ever.

I've read it 4 times. 3 by myself and once aloud to my sister.

I've used bit part characters from it in other fics as an homage.

...but I didn't leave kudos until today, when I went to start rereading it again, fell in love again and clicked the button in a joke mostly to myself.

[maskenjager]

jayvik wip dump I posted on twt/bsky

[kooldewd123]

there's something to be said about the choice to use "prince" as the main signifier of military rank for the andalites. because it kinda obscures the truth of the situation, doesn't it? a group of kids getting magic powers from an alien prince sounds whimsical and delightful. a group of kids getting pulled into a war by an alien colonel sounds tragic and horrible. the slow reveal of what "prince" actually means over the course of the early books is perhaps the most underrated twist of the entire series, because it fundamentally recontextualizes the entire premise of the series without the reader even consciously realizing it.

[kenchann]

teased 🎃⚡